


A Cheap Imitation

by Spoontasti



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Graphic descriptions, M/M, Minor Character(s), Original Character(s), Saw movie, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Trapped on an island
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-11 12:20:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 50
Words: 241,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3327002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoontasti/pseuds/Spoontasti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Attached to your neck is a collar that will inject a poison into your jugular vein two days from now. Forcibly removing the device will also trigger the poison. Somewhere on this island is the antidote.”</p><p>His hands reached up to his neck and he felt the cool metal of the collar.</p><p>“Live or die. Make your choice.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let's Play a Game

He had occasionally entertained the idea of waking up in a dark room chained to a chair. He knew there was always a possibility of something of the like considering his line of work as an informant: things like torture and attempts at his life. He'd been threatened enough times and had gracefully accepted it all fondly. It just meant he needed to be a few steps ahead of everyone.

When Izaya awoke sitting, or more accurately slumped in a wooden chair, he wasn't at all surprised. His jaw hurt, stinging oddly inside his mouth like he had swallowed mouthwash, but instead of a minty lingering, there was a sweet, thick aftertaste. 

With an obvious rawness, he groaned and lifted a hand to rub his eyes. He was becoming aware of the crick in his neck from the awkward way his head had hung over his shoulder. Something heavy was around his neck. His right hand stopped short with a clang of metal.

At once, his still waking brain jolted more aware as he tried to backtrack to what he could last remember, to a hand coming from behind him with a rag ready. The smell had been heady and cloying.

Ah, how unoriginal. 

He had been visiting a client, Himura-san, at the man’s apartment. He knew Himura-san. Knew the 37-year-old’s life story. The man had dropped out of high school in Ibaraki, worked as a cashier at a video and bookstore for five years before caught stealing from the register and moving to Tokyo, to which he was now currently managing menial part-time jobs and at night dealing drugs. His most recent job was working at a shoe store as a sales associate.

Izaya had looked up all of this and more before agreeing to meet the man to discuss ways Izaya could help him start up a business investment. One that Izaya knew wouldn't be successful. They were sitting and chatting, and Izaya had been offered green tea, which was left untouched because he didn’t trust any of his clients no matter how inept they appeared. It was going just as Izaya had predicted, and Himura-san had looked at him with eyes like he was the messiah.

The last thing Izaya had expected was for a hand bigger than his face to come from behind him and shove a rag against his nose and mouth. Of course, he knew immediately not to breathe in the pungent chemicals and had moved for his folding knife, but when more hands gripped his shoulders and arms, effectively immobilizing him, Izaya glared at Himura-san who shakily sipped his tea. He had been forced to take a breath.

“Ah, how interesting,” Izaya muttered. It had all been a ploy to catch him. Izaya was impressed because he thought that he understood Himura well enough, but here was a human who had gone beyond his expectations. He'd have to examine where the missing information came from and see what exactly the man wanted. 

Izaya tried to move his legs next but they were similarly chained just like his arms. "Heh, what is this? Dungeon cosplay?" He scoffed and checked his coat pockets, expecting not to find anything, but surprised to find both his cell phone and his folding knives. Finding these things should have made him feel better, but it didn't. These men weren't amateurs to make such a mistake. If they left him his things, then he was meant to have them. Izaya frowned as he turned his phone on. It was obvious that Himura wasn't behind this. Names and faces flashed through his mind, but Izaya had too many enemies to just point to one.

Three blinking dots flashed across the screen and lit up, making Izaya squint. He didn’t let the fact that there was no reception bother him.

Now with the small amount of light, he pointed it in front of him and slowly scanned the room. He nearly dropped his phone when he saw another body sitting across from him. His eyebrow rose.

Things just got a bit complicated. 

None of his kidnapped musings ever included someone else, especially not  _him_. Now it made sense why his weapons hadn't been confiscated. Even if it was dark and his phone light was only enough to see outlines, Izaya knew Shizuo well enough to recognize the slightest of details. There was no telling how long the other man would remain sleeping, but Izaya was sure that when he did wake up, he would rampage and blame this situation on him. It wouldn’t take much for him to break out of those chains and throw the chair at him before beating him to death.

But if it did come down to that, Izaya had perfect aim. He doubted even Shizuo could survive from a knife or three lodged in his throat. The only reason he didn’t throw his knife right away was because there was still a chance he could use him. He needed to figure this out before the other awakened.

His fingers twitched as he watched the steady rise and fall of Shizuo's chest. It was a rare sight to see, and Izaya was reminded of that time he had visited the zoo to go people watching and had been dissatisfied when he came across the lion exhibit and the lions had all been napping in the sun. He had imagined what would have happened if the glass had broken and how the humans would have reacted as the lions escaped. But Shizu-chan was much scarier than a lion: much more of a beast.

It was more likely than not that whoever had brought them here was watching them. Izaya shifted the cell phone and the light filtered thinly across the room. It was the size of a classroom, with just them on opposite ends chained to the wall and sitting in chairs. There was a barred window just wide enough for a child to fit through. In a far corner was a door.

Izaya huffed in annoyance. Why did these people put in all of this effort to see them try to kill each other, when they could have watched it on the streets for free? Was it something idiotic, like whoever murdered the other got to be freed from this brainless setup?

Izaya frowned. It didn’t help that his mouth still felt dry and he had a slight headache. How long had passed since he was knocked out? He checked his phone again. The time was 10:28 am, but judging from the window, it looked too dark to be that time. Were they even in Tokyo? In Japan? What kind of screwed up game was...

“Oh.” Izaya tapped on the phone display roughly. Sure enough, there were two new messages that hadn’t been there before. The first one read: _Let’s play a game_.

He swallowed thickly, recalling a conversation with Shiki-san that he had found so amusing then—had actually loved the idea of. He had been telling the man of a new trend that some of the Yakuza, mafia, and other underground organizations were enjoying around the world.

All of it was a knockoff of that horror film franchise  _Saw_. Sure enough, Izaya loved those movies, loved watching how the humans reacted when pushed to the extremes. How the more they struggled the worse it became for them, till they died of gruesome, mostly self-inflicted deaths.

He had even had the honor of watching one of these games from a live recording when a man who had defected from a Yakuza branch in the Kyushu region had allegedly sold out some members. His punishment was to be chained by the ankle with a saw set on his lap, across from him a ticking device that would unleash mustard gas unless the man sawed through his ankle and stopped the timer.

It was gruesome and entertaining, though Izaya had found it distasteful. He hadn't joined in on the throaty cheers that came streaming through the multiple recordings from others who were watching. 

Of course, the man had deliberated too long before anxiously sawing through half his leg when a cloud of yellow smoke erupted into the room and the recording captured the man’s last anguished choked screams. Izaya hadn’t bet on the outcome like some other people, he just watched the show.

He clicked on the next message. His phone screen went dark as a video began playing.

_“Hello, Orihara Izaya."_

The voice was altered, pitched low and disjointed. A man behind a white oni mask slowly turned towards him. Black tufts of coarse hair surrounded the face, like a lion’s mane. The mask was smiling with sharp teeth dangling out from full red lips.

“Oh?” Izaya said and pretended to get comfortable in his seat.

_“I want to play a game.”_

_“So far from what can be called of your life, you have made a living of watching others. Society calls you an informant. A snitch. A double-crossing rat...I call you unworthy of the body you possess. You have lived half your life playing games with other people. Convincing others to take the fall from your own deceit. Now it’s your turn. Now we will see if you are willing to look inward, rather than outward. To give up the one thing you rely on in order to go on living.”_

Izaya tsked. “Oh, you have to do better than that. It's practically copied verbatim from the script."

_“Attached to your neck is a collar that will inject a poison into your jugular vein two days from now. Forcibly removing the device will also trigger the poison. Somewhere on this island is the antidote.”_

His hands reached up to his neck and he felt the cool metal of the collar.

_“Live or die. Make your choice.”_

The video cut off.

Izaya stared at the glow of his cell phone screen for ten seconds before the screen blackened. The room became dark once more and he checked his chains. He twisted in his seat, following the length of metal to where it attached to the wall. He tugged on it with all of his strength to no avail.

Jeez, they sure didn't make it easy, now did they?

He flipped open his phone once more and pointed it on the ground, checking to see if there was anything by his feet. He laughed when a crude saw glinted back at him under his chair. It was the same kind that was used to saw off that man's ankle.

So whoever did this had a twisted sense of humor. Izaya could appreciate that.

He picked up the saw and dangled it in his hands. He then twisted his body around in the seat and began testing where the chains were attached to the wall. It didn’t so much as chip and it was difficult to hold the cell phone and put enough force into sawing.

Soon sweat began to bead at his hairline and Izaya wiped his brow with the back of his hand. He was thirsty and licked his bottom lip. “Just a friendly tip. If you’re smart you’d better bet your life savings and your mom’s life savings that I’m going to get out of here. Otherwise, I won’t forgive you. Think about it, right.”

Izaya went back to work methodically inspecting and sawing at any weak spots in the wall and chains. After about five minutes with his arms slightly aching, Izaya looked up at his handy work and huffed at the nonexistent progress he had made. He was about to reevaluate his options when he heard a low guttural groan.

Izaya turned back in his seat and tapped his phone light off. Quietly he listened as the man across from him straightened up and stretched, very much like an animal. The metal snapped like it was nothing.

“What the fuck?” Shizuo said. More of the chains snapped and clattered to the floor. Izaya could hear the rustle of clothes before a lighter flicked on, and then he saw a scowling face for a brief second before the man had a cigarette in his mouth.

He should have kept silent in hopes that Shizuo would leave without ever noticing him, but Izaya thought that maybe Shizuo could inadvertently break his chains for him. He snickered and watched in glee as Shizuo jumped back in surprise. “Really, the first thing you do is smoke, Shizu-chan? What if this room had been filled with a combustible gas?”

“Flea?” His voice was rougher than the metal sliding against concrete. “I thought I smelled shit. The hell is all this? Chains? Why even bother?"

“Before you come charging at me, would you believe that I’m in the same boat as you?”

“No,” the response was immediate. Izaya rolled his eyes in the dark and flicked his cell phone open so a light shined over his form.

“Do you think I’m stupid enough to chain myself to a wall anywhere near you?” Izaya said as he jingled his chains. Just in case, he gripped the saw in front of his body.

Shizuo chuckled before stepping closer. The remaining chains on his feet snapped off as he continued to walk leisurely forward. “I guess I have someone to thank then.” His knuckles cracked. “This might actually be fun.”

Izaya switched his phone off, sending them in darkness. Maybe if he were lucky, Shizuo might just impale himself on the saw. “We really don’t have time for this, Shizu-chan. Before you try to beat me up, you might want to figure out what’s going on here. You'll regret not listening to me.”

“Regret?” Shizuo scoffed and took a deep breath of his cigarette. “The only thing I'd regret is onot ever being able to kill you just once 'cause I'd rearly like to do it over and over again.” A dull light appeared at Shizuo’s hands as he took out his own cell phone and grinned. His teeth reflected like the glint of a sharp knife.

“Try not to crush your phone in rage, there might be an important message for you~!"

“Shut the fuck up, louse, I’m not falling for your shit.” Shizuo stalked closer and just as he raised his fist the collar around his neck blinked red once. Around Izaya’s own neck the same thing happened. “The fuck is this?” Shizuo's clenched fist went to the collar around his neck, and Izaya debated for a second whether to stop him or not. If for the morbid curiosity and the knowledge of whether pulling the machine off would really trigger the collar to inject him with poison or not, and if it did what kind of poison it would be.

It would be an easy solution if Shizuo just unwittingly killed himself. Izaya smiled in glee, watching with amusement the hand that was just touching the glinting metal around Shizuo's neck. He half expected that with the monster’s brute strength, that small touch alone would be enough to break the collar. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Shizuo had paused after seeing the look on Izaya's face.

“What are you smiling about? It's really creepy.” Shizuo dropped his hand and narrowed his eyes at Izaya.

“Tsk. Just check your messages,” Izaya sighed dramatically. “Before you do anything stupid.”

Shizuo looked more likely to crush his phone in rage than listen, but maybe he realized that with him being chained, then Izaya wasn't going anywhere. “Whatever this is, it’s probably your entire fault anyway,” Shizuo grumbled just as his phone beeped. “A game...?” He muttered. Soon Izaya could hear the noise of the recording.

 _“Ya~ho~o! Hello, Heiwajima _Shizuo_!”_ Whoever had made the recording for Shizuo sounded much livelier than his own video recording. Probably to piss him off.

“Tch,” Shizuo glared at his phone screen.

_“Let’s play a game.”_

_“Don’t worry the rules are simple! Somewhere on this island is an antidote, but you better hurry and find it, otherwise in two days the device around your neck will inject you with enough poison to kill fifty people! Don’t try to break this collar, Heiwajima-san! Or the game is over, and it’s bye bye~!”_

“Huh?” Shizuo muttered.

_“All your life you’ve had this incredible strength! But have you done anything good with it? How much of your city have you carelessly vandalized? How many people have you hurt with your rage and sent to the hospital? How many times have you said ‘kill’ and ‘die’? Now it’s your turn. Now we will see if you are willing to look inward, rather than outward. To give up the one thing you rely on in order to go on living. Those who don’t appreciate life don’t deserve to live! Good luck, Heiwajima-san! Remember that I’m always watching. Give us a good show!”_

The message beeped off.

“What...the hell was that? Did you come up with this crap?”

“What?” Izaya scoffed. “Please, you should have heard the drivel from my recording. Can you believe they copied the script from a movie? Ugh. I can already imagine what else they included in these _games_."

“Games?” Shizuo picked at his cigarette as he spoke. "You think this is funny? You're in on this, aren't you?"

“What? Your protozoan brain still doesn’t get it?" He said deliberately slow so the words could sink in that think skull. "This is our staged execution, unless of course we do somehow find an antidote."

“So if we don’t find the antidote in two days then we die?”

“Ding, ding, ding, congratulations you figured it out!” Izaya clapped his hands and the chains  shifted noisily.

“Hey! This is all your fault, you shitty flea! You messed with the wrong people and then dragged me in this.”

“Oh, and you think you are so innocent? It's much more likely that you pissed off the wrong man. Or maybe you trashed some CEO’s expensive Ferrari.” Izaya smirked. He enjoyed the throbbing vein on Shizuo’s forehead.

Shizuo threw the rest of his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it. “Do you have any idea who could have done this?”

“Even if I knew who was behind this, which I could figure out, it wouldn't matter. Right now that isn't important. ”

“So you’re practically useless right now.”

“Useless?" Izaya sighed loudly. "I know more about these games than you, and I know how these people think. How about you break these chains and then we can look for this antidote. That's a pretty good trade, don't you think?”

“How stupid do you think I am?” Shizuo lifted his fist, and Izaya retrieved his folding knife from his sleeve. His knife cut skin before he felt the graze of Shizuo's fist against his cheek. The chair cracked loudly as he was thrown back. Izaya still had his knife in his hand and he was prepared for more, but Shizuo was already turned away and walking over to a wall. The chair and chains rattled from the force of Shizuo breaking a hole in the wall. A cool welcoming breeze drafted in smelling of the ocean.

“What? Not going to kill me?" His cheek was smarting in pain, but he still grinned. If he wanted to, he could throw a knife at Shizuo's back, though he didn't because he didn't want to lose any of his knives. 

“Nah, I don't have to. The poison will do it after you sit there patiently for two days.” He stepped through the hole and lit another cigarette. Izaya stood up and used as much force against the chains at his wrists and ankles, bucking against the restraints in anger.

“I hope you die out there." Izaya's grin widened and he chuckled, his words were extra sweet. “It's too bad, I should have tricked you into ripping off that collar. It would have been quite the sight."

Shizuo didn’t turn around to look at him, and Izaya glared at his back. 

He slumped into his chair and breathed in deeply a few times. “Whatever, I can get out of here myself.” He tapped his foot against the concrete floor. Just as he was absentmindedly rubbing the irritated skin under his wrist, he noticed a tiny little slit in his shackle.

Izaya smirked as he searched in his coat pockets. “I’ll make sure you lose, Shizu-chan."

He would relish it too.


	2. Afloat and Turning Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shock of cold water passing over his hands did nothing to make him feel clean as someone else’s blood disappeared from his fingers.

_Clank, clank, clink._

Annoying.

_Clank, clink, clank, clank._

Why? Just why were the goddamn neighbors doing construction work in the middle of the night?

_Clink, clank, clang._

Were these people idiots? Did they want their front door to be kicked in? Because at this rate, they would be lucky if he didn’t break in their faces. He was having the best sleep of his life, and now some idiot was disturbing his peace.

The noise stopped, and Shizuo nodded his head in approval. The slight movement made him experience a rush of vertigo—like he was about to tip over head first in his bed. Which couldn’t be possible. No, he was just dreaming that he was sleeping while sitting up. His head rolled to the side meeting air.

Wait...where was his pillow?

_Clink, clank, clank._

Shizuo groaned. Thankfully the noise stopped once again. He dragged a hand over his face and offhandedly heard the slow drag of metal against concrete. He debated for a second whether he should keep his eyes closed, just so that he could pretend for a little longer that he was at home and had fallen asleep while sitting at the kitchen table. Which was an odd place to sleep, but for the sake of normalcy, he had probably been out working late that night and had been drinking heated up milk and just couldn’t bother making it to his bed or his lumpy couch.

Except for the fact that his apartment didn’t smell like shit.

Shizuo blearily opened his eyes. He immediately regretted it, especially when a haze of light illuminated the flea's grinning face. This was not how he wanted to start his morning. 

Then again, Izaya chained down and no one to stop him. It didn’t get much better than this. Shizuo chuckled, “I guess I have someone to thank then.” His knuckles cracked. “This might actually be fun.” The chains by his feet snapped off as he walked forward.

But he hadn’t smashed that cocky grin off the bastard’s face. It took him over an hour to realize his mistake as he walked alongside the shoreline. No. Like a complete dumbass, he had passed up on a perfect opportunity. A free pass to kill the flea, without any legal bullshit to deal with afterward either.

He had been distracted by whatever this game was, thinking that it would be better if Izaya was trapped there to rot on that chair, that he had forgotten something so fundamentally important: that there was no way the slimy bastard could stay in one place for two days. Even if he was chained there, he would be able to weasel his way out. Dammit, he could already be free infesting the place!

Shizuo looked behind him, narrowing his eyes in the darkness. He could just make out the imprints of his shoes in the sand, the waves lapping the shore, and the even darker silhouette of a forest to his right. Wherever he was, he doubted that he would be seeing civilization any time soon.

He had been walking for over an hour and he still was just walking next to the beach. The cellphone message did say this was an island, but how big was this damn island? How the hell was he supposed to find an antidote in two days?

Annoying! And now he didn’t even have the satisfaction of beating the shit out of Izaya. He’d kill the people who stuck him here.

Shizuo frowned and stopped from trudging in the sand. Wait...

“Huh?” he muttered. “How _did_ I get here?” He was sure the last thing that he could remember was going home after work and stopping by at a Lawson convenience store for some dango and dinner. And then...a prickling pain at the back of his neck. He tried to feel the back of his neck, but the metal device was in the way. But that wasn’t all. Because then a whole nother round of stings hit his back and arms, and just as he had turned around, his chest was littered with yellow tipped darts.

He faintly remembered swiping the darts away and seeing more hit his hand. About that time was when he was getting angry and ran into an alley. Things started to get fuzzy after that, and Shizuo furrowed his brows as he tried to remember but couldn’t. Just blurs and haze. So they tranquilized him like an animal. How cowardly. His stomach growled, reminding him of his lost dinner.

“Fuck, I never got to finish my dango,” Shizuo seethed.

He walked with his hands in his pockets and a cigarette in his mouth to ward off the hunger. He took a deep breath of smoke and coughed as something putrid wafted in the air. Shizuo covered his mouth with his hand and took out his cellphone to see whatever was there. He took a few steps closer but the smell only thickened like spoiled meat but so much worse.

The dim light from his cell phone was just enough for him to see a few feet ahead, so Shizuo took a few more steps, suppressing his gag reflex. The smoke from his cigarette helped him bear it. There was a rock part way submerged in the waves. He shined his light down, and stopped before he could step over it.

Even his eyes stung from the smell before they widened in recognition. That was no rock, but the remains of a decomposing body. What was once skin, was now an angry bloated mess of purple and grey. In some areas, stark white bones protruded out and digging in the skin were wet, white maggots. He couldn’t stop the short gasp and the subsequent inhalation of rotting flesh. Shizuo gagged and fell back in the sand. Something glinting caught his eyes, making him unable to look away.

The waves receded, exposing a grey face with unnaturally thick lips and milky eyes. Heavy blackish veins ran over swollen cheeks, and down a thick neck was the unmistakable metal of a collar. The waves surged forward and Shizuo stumbled back. He didn’t even care that his shoes were getting wet as he turned around and made it a few feet away before he retched whatever was left in his stomach.

Still he couldn’t breathe. Shizuo stood up and ran back in the direction he had come. He was shaking and coughing, and he couldn’t get the terrible smell far enough away. He collapsed into the cold sand after five minutes of running. His forehead touched the grainy surface and he gasped in the salty air.

“Aw shit. Shit!” There was a remaining bitter taste in his mouth and he tried to spit it out into the sand. It was almost a miracle that his phone hadn’t been crushed entirely, just slightly bent. His cigarette was gone, and Shizuo reached in his back pocket for a new one, but his hands were too shaky and he couldn’t get the lighter to work properly.

He gave that up and stuffed everything in his pockets before getting as far away as he could.

This wasn’t a game. No, Izaya was right, this was their staged execution.

How was he supposed to find anything on this island? And how the hell was he supposed to beat the fucking thugs who brought him here if he couldn’t see them? A vein bulged at his temple. “Arg, fuck! Fuck! FUCK!” Shizuo yelled. “The fuck am I supposed to do?”

On the horizon, the sun was beginning to rise. He sat there for a few minutes just trying to breathe normally.

The first rays of sun hit his left side, and Shizuo rubbed the back of his head, feeling particles of sand stuck to his hair. So he just needed a plan.

Ok, that much was obvious, but beyond that he had nothing. His usual plans consisted of going where he needed to and beating the shit out of whoever pissed him off the most. Which didn’t help him now.

And there was no way he was going to ask Izaya for help because that was just asking to be stabbed in the back and then being laughed at.

He could find the antidote himself, even if he had to uproot each tree in the process. He turned his head towards the looming thick expanse of trees. Trees in the dim light that were mostly unfamiliar in shape. But would they hide the antidote under a tree?

Shizuo scratched his head and frowned. Seemed like a good idea if you didn’t want anyone finding it. That was the point, right? Make it as impossible as they could.

And if he was wrong? And he never found the antidote? No, he...didn’t want to think about that. But the image still came, of his own body half submerged in the shoreline. He put his hand against the coarse bark before pushing it. There was a loud cracking noise, a whoosh, and then a ground rumbling thud as the tree fell. Shizuo checked the exposed roots and flashed his cellphone light around.

There was nothing.

Well, he didn’t expect to find it the first go, now did he? Three more trees fell, and Shizuo checked each one carefully with no success.

He was beginning to think this was a waste of time.

After he made a small clearing of trees and still nothing to show for it but his own growing frustration, Shizuo sat on one of the fallen trees. Now that he could see a little more from the sun, Shizuo knew that the island was just too big. He couldn’t see beyond the dense line of trees, and from the shore, it just extended in both directions further than he could see.

He got up and started walking in the direction he had first woken up. His muscles were taut along his arms, the pulse palpable where his fists clenched. That cut going from his wrist to his forearm had only just stopped bleeding and seeing it more clearly as the sun rose made him all the more pissed. The salt water that he had first used to clean it with began to itch. 

There was only one thing he could think of that could make this better. If he couldn’t kill the bastards who did this to him, then at least he could kill the bastard who made it a game to ruin his life. Because there was no way that Izaya was getting off this island. And that way even if he did die, at least he could go in peace knowing that the flea was dead and far away from Ikebukuro.

With this new resolve, Shizuo picked up the pace. The earlier repulsion that had made him sick was nearly completely gone, replaced by the steady flow of the word ‘kill’.

By the time Shizuo could see the little grey building with a hole in one of its walls, the sun was higher and hotter on Shizuo’s side. He didn’t have to check his phone to know that almost two hours had passed since he had last left there.

His heart was beginning to pump faster as anticipation and adrenaline fueled his last remaining steps. The rage was quick to spread and he took in a deep breath before yelling, “Iiiiiizaaaaayaaaa-kun!” He was manically smiling as he quickly found the closest thing that he could use as a weapon, which happened to be a thin long palm tree. He effortlessly ripped it from the sand and swung it over his shoulders. His footsteps were deceitfully soft on the sand as he marched over to the hole he had made earlier and stepped inside.

It was still dark inside and also strangely quiet. He waited a few harsh breaths before speaking. “Flea?” For a second he thought that Izaya had managed to worm his way out of the chains, but then he saw the lumpy dark outline of someone against the wall. He knew right away that something was off. Shizuo dropped the tree trunk on the ground: the motion sweeping up both dust and sand. “Playing dead won’t work on me,” Shizuo said with a frown before taking cautious steps closer. Izaya was too still, and it was starting to make him wonder what the hell was going on.

Now that he was closer there was the unmistakable heavy smell of blood. His eyes had adjusted better now, but still, he fumbled for his cell phone and flicked it open. The first thing he noticed was the dark puddle of blood shining under the hazy blue light. Too much blood from one body.

He hesitated, pushing back his elation and confusion.

He took in the matted dark hair and black clothes. The body was face down so Shizuo had to touch him because he still wasn’t sure. He flipped the body over, his fingers touching lukewarm blood before he saw the thick gash under where a collar began, and then seeing the blood-drenched face. It was a face he didn’t recognize. And now that he knew this, it became more obvious that this person had been slightly bigger than Izaya, older, and had no ugly ass coat.

Shizuo checked the man's thick wrist for a pulse and felt nothing. He didn't look back as he stepped out to wash the blood from his hands in the waves.

The shock of cold water passing over his hands did nothing to make him feel clean as someone else’s blood disappeared from his fingers. He should have been used to this, but for some reason it was different when it came from a dead man’s body. From someone who had done nothing to him.

He couldn't remember the last time the rage wasn't there to mask how sick this made him feel.


	3. Double Edged Blade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too soft for murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Warning- attempted sexual assault in this chapter

It had taken him minutes sitting there, dizzy with his eyes closed and a migraine forming, to finally assess the damage to his face. His cheek stung at the lightest touch. There was swelling for sure, a nasty contusion that would only grow, and yet there were no fractures or broken bones. He was lucky. In terms of Shizuo's strength, he'd gone easy on him.

He opened his eyes to try to focus. There were hairpins that he kept in one of his inside coat pockets. He reached in his pocket and began to work, but no matter how he bent or twisted them in the little square shaped keyhole, he couldn't pick the lock. It wasn't like something was wrong with his technique either because he had a talent for picking locks. No, whoever had designed these sleek metal cuffs was good.

But Izaya knew he could figure it out.

He concentrated harder and adjusted the light from his cellphone. He next tried a paper clip, but none of the manacles around his wrists or ankles clicked open. Izaya checked his phone for the time. Twenty-six minutes had passed since he had first tried to pick the locks.

He was missing something, something probably obvious. He flashed the light around his surroundings once more. But it wasn't like they would dangle a key over his head. He directed the light up, looked at the blank cement ceiling, and sighed.

Since he was being filmed, Izaya straightened up and smiled. He ignored the swelling pain at the right side of his face as he did so. "I can imagine that it must be quite boring watching someone sit in a chair for hours, maybe even days." His fingers picked at the metal around his neck. "I wonder. Have others been here before me? Someone sitting where I am now, who had been unable to get out of these same chains? Hmm? Maybe it was interesting watching him struggle, give up…beg for his life. Or maybe he tried bargaining. You know, the classic I'll give you whatever you want just let me go. I have a wife and kids yada yada, boring response. And then when his time was up I'm sure then it got maybe a little interesting. Though, watching someone get the lethal injection is rather anti-climactic. And then cut."

Izaya stood up, chains taut as he lifted both of his arms before sweeping them down in a fluid motion. "It's a good thing that I'm here then." Izaya paced in front of the wooden chair, only taking short clipped steps. He flicked the light of his cellphone on and stopped. His eyes widened as he realized something. What he had first thought of as an innocuous and uncomfortable wooden chair was actually in the likeness of an electric chair. He blinked a few times in wonder, able to both appreciate and feel unnerved by the meaning. He was also very glad that his hands and feet hadn't been bound to the arms and legs of the wooden chair. He re-examined the legs where they were bolted to the floor.

The saw had been under there, probably the only thing out of place really. He had been too quick to dismiss the saw before as a colossal joke. That it was there to cut desperate hands and feet because that would have been something interesting for Izaya to witness. But now it was so obvious, he felt a little stupid for not picking up on it sooner.

Izaya knocked his knuckles against the seat first, then moved to the arms and legs. He checked the back panels and smiled when the one vertical board that the tops of his shoulders and his head had rested against, sounded different. Feeling almost chipper, Izaya smiled as he placed his phone on the seat of the chair and picked up the saw with both hands. The little light from the hole Shizuo had made was enough to see the hazy outlines of what needed to be cut.

By the time his brow prickled with sweat and his hands were sore with the onset of calluses, Izaya had only gone five inches down. The saw blade was dull. His mouth was unpleasantly dry and there was also something sore and prickling at his back and it was becoming noticeable the more he sawed.

He silently calculated how long his phone could potentially last. He had already put it in airplane mode when he first realized that he should be saving the battery. He really wished that he had been carrying more of his phones when he had stepped out of his apartment yesterday.

It was a good thing that he had a habit of making sure that his phones were mostly fully charged. So the battery life should last him more than a week as long as he kept it in his pocket.

He was so caught up with his thoughts and the last remaining inch and a half he had left to cut, that he almost missed the way the shadows over the wall moved. He abruptly stopped sawing and turned in his seat.

For a second, he thought that Shizuo had come back. He was ready to greet him with a smile but frowned a second later. Shizuo was never one to make a quiet entrance. The man was a slender silhouette, near Izaya's own height. He was holding something long and thin in his hands.

Izaya wasn't naive enough to believe that if he was quiet this person would leave him alone, and he leaned back in his chair and smiled. "So there are more players in this game," Izaya said loud and confidently. "And I almost thought this was my own show. Now I don't feel as special."

The figure took a step closer. Izaya didn't miss the way the long object in the man's hands dragged against the cement. It glinted in the light, now clearly a metal pipe.

Izaya slipped the folding knife from out of his pocket. "So...how long have you been here? Close to day two yet?" The man steadily came closer, probably knowing that Izaya was still chained to the wall. "Well. Aren't you going to say something?" Izaya asked. The only sound from the man was the slow drag of the pipe. Izaya flicked his knife open. He had a couple more in his pockets too if needed.

The pipe rose in the air and Izaya flashed his cellphone at the man's face, just as he had done so to Shizuo, and momentarily blinded the guy's vision. Izaya realized two things at once: that this man wasn't Japanese and that the front of his shirt was stained red.

 _"Fuck_ _,"_ the man cursed and took a step back.

 _"Ah, English_ _._ " Izaya switched easily enough to English and kept the light aimed at the man's wincing eyes. He looked terrible, like he had been there weeks and not days. The smell of old sweat and of an unwashed body was making his nose wrinkle. _"_ _So now that you can understand me, how about we have a little chat before we get hasty, hmm?_ _"_ His knife glinted in the light.

The man leered as he brought the pipe up once more. It swung down and Izaya thrust his folding blade up, catching the pipe with a clang that traveled down the length of his shoulder. There was enough force for his wrist to shake and begin to strain from the effort to hold up more of the man's added weight. His other hand swapped his phone for another knife in his pocket.

Even without the light, Izaya could just imagine the wild look and bared teeth. But his focus flicked down to the man's left thigh before he swept his hand in a long arch and stabbed him there.

"Arggg," the pressure left his wrist as the man stepped back. _"_ _You little shit."_

 _"I warned you._ _"_ Izaya stood up. He was well aware that he had less than two feet before the chains restricted his movements. And what little room he did have was blocked by the bolted chair. He was essentially trapped and leashed.

A seething groan and the wet squelch of the knife being wrenched out was all the warning Izaya got before the pipe came down and caught his knife. He really hadn't been expecting such desperation. Each hit strained against his wrist and that then squeezed painfully in the cuff. He was reaching for a new folding knife when the man swung his pipe like a bat. This time his knife was wrenched out of his hand and clattered to the floor.

He had a second to respond as he saw a lifted leg, but he had nowhere to run. He jumped out of the way, but the chains caught him mid motion. A sharp kick had him thrown back into the chair. Pain jabbed him swiftly in the stomach and his head whacked against wood that broke free, forcing his head to careen back painfully.

So persistent, just like a dumb brute. Except Shizuo wouldn't fight a chained man. But that was only because he was stupid.

Izaya lifted his head. He was just in time too as the pipe was coming down towards his face. He blocked the blow with a wrist, luckily hitting the metal cuff, or otherwise, he could have seriously damaged it. He gripped the pipe in his hand.

His eyes widened when he saw the glinting metal of a sleek blade aimed once more for his head. He only had his left hand to block it and he gasped as the sharp metal slid into his palm, peeking out from the back of his hand, the blade a few inches from his left cheek.

 _"I thought I'd return the knife to you. Guess I missed your eye though_ _."_ The man pushed the folding knife deeper causing Izaya to hiss. Blood spilled from the wound, rolling down his wrist into the fur lining of his sleeve.

Izaya couldn't use his other hand that was both struggling to hold the pipe in place and straining from being pinned down. And still the man was driving the blade deeper into his palm all the way to the hilt. It was excruciating to feel the bones in his palm shift as he had to try to squeeze his hand so that his fingers could grab the blade from pushing in further while also trying to direct it away from him.

 _"I can see why they put you on this island_ _,"_ Izaya seethed. The man just grunted and Izaya's arms shook with faltering effort. He moved his legs up, ready to kick the man with both of his legs now that the knife wasn't in direct line with his face.

The knife twisted, making Izaya want to curl in on himself. But he concentrated. He looked at the face obscured in darkness. There was nothing he could do but continue to glare spitefully as a new weight was added to his legs to pin him down. The man straddled his waist and this new angle bent his wrists back and over his head as his weight leaned over him.

All at once the pressure of the knife left. From his other palm, the pipe was wrenched free. Though instead, both of his wrists were held together and pulled down by the chains.

They were breathing hard and the man's chest was inches from his face. In his mind, Izaya could recall the bloodstained shirt. _"_ _So you kill for fun_ _?"_ Izaya asked, mostly to see if he could start up a distraction.

The response came three pants later. _"_ _Nah_ _,_ " his voice was coarse like bloodied gravel. _"_ _You see, finding an antidote isn't the only way to survive on this God forsaken island._ _"_ The man tapped his own metal collar and Izaya followed that hand with narrowed eyes. _"_ _See, they don't tell you this, but each person you kill_ _,"_ he gestured with his hand slitting his own throat. _"Y_ _ou get their remaining days that they have left. So tell me, how many days do you have?"_

Izaya had witnessed this many times. When the assurance of victory was there, the mouths of the victors became loose, and boastful information was easy to come forth. It was cleaner than torture. But normally Izaya wouldn't really be caught, just pretended to be kicked.

 _"A few hours_ _,"_ Izaya smiled.

 _"Then I'm taking that, and whatever left you got._ _"_ It was subtly becoming lighter from the outside, and Izaya could just make the scruff of a tangled beard, sunken grey eyes, and a thick pointed nose. He looked to be in his late thirties, but maybe he just looked that old because of the island.

 _"How long have you been here?_ _"_ Izaya minutely tugged at his wrists, only for them to be pushed down further.

The man smirked, showing too many teeth. _"Eight days. Eight fucking_ _days that I've been on this fucking island. Shit. I think that if I kill enough that they'll just let me win."_

_"What about the antidote?"_

He laughed and Izaya felt it pass over him roughly. The chair creaked in protest. _"_ _See, that's a joke. I've never seen anything, and neither has anyone I've killed. I doubt there even is an antidote, those lying fuckers. I'm lucky that I found you first, though."_

_"Oh, and why is that, besides the obvious reason that you get to kill me?"_

Grey eyes gleamed as he came closer, and Izaya willed himself not to turn his head away as he felt heavy breaths ghost over his face, the smell close to reeking.

_"Well for one there are those who even I avoid, who will play with you while you still breathe. They think the gorier the death, the more hours they get rewarded to live. I've seen some of the bodies too. Well, the ones that float back ashore. And it isn't pretty either. Yeah, I can see that they would do far worse to someone like you."_

Izaya didn't like the way the man was scrutinizing his face or the way he was sitting on his lap for that matter. Izaya's chin was forced up by sticky fingers. _"_ _You're actually kinda pretty. In the dark, you could pass for a girl."_

He stopped from rolling his eyes and showing his disgust. He was actually disappointed. These type of men had very little taste. They were simple-minded and not at all interesting.

 _"Well,"_ Izaya said conversationally. _"_ _Hopefully they find the person who came with me. Though I'm sure Shizu-chan would end up just throwing them miles away into the ocean."_

 _"There's another_ _?"_ He looked over sharply around, pausing at the remains of the other chair.

 _"Yeah_ _,"_ Izaya smirked. _"_ _He's incredibly stupid but strong. He even made that hole in the wall_ _."_ Izaya watched as the grey eyes squinted at him further. Thick eyebrows beetled and cinched at a dirt-creased forehead. _"_ _He goes mental just at the sight of me, but I could lure him here_ _."_ Izaya tilted his chin up and smirked. _"_ _I'm sure that if you killed him, then they'd let you off of this island. He's practically the final boss. And even if that doesn't do the trick, then I'm positive I could find the antidote within a day. Either way, you could be leaving here tomorrow. So what do you say?"_

By now, the first rays of the sun were hitting against the shore. His neck was beginning to ache from the angle, but he continued to match the unrelenting stare. A toothy grin spread wide on grizzly cheeks.

 _"As tempting as your words are, I'd rather not wait for you to fuck me over. Instead_ _,"_ he paused and put a hand over Izaya's forehead.  _"_ _I think I'll just enjoy breaking your pretty little head."_

The hand pushed down, and his neck strained to hold himself up. Izaya's glaring eyes maintained contact even though he was tipping back further through the broken boards of the chair. The saw was somewhere on the floor, and as if to mock him, Izaya caught sight of the glint of metal embedded in the wood. It was undoubtedly the key to removing the chains.

The pressure grew, and he strained to breathe. His muscles ached. What could Izaya do with the man towering over him, one hand holding both his wrists down behind his head, and the other trying to break his neck? He arched his back, relieving some of the pressure on his neck, but feeling the other body disgustingly too close.

 _"Heh, I'd knew I'd have fun with you,_ _"_ the man said with a leer as he ground his hips down sharply.

It had happened once a few years back on a suicide forum where he chatted with an actual victim of rape, but while he tried to come up with his own story to talk about, he couldn't imagine something good at all and had lost interest in pretending to understand.

Even now what he only felt was annoyance.

Each sloppy dry hump and damp, hot breath ghosting over him were making him sick with disgust. He wanted to detach himself from what was happening physically to him. Soon he could hear laughter, and from the choking sensation from his throat, he realized that it was coming from his own smirking lips.

"Oh, how much fun I could have with you if I hadn't been chained," Izaya spoke in Japanese. "Just how repulsive you are makes me so happy." His choking laughter was abruptly stopped when the hand against his forehead slapped against his mouth.

_"I was gonna be gentle with you, but there's no point in that if you actually enjoy it."_

_"For all you know, maybe I like it rough_ _,_ " the words were muffled, but Izaya still smirked from under grimy fingers as he dragged his tongue slowly across the bitter surface. The taste was making him cringe, but Izaya kept it up. The pressure against his wrists and mouth let up, and he relaxed his face, allowing his gaze to soften and turn coy. This was the sort of man who became stupid at the prospect of sex.

 _"Fuck_ _,"_ the word was a guttural groan from clenched teeth, and soon two fingers were shoved in Izaya's mouth. He licked them in languid motions, trying so hard at the same time to not gag.

This man was even more of a moron if he didn't consider that Izaya could bite off his fingers. But he was sure that if he did that, then his neck really would snap. No, he had to bid for the right moment. He arched his back further, tilting his hands behind his head and grazing the front of his pants against tight jeans at the same time.

Izaya was careful not to tug at the taut chains as he used his right hand to grasp the handle of the folding knife and gently pull it from his palm. Any gasps of pain from his lips were masked as heavy, eager moans, and soon the blade was pulled out completely from his hand.

He felt how turned on the man was against his own crotch, and Izaya shivered with disgust.

Fingers left his mouth, trailing down his neck and over his torso before resting at his belt. Those wet fingers seemed to struggle with the buckle.

 _"Need a hand?_ _"_ he asked with a smirk.

 _"You're a real piece of work_ _,"_ the man said gruffly as the belt was tugged free from around Izaya's waist. But the man's own legs were in the way if he wanted to get any further.

 _"I think we're going to need to change positions too…unless you want me to do the breaking and entering_ _,"_ Izaya said with a wink. The legs straddling him tightened around his waist, and Izaya met the mixed look of lust and hesitance with an innocent flutter of his eyelashes.

The older man slowly got up with his legs still on either side of the chair. He deftly undid his own jeans with one hand, just enough so that his engorged cock stuck out, before tugging down Izaya's own pants and briefs to his mid-thighs.

Stopping the grimace from showing, Izaya instead watched the man's face carefully with a twisted smirk.

_"You're not hard."_

He was close. He couldn't back out now. _"_ _Ah! I thought the point was that I wasn't supposed to enjoy it. Then again you've barely even touched me yet, right_ _?"_ He forced a short chuckle.

A low chuckle joined his. _"_ _Oh, you'll be feeling it soon. Lift your legs up."_

Izaya smiled pleasantly enough as he tucked in his knees and fit them under and free from around the other's legs. They slowly began to uncurl and lift up towards the man's bloodstained chest. _"_ _I thought you'd never ask_ _,"_ Izaya's smirk was as sharp as a knife as he kicked the rest of the way, hitting with one leg for the man's stomach and the other his face. His leg aiming up cut short just before he made contact, and Izaya changed its course to an unsuspecting chest.

Stumbling back and letting go of the chains, the man cursed loudly.

His aim was not as good as from his left hand, but he struck the man's chest, and Izaya took pleasure in the moans of pain. From where he had seen the part of the key stuck in the wood, he pulled it out while watching the man writhe on the floor.

His left hand wouldn't work properly, but with his thumb, he somehow managed to stick the flat end of the key into the manacle of his uninjured right wrist, and the cuff beeped and clicked as it fell to the floor. He didn't have enough time to free his other hand as the crumpled figure staggered up, erection hard and bobbing.

 _"You fucking bitch_ _."_ The folding blade was pulled out from his front, aimed now at Izaya.

Izaya just pulled up his pants and reached for a new knife in his coat pocket. It was the last remaining one he had on him.

 _"I knew I shoulda just killed ya'_ _,"_ he straightened up and now Izaya could see the blood trailing with satisfaction.

 _"Right, but you thought with your dick_ _,"_ Izaya laughed. _"_ _A common human error. Almost as idiotic as following the heart."_

Dawn came, lighting more of their surroundings.

The animalistic grin spread. _"_ _But I know you're too much of a pussy to actually kill me_ _,"_ he pointed at his chest and thigh where Izaya had stabbed him, only fatal if left untreated. _"_ _And that's your lapse of judgment._ _"_ He picked up the metal pipe from the ground and lunged.

Realizing that there was a grain of truth to his words, Izaya did regret not unlocking his other wrist and ankles fast enough in order to escape.

Both a pipe and a knife were hard to evade, but the man was slower, and Izaya slashed as quick as a snake.

Still, the desperation in the man's eyes grew more frantic and rabid. Shallow cuts were streaming with fresh blood and the only reason he was relatively on par with Izaya was because Izaya only could take a few steps and had one working arm whereas he had two, wielding a knife and a pipe.

Izaya was sweating too, hair sticking to his forehead as the humidity was finally getting to him.

_"See I was right about ya', I could tell right away you're too soft for murder."_

_"You don't know a thing about me_ _,"_ Izaya gripped his folding knife tighter. 

 _"It's really easy to kill someone. I even made a living outta it._ _"_ He smiled nostalgically, too many teeth showing. _"_ _Too bad I killed the wrong person and was sent here. You see, it's the man who has the stronger will to live who always ends up winning. And I got a baby girl who needs me back home, so I'm livin' for two people."_

Izaya laughed short and choppily in response. Of course he had a daughter, probably a girlfriend too, or something equally mundane. _"Oh please, y_ _ou could never kill me because you're only human. This is your last chance to go."_

The man stepped closer, raised the metal bar. He was covered in a mess of wounds. Red splattered across the cement floor, some his and some Izaya's.

Izaya countered the pipe and blade, the clanging noises blurred in his hearing.

A tiring stretch of a minute passed. The grip he held on his knife was slipping from his sweaty palms. His grin soured, pulling down in concentration. He wouldn't be able to go on for much longer. His hands shook and a numbing haze was blanking his head again, white washing and detaching a part of him from reality as he mechanically parried blows.

If only he had gotten all of the chains off, he would be running free. If only Shizuo in his rage had unintentionally broken the chains for him. But that hadn't happened. Izaya steeled his nerves. This was about survival. Whoever had the stronger will to live. And Izaya would never die. He had a mission, a purpose beyond this. He saw an opening and took it, the dark hid his movements, softened the blow.

His mind quieted as his knife cut through skin, higher than he meant. The horror of his action caught up with him. His breath caught short in his throat as a gush of blood sprayed his face.

The man looked equally shocked as he took in a gurgling gasp and went down with a thud. An angry red line blossomed parallel to the metal collar.

Killing didn't make him any stronger. It only really did prove he was a coward.

_"Congratulations. 1 hour, 14 minutes, and 49 seconds have been added to your time. You now have 47 hours, 57 minutes, and 45 seconds remaining. Good luck."_


	4. Take Half Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This would be their last great chase. And with that, Shizuo could return to Ikebukuro a free man.

The rage wasn't a hot rush of blood pumping adrenaline and oxygen throughout his system. It was resigned: more habitual than the usual blinding chaos. Shizuo was almost in a state of calm as he ran through the jungle-like forest, following the occasional footprint, bent brush, or red droplets of blood.

He barely registered the waxy leaves fanning over his head, the unfamiliar calls of birds, or the musty, sweet damp smell in the air. Nearly all of his concentration was fixed on following the maze-like path that Izaya had gone.

Every so often he would make a wrong turn, would have to stop, taking deep breaths and retrace his steps. And then he would be off again. His fingers twitched as he instinctively knew that he was getting closer.

_Izaya killed someone._

These words were repeated in Shizuo's brain, urging him to go faster. He couldn't afford to chase Izaya around the island for days. He had to find him now. Stop him for good. Put him down. Kill him.

His rage was turning into something cold, thick and dark as if his dilated blood vessels were no longer pumping blood, but oil for the mechanical motions of limbs and streamlined muscles.

His fingers dipped into trees, splintering them down by the slightest of touches. He broke into a small clearing, hesitated for a second, before continuing to the right were the terrain began to ascend.

The humidity was worse here than in Tokyo, and Shizuo was trailing sweat down his rugged bangs. He didn't even stop as his beloved clothes caught in thorns and tore.

He was so close he could practically smell Izaya. And then it was gone, like a breath of fresh air. Shizuo stopped, his leg poised to take another step, and his lungs working hard. He turned around. His eyes scanned the ground and the trees, and then he saw a small patch of black cloth and fur lining.

The thick tree that Izaya was hiding behind was ripped from the ground, caught between two hands. Grinning, Shizuo stared down at the huddled form. Izaya hadn't moved, and Shizuo for a second thought that maybe he had been tricked. That Izaya had left his coat over a rock and fled. But the bundle moved and Shizuo’s grin widened. “Found you.” For once the flea didn't move away as Shizuo brought the tree trunk an inch away from crushing that hooded head. “I can't wait for those two days to come any faster. I should have killed you when you were chained, shouldn't have let you out of my sight.”

Izaya barely shifted as Shizuo dropped the tree. The brunt of the force fell on thin shoulders, and while it wouldn't crush him, it effectively had him pinned. There was a deep cut in the back of his hand that turned the dirt wet.

Shizuo willed himself to pick that tree up and slam it down so hard that it would delve deep enough to make a grave, especially while he had the opportunity. He didn't want to know what Izaya's problem was. He didn't even fucking care.

He picked the tree up higher so that he could be done with this shit.

He had never really expected it to be this quiet and for that he was thankful. It had always been only violence between them and in this moment, Shizuo knew he was doing the right thing. Izaya shifted on the ground like he was getting up, and Shizuo got his arms ready.

"Come on, do it.”

His arms halted above his head. He looked down as Izaya turned to face him. His eyes that were usually so devious with the glint of mockery were chillingly cold and hateful. A bruise the size of a blossoming rose was covering the side of his face. Speckles of blood were drying on his face and Shizuo knew it wasn't his. “Go ahead,” Izaya said smoothly. “And make it count this time because you're only able to kill someone once.”

"What?" Shizuo was completely dumbfounded. It must have shown on his face because the smirk on Izaya's face grew.

"You came to kill me. So do it."

"You murdered someone.”

Maybe that was the right thing to say because Izaya's eyes flashed dangerously. It was familiar, and Shizuo readied the tree for the fight that would soon erupt between them.

"I did." Izaya looked down at the ground, and Shizuo had the horrifying thought that maybe Izaya did have a conscience. After all these years and now he looked guilty. It was enough to make Shizuo livid as his fingers clenched and the bark crumpled. No. Izaya wasn't supposed to be contrite. That wasn't allowed. He was a bastard who made a living ruining lives. "And now it's your turn," Izaya's voice was flat, so different than the jeering tone he was used to.

Shizuo was struggling to breathe properly, he was getting so angry. "Stop fucking around," Shizuo yelled. The tree trunk broke in his hands and the dirt around his feet rumbled from the impact. He grabbed Izaya who was still on the ground and lifted him up by the front of his shirt. Izaya didn't quite meet his eyes, and Shizuo shook the body in front of him. "You piece of shit! You want to die? You want me to break in your face?"

Izaya shrugged. "That's your choice how you want to do it."

Shizuo dropped him, feeling equal parts disgust and anger.

"What's wrong Shizu-chan? I thought by now you'd have killed me. I even made it easy for you."

Shizuo felt his rage deep inside of him wanting to do just that. Just one well-aimed punch and he'd never have to deal with Izaya again. But fuck him! Like hell he’d do this piece of shit a favor on Izaya’s terms. With twisted mind games that Shizuo didn't want any part of.

"If you want to die so badly, do it yourself." Shizuo was already walking away, done with this shit. “You clean your own mess.”

"What?" The flea's voice was small, more like a gasp. "You're leaving? But…I won't let you! Shizuo, you're a complete dumbass, but you were right about one thing. I was the one who caused 99 percent of the bad things in Ikebukuro. You know this is the last chance you have to get rid of me. Because otherwise, when I get back home, and you're left rotting here, I'm going to make sure everyone you care about suffers."

"You're just full of bullshit," Shizuo didn't stop as he continued to walk away.

"Fine, if it's a fight you want, you barbaric monster, then here!" The knife sunk into Shizuo's left shoulder before sliding out. Shizuo turned around, seeing the Izaya he was used to - taunting smirk and sharp eyes. A new knife was pulled out. "I killed someone once, don't think I can't do it again. Maybe I should kill you first; make you regret everything in your meaningless and insignificant existence.”

"You're so fucking annoying," Shizuo spat. He walked over to a new, slimmer tree trunk and gripped it with one hand before pulling it loose. There wasn't enough room to swing it around, so Shizuo propelled it over both of their heads, knocking the trees around them to the ground.

"Did you know that anyone you kill here will add their remaining time to your own? That's why that guy tried to kill me. Look, I'm going to outlive you at this rate. Isn't that great! I’ll get to watch you die one way or another!" The smile on Izaya's face was too wide; as wide as the blade that he held.

Shizuo swung the tree towards Izaya, but the flea jumped out of the way. For a brief second, they looked at each other, before Izaya turned and ran. Shizuo, in his growing anger, threw the tree like a javelin. It arched through the air, a projectile aiming for the flea's back. It didn't look like Izaya was going to jump out of the way, and the crash was loud as the tree collided with a different tree.

"You always had terrible aim, you monster."

Shizuo wasn't the tiniest bit relieved as Izaya ran once more, and this time as he followed he didn't bother ripping out any new trees. If he was going to kill Izaya, he wanted to hear bones crack, see blood flow freely, and watch those smirking lips contort in anguish. The familiar hot rage was welcoming. He followed the flea. Pushed his muscles till they burned, and even that he welcomed. This would be their last great chase. And with that, Shizuo could return to Ikebukuro a free man.

They were going higher. Now more rocks than dirt caved under his feet. A brown cliffside was just beyond them. Izaya could have just turned in a new direction, but he didn't stop as he began to scale the rock wall. He didn't make it far, stopping not even a quarter up and hanging just by one hand. Shizuo took notice that the other was trailing blood freely. It was dripping to the ground, and the idiot was still trying to climb higher: his feet doing most of the work as his head looked around for where to climb next.

"I hope you fall," Shizuo yelled. He didn't bother to follow Izaya. There was no chance that the flea could climb that far up, maybe Izaya thought so too, as his lithe body hugged the cliff side defiantly. He must have been sixteen feet in the air and still not even halfway up.

"You don't care if I die, do you?"

"I just told you to fall, idiot."

Izaya craned his neck and began his slow climb up. The anger simmered down slightly after the run here, but Shizuo still took some bull worthy enraged breaths. He saw Izaya was still using his bloodied left hand and there were traces of blood against the brown stone. In all honesty, Shizuo could have reached the flea by now and tossed him headfirst to the ground. He was tempted to pull out a cigarette because this was proving to be a waste of time.

"Get your ass down here, flea," Shizuo yelled. "Or I'm leaving."

He watched with mild interest as Izaya's left hand gave out and he began to fall. Shizuo didn't give a shit if Izaya broke a leg or two. That wasn't his fucking problem.

Izaya did manage to break his fall with his right hand before his grip slipped and he tumbled the rest of the way down. He landed feet first but fell back and didn't move. It didn't look like Izaya was going to get up anytime soon, so Shizuo pulled out a cigarette  and his lighter and lit it to his mouth. Izaya curled up in pain. He was shaking a little, and Shizuo blew out a puff of smoke. The trembles in Izaya's shoulders grew. Then he was laughing, smiling like the piece of shit he was.

_Fucking great. Should have just dropped the tree on him._

"I take it you're not done being a fucking idiot." Shizuo blew out more smoke.

Izaya just smiled wider and laughed louder.

"Figured. I'm leaving. Wasted enough time chasing you here. Shit. I can't deal with you now.” And of course, Izaya wouldn't just let him go.

“Shizu-chan, you’ll never find that antidote. You’re too stupid, remember? You’ll die and that’s the truth.”

Even though he knew he should have kept walking, he didn't think Izaya would let him go peacefully. “That’s still much better than asking to be killed.”

"I don't want to die," Izaya said from the ground. "But there's still one thing I can't leave uncompleted."

He took another deep breath of smoke, held it in his lungs for a few seconds before letting it all out. "Yeah, and what's that?"

"I can still prove that you're a monster."

The cigarette was pulled out of his mouth, and the rage flared anew through his system.

"But you don't have to feel guilty about killing me because you won't actually be breaking me. Yes, you would have destroyed my physical body, but you won't be responsible for breaking Orihara Izaya. Because I figured it out. The only one capable of breaking me is myself. It doesn't matter what anyone does to me. If the whole world despised me, I would still be fine. If my body broke, then I could heal. But I ruined myself. I broke my own principles and lost the right to love all humans. I should have just let that guy rape and kill me. But I failed. My human instincts of self-preservation won in the end."

Shizuo let the cigarette drop to the ground. This was the exact shit that he didn't want to hear from this no good, shitty parasite. 

"I'm actually doing you a favor. You know that I purposely tried to isolate you from other humans. I paid all of those thugs to gang up on you, so that everyone could fear you. I wanted to make you an isolated and miserable creature. But even there I failed. When I die, no one is going to care. In fact, everyone will be happy, and they'll believe that I deserved whatever fate I got. But if you die, there will be humans who will actually miss you. Can you believe that? Miss you, the stupid brute, when they have me, someone who actually loves them."

Izaya laughed once more and winced in pain as he pulled himself up onto his arms. His eyes were glaring into Shizuo's, red and promising blood. "I wanted to make you into a monster! Because I know deep inside that’s all you are capable of. You're just a beast who only knows how to use violence. You shouldn't be allowed to walk amongst humans because you aren't one. And I want you to realize that there isn’t a shred of humanity in you and if you need to kill someone to know this, then so be it. I’ll be the one to awaken you to your true nature.” His smirk grew, and he didn't wait for a response. "And you want to know why I’d willingly go that far? It’s really simple. It’s because I hate you. I abhor you so much. I wish there was a strong enough word for how much I despise your existence, but it still wouldn't be enough. You blame me for ruining your life, but you ruined mine first! You never do wha—"

"I ruined your life?" Shizuo drowned out Izaya, finally finding his voice at the obscene irony of his statement. "What fucking universe are you living in, huh? I didn't send mobs after you. I didn't frame you multiple times for murder and other shit! You're the life ruiner, that's why everyone hates you!" A vein was throbbing at his forehead, making his face wild and the anger burn in his limbs. He picked up the flea from the ground by his shoulder. "Are you even listening to yourself?  _You_ were the one who provoked me from the start. Why are you even bringing this up?"

"That's where you're wrong!" Izaya didn't shy away as Shizuo lifted his fist to hit him. He was smiling cruelly once more. "Come on, hit me, you moron. I can tell you want to." Shizuo squeezed his shoulder so hard that he knew the skin and bones would bruise. "It's your fault that I killed that guy, even after I warned you from unwittingly killing yourself. Everything is your fault from the very beginning, from the moment we first met."

"Shut the fuck up, Flea. I hate people who blame others and can't take any responsibility for their own damn actions." Shizuo brought their foreheads together and he wanted nothing more than to punch Izaya till he stopped talking. He was so close to turning into the monster that Izaya so wished for. He already had enough self-loathing for what he was, a little more wouldn't amount to much.

"You hated me first the moment you saw me! I hadn't done anything to you then, and you said I pissed you off. So you take some of that high and mighty responsibility you were just spouting about and become the monster you are!"

Shizuo pushed Izaya away to arm's length, his expression twisted into something feral. "Fine, you want me to take some fucking responsibility?"

Izaya smirked at him and nodded his head, looking rather pleased.

Pathetic! This was all just so pathetic. Shizuo was half tempted to drop the flea here, walk away, and try to forget this madness. Tell him no, and watch his face twist up as he once again didn't do what Izaya wanted. It was a satisfying thought and his face turned cruel.

Shizuo didn't give a shit about Izaya. “I don't fucking care about any of that because I wasn't wrong about you. And now it’s my responsibility to take your life? I don't owe you shit. If I kill you it’s because you’re annoying, not because you want me to. And you know what?” Shizuo knew, just knew that it wouldn't end here, not if both of them were alive on this island. It was quite probable that Izaya could figure out a way to make his last two days here a living hell. Piss him off enough that Shizuo would lose it and kill him in cold blood. He needed to solve this now, even if it meant killing him. “How about I make you tell me where the antidote is? How about I beat it out of you now?”

Izaya was glaring back at him spitefully, he looked more like himself than before, and Shizuo remembered that he wasn't one to give information out easily. 

"Yeah, you could try that. Go on. Because maybe I figured out where the antidote is in these past few minutes!"

Arg! Fucking great! The flea didn't know where the antidote was yet.

A drop of blood had dried at the corner of his eye. It was the same blood that Shizuo had washed from his own hands, which he had believed that he had no part of. But if it got Izaya to cooperate with him, then maybe Shizuo's hands didn't deserve to be this clean.

The pressure on Izaya's shoulder relented, and Izaya looked disgusted and tensed as he saw Shizuo's other hand just graze his neck before cupping his cheek, the thumb just lightly going over the bruised cheekbone and smearing the mostly dried up blood there so that it stuck to his own skin.

It wouldn't be so difficult to grab his skull and smash it into the cliffside. But if he did that, he would be no closer figuring out how to beat this fucked up game. If Izaya wanted him to take responsibility for something that didn't even mean much, then all right. As long as it got him off his back. Made him stop acting like a fucking nut case.

"Ok, fuck! Fine, _fine_ ," Shizuo said. "There. Now this blood is on me too. It was half my fault for leaving you back there."

Izaya's eyes widened, he blinked a few times and his eyebrows furrowed. "That's not what I meant, Shizu-chan, and you know that. How could anyone be this stupid?" He was struggling to pull away, his face hot with anger. "You never do—"

"Yeah, well I just did, so deal with it. As if I'll ever do anything you want."

Izaya's arms fought to break out of the hold he was in. "You really are the worst. This is all your fault and I'm never going to forgive you."

"Doesn't matter. And while I'm at it, I'm sorry for saying that you pissed me off."

"No," Izaya's hands turned to fists. He probably didn't care that one of his hands was still covered in blood. "You don't get to say that. You don't even mean it. Enough, that's enough. Get off of me."

Shizuo had never before seen Izaya so pissed. But as he put an arm over his face where Shizuo had touched and wiped the skin vigorously, he looked so ill composed that Shizuo could laugh at his face if he wouldn't get stabbed for it.

"If you say anything else, I'm really going to kill you," Izaya wiped at his eye too, but the blood on his sleeves wasn't helping the mess on his face. He pulled up his hood as far as it would go.

"Whatever, you're a fucking mess."

Izaya's clenched hands were bone white and stained red. He grinned but there wasn't anything pleasant about it. "And you always only ever do whatever you want, just like a monster."


	5. Looking Inward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya knew what he wanted. A way to make it better.

He loved humans. Loved everything from the simplicity to the complexity of human nature: the inner workings he could expose, the depths that he could dig out and leave bare. He especially loved when they changed and reacted in unexpecting ways. But seeing a body laid at his feet with blood as dark as tar spilling to the edge of his shoes had never been what he wanted. He had killed a man with the blade he still held in his hand.

His shaking came from a prickling dread that shot down his spine, making him feel hot and cold all at once. His fingertips tingled strangely. He hadn't meant to.

It took him a few minutes as he unlocked the remaining cuffs. There was a body at his feet. He sat there even as he was free to go. It had been too dark to see; it had been an accident. It was survival.

He hadn’t meant to kill the man. It was a human at his feet whose blood was drying on his face. Izaya got up and retrieved the folding knives on the ground. He wiped the blood from them and put them in his pocket. He walked out slowly then took off in a run. He hadn't meant to do that. He hadn't wanted to.

He ran as if he was being chased. He ran as if there was a man alive still able to follow him. His breaths came in short pants. Ferns wracked against his legs and he stumbled over hidden roots. By the time his head was spinning too much and he was about to crash into the trees, he collapsed against a tree trunk. He let his body slide to the ground. There was something wrong with his hands. He hit his fist against the ground because it wouldn't stop shaking.

He closed his eyes and tried to breathe normally, then faltered as a staggering dizziness overcame him. He told himself that it was only from the blood loss and that was why he felt so sick. He told himself there was no longer a dead man at his feet.

How could he say that he loved all humans now? How could he love them when he had murdered one? He hated how easily humans died. It had been a flick from his wrist. He couldn’t love them any more if they were dead. Somewhere in all of his plannings and great ideas of love, he had underestimated how easily it was for his love for humans to fail. It became painfully apparent that his need to live was greater than his love for humanity. He had gone wrong somewhere. He had never anticipated killing someone he was meant to love.

How...how could he possibly love them when he murdered one? Where had he gone wrong?

Was the love he prided in and adored easily turned shallow at the cost of his own survival?He had thought his love was stronger than that. Because it had to for it to encompass all humans. But it couldn't be his fault.

He failed them. He failed the humans he was meant to adore. Why? Why couldn’t he have knocked him out? Why hadn’t he anticipated any of that? If Shizuo had just...

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he had murdered someone when Shizuo was the beast. Shizuo was a monster, not him!

The blood gushed out once more when he hit his fist against the tree. He groaned and his head spun painfully. Time passed in a blur when whirling footsteps came by him, but again he had no way to predict what Shizuo would do.

For some reason, it hurt even more when Shizuo didn’t think it worth his time. It wasn’t fair. What had he done wrong when Shizuo hadn't killed him?  
  
No matter how Izaya had taunted him, he hadn’t been able to make Shizuo’s hands red— to become corrupted by the same sin of murder. Instead, he apologized. Those words were infinitely worse than crushing bones. Shizuo hadn't even meant it.  
  
The touch on his cheek had been gentle, but the words used to placate him made Izaya feel absolute, unbearable disgust. Shizuo said that the blood was on him too, but that wasn't right. No. Words could never lessen the act of murder. There was no cathartic release from death that he had been willing to accept.

He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this horrible. There was a foreign wetness stinging the corner of his eyes, exposing more of his fallible human nature. It was weak. Humiliating. Pathetic. Degrading. All the things Izaya couldn't stand associating himself with, and he covered his face so Shizuo wouldn’t know.

Because damn him! Shizuo said it like it was easy, without any hint of real remorse. That wasn't taking responsibility. It would never be enough, and probably would be all that he would get. Shizuo would never know how those words so long ago had affected him deeply. And now Shizuo had unwittingly once again said something abhorrent.

It was wrong! Shizuo was wrong. This was crueler than all the insults they threw at each other. He felt it goading him, trying to make fun of his weakness and shove it in his face how badly he messed up. He couldn't win against Shizuo.

He felt physically and emotionally wrung too tight like a wet rag squeezed till all the moisture was forced out by unrelenting hands.  
  
Izaya tried to wipe away the remaining wetness and blood from his face. The humidity and sweat were making the blood sticky against his skin. “Are you crying?” Shizuo asked like the moron he was.

“No, you idiot! There’s blood in my eye.”

“Oh.”

He blinked away the sting and glared at Shizuo, but the man didn’t even blink. He sighed loudly before sticking out his arm. "Show me your hand."

This angered him even more. "It's fine." He stuffed his left hand in his coat pocket and flinched, hiding it as a jerky shrug as a handle of one of his folding knives grazed his skin.  
  
"No, it's not."  
  
“I’m leaving.” He huffed. The sharp pain in his palm was radiating up his arm when Shizuo grabbed his elbow. He wasn't at all gentle when he lifted his sleeve and examined the fresh wound. An inch and a half gash ran almost at the center of his palm. It looked worse than he first thought with skin swelling red, blood still dripping out, and muscles showing raw and angry. He tensed when he felt his hand turned over. The back looked no better. “Let go of me.”

Izaya’s free hand grasped the metal of a hidden knife in his sleeve.

"Can you move your fingers?"  
  
“I said let go.” Izaya frowned and knit his eyebrows. The twitch of his fingers made his arm alight with pain. "Ah!" He brought his arm to his chest.  
  
"Here."

Izaya's first impulse was to pull back when he felt the strong grip on his wrist. His other hand was grasping the handle of cool metal when he saw a black bow starting over his left wrist and more black cloth winding around his hand. "That should stop the bleeding for now till we can clean it."  
  
Izaya frowned deeply, finding Shizuo's black bow tie more disfiguring around his hand than the wound.  
  
The blood was already seeping through the black material, and he imagined whatever protozoan germs infecting him.  
  
"No, get it off!" Izaya brought out a new knife and haphazardly nicked his skin as he cut the black material. "I can take care of myself just fine."  
  
Izaya finally lifted his head up, needing to see Shizuo's face wild with rage, and instead feeling even worse as he saw a pitying stare.  
  
Izaya stepped back. This was all wrong, so completely wrong. He had to get away. Away from all of the people witness to how badly he messed up. But he couldn't really. Not while his every action was most likely being filmed, but at least he could make sure that Shizuo wouldn't find him. He started walking away. "I never want to see you again."  
  
"Goddamn it, flea. I already apologized. What more do you want?"  
  
Shizuo was following him. Far in the distance was a loud shriek. Izaya wasn't sure if it came from an animal or a human.  
  
"I want to be alone!”

"Well, that's too bad because I'm not going to leave you alone! Not till you tell me where the antidote is! Look, I was a fucking idiot to leave you before; I'm not going to do it again. I should have accepted your help, fuck, I... _shit_."  
  
Izaya slowed his pace; he held a knife tightly in his hands, poised for skin contact. Was this idiot really that stupid?

"I know you are probably going to stab me in the back for this, but I think I'll take the chance. I can't figure this shit out, otherwise... You want to get back home, right?"  
  
Izaya faltered in his steps. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to get back to Tokyo. There was no way that he could awaken Celty's head and be chosen as he was now. For the first time, Izaya didn't know what he wanted. "I don't know," Izaya said in a low breath.  
  
"What?" Izaya heard the crunch of foliage as Shizuo stepped closer.  
  
"I don't know," he repeated louder.  
  
"The fuck you talking about?"  
  
"I said I don't know!" Izaya said loud enough for anyone close by to hear, then he stopped to calm his voice. "Find the antidote yourself. I’m not staying near you for another second. And you should be happy that I’m leaving you alone because wouldn’t it be better if I stayed here? On an island filled with murders? Isn't that what you want?" A few moments passed where Shizuo didn't say anything. Izaya smiled to himself. "So why don't you leave me alone then."  
  
"That isn't what I want. Fuck, this is a waste of time. We have less than two days to find an antidote. I'm not going to waste any more time playing your mind games. You can help me find the antidote, or you can go run off. But I'm not going to chase after you anymore."  
  
Izaya didn't have to face Shizuo. The finality was there in those words.  
  
"No matter what we do, it's pointless. There is no antidote, Shizu-chan."  
  
"What?" Shizuo's words were a low growl.  
  
"You heard me. Honestly, even you could figure this out. There's enough poison around your neck to kill fifty people. Even if you found an antidote, which is unlikely first of all because we don't know what poison is in there to counter it, then it still wouldn't matter. You'd die before the antidote could do you any real good, before they could send someone here to retrieve your slowly dying body."  
  
"You don't know that for sure."  
  
"We're not meant to leave here alive, okay? Someone wanted us dead, and now they can enjoy watching us struggle to live and then die."  
  
"You're wrong. You said this was a game to them. Well, a game is boring if there is only one outcome or if it's rigged so you'd lose. You're probably the only one here smart enough to figure out how to beat their game. You could survive this hell and if I'm keeping an eye on you, I'll probably be closer to the antidote, anyway."  
  
Izaya smirked at how simple Shizuo could be. "Well if you're so sure that I can figure it out, why would I want to stick around a beast? It's in my best interests that I forget you."  
  
Shizuo groaned. "How about this? If you help me, then I promise that I won't throw anything at you for a full six months if I see you in Ikebukuro."  
  
Izaya burst into laughter. Shizuo really was a complete moron. This was great. There was something comforting in being needed, a familiar feeling of control. Like this was who he was meant to be. "Only six months? Sorry, Shizu-chan. My services don't come cheap." He turned around and enjoyed the look of discomfort facing him.  
  
"God, that sounds so wrong. A full year then."  
  
"I don't know, Shizu-chan." Izaya imagined himself sitting at his desk, playing with a chess piece in his hand, and seeing how far he could push someone till they broke. He straightened up and put on his best bored smile.  
  
"Fine, what do you want?" It seemed Shizu-chan caught on quick.  
  
He wondered how far he could push Shizuo, till he snapped.  
  
"Obviously, I want you dead! I want to watch you die. You think I want to help you? You’re truly even dumber than I could ever imagine.”

“All right, fine. I'm an idiot. That’s why I'm asking you for help. And you said you wanted to watch me die, yeah, I get that. So even if we don't find the antidote, then you'd be watching me die. So what’s your price?”

Izaya laughed hard. Did Shizuo really think he’d help him? Oh, this was priceless, really. He would absolutely relish watching Shizuo's decent to anguish and death. This...he could work with this. He could make Shizuo’s last few days hell and have fun with it. He grinned and gave his best professional look. “If I get us both out of here then you can't ever touch me with anything again. And you have to admit that you need me."  
  
The look of pure anger sent his way tickled Izaya with giddiness. Izaya smirked back. He could do this. He could be himself.  
  
"Shit. All right. I…shit, why is this so _hard_?"  
  
"Pfft, I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with your brain being the size of a grain of rice. It's only three words, even you can manage that, right? Or is everythig in there all hard skull and empty space? It's a wonder you even have the ability of speech, though it's clearly wasted on you when you could just as effectively grunt." Izaya laughed at Shizuo's increasingly dumb and angry expression. Ah! Shizuo just made it too easy.  
  
"Heh. You said I can't touch you with anything if you get us back. That means I can still beat the shit out of you now," Shizuo looked triumphant as he stalked over to Izaya, fists ready. "Who's the idiot now?"  
  
"You are. Thanks for reminding me but I change the terms. Too bad Shizu-chan, but you haven't yet fully met your agreement and said that you need me. Let's see. Now I want it so you can't do anything to me ever, and you have to refer to me as Orihara-sama."  
  
Shizuo's fists were clenched so tight that the knuckles turned white. "Fuck that shit. I already agreed to your other stupid ass demand. I'm not taking any more shit from you."  
  
"Okay, okay." Izaya waved his hand for Shizuo to continue.  
  
"I can't believe I'm doing this." He paused before speaking in a rush. "I need you. There, happy?"  
  
"Oh, very much so, thank you Shizu-chan!"  
  
"Fuck. Why does this feel like I've sold my soul?" Shizuo looked both baffled and pissed off.  
  
"Hah, you already sealed the deal with your sweet words of endearment," Izaya smirked and brought his hands together. He ignored the way his hand stung as he did so. "But if it makes you feel better, I don't think that monsters even have souls."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Only if you say it again, you know, that you need me and all."  
  
Now the vein throbbed at Shizuo's forehead. He stomped over and grabbed Izaya's wrist, the one blood still trickled from, and his eyes bore into Izaya's.  
  
Izaya just smirked back. Maybe he had gone too far with his fun.  
  
"Don't push your luck, flea." The grip tightened, and his bones protested from the pressure, irritating his palm and momentarily cutting the blood circulation there. "Because if you give me a good enough reason, I'm going to crush you dead."  
  
"I'm pretty sure that I've given you plenty good reasons already. Maybe your problem isn't that you can't control your anger, but that you hold yourself back too much. Do you know how easy it would be for you to snap my bones? Go on, try it. It might make you feel better."  
  
"You're sick." Shizuo dropped his wrist. A rush of blood came out of Izaya's palm and onto the ground between them. Shizuo looked even more pissed seeing that. He took a couple deep breaths before speaking again. "We'll find some water first so that you can clean up. All that blood on your face makes you even more disgusting to look at."  
  
Shizuo turned around and didn't check to see if Izaya was following as he stepped over low shooting weeds and pushed aside waxy leaves. Soon they made it back to the cliff side.  
  
"Hmm...You better not be thinking of tossing me up there," Izaya muttered.  
  
Shizuo looked like he was seriously considering doing such, but he shrugged his shoulders. "Nah, I'm only going to check out if I can spot anything worthwhile." He jumped high into the air, swinging up with minimal effort that would make professional rock climbers envious. It took him half of a minute to scale what was equivalent to eight stories. Izaya wouldn't admit that he was impressed because he himself was just as good, if not a little faster and more graceful.  
  
Izaya no longer saw him anymore over the ridge. After a few seconds of craning his neck, Izaya opted to instead focus on whether he could stop the bleeding in his palm. It looked like he would need a way to sew the ends together to really stop the bleeding, but finding a needle was probably not possible. He could always heat one of his knife blades and burn the skin there, but that was only if he had no options left, and Izaya really would rather not do that. He could probably wait two days and then seek professional or at least underground health care if he did manage to figure how to get out of here.  
  
Also the dull and sore pain in his back was returning. He had somewhat fallen on it when he fell from the cliffside. He used his good hand to feel along the skin to his back. He wasn't so sure, but he thought that he felt a minuscule line near his shoulder blades, adjacent to his spine.  
  
The first thing that clued Izaya of Shizuo's return was the crumbling of rocks falling to the ground. Izaya pulled his hand from his shirt and looked up as Shizuo jumped the rest of the way down, landing a good couple of meters away.  
  
"I think there's a stream over there," Shizuo pointed to their right.  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Well something was reflecting the sun," Shizuo muttered. "Also I saw other buildings like the one we woke up in."  
  
"Did you see anyone?"  
  
"Nah, don't think so. The trees are too dense." He started walking towards where he thought the water was. Izaya followed close behind. It was darker in the shade and a few degrees cooler. At first, they walked in silence, but Izaya soon got bored looking at the dense scenery. Heh, might as well start pissing Shizuo off.  
  
"Hey, do you know much about survival on uninhabited islands?"  
  
Shizuo looked back at him with an annoyed frown. He returned his gaze forward as he spoke. "Well, I did watch that one movie. Y'know the one with the volleyball."  
  
" _Cast Away_. And do you actually remember anything useful from that?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Hmm…" Shizuo took a few contemplative moments before speaking. "Make sure you go to the dentist before you get on a plane? And don't leave your flashlight on all night. Oh, and talking to volleyballs is a good way to stay sane."  
  
Izaya put a hand over his mouth to stifle some of the laughter. "I'll be sure to keep an eye open for a volleyball for you, Shizu-chan. So Wilson will keep you sane."  
  
"Wilson?"  
  
"You know the volleyball's name."  
  
"Oh right, Will-san. Yeah, that might be good. If I stick around you too much, I might catch your brand of crazy."  
  
"Hah. And I might just lose all of my brain cells, and I'm sure even then I'd be a hundred times smarter than you."  
  
"Not if I smash your skull in."  
  
"I don't know Shizu-chan. I would still be smarter than you even with my brain matter scattered all over the place, so don't get your hopes up too high."  
  
Shizuo ripped out a few trees that were in his way. The bark had chunks missing. "Can you just learn to shut up? Do the whole world a favor and stop speaking."  
  
Izaya lifted one of his eyebrows, ready to annoy Shizuo further when he heard the sound of water trickling. "I think I hear it."  
  
Shizuo didn't respond. He leaped through the low brush, taking down a few trees with him. Izaya followed him.  
  
There was a stream just about ankle deep and an arm span wide. Sunlight was scintillating off of it in pretty shapes. What was even better was that it looked fairly clean and wasn't stagnant. Izaya was just about ready to dip his hands in when he heard Shizuo step behind him.

"Don't drink the water," Shizuo pushed him away from the stream, knocking him so that he had to catch himself with his hands. His left palm throbbed in pain.  
  
"Shizu-chan, don't you know it's rude to push people."  
  
"Smells like shit."  
  
"Great. Remind me if I ever smell shit anywhere to push you down, preferably so that you land in it."  
  
"Shhh." He pointed upstream and they began to walk in that direction. Izaya sniffed the air delicately, but couldn't really identify anything that smelled like shit. If anything, he smelled bitter almonds and something earthy, like copper or iron.  
  
After about twenty-five steps later he wrinkled his nose. The air was stuffier, sour even. He covered his nose with part of his jacket as they stepped closer. He couldn't tear his eyes away when he saw the body lying face down in the stream.  
  
"You think he died from drinking the water?" Shizuo asked.  
  
"No. Someone deliberately put him there to poison the water downstream. Looks pretty new, too. Maybe two days old. Think you can move it?"  
  
Shizuo gave him a look of pure disgust.  
  
"Prod him out with a tree then."  
  
He held his nose as he broke off a nearby slender tree and none too gently pushed the corpse out of the water. The wet body rolled twice, limbs twisting painfully till it stopped with a tiny wet splat. Izaya examined the face carefully. The skin held a bluish hue, and Izaya couldn't be all too certain if that was from the poison or from the water exposure. What was out of place were the still livid red spots on the man's face, the deliberate purple skin broken from bruising, and a strange fruity perfume wafted in the humid air.  
  
"I don't think we should be smelling this," Izaya said from behind his coat. If the poison had been inhaled, then its presence could still be potent. "But can you maybe rip off the metal collar around his neck? I think it'd help us figure things out."  
  
"No way. I'm not touching that." His voice sounded funny by the way that he was holding his nose.  
  
"Shizu-chan, do it. It could help us get out of here."  
  
"Absolutely not."  
  
"You don't even have to touch it, just this," Izaya pointed at the metal resting around his neck. "Come on, I want to get away from here."  
  
Shizuo glared at Izaya, and he returned the stare evenly. "I don't want to."  
  
"I don't care if you want to or not. Go over there and do it." Shizuo shook his head. "I'll even go with you." Shizuo still looked reluctant, but he cursed and took small steps forward with his fists clenched and his head trying to point away from the smell and sight. They both took a wide step over the stream and followed the wet trail the body had made.  
  
From here, Izaya saw where the needle had punctured into the inflamed skin. It had gone into the side of the man's neck and left a deep looking hole there.   
  
Shizuo deliberated one last second before he crouched closer and with just the tips of his fingers of both hands, he began to pull in opposite directions. Nothing happened at first. Izaya watched closely as Shizuo struggled to break the metal. He dipped his fingers in, just brushing wet skin, and looked to be using more force than necessarily. It took longer than Izaya had expected, a full ten seconds before the collar cracked. Shizuo stumbled back, almost crashing into Izaya. If Izaya didn't have cat-like reflexes he probably would have fallen back into the stream, right where the body made a home for the last few days.  
  
They both went upstream and when they were far enough and the smell was long gone, Shizuo pushed the broken metal into Izaya's hand and bent down to scrub his hands in the water.  
  
"Disgusting. Gross. Ugh. I fucking touched it. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting! Second time in two hours. Hate this. Disgusting."  
  
Izaya for his part examined the collar. He felt along the grooves where the metal gave way from Shizuo's forceful treatment. Whatever material they used was strong enough to hold Shizuo back for a few long seconds. But that could have been because he was using just his fingertips.  
  
The metal was smooth and polished shiny on both ends. It was broken in one place, so it was still able to come into the shape of a circle since the hinges were intact. Wires were visible from the broken ends, and Izaya carefully pulled on them. Only one came loose, and Izaya didn't think it was one of the more important ones either. He felt along the smooth metal edges. Right at the jagged broken end, he felt just the slightest of indents. He flipped the metal over and just his pinkie nail in width was a small little indent. Unsurprisingly, where the metal gave way was where it opened and closed. Izaya felt along his own collar, first the top then the bottom, and right at where the metal rested against his spine, he grazed over the barely noticeable change. That was it! Just like before. It was—  
  
"Did you figure anything out?" Shizuo grumbled as he shook water droplets from his hands.  
  
"It's incredibly well made," Izaya said. "And each is probably a heavy paycheck to make. The metal is too strong to look inside the wiring though. It could hint at which poison it contains, but if you did break it apart, you might accidentally stab yourself with the needle. And there could still be traces of the poison inside. Do you want to look at it?"  
  
"No," Shizuo grimaced. "And clean up your face dammit. I'm going to have nightmares of it."  
  
"Jeez, how sickeningly sweet of you Shizu-chan. I hope I kill you in your dreams."  
  
Shizuo grabbed the edge of Izaya's coat, jerking down, and making Izaya lose his balance momentarily. His shins hit the water first, then the broken metal, and finally his hands. He was more shocked than hurt. His pants and coat sleeves were soaking up water, and the crisp coldness was both painful and a balm against his swelling left palm. The blood oozed and mixed with the current almost prettily.  
  
And then he got annoyed. "Would you stop pushing me around!" Izaya tried to knock Shizuo back with his good hand, but of course the man was unmovable. Izaya lost his balance this time falling back. He jumped out of the water a second later, water dripping from his coat and the seat of his pants. "My phone, you idiot!"  
  
He pulled it out from his pants pocket. He didn't always bother with waterproof cases, finding them cumbersome and not as fun to play on the screens with. Now his phone was obviously wet, possibly dead. Shizuo plucked the device out of his hand and wiped it on the front of his shirt. He touched the screen and it lit up, seemingly still working.  
  
"There, good as new."  
  
Izaya just stopped himself from rolling his eyes. He cupped some water in one hand and brought it to his face. Repeating the action, he felt better as the stickiness came off. He was a little wary to drink any water, now that he knew that somebody had put a dead body there. There could be more. The problem was that the chloroform had irritated his throat, making his airway feel scratchy and dry.  
  
Maybe if they went further upstream it would be cleaner.  
  
"I almost forgot. I think I might have some Super Glue left in these pants."  
  
"Super Glue?" Izaya asked.  
  
"For your hand." Shizuo rummaged through his pockets. He pulled out a generic black wallet from his right front pocket. Further inside was a small green tube of Super Glue.  
  
"You carry Super Glue with you? Heh…" Izaya leaned forward with a slant of a smirk.  
  
Shizuo had a defensive look. "Not always. I just don't like to bother Shinra for everything. It's quick and cheap."  
  
"I doubt Super Glue is going to cut it for my hand. I don't have monster skin." He lifted both of his arms up and the heavy wet sleeves gathered at his elbows.  
  
Shizuo eyed where the red was stark against pale otherwise unblemished skin. "It's not going to heal properly on its own. We'll wait for the blood to let up."  
  
"Yeah, as long as you stop pushing me on the ground, then it'll stop."  
  
"Would have stopped by now if you kept the fucking bow tie on, dumbass."  
  
Izaya had a million reasons why Shizuo was a protozoan idiot. He could probably write an entire book of just how absurd a creature he was. And what he just said made it a million and one. If Shizuo couldn't figure it out himself, that was his fault.  
  
Izaya's eyes widened and then a sharp edge returned to his gaze.  
  
The sound of the stream trickling by filled in the momentary silence.  
  
That's right. Shizu-chan was too stupid to figure it out. That wasn't Izaya's problem.  
  
Because it was simple and almost obvious. He recalled the recording on his cell phone. _Now we will see if you are willing to look inward, rather than outward._ It was just like finding that key in the chair.  
  
All he had to do was check if Shizuo had the same mark. Everything would make sense if he did.  
  
"Hey, want me to Super Glue your back?"  
  
Shizuo frowned then it dawned on him. "Oh right. You threw a knife at me. Shit, my shirt." Shizuo glared at Izaya as he rolled his shoulders. "Whatever, it'll heal without."  
  
Izaya tried to keep his expression as neutral and uninterested as possible. "It's bleeding a lot actually…" Which wasn't exactly true, since the bleeding had long since stopped. But there was a noticeable amount seeped in with the black of his clothes.  
  
Shizuo's expression screwed up with distaste as if he was imagining all the terrible things that could happen. His fingers were still wet as he took off his vest first, seeing just how much blood there actually was. He didn't look happy as he looked back at Izaya. "Fine. Make it quick," he said. He passed the little green tube over. "But I swear if you so much as breathe on me funny—"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, wouldn't dream of it."  
  
Shizuo carefully unfastened the buttons of his collared shirt and shrugged it off. Underneath that was a thin white shirt. He pulled that over his head unceremoniously and turned around to sit on a flat rock by the stream. Momentarily, Izaya was taken aback. Sometimes he forgot how thin Shizuo actually was. His eyes flicked over his shoulder blades.  
  
He didn't look at the wound on Shizuo's back, but instead, he found a thin raised red line that he had been hoping for. Izaya smirked as he unscrewed the red cap off, and Shizuo sat unaware. It really was all Shizuo's fault.  
  
Izaya knew what he wanted. A way to make it better.  
  
He smeared a line of clear glue over the wound, careful not to touch skin.  
  
"There," Izaya said softly. "Good as new."  
  
He knew the perfect way to make Shizuo pay.


	6. Soulless Eyes and a Bloodied Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the flea was right. Maybe expired condoms broke too easily.

He should have just said no.

All the muscles from his back to his clenched fists were tense as glue was applied to his torn skin. Already the heat passed over his skin as it fastened together, but what got him on edge was the just barely there cool fingers.

Something was intrinsically wrong with the situation. His instincts had been conditioned to expect knife points and caustic insults from Izaya. Not this. How much more of a dumbass could he be if he was letting Izaya stand behind him with his skin bare and ready to be carved into? No wonder Izaya hadn't wanted his help before. This was all kinds of wrong.

"There, good as new," Izaya said with a soft lilt.

Shizuo's muscles relaxed as he unclenched his fists, but strained once more as he could sense, more than feel, Izaya leaning towards him.

He was right by the side of his head, and Shizuo couldn't lean far enough away.

"I bet you didn't feel me lick your ear," Izaya whispered.

Shizuo shivered.

He didn't.

No. He. Did. Not. Just. Say. That.

He shot up and spun around, wiping furiously at the ear that Izaya had whispered in. Izaya had already put four feet of distance between them. A smirk grew on his face.

The blood was rushing to his face and his ears felt like they would burn and shrivel from his head. He was probably infected now. Cursed. Diseased.

"I thought I said if you so much as breathed on me funny, I'd—"

"Hahaha. Well, I licked you funny."

"I'm…I'm going to KILL YOU, IIIIIIZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"Shhhhh," Izaya brought a finger to his lips. "You're going to alert everyone on this island our way."

"YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!" Shizuo took a step forward. The water by their feet rippled from the force.

"I didn't actually lick you, Shizu-chan," Izaya shrugged his shoulders. He wisely took a few steps back. "That would be disgusting."

Shizuo's face scowled even more. "YOU! You…..I can't believe you."

"Why do you look so disappointed? Oh, did you want me to lick you?"

"IIIIIIZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAA!"

"Hah! Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHA."

Shizuo stomped forward. Izaya threw something at him and began running, his laughter still as strong. Shizuo caught the green little tube. He was about to crush it in his anger, but having done so in the past taught him that he didn't want to have to pry the skin at his fists apart. He stuck it in his pocket.

"I HATE YOU, YOU DISGUSTING FLEA!" Shizuo made a slight detour as he ripped out a tree. "DIE!" He threw the tree. It missed right as Izaya spun away, crashing with a splintering bang.

Izaya waved and twirled his fingers. Shizuo chased after him, pebbles and dirt flying as the rage set him faster. Urging him to catch and maim.

He didn't expect for Izaya to stop suddenly. He stopped short of crashing into the flea. "What the—"

A man the size of a bear was only a few meters away, looking down at them. He was bigger than Simon, bigger than anyone Shizuo had ever seen walking the streets of Tokyo. The man had a silver beard and black thick eyebrows. The short cropped hair atop his head looked more like black weeds. His skin was red and freckled from sun exposure. In his hands was a handmade ax, a sharped rock serving as the blade.

" _Two little birds came my way. Heh heh heh. He who is brave eats two_." He spoke in Russian. But that was as much as Shizuo could understand.

Behind him, the stream turned into a pool that was fed by a small waterfall.

" _This guy here might be more than you can chew. He's a monster in human's clothing_." Izaya spoke back.

" _Oh, you speak Russian! What blessing. Everyone else has only squealed when I've picked them apart. Maybe you'll prove to be more fun_."

Izaya laughed.

"What's going on?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya just ignored him. " _That's very good, because Shizu-chan, this guy here, is very hard to break. If you make him angry he'll send you flying_."

"Hey! You used that stupid nickname!"

" _What? This twig? Bah! My ex-wife has ten times the muscles than him_. " The man doubled over in laughter, pointing at Shizuo. " _He's prettier than her too_."

"What the hell are you telling him?" He didn't like the way the man was leering at him. Like he was appraising him.

"You're not going to like this. He says you're so slender and pretty he wants to make you his wife."

"What the fuck?!" Shizuo had half a mind to cover his still bare chest. But he was almost sure Izaya had to be lying. He wasn't pretty, dammit. If anything, Izaya had gotten it wrong, and _he_  was the pretty one. Wait, fuck he didn't just think... Fuck no.

"Hahaha. I know weird right?" Izaya smiled.

"He did  _not_  say that. Your Russian must be shit. Tell him we're just passing through."

"So rude, even after I translated for you, Shizu-chan. I'm fluent in Russian. I'm trying to scare him away, but I don't think he believes me that you're super scary."

"Heh heh heh." The man stalked closer. " _My name is Jakow_ _Rokossovsky_ _,_ _back home they call me Jason. I don't know why they do, but it has nice ring to it. I have killed eleven people since arriving on this lovely island paradise. You two will make thirteen. Lucky number, no_?"

"His name is Jakow and he's killed eleven people here. He wants to kill us," Izaya said.

"Damn, what a pain."

Shizuo eyed the fast approaching man. He took a few steps forward and as the huge ax came swinging down, Shizuo caught the rock blade in his right hand. With added pressure, it cracked under his fingers. Jakow stumbled back, bewildered. Then he bellowed in laughter.

" _Heh. I like you. You remind me of mother. And you know what they say, 'For some people war is war, for others - dear mother'_."

"Oh, this is bad, Shizu-chan. Very bad."

"I don't want to know." The wood of the broken handle broke in pieces as Shizuo grabbed that next.

"He's really enamored by you. He says you'll make a fine mother."

The rage surged through him. He turned around to face Izaya. "If you say one more word, I'm going to glue your head to your ass!"

Izaya covered his mouth and pointed behind Shizuo.

Two large hands gripped his biceps and Shizuo was lifted from the ground. People have tried lifting him. None have managed to throw him. But before Shizuo could power his way out of those huge calloused hands, he was thrown very hard.

So this was what people felt as he tossed them into the air—a sense of weightlessness and a rush of vertigo.

He heard the shitty flea laughing.

His back hit a solid wall and cold water soaked his pants and hair. He grabbed the rock ledge before he could fall into the pool of water below. His sunglasses were askew on his face, but thankfully not broken.

Shizuo slicked back the wet hair from his eyes and watched as Izaya dodged those fast hands. Damn him. Maybe he should just stay up there and let the flea take care of this.

They were speaking in Russian. Izaya dodged without attacking. It would be taking all day at this rate. Shizuo jumped down, landing on grass and dirt. He shook the water from his hair, but not much could be done about his wet pants.

He rolled his shoulder as he walked closer. Izaya caught his eye and smiled. "We missed you, Shizu-chan."

Jakow was looking between the two, but Izaya spoke and gestured his way. " _Go ahead and try to kill Shizu-chan. I doubt you could_."

Smiling, Jakow turned to Shizuo.

"I told him you can fight first."

Jeez, what an ass.

Jakow charged and Shizuo caught his fists, not moving an inch. The force was like stopping a speeding car, easy enough for him. Shizuo grinned as he met those dark eyes. "I'll return the favor then," he said, even though he knew the man wouldn't understand. He gripped those fists hard in his hands and began to lift and simultaneously turn. The man was heavy, but Shizuo had lifted much heavier things. Jakow was no longer smiling as he was lifted and forcibly began to spin midair. The scenery blurred around them and occasionally he caught Izaya's sharp grin. Then Shizuo let go and the man was airborne, going over trees and soon out of sight. The crash of trees was far enough away, and he doubted this Jakow fellow wanted a second go.

"That was wonderful," Izaya said. He seemed to be amused by the small puddle accumulating by Shizuo's wet shoes. Shizuo didn't even have a change of clothes.

"Ah, shit! I forgot my shirt." Shizuo muttered. It wasn't that far back, but he was torn between retrieving it and beating up the little shit in front of him. But his shirt was more important. "I'll be right back."

"Hurry up! Jakow might come back looking for you~!"

Shizuo followed the stream down. He passed the tree trunk split down the middle and partly embedded in the ground. He ran at a slow jog, his pants and shoes flicking water. He didn't see the white or black clothes of the top part of his bartender uniform. It couldn't be much further than this. He passed the rock he was sure that he had been sitting on when Izaya had treated his back. But his clothes weren't there. He was sure that he put them right where he was standing. He went a little further down the stream, thinking that maybe they fell in the stream.

He ran harder. The further he went the more it became apparent that someone had stolen his shirt. Some unlucky fucker stole the precious clothes his brother gave him. Someone was going to be dead.

"WHO TOOK MY SHIRT?! HUH? WHERE ARE YOU, ASSHOLE?" He spun in a circle. "IF YOU COME OUT NOW I'LL ONLY MAKE YOU BLEED!"

He only heard his heavy breathing. "FUCK!" Shizuo shouted.

He was still seething when he returned to the small waterfall. He looked around but couldn't see Izaya. Izaya couldn't have stolen his clothes. No. His shirts had been in front of him when he was sitting down and the entire time Izaya had been behind him. "Izaya?" He yelled. Did he run off?

"Up here." Izaya waved from over the edge of the waterfall.

Shizuo wasted no time scaling up the rock wall that water wasn't surging by. He lifted himself over the ledge.

"So I overheard," Izaya looked like he was fighting to keep a straight face. "Guess that means you're going to be half-naked the rest of your trip here."

"Don't talk to me. Fuck, I need a cigarette." Shizuo was so glad that he kept his pack in his pants pockets. But he nearly flew into a new rage when he discovered that his pack was crushed and wet. He'd have to wait for them to air dry. He pulled out his phone next and it was cracked. He flipped it open finding it dead. He took a deep breath.

"What is that?!" Shizuo looked over at Izaya who looked absolutely offended. He was pointing at Shizuo's phone.

"Huh?" Shizuo was momentarily distracted from his anger.

"That…disgusting  _creature_  on your phone."

Izaya was pointing at his little keychain. A small red cat with a yellow belt and two tails tipped with blue flames was hanging from his phone.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Its…eyes." Izaya's face was still scrunched up in disgust.

"Ok…?"

"They're ugly."

Shizuo snorted. "It's cute, dumbass."

"It has fish eyes. Explain to me how that is in anyway cute?" Izaya shook his head. "I can't believe you have a Jibanyan keychain. There's something wrong with you."

"I found it on the ground. It looked cute."

"There was a reason it was on the ground, Shizu-chan. Put it away, I can't stand looking at it." Izaya looked incredibly bothered by the harmless keychain. He wondered if this was one of Izaya's weaknesses.

"Nah, I think I'll leave it out." He unclasped it from his phone and set it down facing them.

Izaya's frown grew. "You're such a protozoan."

"Whatever." Shizuo rolled up the bottom of his pants and took off his shoes and socks so that everything could dry faster. "So what are we going to do now?" Izaya was looking down the waterfall.

"Dry off. Jakow hasn't come back so we should be fine for now. And while we do that we could look over our supplies. Maybe we have something useful."

"I have my lighter and you have knives. That's about it."

Izaya went through his front pockets, slipping out two folded up knives. He took out his wallet from his back pocket. His expensive looking smart phone was gently placed on top of that. From inside of his coat came paper clips and bobby pins. He didn't particularly want to know why the flea had hair accessories on him.  "I like to travel light. Your turn."

Shizuo huffed in annoyance, but he stuck his hands in his pockets. Already his broken cell phone and pack of cigarettes were out. He pulled out his own wallet, the green tube of Super Glue, his lighter, keys, and a candy wrapper.

Izaya grabbed his wallet and Shizuo bristled in anger. "Hey, don't go looking through my stuff."

"Look through mine then," Izaya passed over his more expensive leather wallet.

Shizuo didn't want to look inside. It was probably loaded with cash and maybe had a few traps or something. It would only piss him off. But watching the flea pull out his two 1000 yen bills, and then rummage through his cards was pissing him off too.

"A~hah!" Izaya grinned as he pulled out a shiny square from one of the inside slots. "Look what I found." He flipped it over in his right hand and his eyes were practically shining. "It's extra-large and what's this! Expired!"

"Condoms don't expire." He always carried one in his wallet even if he never got the chance to use it.

"Well, this one did, and over two years ago. Hmm…was that around the last time you got laid?"

"It's none of your business."

"I always assumed that you were a virgin," Izaya smirked.

"Well, I'm not so shut up."

Izaya pouted a little, but his smirk returned. "But this is great. You know all the fun things  _we_  could do with this?"

Shizuo glared at Izaya. And continued to glare as the flea smirked wider.

"What?" Shizuo's voice was low and dangerous. "What could _we_ do with it, Izaya?"

"For starters, we could use it to hold water."

"I'm not drinking from a goddamn condom." 

"Well…I do have another idea…but I'm not sure if you're going to like it." 

"Really, whatever gives you that impression?" Shizuo asked, his frown deepening.

The foil wrapping crinkled in the flea's hand. "Well, because that's the fun part I was talking about..." His smirk grew. "I really can't hold back anymore." He opened the condom with his teeth. "Alright, turn around and don't look."

"The fuck? What the actual fuck?" Shizuo was getting angry, his face turning red from the rush of blood.

"No Shizu-chan, it's not the _actual_ fuck," Izaya said those words with obvious disgust. "What dirty, _dirty_ things are you thinking about? Fine, I'll turn around, but you close your eyes."

Izaya did turn around, and Shizuo kept his eyes distrustfully open. He was doing something, but Shizuo couldn't see what.

"Alright, done." The flea said a minute later.

Izaya turned around and held it out. At first, Shizuo didn't know what he was looking at. It was the condom alright, tied at the bottom and filled with water to maintain an erect shape. A crooked smiley face was painted on with Izaya's blood. It was one of the most disturbing things he had ever seen.

"It's Willy-san. You know, so you don't go insane. He can be your boyfriend and it would be the greatest love story ever. And you have to be extra careful with him so you don't break him with your monstrous strength as a testament of true love, of course. He's really fragile, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo couldn't help it. He laughed.

"That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen."

"That's so rude. You're offending Willy-san! You're terrible at first impressions!" Izaya held the condom thing close to his chest like he was cradling it. "I'm going to redraw a frown on him!" Izaya moved his left palm over the face, smearing blood there. It looked demonic and even uglier. "Now he hates you!"

"Good. I would have broken him immediately. And you never drew ears on him so it's not like he can hear us, anyway."

"Shizu-chan, it's a condom. Of course he doesn't have ears, but he has feelings! Which you carelessly broke."

Shizuo rolled his eyes. He couldn't understand why they were still doing this. With a condom for fuck's sake. "Jeez. Okay. Fine, he's not that…ugly."

"Better. But I'm going to draw angry eyebrows on him if you don't apologize."

"This is stupid." Izaya was now trying to carefully apply eyebrows on Willy-san. Great. He was going to make it even more hideous. He really didn't want nightmares of this. "Ok. Ok. I'm sorry…Willy-san. You're really…erm…cute?"

"Hahaha! Shizu-chan thinks condoms with faces are cute! You're in love with a condom! My life's work is complete!"

"I hate you."

"As long as you love Willy-san, I don't care about anything else. Here, you can have him." Izaya shoved the water-filled condom in his hands. Unsurprisingly, it popped when he held it. The worst part was that it got the front of his pants even wetter.

"Awe. You really broke him. But I guess I did you a favor. You should never use expired condoms. What if Willy-san had broken while you were using him? You can't be allowed to procreate."

"Heh. Y'know what I could still do with this?"

"What?" Izaya smirked.

"I could still strangle you with it!"

He almost did, except it broke in two. Maybe the flea was right. Maybe expired condoms broke too easily.

"Whatever, flea. When we get back home, the first thing I'm going to do is buy a new condom and fucking choke you with it." Izaya's eyes widened and Shizuo frowned.

"AHAHAHAHA," Izaya's shoulder's shook as he laughed and he wheezed as he spoke. "Wow, Shizu-chan…! I didn't know you were so kinky,"  _Wheeze_. "…Or that you felt that way about me."

Shizuo's face flushed red as he realized the dumb as shit thing he had just said. Fuck!

He pushed Izaya down and felt better that the flea almost went over the waterfall.


	7. The Poison Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was done in by a simple compound of carbon, hydrogen, and chlorine. Can you guess what is was?"

Orihara Izaya always believed his love to be of a purer kind, his love for humans that is.

Unconditional in that his humans didn't have to do anything to deserve his love; equal in that no matter how disgusting or brilliant his humans acted, he cherished and accepted them all.

His love was on a grander scale, encompassing all the humans he could possibly observe. He loved all aspects of human nature and he loved nothing more than to witness the change in them or expose humans for whatever their true nature was.

And integral as all of his other ideas on love was that it was not limited to any one individual.

Quite simply, the Izaya who loved all humans could never love any one individual. He could never single out one such human to show his undivided attention because then he would no longer be an observer. Such an act only violated his grand sense of love. 

He was undoubtedly human as well, and yet he never included himself with the 'humans' he loved.

That is, till he broke his own principles.

He was a human through and through, a human with desires and impulses, a human who sinned. He could still observe his humans with love, Izaya was sure of that, but he could never separate himself from them; never separate himself from the murder he had committed either.

If only his love could expand to his own vile act, then maybe he could forgive and forget. But that was still impossible.

He wondered what else had changed about him.

His hatred for Shizuo was still as strong as ever, but it could only truly stay that way as long as Shizuo embraced his monstrous side. Izaya still hoped that at some point on this island, something could turn Shizuo forever into a beast. And if all else failed, then at least Shizuo would die cursing Izaya. There would be no peace for this monster.

Izaya thought of what to do with Shizuo while he was still soaking wet, dripping water from his hair, and looking very much like what Shizuo had called him—a sewer rat. His coat was now hanging on a low branch, but Izaya stubbornly kept the rest of his drenched clothes on, even if the humidity would take his clothes much longer to dry on his back. The thought of sitting mostly naked next to Shizuo, who was equally half-naked, wasn't something he wanted to imagine, ever, in his life. In any context. Ever.

Izaya ran a hand through his wet hair. Shizuo hadn't said anything in the last ten minutes, but that was to be expected because blatantly the brute was too stupid to strike up an intelligent conversation. Izaya was tearing at the grass, blade by blade, and then he got bored.

"So how did they manage to catch you?" Izaya asked.

Shizuo rested in the grass on his back, one of his arms cushioning his head and his eyes closed. "Hmm? Oh yeah, that. Darts."

Izaya snorted.

It was fitting for an animal, but at the same time too clean. Too anticlimactic. He could imagine the beast prowling the streets and then being tranquilized to the ground. But did they use horse tranquilizers? No, probably something more along the lines for an elephant. Unless they made something special just for Shizu-chan. 

"You?" Shizuo didn't bother opening his eyes. The sunlight streaming through the leaves overhead danced across his features.

Izaya didn't want to admit that he had been tricked. Well, Shizuo wasn't exactly asking for the details. "I was done in by a simple compound of carbon, hydrogen, and chlorine. Can you guess what it was?" Izaya asked.

Shizuo frowned, but then he stretched his long arms. "Pesticides." He finally said.

Izaya scoffed. "Very funny, Shizu-chan."

"Wasn't being funny."

Izaya almost took pity. "The correct answer is chloroform. But I do wonder what kind of poison they put in these devices," Izaya lightly touched the metal at his neck. He was sure that whatever was in Shizuo's collar was decidedly worse than what was in his own. It gave him some sort of consolation.

"I bet rat poison is in yours," Shizuo muttered.

"Wow, how terribly creative of you," Izaya smirked. "But if I had to choose for you, I would pick something in line with radium. You see it's perfect for many reasons. It acts similar to how calcium is processed by the body, but instead of strengthening the mineral content of the bones, radium does the opposite. It fires off alpha radiation, making tiny holes in the bones, which steadily becomes larger and larger." Izaya's smirk grew as he fixed his eyes on Shizuo. "It irradiates the blood-forming marrow in the bones center and nothing can remove it. Well, that is till it burns itself out, but that would take quite a long time, I would say. The half-life is 16 hundred years. The best part would be when the bones begin to rot and crumble away. Hmm, what would hold up longer, your bones or the radium poisoning you? Now that would be a curious thing to witness."

There was a moment of silence, and then Shizuo craned his head to glare at Izaya. "It seems like you put a lot of thought into that…" Shizuo scowled.

"Oh don't worry, I've never poisoned anyone," he paused slightly, "to death before."

Shizuo didn't look convinced. "But you have poisoned people. Yeah. I can tell."

Izaya pulled out a fistful of grass, the ends tickled his fingers. "If I did do such a thing, it would only be because I cared."

"That's fucked up, don't even deny it. Only cowards use poison."

"Of course you would think that, Shizu-chan. But poison requires a calculated intelligence. It takes a cold strength of will. You would have to first figure out which type of poison, then the means to acquire it or make it, and then figure out how to administer it without being detected or for it to be traced back to you. A crime of passion and impulse is nothing compared to what it would take to plan someone's death to the last precision. I don't suppose you could imagine the skills it would require to knowingly poison someone, watch as an unsuspecting person takes your offered poison. It certainly is trickery at its finest."

"There's nothing fine or admirable about it and the people who sent us here are cowards." Shizuo turned away so that he wouldn't be looking directly at Izaya.

Again, Shizuo was gravely mistaken. The people who put them on this island were anything but cowards. "I would be careful of what you say. Wouldn't want to offend the wrong person." Well, it was a little too late for that, but things could always get worse.

"Don't fucking care. If they have a problem with me, then they can tell it to my face."

Izaya tsked and then they both were quiet. Their silence was filled with the noises from bugs buzzing around and the waterfall. Shizuo's face relaxed.

"Oh that's right," Izaya said suddenly, not quite enjoying the peace as Shizuo was. "Just like in the first few  _Saw_  films, the person who was the serial killer, Jigsaw, he said that he never actually killed anyone. In his traps, the person just had to have a strong enough will to survive and then they would live. Whether the people died didn't have any impact on his conscience. Isn't that interesting?" Izaya smiled as he continued to speak.

"I can imagine that for the creators of the game our deaths are of little consequence. I don't even think they would consider it murder either, not that they would care either way. Funny, right?"

The excitement coursed through him and he began to talk faster.

"Think about it! This island is just like a grand human experiment. You could say that each participant is acting against his will, and thus the participants are no longer responsible for their actions because they were set in an environment that forced them against each other. But there are no rules here, just a simple order to find the antidote if one wants to live. And yet someone had figured out that killing another person could add a limited amount of time to their own sentence. This automatically creates an environment of distrust. So instead of figuring out how to get out of here, everyone is doing the next best thing, the only thing they believe they are capable of to alleviate their situation."

Izaya observed his own left hand as he spoke, lifting it in the air and gazing at the red streak there.

"Did you know suffering ceases to be suffering the moment meaning is found in it?" He didn't wait for a response from Shizuo, not expecting one anyway. "Viktor Frankl said that. It means humans are capable to still feel happiness even if their entire world has been shattered. Isn't that grand? Right, that's right, it is, isn't it? That's because humans have free will and are incredible. Humans can dictate how they respond and interpret any situation by choosing how to allow it to affect them or not. Funny I'm quoting him, I know. He did work on suicide prevention. Hah. But do you know what's even better than that?"

Izaya waited a breath before speaking once more, his expression slightly malicious.

"I was thinking that in such an extreme situation as this survival game, that of someone with such a high regard for morals, what would happen to this individual? Would this person crack? Follow their ideals to the grave? Rejoice even in the worst situation? Anything is possible because humans—"

"Who the fuck are you talking to?" Shizuo said gruffly.

Izaya blinked, partially surprised.

"Well Shizu-chan, there is only one other...being here, besides Willy-san's rubber remains, which I'm beginning to suspect has more intelligence than you."

"Oh…I kinda stopped listening the moment you said humans...Y'know, I thought you were having an episode or something."

Izaya glanced his way and was annoyed to see Shizuo settled in as if he were sunbathing.

"Your voice is annoying." Shizuo continued with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Think you could, I don't know, whisper about whatever you were thinking about? Or better yet, just shut up?" It was remarkable that Shizuo said that all with a calm voice. That fact wasn't lost on Izaya.

Izaya didn't like the look of peace on the man's face. It looked wrong there. He was used to seeing a twisted ugly expression, that seeing anything else was irritating. He had the sudden urge to disturb that peace. Set gasoline over hot embers, just to feel the blaze and destruction. And that was what he was best at doing.

"Of course none of what I was saying would commute in that empty head of yours, hah! A monster could never appreciate the intricate beauty of human nature. It can only be envious of what it doesn't have. But tell me," his tone became slick with venom, "how did you trick someone into actually having sex with a monster like you?" The jab wasn't as deft as it could be, but it was the easiest and quickest way to make the man furious.

Shizuo had already been bristling at Izaya's words, but that last comment lit a burning rage in his eyes.

"So did you hurt the girl you slept with?" Izaya asked, only interested in making him angry.

Shizuo's expression darkened. "You're such a fucking pest."

"Are you getting angry because you did?"

Shizuo sat up, and Izaya didn't miss the way his abs appeared when his body became tense. He could practically feel the way the air around Shizuo changed– his eyes pinned him down like a predator. Izaya wondered if he should ask who it was. Shizuo didn't know that many women. Had it been Vorona? A random stranger? A prostitute? Maybe he would get killed if he asked that.

Izaya lifted the corners of his lips. He glanced at the scar across that chest, a few shades lighter than the surrounding skin tone. It made him feel better that he had actually hurt Shizuo. That he had scars when Izaya didn't. "Did you leave any bruises, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo lunged and he was too close that Izaya couldn't jump away fast enough. His back hit the ground, some rocks jabbing even through his shirt, and Shizuo sat astride him, his face twisted in hurt and anger. "What the fuck is your problem, huh?"

Izaya smirked. It didn't even matter that his knife was two feet away from him and impossible to reach. It seemed like his words were cutting deep enough. "I'm curious. Did you do this to her too?" Shizuo was breathing hard, his hands hovering over Izaya's wet chest.

"I told you—" Shizuo gripped the wet fabric, the cloth tightening around Izaya's torso. "—it's none of your fucking business. But you never listen. And you wanna know what? I lied. I've never been with someone else, but that wouldn't change the fact that I would  _never_  hurt anyone like that. And if you so much as say another word-" His own voice was drawn out in a low growl. "I will  _break_  you."

Shizu-chan's expression twisted in pure unadulterated loathing.

This look on Shizuo was so much better.

Izaya nodded his head slowly and Shizuo took a few deep breaths before stepping away. He walked over to a tree and punched it so hard, it cracked like a board. "Don't fucking talk shit to me! Don't FUCKING TALK TO ME!"

A minute later, Shizuo's anger induced pants subsided, but the peace never did return.

They sat there in silence for some time, Izaya perfectly content by the fact that Shizuo had a deep frown on his face. Shizuo decided it was time to leave when his remaining cigarettes were dry enough and he had one lit in his mouth. Izaya's clothes were still sodden, and his coat was heavy in his arm as he followed Shizuo along the water's edge.

Izaya wondered for how much longer Shizuo's ideals could hold, till he finally snapped from the pressure of his own monstrous nature.

Only one day and 21 hours remained.


	8. Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's right, this wasn't paradise. This was a hell that was forced onto them.

They followed the stream for over an hour. Their destination was both wherever the source of the stream led as well as higher elevation to see more of the island. The trees were dense and towered over them, and there was more unrecognizable vegetation. Most of it looked like waxy leaves to Shizuo, almost like the plastic replicas used in restaurants. But when these leaves brushed against him they felt real enough. Occasionally, Shizuo would step right into a spider web, the thin strands hitting his bare chest, and he would frown before swiping the web away. The buzz of flying insects was annoying, but it was still less annoying than listening to the flea, so Shizuo could deal.

It had been awhile since either of them had last spoken, which Shizuo was grateful for since he was still pissed. Every time he looked back at Izaya, he made sure to send a glare his way. Each time those eyes would light up when they met, the dark depths cruel. And  when he didn't notice, he would look at his hand and trace the wound there with his other hand, or he'd be gazing off. But nothing about it looked intentional. It was absentminded. Withdrawn.

It was quite possible that something was wrong with Izaya, other than his usual shitty, shady as hell self.

Every so often, Izaya winced from the tender press of skin, and Shizuo would look away, but not before catching that quiet sharp edge to Izaya's expression that he was sure meant nothing good.

This time though, Izaya gave him a sidelong glance and Shizuo met his eyes with a warning glare. Izaya smirked.

It reminded Shizuo of what Izaya had said about those who used poisons. Something about it being a calculated intelligence. And that was what Izaya was: a calculating bastard who could poison a person with a smile.

Shizuo didn't care if the fleabag was hurt. Hell, he was still pissed at what Izaya had said.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya began and ignored Shizuo's narrowing eyes, "I'm famished."

"Eat shit," Shizuo growled. Didn't matter that Shizuo had ignored his hunger for a while now, if Izaya would starve, then Shizuo would happily starve as well. He took a deep breath that was anything but calming.

"But not all of us can eat that. Some of us, meaning me, require actual sustenance."

A vein in his forehead throbbed. "I don't care," Shizuo said.

Izaya sighed loudly. "But I can't think properly then, you know, to figure out where the antidote is. Ok, ok. How about this? I'll give you 40,000 yen from my wallet if you go deep sea fishing and catch me a tuna, and it can be any tuna species, but I'll give you an _extra_ 10,000 if you manage to catch a kuro maguro. That's more than you'd make in a day _and_ you can have half the fish."

"How stupid do you take me for?" Shizuo managed to say through clenched teeth.

Izaya lifted an eyebrow and smiled.

Shizuo growled. "Money can't buy shit here. You can't pay me to do anything."

"That's what you're bothered about?" Izaya laughed. "What a surprisingly astute observation. To think working as a bodyguard for a debt collector taught you something, and here I was imagining that you'd be jumping to get my money. Hmm? Maybe instead I should just pay you for the free entertainment, that way both of us are happy."

"Did you not hear what I said?" Shizuo's hands twitched in annoyance. "You can take your money and shove it up your ass. Or eat it, I don't care."

"Alright, fine." Izaya lifted up both of his hands in mock surrender. "But I'm sure you'll get hungry soon. Monsters got to eat too."

Shizuo sent Izaya another scathing look before walking at a quicker pace. He almost went head first into another spider web, but he managed to duck low enough to miss most of it. It was a good thing too, since the spider dangling there was roughly 10 centimeters big and it was black and ugly down to each long thin red leg. He imagined what would happen if he flung it on Izaya. The thought was tempting enough that he swatted it, broke the web and watched the spider fly.

"Here catch." Shizuo was kind enough to warn the flea.

Izaya looked up sharply, reflexively about to catch what was coming his way, but he sprang away just as the black and red blur passed him and landed on the dirt. The spider was curling inward, unable to crawl away.

"Hey! That could have been venomous," Izaya said, clearly annoyed.

Shizuo hadn't thought of that. He grinned. "Oh that's too bad. I thought that you could, y'know, eat it, since pests eat other pests all the time. I'm sure it has a lot of protein and tastes like chicken when you roast it."

"What, speaking from experience? Frankly, your ideas of food are just appalling. I really don't want to know what you eat on a daily basis."

Shizuo was still feeling slightly better after almost hitting Izaya with a spider, he just shrugged. "I eat just fine."

"Shizu-chan, this may be a bit hard for you to understand but garbage isn't food."

"What are you talking about, I don't eat garbage."

"I saw what you ate at school, which consisted of only milk and cafeteria food. I'm sure much hasn't changed and you just buy the cheapest fast food or convenience meal you can. I, on the other hand, have a beautiful secretary that cooks for me. And my refined tastes and money mean that I can afford to eat otoro whenever I want."

He couldn't exactly deny the store bought food part, but Shizuo sure as hell wasn't envious that the flea had someone forced to cook for him. He almost felt bad for this person. He crossed his arms before speaking. "Yeah? Well, maybe all that tuna gave you mercury poisoning. Ever thought of that? Would explain why you're fucking insane."

"Insane? Me? You think I'm mad as a hatter!" Izaya snickered. "I can assure you that I'm not suffering from any of the adverse neurological symptoms of organic mercury toxicity. I am actually well aware of my mercury intake and have gotten myself tested, though not because I actually think that my levels are high, but because I care about my health."

"What you just said," Shizuo said with a small gesture of his hands, "really didn't convince me that you're sane. Next, you're gonna tell me that you have that mercury test framed on your wall to convince yourself and your…clients that you're not fucking mad."

Izaya had this expression on his face like he was bemused, mixed with his usual condescending asshole look. "No, actually I have the mercury test on the back of my business cards. You see, that way my clients are always reassured on the matter of my mental well-being. Because, obviously, mercury level tests are a credible way to rate someone's sanity level."

"Piss off," Shizuo grumbled. "Didn't I tell you not to talk to me?"

"I believe you were the one who threw the spider at me, thus continuing our conversation. Which, by the way, was uncalled for." Izaya said while looking at said crippled spider. One of its red spindly legs twisted as if in agreement.

"Whatever, it's not like anything happened. Let's just keep going. The faster you figure this shit out, the faster we can get off this annoying ass island." Shizuo turned back and began walking. A chuckle came from behind him, and he felt a chill go over him. He half expected Izaya to stab him in the back.

"Actually, I never got tested for mercury poisoning."

Shizuo kept walking.

"And I'm still hungry," Izaya bemoaned.

He had to stop himself from turning around and repeating their conversation. He was so tempted to stuff that mouth with leaves and dirt, for fuck's sake even that dead spider, to get him to shut up.

Shizuo wisely kept his fists to his sides.

Izaya wisely kept his mouth shut.

Roughly fifteen minutes later they found the source that fed the stream, a good sizable pool of water that was fit to be on one of the covers for travel destinations. The sunlight hit the translucent water, showing the clear depths. There was a wall of rock as a backdrop interwoven with green plants and wildflowers. It almost looked too picturesque to be real.

Shizuo quickly scanned the trees for anyone. The trunks of the trees varied in width, some incredibly thin, while others could hide grown men the size of Simon. They walked a little closer.

"I wonder if they created this, or if it was already here before," Izaya said quietly beside him.

Shizuo didn't care either way and didn't bother answering. He was still focusing on the line of trees, but he didn't really feel like anyone was near. He listened carefully too, filtering through the soft hum of insects, the occasional bird calls, and the running water around them.

Izaya stood at the water's edge, peering inside. "This is great," Izaya said, "no dead bodies floating or submerged. And it looks clean. Lucky us." He placed his folded coat onto a nearby rock. Picking a spot that looked the least stagnant, Izaya dipped his hands in the water. "I really hope I don't get dysentery," he said with a brief hesitation before cupping the water with his good hand. He couldn't see Izaya's expression as he crouched by the water.

Shizuo almost said that he hoped that Izaya did get dysentery, but that would mean that he'd never hear the end of it and the fact that then there was a good chance that he'd get it too. Fuck, he still wanted to say it though.

"I would make you drink it first, but knowing you, I doubt that you'd get sick from contaminated water," Izaya said and took a sip.

Oh right, there was that. "Well I hope you get dysentery, asshole," Shizuo grinned.

"Wow, what a terrible thing to wish on someone!" The flea chuckled, he looked up at Shizuo and smirked, the mirth apparent in his flea-eyes. "I bet you could start a line of greeting cards with phrases like that. Like, _Get crushed by a vending machine_ , or _I hope it's rat poison_ , or something more classic, such as  _I hope it's a venereal disease_. Or maybe that's just too many words for someone like you and you just send them something simple like ' _You…me…tonight_ and then write the time, place, and _with passionate hate—"_

Shizuo just tapped Izaya on the back with his shoe.

"—Hey stop that, don't push me in the water again!" Izaya steadied himself and regained his balance. "Hmm, but too bad. The water tastes really clean."

Shizuo sat a few feet away from Izaya and tasted the water. He partly expected that Izaya had been lying and the water tasted like dirt and shit, but sure enough, it tasted cleaner than what came out of his own faucet at home.

"Now I wish that I hadn't wasted that condom," Izaya sighed. "I was serious about it holding water. Shizu-chan, why'd you have to break him!"

"Shut up! Fuck, you're so annoying!" Shizuo stepped further away to drink more water and wash his face from the growing anger that was heating his neck and face.

Izaya huffed, but he drank his fill of water as well.

A few minutes later and they were ready to leave. "Okay, we're going to continue on this way where the mountain is," Shizuo said, his expression was hard as he glared at the flea and pointed towards their next destination, where the peak of a mountain loomed overhead. "Then we'll decide on what to do next."

Izaya nodded his head. He picked up his ugly coat and Shizuo led the way as they walked. Now that they were no longer following the stream path, there was more brush that he had to step over. Some thorns got caught in his tailored pants. 

He ended up walking through a few more spider webs, and one spider tried to bite him on his shoulder, but it didn't pierce his skin. He brushed it off without killing it.

The humidity was starting to get on Shizuo's nerves, making him bead with sweat. Fuck! Was everything trying to test his nerves? 

The only good thing was that Izaya was being quiet, which lifted Shizuo's mood considerably. Well, as much as being in the same company as the fleabag was permissible.

Shizuo broke the silence only to ask for the time. The last time he had asked an hour and thirty minutes had passed since they had left the small little water oasis. Now it must have been closer to two hours. But he could tell that they were getting close. They were beginning to climb up a steeper, mostly granite path. From beyond the trees overhead, the mountain peak was in sight. The trees were also fewer in numbers.

Shizuo quickened his pace. He could hear Izaya starting to breathe harder from a few strides behind him. Then they hit a steep wall of rock, extending up and in both directions. Shizuo stopped for a moment. Izaya caught up with him and looked up at the mountain peak. 

"I'll go alone," Shizuo said.

Izaya tsked. "I think it would be better if I saw the view too. I doubt that you are going to give me a descriptive map."

"Yeah, but you can't climb with that," Shizuo said and pointed at Izaya's hand.

"It's fine," Izaya muttered. Shizuo looked up at the steep incline. It was higher than a six-story building. He didn't particularly care if Izaya fell to his death, but he did want to get off this island.

He brushed a hand through his damp bangs, a headache was forming from where his thoughts took him next. He took a few seconds thinking of other options and coming up short. They could go further down, but he doubted that a staircase was waiting for them.

"Alright, I'll carry you up," Shizuo said.

Izaya looked absolutely appalled. "What? No! You're all sweaty and gross."

"Fine, then stay here, and wait for me."

"No," Izaya said.

"You're not climbing that 'cause I'm not going to catch you."

"Oh, this again," Izaya muttered. "Great."

"Yeah, what will it be?" Shizuo asked, barely restraining the annoyance from his voice.

Izaya looked conflicted as he gazed up towards the mountain peak.

"So how will you carry me?" Izaya finally asked, his voice and expression bitter.

As Shizuo climbed up the rock surface, he had to admit that this was probably one of the most surreal experiences in his life, which was saying a lot considering Ikebukuro was prone to all sorts of crazy shit, most of it a byproduct from the pest that was currently stuck to his back. He was even more mortified for having suggested giving his most hated enemy a piggyback ride who the fuck knows how far up in the air to a mountain peak. It was crazy and absolutely mental.

Shizuo actually thought that he had gone insane the moment that he had felt the flea wrap his scrawny legs against his waist. He had the impulse to send Izaya flying to the stratosphere. Fuck, he wanted to throw himself into the stratosphere if that were possible.

This was the longest minute of his life. He had to pretend that it was someone else clinging to his back. He began to imagine his brother, which wasn't too much of a stretch since they were both roughly the same size, but then he was beginning to feel a little terrible, like comparing the two was a disservice to Kasuka. And also his brother didn't have any flea stench.

He was careful not to grip the rocks too hard, or else it'd crumble under his fingers.

After his brother, he had a very limited amount of people to choose from. There was Shinra, but fuck then he imagined him doing all sorts of weird shit trying to get blood samples and dissecting him. When he almost slipped from his sweating palms, the flea had gripped his throat in a chokehold, and Shizuo almost completely lost it. In a last desperate effort, for the sake of his sanity, Shizuo tried to imagine that he was giving Gandhi a ride on his back to the mountain top as some enlightenment journey. Because who could get mad at Gandhi? Shizuo couldn't. Somehow this kept him through the last stretch of rock wall.

Finally, his feet touched the top. Izaya hopped off, and though there wasn't enough space on the mountain top for their shared ordeal, Shizuo was so grateful that he hadn't gone berserk while hanging from a cliff. It didn't even cross his mind that he was being overly dramatic about the whole thing.

What mattered was that he hadn't gone entirely insane.

"I think I might end up throwing you down the mountain," Shizuo warned. "Don't know if I can do that again."

"As tempting as that sounds, because really it is, I kind of want to stay alive as well," Izaya said and sat down after feeling a slightly strong gust of wind.

"Hmm, don't know if I'm convinced. I'm sure you will live if you land properly."

"Well then, drop me and say goodbye to Ikebukuro." Izaya began to scan their surroundings.

With the cool wind hitting his skin, the remaining sweat dried from his body. He took in his surroundings, unprepared for the sheer beauty that surrounded him in panoramic view. The turquoise water lapped at the white shores. The sea stretched around them, all blue and green and near the horizon it was like the sky and ocean melted together. The clouds were sparse in the sky, just fluffy little strands here and there.

Most of the island was covered with a rich green color. Near the shore was the building that they had arrived in, a grey square the size of a matchbox. There were more of those buildings, spaced wide apart, and Shizuo turned in a circle as he counted fifteen of them. On one side, there was a concrete building bigger than the others. It couldn't be a base or something, but he thought it had to be important.

As he spun in another circle, it appeared that the island was more or less shaped like the profile of a cat's body as it stretched, minus the tail. They weren't even in the middle of the island, more like a third way in.

"Hey! I think I see palm trees," Izaya said.

"Um..so?"

"You know, coconuts. They're a good source of electrolytes and are a great snack."

Izaya was pointing to their far left. Shizuo frowned as he tried to see what Izaya was seeing. He guessed that it could be coconuts, but then again it could be the lighting.

"Well, how about spotting possible locations for the antidote?" Shizuo asked.

"I think it's by the coconuts."

"You trying to piss me off?" Shizuo asked.

"What? Don't like coconuts?" Izaya laughed.

"Say coconuts one more time, and I will replace your head with a coconut."

"How terrifying!" Izaya hid his smirk behind his hand. "Okay, so I think our best bet is to check out that building over there," Izaya said, pointing to the concrete structure that Shizuo had noticed before. Like the rest of them, it was along the shoreline, but it was almost placed in the mid-point from the ends of the island. Right where Shizuo would consider was the stretching cat's shoulder blades. And now they were more located at the cat's neck.

"And during and after that, I think we should find some people. I can't really spot anyone from here, but I do think we should learn as much we can about these," he pointed to the metal around his neck. "Then we should probably find some shelter or food. It's good that we know one spot that has water, but there may be more."

"I suppose that's good enough for now." He tried to memorize the layout of the island as best he could. But he was more just prolonging the inevitable.

The sun was hot against his back and neck. Izaya had a pensive look on his face as he stared down at the land below them.

Shizuo took in a deep breath of the salt-tinged air. If he just watched what was below him like Izaya was doing, then it really almost looked like a paradise island that they were visiting. Shizuo had never been one to travel far from his home in Ikebukuro, let alone leave Japan.

For a second he could just appreciate the beauty here. Breathe in the fresh air. He imagined that he had come here on his own volition on a two-day mini vacation. Heck, he didn't even need his shirt to go swimming. He was all set to close his eyes and listen as the wind ruffled his hair and the tree leaves below. Feel the sun warming his chest. His musings were spoiled when Izaya stood up next to him. Taking up far too much space and invading his peaceful delusions.

It was as if Izaya could intuitively know just how much he had disturbed Shizuo's train of thought, and the flea smirked as their eyes met. Eyes that were rust colored lit by the sun's rays reminded Shizuo of drying blood, like the wound on his palm that he still hadn't covered up. Something flickered across the flea's expression, like the barest of flinches, but it was gone, replaced with a haughty smirk.

"Shall we return to the land of the dying?" Izaya said.

That's right, this wasn't paradise. This was a hell that was forced onto them.

"Yeah," Shizuo's voice was calm. "Hop on."

The way down was decidedly better, as he didn't need anything to distract him from the fact that Izaya was pressed against his bare back. The reality was that he was doing this so that he could go home, and that was a good enough reason to not let his temper get the best of him.

It was while they were they were still crossing the forest, almost half way to their next destination when they first heard the screams for help. It was in a foreign language that Shizuo was unfamiliar with. He also had no way to prepare for what was to come.

He stepped back to look at Izaya who had paused, hand in the process of moving aside a large fanning leaf.

The next words he could understand as they were spoken in a thick accent, but in English. " _Somebody! Help! Help me! Please! Help me!_ " Then came the unfamiliar language that sounded Spanish or Italian, he didn't know which.

Shizuo reacted a moment later. "Come on, let's go!"

"Wait, it could be a trap!" Izaya said as he rushed to catch up to Shizuo.

Shizuo moved faster towards the source of the voice. It was still far enough away, and the bugs were quiet compared to the wild blubbering mess as the man screamed for help. He didn't check if Izaya was following.

Shizuo barreled through the trees, knocking some over. He skidded to a halt a few paces away from a man whimpering on his knees. Dark brown, almost black, eyes wet with unshed tears gazed up at him with fear and amazement.

Again there was that unfamiliar language as the man spoke.

" _What is it_?" Shizuo spoke in his limited amount of English.

" _Please help me! The antidote! I need the antidote. I only have two minutes left! Please!_ "

The metal device around the man's neck flashed red.

" _Un minuto e trenta secondi rimanenti_." A computerized voice said.

The man shook with fear. " _Help me! Please, I don't want to die!"_

Izaya stepped beside him, quietly like an apparition. " _We don't have the antidote_ ," he said in a cool, collected voice.

The man's eyes widened. He had thinning black, curly hair atop his head. As he propped himself up on his knees, his belly protruded from his ripped shirt. " _But- but_ …" his voice slurred as he spoke. _"I didn't do anything to deserve to be here. I've never killed anyone. Please, please. I haven't done anything! I've been hiding in a tree for two days now, I just want to go home."_

" _Un minuto rimanenti_."

" _No. No. Please. Don't. Help me. I- I- don't want to die!_ " The tears were falling from his eyes.

"What if I broke it?" Shizuo said in Japanese. "Maybe we can help him."

"I don't think you can help him. Once you try to crush that metal, it's going to trigger the poison to be injected immediately. The last one you broke took over ten seconds to break. You're just going to prolong his death, probably even more painfully."

"I can't not do anything," his heart beat furiously. There was a helpless feeling of dread that made his hands feel numb and prickle unpleasantly.

" _Trenta secondi rimanenti._ "

The man howled in anguish. " _No. No. Please. Help_." Then he began whispering. He took out a cross from around his neck and began mumbling incoherently. The man was praying to his God. For what, Shizuo could only guess was for his salvation or deliverance to the next world.

" _Hey_ ," Shizuo said.

" _Venti secondi rimanenti_."

" _Help. I will help you. Take that off_."

The man blearily looked up as Shizuo was pointing to his own neck, and then motioning with his hands like he was breaking a stick.

" _I can break it._ "

Shizuo slowly lowered his hands towards the man's throat. The man knocked his hand away and began praying almost in fervor. Choked sobs escaped his lips.

" _I can help_ ," Shizuo spoke as slowly and as non-threatening as possible.

" _Dieci secondi rimanenti."_

 _"No. Please. Stop_." The man was turning around.

Shizuo decided to do it anyway. He moved to grab the metal, right at the front and back of the surface. Immediately, the man began thrashing, trying to pull away, hitting Shizuo's arms desperately.

"He thinks you're going to snap his neck." Shizuo turned to Izaya, seeing the way he was just standing and watching.

" _Cinque secondi rimanenti_."

"Tell him to calm down, and that I'm trying to help," Shizuo said fast. Fuck it, there wasn't enough time for that. The metal began to slowly crunch under his fingertips.

Just as he did so, a red light flashed between his fingers and the there was a cranking noise. A moment later the man choked up in horror. The scream was caught short as poison was injected into his throat.

Shizuo struggled to wrench the metal between his hands. How thin it was and how close it was to the man's neck made it more difficult. It took a few seconds later before he finally ripped it in two with the sound of gas escaping, and Shizuo threw the metal as far as he could.

The man collapsed to the ground, grabbing at his throat and struggling to breathe. Bloody spittle was coughed out as he tried to wheeze. Blood bubbled out from the puncture wound. The man's lips were opening and closing as if he were trying to speak, but his teeth were clenched tight. All the while those dark wide eyes watched Shizuo in agonized terror.

His own collar beeped, flashing red.

 _"Congratulations. Four seconds have been added to your time. You now have 40 hours, 53 minutes, and 28 seconds remaining. Good luck._ "

Shizuo couldn't look away as the man's face slowly turned a bluish hue, patchy in some areas. His body convulsed, thrashing wildly as it became apparent that he was suffocating. Shizuo stepped back, his hands shook.

"I was trying to help."

The blood coming out looked even darker and red spots were livid against his skin. He was still desperately trying to breathe, gripping his neck in a choking hold.

" _I was_ -" he tried to speak in English, but the words were thick on his tongue and he couldn't think straight enough to speak correctly in another language. "Fuck! I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this…"

"I believe it's a type of cyanide gas," Izaya said as he watched the man slowly losing the fight to breathe. "Smell that? Like bitter almonds? That's a big giveaway. Cyanide attaches to the hemoglobin more effectively than oxygen does, it essentially shuts down the circulatory system's ability to carry and absorb oxy-"

"Please stop talking," Shizuo said quietly, "he's not even dead yet."

Izaya either didn't care or wanted to fuck with him. "-gen. This breaks down cellular activity and causes rapid cell death due to oxygen deprivation. It's an incredibly painful and excruciating death. Once he stops that—"

"SHUT UP!" Shizuo clenched his fists and shook with the effort to hold still. The man on the ground still flinched from the loud noise, hazily looking up at Shizuo. He couldn't stand to look at that man any longer and he turned his head towards Izaya who was looking back at him in mild amusement.

"I'm only figuring out what the poison is and possible antidotes, Shizu-chan. If you're so upset about what happened it's only your fault. I told you that you wouldn't be able to help him."

"You're the worst," Shizuo was having trouble keeping his breathing steady. His whole body suppressed the effort to stomp over to Izaya and kill him. "The absolute worst."

"What? Do you want me to have an emotional break down too?" Izaya grinned, unable to hold back the chuckles from behind his hands.

"You should be the one fucking choking to death. You don't even care that he is suffering!"

Izaya didn't flinch as Shizuo took a threatening step closer. He was close enough, that if he wanted to, Shizuo could grab him and crush him in a heartbeat. "But I had nothing to do with that. Shizu-chan, that was all you. Now he's going to suffer for longer. You did this."

"Fuck you!" Shizuo grabbed Izaya's shirt and pulled it against his chest. "I was trying to save him while you were doing nothing."

Izaya was taunting him with his eyes and smirk. He was practically asking to be beaten to death, and Shizuo would be happy to oblige him. It reminded Shizuo of that morning before they had agreed to their shitty agreement. He shouldn't have agreed to do anything with Izaya. Izaya probably wanted to drag him down with him.

When he looked down at the body, Shizuo hadn't even realized that the man by their feet had stopped breathing. The man was clenched up in pain and the front of his pants were wet from where he urinated over himself.

He was so fucking pissed, he wanted to hurt Izaya. Break him. He pushed Izaya down, forcing him inches from that agonized face and holding him in place by the back of his head. "Is this fucking funny to you?"

Izaya didn't respond at first, and Shizuo pushed him closer so that he was touching the dead body. "Huh? I asked you if this is fucking funny to you, you piece of shit."

"Not him," Izaya said, his voice was low and difficult to hear, but Shizuo heard it in the mostly silent forest. "But you are."

Shizuo pulled Izaya back and flung him. The flea's back hit a tree and the force was enough to snap bark. Izaya fell to the ground and slowly picked himself up. "It's not just funny. It's hilarious!" Izaya laughed. "You're hilarious."

"I fucking hate you so much! You don't deserve to live." His emotions needed an outlet, he was becoming lightheaded.

"It's so easy to antagonize you," Izaya practically gushed. "Just a few words and you become a beast. So Shizu-chan, let's have some more fun." He took an unsteady step forward and winced from the pain. "More and more fun."

His gut clenched painfully. What he was planning to do had to make it better because Shizuo didn't know how to calm himself down. Izaya was fully standing, staggering on his legs and leaning back on the half broken trunk as if he were waiting for him. Still belittling him with that smirk. He didn't even have his coat on him. It had dropped before he had hit the tree, a black unmoving bundle. Just like Izaya would be soon.

He wanted Izaya to suffer. He wanted Izaya to know how terrible he could be. Know just how much pain Izaya caused through broken skin and broken bones, till that smirk was just a red smear. This would make him feel better.

And all at once, with a cold realization, he knew what Izaya was doing. Because Shizuo was ready to do the same. The sly bastard. 

Izaya wanted to hurt him because it was the only thing he knew to do, that he believed could make him feel better. It was normal and familiar. Even though Izaya didn't act like it, he was in pain. Had been in pain, had said that he had broken himself, but Shizuo hadn't really cared. His suffering needed to be known, but not in the usual sense, because Izaya couldn't admit that he was suffering. No, his pain was hidden well behind that cold vicious smirk that continued to enrage Shizuo.

Just like the wound that he left untreated on his left palm, Izaya was not acknowledging his pain. He was allowing it to punish him by leaving it untreated and unable to be properly healed.

Shizuo understood that as well since he often let his wounds fester for longer than they should, ignoring the pain and feeling alive from it. But there was a fundamental difference to the way they dealt with their pain. While he didn't hold back his pain and let it out through what he was feeling, Izaya's pain was stuck somewhere in his head, rationalized to not exist and yet unable to cease to exist.

Izaya wanted to hurt Shizuo since he was hurt, and Shizuo wanted to hurt Izaya so that his anger could dissipate. But Shizuo didn't want to continue this game. It would only destroy the both of them. Perhaps that was what the flea wanted, but he had enough.

"I don't want to play your games," Shizuo said, his voice still low and borderline dangerous. "But I'm still so fucking pissed off!" He went over towards Izaya and pushed the tree that Izaya was leaning against so that it became uprooted. Izaya just barely managed to keep standing. He must have realized the difference in his tone since his eyes narrowed. "I still want to hurt you."

Izaya's eyes widened, possibly in understanding. "Don't tell me you're learning self-restraint now."

Shizuo nearly laughed. He put his hand on another tree close to them. It splintered under his rough treatment. "Nah, I could hurt you enough to make myself feel better, but that's what you want. And you, you have no fucking sense of restraint. Trying to push me and push me won't go as you like, idiot."

Shizuo could tell that Izaya didn't like any of this, and because of that, Shizuo felt better for continuing. "Because there are other ways to hurt you," He spoke the words tenderly soft. "And there are other ways to make the pain disappear."

Izaya was about to speak, and Shizuo put a hand over that sly mouth. The flea almost tipped backwards, but Shizuo grabbed on to him, held him by the back of the head where a bruise was forming from where he had smacked against the tree.

"Don't interrupt me." He had only been half listening to Izaya earlier, but he remembered one thing because he thought it ironic at the time. "You said suffering ceases to be suffering the moment meaning is found in it. Yeah, I think I understand it, and I also think it's petty bullshit. Find meaning to your suffering? Who the fuck says that bullshit? To hell with them. Should be suffering ceases to be suffering when you say fuck it, I'm done with this shit. And then you choose to get over yourself. So I hope you understand this well. Don't try to fucking intellectualize your suffering."

Shizuo glared into Izaya's eyes as he removed his hands. He continued to stare down and didn't move from the close proximity.

Izaya still couldn't move away, but he looked back defiantly at Shizuo. "I don't know if I should clap or be disgusted. Though I think I'm probably going to be sick." The flea felt the bruise at the back of his head and he frowned at the swelling skin there.

"Well, I hope you are still hungry," Shizuo said, and he took a step back. As long as they were still going to do this, Shizuo might as well try to redirect his anger.

"What?" Izaya lifted one of his eyebrows. Maybe Izaya had hit his head a tad too hard the way he was staring, like Shizuo had said something preposterous, probably along the lines of one of those greeting cards the flea had made up. Except instead this one read _I hope you are still hungry_ , and not _I hope you starve_.

"Yeah, well, I want to kill something, and you said you wanted that tuna, right?"


	9. When Sharks Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweet sounds of torture

The spray of the ocean mist diluted in the humid air, tasting more of salt the closer they got to the shore. Izaya lagged behind Shizuo and kept his thoughts to himself. His back was definitely bruised, sore when he ducked under low branches.

If he didn't want to get any more hurt, he should probably stop provoking Shizuo, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to. He eyed Shizuo's back, smirking as he thought just where the key to get off the island was. It gave him a sick kind of satisfaction.

It would be easy to slip away from Shizuo, melt into the foliage and run off. He could be off the island any moment, assured too that Shizuo would be dead in fewer than two days. But what he wanted more was to see exactly how this monster would descend into depravity.

Izaya was bothered by what Shizuo had said, he hated those moments when Shizuo acted like he could see through him. He decided that he wouldn't accept any of it. He didn't want to think about how wrong the other was. The only suffering he was dealing with right now was putting up with Shizuo.

He'd said it before. Shizuo was an absurd creature.

How someone could go from a killing rage to being unnervingly perceptive and then be irrational in the span of minutes was ridiculous.

Did the protozoan idiot really believe he could go fishing for tuna? Even with his strength, the odds were near impossible. Izaya wasn't even really that hungry, he'd only said those things to annoy Shizuo.

Izaya shifted the nearly dry coat in his hands. It was too hot to wear even for him. The foliage began to taper off, and Izaya could catch the steady crash of waves. Reaching the shore line, Izaya frowned, realizing that they were slightly off course, the building that they had meant to aim for just a dot in the distance.

Shizuo was already slipping off his shoes and Izaya was tempted to do the same, the almost pure white sand looked inviting to touch. The sun beat down on their heads and he lifted his jacket up as temporary shade.

From the corner of his eye, Shizuo was already unbuckling his belt, and Izaya went ahead over to where the waves surged over the sand. The turquoise expanse of open water was mesmerizing.

He heard the soft pad of footsteps behind him. It came to a complete surprise when the scenery changed, his eyes meeting the blue expanse of the sky instead of the ocean. Two hands had come under his arms, against his ribcage and hoisted him up.

"What are you doing!?" Izaya screeched. He tried to twist his way from Shizuo's grip, kicking in the air and twisting his body in vain. Shizuo was walking into the waves.

"It's only fair that if I have to get wet, then you do too," Shizuo said. "And I think you need to lighten up. Have some fun in the water."

"Absolutely not! Let go!" He began to kick almost frantically, but he couldn't reach Shizuo. His heel just brushed over the surging waves, and Izaya picked up his feet. He next tried to squirm against those hands.

"What are you, a cat?"

"A-ah!" Izaya couldn't get through his coat pockets with one hand without dropping his coat. "Stop! Don't you ev- _hah_ ," the more he squirmed, the more he felt those fingers just below his armpits. "Even dare! Hey! Stop! Hah!" Izaya was breathing hard, twisting as much as he could. "No!  _Hah-ah_!"

"Are you laughing?" The disbelief was clear in his voice.

"Of course not! These are—" Izaya then couldn't stop a choked off gasp of laughter as Shizuo shifted his hold, "—sounds of torture!"

"You're…ticklish?" He heard that right by his ear, and Izaya shivered, struggling harder and thus going into a fit of laughter. "Holy shit, you're ticklish!"

"No! Ah! Don't be ridiculous!"

As if to prove his point, Shizuo started to move his fingers mercilessly and lifted him higher in the air. Izaya didn't even worry about the fact he could be crushed by those hands, he was completely immobilized.

" _AHAHA HAHAHAH!_ STOP! NO! _AHAHAAh_. I can't! Torture! This is TORTURE! Put me- _HAHAHAHAHA_ \- down!" Izaya cried out.

"See isn't it nice to have fun!" Izaya couldn't see Shizuo, but he was sure he was mocking him with a vicious grin.

He flailed his arms and he was still unable to reach for his folding knife. His eyes began to water as he couldn't stop the laughter. "NO-!" Izaya managed to yell, his unrestrained laughter still just as strong. "Put me- _ah_ -down!"

"Alright!" His entire body moved as Shizuo began to motion him as if he would toss him into the water.

"Not in the water! Moron!" Izaya gasped. "I-I'll kill you! I only just managed to- _ahhh_ \- dry off!"

Shizuo laughed, completely disregarding Izaya's plight. Any moment and he'd be tossed.

Both his hands turned to fists, and he winced in pain. "Ah! My- wound! It'll become infected!"

"I thought a little salt water might clean it right up!"

"No- _ah ha_ \- there's tons of- of bacteria in there!"

The tossing motions ceased and Izaya gasped in relief when agonized seconds later he felt sand under him and those hands released him. He nearly collapsed, folding in on himself. "That was cruel!" 

"Really? Then maybe I should do it more often."

Izaya's eyes widened and he shot up from his position to glare at Shizuo.

Shizuo looked far too pleased as he stood with his arms on his hips, standing only in a pair of navy blue boxers. Izaya grit his teeth. He deliberately fixed his gaze on Shizuo's face. He was not one to initiate actual physical contact, preferring his words and knives to create barriers, but he couldn't stop a small embarrassed flush from imagining just how close he had been.

Just like when they had climbed the mountain and he had been pressed against Shizuo's back, he had been painfully aware of the close proximity. 

"No, this is great. I never had anyone to tickle, 'cause Kasuka just gave me this weird look whenever I tried, and, uh, I'm pretty good at reading him, but honestly, I still don't know if he was internally screaming with laughter, trying to secretly murder me with his eyes, or he was just not ticklish. But hey, now I found the perfect way to torture you."

The flush across his face wouldn't dissipate. "I'm  _not_  ticklish! And if you dare try that again I will cut your fingers off!"

"Maybe you'll only nick me. I guess that's an empty threat then." Shizuo shrugged, his grin threatening.

Izaya finally managed to rummage through his pocket for a knife, he flipped it open. "I never deal in empty threats, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo's gaze flicked down, and it was only then that Izaya followed its path to his palm. He hadn't even noticed how blood trickled anew, droplets hitting the sand by his feet.

Izaya looked back up, not wanting to be caught off-guard. He wasn't prepared for the slight hint of guilt on Shizuo's expression, the almost sheepish frown.

"My bad," Shizuo muttered. "Actually, you're looking a little pale."

"I'm fine," Izaya frowned because he was sure that his face was hot with mortification. Shizuo took a step forward and Izaya lifted his knife higher.

"Just cover it up, you've lost more blood than you probably realize."

Izaya scoffed. "It's not so bad, stopped hurting ages ago."

Shizuo ran a hand through his hair and tilted his head.

"How about you stop being a dumbass and get it covered. No one wants to see that shit bleeding everywhere."

Izaya examined his left palm with disinterest. In all honesty, it looked worse than before. He was lucky sand hadn't gotten inside by the careless way Shizuo had dropped him.

"So what? It's not like you care."

"Yeah, well, I'd rather not have to deal with a passed out flea. Dragging around dead weight is a pain." Shizuo would drag him around the island by his feet.

"Hmm?" So Shizu-chan thought he could play doctor? How laughable. "All right, fine," Izaya said with a smirk. "So what do you think I should do?"

"Wash it in the ocean and cut up your coat into strips and wrap that around your hand."

"What? You must be joking!" Izaya hugged his coat to his chest. "My jacket is off limits!" Shizuo gave him this look like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Hey, if you still had your bartender outfit, it's not like you'd rip it up for my sake!"

"Whatever, your shirt then."

Shizuo moved closer, just about kneeling in front of him. It looked like he was going to go ahead and tear off the bottom of his shirt with his hands. A flash of heat worked its way down his neck and torso, which Izaya told himself was from anger.

"I can do it myself!" He said quickly whole getting up. He washed his hand in the waves, gritting his teeth as the salt water ran over the wound. With one hand, he untucked his shirt from his pants and held the hem between his teeth as he used his knife to cut a jagged strip along the bottom. When he reached his side, he had a problem maneuvering his knife.

"It would be easier if you took off your shirt first," Shizuo said, unhelpfully, from where he was watching.

Izaya stopped his cutting motions and glared at Shizuo. An uncomfortable prickle came from being watched. This was proving more of a hassle than he first anticipated. He took a quick few seconds, surveying how best to cut his shirt when he placed his knife on the sand and pulled his shirt over his head. Again he held one end between his teeth before cutting into his shirt with his knife. He cut off three inches from the bottom hem before he gauged that it was enough.

Izaya winced when his wound first touched the black strip of cotton. The bandage wasn't nearly tight enough as he wound it around his hand and pulled.

"It's painful just watching you. Let me do it."

A disagreeing frown grew on Izaya's expression as Shizuo came over and undid the makeshift bandage and rewrapped it around his hand, applying an even amount of pressure that was snug against his palm. He tied the ends securely around his wrist, reminiscent of a black bow.

This time he didn't slice it off.

"You feel a little warm, maybe you are coming down with a fever." Shizuo made a move to feel his forehead, but Izaya ducked out of the way.

"Wow, how thorough of you. And I'm surprised this didn't turn into a tourniquet! You really out did yourself this time. Maybe I should be going to you instead of Shinra."

Shizuo scowled. "You mean after I hit you with a sign post?"

"Tsk, tsk Shizu-chan. Did you already forget your promise? You can't touch me with anything when we get back!" Izaya enjoyed the way Shizuo glowered and he smiled wryly.

"Ah shit, don't remind me…but that doesn't mean you get to piss me off." Shizuo straightened up.

Izaya reached over for his black shirt and he put his arms through, mindful of his newly bandaged hand.

"Hey, on your back!" Izaya froze, the shirt only just covering his shoulder blades before he worked quicker and his shirt was back in place. Shizuo couldn't have seen that small line where the key was embedded in Izaya's own back.

Izaya looked up into Shizuo's narrowed eyes. "What?"

"Shit, you don't feel that?"

Izaya frowned momentarily, but then he understood. He must have gotten a good sized bruise when he'd hit that tree. "No," Izaya said with a shrug, even though the motion pulled at his sore muscles and contusions.

"If you say so," Shizuo stepped away from him to where his pants were folded on the sand. He picked that up and gently placed it down against a tree. His sunglasses were delicately placed on top. "I swear when I return and my pants are gone or torn or some other shit, I will throw you into the ocean. Got it?"

Izaya waved his good hand, "loud and clear! Your pants are safe with me." Shizuo looked like he was debating on just swimming in the ocean with them on, based on how furrowed his brows were. "I hope you can swim 70 kilometers per hour because that's about how fast a kuro maguro goes."

He gave Izaya one last warning glare before stalking towards the waves. When he was waist deep he dove in, disappearing into turquois water. When he resurfaced he was further away than Izaya had expected and then his head delved below once more.

Izaya frowned.

With the sun hot against his side, he looked back towards the line of trees and saw one that was still in the relative comfort of the sand and had a decent amount of shade. He picked up his coat and sat against coarse, deeply edged bark.

He stared across the ocean, occasionally seeing blond hair that was now just a speck in the distance. Resting his head against the bark, Izaya sighed.

Shizuo wasn't actually going to go deep sea fishing, right? He couldn't be  _that_  stupid. Izaya closed his eyes. Yes, he already knew very well the answer to that. This could take all day.

"Stupid," he mumbled. "Seriously, what an idiot!"

Izaya leaned back into the tree and closed his eyes to the soft breeze. Every so often he'd open them and scan the water. Not even fifteen minutes later and Izaya was beginning to fidget.

"Ugh. I should just throw his shoes in the ocean. Or his cigarettes, he didn't tell me not to touch those!" He rested his head over his knees and buried his bare feet in the sand, having slipped off his shoes and socks to fully dry. He picked his hand and examined the bandage over his palm, noticing that some blood seeped through. Even the slightest movement of his fingers and his hand erupted in pain. It wasn't a good sign. Perhaps he really did have nerve damage there.

But he was sure that when he got back, he could fix his hand and be able to hold a knife with ease. It just sucked that it had been his left hand, though he was lucky he occasionally practiced throwing knives and doing other daily chores with his other hand.

Only a day and a half left and he'd be able to go home. The payoff would be worth the wait.

Breaking the soothing lull of waves was the sharp crack of a branch snapping somewhere further in the forest. A knife was in Izaya's hand moments later.

There came another sound of leaves being pushed aside, this time closer. From the heavy footsteps, Izaya was sure this guy was big.

Izaya was about to scoop his things in his hands and find a better hiding spot when he realized that his footprints were a dead giveaway to his whereabouts.

He could practically hear the heavy breathing of whoever was close. Izaya only slipped on his coat, not bothering with his shoes, as he took three quick long strides out of the sand and used his parkour skills to grab ahold a low hanging branch and use it as a platform to spring higher onto a sturdier looking tree. He made his perch as best he could.

The branch rustled too noisily for Izaya's liking before stilling. Finally, a large figure stepped on the beach. Even from the back of the man's head, Izaya knew who it was. Jakow had either followed them here, or had somehow stumbled upon this same stretch of beach.

Izaya watched warily as Jakow examined the sand where he and Shizuo had stepped around. Then the man walked over to where Shizuo's things were neatly folded, and Izaya's heart rate jumped. Shizuo would blame him if anything happened to his remaining things. Though it would be funny if Shizuo had to go around the island mostly naked...except maybe not so funny.

But thankfully enough, Jakow stepped away from Shizuo's pants. It was too bad though he was now following Izaya's tracks in the sand. 

Jakow stopped suddenly, and Izaya watched as the man peered into the line of trees, his gaze subtly elevating.

" _I know that you are there, little bird,"_  Jakow said confidently. " _I came all this way to play._ " Izaya only had two knives on him; the one that he had thrown at Shizuo's back was lost somewhere in a wreckage of fallen trees.

It wouldn't be so smart to lose any more.

Jakow took another step forward and Izaya hugged the tree closer. He tried to shrink against the bark he was against.

" _I spent all morning following trail of fallen trees! It was easier than tracking a bear in the taiga. If I had more time I could have set some nice traps."_

The man was smart to be cautious, knowing that Izaya was armed and skilled with a knife. He no longer had an ax, but something like a hiking stick with a carved point on the end. Izaya wasn't that far off either, he would be discovered in any moment. He still had time to run though.

It was then, with a light breeze rustling the foliage, that Jakow caught sight of Izaya's black coat and his grin stretched across his silvery bearded cheeks. " _Found you!_ "

Izaya made a snap decision, behind him less than a meter away was an even sturdier tree with branches that only sprung from the top. He leapt for one of those branches and was able to grab and pull himself up with one hand. Below him Jakow barreled through much like how Shizuo would have, though without trees raining down his path.

With his knife out and pointed downward, Izaya met Jakow's dark eyes, and he smiled cordially.

He spoke in Russian. " _How nice of you to follow us_ _, Jakow_   _Rokossovsky, it's too bad you just missed Shizu-chan. Why don't you come back in a few hours and try again?"_

Jakow matched Izaya's smile, the pointed end of his spear aimed skyward. " _I was delightfully surprised from earlier. This Shizu-chan you spoke of will be my dearest kill yet. I hope you said goodbye to your friend, because when he comes back from his little swim, I'll leave him your gutted body_."

Izaya chuckled. " _I'm sure Shizu-chan would appreciate that. But if you really want to piss him off, then I suggest you piss on his pants. He'll fight you seriously then._ "

The man first checked the tree trunk with his hands, shaking the base and sending tiny vibrations that made Izaya grip the bark firmly in anticipation for what would come next. Jakow changed tactics, instead ramming the trunk with his shoulder, hauling more weight each go and staring up at Izaya with a wicked grin.

The tree protested from the force, bending and creaking enough that Izaya looked around for a new tree to hop towards. It was then that Izaya happened to glance at the shore.

From the angle that Jakow was standing, it was impossible for him to see the grey object hurtling his way. Also, Jakow did not possess Izaya's remarkable sense of knowing when to dodge at the slightest noise, shadow, or reflection. But Izaya smiled knowingly.

Jakow only realized something was off when he heard the whistling noise right by his ear, by then he had turned his head to see a shark flying in the air, aimed like a missile right at him. His second of incredulity costed him, as the shark collided with his head and chest, the momentum making him crash into the tree. Finally the tree gave way from the force, and Izaya carefully dropped down, the amusement clear on his expression.

Without the threat of anything hurtling his way, Izaya was able to fully appreciate the scene. He turned towards the shore, seeing Shizuo step out from the waves and looking like he was trying to shake water from his ears.

Izaya then went over to the fallen man who had clearly been knocked unconscious. The shark was over two meters long, and he was able to recognize it as a whitetip shark from the long rounded fins that had white ends. The shark was equally still.

"That's not a tuna, Shizu-chan!" Izaya put his hands on his hips.

Shizuo walked over and looked down at Jakow. "Oh, it's the Russian guy, Jaku."

"Actually, his name's Jakow."

"What did he want?"

Izaya grinned, slightly biting on his bottom lip before speaking. "Oh! You know, he was looking for you. I told him you weren't interested in anything long or short term, but he won't take no for an answer! He's quite serious about having you!"

"Would you quit it with that shit?" Shizuo grumbled. "I know you're lying and I bet he was actually looking for you."

"Me? No! His actual words verbatim were," Izaya cleared his throat and lowered his voice, "'I was delightfully surprised from earlier. This Shizu-chan you spoke of will be my dearest yet. I hope you said goodbye to your friend, because when he comes back from his little swim, I'll leave him your gutted body'.- I may have left out a word, nothing too important! But don't you think that was kind of sweet of him to say all that? What a charming fellow!"

Shizuo frowned, looking almost disgusted. "You'd think he'd get it the first time, after I threw him and all, but no, some people just don't get it. Even after you throw a shark at them." Shizuo then looked at Izaya and it was like something clicked in his brown eyes. "Or maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. Either he's another fucking masochist, or you're projecting yourself onto him."

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya stared aghast, "don't ever say such ridiculous things!"

"Come on! It's not nearly as ridiculous as the shit that comes out of your mouth."

Izaya really didn't like where this was going. He quickly pointed at the shark.

"What? If you want to talk about ridiculous, then how about you start with what happened to my otoro?"

Shizuo looked at the shark before dragging a hand through his wet hair. "I couldn't get far enough, a red light kept on blinking and when I resurfaced it told me to turn around or else the device would trigger. So I turned back and eventually saw Jaku-oh touching my pants. I dived deep enough, looking for a rock or something, and that's when I saw the shark."

Izaya snickered. "You just picked up a shark that's even longer than you and threw it?"

"Oh, it was already dead when I found it, and I wasn't going to touch the dead guy I saw so I picked the shark."

"Well that explains why the shark could have died," Izaya shrugged. "And you know what? I think I lost my appetite for tuna. Lucky you."

Shizuo glared and took in a deep breath. "Ah, what a pain." The salt water was still dripping off of him and he tried to flick some away. "Can't even take a proper shower here."

Izaya smirked, thinking that this had gone better than he could have imagined it to.

"Ah, but you did find Jakow a new companion. Maybe he'll forget about you, unless of course this just makes him fall for you even harder."

"You're disgusting." Shizuo turned away and went over to his things where he pulled out a cigarette and lit one. Shizuo shook the box, and even from where Izaya stood, he could hear the box edging closer to hollow. The cigarette was in his mouth, the smoke drifting over his head. He was still in his boxers, really without a care. It was then that Shizuo was facing him, lifting an eyebrow. "What are you staring at?"

Izaya felt a sudden inexplicable apprehension spike deep in his gut. He forced his fixed gaze away before catching himself once more and meeting Shizuo with a cheeky smirk.

"Oh, nothing," he shrugged, ignoring the pain along his back. "Just your ass."

"Hmm?" Shizuo took in another deep breath of smoke. "Could you fucking not?"

Izaya had been expecting anger and ripped out trees for his snide comment, not whatever this was. He frowned deeply. Was Shizuo too stupid to get the joke? Izaya's eyes widened.

"I was kidding, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo didn't even pause as he leaned back against a tree and smoked. "Sure you are."

"It was a joke, get it." The apprehension prickled into a mess.

"Yeah, I get it."

He closed his eyes then put a hand over his face before he looked back at Shizuo who was still idly smoking. Was he over thinking this?

"I wasn't staring at your ass," Izaya said, just to clarify that they were on the same page.

"Okay," Shizuo flicked the ash from his cigarette. "But you sure are making a big deal about it."

Izaya blinked a few times. Continuing to assert or deny his innocence would only make it appear worse for him. He couldn't believe this. "You know what? I'm hungry again so could you go back into the ocean."

"Nah, I can't leave you for fifteen minutes without you getting into trouble. And there is no tuna close enough, idiot."

Izaya huffed, stuck his hands in his pockets, and turned away from Shizuo. His foot kicked some sand up that managed to scatter over Jakow's head.

Izaya stopped when he heard Shizuo snickering. "The look on your face!"

He was still clearly glowering, the anger making him hot around his neck when he faced Shizuo once more.

"Relax, I'm only messing with you," Shizuo said. "I told you to lighten up, right? Does someone need to be tickled again?"

"I hate you," Izaya said.

"Yeah, I know."

To calm down, Izaya pictured what would happen to Shizuo soon.

But even so the apprehension had a hold over him, a disquiet unease that he couldn't simply ignore.


	10. What Remains

Shizuo could kind of understand how Izaya got a kick out of annoying people. It was actually satisfying to witness just how red the tips of the flea's ears could get. And it was somewhat quieter too.

He ignored the uncomfortable feel of salt water drying against his skin as he began to pull on his pants. Izaya was already heading in the direction of the building. Shizuo looked down at the still unconscious Russian man.

"Touch my pants again, Jaku, and next time I'll throw  _you_  at a shark," Shizuo said as he put his sunglasses on and turned around.

"Hey, want me to write that in the sand for Jakow?" Izaya was suddenly in his face, the earlier annoyance on his expression gone. "It's like you're playing hard to get!"

"Fuck no! You're just going to write some creepy shit!"

"Ah, don't be a spoilsport!" In the next few moments, a stick was in his hand.

A few paces from Jakow, Izaya was etching into the sand with letters that Shizuo couldn't recognize. The flea straightened up and looked back at him with a self-satisfied grin.

"It says: In Soviet Russia, Shizu-chan doesn't throw you at a shark— shark is thrown at you!"

"That's not what I said," Shizuo said, his voice lowering.

"Okay, okay," Izaya chuckled as he brushed the sand away and started anew. "Right, the Russian reversal- In Soviet Russia, shark isn't thrown at you, Shizu-chan throws you-" Izaya chuckled, "-at shark!"

"You're making it into a joke, just stop!"

"Fine, this time for real!" Izaya brushed the sand clear and picked a new spot to write. "I hope you like shark, asshole! Is that accurate enough?"

That did kind of sound like something he'd say. Shizuo looked down at the long message in the sand and frowned. "It looks like you wrote a lot more than just that…and that letter looks like a heart."

"What? You're just paranoid, Shizu-chan. That is a з, you pronounce it like a z."

"And aren't those a bunch of Xs and Os at the end?"

"That word is ass." Izaya shrugged. "It's жопу."

"Whatever, you know what, I don't care, let's just go."

Izaya kicked up sand as he walked, whereas Shizuo was careful not to get sand in his shoes.

It took longer than it appeared to walk towards the concrete building. Swimming in the ocean and chasing the flea, and using his strength was expending a lot of his energy. Normally he would have had something sweet to drink or eat in between meals, so not having eaten anything for- well, he didn't know how long, was throwing him off. He would have smoked another cigarette, but he was beginning to ration them now, knowing that he'd need them later.

"You know, I could start a trend of jokes, like - In Ikebukuro, sign post hits you. Or…In Ikebukuro, vending machine rains on you."

"I don't get it, it's not funny," Shizuo said.

"Hmm?" Then Izaya gasped in a somewhat exaggerated manner. "Oh shoot. Oh…This is bad…"

 _Here it comes_ , Shizuo thought warily. "I really, _really_ don't want to know."

"But it's bad! I just remembered, I wrote иди в жопу, which basically means piss off, but it also means kiss my ass, and  _also_  literally means go up in the ass. Do you think he'll take it seriously? Oh no! What if he takes it as an invitation?"

Shizuo looked down at Izaya's glinting eyes and tried to stop his eyebrow from twitching. "I'm guessing that's not all of the mistakes you made."

The smirk on the flea's mouth lifted ever so slightly. "Oh! How did you know? Did you pick up some Russian from Vorona?"

"No, I didn't. Unfortunately, I'm just well versed in calling out bullshit."

"Yes, how unfortunate! Especially more so since Jakow-"

"Finish that sentence, flea, I dare you!"

"Hahaha, if you so insist. I might have written cоси́ мой хуй, which means suck my—Woah!"

Izaya just barely dodged a grab from Shizuo.

"I'll make you redder than the Tickle Me Elmo!"

"Oh my God! Alright, alright! I surrender!" Izaya had both his arms up, as he made sure to keep as much distance away. "I didn't know you watched Sesame Street. But I guess that makes sense- though it still might be a little too advanced for you. Well if I'm Elmo, then you're the Cookie Monster."

Shizuo took a few threatening steps that Izaya matched in distance with a smirk still in place.

"For fuck's sake are you an idiot? You are, aren't you?"

"Come on Shizu-chan, repeat after me: me want cookie."

"Will you stop it?" Shizuo was feeling the familiar bubbling of his anger.

"Chocolate cookie important to me…It mean a whole lot to me…Omm nom nom nom."

"You'll regret saying that, Izaya-kun!"

"It's Elmo, and Elmo looooves you…humans!" Izaya laughed as Shizuo chased him right up to the building and then around it. When they went in a full circle, Izaya stopped to face him and Shizuo grinned, not backing down.

"We're here." Izaya took a step back, an uneasy smirk on his face. "You know, to figure out where the antidote is."

"Oh I'm very aware of that, but I can spare a minute. 'Cause that's about as long as it's going to take to get you to stop treating this like a game."

"I don't think it's a game. It's not like I want to be stuck on an island with you."

"So then figure how to get the antidote so that we can go home."

"Idiot, that's why we came to this building."

"Fine!"

Shizuo stuck his hands in his front pockets. It took him a quarter of a minute to calm enough down to actually examine the concrete structure. The air reeked of shit.

It was two stories high, with very few thin windows and a chimney-like structure at the flat rooftop. It certainly was bigger than the small one-room building they had started in.

"Let's walk around it again," Izaya said and moved even before Shizuo could respond.

The entire size was that of a basketball court and about 12 meters from the shore: atop both sand and dirt. The sides of the building were similar all around with a dirty grey appearance and there were two doors one on each end, Izaya checked them and both were locked.

"Now don't even think about smoking, Shizu-chan. There could actually be remains of a combustible gas."

"Wasn't going to," Shizuo said gruffly.

Honestly, he didn't have a good feeling about this. He frowned when Izaya stepped back from an iron door and looked up at him expectantly.

The door scrooped as Shizuo forced it open, the handle snapping clean in half. Immediately they were hit with a revolting smell, and Shizuo had nothing to cover his nose. It was dark inside, the entire place stank of an acrid sour smell and charcoal. Shizuo stood by the door where he could still attempt to breathe in fresh air as his eyes adjusted to the dark surroundings. 

There was only one thing in the entire room to look at, placed right at the center so there was no way to overlook it. Well no matter where it was placed, it was difficult to miss the dead man in a chair.

Izaya was going through his pockets next to him, and then a hazy blue glow filled the room as he pointed his cell phone out.

It would have been better if he hadn't seen it.

It looked like the man had been jolted with an electric current, his body arched up and stiff looking, the agony apparent as his mouth was stretching impossibly wide and crooked.

It was disgusting. Repulsive!

Izaya stepped closer, his coat held in front of his nose. He stopped short of the body and flashed his light down to get a better look. Shizuo stayed by the door. A red dot turned on.

It took him a few seconds to realize that it was from the phone. Was the flea really recording this shit?

Finally, Izaya stepped back, but he pointed to another door that Shizuo hadn't paid any attention to. He was reluctant to step further into the room and Izaya checked the door himself. He didn't feel any relief when the flea was able to open it and peered inside another dark room.

Shizuo took one deep semi-clean breath of fresh air before covering his nose and mouth, following where Izaya had already gone through. The next room was much cleaner, and Shizuo shut the door after him. It clicked shut behind him when he did so, locking in place.

Izaya seemed to hear it too. "It would make sense if the doors locked from one side. That would make it fairer to the people chained up so that they aren't sitting ducks."

Shizuo didn't say anything. He recalled that early morning when he had made a hole in the wall, instead of using the door like a normal person, and then had left Izaya there.

With the light, Shizuo made out something odd with the floor of this room. Four chains hung from the ceiling, falling into a pit below them.

"They used a different poison on the other guy," Izaya said while looking into whatever was in the pit. "It could be from many types of poisons, including heavy metals, or maybe strychnine is a closer guess, considering how severe the rigor mortis has set in with his arched back. Yeah, he probably died while still convulsing and very recently too. And whoever was here managed to escape. I guess he was rather lucky to be trapped in something so straight forward."

Shizuo went over to where Izaya was standing and looked down into a pit filled with syringe needles. He still didn't really get it.

"You think one of those syringes has an antidote?" he asked.

Even in the dark, Shizuo could make out the amused expression on the flea's face tipped upwards towards him.

"It will be like finding a needle in a haystack."

"Huh?" Shizuo frowned.

"I take it you haven't seen the  _Saw_  movies. Because there was a scene similar to this, with the key in a pile of hypodermic needles, but you know, your idea is so much more creative. What would have been better would be if each of these had been filled with a saline solution, except for three of them, one with an antidote and two more with a lethal dose of poison. Of course you wouldn't be able to tell which was which, with them all being colorless, and the victim would have a slow acting poison in their system already and have to go through them all."

"Jeez, why don't you write up an entire manual for them while you're at it. Going to make this hell hole even more of a nightmare."

Izaya snorted. "Why thank you, Shizu-chan. I'll make sure it's monster proof as well."

"Idiot."

Shizuo had no choice but to follow Izaya as he moved around the room. He really wished that his phone hadn't cracked.

"He must have gone through here," Izaya said as he pushed against a new door. It opened up to a narrow ascending stairwell. Izaya pointed his phone up, though the light couldn't reach the top.

"Alright, I'll go first," Shizuo said, wanting to hurry up so that he could breathe fresh air again.

The steps were made out of concrete and the smell of charcoal still clung to the walls. There was only an iron door at the top that swung open easily when Shizuo touched it. It was relatively dark, but Shizuo's eyes had adjusted better.

This room was just about the same size as the others. Four parallel windows, two on each side, allowed small slants of light against the floor. Particles of dust floated where the light streamed through. One window had been broken. At one corner the wall came inward, and Shizuo remembered that that was probably where the chimney was. A few feet away was another door. He walked over to that one, forcing the lock open in one swift push.

Shizuo wrinkled his nose as a definite smell of rotting eggs stung as it went to his lungs. Even his eyes prickled with tears. Just as he was slamming the door shut, he saw the figure inside. He nearly tripped over Izaya as he reared back. "Ah, fuck!"

"Wow, that's rancid. Did you happen to get a look inside?"

"Fuck, that shit burns," Shizuo said as he rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. He probably would have puked if he hadn't already witnessed something worse when on the beach. In the short glimpse that Shizuo witnessed, the light from one of the windows reached the man's collarbone, and he had seen the dark skin there eaten away, turned into a mess like his skin and muscles had melted into a chunky yellow, red, and black soup. Some stark white rib bones peaked through where even the clothes had disintegrated.

That was all that Shizuo had seen and it was enough for his head to spin.

He put a hand on his forehead. "Don't open the door. I think the fumes are toxic."

Maybe the flea was right about flammable gasses.

"Smells like sulfur in there," Izaya said.

Shizuo took a few steps away.

"So see anything?"

He closed his eyes, yet the image stayed. "Melted...his skin was melted."

"Maybe it's sulfuric acid," Izaya mused.

It was a dead end here and Shizuo didn't want to bother going downstairs again to see the other dead body. He punched the wall where the window was already broken, ripping out chunks of concrete as he did so. In no time there was a sizable hole that he dropped down from and he landed on the soft sand. Shizuo looked back up just as the flea hopped down, his coat trailing behind him like a stupid fur-lined cape.

He also really didn't want to go to the other side of the building where there were more rooms and dead bodies. Izaya didn't look too fazed, but somewhat dark circles were becoming apparent below his eyes, probably from exhaustion. It just showed how resilient this pest could be, still jumping around even with blood loss.

"Let's just take a break," he said as he took in a deep breath. Izaya looked back at him, his eyes sharp as ever.

"Do you need a cigarette break?"

"No, I just want to be able to breathe."

They rested only for a short time, Shizuo during that time staring off into the sea, and Izaya on his back in the sand.

When he forced the door open, metal bending and lock coming undone without much resistance, Shizuo wasn't all that surprised by the time his eyes readjusted to the darker room.

The smell was repugnant, nauseating in the warm confined space where the corpse had remained for days, already beginning the slow process of decomposition and making the air a putrid, rotting and foul mélange. But it was nothing like what was above them. He stepped into the room with Izaya close behind him.

On opposite ends of the room were two narrow metal like crates strung with barbed wire. Not even a child could pass through without getting severely cut.

Only one body remained tangled in this barbed wire spider web, cuts clear on ripped skin and clothes. But there was something odd about the positioning of the body like he was too ensnared.

They stepped closer. It honestly looked as if this person had wrapped his own neck in barbed wire right under where the metal device was around the neck, the blood was almost black in the dark. But it didn't make sense.

It looked like this man had almost made it through, just a foot away from the entrance and he would have been free. There were also many savage open cuts all along his arms, his wide squatting legs, and his broad back. It wouldn't really make sense to just give up and end it with self-strangulation…unless? He looked back at the other crate tightly coiled with barbed wire.

Unless…someone else had done this to him.

The death had to have been unbearably painful. Murder committed to the extent that whoever had done this had to have ripped open his own hands while pulling the barbed wire taut against that neck. They probably knew each other, hated one another.

A setup bearing resemblance to what he had woken up to. Yeah, it didn't take a genius to figure that much out.

He really could have killed Izaya. Could have used the chains to string up his neck, or maybe he could have kicked him enough times till his blood was splattered on cement walls.

He probably wouldn't have even broken a sweat while doing it either. Maybe he would have felt good about it too.

But now… Now the thought of doing anything like that... yeah, he didn't like it; didn't sit well in his stomach.

Shizuo looked at Izaya who had his phone in his hands, shining a light down on the body with a blank expression.

Maybe Izaya realized it too?

Probably.

"Let's keep going," Shizuo said, his voice abrupt in the quiet.

Izaya looked up at him, the light still pointed down. It was a somewhat creepy picture.

An iron door, a black rectangle in the already dark room, was on the far left wall. Shizuo stepped towards it, and again the door had to be forced open, crunching from the power behind his forearms.

The edge of the door scraped against the cement floor as Shizuo pushed the metal. The air was stale, but there weren't any bodies here. It was suspiciously empty except for another black iron door.

The light bobbed a little as Izaya stepped forward. There weren't any windows in this room. Shizuo shut the door, trying to keep out the grotesque smell.

The flea examined the iron door and he tested the handle that refused to open.

"Move aside," Shizuo said as he came up behind him and took a few seconds to twist the metal frame. This door was slightly bulkier than the others; reinforced at the frame with an extra sheet of metal and bolted with heavy duty locks. But it was not a problem for him to crunch.

Shizuo first felt the cool temperature drop. The lingering smell of charcoal came from wherever this led. Izaya brought his smart phone over and the light showed them that there was a staircase.

They stared at it for a few seconds. The hazy light wasn't enough to see what was beyond them. Neither of them made a move to step forward, and Shizuo could once again feel that uneasy feeling in his gut.

"You know in those horror films when you're thinking how stupid the people are for entering the really creepy place and you just want them to go on further to see how they get killed?" Izaya remarked as he looked through the concrete door leading to a narrow staircase descending into pitch blackness. Shizuo would have gotten annoyed about what he said, but the flea's tone wasn't jeering or mocking, it was oddly serious.

"What, I think you got it wrong. I'm pretty sure you want to warn them to not go any further." Shizuo said with a frown. "But I don't know, never really got the point to those films."

"Yeah, well...I think this is that moment."

"Tch, it's fine." Shizuo took a step forward. There wasn't a railing, so he trailed the walls with his fingertips. Izaya followed behind him. The cooling temperature wasn't exactly a relief as a prickly feeling came over him. He brushed a hand over of hair, mindful not to be too rough with the metal at the back of his neck where he wanted to scratch.

At the end of the staircase was another metal door. "There are too many freaking doors," Shizuo muttered as he simply kicked the metal. It flew off its hinges and landed with a grating scrape.

Wrinkling his nose from the odd smell of charcoal and something thick and almost sweet, Shizuo squinted as he tried to see whatever was in this room. From the little light that came from Izaya's phone, Shizuo surveyed that there wasn't much here. His kick to the door had picked up a small cloud of dust in the air. Grey sand was scattered in places on the cement floor.

It itched at his nose and he covered his face with a hand.

"Find anything?" Shizuo asked. It would be so convenient if they could find a map or blueprints telling them wherever the antidote was. Otherwise, this entire thing was just a waste of time.

"There's another room," Izaya said. Shizuo didn't want to stand in the pitch blackness, so he followed Izaya. His leg hit against the broken door on the ground and it clattered a couple feet away. The sound echoed loudly and he cringed.

Izaya was moving things in the other room. There were tons of empty shelves lining one of the walls and another thin long table against another wall. Izaya was on his knees, going through what could have been a thick plastic bag. An empty clear bottle of something was by his feet next to his smart phone.

"This was probably left by one of the workers. Everything else was cleared out." Something crinkled in the flea's hands. Next, he pulled out a bulky object and turned it in his hands. It clicked and the room filled with a soft yellow light. It was a lantern type of flashlight, the batteries on the verge of dying. He set it beside him and it showed just how dirty the walls and floors were with black and grey dust all around them.

"Hurry up, this place smells like shit," Shizuo said from behind his hand.

"Hold this then," Izaya pointed to the lantern and the black bag. He placed the plastic bottle in the bag as well and picked up his phone. There wasn't anything else in the room.

His nose crinkled up and he sneezed. Shizuo just wanted to get the hell out of here. Picking up the bag and flashlight, Shizuo turned to leave.

Their footprints were easy to see on the ground as if they had been stepping in fine gravel. The walls were oddly dark as well. Shizuo instinctively didn't like it. He held the light a little higher in his hand, even with the slowly flickering batteries it was still better than the dingy light from the cell phone.

One wall was particularity scorched black, and Shizuo aimed his light as best he could. He took a step forward and something crunched under the heel of his shoe. When he picked up his foot, at first he didn't know what he was looking at. When he prodded it with his shoe, it became obvious that it was teeth, human teeth.

His frown deepened. He looked back at the wall and stepped closer. He didn't bother checking when his feet crunched over other things. There was a latch in the wall.

Izaya stepped over to him, the coat obscuring the bottom of his face. "It's probably better if you don't look inside there," he said.

"Why?"

Izaya looked up at him with slightly guarded eyes. "What do you think we've been standing and breathing in?"

Shizuo blinked back at him. He was about to say sand, but Izaya spoke once more.

"What remains is mostly calcium phosphates with some other minerals and trace elements. None of it is any sort of health hazard to the environment or to the living...You still don't really get it, do you?" He spoke clearly and clinically. "When subjugated to extreme flames, the soft tissues tightens and vaporizes, the skin splits, blisters and discolors, muscles flex and char, and what's left of the bones calcifies and begins to crumble and flake. About two kilograms is all that remains, well, it mostly depends on the bone structure of the individual. Do you understand now?"

Shizuo could, but he really didn't want to. He didn't want to believe it.

He went over to the latch and lifted it. It resembled a massive oven. Behind that where two small handles and he pulled open the thick sheet of metal easily. Gravelly fragments and ash fell from the elevated platform, and from where he stood, there were piles more. Again he was hit with that charcoal and acrid smell of noxious fumes that he immediately identified as rotting flesh. It was so strong that he could almost taste it.

At the center of this were a few more bodies. A bright light blinked next to him, and the flea had his phone out, taking a picture.

Shizuo promptly let the metal doors drop into place.

He didn't want to breathe in a second more of this. As quickly as he could move without bringing up a storm of ash and dust, he went up the stairs and didn't give the corpse in the barbed wire a glance as he barged through the broken door.

Breathing in this air still wasn't clean enough. Without looking to see where Izaya was, but hearing the flea exit from the building, he started walking along the shore. He shut the flashlight lantern off and stuck it into the black bag. Whatever was in there had better been worth it.

Ash was all over his pants and stuck to his skin on his arms and torso. He was dirty and disgusting. He wished that he had listened to the flea and hadn't opened the doors to the crematorium.

That could very well be where they end up.


	11. A Bull Charges at the Stirring of a Cape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya wanted to outright laugh. Parasitic was closer than Shizuo would ever know.

The island was perfect for the study of taphonomy, with the humidity, insects, heat and unlimited supply of cadavers.

Izaya was so glad that whoever operated this project had the ingenious idea to build a crematorium. That was probably the only thing he could not find fault in. He didn't want to imagine the place as a plague of bodies undergoing different stages of decomposition, but the mental images came of skin slippage, bloating, insect infestations, mummification, and leathery discolored skin. The fetor of rot, probably so pervasive that the taste of it would be imbued onto his palate forever.

No. He was very glad.

They weren't even human anymore. Whatever existence they once had was gone. There was nothing that Izaya could love about the ashy and gravelly remains of humans.

He didn't feel remorse, pity, or adoration for the deceased. It was all a numb apathy that cooled his head from reacting in a visceral way. But for Shizuo, who was currently trying to wash his upper body in the ocean, the same couldn't be said for him. Izaya had seen real disgust and horror in his eyes, but he hadn't felt any pleasure from it. Because a monster shouldn't feel anything but glee or disdain for a human's suffering. A monster shouldn't have such human responses. Shizuo had been more affected than Izaya, which was preposterous considering who actually loved humans.

The odds should have turned Shizuo into a monster. He should have succumbed, even now while against constant death. So why was it that the more Izaya wanted to prod the monster awake, the more the beast appeared human? It just didn't make sense.

Shizuo could have killed someone easily back in Ikebukuro, even by accident. But he never had. He had the strength to do so and a temper that made him incredibly volatile to idiots.

Izaya was the only one Shizuo hated enough to actually kill, and yet he hadn't done so. Even when he had multiple opportunities and when Izaya had asked for it. But why would he go against his nature?

Maybe Shizuo wasn't as monstrous as he wanted to believe.

The thought alarmed him with disgust.

He quickly rejected that line of thinking, instead focusing on the supple leather between his fingers.

It was a wallet he had taken from the first rigid corpse, having slipped it out from the man's pants right next to a dark, still wet piss stain. He hadn't been able to collect any more wallets, the second body inaccessible, and the third tangled in a cage of barbed wire.

He flipped the soft grey leather open and immediately saw the few brightly colored Euro bills. He didn't bother counting the money as he went straight for the slim plastic cards. What he was looking for was any type of identification. He pulled out a driver's license, reading the name and address to memorize it.

Izaya glanced up as he heard Shizuo approach and he stuck the wallet into the black bag. He didn't really want to have to explain that he was cataloging as many people as he could, that way he'd be able to pinpoint those responsible for putting them on the island. And it was in his nature to record anything that could be used against these people later.

Izaya was very lucky that there were about a dozen wallets in the bag, all empty of cash and credit cards, but other personal info remained. There were some dead cell phones too. He had seen this while going through the bag earlier in the dark, but he hadn't touched anything since stepping out into the too bright sunlight and feeling a lingering irritation at Shizuo's behavior.

Brown downcast eyes, darkened from behind tinted shades, met his. Shizuo then looked at the bag by Izaya's feet, having dropped it there earlier before feeling the need to wash up. Izaya too was probably dusty around the edges, and while wearing black he knew it was visible. But Shizuo didn't comment on that.

"What's in the bag?" Shizuo asked, already getting down and sitting across from Izaya.

The water damped blond bangs making them appear darker and messy. Shizuo had washed off the black and grey soot, but he was still rubbing his arms in an absent-minded manner. He had been meticulous enough that even his short fingernails were clean, but Izaya imagined an imperceptible dirtiness that clung to him.

He took this all in seconds before pushing the bag closer to the other man. He almost smirked when Shizuo gave it a glance of disgust. Izaya wasted no time flipping the bag over and allowing the contents to tumble out between them. A little bit of ash and fine bone fragments mixed in with the sand as he did so.

There was more here than he first had perceived, now being able to clearly see it all. Izaya would have actually liked to have met the man who had left these things here because all of it was a tad telling to what had been a worker's personal items and what he had stolen from the bodies. There were different colored wallets, phones, tons of popped pill cases, empty Ziploc bags that Izaya could safely assume had been the home of drugs, but more importantly, there were things that they could actually use.

Izaya was drawn to the square-shaped packets of food. The words on them were Sezamki Aha! There were seven grainy looking treats in total. What made Izaya just as pleased was the half a container of minty xylitol gum. There was a white and green carton of cigarettes, the brand Winston, flavored menthol. American blend was written on the side, and on the front of the package had a warning message in Russian that smoking kills. Izaya picked up the carton, opening to find that only a few had been used. He closed it before tossing it to Shizuo who caught it before it could smack him in the chest.

"Hey, watch it," Shizuo said with a frown as he peered at the carton and shook it. "Who the fuck can smoke these while burning bodies, huh? That's sick."

Izaya perked up, not having thought of that before. "Hmm? Is someone inspired to quit smoking?"

Shizuo grumbled, flicking open the top of the pack and looking inside at the cigarettes. He pulled one out between his fingers examining the pristine stick that was stark white as bone. He hesitated a moment before lighting one up and taking a drag. He coughed, taking it out immediately and grimacing.

"Disgusting. Tastes like mouthwash."

The corner of Izaya's mouth quirked up in a grin. "Maybe he didn't want to breathe in smoke that tasted too similar to something burning but wanted a taste that could somewhat clean his mouth. Isn't that interesting?"

"No," Shizuo said as he brought it to his lips and tried it again.

It was quite interesting that Shizuo could smoke so soon after coming out of a crematorium. Either Shizuo really needed nicotine that badly or he was mentally trying not to associate smoking with what he had seen.

"Aren't you bothered at all to be smoking?" Izaya asked. The smell was indeed minty. While he waited for a response, he pressed the power button on a few phones, hoping that one worked. But so far they were all dead.

"Yeah, I hate it. But it calms me down too," Shizuo then pointed to a bulky black phone. "That's weird? There's no screen."

It was half submerged in a pile of clear plastic bags, and as Izaya glanced at it, he realized that it wasn't a phone at all. He sucked in a short breath, because, shit this was something! He reached for it quickly, pulling it out and almost cradling it in his good hand.

"It's a two-way radio," he said. A handheld walkie-talkie that could possibly enable them to talk to those watching them now, that was, if it could reach that far.

Shizuo too leaned in closer, the smoke drifting above him. "Shit, really?"

It was heavy in his hand as he turned it over. It looked like one suited for the military or police. He had to maneuver it so that he could turn a nob that controlled the volume and turned it on. A red light flickered at the corner and Izaya's heart rate jumped when he heard a low hum of static. He turned the volume up and the static became louder, though it would cut off at times.

"Can you call someone for help?"

"I doubt it reaches that far, but if someone is close enough to the island then it's possible." He pressed down on a side button, the static cleared and he brought it closer so that he could speak to it. " _Hello? Can anyone receive this message_?" He spoke in English. He released the button and turned up the radio. The red light dimmed, blinking more and cutting off the static. "Come on."

" _Hello_?" He spoke in Russian, now, and waited for a response. There was nothing but static. "We're too far from anyone else; they must use this to communicate while on the island." He turned the knob off.

"You think if we climb that mountain again we can reach a signal?" Shizuo asked.

"It doesn't work like that, and it's not like they are going to send a rescue party for us." Izaya flipped it over once more. He opened the back and checked the battery. It was long and black, nothing that could be easily replaced. He dug through the other wallets and phones, hoping to find a spare battery. There wasn't any.

"But what if we reached a different channel or something?"

"We are on an island probably somewhere who knows where in the Indian Ocean, Shizu-chan. There is no other channel."

Under a brown wallet was a small bottle, and Izaya picked it up. It had a quarter amount of viscous liquid and Izaya popped the top open. From where his hand was by his knee he could smell the alcohol. "Look it's hand sanitizer," he said, after reading the English on the bottle. He had a small glop on his palm before passing it over to Shizuo who applied a copious amount all the way to his elbows. Izaya wouldn't have been surprised if Shizuo put it in his hair. "Great, now we're 99.9 percent germ-free. Feels fantastic."

Shizuo didn't respond as he capped the top and put it down.

Izaya began to sort the pile by items. It took him a few minutes and Shizuo watched the shoreline while smoking.

He went through the wallets first, reading each name and address, and he occasionally took pictures when the names were too foreign that he had difficulty pronouncing it in his head. All the wallets had been stripped of their money and cards. By the seventh one, Izaya smiled when he found a square of foil.

"Oh, why isn't it our good friend?" The sunlight glinted off the purple foil as if with magic. "Look, I found a replacement for your previous boyfriend who you mercilessly popped." Shizuo turned his head.

"Ah fuck, not this again," Shizuo said with a frown and he actually groaned. "Can you give that a rest?"

"But Shizu-chan, you shouldn't be so picky about love. This time I'll even let you name him. No wait, never mind, I got this."

"I am this close to strangling you." Shizuo had his free hand up a minuscule space between his fingers but there might as well have been no space at all.

"Ah, what sweet memories," Izaya sighed, "The tragic death of Willy-san, the expired condom. And now we have this, a Trojan ecstasy condom for her pleasure. How truly beautiful. Why Trojan-san," Izaya said as he revelry held the condom up and glanced at Shizuo who looked increasingly more annoyed. "Do you think you can hold out better than in the Trojan War when men swarmed free from under the massive wooden horse cock and-"

The cigarette bent in Shizuo's hand and he tossed it on the sand.

"-took siege of Troy-" Izaya finished and he stuck the condom packet into the inside of his coat pocket for Trojan-san's safety as well as for his own. "I'm done, I'm done," he said very quickly with his hands up. Shizuo might very well try to strangle him again with it. And Izaya really didn't want his death to be recorded as asphyxiation from a condom.

"Maybe it's too soon, can't expect to replace Willy-san, ne?"

"Yeah, I had him for years, jerk," Shizuo pulled out a new cigarette and lit it. "Give me a break and don't mention him ever again."

"Here, this might help you with your grief," Izaya passed over a packet of Sezamki.

Shizuo looked at the packet and turned it over. He furrowed his brows as he eyed the foreign words. "What is it?"

"A snack, you know…sustenance? Omm nom nom nom?" Izaya smirked at Shizuo's unamused expression.

"I know it's food, you ass," Shizuo grumbled. "I'm not really in the mood to eat." Shizuo gave him a halfhearted glare before staring back towards the ocean.

Izaya picked up a new wallet and searched the slots. This one had no cards, but a few Polaroid pictures that he pulled out to get a closer look at. There were three of them. Two of them with young children with curly black hair and dark skin and the last print was of two children with what was probably his parents. It was grainy and well-worn and Izaya liked the photos a lot. It looked like a well-loved family, but the man in the picture, the father, most likely had some trouble with some kind of organized crime that got him here.

He turned the pictures over, but the backs of the photos were all blank. He really wanted to know more about them and he ended up sticking the photos into his own wallet.

"What are you doing?" Shizuo asked him. Izaya hadn't noticed Shizuo's attention had returned while he had been so engrossed with staring at the photos. Those brown eyes traveled back up from Izaya's pocket where he had put his own wallet.

He shrugged. "The photos looked well treasured by someone, kind of a waste for them to just disappear."

"You mean the people look well treasured." Shizuo was leaning back on one arm, his other arm lazily resting down by his knee before returning to his mouth.

"Yeah," Izaya said with a frown. "That was implied. Anyway, I'm almost done looking through the rest of these."

Shizuo looked with mild skepticism at the wallets that Izaya had thoroughly examined before seeming to lose interest, returning his gaze towards the shore. He was mostly dry but some water droplets trailed slowly down the expanse of his torso, all the way to the edge of his tailored pants. The way that he was leaning back accented how slim he was, the trace of toned muscles there apparent without him needing to flex.

Izaya had at first been so entertained that half of Shizuo's precious bartender uniform had disappeared, but now the hilarity had dulled. He wished that Shizuo hadn't forgotten it when he had chased him along the stream.

With less enthusiasm and a slight sulk, Izaya resumed rummaging through the last remaining wallets. He hadn't even said anything when he pulled out another condom, this one a generic yellow square of foil. Opting that it had various uses, he put it in his pocket.

He had a good list in his head, and on his phone, of names and addresses from all of the wallets. Of the cell phones, there were only six of them, and all but one was dead but on critical battery life. He took the SIM cards out and put them in a clear plastic bag. It all went to a different pocket in the inside of his coat.

Setting aside all of the wallets and phones, all that was left was the empty plastic bottle, the snacks, the gum, the lantern styled flashlight, hand sanitizer, and the walkie-talkie. He kept the remaining empty plastic bags but added the popped pill cases with the wallets and dead phones that he was going to leave here.

Izaya sat back with his chin slightly tipped up as he took a deep breath and looked beyond the overhanging of fanning leaves to the sky where the sun had moved far in the course of the day. There were more sparse looking clouds.

"You okay?" Shizuo asked. Izaya sat up straighter and tipped his gaze back down. "You don't look so good."

Izaya smirked. In fact, he was somewhat surprised that Shizuo made it seem like he halfheartedly cared and that he hadn't just gone ahead and said that he looked like shit. He brought a knee up to his chest and rested his arms and head on it. "I'm just peachy."

"You're exhausted, you better eat something." There was a crinkling as Shizuo picked up one the snacks and tossed it up so that Izaya caught it with his right hand. "You said you were hungry, right?"

He looked at the yellow and blue packaging with distaste. "I wasn't ever hungry to begin with."

Shizuo grinned, but there wasn't anything happy about it. "Of course you weren't, anything to piss me off, huh?"

Izaya grinned back. "You mad, Shizu-chan?"

"Nah, I'm just peachy," Shizuo said with an even wider grin. "So peachy, that I've never felt peachier."

"Well isn't that grand that we are both so peachy?" Izaya said, tone mellifluous.

"Fuck, all this peach talk made me hungry." He stubbed his cigarette out and picked one of the Sezamki bars and opened it, fitting half of it in his mouth as it broke in two. It only took a few moments as his visage changed, from poorly masked anger to something almost complacent.

Izaya looked back at the package. The way that Shizuo was acting it was like the snacks were filled with drugs or like it was nirvanic.

He had never seen him eat like this. Back at school, the moment that Shizuo sensed that Izaya was near, even when everyone had lunch in their classrooms, he'd go into a fit and chase him away. Shizuo ate in a comparably bovine way, calm and so unexpectedly unlike him.

Izaya frowned as he used his teeth to open the package and from there he could inhale the sweet scent of sugar and sesame. Immediately he wrinkled his nose. He continued to watch the other man.

Shizuo was serenely chewing; ruminating so cow-like that Izaya wouldn't have been all too surprised, though at the same time still surprised if Shizuo started mooing from the looks of it. Izaya seriously considered taking a picture or a video.

Against his better judgment, to see if maybe Shizuo was reacting to some kind of feel good drug in the bar, Izaya did take a small bite of a corner and he cringed.

"Tastes like a sugar cube took a crap on my tongue," Izaya said with his tongue poking out.

"I know, isn't it great?" Shizuo replied from between his chewing. "Though I don't think it's  _that_  sweet." He finished it and was looking at the empty wrapper blankly.

"You can have mine if you want," Izaya held out the thin block of sugar and sesame.

Shizuo looked really tempted to do just that but he looked back at Izaya. "I still think you should eat though. You lost a good amount of blood. Might need the energy."

Izaya half contemplated just dropping the sugary treat and showing how much energy he had by stomping on it and watching Shizuo's horror and anger as he crushed his new beloved food. But even Izaya wasn't that shortsided to waste food.

Well, if he wanted to last the next full day with enough energy, then he would have to eat something. "Alright, fine," Izaya said as he took another small bite. It wasn't the worst sweet thing he had eaten since he actually liked sesame seeds when they weren't covered in glucose syrup and sugar.

He ate as quickly as he could and when he was done he picked up the white small plastic container of gum and took out two square shaped pieces of gum to neutralize the bad aftertaste of too sweet sugar. He was blowing bubbles with the gum half a minute later, letting them get so big that they popped.

"You can eat some more of those bars of sugar," Izaya said after blowing his sixth bubble. "I'd rather just have the gum."

"Nah, we'll split it. But I guess I'll just have one more." Shizuo ate one more, absently chewing with just the hint of a smile. Again Izaya wanted to take a video and edit it with cow sound effects if he ever got the chance. It was too good to pass up. He didn't even try to be discreet. He took out his phone and managed to get a pretty good angle as he recorded Shizuo for seven full seconds before Shizuo glared suspiciously at the phone hovering close to his face.

He set his phone down and ended the recording. "So what should we do next?" Izaya asked nonchalantly and he popped another bubble. He hit the play button and hid his smirk well as he watched the video to check the quality. Shizuo was just like a cow that could turn into a bull, and Izaya was the matador that incited the bull's wrath, waving a red cape and spearing the animal.

"I don't know, rest? It feels like a long ass day," Shizuo ran a hand through his hair that was nearly fully dry.

Izaya switched out of the camera settings and checked the time on his phone. "Well back home right now it's 9:16 at night, maybe here it's around 3 or 4. You could be jet-lagged."

"I'm not really tired, just kind of want to unwind."

Izaya smirked, thinking just how he could get Shizuo to unwind.

"Wouldn't it be better for us to continue to look for the antidote, though?" Izaya asked. He turned his phone off and put it back in his pocket.

Shizuo frowned and he trailed his hands through the sand at his sides. "What? You want to look through more buildings?"

No. Izaya didn't want to. Technically he knew it was a waste of time too, but if it made Shizuo miserable, and he collected more names, then he would do it. "We might just have to. Though, I doubt that they'll get worse than the crematory."

"I don't know," Shizuo furrowed his brows. "It doesn't really make sense that the antidote would be in one of the buildings since everyone starts in one. It's probably in the forest or something."

Izaya didn't let the incredulity show that Shizuo had actually come up with a valid argument. "So you think we should just walk around the forest and stumble upon it?"

"Obviously not, even _I_  could do that. You are supposed to figure it out, remember? That's why we're in this…parasitic partnership... thing. And you're the parasite, you flea."

 _Parasitic partnership thing_? Izaya wanted to outright laugh. Parasitic was closer than Shizuo would ever know.

"Alright, I know. Making me feel all the pressure, sheesh. Okay. We'll check out that side of the island tomorrow, alright? We'll traipse through the jungly forest, even swing via vines if it makes you happy. Though we should also get more water, especially now that we have a plastic bottle." He began to blow another bubble.

The plastic bottle was small, 20 ounces at most, but it would definitely help after all the sweating from the humidity.

"Fine," Shizuo still looked miffed, but he was placated enough. "So should we sleep around here at the beach or go further in where no one can see us?"

The bubble burst against his mouth.

He snickered as he peeled the gum from where it stuck to his face. "Yeah, where would be a good place to sleep around? I've never slept with anyone on the beach before or a forest for that matter. We should go further in that way, deeper, where no one can see us." Izaya pointed to the dense line of forest behind him. "Though I don't know how my backside's going to feel against something so hard. The ground can get a little rough."

Shizuo was giving him an odd look, and Izaya saw the exact moment when the protozoan's brain got it. Right when the look of exasperation crossed his face and he furrowed his brows as if Izaya had prodded the bull right between the horns.

"What's wrong, Shizu-chan? You look a little put out." Izaya feigned a look of concern.

"Would you stop that? Just be serious, dammit!"

"What are you talking about? I gave you a straight answer."

"No, you fucking didn't, Izaya!" Shizuo glared. The vein bulged clearly on his forehead. "Hah! You're right about that, I guess I gave you a 90-degree answer."

"Hah! You're right about that, I guess I gave you a 90-degree answer."

"See, you're doing it again. Just stop, stop it!"

"I'm doing it again?" Izaya chewed on his gum and blew another bubble, the pop loud in the brief silence. "Define 'doing it' for me? And for the record, this is only just the tip of the iceberg. I'll show you the biggest innuendo you've ever seen." 

"You're  _over_ doing it, stop."

"Ah, but you're just starting to get the grasp of it! Soon you'll be coming with your own." Izaya blew one more bubble, this one larger than the others and he stuck his tongue out from within it. Because of the white bubble obscuring part of his view he didn't react quick enough when Shizuo reached over and popped the bubble for him.

"And stop blowing bubbles, it's annoying."

Izaya shook his head. Really, Shizuo was just too easy to mess with. Practically digging his own grave. He got up just in case Shizuo would make a move. "Ah, but do you know what else I could blow to make you happy?" he paused for dramatic effect and reached into his pocket. "A frabjous condom balloon! Everyone loves condom balloons! I'll even draw a happy face on him, for good old times sake."

There was  _the_  most baffled look he had ever seen on Shizuo's face like he didn't know how to react. But just like all of his default reactions to Izaya's antics, the anger was beginning to overtake the confusion. "I thought I told you never to mention him again."

Or maybe it was Izaya who had dug his own grave? Taken the bull by the horns when he should have never been this close to begin with. "If you're going to start chasing me, can you at least carry all of this? Let's not make a repeat of your bartender shirt, ne?"  

There was a threatening edge to his grin. "I'll give you five seconds to pick up whatever you want."

"Yeah, well, what if I don't feel like running right now? Then what?"

"Five."

"Aw, did I soil your peachy good mood?" 

"Four."

"Stop counting so fast, I only have one working hand." Izaya was stuffing his neatly made piles into the black bag, getting sand in there as well.

"Three."

"You're enjoying this, you secretly thought it was funny otherwise you'd already be screaming my name."

"Two."

"Okay, I'll stop the jokes," Izaya said in a placating manner. He nearly had everything in the black bag. "So could you start using fractions or you could challenge yourself by counting from 10. Shizu-chan, it's so rude, you know, not listening when-"

"One."

Everything was in, he shot up with the bag in his hand, the sand in it making it heavier. Izaya had left all of the wallets and dead phones. Shizuo's eyes were locked onto his, and Izaya felt the thrill from it. "It's barely a head start."

"Go." Shizuo was behind him.

And he ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  桃 is もも and means peach, 股 is also もも and means thigh 太もも, ふともも also means thigh or ass  
> 桃色遊戯, ももいろゆうぎ - peach color play, means sex play.


	12. It's Almost a Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colors muted, air pollution gone, and the flea's scent fresh in his nose. Yeah, this almost felt good.

Loose dirt scattering in the air, humidity making him sweat, these things were lost on his path as he continued to surge through thick ferns that reached his knees. 

This was a chase that was different from the others. It wasn't because the scenery was unlike the urban jungle of Ikebukuro- this was a real jungle, a tropical rainforest with towering trees, flying and crawling with insects more plentiful than even people in Tokyo, buzzing with a different type of life. What was off was the lack of a blinding rage that usually set his pace desperate and completely focused on the need to crush this insect right in front of him. Colors muted, air pollution gone, and the flea's scent fresh in his nose, yeah, this almost felt good.

But this was in the back of Shizuo's mind as ferns whipped back from the force of their chase.

Without him having to stop to rip out things from the ground, Izaya was closer than usual, and Shizuo pursued, feeling better than he should. He wasn't even that annoyed, in fact, he was almost relieved. Relieved to be putting distance away from that concrete building and relieved to just be moving. The weariness from having to experience death was being replaced with the familiar fatigue, normal exhaustion, and Shizuo took it in with clear even strides.

"Izaya-kun! Watch out for snakes!" Shizuo yelled while pulling at a green vine hanging low from a tree and throwing it at Izaya. The flea faltered for a second when he ducked and the vine whizzed over his head.

"Hey! That's not very nice, Shizu-chan!" Izaya yelled back over his shoulder.

"Why don't you slow down, and I'll show you what nice is," Shizuo said, grin threatening.

Let the flea think he was running for his life, that made it all the more worth it. Hearing him cry out with disgust each time he accidentally went through a spider web, and Shizuo felt his spirits lift. He hoped that the pest got caught in one. But Izaya was quick, just a few breaths ahead of Shizuo and never seemingly able to tire.

Shizuo was completely fixated, thinking that maybe this time he could actually run Izaya to the ground, that he didn't see the man caked in mud at first.

Neither had Izaya. But the flea was agile as ever, able to gracefully swerve away from the edge of a machete, and the black bag missed from being sliced open; it thudded against his back as he continued to run.

The mud covered man stood in Shizuo's way, his eyes, shiny black with pupils dilated, were like the barrel ends of a shotgun. The machete lifted high in the air and Shizuo grabbed it, the dull tip tugging at the skin of his palms and unable to cut. It broke in two, parts of it twisting back.

Shizuo glared at the man. "You're lucky I'm chasing a flea, otherwise I'd return the favor to you," he said.

A dirty grin was his response and Shizuo frowned, thinking that he found another idiot. He swung his arm, meaning to knock the man out, but the dirt caked idiot arched back quickly.

He spoke in an unfamiliar language, a new smaller knife was in his hands. Izaya's footsteps were becoming faint, and Shizuo was getting pissed.

"Back off," his voice lowered. The man sprang towards him, and Shizuo swatted him back as if he were a fly. However, just like a fly, the man flew back and came at him once more with his knife poised.

Shizuo's fingers just missed the muddy body. He had enough. He surged forward pushing down trees as he tried to catch the man. Finally, his hand grasped the back of a dirt caked shirt and Shizuo lifted and flung him into a tree. He didn't even bother to check if the man was unconscious or not as he returned to follow Izaya. Less than a minute had passed since this little run-in, but knowing Izaya, that was enough to put real distance between them.

So Izaya wanted to make this a challenge? Well, fuck him! Shizuo ran faster than before, even more determined. It was so typical for the flea to just leave him to fight whoever interrupted their chase, but this time Shizuo couldn't afford to be left behind.

He went in the direction that Izaya had gone, his feet kicking up dirt and ferns as he raced on. A few minutes passed and still he couldn't see him, even though he knew that he had gone in this direction. He broke through a familiar clearing of fallen trees, and Shizuo spared a moment to breathe. It took him a few seconds to realize why this area was familiar.

The supine man that he had tried to rip the metal collar off had died here, looking too agonized to pretend that he was only just sleeping.

A stirring of dull pain, partly shame and remorse, lingered through him for this man that he could not help and he wished that he had time to do something better than leaving him here like this. 

He then stopped, noticing that blood was oozing beyond that man's sleeve. He couldn't even remember how the man had injured himself- maybe when he had been choking. But it just made his stomach clench knowing that he had suffered more than he should have. "I'm sorry," he mumbled and continued to run.

Izaya shouldn't be that far ahead, Shizuo told himself, as he took in a deep breath of air and followed the path Izaya had gone. He wasn't that familiar with the geography of the island, but judging from which direction Izaya had gone, turning sharply left at one point, it was a good bet that he went in the direction of where the source of water had been.

Roughly a quarter of an hour later, Shizuo stepped out to the pool of water that looked fit to be on a cover of a travel magazine, this time around was just as pretty as the first. He was breathing hard and turned slowly in a full circle, trying to spot where Izaya could be hiding.

"Izaya? Oi!"

Had Izaya not gone this way? Shizuo frowned and stepped along the water's edge. Maybe the flea went further than this?

He kept his eyes trained along the trees for any movement as he went further to the end of the pool. He went closer to the bank and dipped his hands in the cool clear water before splashing it over his face and running his hands through his damp hair.

Had he followed the wrong trail, or gotten it wrong? It could even be possible that Izaya had ditched him. The thought pissed him off.

"Alright, where are you?" Shizuo shouted. "I'm not going to hurt you!" Well, not that much. 

He waited ten long seconds as he walked around the pool, trying hard to think past his anger. "Fuck," Shizuo muttered. If that mud man hadn't interrupted him, then Shizuo was sure that he would have been able to chase Izaya down. Maybe scare him a little or throw him into the water or something.

But now...where was Izaya? He was fucked if he had to figure this out alone. He couldn't scour this huge island for an antidote by himself! He didn't know the first fucking place to look. Something snapped behind him and he turned to see Izaya walking out from the dense trees that he had passed to get here.

"You thought that I left you, didn't you?" Izaya said with glee, his breathing still slightly uneven and his cheeks colored from exertion. "You were actually worried, right?"

He really didn't want to admit to that, because he already felt stupid for feeling relieved. Shizuo frowned and didn't say anything.

"Hmm?" Izaya put the bag down with a grin. "Shizu-chan shouldn't chase me if he's so slow, in more ways than one."

"Oh, shut up." Shizuo grumbled, "if you do run off then I'll hunt you down, easy."

Izaya grinned wider at that and sat down, letting himself collapse onto his back. He took a few deep breaths. Shizuo watched his chest rise and fall, and he wondered if this was how Izaya looked after he successfully was able to evade him back in Ikebukuro. But then again... It could be that he had pushed the flea too hard, 'cause Izaya looked to be even more exhausted. But it served him right for being a pest.

Shizuo looked back at the crystal clean water. He washed his hands once more before drinking from it. It reminded him of those nice outdoor onsens, except without hot water. He really wanted a bath. Wanted to feel clean, and wash off more than just sweat.

Starting at his shoes and socks then moving to his belt buckle, he began to strip.

"What are you doing?" Izaya sat up again. "You're going to contaminate the water!"

Shizuo didn't care. "Sucks for you then," he said as he placed his folded tailored pants down, close enough to keep a close eye on. He contemplated taking off his boxers, but he figured that he might as well wash them in the water.

"Hold on a second." Izaya was rummaging through the bag by his feet before taking out the water bottle, unscrewing the top and going over to rinse it out.

"Yeah, as if that's not contaminated enough for you," Shizuo shook his head before stepping into the water.

"I said wait," Izaya muttered as he scooted further away and glared at the ripples coming his way from where Shizuo had entered the water. "Can't follow simple directions."

"Ah, this is nice," Shizuo said before dunking completely under. And it was nice, soothing even. Even from under the water, Izaya was still rinsing the plastic bottle till he deemed it clean enough and then he filled it up. It went in the bag.

Izaya took out the hand sanitizer and rubbed his hand, and carefully put some on his left hand where his fingers were.

Shizuo resurfaced. He rubbed the back of his neck as water ran down from his hair. "It's just like an outdoor bath," he said. "I always wanted to try one like this."

Izaya huffed as he cupped the water with one hand and drank.

"Come in here, you'll feel better."

Izaya made a face as he swallowed more water. "Sorry, I don't bathe with monsters."

"Well, you stink, so get in here."

"I do not," Izaya shrugged. "And your persuasion skills are terribly lacking, which is not a surprise."

Shizuo found a place where he was level enough to sit cross-legged with the water resting over his shoulders. "Heh, hate to break it to you," Shizuo chuckled, "but your flea smell is always awful."

"Rude," Izaya huffed, but he looked at the water and then picked at his clothes. A second later and he was taking off his jacket and untucking the uneven end of his shirt from his pants and pulling it over his head. He was unlatching his belt buckle when he looked up with a smirk.

"What are you waiting for—a striptease?"

"From you?" Shizuo laughed as he shook his head and stretched back to get comfortable. "No. But I do recall that someone was going to show me the biggest innuendo I've ever seen. Were those only big words?"

Izaya placed his hands on his hips. "I never deal in empty words, Shizu-chan. But did I say I was talking about my dick? Is that what you were thinking about?" Izaya said with a sly smirk.

"You implied it." Shizuo shrugged.

"Nope, you inferred it."

"Whatever, I don't give a shit anyway. And I've never been more proud not knowing something." Shizuo cupped more water and brought it over his head and he ignored Izaya's chuckles. He had thought this earlier, that maybe the reason Izaya was so aggressive with his innuendos was because of what he had said, about Izaya staring at his ass and making fun of him for it, and now this was his revenge or something. Or this was his way of proving how much he wasn't bothered by it. Or he was just being an ass. Well, for whatever reason, it was stupid.

He heard the soft splash as Izaya stepped in and ripples of water traveled across the surface. He went further off.

If anyone had said yesterday that he would be on an island, bathing next to Izaya, and Izaya  _wasn't_  a floating dead body, then he would have punched that person for even mentioning Izaya.

But now...things were all muddled. Complicated. And he didn't want to sort out why.

He ducked under the water, to clear his mind, and stayed like that for as long as he could. When he resurfaced Izaya tsked.

"I was secretly hoping that you had drowned, you were under so long," he said in a bored manner.

He turned to look over at Izaya, who was careful of how he stuck his left arm out of the water, but otherwise, he was submerged to his chin. Crocodiles came to Shizuo's mind.

Shizuo drifted a little closer and immediately Izaya was on guard, daring him. Something that wasn't the reflection of the water glinted, and he saw that it was a knife.

"As I was saying before, y'know a while ago," Shizuo said and now more careful with how he phrased his wording. "So where do you want to sleep, flea?" 

"Up yours."

Shizuo splashed water on him violently, making a large enough wave that it could have been from the ocean. He had the satisfaction of hearing Izaya cough and the rest of his annoyance began to lessen as he stared up into the sky where there were some clouds going by. They sat in silence for a bit. The clouds were pleasant, fluffy ones and Shizuo closed his eyes when it got too bright for his eyes.

He could hear the water dripping as Izaya tried to get the water from out his ear. "I don't want to sleep on the ground, too many bugs," he finally said. Shizuo opened his eyes and looked over as Izaya ran a hand through his bangs. "Though it seems like a lot of trouble to try to sleep in the trees where the branches are mostly too high or thin, and there's always the chance that you could roll off— though only that would be dangerous for me."

That really didn't leave that many choices. And going back to the beach? Or anywhere else sounded like a hassle. "There is always over there," Izaya pointed up, where the mountain was. "It's quite difficult for anyone to sneak up on us then."

The view would be nice. Like earlier. "Alright," he said. "up there, it is."

Izaya just smirked to himself.

Shizuo stood up, letting the water stream down him in even smaller rivulets, before stepping back onto the land. He was much better now, after that run and after what he had seen for the day. He just wanted to lie down and stare at the sky. Izaya soon came from the water and Shizuo didn't mention anything about the huge bruises along the flea's back that he caught a glimpse of.

They dried off, waiting a bit before putting on their clothes. This time Izaya shoved the bag in his arms as they began to walk.

Without saying much, it felt longer as they ascended. Shizuo thought about home to pass the time. Wondering if Tom-san was trying to reach him, or if anyone had gone to his door and found him gone. How long would it take before they really thought something was off? It was probably better that they didn't know where he was. But if he never got home, what would they think? That he ran away? No one would believe that he had gotten kidnapped, right? They'd think he'd decided to leave without telling anyone anything.

And Izaya? Did anyone wonder where he had gone? Probably not. He did have that secretary though. If she called the police... It's not like they would be able to find either of them here. But if someone noticed that they were both missing? Would they think that maybe he had killed Izaya...or something equally stupid, and then gone into hiding? Maybe they'd think that.

"Hey, you think anyone noticed that we are both missing?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya looked over, the area under his eyes slightly darker, but everything else as bright and quick as ever. "I think everyone noticed that it's oddly peaceful in Ikebukuro today, beyond that...give it two more days and rumors will be flying."

"Yeah? Like what?"

Izaya smiled, self-satisfied with whatever entertained his thoughts. "It's all amusing, really, what humans come up with. Normally the simplest explanation is what people would assume. But when it involves the both of us..." Izaya's smile widened. "There will be an entire spectrum of rumors from our beloved Ikebukuro residents, ranging from we killed each other in a death match to...well you probably don't want to know."

"That bad, huh?" Shizuo said.

"Yeah, if you know what I mean."

Shizuo didn't really know what Izaya meant, but he knew that he wouldn't like it.

Izaya chuckled to himself, "and if I were to be back home then, I'd be spurring the rumors on."

"Not the bad ones, right?"

"Hmm? You mean the truly awful ones? Nah, that will already be taken care of." Shizuo caught the hard look in the flea's eyes for a second before it turned into something poised on the brink of amicable. "That's if we get back home," he said with a shrug and looked away. Shizuo didn't respond.

The mountain loomed ahead and from here the sun was no longer glaring down at them, now reaching the horizon over the ocean. The humidity was cool against his skin.

Reaching the rock face jutting over their heads, this time they didn't make a fuss about how to get up. With the flea clinging to his back, and the black bag tied around Izaya's left elbow, Shizuo climbed. He didn't even have to picture Gandhi, which in and of itself was a miracle, and Shizuo would have pat himself on the back if Izaya wasn't currently there.

He pulled them both over, and the top was as beautiful as he remembered, too beautiful for what was happening in the cover of trees. Izaya slipped down without a word.

The ground was somewhat uneven, but there were places that looked comfortable enough that they could stretch out. And it was true, from here it would be difficult for someone to sneak up on them- well as long as someone kept watch.

"You can sleep first. I'll stay up," Shizuo said.

Izaya frowned and wrapped the front of his jacket around his torso. He looked over the ledge where there was a good drop to the ground. Maybe he had second thoughts about being here. "Hmm, and you won't throw me at the people who might try to come up here, right?"

Shizuo grinned. "I'll try really hard not to, okay."

"Great," Izaya said and pulled out his phone from his pocket, turning it on. A moment later he said, "back home it's five past ten. Yeah, still pretty early."

"Do whatever you want, just don't bother me." Shizuo stretched before finding a seat that overlooked where the sun was heading to set. Sunglasses on and the wind brushing against his hair, he stared out at the scenery. A minute later he took out a cigarette and lit one. He was prepared for the minty taste this time.

By the time the cigarette was done, Shizuo glanced over to where Izaya was lying and using his good arm as a pillow. He was facing away with a knife by his side. He wouldn't be surprised if Izaya slept with his knives.

He noticed that Izaya's hair was still damp at the ends, messy from how it dried. The only time that came close to how disheveled he looked was when Shizuo had thrown that trashcan at him years back, and a half-full shake spilled out all over the side of his shoulder and other garbage littered where he picked himself up. That time had been laughable, and still brought a smile to his face when he needed some cheering up.

Cheering up, huh?

Shizuo looked out at the scenery, the sun's rays warmed his face. He was sure that he hated this island. Killing other people for someone else's amusement- Shizuo hated that. He hated the people who put him here on this island. He also hated the thought of becoming like the other killers here, and he wasn't even sure if it was all just killing to survive. It was revolting, really.

He lit another cigarette. As the hours passed, he smoked a few more.

The sunset was probably one of the most beautiful that he had ever seen, more colors than he ever thought possible in the sky, but he couldn't enjoy it. Now when he heard faint agonized screams in the distance. The night sky was something completely else, nothing like over Ikebukuro. He had never seen the Milky Way before, never even knew that it was possible to see. But there it was: a streak of stars so vibrant and plentiful, it reminded him of purple and white stitches across a wound, as if there was a tear in the sky and stars were spilling out.

It was dazzling; splendid and ethereal as it was haunting and painful to look at. It reminded him of Izaya's hand.

Hadn't he said that he had almost been raped? Shizuo frowned from where his thoughts had taken him. He hadn't wanted to believe it then, didn't want to think about it, hoping that it was something that the flea had been making up. But on this island, yeah, something like that was possible and Shizuo felt revulsion rise in him. He couldn't blame Izaya for what he had done. Maybe it was a good thing he hadn't dropped that tree on him hard enough to actually kill. Maybe before he would have thought that Izaya deserved whatever shit happened to him, but now to think that was no better than the people who put them on the island.

Shizuo rubbed his eyes, feeling tired the way his neck was positioned to gaze at the stars.

His last thoughts struck him hard. As terrible and pathetic as it sounded, he was reluctantly grateful that Izaya was here with him, and not because if he was here then he was far away from Ikebukuro. But for reasons that he would never have associated with Izaya. Because even though Izaya was a pest, he was still a distraction from the terrible things here. In a way that made him feel almost okay. And as much as he hated to admit it, he kind of needed that.

It was roughly fifteen minutes later that helicopters came overhead, and Shizuo was still fool enough to believe that was a good thing.


	13. 。.:*・°Through the Moon with You ミ☆

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We're both dysfunctional, alright. So that's it."

His first thought before fully awakening was that the helicopters were part of his dream. It only took a second later for his mind to catch up with his current situation—that he wasn't in his own bed, but on the uneven granite expanse of a mountaintop. On an island with Heiwajima Shizuo. He opened his eyes. He really did not expect to see so many stars.

Izaya sat up, his back ached from how he had been sleeping on tender bruises. He felt more tired than when he had first fallen asleep. There was a cool breeze and he zippered up his jacket.

It took him a moment to see Shizuo sitting not quite two meters away. He was looking in the direction where the whine and sound of rotor blades whirling came from. Izaya stretched with his arms way over his head, feeling how tight his back and shoulder muscles were. His left hand thrummed with pain as he moved it. He picked up the knife that he left at his side and slipped it into his right pocket.

Shizuo still hadn't moved, even as Izaya rummaged through the black bag and took out the two-way radio. After waiting for his phone to turn on, he checked the time. It was 3:16 in Japan. Five hours had passed. It was longer than he expected to be napping. Had Shizuo seriously sat there for five hours?

"You could have woken me up earlier," Izaya said lazily as he stepped closer and took a seat to observe the helicopters better. By now they had reached the island. Izaya counted nine of them, black and sleek metal that blended with the night sky. He rubbed his eyes.

Shizuo didn't say anything, but he shrugged, the movement of his shoulders caught in the dim light. He could just make out Shizuo's expression. It looked far calmer than he expected, almost relaxed.

But then again, Shizuo probably was too stupid to realize what was happening. Izaya shook his head slowly, a small smile on his face as he imagined briefly what it would be like to live so simply.

He watched as some of the helicopters made smooth landings on different concrete rooftops, others traveled further on. Even from where they were,  darkly clad figures coming out of the aircraft. In some areas, men were lowered down from rope ladders, descending into the line of trees.

"This should be close enough," Izaya mused as he turned the knob of the radio on.

This seemed to get Shizuo's attention. But after a few minutes passed, his brows furrowed.

Now the men were dragging up bodies to the rooftops, one by one.

"What are they doing?" He had a frown on his face. Izaya turned his eyes towards him and couldn't stop the grin from forming.

"Tidying up."

"What's that supposed to..." He paused, face scrunching up as he winced.

What did he expect? He should have learned by now that nothing good was going to happen on this island.

"Did you think that someone was coming to rescue us?" Izaya smiled into the palm of his hand. He almost laughed at the conflicted look Shizuo had on his face. "Hmm?"

"Not really," Shizuo muttered.

" _Clear in—te_."

They both looked down to the radio in Izaya's hand. Now they could only hear the low static hum, but the radio had definitely picked up someone speaking English with a thick accent.

"What did he say?" Shizuo asked.

"Clear in something."

" _Proceedi-_ " the static hummed, " _building one—ver."_

"What about now?"

"I think it said, proceeding, then building one, something over," Izaya wanted to turn up the volume, but with the battery dying it wouldn't do much good. "Maybe it's from that helicopter."

He pointed to a helicopter lifting off from one concrete building. It had a thin, barely visible rope hanging from it and attached to the end was a bundle. It didn't take that long to see the end was made up of bodies; limbs dangled in the air.

As pretty and bright as the stars were, Izaya thought, it would have been prettier not to be able to see this. But then again... He turned to watch Shizuo's expression, his features half masked in darkness, but there was that unsettled look. Those brown eyes, almost black as the surrounding night around them, followed that small bundle.

"See, they are cleaning up," Izaya's voice was soft.

The response didn't come right away, but after, as they watched as those bodies were released into the building with the crematorium. "That's not cleaning."

" _Clear- build—our_.  _Proceeding to buil—over._ "

More neatly wrapped packages flew in the sky. Dropping down where smoke began to ascend.

Izaya set the radio down and took out his phone, hoping that his camera could pick this up in the meager light. The quality was nothing that he wanted.

"— _n number 67— not backing down. Will ta— riate action. Repeat. I have a man—in pursuit num—7—down. Will take appropriate act—."_

A series of three gunshots were fired.

" _Situ— resol—ver._ "

"Can you speak to them?" Shizuo asked. He looked annoyed but also unnerved.

"And what do you think I should say?" Izaya asked clearly amused.

"I don't know, do what you normally do and talk your way out of shit."

"Yeah, as if that ever worked with you. And I can't even hold a conversation here with this battery."

"Just do it, alright!" Shizuo ran a hand through his hair and frowned back at him.

Izaya sighed as he put down his phone. He knew it was a terrible idea, but Shizuo was giving him a look like he would soon force him to do this, and Izaya didn't think it could do much harm when the men on the other end wouldn't even hear him. He held down the side button before speaking.

" _Hello gentlemen_ ," he spoke in clear English and then waited for a response.

He waited a full minute and still nothing.

"See, nothing."

"Let me do it," Shizuo grabbed the device from his hand. He could already imagine the radio splintered into a million pieces. It took him a few tries to figure it out before Izaya showed him how it worked while reminding him not to break it.

"Hey, you fucking assholes! You better get over here and get us off of this annoying ass island or I'll go over there and kill you now!"

He delicately removed the pressure from the side button, and they waited for a response. Once again none came.

"Very good, Shizu-chan. But can you try again, this time in English?"

"Fuck that," Shizuo grumbled, "you do it." He shoved the walkie-talkie back into his hand, all in one piece.

He waited a few more moments before speaking into it once more.

" _He said that he'll start throwing things at your helicopters if you don't end this game. And I repeat, He will start throwing things at your helicopters if you do not end this game._ "

They waited, listening to the choppy hum of static.

"You think they got the message?"

"Hard to say with the battery cutting off. And even if we are being recorded right now, doesn't mean that these people here can hear us now. Whatever the case, they are probably ignoring us."

"Arg! Pisses me off. Maybe I should start throwing things." The wind caught the ends of Shizuo's hair, this time from the front as if the helicopters churning the air could reach them here.

"It seems like someone got shot for trying to take one of the men down. And also can you even throw that far?" Izaya asked with a small chuckle.

Shizuo looked down at his fists. "I can definitely throw you that far."

Izaya stiffened, his attention more focused on Shizuo than what was happening around them. Shizuo glanced over at him with half a grin.

"Nothing else I can throw here either," he continued, and Izaya felt the weight of that gaze on him. "but then again-" Shizuo leaned back with his arms behind him and turned his gaze ahead. "Fleas would hardly make an impact."

Izaya hadn't even realized that his heartbeat had sped up till only after as it began to slow. Letting out a breath of air, he closed his eyes, feeling the playful way the wind caught his clothes. Hardly an impact? Maybe that's the nicest thing he had ever said to him. Izaya laughed.

"How kind of you, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo tsked.

He always imagined that monsters should be scarier in the dark, more ferocious and nasty in a predatory kind of way. But the light dulled his blond hair as well as softened his appearance. Izaya could just make out that sullen look. That face was always directed at him with rage that it was easy to forget how it looked the few moments before it twisted into something ugly.

Izaya believed that it was the lighting that made Shizuo look human. Similar to how a bust of a man captures the countenance of a human in stone, the light too played tricks, giving Shizuo more depth. Though not in a way that Izaya wanted.

In the back of his mind, he had always known that Shizuo was regrettably good-looking. But he always equated it with how a lion could still look majestic- even as it snarled with blood around its face and mane. And just like a big cat was lithe and sleek in a way that did nothing to mask just how powerful it was, so too-

— _what the_ fuck  _am I thinking_? Izaya thought with disdain.  _What is wrong with me?_

He quickly turned his attention back to the helicopters with a deep frown. He'd rather watch the smoke smolder across in the distance than imagine that smoldering stare. Feel the lick of flames char him than feel a different kind of burn.

Izaya gripped the knife handle in his coat pocket, the weight and shape of it comforting in his grasp.

" _Clear- build—ceeding to building fo—over._ "

The smoke traveled high into the air, thick at the chimney base and then dispersing into a haze as it reached far into the night sky. Specks of ashes and specks of twinkling light bleeding into the Milky Way.

He could begin to smell the hint of smoke as the wind wafted their way, and he wrinkled his nose. He had half a mind not to, but he looked over to see Shizuo's cold and afflicted expression. This should have made him feel better. Seeing that face go from mildly hopeful to miserable, but it didn't bring the elation that Izaya had expected. He wanted to feel that sick satisfaction, but the satisfaction was missing.

Why? Why did he have to look like that? Why was he expressing things beyond hatred, violence, contempt, or dumb complacency?

Izaya couldn't wait to witness that expression turn into unbridled rage. Then those anguished last moments. He wondered how Shizuo would look right when the count down ended. Izaya would film it if he could. If Shizuo didn't end up killing both of them. And then he'd be nothing, because even though his body was tough- and maybe it would take longer than a normal human body- but Shizuo would burn.

And either way, Izaya would be free of him.

He already felt hollow. Sick. He hated Shizuo. Shizuo made him feel disgusting. He couldn't wait for tomorrow.

That's right, the key. He let go of the handle of his knife and reached into another coat pocket, feeling a thin strip of metal there. It wasn't his key, but another man's. From the forest when Shizuo had tried to break the collar before the timer had gone off.

Before when Shizuo had been distracted in their chase, Izaya had found him. He had cut that blue shirt and blue-tinged pale skin. It took longer than it should have, the key not in the same place as their own, but lower and surprisingly deep. He had dug his fingers into tissue and the key had been embedded there. He had just put it in the keyhole- ready to turn it when he heard Shizuo's thunderous footsteps. It wasn't so simple as to just twist it in both directions, and it hadn't unlocked, but Izaya didn't have time to figure out the dynamics of the lock before he had removed the key and turned the body over. He had run with the key in his pocket and blood trailing from his fingertips. But it had been worth it. There had been a key.

Izaya smiled. He glanced over at Shizuo.

He'd be nothing more than rising smoke.

They watched as three helicopters moved to other buildings, landing on rooftops and from within came out the black-clad men. This time they were adding new players to the game, still unconscious as they were carried like hefty sacks of rice. Izaya counted nine in total, a few of them were paired together.

" _Ready fo—ration—Set—down. Move out._ "

"What was that?"

"It cut off too much, can't say for sure," Izaya said as he tapped the two-way radio lightly.

A helicopter from the far right came closer. Close enough that he saw that it had a double rotor, blades a blur, but he noticed that they were spinning in opposite directions. The force pushed the air, and the sound was overtaking the static of the radio. It was impossible to see into the cockpit, but for a full second, he thought that the aircraft had paused nearly level with them, before lowering down and heading further off towards the canopy of trees.

He could clearly see some kind of metal box with holes lowering from a cable, but he couldn't make out the contents. It descended gently till it disappeared into the lush green of trees. A few moments later the cable reappeared without the cage. The helicopter flew off. It was the last to leave the island.

" _Cl—re._ " The static broke off more, and the words were mostly unrecognizable. "—hara I- ya—good luc—" It crackled some more in what sounded like laughter.

"The last part was in Japanese," Shizuo said. Izaya blinked. It had been in Japanese. "I think they said your name and good luck. Well, aren't you special."

"He was laughing." Izaya switched off the two-way radio.

It was all over in twenty or so minutes. It would take much longer for the smoke to eventually let up. The island was silent, only the rustling of trees could be heard. Izaya watched till it was impossible to see the black helicopters.

"What do you think was in there, in that crate thing?" Shizuo asked.

He looked down in the direction that metal box had been. "Could be anything," Izaya shrugged.

"He said your name though...maybe it was meant for you."

"Then it's probably better that someone else stumbles in on it. Or whatever  _it_  is stumbles on them." Izaya covered his nose as another gust of wind passed over them with a faint hint of smoke. He looked over at Shizuo. "So now it's your turn to rest. Well if you can sleep after that." Izaya said with a smirk.

Shizuo stood up and stretched. "Yeah." He walked further off and settled down with his arms cushioning his head as if he was going to be star gazing. "Hey, so if anyone comes by, try not to- you know, accidentally hit me with a knife, alright?"

Izaya chuckled. "What's this? So if someone is climbing up the rock wall, I  _don't_  throw my knife at  _you_? Why, what a  _brilliant_  idea, Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo sighed. "Ah, shit. Can't believe I'm actually letting you keep watch. I should just toss you over the cliff. Would be much safer that way."

Izaya shook his head. "Be careful what you say right now. I will be the one watching over you."

"Whatever. Wake me up in a few. And I swear if you do one weird thing. And I mean  _anything_  weird. I will...throw you into the moon, got it?"

Izaya eyed the crescent moon over their heads, where Shizuo was currently looking. "The moon? Sheesh, you act like  _I've_  been the one chasing after  _you_  all of these years. I wouldn't even touch you with a meter long pole if I had to, though the same can't be said for you."

"Oh shut up, that's only because you can't even hold up a metal pole. I've been chasing you out of Ikebukuro. Y'know, trying to kill you. You're the one who's always swingin' by, messing with me."

And even though this conversation would undoubtedly go nowhere, Izaya still wouldn't back down. "Do you really expect me to stay out of an entire district just because you say so? Does that logic really work in your mind? Because I'm definitely not swinging by just to see your ugly face."

From his side, Shizuo flicked some rocks away, shooting them out like bullets. "Well could have fooled me, with all the times I see you as if you're waiting for me. Fuck this is pointless. Would you shut up, I'm trying to sleep."

"You were the one who brought this up, stupid. And it's pointless because you're relentless."

Shizuo chose to ignore him and Izaya frowned.

This was exactly why Izaya thought Shizuo was a moron. Because Shizuo—

"We're both dysfunctional, alright. So that's it."

Izaya laughed. "You're hilarious! This is great. Admitting that you're dysfunctional! But really, don't lump me in with you. It's disgusting."

Shizuo didn't wait for Izaya's laughter to let up. "You want to know what's so hilarious? How about how fucking unrelenting you are. You're seriously up your own ass all the time like only Orihara _fucking_ Izaya could be."

"Haha. Tell me how anyone could be up their own ass, please." Izaya grinned.

"See, what did I say? You're full of it. It's really no wonder the shit that comes out of your mouth."

Izaya chuckled as he shook his head. "How I talk? Are you dumb  _and_  deaf as well?"

"Would you fucking shut up!? Stop for fuck's sake!" Shizuo turned over to his side, facing away now. "Shit! You're the most annoying person in existence."

Izaya sighed loudly and turned away as well. Seriously, the nerve? After Shizuo started the whole pointless conversation and then tells him to shut up?

After a few uneventful minutes of Izaya just thinking about how stupid Shizuo was, he realized that he was bored. What was he supposed to do for the next few hours watching over a slumbering monster who didn't need any kind of protection?

Shizuo really didn't know any better. Inciting everything from the beginning. Really, if he had said something different, from that time when they both first met, instead of being a complete ass, when all Izaya had been doing was applauding his show of strength, yeah that's right, then maybe things would have been...

Izaya frowned.

Well, it's not like he would have changed anything differently.

Izaya leaned back and looked up at the numerous stars, then reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He imagined that maybe someone would be envious of him for seeing it, so he snapped some photos. He tried to take a photo with himself in it as well, but it came out obscure. Of course, the picture quality wasn't as good as the real thing, but he was sure he could brag about this one day. It was especially nice with the ocean in the foreground.

He turned his phone off.

He sneaked a glance at Shizuo who was turned away from him. He could not quite see where the little red line where the key was embedded, but he imaged it clearly, and Izaya grinned. But it was only his expression that was pulled upward. His stomach clenched painfully, and not from hunger. He put his hand over his stomach, feeling if maybe he hurt himself there. He frowned as he looked back at Shizuo.

He hated him. Loathed this monster like nothing else.

Izaya loved humans. Loved everything about them. They could hate him. They could use him, and he would love it. He could accept all of what human nature had, especially the worst since that was what he brought out in his humans. He could easily make humans into scum. Just like he could do with Shizuo.

And as much as Shizuo tried to act human, he wasn't.

Izaya could not accept Shizuo's existence as a human- and thus it had to be Shizuo who was the abomination. He had to turn him into a monster. He would make Shizuo so disgusting that no one could ever love him.

Izaya stared down at the expanse of trees.

He couldn't be wrong.

He hadn't thought about it that much. There had never been a reason to wonder why. But as minutes passed just as the moon passed slowly overhead, he thought about when he had first met Shizuo. It had happened in an instant. A trigger set to shoot, and the consequences etched deep within them. Izaya had thought that he had won that time. That he had outmaneuvered a beast- had injured him. He had come out superior.

From the moment those brown eyes locked onto him with disgust, and he said those words- Izaya had wanted to make him even more terrible.

His next thoughts were inconceivable. To think that it probably would have been easier to have just loved Shizuo as a human from the beginning, and accept his hatred and violence with open arms. If he could have smiled and told Shizuo he loved him, then that would have undoubtedly pissed Shizuo even more. But he hadn't.

Maybe that was where it went wrong.

Izaya put a hand over his face and rubbed his eyes. Perhaps he was more tired than he thought. Thinking these useless things.

There was no point trying to figure out why Shizuo was so different. Why he had singled out Shizuo as a monster. Because Izaya had never felt the need to question these things. He thought that he just knew it. Knew that it wasn't just because of his strength, or his quick temper that blew out of proportion. It wasn't that he felt threatened by him in any way because that was laughable.

But something was bothering him. Trying to make him understand why he was bothered.

He'd known certain things about this monster from the beginning. While so many humans were underwhelming in their mundane lives, Shizuo had only ever been overwhelming. He'd been so impressive in his hatred that Izaya would find himself overbalanced. That much hate could not be accepted with equal amounts of love, but only equal amounts of hatred. Only that would be able to counter the beast's volume and thus Izaya could keep his love intact, and give all the hatred he had for the beast.

He couldn't pinpoint the exact reason because maybe there was none...there didn't need to be one, but for whatever reason, Izaya had chosen to hate Shizuo with all the hate he had reserved for him alone, and thus he was safe in his hatred.

He hadn't thought that Shizuo's words could have any effect on him, but that wasn't true. Shizuo had carelessly dealt the first blow. And Izaya one-upped him by slicing him across his chest. And Izaya had believed himself to be the victor.

Feeling this doubt in him, he hated that. Because he wasn't wrong, couldn't be. Shizuo was. It was Shizuo's fault. And yet, all these thoughts and this sick feeling inside of him just made Izaya hate Shizuo even more.

Izaya leaned down and closed his eyes. He would make sure that Shizuo hurt the most. He would have his last laugh.

The wind was cool on his face. The night passed slowly by the time the smell of burning bodies dissipated. He stayed still for many minutes. He must have been more tired than he realized as sleep overtook him in a fitful slumber.

" _You now have 24 hours remaining. Good luck._ "

Izaya awakened from Shizuo's metal collar. Only one more day, huh?

He smiled; it was the best alarm ever.


	14. Like a Fabulous Peace Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That may just be the biggest innuendo I've ever seen.”

" _You now have 24 hours remaining. Good luck._ "

Shizuo groaned. He wanted to tell that computerized voice five more minutes. Maybe call Tom-san and tell him that today really wasn't a good day, 'cause he felt like shit. Not that he wanted to go back to sleep and dream up that really awful dream where he and Izaya were on an island together. Because that had been beyond fucked up. He really needed to stop watching those alien programs Celty had warned him to watch...or maybe she had warned him not to watch them? Ah, fuck, he forgot which. 

He rolled over onto his side and his head hit something hard.

Wait...where was his pillow?

Immediately, there was a slow sinking feeling within him, which had nothing to do with his missing pillow. He really didn't want to wake up to this shit. It was too early in the morning to deal with. He just wanted five more minutes and Izaya could- Ah shit, Izaya!

Shizuo dragged a hand over his face. Well, he was alive, guess that meant something. He cracked open his eyes and saw that it was still dark out. He spotted the ugly fur lining of that ugly hood first. The black of his coat blended with the night so that it looked like a mockery of a halo.

Maybe he could sleep for a few more minutes. Shizuo plopped back down. He still had 24 hours left, that was enough time to... He frowned. 24 hours...24? The fuck? Just how long had he been sleeping for?

"Hey! Flea!" Izaya turned his head. He couldn't make out his expression- but Shizuo didn't like it anyway. "What time is it?"

It took a moment for Izaya to reach for his phone and turn it on. He squinted when the light blinked on. "10:36 in the morning back in Japan."

"What!? No, fucking way! You said it was ten something last night right before you went to sleep. Did we really just waste 12 hours? Why didn't you wake me up?" Shizuo sat up abruptly.

Izaya stretched, the phone light pointing upwards as he did so. "You were the one who wanted to end the day early, remember? And it's not like we can so easily find the antidote in the dark. Relax, we have all day today." He dropped his arms to his side and put the phone down.

Shizuo was still annoyed, but he figured that Izaya had a point. He watched as the flea went through the black bag next to him and pulled out the water bottle, drinking some water before capping it. Almost half of it was gone. "Want some?" He held it out.

Shizuo stared at it suspiciously. "Did you spit in it?"

"Yeah, I ran my tongue all around the top, too." He said before tossing it over. Shizuo still didn't trust him because he always believed that Izaya wouldn't give a man in the desert a drop of water unless the man had an arm to spare.

But he was thirsty, and usually, he woke up with a glass of milk. He took a deep swig of it, ignoring just where it previously had gone. Well, it tasted like water should.

"Are you kidding me?" The flea's voice was flat. Shizuo stopped drinking. "Did you really just put your mouth on it?" He ducked his head and put a hand on his forehead.

"What, you didn't?"

"No," Izaya shook his head, "I didn't."

"Oh. Sorry," Shizuo said with a frown.

"Great, now I have to worry about  _your_  germs. Just give it back to me." Izaya stepped over and grasped the bottle daintily with one hand. It took some maneuvering with his bad hand, but he managed to use the end of his jacket, thankfully not where the fur lining was, and he used it to wipe the rim of the bottle.

Shizuo continued to frown, but he didn't say what was on his mind. Thinking how gross that was- 'cause who knew when Izaya had last washed that filthy thing. But some things weren't worth arguing about so early in the morning.

"Next time I hand you something, try not to slobber all over it, OK?"

Shizuo's brows furrowed. "I didn't slobber on it, alright. But yeah, I got it."

Izaya sent him one last glare before putting it away and pulling out two of those delicious bars and giving him one.

He perked up immediately. Opening the clear package gingerly before taking a bite of the golden goodness, he chewed slowly as he enjoyed the sweetness of sugar and sesame. Belatedly, he caught Izaya staring at him with something like a grin, and he wondered if he had been crumbs on his face. He wiped his mouth, and thankfully there hadn't been.

"What?" Shizuo mumbled as he took another bite.

"Nothing, nothing," Izaya said with a flitting wave of his hand before shifting his gaze away and taking a bite of his own bar. "The sun's coming up soon."

Shizuo turned his head in the direction where the deep indigo was fading the closer it touched the horizon. He stared at it as he finished eating. He felt even more hungry now, but he wasn't going to bitch about it.

"So shall we head out now?" Izaya asked as he stretched his arms high over his head.

They should. They had wasted a lot of time as it was. Shizuo looked back towards where the sun would soon rise. A dusting of pink tinged the numerous clouds. When was the last time he had watched a sunrise? Maybe a few years back from his kitchen window, but there had been buildings over most of it.

"Hold on a second," he said. He didn't like the thought of this being his last sunrise. Not when he never even bothered to enjoy them. "It's probably better to wait for the sun first."

"Hmm?" Izaya hummed. "If that's what you want."

Shizuo nodded his head without looking at him. His legs were too long to stretch out where he was currently sitting, and the surface was too uneven, so he got up and moved closer to the ledge. He leaned back on his hands.

Was he going to end up spending his last day alive with Izaya? What a depressing thought. Well, it wasn't like he had much of a choice. As appealing as it was to stay up here and bask in the sun all day, Shizuo knew he couldn't do that. He hated the thought of his family worrying about him if he never came home. He wasn't going to disappoint anyone. He was going to see Ikebukuro again. There was no doubt about it in his mind.

He rubbed his eyes and reached over for his sunglasses, putting them on just as the first rays peeked over the horizon.

He could put up with Izaya for another day. Even if the flea proved to be a little shit again, too. Ugh. Fucking annoying.

The light touch of sunlight against his bare skin was nice, relaxing even. He took in a deep breath, feeling momentarily full before letting it all out. The air was clear, a salty tinged clean that he could get used to. From here he couldn't smell the stench of the island.

The way the sun emerged from the water reminded him of a pretty flower blossoming, the one with the deep yellow center and white pointy edges. He frowned. It was the Hawaiian flower but he wasn't sure if it was called that or had an actual name.

It was undoubtedly pretty, but Shizuo would have preferred the view from his kitchen sink over this.

After some time had passed, the sunlight was beginning to stream through the line of trees. He took one lingering deep breath, but he felt even more anxious.

"Alright, let's go." He stood up and turned around. Now he could clearly see the flea from where he was, perched on the highest point of the rocks and looking down at the land below them. It reminded Shizuo of the usual loathsome flea he knew, though his expression wasn't smug. He was more contemplative. Those eyes turned to him and the hint of a smirk returned.

Izaya carefully hopped down.

They were getting better at climbing. Maybe it was because Izaya was actually holding on to him properly so that he stopped immediately going for a chokehold whenever Shizuo went a little too fast. And he stopped pulling on his hair, which was nice too. Well, as nice as a flea hitching a ride on a host could get, since he could swear blunt nails were digging into his shoulder like little itchy flea bites.

And then there was the way he wrapped his legs around his waist, but Shizuo didn't want to dwell too long on that. Because otherwise, he'd just get pissed. He nearly slipped when he felt a leg brush the inside of his thigh because how the fuck did the flea manage that, huh?

But he realized that was only because Izaya was slipping lower and now he was holding on even closer. Well, it could be just that this was all in his own imagination like he was only more aware of the other for no other reason than just because it was Izaya. He frowned. Anyway, the flea sure as hell didn't need to be that close, right?

Shizuo tsked. The damn pest was probably doing this to piss him off.

He dropped down the last few feet, just only slightly annoyed at how much tighter the arm slung over his shoulder held on to him before slipping away completely. The drag of skin was worse than the usual drag of a knife tip, and he frowned.

"So you are going to be seriously looking for the antidote, right?"

Izaya looked over at him with a smirk. "Duh, it's not like I would be hanging around you otherwise."

"Sure," Shizuo muttered as he continued to walk ahead with his hands in his pockets. It was still dark under the cover of trees and Shizuo made sure to pay attention to their surroundings. He had a general idea of which direction to go. The humidity was beginning to pick up as well.

He didn't react as he felt a hand going through the black bag he was holding, and the flea took out the water and replaced it back empty.

"We should get more water while we still have the chance," Izaya said.

"Really?" he grumbled. He didn't want to waste time, but it would suck even more if they were to make it to the other side of the island only for Izaya to want to come back for water. "Fine." He changed their course slightly and walked by trees as thin as Izaya.

They walked for a while, and as he pushed aside ferns that tickled his bare arms, he noticed that there were more mosquitos and small flies the further they went. While he didn't have to worry about anything biting him, partly because he never felt the actual bite, Izaya was another story: walking around with his coat wrapped tightly around him. Shizuo wondered how he was able to see and maneuver around, but then again, he didn't particularly care.

"Ugh!" Izaya swatted the air by his head, not even his hand poking out of the sleeve. "So annoying!"

"Now you know how I feel," Shizuo said.

Izaya chuckled and continued to swipe the air around his head. "Oh? I doubt it's really the same."

He didn't respond because he was getting a weird feeling like somehow the air was different.

The buzz of insects was louder. Shizuo paused and glared ahead of them through the thick expanse of foliage. He took in a deep breath, but this whole island reeked to him. Though, maybe it was a little worse than before with the earth smelling more metallic. The whine of mosquitoes and flies was annoying, but he listened for anything out of place.

"Hey, where did they drop that crate thing?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya stopped next to him, peeking from his hood up and behind him where the mountain was still in view. "It's still a long way that...way," Izaya trailed off, only his finger exposed from his sleeve in the direction ahead and a little to the right of them.

Shizuo scanned the direction where Izaya was pointing, to where red blood droplets were bright against the large fanning green ferns. Many stems and leaves were bent, leaving a trail that ended at the base of a thick tree. It was as if a body had been dragged through.

He took a few steps forward, his body tense as he tried to make sense of what had happened. It didn't take long to figure it out. Not when he saw the pink and brown entrails partly obscured by leaves. Long, squishy wet innards looked like giant worms atop the soil.

He froze, unable to look away. A heavy sounding droplet hit a fern, gliding down a waxy leaf before it disappeared along the stem. Shizuo looked up to see a pallid face staring empty-eyed at him four meters above them. It was a face that had black millipede eyebrows and a full beard that surrounded an agape mouth. From the way the man was positioned on his back, the blood spilled from his open stomach and ran down his chin, wet hair, and legs.

Shizuo could only stare in relative shock, though his mind was telling him that he had better get the fuck away. Because he had no idea what had caused this: man or animal.

"Shit," he said. The flies were clustered here. Some landing on what was above them and some below.

When Izaya began to circle around the tree, all the while careful of where he stepped, Shizuo was finally able to look away from the man.

Izaya was just like a grim reaper, and Shizuo was convinced that if there ever was a grim reaper, it would have fur lining somewhere.

"The back of his neck was torn, right below the collar," Izaya remarked and he was still covering most of his face.

"So you think an animal did this?" He asked as he scanned more trees for anything still lurking near them.

"Yeah, and it's storing him for later."

Shizuo closed his eyes. He'd heard of such things before, of those crazy stories of man-eating animals. He had seen some shows on those really late night programs when nothing else was on, but they never showed it like this.

"Do you know which animals can store their food in trees, Shizu-chan?"

He knew squirrels did, but he wasn't going to say that. On those TV specials, most of the animals who preyed on humans had been big cats, big fish, bears, and crocodiles. "Cats," he guessed. "Big cats."

"Ah!" From within that hood, Izaya grinned. "Very good. Bravo. Though to be more specific, leopards are our best bet. But for a leopard to be able to carry a grown man up a tree, it must be quite big, ne."

He was sure that he could take on any animal, but that didn't mean that he wanted to. "What a pain," Shizuo muttered. "No point sticking around here." A mosquito flew by his ear, and Shizuo shook his head. "Come on." He realized a second later that going in the direction they were heading was probably not the best route. Whatever creature was lurking in these trees was most likely somewhere around them.

"They are nocturnal, but then again...dawn only just passed," Izaya said.

 _Yeah, and what if that animal was thirsty after his meal?_  Shizuo thought bitterly. He took another step and stopped to look back at Izaya. "You sure you still need that water?"

Izaya pushed back his hood as he looked up with eyes bright and looking too well rested. "Of course."

Shizuo didn't have a good feeling about this, but he didn't know why. It could just be that the entire island gave him a bad feeling like he was always on edge. "Alright, but let's go around this way, where that first waterfall was. Maybe then we could avoid whatever creature is around here."

"That's fine too," Izaya said with a shrug like he didn't care either way.

Shizuo turned his attention to their surroundings as he walked. He really wanted to get away from the buzz of insects. He scrutinized both the tree branches overhead as well as whatever could be in the ferns. Sometimes a large bright flower that he didn't recognize caught his attention, and he would stare at it till he passed it.

Occasional bird calls replaced the hum of insects, and Shizuo began to calm down. Maybe whatever bad feeling he had was all in his head.

Every so often, he would look back at Izaya and just for a moment there was a bothered look of annoyance there before he met Shizuo's glance with a raised brow and a bored expression. And sometimes there was a hint of a grin.

But Shizuo was sure that was only a front.

So maybe the flea was bothered about something? Well, that was good, 'cause then he would be more serious about looking for the antidote. Yeah, instead of playing around like an idiot. Because not even Izaya was stupid enough to treat this as a game.

Shizuo frowned. Well, maybe Izaya would treat this as a joke on the outside, but if there was anyone capable of surviving this hell hole, then it was that impossible to kill insect.

They came to the trickling brook first, and Shizuo knew that they were close to the waterfall. The water was pretty as sunlight scintillated on the surface, with round stones and pebbles that the water passed over. Occasionally, he found himself looking at if for too long, and then he would scan their surroundings.

Not much longer and he could hear the louder rush of water from the waterfall. But there was a different kind of hum as well, and Shizuo hesitated as it became louder the closer they got. He quietly pulled back a low-hanging branch that was in the way.

He stopped with eyes wide. "You've got to be shitting me," Shizuo whispered with incredulity. The twinge of unease that he had been suppressing turned to annoyance. "He better have something on under there." Izaya stopped next to him and had the gall to chuckle. As if he was enjoying this shit!

Jakow was in the pool of water without his shirt on, humming with occasional Russian words. The man was barrel-chested in a way that made it seem like he had actually been built from a keg, with coarse hair bisecting naturally strong muscles. He lifted tendon thick arms and washed under a bushy armpit.

"Let's just go before he sees us, there's no way you can be thirsty after that!" Shizuo whispered as threateningly as he could.

Izaya's expression was nonchalant and yet there was that slight teasing edge to it. "Oh, but I am. All you gotta do is run over there and fill it up. He probably won't even notice you."

"You're kidding, right? Come on, we'll go upstream, the water will be cleaner too."

"But we don't have time for-"

" _You now have 24 hours remaining. Good luck._ " 

They both looked down at what was around Izaya's neck. Even though Shizuo knew that he couldn't have done it on purpose, he glared at him as if he had. 

There was a loud splash and Jakow looked over at them in equal surprise. He then smiled toothily. " _Ah, Shizu-chan and friend!_ " His thick long beard looked like seaweed when wet.

"I heard that stupid nickname. Fuck! Why does he know my name?"

"I keep telling you, the guy's crazy about you," Izaya whispered back at him.

Jakow splashed water onto his other armpit. " _Thank you for shark. It was very delicious._ "

"He said he loved the shark." Izaya translated.

"The guy's insane. Wasn't that shark poisoned?"

"Obviously not enough," Izaya said, before switching to Russian. " _Shizu-chan's glad you liked the present. He has more for you if you keep bothering us_."

" _Yes, I was quite surprised! And that message, it would even make my dead father blush_.  _What kind of proposal was that? If you want to be so intimate, then why not join me in bath? I will give you taste of Russian banya, though unfortunately, I have no vodka to share._ "

Izaya burst out in laughter. Shizuo didn't like the sound of it.

"He said he was blushing from the message you left in the sand. Also, he accepts the marriage proposal. He wants you to join him now so that you two can consummate your- _ahem_ \- love."

"Izaya..." Shizuo said slowly, on the verge of losing it. "Are you asking to be killed?"

"No...but he is asking for your hand. Also, I am technically licensed online, so if you do want to be wedded right now, you know, I wouldn't mind officiating it."

All of a sudden Jakow stood up, and thankfully he did have pants on. Pants that he was currently trying to take off. " _In banya, men are not embarrassed of their flesh._ "

"Oh looks like he wants to start," Izaya said unnecessarily.

Shizuo had never been more appalled in his life, as he thought that maybe Izaya hadn't been bullshitting him this entire time. That this shit was real. 'Cause why else would Jakow be stripping? He really didn't want a giant naked Russian man coming on to him.

He did the most logical thing he could think of. He broke the nearest tree and instead of ramming it into Izaya, he passed him and used the tree as a bat, swatting the man out of the water. Unfortunately, since Jakow was still trying to undo his pants, they came flying off.

As did his underwear.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Shizuo yelled as Jakow flew away in the arc of a rainbow with his feet up in the air.

There was a moment of silence between them.

"Did you...did you see that?" Izaya said quietly somewhere behind him. "That may just be the biggest innuendo I've ever seen."

Shizuo didn't say anything as he was still panting, a vein throbbing at his brow. He really wished that there was a way to unsee things because Jakow flipping them off with his dick would make the top of his list. Second would be Izaya's face.

"Blurry didn't see nothing."

"Ah, a double negative. Means you did!"

"Yeah, well- that was all your fault."

"Oh, that wasn't you? I've seen a few delinquents lose all of their clothes when you've punched them. I thought maybe this time was intentional too."

"Fucking hell. It's too early in the morning for this shit! Fuck! Go get your water!"

"Hai hai," Izaya smiled as he skipped around the pool of water to where the waterfall was, took out the empty bottle, and rinsed it a couple times before filling it.

"Why the hell was he taking off his pants!" Shizuo muttered under his breath. "The flea can't be telling the truth..."

"Look if you need a shirt, you can take his!"

Izaya was pointing at the tan crumpled up shirt on the ground that looked more like a tent than a shirt should. "No, that's nasty." Shizuo scowled. He didn't want to give any reason for the Russian man to follow them. And there was the fact that Izaya would somehow make it into a perverse joke. Like him wearing Jakow's clothes was sweet or endearing, or something equally repulsive.

He shuddered as he realized something. If Jakow's clothes were all here, then somewhere in the jungle was a...very terrifying thing. More so than any kind of animal that there might be.

"We have to leave, right now!"

Izaya smirked as he looked over. "I'm feeling a little gross right now. I need a quick bath, maybe rinse my eyes out a couple times."

Shizuo was reminded again of just how much of a pest Izaya was. Even his eyes were the color of fleas engorged on blood.

They didn't have time to argue this over. He reached for the black bag that he had dropped earlier and then he stepped over to Izaya. The flea looked on with amusement. "You feel a little gross?" Shizuo continued with rising anger. "How about you imagine the fucking disgust I feel, huh?"

Izaya smiled sweetly as he spoke. "Why would I ever imagine anything about you when you're already so disgusting to begin with? Just the sight of you makes me sick."

Shizuo was annoyed.

He felt his body needing to react as the threat of Jakow spurred him. He had to force Izaya to move. And the flea had that playful look that he normally had before Shizuo lost it, like he was goading him. But he knew that if he reacted too fast, then the flea would run, and Shizuo didn't want a repeat of yesterday when he had lost sight of Izaya.

Instead, he moved slowly, and just like someone seeing how close they could get to a burning fire, Izaya didn't pull away as Shizuo came closer. Near enough that he was able to pull the front of that v-neck shirt and still Izaya smirked at him with mirth, as if he were still in control.

"Good," Shizuo said with a grin before he pulled the flea up and over his shoulder. He ignored Izaya's outrage as he began to run because he sure as fuck wasn't going to stick around here for Jakow's return.


	15. Shizu-chan's Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anything that Shizuo can do wrong he will do wrong.

"...Just the sight of you makes me sick." 

Izaya smiled as Shizuo’s apparent annoyance grew. He could say this all calmly, even fondly, because it amused him to witness what only a beast was capable of: to look so furious yet dumb.

There was the promise of violence from this inhuman creature, and Izaya was sure that he would nurture it into something more loathsome. Become even more hideous, as only a monster can be.

The front of his shirt was pulled taut and Izaya smirked. What terrible, _terrible_ things this monster was capable of. Those brown eyes will turn all black.

"Good," Shizuo grinned.

There was a sudden pull as if he was caught by the force of a wave and everything turned upside down. The next thing he could focus on after the blur of scenery was skin. He almost dropped the water bottle.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Izaya's head was level with Shizuo's midback and there was nothing for him to grab onto as he tried to steady himself. Shizuo was already running. "Stop! Stop! Stop!"

He had to use his right hand, splayed against the curve of Shizuo's lower back, to prop himself somewhat up. He used his left elbow to prod the beast to break.

"Are you listening to me? I said, put me down! Put me down, you Neanderthal!"

Izaya smacked Shizuo's lower back as hard as he could, right against his spine. "Hey!" He tried kicking with his feet, hoping to aim for Shizuo's face, but Shizuo just twisted him more precariously. Izaya was sure that he would fall. The only thing stopping him from falling on his face was the tenuous hold at the back of his knees.

It was akin to the most uncomfortable roller coaster ride ever. He should just force himself to throw up on Shizuo to get him to stop.

"I'm going to throw up on you!" Izaya yelled. "Right down your pants!" Shizuo ignored him, and the blood rush to his head was becoming annoying. "I will carve my name on your ass if you don't put me down!"

"I'll drag you then," Shizuo said, and Izaya felt himself being lowered.

"Stop!" He reached around, trying to hook his hands together, in what was probably the weirdest semblance of a hug. "Why are you carrying me, anyway? What is wrong with you?"

"He could be anywhere."

He? He meant Jakow? Jakow who flew off in the opposite direction? Izaya would have found this immensely hilarious if he wasn't upside down and being carried off by a caveman.

"He's nowhere near us, so let me down!"

Shizuo didn't say anything. He only ran faster.

Izaya held on tightly against a solid back. He thought that this was the most humiliating moment of his life.

He couldn't imagine anything worse than this. But as they were pitched into the air and he was just barely hanging on for his life, he found that he was very much mistaken.

But then again, he wasn’t surprised really. Not when Shizuo had the tendency to make any situation ten times worse. It wasn’t enough to just say that it was Murphy's law, that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Shizuo and his unpredictable nature went beyond this world. He had his own set of rules to abide by, and the one occurring right now was Shizu-chan's law. Anything that Shizuo can do wrong he will do wrong.

Because how else could their current position be explained? Caught in a net made of vines way up in the air? Of course, that couldn't be the end of how terrible the situation turned out to be since Izaya had already been in a humiliating position and because of Shizu-chan's law, Izaya now had to suffer from being crushed by the monster. The half of his face that wasn't pressed against vines was pinned under a belt and tailored pants.

"Why?" Izaya bemoaned. "Why am I being crushed by a monstrous oaf?"

"Crushing, huh?" Shizuo chuckled. "I am finally crushing you after all of these years."

"With your ass," Izaya added.

"Awesome."

"Now get off of me!" Izaya tried to kick but just ended up getting one of his legs stuck through the net. "I'm this close to knifing you....Wait! Why are you turning around!?" Izaya screeched as Shizuo began to do just that.

"Stop yelling, I'm trying to break the net."

"Get me up first!" Izaya cringed internally and cursed in his head. He had been going too far with all of those dick jokes, and now he was paying for it. Especially more so with the prospect of Shizuo's crotch soon to be in his face.

"I mean get off from me! No! I mean stop! Don't...Don't move! Shit! Don't you dare 69 me!" He desperately tried to free his leg in vain.

"The fuck? Ah, I really wish I didn't know what that number means. Is everything you say some kind of perverted fantasy?" Shizuo caught his other foot by the ankle. There was no room for either of them and Izaya tried his best with one hand on Shizuo's hip to stop him from leaning any closer. Izaya really wished that his other hand wasn't useless.

"Perverted fantasy? What? You think this is _my_ perverted fantasy?"

"I don't know and I don't want to know what goes on in that screwed up head of yours, so would you kindly shut the fuck up and stop struggling?"

"Yeah, I will when you stop groping my ass."

"Oh, come on! Who’s groping your ass? Seriously, and you say it's not a fantasy? I'm nowhere near your ass, moron. That's the fucking net!”

Izaya tipped his head, and sure enough, all of Shizuo's hands were accounted for. One holding his ankle and the other gripping the net.

"Just help me up and then break the net, alright? That should be simple enough for you to understand." Izaya tried to extricate his right foot from the vine, but he had somehow gotten it too tangled. "This is all your fault."

"Wait a second...."Shizuo muttered. "Something's not right."

"What? You notice that now? Of course, something's not right! We're in a-"

"Not that!" Shizuo, none too gently ripped his foot out from where it was stuck, and Izaya marveled that his foot was still attached to his ankle. "I don't know...something doesn't smell right."

Izaya was finally able to twist his body, and he was extra careful of his head as he righted himself. He made sure that nothing was touching Shizuo when he finally looked up with a glower. The black bag was maneuvered between them. "What's wrong now?" The blood rushing away from his head was making him a little dizzy, and he felt the pulse pounding as he put a wrist against his forehead. His left hand ached with pain, having hit something while getting caught in the net.

Shizuo took in a deep breath. He was also scanning their surroundings. The net swayed as he looked down below. "I actually ran into the net over there at the gap between those two trees." He was pointing to a spot a couple meters away from them.

"And?" But Izaya was beginning to suspect this silly and seemingly pointless trap as well. Why build this when setting up something to actually kill them would be more practical?

"And something smells like shit."

Izaya rolled his eyes. "Oh no, someone took a shit in the forest. What a cataclysm."

Shizuo was staring at the ground below them and Izaya looked between the gaps of the vines. The water bottle had fallen at some point and where it had landed the ground had loosened up and the roots were partly exposed. It only took a second for everything to click together.

"Oh. So the real trap is below us. Maybe Punji sticks or a pit of vipers. Well, it was a good thing we got caught in the net first rather than you running headfirst into that. Which is why it's not the brightest idea to be running through the jungle."

Shizuo ran a hand through his hair. "Guess we were lucky yesterday."

"Yeah." Especially since he had been the one in front being chased.

The net broke easily at the top when Shizuo pulled the vines apart. They carefully jumped down onto what looked like the most solid ground.

"Yeah, the shit smell is here all right. I don't even want to see what's down there."

"Hmm." Izaya figured that meant he had to see what was there if Shizuo didn't want to know. He took one of the vines, mostly hardened from drying out, and carefully rolled the water bottle towards him. Once it was safe enough to pick up, he poked the ground. Parts of it caved in after he stirred it around. Shizuo was right about the smell. Izaya stopped digging around when he saw the numerous pointed stakes. Carved wood smeared with feces would inevitably cause an infection if the stakes didn't do the job and kill the person in one go.

And if he wasn't careful of his own wound, then an infection could take over him. There already was an uncomfortable warmth settling in.

Izaya let go of the vine and stepped back.

"Seriously, why the fuck would someone do that? It's sick." Shizuo muttered with a hand over his mouth.

Izaya didn’t bother explaining something so simple. "Let's keep going."

Their eyes were downcast as they walked. Shizuo decided for the both of them to lead. The foliage was thicker and denser here, the canopy of trees far over their heads making it darker. It was perfect for human traps. The huge weeds also made it difficult to tell where exactly was safe to walk. The only good thing was that it was cooler.

"You think that means the antidote is somewhere around here? Like in one of the traps?" Shizuo asked.

He contained his laugh. "You're more than welcome to go back and dig around."

"So you don't think so, right?"

Izaya shrugged. "The makers of this game didn't set those traps if that's what you're hoping." He almost suggested that they just go along the beach, but he knew that Shizuo wouldn't agree. Not when he still believed there even was an antidote within these trees.

There was a low growling sound and Shizuo put a hand over his stomach.

“Is someone hungry?” Izaya asked with a side glance. “There are two of those sezamki snacks left.”

“I’m fine,” Shizuo grumbled, as did his stomach a few seconds later. “Damn, there’s nothing to eat on this damn island.”

“You could always try fishing again.”

“Nah.”

Izaya snickered as an idea popped in his head. One that he knew would really get Shizuo in a terrible mood. “Hey, I can think of something else for you to eat.”

“I’m not eating mushrooms,” Shizuo muttered.

Izaya laughed loudly. “Mushrooms! Why, Shizu-chan, did you read my mind?”

“I saw some big ones growing on a tree, but you know, I don’t want to start hallucinating or some shit. Right?”

“No, no, no, I was thinking of something else. But mushrooms is a great idea, too.”

“Huh?”

“Well, you know in survival times, like this, you got to do things that might be kind of gross that you normally wouldn’t.”

“Whatever you are suggesting, I’m not doing it.”

“Hear me out first. If you’re really desperate for a snack and don’t want the sezamki, how about semen? It’s got like five or more entire calories per load, with a hint of vitamin C, a dash of protein, a trace amount of water, and a bunch of little other things. Not bad, right?”

“Izaya...” Shizuo had stopped walking and had turned around to face him. His expression was of disbelief.

“And if you’re not comfortable eating your own, I’m a very generous person. I wouldn’t mind sharing.” Izaya smiled.

“Are you fucking serious?” Shizuo was getting red in the face, in what was definitely anger by the size of the vein on Shizuo’s forehead.

“What, you think I’m making this up? Or maybe you’d rather get high on shrooms?”

“You’re disgusting.” Shizuo put his hands on his hips. Namie used to do that a lot, and say the same thing, but on Shizuo it didn’t look feminine at all. “Who eats their own sperm, hah?”

“Well, I was offering mine, so you wouldn’t have to.”

His expression was one of disgust, and Izaya wondered if he was actually thinking about it. He really wanted to know.

“As if that makes it any better, you ass.”

Izaya smirked. “I’m only trying to ward off your hunger in constructive and creative ways. It’s not my fault if you find it disagreeable.”

Shizuo’s stomach growled once more and they both looked down at his toned abdomen. “I’ll just smoke, dammit.” He turned back and went through his pockets before taking out the carton and lighting a cigarette. It didn’t last long as they walked, and right after he had another. Neither of them said a thing.

Roughly half an hour had passed before Shizuo stopped walking. "You think this is a trap or something?" He pointed to a thin long branch suspended inches above the ground. It didn't look like much of anything. Izaya shrugged.

Just in case they carefully stepped around it.

They continued on, stopping every so often. Only once did Shizuo actually trigger some kind of snare, and a bent tree branch with spikes coming at the end was aimed at his legs. The entire thing splintered and broke against him. He shook off the wood splinters from his legs and grumbled about a tear in his pants. Izaya had gracefully avoided the entire thing.  
  
“This place still smells like shit,” Shizuo said as he continued to walk.

But it wasn’t just Shizuo who thought so because Izaya could also identify the faint and barely there whiff of something that had been burning. Izaya covered his nose. The smell of burning bodies was unforgettable, and he didn’t like associating this smell with his humans. It was possible that someone had burned up in one of the traps. Or that the ashes from the crematory had deposited here from the wind dispersion.

Shizuo stopped suddenly and Izaya looked around him into the small clearing.

It was one thing to see traps, but it was completely different to see a body caught in one. A stout man was hanging from a tree by the neck, high up in the air. He had dark skin from sun exposure and his ears stuck out from matted tan hair. His clothes were stained green and brown. There were cuts on his legs and ankle where blood had dripped down. He was barefoot.

Izaya carefully stepped forward.

What piqued Izaya's interest was that he couldn't so readily figure out how this person had died. It was almost strange.

If this had been just a trap, he would have paid little mind to any of this. But it really was only a rope tied to a tree, with no fancy tricks anywhere. This could have been a suicide. Perhaps instead of suffering from an unknown poison, someone chose to end it themselves.

But thinking that this was just suicide didn’t make complete sense.

After frequenting so many chat rooms on suicide forums, Izaya knew more than he probably needed to about suicides from hangings. He had chatted with people about best drop lengths, and what kind of rope material to use and what were the best knots to do it. He’d seen the videos and even live webcams, that now scrutinizing a man hanging didn’t even faze him.

Which was why he just knew that the man hanging from the tree looked odd. It didn’t appear like one of his cervical vertebrae had dislocated, meaning that this man had been conscious of the pain as he died. And there were indeed obvious signs of a struggle, with lacerations in both ankles and with his wrists and face light purple with contusions.

All of this bothered him because of the distance of the drop. Typically longer measured falls meant a greater acceleration of the body due to gravity and thus more damage to the neck. The height of this man’s fall was more than four meters, with which such a distance should have more obvious signs of damage, even to the extent of a severed head.

Whereas a short drop, while still capable of severe force, does less structural damage to the neck, but typically causes severe amounts of pain due to the length of consciousness and of the slow asphyxiation. Which meant that he couldn’t have done this to himself.

“Are you done yet? Come on, this place is even creepier than you are.” Shizuo muttered. “Arg, for some reason I feel gross.”

“Alright, alright.”

He took a picture before they continued on. But his thoughts were still on the hanged man.

His clothes were probably dirty from being dragged on the ground. It definitely hadn’t been a suicide. Someone had strung him up. Had he still been alive when he had been caught? Maybe the tendons had been ruptured at his ankles, meaning that he couldn’t run away. So whoever had set these traps had then wanted to watch as the man had choked to death. But why had he been dragged back there? Why waste all of that energy when as Shizuo had said, there wasn’t anything to...

“...Oh.”

“What?”

Izaya looked up, feeling a sick drop in his stomach as if this person was there watching them now. “We better go, right now.” He passed Shizuo because he was giving him an odd look.

Izaya could still breathe in that burning smell of human flesh. It was so obvious now. He could imagine it clearly. The body had been strung up and bled out like an animal at a butcher’s store.

That meant that he was close by. He knew where they were.

“Why are you freaking out all of a sudden?” Shizuo asked.

“Shh, just be quiet,” Izaya whispered and looked up into the branches then back towards Shizuo and the direction they had come. It was still dark under the canopy of trees. Izaya took out a folding knife and flicked it open. He veered their path to the right.

The killer in these parts was skilled. He knew how to survive. He was a real hunter, spinning a web of traps around a camp that they had just walked through.

They should have turned around after the first trap.

“Stop going so fast,” Shizuo said too loudly in the quiet forest.

“Would you shut up?” Izaya whispered back. He was trying to tell where he felt like he was being watched, but it only felt like he was getting closer. “He’s somewhere near here.”

“Who, Jakow? You’re paranoid.”

“And you’re talking too loudly!” His foot caught on something and he stumbled forward. There was a whooshing noise. Izaya turned his body and saw three wooden spears coming towards him. His footing was all wrong as he was still trying to keep his balance. He wouldn’t be able to deflect them all, not with only one hand.

A deep-seated feeling of dread struck him hard. He didn’t want to die. He lifted his knife towards the one aimed for his head. All at once the three spears were knocked aside into the foliage next to him. He looked over in shock at Shizuo. For a few seconds, he could only stare.

“Watch where you’re going, dumbass.” As if now realizing his actions, Shizuo’s annoyance was turning to alarm. “Shit...” He continued almost sheepishly. “Ah! Sorry, my body just kind of reacted. I didn’t mean anything by it, shit.” He rubbed the back of his head and looked away.

Izaya eyed the spears deeply embedded in the ground. All of which should have been impaling him.

“Won't happen again. Yeah, next time you’re dead, flea.”

Shizuo began to walk away and Izaya put away his folding knife before covering his eyes. He took in a few deep breaths. “Dammit.” That was too close. But more than that... he didn’t feel any type of relief as his racing heart wasn’t slowing down. He was feeling sick again— lightheaded.

That moron! He didn’t want to admit that he needed help then. He wouldn’t thank Shizuo. It didn’t matter that for a moment, Izaya had been relieved. That was nothing.

Izaya took a less than steady step forward. He was okay. He was going to live. Everything was fine. Shizuo was just being stupid and rash. He would have dodged that, no problem. He watched Shizuo’s back and already he was a few meters ahead.

It was only a fluke, Izaya repeated in his mind. Nothing to worry about. His breathing was beginning to steady.

A second later he felt the looming presence of someone behind him. He took in a sharp breath just as at the corner of his eye he caught the glint of a knife. It was only his sharp reflexes that stopped the knife from slitting his throat as he leaned back. It grazed along the metal around his neck.

Izaya grabbed the man’s wrist to stop the knife, but before he could twist away, a hand clamped over his mouth and nose, and leather gloved fingers dug into the soft skin under his jaw. It was close to suffocating.

The man was trying to wrench his neck to the side. Izaya struggled with both the hand trying to forcibly turn his head and the knife still trying to carve into him. He recognized it as a hunting knife right away, with a curved blade that was meant for skinning and a straight end for cutting. He used his left forearm to help push the blade away.

He hoped to take the man by surprise by dropping down and using his weight to force him to let go. The man was strong enough to hold him up, and if he wasn’t trying to break his neck, then Izaya would have been able to flip over him.

The pressure was beginning to hurt and he struggled to breathe properly. He looked over towards Shizuo who was still walking away, completely oblivious to what was going on and getting too far away to hear anything.

It took some force where his mouth and jaw were being clamped down on, but he managed to bite into leather as hard as he could. Dirt and soot mixed with his saliva. The man didn’t so much as flinch and just exerted more force. The strain was making his whole body tremble and any noises he made were being muffled. His neck was sore and his head was almost fully turned to the right.

He was being dragged, and Izaya dug his heels into the dirt.

He could still see Shizuo’s back. He thought about the key there, that Shizuo would never know about. Fine! Let the moron think he had left him! Let him be consumed with anger!

But as he was dragged away, what he wanted to see was what kind of expression Shizuo would have once he realized what was happening. He didn’t know why, but it was important. Would he grin? Become angry? Not even care and keep on walking? Turn around you idiot.

He was hurting all over. There was a burning pain all along his left arm. He couldn’t call out. His foot rolled over a wooden spear and he kicked out. It made the tiniest dull sound.

The man cursed in Spanish, a whisper against his ear.

“Hey!” Shizuo shouted. Izaya could just barely see from the corner of his eye as Shizuo pulled out a tree from the ground that was over seven meters tall. Izaya was wary of the blade aimed for his neck, but the force there was becoming slack.

“ _¿Qué coño?”_

“What the fuck do you think you're doing!?” He swung the tree forward, and the top of it crashed with the surrounding trees sending them toppling down. The ground shook from the force. “Let him go!”

The grip on him tightened. Was the man using him as a human shield? Because that wouldn’t stop Shizuo.

The tree came flying their way, and just barely went over their heads. It crashed behind them.

“S _anta mierda.”_

Shizuo charged towards them, and the man finally let go of his jaw and took out a new knife.

Izaya looked up as Shizuo came like an onslaught of a tidal wave. His expression similar to when he was forced to beat up thugs.

The man swung his hunting knife at Shizuo, and then that hand was crushed in an instant. The bones cracking was mingled with the sound of a scream.

Izaya couldn’t look away as Shizuo's eyes turned on him; those eyes held a savage fierceness and made his heart rate jump.

Izaya was pushed forward and he staggered ahead bracing himself for the collision. Shizuo deftly caught him and swung him to the side. All in one piece. Izaya turned to watch as the man tried to make a run for it. Shizuo easily grabbed him.

“ _¡Deténgase, ya basta!”_

He had lightly tanned skin and dark, short cropped hair. His mouth was agape in pain, bleeding terror on his face.

A new knife came at him, and Shizuo snapped that arm up too. He tossed him to the ground. “Get the hell out of my sight, before I change my mind and kill you!”

Even though he couldn’t understand what Shizuo was saying, he instinctively backed away. He ran with his two broken arms huddled close to his chest.

Izaya stepped back and leaned against a tree before sitting down.

“Can’t turn my back on you for a second, can I?” Shizuo grumbled as he stepped over, and Izaya looked up briefly before shifting his gaze down. He held on to his own hand still throbbing in pain. “You okay?”

No. He wasn’t. Izaya was shaking and his breathing was uneven. He nodded his head.

“Shit. You surprisingly bruise really easily.” Shizuo tipped his face up and Izaya swatted his hand away.

“Don’t touch me."

Shizuo looked surprisingly bland after looking so intense moments earlier. Why had he saved him? He wasn’t supposed to. Shizu-chan’s law once again. “I thought you said you were going to let me die."

“You think I’d just watch?”

“Yes. You should have.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

Izaya gritted his teeth and ignored the pain radiating through his arm as he gripped it. He felt like shit. “You hate me.”

“So?” Shizuo raised an eyebrow.

“So you shouldn’t care about what happens to me.” Shizuo just stared at him in annoyance before shaking his head.

“You’ve got to be shitting me. Look, you know what? I’m not going to let some crazy ass fucker drag you off. If you have a problem with me helping you, then next time just save your own sorry ass. Now stop wasting our time and let’s go.”

Shizuo was already walking off. He picked up the black bag and slung it over his shoulder.

“Hey!" Shizuo ignored him as he kept walking. "Stupid idiot,” Izaya muttered. “You shouldn't have done that.” He watched Shizuo’s back, and it reminded him earlier when he had wanted to know what that expression would have been. Now he wished that he’d never had known. Izaya laughed. “Unbelievable.” He had been too curious. He had sunk those claws too deep, and it was only now hurting him.

Izaya was a master at manipulating people and kind enough to coax out the truth that no one wanted to face. Looking inward was a terrifying thing. Especially when he was beginning to understand: piecing things together that should have been left alone. 

The blood was still pumping fast through his system, and he ignored the swelling and heat in his arm that was radiating like a disease through him.

He didn't even know that he was capable of this.

"This is the worst..."

He never felt more like an idiot.

He silently picked himself up and followed Shizuo.


	16. Knocked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Shizuo shouldn't have been so rough.

They hadn't heard much besides the light creaking sway of leaves, the numerous bird calls and the buzz of insects, and Izaya hadn't said anything for the past few hours, which Shizuo considered a blessing. They stopped a few times, never for long, and fortunately, they didn't run into anyone else. Already they had finished their remaining water, and Shizuo was somewhat regretful that he had been too disgusted by Jakow to drink when he had the chance.

Faded yellow strips of long leaves and bark blanketed the ground. It crunched softly as they walked over it. The air had a sweet, musky hint to it as they passed flowering plants. It was less humid this day and the wind was beginning to pick up.

If he didn't think too hard about anything, then he could pretend that it was tranquil: peaceful even. But the soothing peace was mostly ruined by the prickling at the back of his head as if Izaya wasn't just glaring daggers at him, but actually digging knife points there.

Shizuo made sure to look back every so often, and each time Izaya would purposely look away. This was the exact opposite of yesterday, but Shizuo didn't think much of it. So what if the flea was still annoyed for being saved? That was his damn problem.

He could have his little temper tantrum, and Shizuo could have his silence.

He pushed back the fanning leaves that stood a meter over him. Occasionally, there was a flower that he'd admire. One in particular that he liked had white petals and a pink center. But there were plants that he thought were weird looking too, long and drooping with tiny orange flowers on them. He saw some brown mushrooms growing on the base of trees. Were they poisonous or psychedelic mushrooms?

Shizuo frowned as he was reminded of his hunger and of other things.

He quickly turned his attention to the way the sunlight filtered through the trees. A small black bird with a red belly landed on a nearby tree branch, and he thought of fried chicken. How much meat would it have anyway? Three ounces? But it was a pretty bird, so he wouldn't want to kill it either.

He rubbed the back of his head and looked back. Their eyes met for a moment right before Izaya looked up into the canopy.

Walking around aimlessly, when he didn't even know what to be looking for, was beginning to turn out to be a complete waste of time.

"Hey, got any ideas on where the antidote is?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya held his wounded arm as he walked. The black bandage looked stiff and matted with dried blood. His bangs were slightly damp and he had a slight flush. When he answered, he met Shizuo's expectant look. "Maybe we overlooked a map somewhere. It could be, let's see....buried. Like buried treasure."

Shizuo guessed that made some sense, but if that were true, then they'd have to be searching for not just an antidote but a map?

"Okay...where do you think the map is then?"

Izaya sighed. "Maybe it's carved on a tree."

But there were like a million trees on this island. "Uh-huh, and where might this tree be?"

"Truthfully, I think we already passed it."

" _What?_ " Shizuo stopped walking. "What makes you think  _that_?"

"A hunch. Though I also think the antidote is buried in that direction, and since the people who made this game are completely unoriginal it will probably be marked by a giant X either painted or carved." Izaya seemed to be pointing in a completely arbitrary direction to their right.

Was he being serious or was he just bullshitting this? Fuck, it was probably both.

"Ugh, this is annoying! All right, so you're saying we should be looking for a giant X then, right?"

Izaya grinned and nodded his head. "It's probably going to be bright red so we can't miss it."

"Sounds like complete bullshit to me," he grumbled. "Next you'll be saying there might be gold too, and we have to follow a fricken rainbow."

"Oh, of course not Shizu-chan, that's completely ridiculous and that's why I'm in charge. Plan B is eating a couple of mushrooms and licking some brightly colored frogs, and  _then_  following the rainbows."

Shizuo scowled. He didn't say it, but he just knew that they were fucked.

He was tempted to knock some sense into Izaya, but Shizuo looked down at that arm and he thought this was all a pain. He decided to head in the direction that Izaya had pointed to anyway because honestly, it didn't seem like it would make much of a difference. Even Izaya's plan B probably had equal chances of working...or not working? Shizuo ran a hand down his face.

Whatever.

About half an hour later, the scenery remained unchanged, except for the dead body that they had passed a ways back. There was no X anywhere, not in the trees, the rocks, or painted on the ground.

It was when he was about to suggest that they take a small break when he heard a low whistling tune. He stopped to listen as the tune continued ahead of them. It was heading somewhat towards them, but edging a little further out. He cautiously moved closer and got behind a tree with large funnel-shaped leaves. Izaya already had a switchblade in his hand and he found his own tree to crouch behind.

The whistling tune was getting louder. Either this guy was a dumbass or just really that confident in his skills. Shizuo peered from behind a leaf. He was completely baffled seeing an older looking man with a slight limping gait. He wore a short khaki colored jacket and black pants. What was strange was that he didn't have anything around his neck.

Shizuo stepped from behind the tree. "Hey!"

The whistling broke off abruptly and the man put a hand on his chest. He was short and had messy black peppered hair that stood up. His facial features were definitely Asian. What really caught Shizuo's attention were the long earlobes the man had like someone had grabbed his ears and yanked them down. On the side of his neck was a large mole.

He was backing up. His pants were covered in dirt, and there were some blood stains on his cuffs.

"Hey, hold on a second," Shizuo took a few quick steps with his hands up while the man was rustling through his front pockets while taking a few steps back.

"I don't have anything of value. I'd give you my watch, but it's fake. You wouldn't take an old man's watch, right?" He said this in Japanese and his expression was pinched with worry. "My shoes are fake too, they aren't really leather. At least I don't think they are. If they are, it's the cheap kind."

"Relax, I don't want your shoes. I just want to talk."

"That's what the other guy said before he kicked me." Once Shizuo was close enough the man whipped out something from his coat and sprayed him.

It made him sneeze twice. He wrinkled his nose. "What the fuck, man? I just want to talk."

"Huh? Why didn't it work?" The man flicked the small tube. He sprayed it again. Shizuo grabbed the small metal spray bottle and tossed it over his shoulder. It was then the man's eye's widened, seeing as Izaya had caught it.

"You need something stronger than pepper spray for Shizu-chan," Izaya said.

"But that is stronger than pepper spray. I made it myself."

"Shit, that itches like fuck." Shizuo sneezed again as he waved the air in front of him and wiped his face. His sunglasses had some residue, but he had nothing but his pants to clean them with. The vein at his forehead throbbed. The man took a step back.

"I gave all my money away already. I'm sorry. Really sorry, I lied about my watch. It is real, but my daughter gave it to me, and I'd rather not lose it, but you can have it. Here take it. It's a Breguet. Pretty, right? The time is off, but that's okay, the knob is easy to turn." He struggled with the clasp as he was also bowing in apology.

"I don't want your fancy watch," Shizuo said. "Could you just answer some of my questions?"

"Questions?" He rubbed the back of his hand in a jerky manner. "Okay, yes questions seem like a good non-threatening solution. I like questions." He was trembling a little and it looked like he might piss himself.

Shizuo pointed to a rock nearby. "Sit down." The man did just that, slowly and with an obvious slow limp. Shizuo wanted to roll his eyes. On an island of killers and this feeble man was here? Jeez.

"Alright," Shizuo said as calmly as he could, "did you see any large red X's around here? They could be carved or painted. Maybe not red, but orange?"

The man looked blankly up at him, before gulping. "Eh?"

Izaya suppressed a chuckle from behind his sleeve. "Let me do this. So who are you?"

"Hey, I was going to ask that next," Shizuo frowned as he glared at Izaya.

The man looked nervously between the two of them. "Mura Kazuki."

"So Mura-san, how did you come to be on this island?" Izaya continued.

"I don't know why I was put here. I'm actually a botanist, and I was..." his voice wavered, and he gripped his hands tightly. "I was working on a project with conserving endemic flora on certain islands, and I was trying to stop the sales of private islands that had a lot of potentially medicinal plants. I was trying to sneak in by boat and preserve a few, but I was caught and knocked out. I woke up two days ago in a building. I really chose the wrong island, huh. What terrible luck. The people here...the really bad people here, I don't even know if they are human. I al-almost got killed a couple of times, but luckily I have some of my special spray with me. Oh, I'm really sorry about spraying you as well. Can I, eh...have it back though? Maybe after you're done questioning me?" He smiled disarmingly.

"So you know where we are?"

"I have a rough estimate. I never actually reached any island when a huge yacht caught up with me. We're probably somewhere maybe Southeast of the Seychelles. At least I think so. There are a lot of flora and fauna endemic to the Seychelles islands here and some that I have never even seen before! I've collected some samples too. This island is quite frankly extraordinary."

"Did you have one of these around your neck when you woke up?" Izaya pointed to the metal around his neck.

"No."

"Does anyone know that you are here, or that you set out to sneak onto private property."

"Oh. Yeah, I didn't tell anyone."

"And where do you live in Japan?"

"Osaka."

"Hmm. And why haven't you tried escaping this island? It's not exactly safe for you here."

"Well, I would like to, but I'm not the best swimmer and sailing out on a bunch of palm trees doesn't sound so safe. Well, you know I could give you something for your hand. It looks like it hasn't stopped bleeding." He was pointing at Izaya's bandaged wound.

"Oh?"

Shizuo scrutinized the man in front of them. While he thought this guy was telling the truth, he also had a gut feeling that he was leaving out some things. This man was like some of the lowlifes Tom-san and he would go after, acting all pitiful in order to get an extension on the money due. How much he was playing on his vulnerability kind of instinctively annoyed Shizuo.

"Hold on a second. How did you get the blood on your sleeves?" Shizuo asked.

The man looked down and picked at the cuffs of his sleeves. "Yesterday someone had been chasing me, but he fell into a pit of stakes. I tried lifting him out, but his stomach had been punctured. Sorry, I am a doctor, but not of the medical kind. But I do have some salves. And I know some plants here that are edible."

He pulled out a small leather satchel from the inside of his shirt.

"And did you meet anyone else here?"

"Actually, earlier this morning I met a giant hairy man covered in mud. And he was naked. I thought he was Bigfoot! He seemed a bit dazed and I tried to offer my assistance to him, including my shoes, but his, uh... feet were huge. He was mumbling things in Russian, but I managed to ask him how this happened to him with my rudimentary Russian. He said that he got knocked up by Shizu-chan."

"Knocked up?" Shizuo growled. "No way. You've got to be shitting me."

"Unless I misheard, that was what he said, and I wondered if there was perhaps an even larger man out there, but it could be that he was just confused because he was lacking in Magnesium and Potassium and was dehydrated. He did seem a little too happy if you know what I mean." Shizuo didn't, and he didn't want to know. "But I think he was a charming fellow."

Shizuo didn't pay any mind to Izaya who was snickering way too much. "I like this guy," Izaya said with a grin.

"I didn't knock him up, dammit. I knocked him  _away_! He just happened to fly up!"

"Oh, so you're Shizu-chan...san? Shizu-san?"

Izaya was being an unhelpful little shit and wouldn't stop laughing.

"No. My name is Heiwajima Shizuo. Don't ever call me something as stupid as Shizu-chan."

"Yeah, or else Shizu-chan we'll show you how scary he can get~!"

"Shut up!"

Izaya continued to grin, his face even more flushed than before. He was probably coming down with a fever. "Hold on a second, please." He said to the older man and pulled Izaya back a few steps, making sure that there was a sizable gap of space between them and the man.

Izaya glared up at him. Shizuo leaned closer, wanting to whisper what he had to say so that the guy wouldn't overhear this. Izaya leaned further back with a frown. This close and Shizuo was sure that Izaya had a rise of temperature. "Hey, stop it! What do you think you're doing?" Izaya said as he was backing away from him.

"I don't really trust him, but I think it's a good test. If you die from whatever he gives you, then we know that we can't trust him."

Izaya was still trying to lean away from him, being difficult and annoying Shizuo on purpose. "Right, and if you eat whatever he gives you and you die, then we'll know that we can't trust him. That sounds like a great plan, too." Shizuo grinned in response. Finally, something they could wholeheartedly agree on.

"Um...I can still hear you?" The man called over.

Great, so much for discretion.

He straightened up and went over to the seated man. "All right, Fuwa-san, was it?"

The man shook his head. "No, but you can call me that if you want."

"It's Mura," Izaya said.

"Ok. So you think you can fix his hand?" The man nodded once more. "OK, do it, but if you try to do anything funny, Mura-san, then I'll knock you so far out into the ocean that the impact will kill you before the sharks do."

"I understand Heiwajima-san, I just want you to keep in mind that I'm not a medical doctor! I'm rudimentary at best."

"Well then, you better hope that your medical knowledge is better than your Russian, right?"

The man nodded his head, bobbing up and down like a coconut floating on water.

"Let me take a look at it first. Maybe it's not so bad." Izaya sat down with his back against the rock and his bad arm propped up on his knee. He pushed down his sleeve. It had a tattered look, like that of a broken crow, or better yet, like the bird he had seen earlier.

"Put on some hand sanitizer first," Izaya said in a bored tone, and Shizuo went through the black bag before taking out the small clear bottle and passing it along. Mura-san rubbed a decent amount between his palms and fingers before nervously unwinding the makeshift bandage that started around Izaya's wrist.

Parts of the fabric were crusted with dried blood and there was a new wetness there as well.

Had it really only been yesterday that Shizuo had wrapped the black fabric around Izaya's wound? It felt days longer than that.

"Tell me if anything I do hurts you."

Izaya slipped his free hand into his coat pocket and he looked over at Mura-san with a detached air. But even so, Shizuo could tell that Izaya was observing this man intently. The last of the bandage fell to the ground by their feet and as gross as the caked black fabric looked, Izaya's hand was far worse.

Shizuo didn't let it show, but he wanted to look away. It was worse than yesterday. It looked like it hurt. There was fresh dark red blood as if it recently reopened. The skin near the puncture wound swelled an angry red color. It was indeed the onset of an infection.

"Can you move your fingers?" Mura-san asked.

"I'd rather not," Izaya said, but his fingers made the smallest of twitches. Izaya's cool facial expression did as well, but he used the back of his hand to wipe his face.

The red and deep purple streak across his palm looked just as bad on the back of his hand. The skin that wasn't messed up was too pale and too clammy. His veins were visible.

Maybe Shizuo shouldn't have been so rough. He frowned. It's not like it mattered that much to him. It probably would be looking a lot worse if he hadn't gotten Izaya to cover it in the first place. He shouldn't care that much.

Mura-san lightly touched the ends of Izaya's fingertips. "Do you feel that?"

"Yeah...kind of."

Fucking hell, _kind of?_ He wanted to be indifferent. He had never been the type of man to relish another's suffering: not even when he got so mad at someone that bones began to snap. Deep down he had never felt okay about it.

Even if it was Izaya, Shizuo couldn't feel good about this. He got the urge to smoke, to do something with his hands to distract himself, but instead he forced himself to watch. Just in case this Mura-san tried anything quick.

"Do you have anything to clean this?"

"No," Izaya said.

Mura-san reached into the satchel hanging around his neck and he pulled out a metal container. He unscrewed it and inside was a dark, earthy looking paste that smelled like almonds and mud and was sweet like corn. He dipped a finger in.

"This is just going to clear up some of the bacteria and help the skin heal. I can't do anything about mending the skin together, but it has mostly stopped bleeding. I'm going to apply it now."

Izaya nodded his head and he bit his bottom lip at the first contact. His arm became tense as if he was struggling not to pull his hand back.

When it was all liberally smeared around on both sides, Izaya's brows furrowed, and the flush on his cheeks was now pallid. Mura-san pulled out something new from his bag, a little blue glass dropper.

"This will help with the pain," he said. "It might make you a little lightheaded."

"All right."

Two little clear drops fell into the raw looking skin.

"Sorry, I don't have any bandages," Mura-san said with a sheepish and deprecating grin.

"It's fine," Izaya brought his hand back close to him. He pulled out his switchblade as well as the front of his shirt that was tucked in his pants. With one hand he deftly maneuvered the blade till he couldn't reach his shirt anymore and just tore the rest.

He couldn't so easily wrap it around his hand, and before Shizuo even thought about asking if Izaya needed a hand, Mura-san was already snugly dressing the wound.

His cotton black shirt could no longer be tucked in his pants, but Izaya didn't seem to care so much as he let it be. There was just the barest slim trace of skin that showed as Izaya stood up. He brushed dirt off the back of his coat.

"Thanks, and what are you going to do after this?" Izaya asked.

"Maybe pick some lunch, or explore the island some more. I'm hoping to maybe see if I can find any new plants, though afterward, I'm not so certain."

If Mura-san could do all of this, then he was pretty useful, huh? Much more useful than a certain deadweight flea.

Shizuo had a sudden idea. "So how much do you know about poisons?" He asked.

Mura-san looked taken aback by the question, but he cocked his head in thought with a frown. "Quite a lot since it comes with the job."

"And you can recognize them? Like the symptoms?"

"Typically, if it's within my knowledge. And as long as it's plant-based."

"Then you'd be able to come up with possible antidotes, right?"

"Well, if I have access to the specific ingredients, then yes, in theory."

Shizuo didn't look at Izaya who was looking rather unimpressed by his brilliant thoughts. But he knew that he was on to something good. This man was probably their ticket out of here. If they couldn't find the antidote then surely they could make it.

"If you can come up with an antidote for this, then I can get you off this island and definitely protect you from others."

Mura-san wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "That sounds great. But what am I making an antidote for?"

"There's some kind of poison in here, though I don't know what," Shizuo said and pointed at his neck before it turned to a dismissive wave of his hand towards Izaya. "In his too."


	17. A Calculated Intelligence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There won't be enough time for that. Here, hold your own nut sack."

The wound that had been spiking a burning pain all along his arm began to numb from whatever this man had given him. It meant that maybe Izaya could possibly even enjoy the last day here because already he couldn't wait for it to be over. He couldn't stand much more of this.

"So how much do you know about poisons?"

Mura looked up with a quick start, and then he looked down in apparent thought. "Quite a lot since it comes with the job."

Izaya didn't doubt for a second that this man knew a lot about poisons. He was sure that wasn't a lie.

He watched Mura's expressions carefully and listened to Shizuo's hopeless attempt at trying to come up with a solution.

"There's some kind of poison in here, though I don't know what. In his too."

So Shizuo was including him? Izaya had a wry smile. It was too bad that the protozoan's plan would never work.

"We've come across bodies with different kinds of poisons, Shizu-chan, there's no way of knowing what's in yours, and what's more, you'd need a laboratory to create most of the antidotes. But if it makes you happy, go ahead and eat flowers and grass."

Shizuo's brows furrowed.

"So that's why there are so many dead bodies!" Mura said earnestly as he rubbed his hands together. "How terrifying! I had no idea that was in those contraptions. No wonder so many people were following me! I'd be more than happy to try to help though. You said you were looking for Xs?"

Mura Kazuki wasn't a half-baked actor. He could probably fool a lot of people, but Izaya wasn't one of them. He had already slipped up.

Even though he didn't know it, saying that he had found Jakow Rokossovsky meant that he had traveled a far distance. Further than even them. With that limp of his, that shouldn't be possible. If pepper spray was his means of defense, that meant that he'd have to get close enough to use it, as well as be quick enough to dodge whatever was coming his way. He probably wouldn't survive roaming the alleyways of Ikebukuro, let alone an island of killers. And lastly, if someone had blood all over his sleeve, normally it would make sense to either roll it up or do something about it. There was a good chance that he was hiding something under his clothes.

Like a full body tattoo common among members of the Yakuza.

But the biggest hint by far was that Izaya knew that he had seen a picture of this man before, and not from any science awards. His name probably wasn't even Mura Kazuki.

"Yeah," Shizuo said. "Maybe the antidote is buried under a giant X."

Mura scratched his nose, and Izaya eyed the watch that really was too expensive for a botanist.

"I don't believe there are any Xs. Maybe you should be looking in those buildings? I passed a couple of those, but most of them were locked."

Shizuo didn't seem to like the idea very much. But this could be very entertaining.

He needed a buffer between him and Shizuo, and Mura would be the perfect distraction.

"Say, I haven't told you my name, now have I?" Izaya watched Mura's expression carefully. "I'm Orihara Izaya."

There wasn't much of a reaction but a twitch of the lips that turned to a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Orihara-san." Mura bowed his head.

Izaya grinned back. So this man knew of him. He was glad, very glad. Maybe he could have some fun. "And you as well."

It was then that Shizuo's stomach growled.

Mura perked up immediately, overly eager to prove his worth. "I can identify some edible plants if you would like to try them?"

"I guess it depends on what...I'm not eating any mushrooms," Shizuo said. He began to walk back in the direction they had originally been walking in.

Mura had a contemplative expression, but he smiled once more and began to slowly walk close to Shizuo. "I think I'll be able to find something to your liking."

Izaya smirked. He wondered how much poison would actually affect Shizuo, though he doubted anything naturally occurring on the island would be enough to kill this monster.

Izaya had already considered the possibility that he'd been poisoned.

He shouldn't have taken that unnecessary risk of exposing himself. But the pain in his hand hadn't been something he could easily ignore, as it had burned and swelled for hours and was only getting worse. He had also been curious about what this man was capable of, not counting on the fact that Mura would put himself on the line by poisoning him so soon.

What he was trying to figure out was why this man didn't have a collared device.

It was certainly the biggest variable. It could mean a number of things, including the slim possibility that he was telling the truth. But more probable was that maybe he had a different set of rules for this island. Maybe his role wasn't to find an antidote but to make the game more interesting.

Maybe he wasn't here to be punished, but he was enjoying this as a willing participant.

There were too many possibilities. A limitless amount of them that Izaya analyzed as he watched the limping figure ahead of him.

"...a very fine flower, I think so too." Mura was pointing to a white flower that Shizuo had stopped in front of. Izaya had seen that flower in passing but hadn't really taken an interest in it before. " _Vanilla Phalaenopsis_. First time for me actually seeing one. It's part of the Orchidaceae family. A true beauty, right?"

Izaya didn't really agree. But he liked it for other reasons. He could kind of understand why it was called such. With a thick, long stem made up of many nodes, and hanging from below the flower were many dropping, pod-like shapes. And that wasn't even the strangest thing about it. The actual flower was made of five long petals, two of which were more triangular, and one funnel-shaped petal that opened up prettily with a pink, slightly orange tinged center.

"I guess it kind of looks pretty." Shizuo finally said as he was still staring at it intently.

Izaya really couldn't resist. "Oh, so you find it pretty, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo frowned. He didn't give a response, choosing to ignore him.

Izaya narrowed his eyes. "Hmmm? Even though it looks like an asshole?" He grinned.

It looked like the flower would snap off the stem with the force that Shizuo was now glaring at it. One of Shizuo's eyebrows twitched as he looked over.

That's right, get angry.

"The fuck it does." He shoved his hands in his pockets before continuing walking. "Shitty flea."

Izaya's smirk lessened. He had been expecting something...more than that. But then his expression twisted in a sneer. What did it matter? He hoped that Shizuo would hurry up and get poisoned so that he could laugh about it.

It just frustrated him more. He had to keep on hating Shizuo. He  _needed_  to hate him. Anything else couldn't be allowed.

He brought his hand to his forehead, brushing his damp bangs out of his eyes. The sweet fragrance of the flower permeating in the air made him nauseous.

Shizuo looked back probably noticing that he hadn't been walking, and Izaya felt the dizziness grow. He forced himself to walk.

Was this the lightheaded feeling that Mura had said might happen? Or had he really been poisoned? A minute later of just concentrating on his breathing, and Izaya only felt slightly better. It was easier to maintain his focus on watching his own feet than on the chatter around him.

Roughly a half an hour later, Shizuo stopped this time. "What in hell are those?" Izaya glanced to where Shizuo was pointing.

"I absolutely cannot believe this, is it...is that...!" Mura gasped and quickened his pace. "Is that the lodoicea? Oh God, look at the size of those seeds! And the shape? It's so different, it must be a distant cousin. It might even be a new species."

Hanging from where the trunk of the tree met the incredibly large and dense fanning leaves was a cluster of dark brown, hairy looking lumps. Lumps that were fused together and honestly looked like overly large testicles.

Izaya caught up with them and then he whistled low. This was almost too good to be true. He turned towards Shizuo who had a glower on his face. Izaya didn't have to look at Mura to know that he was gushing.

"Just look how they hang so delicately! And the exterior is as tough as you'd expect. Is it also dioecious? I wonder what the endosperm is like on the inside?"

"Could you please keep your thoughts to yourself?" Shizuo asked slowly with clear irritation.

"Right, sorry." Mura walked close right to the bulbose base of the trunk. He looked on the ground and then back up. "I do believe you can eat the seeds. Even more amazing is that the double coconut has been credited as an aphrodisiac as well as an antidote for certain poisons. The endosperm, oh sorry, the flesh has been used in Chinese medicines and soups. While this isn't the same double coconut, I'm sure it shares some similar properties."

Shizuo's glower deepened. If Mura didn't stop soon, then he might just get killed by dinosaur sized testicles.

Izaya snickered. "Why, this might just be the antidote we've been looking for. These nuts could save our lives! What are you waiting for, Shizu-chan? Get up there and pick a couple! The biggest and hairiest you can find."

Shizuo crossed his arms. "Shut up."

Mura pushed aside some brush and found a giant one on the ground. He picked it up. "Gosh, this must be 15 kilograms at least. I could probably break headlines with this. My very own discovery."

It took him a few seconds longer than it should have, but Izaya thought of something great.

"Ah, if you need a name for it, I got a good one," Izaya smiled. "Why not name it the Heiwajima coconut! Or Heiwajima nuts! Great, right? Shizu-chan saw it first, and normally you name something after the person who discovered it, right?"

"Hey, don't you dare even think about using my name." He shoved Mura to keep on walking, and Mura held his prized nuts in his hands. It was so big it rested just under his chin.

"So it is dioecious!" Further up was a similar tall palm tree but where the cluster of seeds should have been were long drooping phallic like structures. "This must be the male species of the palm tree. You see some plants have separate male and female parts. That's the male inflorescence, you can tell because—"

"I think we can tell why," Shizuo interrupted. "That's just great. Trees with dicks and balls. Now I've seen everything."

"Yes, isn't it so wonderful that you left Ikebukuro and now have opened your eyes to the world's greatest mysteries," Izaya said.

Shizuo tsked. Mura was now looking around the base of the tree. "Ugh, please tell me you're not searching for a dick as well," Shizuo muttered.

"Don't judge," Izaya said. "Let the man have a complete set." Unfortunately, there wasn't a plant dick anywhere on the ground, so Mura was attempting to climb the tree trunk on his own. It was a pathetic sight since his legs weren't able to fully wrap around the trunk. It didn't seem like he had the strength to do it either. He got back down and stared imploringly up into the tree.

"Well...?" Izaya looked at Shizuo and motioned for him to get on up. He was honestly delighted when Shizuo went towards the tree and easily climbed the trunk. Izaya struggled to get his phone out in time to record Shizuo going dick picking. He managed to get the last few moments, right as Shizuo plucked the closest one before jumping back down. Shizuo threw the thing at the poor man, though Mura's joy was overwhelming as he thanked Shizuo furiously, flashing the plant dick around like a prized trophy. Izaya discreetly put his phone away.

They continued through the dense terrain and only occasionally stopped. Mura also knew where there was a source of water, a little stream that he had been drinking from, which they took a short break at.

Mura was happy enough to explain the wildlife to Shizuo, and Izaya could tell that Shizuo was slowly and passively accepting the man's easy chatter, his mistrust easing away as Mura tried to charm him. Shizuo was even carrying the heavy seed for the man.

Mura Kazuki was proving to be an amusing human.

Izaya wasn't entirely sure just how much the man was lying, but he did know that Mura was good at deceiving others because there was some truth in his lies. Had he studied the plant life here before entering this game? Had he been prepared?

It was possible.

A woosh of swaying tree branches sounded to their right as a man with a long sharpened spear broke out from a ledge over their heads. It was obviously an act of desperation, with no clear plan of attack besides taking them by surprise in the hopes that he could spear them one after the other. All it took was a quick chop from Shizuo and the spear snapped. The man was smart enough to run immediately after that, and he was very lucky that Shizuo didn't feel like chasing him and throwing him across the island.

Izaya occasionally checked his phone. Four hours had passed and in that time, Izaya observed the man, waiting for him to make his move and waiting for him to poison Shizuo. It was four hours of listening to Mura talk about plant life and trying to convince Shizuo to eat certain things, though Shizuo was surprisingly picky considering the garbage he ate back home.

He only did eat one thing though, a palm of heart from a small shoot that was growing into some kind of palm tree. He had ripped it from the ground like it was straw and shed it easily. He only ate some after Mura had eaten a bit of it. Apparently to Shizuo, it tasted like string dipped in mild vegetable sauce, whatever that meant. Shizuo had offered some to him, but Izaya declined.

He did so because he was nauseous.

It wasn't just a fogginess that he felt now, but a creeping numbness that started from his arm and was spreading through his body.

He knew that something hadn't been right for awhile now. It was clear that he had underestimated Mura Kazuki from the start. Izaya had thought that if Mura tried to poison them, it would be at the same time, but now it was obvious that he wanted to take Izaya down first. Mura had given him a slow-acting poison intentionally so that as time passed, he could gain Shizuo's trust. But normally that would never work because no one was dumb enough to trust someone who poisoned their...most hated enemy.

Izaya had to cover his mouth so that he wouldn't burst out in laughter.

It wasn't so much of a stretch that someone could recognize him, as he had on few occasions dealings with Yakuza throughout many prefectures in Japan. If they knew of him, then it wasn't difficult to figure out his enemies, the most obvious one being Heiwajima Shizuo. And if any visiting members of the Yakuza ever did come to Tokyo, they were all warned to especially not mess with a man in a bartender uniform.

Izaya wondered just how deadly the poison in his system was. Was it enough to kill him, or just make him sick?

Was the man now waiting for Izaya to collapse so that he could then convince Shizuo to either leave him or kill him, or would he try to attack Shizuo? No, Mura knew that Shizuo wasn't someone you could beat in a fight. Was he waiting for Izaya to speak up and accuse him?

Ah, supposing that Mura did know who they were and that he had poisoned him, then Mura would also know that Izaya knew that he had been poisoned. Then he probably had multiple plans depending on how Izaya would act and then how Shizuo would react.

Mura was probably gambling on Shizuo's hatred. It was a smart choice. And now that Shizuo had someone else to rely on, someone who knew the island well, then he didn't really need Izaya.

How interesting! Mura-san far exceeded his expectations. And he thought that he could fool both of them? Izaya smirked.

He was equally curious to see how Shizuo would react. Shizuo who always had a tendency to ruin the most intricate of plans.

Izaya's head was beginning to throb. He would have to act soon before-

"Hey, are you all right?"

Izaya looked up and Shizuo had an eyebrow raised as he waited for a response. With the nuts in his hands he looked somewhat ridiculous.

Izaya hadn't said anything for some time, and his tongue felt thick and heavy as he answered. "Yeah."

"You're slowing us down. Do you need a break?"

Izaya grinned slowly. "No." Forming longer sentences was a hassle. The elderly man's face was scrunched up in careful concern.

Shizuo shook his head and was turning around.

Izaya took a step forward and his stepping faltered, his leg not cooperating to support his full weight. He hit the ground, but the numbness didn't even let him feel it.

He figured this was a good enough time to lay back and see what would happen. See how everyone would react. He closed his eyes and let his body relax.

"What the...? Hey, are you tired or something?" A shoe tapped his shoulder. "Hey flea, wake up or I'm going to start dragging you."

He was flipped onto his back, and Izaya didn't let it show that the sudden motion made him feel dizzy. "What the hell? Did you fall on your head and die?"

Maybe Izaya would just end up laughing if Shizuo continued being an idiot.

Shizuo was beginning to shake him, and Izaya wondered if maybe playing dead would just backfire tremendously. He was sure that if he had eaten anything he would have already thrown up.

"Hey! Wake up, flea."

He felt a hand on his forehead. "Mura-san, do you have anything that will wake him up?"

Maybe Shizuo was dumb enough to forget what they had agreed on, but Izaya wasn't. He'd 'wake up' if the other man tried. If Mura-san was smart, then he'd try to kill him now.

"It's probably better if we leave him. He's already been slowing us down."

"Huh? Leave him? What are you talking about, he was fine a second ago." The hand that had been on his forehead moved to his wrist, and Izaya felt a gentle press of warm fingers.

"He hasn't been," Mura spoke slowly and solemnly as a doctor would when imparting a difficult diagnosis. "You saw his hand. It's a shame the infection was too much for him. There's no telling when he will even wake up, and we don't have the proper tools to help him."

"It's that bad?"

"It is. He needs rest, the traveling is too much. It's better if we come back for him."

"There won't be enough time for that. Here, hold your own nut sack." Shizuo said and gave Mura's balls back to him.

A hand went to his lower back before he was lifted and flipped over. He was being carried at the waist, level with Shizuo's own waist. His limp arms and legs were trailing close to the ground. The blood rush to his head was not helping his nausea problem, he thought he would be sick. Maybe even pass out for real.

"Ah, what a pain," Shizuo mumbled.

He was once again moved, but this time was worse. Honestly, he'd rather be dragged. For what could be more humiliating than being carried in this monster's arms? His head had no support, and it was beyond uncomfortable. A moment later, Shizuo readjusted him, and Izaya would have preferred his head lolling in the air than resting against Shizuo's bare chest.

He obviously hadn't planned this very well.

Apparently, Mura thought the same.

"It won't wake him up, but I can give him more medicine."

Shizuo didn't let him down just yet. "You have medicine?"

"Yeah, hold on a second."

He could hear the rustling of fabric and feel the wave-like movements as Shizuo breathed.

"Hey, you gave that to him before, right?"

"Yeah, it's for pain relief."

"Should have made you do this the first time. Take some."

There was a brief hesitation. "Alright."

"If you don't hurry it up, I'll give you something to need the pain relief for...You gave Izaya more than that."

"See it's perfectly harmless and all natural."

"You have one chance to tell me honestly. Did you do this to him?"

The arms holding him tensed, and Izaya wondered if he was going to be crushed or thrown soon. Maybe Shizuo wasn't so dumb as to be fooled.

"No, those are symptoms of the infection. I don't have any fever medication."

Shizuo carefully plopped him back down. He walked a few steps away.

"I don't believe you."

Izaya cracked an eye open to see Shizuo lifting Mura by his shirt. "Do you remember what I said? Do anything funny, and I'd knock you into the ocean. Now tell me what you really did."

"Alright, alright, Heiwajima-san. To be honest, I don't trust Orihara-san. I've heard stories about him, and frankly, I think he's been tricking you all this entire time. He's not really trying to help you. It's better if you just leave him here. You don't owe him anything."

"Yeah, I know that already, but you didn't answer my question."

"I'm...only trying to help."

"What are you hiding, huh?" Shizuo growled.

There was a loud tearing sound of cloth ripping.

Did Shizuo really...? Izaya shifted to get a better look, his cheek pressed against dried leaves, and what he saw made him grin derisively. It only really proved how irrational Shizuo was when normal people wouldn't ever go that far.

Shizuo had actually ripped Mura's shirt down the middle. The little brown satchel hung from the man's neck and Shizuo pulled on that as well. He eyed the bright ink designs all along his torso and stomach of an oni and koi swimming around it. "Are you still going to say you didn't do anything?"

"I am helping you," Mura-san's tone was self-assured and charming. "Aren't you the same Heiwajima Shizuo who hates Orihara Izaya enough to try to kill him on sight? I thought I was doing you a favor! Am I wrong?"

"No, you aren't wrong," Shizuo said as he held Mura by the shoulders. "But what makes you think you know me well enough to decide what's good for me, huh?"

"I would never presume to know you so well. Though we both know that Orihara isn't to be trusted."

"There you go again. Are you trying to annoy me?"

"Of course not? I'm only saying what you yourself know about Orihara Izaya."

"Look, I know Izaya enough to not trust him, but I don't know you enough to trust you, so since you've lost your chance to be trusted, I now know not to trust you and to continue to trust the flea's untrustworthiness."

"Oh, but if you already don't trust Orihara-san, who is your self-proclaimed enemy, then wouldn't it be wiser to believe in me who has never done anything to you?" Mura said coaxingly.

"Yeah, I mistrust Izaya, but I also distrust you."

"But don't mistrust and distrust mean the same thing?"

"No. I have no good reason to trust Izaya, but I have no reason to trust you."

"So you do admit that trusting Izaya is a bad decision?" Mura said as he looked up at Shizuo.

"Whoever said I trusted Izaya?"

"But you just sai—"

"You aren't listening to me. Yeah, and if you care about your life then you'd better tell me what you did to him."

Mura seemed to still be trying to think up a way to convince Shizuo, but with a wince from a tightening grip by his shoulder, he held up his arms. Maybe he realized it was pointless to rationalize with Shizuo.

"He'll be fine, what's in his system is only a temporary inhibitor that acts as a mild paralyzer. It will dissipate in an hour or so."

"Alright. And are you hiding anything else about the antidote for these collars?"

Mura looked past Shizuo and their eyes met. Izaya smirked. "I don't know anything about an antidote. But I know for sure that Orihara is hiding something from you. And keep this in mind, a man who has something to hide, hides from everyone."

"Yeah, well, no surprise there." Shizuo said, "Now leave before I send you airborne, you two-faced scumbag."

Mura backed away from Shizuo. It was clear from his face that it looked like he hadn't been bested. He turned his back to them. His tattered coat hung from his sleeves like the wings of a broken insect. He shed it off as he walked, and his limp was gone. For an elder man, he was fit. Izaya couldn't tell if whether there were any new additional scars on his back, because of the green scales tattooed on his skin, with random cherry blossoms. A lotus flower was below his shoulder blades and emerging from within the petals was a hand flipping them off with the middle finger.

"Hmm, not bad. I kinda like him now," Shizuo said before he turned, and their eyes met. "Oh, you're awake. Mura-san poisoned you."

Izaya lifted himself into a sitting position. "Yeah, I figured that out a while ago."

"What?" Shizuo scoffed. "And you didn't think to tell me?"

"Pfft, that would have been boring."

"You're such a fucking pain," Shizuo said. "Can you get up?"

"Yeah," Izaya tried to do so, but he felt the blood rush to his head. He ended up just sitting back down with his head down in his arms. It was only for a moment that he felt safe before he forced himself to face his monster.

* * *

If only Shizuo had ripped Mura Kazuki's clothes a little further, then he would have found the bands of metal around the man's thighs. But knowing wouldn't have changed anything. It probably would have just hurt all the more.


	18. Trololo We Go~  ♬♪♫

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lololololo~  
> lololo~ lololol~ Lalalalah!~  
> Trololololo~ lalala~ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I just have one semi-real request (well if you want to feel the full experience of this chapter). Look up the Trololo song by Eduard Khil and watch the song before you read, or have it ready during the chapter. Or when you're finished reading. Obviously the song lyrics aren't mine to this brilliant song. And no, I'm not trolling you.
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading and sending me your thoughts!

"He left his plant dick and nuts." Shizuo pointed at said abominations. Izaya was still sitting and it didn't look like he was going to get back up anytime soon.

"Well yeah, remember when we found out he's not a real botanist?" Izaya smirked. Shizuo wondered if it was not too late to lob the objects where Mura-san had gone, but then he did recall some invaluable information.

"Hah, I do remember that he said double coconuts were an antidote for poisons. So why don't you try it? It might make you feel better." Whether this was true or not made little difference to Shizuo. But having carried that heavy seed for hours, it would be a shame if he didn't force Izaya to suffer from it somehow.

"Hmm," Izaya eyed the double coconut by his feet. "To eat of the forbidden nut?" His smirk had a playful edge. Shizuo wasn't too sure that coconuts were even nuts, but he guessed that wasn't the point. "Why, don't mind if I do."

Shizuo knew that it would take considerable force for the average person to open it. He sat a half meter away from Izaya and reached for the double coconut. His fingers dipped into the tough shell before there was a great cracking noise and the nutsack-like coconut broke in half. He had used too much force. Clear liquid came out, specks of it landing on his chest and neck.

Izaya laughed loudly with his arms crossed over his stomach.

"What?" Shizuo growled.

It looked like he would double over. "Nice pearl necklace."

Shizuo tsked and wiped the liquid off. The coconut had a sweet and slightly nutty smell. As Shizuo breathed it in, it had a soothing effect. It was nice. He emptied the rest over Izaya's head. "There, now you smell good."

His hair glistened where the sun filtered through the leaves. "Hmm? Does Shizu-chan like the smell of what comes from big hairy balls?" Izaya continued to laugh heartily. He rubbed a hand along his neck where it had dripped down. "Am I irresistible to you now?"

"Gross." Shizuo smacked him light enough that Izaya only fell back. "Who the fuck says that kind of shit?"

"Oh, but you are always going around smelling me." Some dried up leaves stuck to the back of his neck and hair when he got up.

"As if I do it on purpose," Shizuo snapped, but realizing what he said, he grimaced and passed the split coconut onto Izaya's lap. "Hurry up and get better so we can continue searching."

Shizuo never had the chance to eat fresh coconuts before. He had tried coconut water a few times, but it was somewhat expensive and he preferred water and milk anyway. Seeing the white insides, he figured that it didn't look as nasty as it did on the outside. He didn't let that disappoint him.

"Yep." The flea pulled out his folding knife from his coat pocket. "Could you pass me your lighter?"

Shizuo dug into his pant's pocket and understanding what Izaya wanted to do, he got the flame going for him. Izaya ran the blade over the flame and did the same for the other side. He also used the hand sanitizer for his good hand. With a flick of his wrist, parts of the white coconut flesh were carved away like butter.

Shizuo watched as Izaya took a tentative bite.

"This is actually kind of good." He ate a couple more slices.

Though Shizuo had eaten part of that palm tree, it hadn't tasted particularly good. But what he was smelling made his stomach clench painfully. The way Izaya was eating it wasn't helping either, all exaggerated like it was a slice of coconut heaven. Shizuo wasn't even sure that he was partial to coconut, but as Izaya softly moaned, he thought that he might be. Partial to coconuts, that is.

"Hey, can I try some?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya lifted up an eyebrow. "So _now_ you want the endosperm?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Just give me a piece."

Izaya carved a large slice and passed it over. "Thanks," Shizuo said before he took a bite. It was softer than he expected it to be. The taste had just the right kind of natural sweetness to it with a hint of citrus. He must have been making a face since Izaya handed him some more. If he didn't think too hard about the fact that it had once been from a nutsack, then he could honestly enjoy this.

Once the double coconut was finished, Izaya cleaned his knife and folded it back.

Shizuo waited expectantly. "So...do you feel any better?"

"Can't say for sure." Izaya put some weight on his legs before standing fully. He could take a few slow unsteady steps, but it wasn't like they could wait for who knew how long before Izaya felt well again.

Shizuo stood up as well. "Alright, what if you leaned on me while you walked?"

Izaya looked at him like he had just said something completely ridiculous. "Let's be reasonable here. I'm sure I could lean on a walking stick or something."

Shizuo growled like an ill-tempered dog as he looked around for a decent enough tree branch. It took longer than it should to find one that Izaya liked. And it took no time at all to figure out that even with the walking stick, Izaya was shit at walking. He had to stop every three steps. Three arduously long steps.

"Well, we aren't going to be finding the antidote by walking like snails!" Shizuo finally snapped in anger.

"It's walking at a snail's pace, idiot."

"Well, you sure are walking like a shitty snail by dragging your feet. Turn back into a flea."

"Why, what a brilliant idea, Shizu-chan! Why don't I just unpoison myself too. That way, then I can feel my legs again. But, what's this? Human's can't just magically unpoison themselves? I guess then I'm going to be stuck as a snail."

"Fine, you want to be a snail? Then I'll treat you like one." Shizuo huffed before he grabbed Izaya's right hand and began walking. Of course, Izaya took a few steps before falling, which was when Shizuo just began dragging the flea-turned snail.

The soles of his heels dragged against dead leaves and dirt. Shizuo didn't bother checking to see how Izaya was faring.

"Ow...ow. Are you going to pull my arm out of its socket?" Izaya groaned.

"Would you rather I drag you by your neck?"

Izaya grumbled but didn't say anything else. They continued to walk. The flea's wrist was thin in his grasp.

"Ow." There were uneven tree roots and a fallen tree that they went over.

"...ow." There was a bush that they went through with thorns.

"...ow..." A bunch of rocks and ferns were in their way.

"Ow...Can you stop? I'm losing blood in my hand."

Izaya was lucky that he didn't snap off his hand. "Well, can you stop being difficult?" Shizuo muttered. He lifted Izaya up and then put him on his back.

"What am I now, your cape?"

"Just hang on," Shizuo said and started to walk faster. Izaya's feet were still getting in the way as if he were intentionally trying to trip him. "Would you quit that? Move your legs."

"Hmm. I would, but they don't seem to be cooperating." Or he just didn't want to.

Shizuo used one hand to feel back and he grabbed onto the back of Izaya's thigh.

"You know how close that was to my ass?" Izaya said right by his ear.

"Thought you said you couldn't feel your legs." Shizuo did the same to Izaya's other leg.

"Yeah well, apparently, I can feel right under my ass."

Finally, he was giving Izaya a proper piggyback ride. "Just shut it and try not to fall off."

They walked fine for roughly twenty minutes. But Shizuo was beginning to notice an uncomfortable warmth. Though the humidity wasn't as bad as yesterday, with the added mass of carrying dead weight and the black bag, Shizuo soon realized that Izaya with his dumbass coat was generating a ton of heat.

"Ah, hot! I'm sweating balls here!" Shizuo groaned in exasperation. "Could you take off your coat or something?"

"And what, feel your sweat directly? No thank you."

"Then stop burning up!" Shizuo dropped one of Izaya's legs so that he could undo his buckle and reach into his pants.

"Are you really touching yourself while carrying me?" Izaya scoffed. "Do you have any self-control?"

"Shut up!" Once he was done readjusting everything and his pants were back in place, he went to grab Izaya's leg.

"What's wrong with you? Use the hand sanitizer first."

"Arg. Fine, you get it for me."

The bag was tied to his elbow, and Izaya reached in for it. He rummaged there for a little bit, tilting in a way that Shizuo was sure that he would just slide right off because of all the sweat. "Got it."

Izaya squeezed a generous amount into Shizuo's palm before recapping it and putting it in the bag.

Shizuo couldn't so easily wipe it around with just one hand, but he managed. "There, happy?"

"Only marginally," Izaya muttered. "There's not enough for your whole body."

Shizuo frowned, but he continued walking. He tried to be extra careful with his stepping so that Izaya wouldn't complain. It was still rather hot, but Shizuo gritted his teeth and bore with it.

The white flowers that they had seen earlier were growing along a large boulder. Shizuo scrutinized them as he walked, thinking that they were pretty, but dammit, they weren't assholes!

He passed the flowers. There was a slight decline in the terrain and larger boulders that he walked by. The variety of trees wasn't so different, mostly palms, some fat but all were tall, stretching far into the air and branching out over his head. The fanning leaves shaded the sun. Birds would occasionally chirp with their exotic sounding calls. It was peaceful, especially with the flea getting quiet.

His collar beeped.

" _You now have 12 hours remaining. Good luck."_

He felt his annoyance grow, hotter than the heat against his back. What was he supposed to be looking for again? Fucking Xs and maps? This was impossible!

Izaya shifted. Both of his arms were over Shizuo's shoulders.

Shizuo eyed the ugly fur lining. It half covered where Izaya had the black bandages on his hand.

"12 hours?" Izaya mumbled and put his head down on his arm. "Move faster, Shizu-chan. You're running out of time."

"You are too." The ends of Izaya's hair tickled near his ear. "I don't even know where to go."

Izaya made a soft noise by his ear, but Shizuo couldn't exactly turn his head.

"What did you say?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya didn't respond.

"Flea?"

Izaya's breathing was evening out. He must have been dead tired if he actually passed out. Wait...was he dead? No, he wasn't dead if he was still breathing. Yeah, that's how it worked. Izaya would be the worst shit if he died while forcing Shizuo to carry him. Being a dead weight for real. Dammit, he should just be dragging the flea as the pest deserved. But instead, he made sure to step carefully.

Shizuo continued in the direction that he had chosen. He could tell that they were near the shore's edge because of the stronger smell of salt and the light sound of the waves surging over the sand.

He slightly leaned forward as he walked so that Izaya wouldn't fall back for not holding on. But if he did fall, that was the flea's damn fault.

Some wind rushed through the trees and it ruffled the damp ends of his hair. He took in a deep breath. The cool air against his warm body was refreshing and he stopped for a moment to relax. Though he had been holding Izaya for some time, it wasn't like the added weight hindered him. He was aware of the warmth against his back and the deep breathing by his ear.

He realized that this should be bothering him a lot more.

Maybe if Izaya had been snoring then he would have been annoyed. Pissed even for being used like furniture. But that sounded like a petty thing to be annoyed about when Izaya's entire presence was draped over his shoulders. Willingly too because he had been the one to put him there.

He could smell the hint of coconut, flea, and his own sweat if he turned his head to the right where his shoulder was partially being used as a pillow.

"If you drool on me, you're dead," he muttered.

He really wanted a shower. He hated feeling gross. The first thing he would do once he got home was take a shower. Then he'd go out and grab something to eat. He was in the mood for chicken nuggets. He'd find a payphone to call Tom-san since his cellphone had been crushed. He hoped that Kasuka didn't know that he was gone, that way he'd call just to hear how he was doing. It would probably be a similar conversation that they usually had. The ones that had gotten less and less frequent, but Shizuo was sure that once he'd get back, he'd call him and ask about his latest project. He had forgotten the name of the new drama that he was going to be featured in, but Shizuo already knew that it was going to be great.

Then he'd sleep. Sleep for an entire day if he could, and hopefully, he'd dream of nothing.

Izaya shifted and turned closer to the back of his neck.

Shizuo wondered if Izaya would be the same little pest once he got back home. He couldn't imagine him being a decent law abiding citizen, so he'd probably be the same. But if Izaya did manage to get them back, then yeah, he wouldn't throw anything at him, like he promised. What a shitty thing to promise since Shizuo was doing all the leg work. Well, he'd still chase him out of Ikebukuro. Like hell that was going to change.

He hoped they were going in the right direction. Shizuo just kept walking. The dirt was looser as the sand from the beach had scattered here. The wind was picking up once more, cooling him down in the process and rustling the tree branches.

" _Ahhh ya yaa yaaah~_

_ya ya yaaah~_

_yaah ya yay~!_

_Ohohohohooo~_

_Oh ya yaaah~_

_Yaah ya yah~"_

Shizuo stopped, as he heard a deep, full resonating voice with a mellow tone, somewhere nearby. He thought the voice sounded familiar.

" _Yeh ye ye ye yeh~_

_ye yeh yeeh~_

_ye ye yeh~_

_Ohohohohoooo~!"_

With deep annoyance, he realized why. He was almost positive that was Jakow's voice. He'd heard him humming only once before, but he recognized the baritone. Shizuo quietly found a low-hanging brush of thick leaves. Was Jakow looking for him? There was a slight echo to the singing, even though they were on an island.

" _Nah nah nah nah~_

_nuh nuh nuh~_

_nuh nuh nuh~_

_nuh nuh nah!~_

_Nah nah nah nah~_

_Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~!_ "

"What the fuck is that song?" He mumbled as he gently set Izaya down. He could now hear the thudding steps, not directly coming towards them, but close enough. If Jakow was still naked...ah, fuck. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't even want to check to see if the man was close by.

Why did he sound so happy? Why was he singing?

It was pissing him off.

_"Lololololooooooooooooo!~_

_Lah la-laaah~_

_La la laah~ lol~ haha!~_

_Ohohohoho~ ho ho ho~"_

The voice was getting louder and Shizuo desperately needed to be sure that he was completely covered. There was only enough space for one person where Shizuo had chosen, and Shizuo made a snap decision as he rolled on top of Izaya, careful not to touch him too much. Could Jakow see them?

" _Lololololooo~_

_AAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!_

_eeeee~ eeeee~ EEEEEEEEE~!_

_Luh~ luh~ lah~Lah~ lah~ Ohohohohooooooooo~!"_

Izaya made a small groaning noise, and Shizuo would kill him if Izaya woke up now, or alerted Jakow in any way of their presence. He lightly covered Izaya's mouth with his hand just in case. He made sure to steady his own breathing.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!

Shizuo ducked his head, his face contorting in anger as he saw in the distance two very large bare feet. They were thick, hairy ankles covered with mud. Shizuo crouched down lower.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! Don't you fucking come over here!

" _Lololololo~_

_lololo~ lololol~ Lalalalah!~_

_Trololololo~ lalala~_

_OH~ HAHAHA~ HO~!_

_HAHA~HAHA~HO~_

_HOHOHO HE HO~_

_HAHAHAHA HO~!"_

He checked to see if Izaya was still sleeping, and thankfully he was. His eyebrows were furrowed and Shizuo was muffling the struggling noises as best he could. He honestly didn't care if he suffocated Izaya at this moment because there was no way in hell he wanted to meet Jakow who seemed way too happy as he strolled naked through the forest singing.

What was wrong with this man?

" _Lolololololo~_

_Lolololololo~_

_Lolololololo~_

_Lololo~ LOL~!"_

Shizuo leaned even closer to Izaya. Their legs touched as he tried to shrink from the surroundings.

" _Ohohohohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~lolol~!"_

The singing continued, but it was heading a little further off and slowed slightly as in a Doppler effect. He stayed low to the ground, not even caring how close he actually was anymore.

_"Lolololo~ lololo~ lololo~_

_Oh~ho~ho~ho~hoooooooooooooooooooooo!"_

When Jakow was far enough that his singing was only a mellow creeping thing, Shizuo lifted up his hand. Then he realized...what if he had accidentally crushed the flea? He had been bruised earlier...

Izaya's face was flushed. His breathing was uneven, his lips slightly parted.

"Izaya?"

He was slowly coming to, his eyes heavy-lidded as he blinked. He was lifting himself with his weight on his elbows.

And like an idiot, Shizuo had forgotten that he was still atop of him.

"Oh, sorry." He sat up, but that wasn't much better since he was sitting astride him. He carefully stepped off.

Those dazed eyes blinked at him twice before widening, looking where Shizuo had been sitting. His shirt had been hiked up. Oops.

"Ah! God!" Izaya dropped back to the ground and moved away in horror. It looked like he was trying to put enough distance between them, but under the brush and thicket, there wasn't anywhere for him to back up to. "What the fuck was that?"

He glared up at Shizuo as he crawled from under the thicket and collapsed onto his stomach, seething too as his he put some weight on his bad hand. He was still trying to struggle to get away, dragging his feet in the dead leaves and loose dirt.

"Why?" Izaya moaned with his arms covering his face. "That..."

What did he do? Had he been too rough? "Ahh...my bad? Are you okay?"

Izaya groaned, facing away.

 _What? What the hell...was that all about_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (˳˘ ɜ˘)˳ ♬♪♫
> 
> The Trololo song, also known as "I am Glad, 'cause I'm Finally Returning Back Home" is from a Russian singer.
> 
> Here's a bonus scene:
> 
> With the lingering taste of mushrooms and berries still in his mouth, Jakow smiled brightly with red stained lips, feeling a warm tingling all throughout his body. He hadn't felt this great in such a long time.
> 
> "Lololololo~
> 
> lololo~ lololol~ Lalalalah!~
> 
> Trololololo~ lalala~"
> 
> Filling up his lungs to full capacity, he sang as he strolled through the paradise around him. Cute white flowers opened up to the sun, and he didn't stop to think as he put his finger in one.
> 
> "Lololololooo~ AAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!"
> 
> It was the best way to smell flowers, that way the smell would stay with him.
> 
> He waved his hand in the air as he walked, unaware of the glaze in his eyes or the stagger in his steps. 
> 
> This was the best. This was like being one with nature!
> 
> OH~ HAHAHA~ HO~!
> 
> He sang to the mushrooms.
> 
> HAHA~HAHA~HO~
> 
> He sang back to the birds.
> 
> HOHOHO HE HO~
> 
> He sang as he felt a strange drooping plant with small yellow flowers. How endearing!
> 
> HAHAHAHA HO~!
> 
> "Lolololololo~
> 
> Lolololololo~
> 
> Lolololololo~
> 
> Lololo~ LOL~!"
> 
> He sang out his song as if he found home.
> 
> He only wished that he had someone to sing with.
> 
> "Oh~ho~ho~ho~hoooooooooooooooooooooo!"


	19. The Pants Thief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Too bad you won't be cute anymore when I'm done with you."

Rapid clicks at his fingertips. The screen is blinding white. Lights off. Wind ruffles drawn curtains. It's both day and night. He leans forward in his chair. His stomach and chest are hot, but he keeps his coat on.

The door bursts open. The sound is oddly muffled. Izaya looks over and smiles at his uninvited visitor.

"Ah, Shizu-chan. I've been expecting you." It's a lie. Shizuo should be long gone, but he's here. He's furious, snarling as Izaya's front door falls from his splintering grip.

The stomping footsteps reach his desk, reach his chair and Izaya is unable to move. He's stuck as if his legs can't move. He might as well be sitting in a wheelchair. He smiles up. "Did you miss me that much?" A hand grabs him by the shirt and lifts him onto his own desk. Pens and papers scatter under his back.

"You knew all along." Shizuo's hand wraps around his neck. Izaya still smiles, though he can't breathe. He nods his head and the pressure increases. He's suffocating.

"You left me there. This should have killed you too." He's talking about the metal collar. A monster stares at him. Izaya can't speak. His vision blurs. The room is darker. The wind is soft as it passes through trees. Dead leaves are under his head. The top of Shizuo's bartender uniform is gone. It's all lightly tanned skin and muscles. Shizuo leans into him, and it's too close, a touch away from actually touching.

Izaya's body is hot. He struggles just to breathe.

Shizuo will be able to feel just how hard he is. There's a press of skin. A hand knows, feels how little room there is left in his pants.

Izaya flushes from mortification and arousal. His own hands are useless, one still bandaged and the other tugging at the grip on his neck.

Shizuo's grin is feral, but his eyes are more so as he watches Izaya gasp and flail.

Fingers brush the front of his pants and his body reacts, wanting it just as much as he wants to breathe.

He's becoming lightheaded.

He hears a man singing nonsense words. It's a happy, mocking tune. But that doesn't matter when the zipper coming down is so much louder. A warm hand wraps around his erection. It might just be a tighter hold than the one on his throat.

"Let's see what gives out first, hmm?" He's being stroked. He's being choked. He can't even see from the angle, just two white knuckles and the tip of his head. He wonders if his own face is as dark.

Back arching against the desk only makes the pressure worse. His whole chest is seizing up, burning from the oxygen deprivation. His heart races. His limbs are weak. The way Shizuo is jerking him off is artless, it's a force as if he's going to be crushed. But even so, the pressure takes hold. Building up and twisting into an unfamiliar depravity.

He's close. Close to passing out and coming undone.

"Look at you," Shizuo says, which is funny since obviously, he can't.

But he can feel it. He's a mess. He's barely conscious. He's on the brink. He focuses on Shizuo's face. Brown eyes that hold more emotion than anyone else he's ever seen bear down on him. The usual rage isn't there, but that doesn't make it any less intense.

Izaya's trying to form words. It's a strangled sound.

"What's that, speak up."

 _Do it_.

Isn't that what Shizuo wants? To humiliate him first, then to kill him.

There's even a tightness at his heart as if that's being squeezed too. It's too much to think right now. His blinking is slowing down. He's never imagined this possibility. Caught like this. Facing a monster that really could consume all of him.

"Running out of time. Why don't you pick?"

The hold is too tight. He wants Shizuo to choose for him, but he's hovering over him, waiting patiently. The harsh strokes are slowing down. Or is it his awareness that is?

He's holding out for what?

He could save his pride, and allow himself to close his eyes and end this. Be the one to turn Shizuo into a killer. But as humiliating as it is, he wants Shizuo to finish him with the hand wrapped around him in painful pleasure. He bucks up and Shizuo grins, seeming to understand.

There's a slight difference in the hold. It's all of Shizuo. Passion, strength, muted peace and violence. Emotions that cannot be contained, building up so much that the very earth breaks up from the force. It's just as well that Izaya breaks too.

He's coming and the release is even stronger since the grip on his neck loosens. There's a surge inside and out. The first breath is a gasp, struggling to fill in all of him. The second breath is met with lips. Izaya at first fights it, still trying to breathe, but the motions are soothing. It's not a clash. His relief is tinged with the taste of cigarettes.

"Izaya?" The voice is further off than it should be.

He doesn't want Shizuo to talk, but the warmth leaves his mouth.

Izaya opened his eyes, and Shizuo's face was looking at him with concern. Shizuo should just finish what he started. He was too far away and Izaya propped himself up, ready to pull Shizuo back atop of him so that he could continue to taste and feel that relief.

"Oh, sorry." Shizuo leaned back and it accented the strong flat planes of his torso. He was still straddling him, but putting more distance between them.

Izaya looked up at him in confusion. It took him a full second to comprehend simultaneously that he had been dreaming and now no longer was. He quickly looked down to see if his pants were undone. But it became obvious that he had another problem. There was a stickiness in his boxer briefs, and with absolute horror, he realized that he had a wet dream about Shizuo.

While the man had been on him.

"Ah!" Izaya fell back down to the ground. "God!"

No! No, no, no, no! Shit!

Did Shizuo know? He struggled to slide away, but his head hit the branches of the low-hanging bush. Of all the fucked up things to imagine!? Just..."What the fuck was  _that_!?"

Shizuo was giving him a funny look, and Izaya felt his mortification grow. He had to have known...right? Had he been feeling him up? Izaya felt sick as he struggled to put as much distance away from Shizuo. His limbs were still unresponsive but he needed to turn away and cover the spot that disgusted him.

"Why?" His legs gave out and his injured hand flared anew with pain. "That..." Why had he dreamed that? 

There was a terrible thing wrong with him. With Shizuo, too.

"Ahh...my bad? Are you okay?"

Of course, he wasn't!

Izaya took in a deep breath in order to try to collect himself, but it was anything but calming. He rested his head against the crook of his elbow. If Shizuo had known, then surely he would have had a stronger reaction, right? Maybe even choke him for real. He felt along his neck, against the warm metal collar.

"What were you doing?" Izaya asked with his head still down. He was sure that whatever it was had to be something ridiculous and irrational. It would undoubtedly piss him off.

"Jakow came by. He was singing and I wanted to hide. I saw his naked feet."

He was right. Izaya was tempted to laugh at the sheer absurdity of what Shizuo said, even at the fact that it was he who had first implanted those ideas in him.

The ground was cool against his forehead. It helped him think. There had been singing in his dream. So that part was probably true and Shizuo would be dumb enough to get them in that position without realizing the implications. Then the proximity and the effects of the double coconut would explain his body's reaction.

He had known as he ate it that it could be an aphrodisiac, but honestly, he didn't think he would be susceptible to it. Not like this. It's not as if other aphrodisiac foods hyped about ever got him particularly in the mood. But this...this was something else completely.

He could still feel a lingering sated warmth from his release.

He was dirty. There was no way that he was going to walk around the island with any kind of incriminating stain on him. Even though it had only been in his mind, the after-effects of that appalling act were fresh and had felt too real. "Ugh. Disgusting. I feel disgusting." Izaya muttered.

In the distance was the sound of waves.

"What was that?" Shizuo asked gruffly.

Covering up his front with his coat as discreetly as he could, Izaya forced himself up. His shin dragged in the loose dirt and sand before he stood. It wasn't a heaviness that he felt in his legs, but a numb absence. It was just his determination that allowed him to take a few shaky steps.

"Hey, where are you going?" Shizuo said, way too close for Izaya's liking. He had to stop himself from reacting or else he really would fall forward.

"I'm going to wash off. I feel disgusting and it's too hot." Izaya said as he leaned against a palm tree. The bark was coarse against his hand. He made it past the clearing of trees to see the white strip of beach ahead of him. He took one step in the sand, but the uneven distribution of his weight made him stumble forward. He would have collapsed if not for the sudden hand supporting his entire weight under his arm.

"Don't touch me!" Izaya jerked away and dropped into the sand.

"The hell is wrong with you all of a sudden?" Shizuo said from somewhere over him. "Huh?"

Izaya was breathing hard. The sand was warm against his cheek. He wanted to just stay like this. Forget about Shizuo and forget about everything. The sun beat down on him now, heating up his dark coat and hair. He wished that the waves could reach him here, but it was still roughly nine meters away.

He angled his head so that he could actually see the waves lapping on the shore.

"Hey, flea. Answer me!" Izaya felt his body lift as Shizuo grabbed onto the back of his coat. Izaya had a knife in his hands in seconds. His movements were slow as he swung his arm and tried to cut anything inhumanly solid behind him. "What the fuck!?"

He fell back into the sand and groaned when his bad arm was jostled.

"I already told you. I feel disgusting and I want to wash up in the water!"

"Jeez, calm down," Shizuo said in a tone of growing annoyance. "Who'd ever guess that a poisoned flea would be even more annoying than a regular flea. Damn, I knew I should have thrown that coconut at him if I'd known how much of a pain this all would end up as."

Again he was lifted by his coat and shirt, but this time he didn't lash out because he was just too drained. Shizuo let him fall back onto the sand by the receding waves, before stepping away and kicking off his shoes. "Try not to drown. 'Cause if you start floating away, that's your problem."

Izaya sat up and kept his expression cool. He slipped off his own shoes and socks. Tailored pants fell, and it Izaya irked just how much he consciously had to tell himself how much he didn't want to assess that ass. It wasn't till Shizuo's back was to him that he took off his coat.

He slowly pulled off his shirt before staggering up and treading over wet sand. The waves rushed over his ankles gently, and he took careful steps into the water. When the waves brushed over his calves, Izaya sat down with his knees up. The ocean water was warm. He was careful about his left arm.

It wasn't so much that he didn't want to be caught spot cleaning his own pants in a completely obvious way or that he didn't want to go through the struggle of slipping out of his pants, he sat in the water with his pants still on because he was just too tired to do anything else.

He let the waves clean his pants for him.

But his mind could not so easily be wiped clean.

Closing his eyes and resting his head down on his arms, Izaya's thoughts refused to be settled down. When all he wanted was a blissful nothingness, different aspects of the dream would drift in and out of his mind. Little vignettes that had no business to keep plaguing him.

A particularly strong wave rushed around him, completely drenching the front of his pants and soaking through his boxer briefs.

There was no denying that he was on some level attracted to Shizuo, even sexually attracted. Yeah, he could deal with that. It didn't mean much after he accepted the idea that Shizuo was good looking. That wasn't worth getting agitated about when there were plenty of other humans out there that could satisfy him just fine.

What bothered him the most was the last final moments in the dream, how he had been making out with a monster.

That wasn't okay.

No amount of coconut or external stimuli could ever amend for whatever foul place that had crept up from his brain.

There was a splash ahead of him, and Izaya pretended not to care as Shizuo came near. Though he could just see his legs, Izaya could definitely get what Shizuo had meant when he said he saw Jakow's naked feet, because all he wanted to do was shrink and let the ocean swallow him up, and all of this just made him angrier. He never had the need to want to hide from someone like this, because he wasn't that kind of person.

But it was either that or having to see Shizuo's mostly naked and wet body.

Maybe going to the beach was a terrible idea.

"Feel better?" Shizuo asked.

He didn't want to look as pathetic as he felt, so he half-lifted his head so that his chin was resting in his hand and he stared out into the blue distance. "Give me a few more minutes."

"All right," Shizuo said and stalked away, thankfully giving him his space. Maybe he just didn't want to deal with a moody 'flea' but if Shizuo knew the real reason to Izaya's affliction, then he would be giving him more than just a little space. He'd probably throw him into the ocean...ah, if only his hate was enough to send him back to Tokyo, then that would be nice.

It was quiet again and Izaya nestled his head back in his arms. Even though he had napped for a bit, he still was exhausted. He rested with his eyes closed for some serene minutes as the water drifted around him, lulling him into a sense of calm unease.

"Hey!" Shizuo yelled, and Izaya sat upright with a start, seeing an enraged Shizuo make his way closer and emerging from the waves like a sea monster...except one that was well proportioned. "No! Don't you dare touch my pants!"

Izaya looked back, and to his horror, a tall man with many layers of clothes was caught in the act of attempting to steal his coat, one of his shoes, and their black bag while also reaching for Shizuo's pants. Izaya's eyes widened and so did the man's. "My coat!" he said in a choked off whisper. He didn't have his knives on him since they were in his coat!

His water soaked pants made it all the more difficult to attempt to even try to run forward as the man turned and fled, but that didn't matter when Shizuo passed him in a rage of dripping wet fury. "You're so dead, you pants thief!"

It really looked like the man would get away, as he disappeared into the forest. Oh, God! His phone was also in his coat, as well as his wallet, and the information he had collected.

Shizuo disappeared into the trees, and Izaya was left in the wet sand. He looked at their scattered items: of one of his shoes, his socks, Shizuo's pants that the man hadn't managed to snatch, and the rest of Shizuo's things.

In the distance, further off than it should have been was the sound of a tree snapping from considerable force. He wondered how far Shizuo would go. The sounds of their chase were getting further and Izaya frowned. He double checked their surroundings quickly, and though he was alone, he really didn't want to be out in the open if anyone happened to come by. Not when he was without his knives. He waited a few more minutes increasingly getting annoyed.

Izaya got up from his sitting position and slowly staggered over to his remaining things. He gathered it all up, including Shizuo's pants which were of better quality than he would have expected, but then again they had been a gift from Kasuka. He dragged his way to the edge of a tree trunk that had spidery like roots. He went to another tree and rested against the trunk. It had waxy fanning leaves that he could cover himself with, so he sat down and waited.

His back was sore as he leaned into the tree. Listening intently, there was only the sound of the waves hitting the shore, the wind rustling the leaves, and of the birds and insects buzzing and chirping around him.

"What a complete idiot," Izaya grumbled as he brushed off wet sand from his pants. "Just like a dog, chasing someone without a second thought."

He didn't have anything to check the time. He looked down at his black bandaged palm. The pain was only a dull throb.

His collar beeped. " _You now have twelve hours remaining. Good luck."_

This was a little over one hour more than Shizuo had. That was plenty of time to figure out how the keys worked.

Izaya smirked. Eleven more hours to put up with Shizuo would undoubtedly be worth it once he witnessed just how deplorable Shizuo would become. Watch that face contort into unbridled anger one final time because Izaya would never let him go peacefully.

Then he would be done with him for good.

He wouldn't have to think about any unnecessary feelings for a monster.

"I love to hate you, Shizuo," Izaya muttered.

He bit his bottom lip as he recalled a suffocating brush of lips and tongue, softer than a beast was capable of.

_But I hate that I might..._

He felt a deep twist of indignation in him. He kicked the sand by his bare feet.

A gust of cool wind blew through the trees, and his soaked pants made him feel the temperature difference even more. Waiting really was boring.

It really did take longer than it should for Shizuo to come back.

Izaya would never forgive him if he just left him there. His frustration grew.

A rustling of branches being pushed aside alerted Izaya of Shizuo's return. The steps were closer, and Izaya lazily lifted his head. Expensive leather shoes and gray pants that were dirtied with brown and red stains appeared.

So it wasn't Shizuo.

Izaya kept still. He was mostly concealed by the greenery, but a trained eye would be able to spot him.

The man passed him, and through the gaps of the leaves, Izaya saw a broad frame in a nicely cut suit and light brown hair. He was holding a black long object, what looked like a crowbar. As he examined it closer, he realized it was a broken piece of an iron window bar.

Izaya didn't even have his knives. He edged closer to the trunk of the tree. His legs weren't ready to support his full weight for longer than a few short seconds.

Another gust of wind picked the leaves and bushes around him. The man was looking in the sand and at the obvious trail that led right back to him.

It was no surprise that the man turned around and a few tense seconds later their eyes met.

Izaya could easily tell how he would have looked on a normal day in the city, blending in with his expensive suit and clean-shaven face, but now as he stood, grisly and speckled with mud and muck, his weathered look had a rawness to it. This was no longer a city man.

" _I thought I heard someone around here._ " The man said in English, and he pushed the leaves away with his metal bar.

" _Oh that wasn't me. What you heard was probably Shizu-chan pissed off that someone tried touching his pants. He's most likely done ripping the unlucky man apart._ " Izaya said pleasantly. " _Scary, right_."

The man's metal collar gleamed in the light, and Izaya focused on dark grey eyes.

" _And now you caught me at a bad time. I'm actually in a really bad mood._ " Izaya was reaching in his back pocket. " _I don't really feel like playing around_."

" _Oh, don't worry. I wasn't thinking about playing around. I was thinking about murdering you, rice cake."_

Izaya smirked. " _Rice cake? Really? That's almost cute."_

" _Too bad you won't be cute anymore when I'm done with you."_ He pulled back his bar with a wicked grin.

Izaya easily lifted the tube from his back pocket and he felt a great sense of satisfaction as he pushed down on it. The spray went right in the man's face.

" _It burns!"_ The man screamed while covering his face. " _Fuck, It burns!"_

" _Funny you're saying that."_ Izaya laughed, as he went through Shizuo's pants and took out the lighter. With deft fingers, he was able to flick the zippo lighter on, while also maneuvering the small spray bottle.

The man had the bar in his arms once more and he uncovered his now blotchy red face. Tears were streaming down from his bloodshot squinting eyes. The man was taking quick steps forward and was almost on top of him. That was when Izaya sprayed him once more, and this time a small line of flames shot out and caught on the man's business suit.

Izaya was really lucky that he never gave back Mura's homemade spray. He was also very glad that it was flammable as he watched the man jump back in a blind panic. Unable to see the flames or where he was going, he tripped over some roots and fell into the sand. Now he was desperately rolling around, kicking up sand. The fire was mostly out, but the man didn't seem able to realize this as he was still tripping around.

There was a new sound of footsteps and Izaya turned as Shizuo broke out of the line of trees and was looking out at the beach. He gave the burning man a glance before turning in a quick circle and spotting Izaya who was waving at him from where he was sitting.

"Um, why is there a man on fire?" Shizuo asked as he stepped over, breathing hard and still rather wet looking from sweat and salt water. Izaya saw his coat in Shizuo's arms, all in one single piece.

The man finally had enough sense to run into the ocean. Izaya could hear his shrieks when he went up for air. Apparently, it burned like a 'motherfucker'.

He felt a cool sense of calmness as he looked back at Shizuo, and he smirked.

Like a breath of fresh air, he knew very clearly it wouldn't be that bad. He'd rather have Shizuo killed than deal with any complicated feelings he may or may not have for him. And what better way to terminate these irritating thoughts than for them to burn into dust and smoke.

Just like how the cremated remains of his humans he could no longer love, the same would be true for this monster.

Ah, then he really would be disgusting.


	20. Slippery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You'd rather carry me mostly naked than wet?"

Bare feet against dirt, granite, roots, and leaves, but Shizuo didn't even feel it. He was knocking aside trees and ferns as he ran. His gaze was focused on the man running ahead of him. The man who had tried to steal his pants.

Breathing hard, chasing as if he would the flea, Shizuo tore the land around him. The pants thief was quick as if he had been conditioned to run from dogs. What got Shizuo even more pissed was that every tree he threw got in the path of other trees and ended up just blocking his way. He had to jump and run across fallen trees. One tree almost hit the man. It caught onto one of his many layers and tore a hole in stained white cotton.

But Shizuo wasn't getting any closer so he stopped throwing things. The pants thief was also babbling in a language Shizuo couldn't even identify. It was all gibberish to him, nonsense that might as well be infant talk.

And how the hell was this guy even able to run with so many layers? He was puffed up like a bumble bee. His head was a wild brown mess sticking up in all directions and his clothes flapped around him like an ungraceful bird, and yet he was running like a pro.

Unbelievable, just fucking great that he would meet another prick who was too fast to run down.

"Stay the fuck still!" Shizuo yelled.

"Abbruudadad!" Was what Shizuo heard. The pants thief threw something back towards Shizuo. "Bugatti!"

This just pissed off Shizuo even more as he caught the shoe and chucked it back at the man. Shizuo just missed his head. Shit, now he would have to look for that shoe later because he was sure that was Izaya's. And if he didn't, then he was sure that Izaya would throw a hissy fit.

The man dropped the black bag as well, and Shizuo picked it up as he ran.

Five more minutes of running furiously and finally the pants thief stopped suddenly against a tree. Shizuo was ready to grab the back of this man's many shirts and throw him into the ocean. Make him pay for even looking at his pants funny. But before he could the man started heaving loudly.

It was a disgusting noise, worse than a cat heaving up a fur ball.

What came out of the man's mouth disgusted Shizuo even more. It could only be described as muck: a swampy mess of what looked like partially ingested rotting leaves and white sludge. The man collapsed and didn't get back up.

"Really?" Shizuo muttered as he covered his nose. "I chased you all this way just for you to pass out in your own vomit? You just couldn't hold it in long enough for me to beat it out of you? What a waste."

Izaya's jacket still in the man's grasp, and the vomit coming really close to it. He debated just leaving it there. Let it get soaked in vomit so that the flea would have to throw it away...But what if he still wanted to wear it?

Shizuo shuddered as he picked it up before the green and white muck could reach it. "Why do you even have all this shit, huh?"

Leaving was probably the smarter thing to do, but he was still too pissed just to leave after running all this way. He scrutinized the man further with his nose covered from the smell. But breathing through his mouth wasn't much better.

But fuck did that man's vomit smell like actual rotting things and stomach acid. Gross as it was, he covered the bottom of his face with Izaya's coat to mask the smell.

Shizuo eyed the padded clothes the man was wearing. He was careful where he stepped as he got closer and lifted the man's many layers.

He frowned as he thought about his missing shirt and vest. "It couldn't be..."

But there it was, his white collared shirt and his vest, even his undershirt. He would have taken his uniform top, but vomit and sweat had seeped into it at the front. The man also had Jakow's clothes, he had jackets, sweaters, and a whole spectrum of shirt colors. It was a miracle he hadn't passed out earlier from running in this humidity.

It was obvious that he had a few too many pants as well, though not as many. The pockets were bulging with items.

He normally wouldn't have cared to look through another man's stuff, but considering this guy had probably stolen all these things, Shizuo figured that maybe he had picked up some clues about the antidote.

The outermost layer of pants seemed to have the most stuff crammed inside. He ripped open one of the side pockets by the seams. Inside was an assortment of keys. Car keys, house keys, and random looking keys with key chains still attached to them.

Another pocket had different cellphones, including a few of those expensive looking ones that Shizuo couldn't afford and didn't want because the screens broke way too easily. The back pockets had a few leather wallets stuffed with money of all colors, credit cards in different languages, and multiple IDs.

By the time Shizuo just about had enough of this and the smell, he already had a sizable pile that he, as best as he could, scooped up into the black bag. On a parting whim, he also found a somewhat thin tree and none too gently dropped it on the man. It wouldn't kill him, but it would take some time for the guy to get out.

Shizuo began to walk back the way he had come. It took him a few minutes longer to find the missing shoe as well, but he found it partially embedded in a tree.

It was as he was walking back and still annoyed about what had happened that he heard a distant scream in the direction that he was heading. A second later he realized that he had left Izaya alone there on the beach.

"Ah, shit," Shizuo grumbled. He would feel like a complete dumbass if he went all that way to beat the shit out the pants thief and to get Izaya's shit, only for the flea to be dead. It didn't exactly sound like the flea, but then again, he never heard him scream before. Oh...fuck...what if he really was dying?

Shizuo began to run, and the closer he got the worse the yelling became. He saw the waves in the distance in between the trees. He moved faster. Making it onto the sandy shore, Shizuo immediately saw someone in the sand with flames coming from his front. It wasn't Izaya and he couldn't see him in the water either.

What if the flea really had drowned?

He checked behind him just in case. Izaya was waving at him from under a tree. There wasn't any new blood or bruises that he recalled were any different. Not that he was paying all that much attention. 

Shizuo straightened up and wiped his damp bangs from his forehead. "Um, why is there a man on fire?" He asked as he stepped forward.

Maybe it was a stupid thing to ask because it was obvious by the way Izaya had that creepy smirk on his face that he had done it.

It was the usually shitty flea that Shizuo hated. The one that got him the urge to fling into the stratosphere.

"He called me rice cake," Izaya said with that self-satisfied grin.

"Hah?" Shizuo frowned. "What a complete dumbass."

"Exactly what I thought."

"You're way too bitter to be a mochi," Shizuo said as he turned to look at the man who was now in the waves, still screaming his head off.

Izaya laughed and Shizuo passed him his coat and shoe. "Here's your shit."

"Hmm? Running all that way for my coat, heh, so you are good for something." Izaya said as he reached up and grabbed the bundle in one arm.

Dammit, he should have left it in the vomit. Shizuo tsked as he emptied the bag of all of its contents and said, "a thank wouldn't kill you, right?" Keys and other things clinked as they fell to the ground.

Izaya picked up a set of keys that had a lucky charm. "Who knows. But I complimented you, Shizu-chan. I implied that you did a good job of playing fetch."

A vein began pounding along his temple and the flea smirked wider. His fingers itched to crunch something.

"But I guess since you made all that effort...thanks _so_ much, Shizu-chan. Oh wait, what's this? I- I think," he coughed and grabbed his chest, "I think I'm dying." He slumped to his side and made more dying noises. 

"Yeah, I wish." Fuck, killing Izaya so he would make those noises for real was starting to sound like a good idea. "Never thank me again, you ass. Would you quit that, you sound obnoxious."

Izaya cracked open his eyes and grinned.

Was he in a good mood for setting that guy on fire? Shizuo just about had it with his shit. "So I found all this on the shitty thief. The guy was a fucking nut case and only a little less obnoxious than you are. He had my shirt as well as Jakow's clothes."

"And did you kill him?" Izaya asked as he sat up and examined more of the items.

"Nah, the asshole passed out and threw up before I could beat the shit out of him. But I did leave a tree on him."

The man collapsed on the shore and finally quieted down.

"Where's my shirt?"

Shizuo looked back at Izaya. "Your shirt?"

"Yeah, you know...the one I've been wearing for the past day and a half. It's black. V-neck." Izaya narrowed his eyes.

"It's probably covered in swamp vomit. You wouldn't want it anyway."

Izaya huffed as he slipped on his coat. He put his hands in his pockets and took out his phone. There was a crack in the screen, but it turned on when he pushed the power button.

Shizuo sat down and picked up an old looking key. It was one that he'd imagine for a warehouse or a cellar. "So you think there could be a clue here for the antidote?"

"Don't get your hopes up," Izaya sighed as he riffled through the pile and flipped open wallets. "There's quite a collection here. Someone was certainly busy." He went through the plastic cards before putting them in neat rows. He took a few pictures of them on his phone."Ah, here's Jakow's." Which for some reason, that Shizuo didn't want to know, Izaya put in his own wallet. What remained unorganized on the ground were the keys and the cell phones.

"Nice. This is a key for a bugatti." Izaya held up what looked like a silver and white cylindrical metal cocoon with a stubby key blade. It had a squiggly indent on the inside.

"Hey, I think that guy might have said that. Does that mean anything?"

"Hmm? It could be that he stole someone's really expensive car and that's why he was sent here, or maybe another player here owned one, not that it really matters now." He put the key down before spotting a red Swiss Army Knife, testing it out, and then pocketing it.

Shizuo picked up one of the cell phones and after turning it over in his hands a couple times, he found the power button and pressed down on it. It was dead. He tried another one, and the same was true. The third one, a dark green smartphone, turned on.

"This one works." It had a finger passcode that had to be swiped, and after randomly trying to figure it out, he placed it down. There were two other phones that worked, but they also needed passwords. Izaya was taking out the SIM cards from the phones.

"The keys are pretty much useless, personal ones," Izaya said as he set aside the larger keys. "That guy must have been an extreme kleptomaniac, collecting all of this useless stuff. Interesting, right? He probably thought someone had the antidote and he had to steal it." He picked a metal skull keychain with little red crystals in the eye holes. Izaya twirled it in his fingers before putting it down.

"So it's all useless?" Shizuo asked.

"Pretty much. Unless we get off this island. There's about 200,000 worth of Yen here and that's not including the phones and whatever these keys...open."

Izaya's hand paused over a sliver of metal. It was about four centimeters long and one centimeter wide. It resembled the key end of the bugatti keys, with an intricate pattern on the inside. There was another one too, poking out from another key. Shizuo probably wouldn't have paid any attention to it, if Izaya hadn't lost his trail of thought.

"That's a weird key, right?" Shizuo said as he picked up the thin metal. He moved the keys once more and saw that there were three of them in total. "Wonder what it opens."

"It opens high-tech safes. I have one at home, too." Izaya looked at it in thought.

So it opened a safe? Well, that sounded ridiculous. Who the hell carries such important shit with them, hah? And it was so freaking small, it'd probably be lost instantly. This shit just kept on getting on his nerves.

"Well, the safe is home, but the key is with me now. See." He reached into the inside of his coat, and he did have the same kind of key, thin with a serpentine line in the center. "You wouldn't ever be able to guess what I'm hiding in there." Izaya grinned knowingly.

"Easy, it's some kind of devious scheme for Ikebukuro. It's not a bomb, right?"

"Shizu-chan, you do realize that I'm only an information broker. I actually help a lot of people too."

"Sure you do. After you ruin them." Shizuo scratched the side of his face. "Then if it's not a bomb, then it's probably dead kittens or mummified baby monkeys. Or better yet, it's those tiny decapitated heads that kind of look like mummified monkeys."

"Uh huh. You know, me saying that you wouldn't be able to guess wasn't actually an invitation for you to start guessing."

"Yeah, well it sounded like a challenge."

"It wasn't, Shizu-chan. Honestly, I would never even have guessed that you had any kind of imagination whatsoever. I would be worried, except that I know you don't have the mental capability to even figure your way out of a room that only has one door without breaking a wall."

The shitty flea glanced at him with a smirk, and Shizuo glared back. He would have argued back, except that he knew what Izaya was referring to: about what happened yesterday when he'd woken up and had broken the wall.

"But hey, that's why I'm here. So maybe there are some safes around here that these keys open and inside has the antidote. That's always possible. The key to the buried treasure! Like opening a real treasure chest. What a terrible yet great cliche idea! It's perfect."

"So annoying! This shit just gets more and more complicated. Damn, it would be so convenient if this just opened our collars!"

"Well, yeah, of course, it would." Izaya smiled and shook his head. "But we are looking for an antidote, remember?"

"Jeez, you think I'd forget? The thing is fucking impossible to find. Yeah, pisses me off."

"I'll hold onto these just in case," Izaya said as he put the thin keys in the inside of his coat.

"We haven't gotten any closer figuring this shit out and walking around looking at trees with dicks isn't helping! We'll try another building."

"That's fine," Izaya said and he passed over the pants next to him. "I was considering that as well."

Oh yeah, he was only in his boxers. He took them and began putting them on. He had just washed off and then he had to run off to chase some obnoxious pants thief only to sweat once more! Ah, how annoying. And the flea was still wet too.

"Why'd you have to keep your pants on when you went in the ocean, moron? You think I want to carry a wet flea?" He put his socks and shoes in the black bag.

"Well, we could always wait till my pants dry," Izaya said as he put a hand on his wet pants.

"Damn, that's gonna take freaking forever," Shizuo grumbled. "Don't you know that wearing wet clothes when you're sick is just going to make you worse?"

"I'll be fine." Izaya picked at his shoe that had a wooden splinter sticking from it. "Not like it matters after today."

"What are you talking about? If you get worse and pass out, you might never wake up again. Is that what you want?"

"So what? You want me to take off my pants or something?" Izaya laughed. "You'd rather carry me mostly naked than wet?"

Shizuo hadn't really considered that. This was not what he meant. "You know what, forget about it. If you die while I carry you, it's 'cause you're a moron." Shizuo reached over and grabbed Izaya's right wrist before hauling him up like he would a flea shaped backpack.

Izaya's pants were indeed wet against his skin, but he ignored the uncomfortable friction. They left the nonessential things, the keys, dead phones, and wallets.

"Just don't slip off my back," Shizuo said as he walked on the shore. The man who had been burned groaned in the sand and shrunk low as Shizuo passed him.

He looked in both directions, seeing if there was a building. Both ends were only a stretch of beach. "Yeah, which way should we go now?"

"This way is fine," Izaya said with a light sigh, his hand pointing to their left.

The warm fine sand was pleasant under his feet. The sound of the waves eased off the tension in his shoulders, even though he felt flea hands there. The sky was idyllic with white feather-like clouds, and the sun was far from setting.

Yesterday they had decided to call in a night at this time. This night they probably wouldn't sleep.

Shizuo's stomach constricted with hunger. All he wanted to do was lie on the beach and let the sun warm him up. Feel the soft breeze while imagining that time did not exist. It wouldn't even matter if Izaya was there or not as long as he kept quiet.

From the corner of his eye, imbued in the blue expanse of sea and sky, Shizuo noticed a glint of light, different than the sunlight scintillating off the surface. He turned his head. Far out in the ocean was a tiny hazy dark shape. It could have been a whale or a boat. It slipped away like a passing shadow.

"What are you looking at?" Izaya asked.

"Nothing."

He looked out ahead as they walked. Occasionally, the footsteps in the sand went off into the trees. Izaya shifted on his back and leaned further away. With his legs inching back a little, Shizuo wondered if he really did plan on falling back.

"Could you stop squirming?" Shizuo asked.

"It's uncomfortable. My right leg is asleep."

"Hmm, does that mean you can walk again?"

"No, it means that there is pressure in the nerve pathways, and the neurons can't send the proper electrochemical impulses." Izaya paused. "For your information, there is communication between the nerves and the brain, and the nerve endings send sensory information. Right now it feels like I'm both regaining feeling and losing it."

"Okay..." Shizuo said. He readjusted the flea slightly so that he was higher on his back. "Does that mean you want to stretch or something?"

"Or maybe it's because the mild paralyzing effects of the poison were interfering with the nerves transmitting throughout my body, and finally now I'm beginning to regain the feeling again. Or it's getting worse."

"So...?"

"Which is a rather very useful poison that Mura had. He did take some himself, didn't he? I wonder if he has something to counter it."

_Wow, is he ever going to shut up?_

"...which properties would surely interfere with the..."

 _Jeez. What can a man do to get some peace and quiet, huh? Maybe, if I shove one of those plant dicks in his mouth that would shut him up. Huh... that's a weird thought. Probably shouldn't have been looking at that tree over there. Is he still talking_?

"...did you also know that the nerves in your body are setup with long and separate nerve cells and depending on where and how much surrounding-"

"You can feel your legs again, great." Shizuo let go of his legs. Izaya scrambled his hold on Shizuo's neck but with only one hand he still fell to the sand below.

"Ow!" Izaya muttered. "What was that for?"

Shizuo stared down at him. "Your annoying voice was too close to my head. My nerve endings told me to let go."

"Ha-ha, did you actually learn something and then your brain malfunctioned?"

"No, I wasn't listening. So how about you use your own damn legs? I'm not your chauffeur."

Izaya stretched out his legs. He moved one of his ankles. "All right, let's see." He stood up shakily but he was standing on his own. He took a step forward and fell back into the sand.

Shizuo would have laughed except that meant that he still had to carry the flea. "Damn it. Can't you try harder or something?"

"You think I want to be carried around?" Izaya said in exasperation.

"How would I know, you're the flea!" He reached down and picked him up by his wrist, his hand touching fur lining as he did so. How Izaya could stand that crap was beyond him. With Izaya once more on his back, he resumed walking at a faster pace. Who knew how long it would take before they found another building.

Thankfully, Izaya didn't say much more.

By the time a little outline of a building could be seen, the sun had moved a noticeable distance, slipping into the sea. It must have been over an hour of walking. Shizuo moved faster and Izaya perked up seeing what was in the distance as well.

As the building became larger the closer they got, Shizuo couldn't help but remember what they had seen the last time they had been in one of those concrete structures. He really had wanted to avoid this, especially when the wind blew their way and with it was the smell of copper and burnt gasoline.

The building was smaller than the other, but it was longer with only one floor. The windows were also blocked off with metal bars and it was too dark to see through them.

"I'm going to circle around it."

"Go ahead."

It was oddly quiet. The sand had a few set of footsteps going around the building. There was only one door and they halted in front of it.

Along the metal door was dried blood in two distinct lines like slashes. It reminded Shizuo of really sloppy calligraphy, and written above that was a single word in English that even he could read: _Antidote_.

It could have even said 'trap', and they probably would have gone in all the same.

But Shizuo didn't think this was what Izaya meant when he said that a giant X would mark the way. "This is obviously a terrible idea," Shizuo said, but he went ahead and touched the handle.

"What, did the dried blood give that away?"

It creaked open stiffly without needing any force. "It's just a feeling."

He couldn't see much of anything in the dark, but the smell was heavier here. Seeing the blood on the cement floor reminded him that he better put on his shoes.


	21. When Wet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's not a metaphor!" Izaya snapped. Which wasn't all too convincing when his front was getting a little too personal with said ass.

Izaya was excited for whatever was inside the building. He was impatient, teetering forward slightly as Shizuo put on his shoes one after the other. His excitement was a large part in knowing that Shizuo would regret coming in here.

Seeing all that blood, Izaya could just imagine it like a disease clinging to a monster as it should. Shizuo looked the best when he was covered in blood. It didn't matter who's, just that it was there, seeping a deep ugliness in him.

Tainting him, tarnished beyond human recognition.

That would be spectacular.

Izaya went through their black bag and pulled out the lantern. The dim light didn't travel far.

With the first step into the doorway, Izaya bit his bottom lip in growing anticipation. The door closed with the unmistakable click of a lock. It darkened considerably and he couldn't see beyond the glow of the lantern.

"Oh, we're locked inside," Izaya mused with a hum, "maybe that's why it's so bloody when the people trapped right here couldn't open the door and something got to them."

He didn't have to lift his hand so high to see how much the walls were splattered with blood. Some of it was still shiny wet. "Look at that line there, that must have been from the carotid artery. Hey, it's even on the ceiling. But over here...it's just everywhere."

"Would you shut up?" Shizuo said with a low, throaty glower. "Point the light forward, can't see shit in here."

"Well, that might have something to do with the sunglasses you're still wearing."

"Guess so," Shizuo let go of his leg briefly and removed the sunglasses. He hooked it in one of his front belt buckles. "No, it's still dark."

Which was true. The light wasn't strong enough, it was just a dim dying haze—a ghostly shroud. "You could open a wall if you want to."

"Shhh, you're so freaking loud. And I told you to point the light forward."

Izaya delicately placed the lantern on Shizuo's head, but with a sudden halt, the lantern almost fell. Izaya caught it and instead rested his arm on a taut shoulder as he held out the flickering light.

Shizuo still didn't move. "This is stupid," he finally said. "The whole place smells like shit, and I hate it."

Izaya tipped his head forward as if in agreement. "Well, it happens sometimes when someone dies, depending on obvious factors and how the body is handled."

"Would you stop talking about dying people?"

All right. Izaya needed to be sure that Shizuo got the point.

"Okay, people shat themselves here. How does that make you feel?"

"...like I want to wipe the floor with your face. Ugh. Just because I say it smells like shit, doesn't mean that it actually smells like actual shit."

"So all those times you were saying that I reek, it's not actual," Izaya said as he peered over Shizuo's head into the darkness. He really couldn't make out anything. Were all of the windows covered up?

"You do. Just not, y'know, like shit shit. Just shit. Kind of like bullshit." Shizuo took a few more steps forward.

"Uh huh..." Izaya said with amusement. "So let me get this straight. Not human excrement, but bull excrement. Now that's insulting."

"No, I just told you not the literal kind, it's like...metaphorical shit."

Izaya smirked. "I should never ask you to articulate your thoughts. Ah, language is wasted on you."

"As if you have anything meaningful to say! Damn, what was I getting at before...oh that's right. This is a shitty idea." Shizuo stopped once again.

"Hmm? Well yeah, it was your idea. You scared or something?" Izaya looked back, and he could just barely make out the outline of the door. It was definitely the bloodiest there.

"Shut up," Shizuo hissed, "it's like you're trying to announce your pain in the ass presence. And I'm not scared, I'm pissed off for some reason."

Izaya's eyes were better adjusted in the dark. It looked like a long corridor ahead without any additional light source.

"We came all this way, and now you want to go back?" He leaned closer forward so that he could whisper half teasingly and half sardonically by his ear. "Yeah, and where else will we go? To another building? You have ten hours left, Shizu-chan, so choose what you want wisely. There could be a clue here, maybe a map."

Dead bodies too and hopefully something to bleed Shizuo crimson. Make him howl like a dumb animal.

Shizuo tsked. "Fine, we can look around, but for only five minutes. And give me some of that gum. Like hell, I'm breathing this in straight."

Maybe the gum would mask the smell, but then it just reminded him of the smell being ingested. Though as he took in another breath, the metallic tang was heavy in the air, and maybe the gum wasn't half bad of an idea.

"All right." Izaya pulled his good arm back. The black bag was secured between his front and Shizuo's back, creating a small buffer. He was able to squeeze his hand through the handle of the lantern as he then rummaged through the bag. Around them darkened for a moment before he found the container of gum. The little hard pieces shifted loudly in his hand as he popped the top open.

He paused his hand, thinking for a moment that he would have to hand feed this monster, put his fingers near a jaw that could crush metal. But it wasn't the thought of pain that halted him. It was something much softer with an edge that could cut him deeply. 

His thoughts really didn't need to go there.

With the container tight in his hold, Izaya none too gently aimed it where he thought was accurate enough, and he tilted the container so the gum pieces could slide out. Hard pieces clattered against the ground. He brought his hand back.

"What the fuck?" The growl was mitigated between chewing sounds.

"Trust me, you need it," Izaya said as he popped some gum in his own mouth with a grin, then put the container away.

"Maybe I should drag your sorry face against the ground, right? You need that." Shizuo said as he chewed.

Izaya's left leg was dropped. He quickly snaked his arm at Shizuo's neck, against the metal of the collar. At his wrist, the handle of the lantern dug into his skin, making it hard to get a good grip on Shizuo's shoulder.

The hand propping up the back of his right leg withdrew.

"Hey! Stop that!" Already, as he struggled just to hang on, he knew his legs wouldn't be steady enough to support his weight. He'd collapse- land right in still drying blood. "Is there an end to your stupidity?!" Izaya spat. "If I fall then I'm going to make sure to get blood all over your pants."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Then don't drop me, moron! Because I swear, I'll literally bloody your ass."

"...you'll what my ass?"

"Bloody it!" Izaya snapped. Which wasn't all too convincing when his front was getting a little too personal with said ass. "It isn't a metaphor!"

There were a few tense seconds where it seemed like Shizuo was considering his options. Seconds that made his still weakened arm throb in pain. He was beginning to slip. Breathing hard was making him lightheaded again. He even considered biting him, but that would only break his own teeth.

He was never more relieved to feel Shizuo's hands at the back of his thighs. That train of thought only made him annoyed.

_Stupid Shizu-chan._

"Hold the light steady," Shizuo said. Izaya lazily did so with an exaggerated sigh.

Finally, they began to walk forward. Shizuo's steps were an occasional wet squelch. There were obvious drag marks and the occasional footprint on the concrete floor.

It didn't matter how he angled the lantern, the light wouldn't stretch any further. Shizuo didn't slow his pace as they neared an entranceway missing a door. The sharp shadows cut diagonals as they walked closer, and Izaya half expected something or someone to be hiding in the darkest corners.

The room was bare. A sewage drain caught the light from the center of the tiled floor. Bolted to the wall was a blackboard with white lettering in many languages. From what he could translate in the languages that he knew, it all read the same.

"The toll to exit is a pound of flesh for a pound of flesh," Shizuo read aloud as he found the Japanese on the right-hand side. "Is that some kind of riddle?"

"I'm guessing that it's more literal. Kill someone to leave. Hey maybe there's a meat grinder somewhere and you gotta measure it out right."

"...gross...that's really gross," Shizuo muttered. He turned around and was ready to move on.

The darkened cracks in the floor were wet like veins. "I'm curious. If the antidote was hanging from a pit that had to be filled up with mashed up bodies in order to be reached, would you put anyone in a meat grinder in order to live?"

"No. That's disgusting." Shizuo hitched him up higher.

"Not even me?" Izaya asked with a sweet taunting lilt. The light dimmed even more, threatening to shut off completely.

"Don't ask me that kind of shit." He said in a low voice.

"Hmm."

Shouldn't he be overjoyed at the thought of really crushing him? Like he always shouted out in the streets of Ikebukuro.

Izaya was sure that Shizuo must have imagined a vending machine crushing him, but was his imagination vivid enough to envision the reality of that? A crushed body was never a pretty sight. Bones fractured, skin torn, body caved in and out, and the blood pooling around a contorted mess; no it wasn't pretty.

He blew a small bubble and let it pop.

The minty flavor did help mask the somewhat sour and heavy smelling air. He could hear the light chewing noises that Shizuo took.

They neared another doorless room. By now they were a good short sprint from the entrance way. He didn't even know if there were any windows. Maybe they were purposely covered in blood. Ah, fresh air would do him wonders. Maybe he could get Shizuo to really open a wall.

The light weakened even further.

"Doesn't that get any brighter?" Shizuo asked

"Nope."

"What about your phone?"

Izaya shook the lantern and the light flared briefly. "What about it?" Izaya said, being purposely obtuse.

"Doesn't that have a light or something?"

"Well, yeah, duh. But it's more exciting like this." Izaya peered down the remaining amount of corridor. There weren't that many rooms left.

"What!?" Shizuo said louder than he probably meant. It echoed in the narrow hall. "Shit."

"You know, to set the mood."

"Mood? You want a mood? That settles it," Shizuo growled. "You're going in the meat grinder."

"Aw!" Izaya chuckled. "All right, all right. Check the room first."

Shizuo did so, taking a few steps closer and standing in the doorway. It was the same as the other room with words on a blackboard. They had to get closer to read it. Izaya found it in English first:

What has six fingers, four faces, one voice, and two eyes to see? Answer this correctly and win your prize to be.

"This one is definitely a riddle. Riddles piss me off. Always misleading on purpose." Shizuo said. "What has four faces, one voice, and two eyes? It's gonna be them for pissing me off. Now get your cell out."

"That's a pretty good guess, Shizu-chan," Izaya said, "but not quite." He slid his hand from the handle of the lantern. The light was only a small glow the span of a lit birthday candle. He laid it down on the black bag.

It was while he was reaching for his phone that he heard the barely there whisper of an echo.

" _You now have 34 days remaining. Good luck."_

Izaya paused and he looked back towards the empty doorway. "Oh! Did you...hear that?"

"Shh," Shizuo hissed as he also turned around.

The hold on his legs tightened. Izaya pressed the power button of his phone without needing to look down. He swiped the screen left first then up.

Under his forearm, resting on Shizuo's shoulder, the muscles there tensed like steel cables going taut. The light brightened and he brought up his cell forward. It wasn't much better.

"I'm gonna put you down. I might need my arms for this." Shizuo was already lowering him to the floor.

Izaya wasn't all too sure if he liked that. Then he wouldn't be able to enjoy whatever was out there. "What, and miss the perfect opportunity to use me as a human shield? But I have your back, Shizu-chan."

"As if you do."

"Then how about making a convenient hole in the wall for me? You know, just in case."

"Too loud. Just shut up. We agreed on five minutes, right."

"Four now." His heels touched the ground. He had to lean against the wall to stay upright. The same painful tingling traveled throughout his legs and he gritted his teeth from the pain. "And I kind of want to live longer than the next four minutes."

Shizuo looked at him and grinned. "Relax, this will only take a sec."

Izaya narrowed his eyes. The concrete was rough through his thin jacket. He wasn't able to say anything that would change either of their minds to not do this because he knew this was the best thing. It was necessary to dirty this monster. This was what he wanted.

"Give me the light," Shizuo said while looking down at him.

Izaya hesitated for only a second. Nothing could be heard beyond the room they were in. "It's in the black bag."

Shizuo took a step closer and reached over. His skin was pale in the faint, almost blue light.

Izaya looked up towards the doorway, half expecting something to be standing there. Still, nothing was. His back was firm against the wall, and the bruises at his shoulder blades stung.

In Shizuo's hand, the lantern had a dark yellow glow that barely reached an arms width away. "My lighter is brighter than this. Just hand over your phone."

"Are you kidding me? You're going to break it." Izaya whispered harshly.

"I won't."

"You can smell your way in the dark, right?"

"Just give it to me." He grabbed the corner of the phone and Izaya reluctantly let go. "Here," Shizuo passed over the dying lantern. "I'll be back soon." He barely gave him a second glance before turning and walking out the doorway.

"Great," Izaya muttered. "You better come back a mess."

He was growing impatient once more as the seconds passed.

As gently as he could, he passed the handle of the lantern over his left hand. The lightest touch anywhere above his wrist aggravated his wound. It wasn't burning anymore though, but that could just be the paralyzing agents from the poison. The weight of the lantern was an effort to hold up so he set it on the floor.

From his coat pocket, he pulled out one of his knives and flicked it open. The doorway was a block of darkness that he warily stared at.

He could only just sometimes hear Shizuo's steps getting fainter.

It wasn't likely that anything could actually take down Shizuo. Nothing had so far, not even Shizuo's own stupidity had killed him yet. 

He chewed quietly. The weight in his hand was comforting.

"Ah, fuck." Izaya heard Shizuo curse. A moment later came a sharp tug of an engine, a quick wind-up bursting in the silence. It was a deafening buzz equipped with a spinning chain, charging the air with a different kind of paralyzing effect: cutting deep as he took a sharp breath of stale air.

Perhaps people really did shit themselves in fear. Izaya smirked and let all of the air from his lungs out in a fit of laughter.

Ah, this was perfect! Better than he could ever have hoped. He could picture the annoyance on Shizuo's face clearly. The unknown man rushing forward with a chainsaw high in his hands. Would Shizuo jump back, or would he rush forward as well?

The light faltered. If anything it wasn't so much a light source as it was an obvious marker of his whereabouts. He clicked the light off with his foot and he was smothered in pitch black.

Would a chainsaw be tough enough to cut through Shizuo's bones? Nah, definitely not! Would Shizuo catch it in his hands and then break it in half? Or would he somehow use it to cut off this poor man's limbs?

He wished that he was witness to what was going on.

Izaya's mouth felt dry, even with the gum. He swallowed some mint flavored saliva painfully.

There came an even greater rumble and the concrete building shook. So Shizuo broke down a wall? Did he then fling a piece of concrete at the man? He did, didn't he?

When the hum of the engine wasn't crushed in a heap of useless metal, Izaya felt his stomach clench. The rumble was only getting louder as it ricocheted off the walls. Louder and louder.

Izaya frowned. Had Shizuo left him here? Made his own escape route?

Maybe he did have half a brain after all, and had decided that it wasn't worth coming back for him. Because that would be what Izaya would do.

His body felt heavy. It was as if there was something not right with his blood flow. It was loud in his ears.

The chainsaw continued its growling purr.

Being in the vicinity of a chainsaw-wielding maniac wasn't exactly part of his calculations. Not if Shizuo wasn't in the direct path of a spinning blade.

Izaya's irritation grew, settling deep in him.

The angry buzzing grew louder, and Izaya could only struggle to keep standing as gravity made him sink closer to the rust-colored floor.

It reminded him of a forum in a chat room he once visited, where a man had these continuous vivid nightmares of being chased by a shadowy creature while his legs were turning to stone. He'd wake up exactly at three each night. Sometimes the creature would look like a man, but other times he'd get on all fours like an animal. Izaya had followed his posts for two weeks, until they ended suddenly without warning. Izaya liked to think that the creature had finally caught up to the man.

Now he could kind of understand what it felt like.

Except he couldn't just wake up.

"You should have broken the wall first, stupid Shizu-chan."

There was a noise ahead, and Izaya looked unseeingly towards the entrance. Someone had entered the room. The vibrations of the chainsaw shivered up and down his skin. He didn't dare say anything. It was so incredibly loud. Then the chainsaw stopped abruptly and all he could hear was thick breathing.

He couldn't see anything infront of him, but he could hear as someone approached. Scuffling, sniffing, with breaths drawing in heavy with each exhale, the man entered the room and Izaya's legs tremble from the effort of holding himself up. The knife in his grasp was sweaty. Izaya closed his eyes tightly as his vision swayed with his body.

"Hey! You freak!" The chainsaw came to life as if tore the air around the man. It took long seconds later to realize that the sound was fading as the man had already left the room. Pins and needles were making his legs feel useless, and Izaya slid to the floor. Less than a minute later, after more shouts and the walls rumbling around him, he was approached again. A brighter light was pointed downcast before lifting and hurting Izaya's eyes.

"Hey! Izaya!" Shizuo came closer. "There's an asshole with a chainsaw!"

Izaya laughed through his unease. "Oh, so those chainsaw noises were from a chainsaw! I would have never guessed."

Shizuo rushed over and lifted him in one quick movement that Izaya had no way to prepare himself for. He was pulled right over Shizuo's shoulder as if he were only a jacket. He almost dropped their bag and lantern. Shizuo only had one arm holding him precariously in place. His stomach felt like it had flipped flopped and had gotten sucker punched.

"Ow..." The blood was rushing to his head now. He wasn't sure his vision was going dark because of the lack of light or from the feeling like he was going to pass out.

He lifted his head. Now he could dizzily make out what was chasing him. The sound of the chainsaw this close was disorientating.

The man, who was more horrifying than the object in his hand, lifted his arms high. He was a few centimeters taller than Shizuo, bulkier too. There was something odd about his face. Like it was askew and the mouth was stretched open too far.

Maybe this was a nightmare like the man's in the forum. Because why else would someone look so disfigured, ugly, and drenched in blood so black it looked like tar.

His eyes were as hollow and gaping as his mouth.

Then Izaya figured out why.

He wore a mask with cut out eyes.

Once he understood that, it took him no time at all to realize the mask was a human face. There were more of them too, crudely sewn around his head like a distorted ski mask.

"Ah!" Izaya yelled. "The riddle! He did it!" This man figured out the riddle, and his prize was a chainsaw. What an interesting man, to be wearing the faces of the people he killed. He lifted up the chainsaw higher, showing the sweat stains under his armpits. This was obviously way too close to his liking.

Then he remembered something important. "Why didn't you kill him yet! Why are you running away?"

"You think I'm dumb enough to run towards a chainsaw?"

"Yes, now turn around. You think I want to be between you and him?"

"Shut up! That's just too bad for you. Didn't I say that I'd throw you in the meat grinder. Well this is pretty close, huh!"

Izaya felt his body lift up, and he thought that he'd really be thrown, but he was settled roughly back on a hard shoulder. Shizuo had only slipped for a moment on a pool of blood.

Maybe this was Shizuo's plan all along. Make it into an accident. Make it so that Izaya would finally become useful, by giving Shizuo some time to escape as he was being butchered up. That way Shizuo could keep his hands clean.

Or maybe he was slowing down on purpose so that when the chainsaw cut into them, it wouldn't be enough to cut into hard muscles and bones. Just Izaya.

The way the chainsaw wielding man was slanting in the air, it was as if Izaya was falling and he just didn't know it, like he really had been thrown.

When the chainsaw hit the wall and kicked back, the harsh rumble finally snapped as the chain whipped off and cut into three of the man's faces; across a flat nose and an eye socket, as if these cutout faces were crying with their own blood and not from the blood of their murderer. For a moment they were all as one.

But there was only one voice that could cry out, and from two mouths came a long moan of pain.

"Oh..." Shizuo was beginning to slow down as he looked back over the shoulder Izaya wasn't occupying. "Well shit." He stopped and turned around.

Izaya couldn't see anymore. He took some settling breaths. The fallen man had quieted down.

"Hey," Shizuo took a few steps closer, "so where's the antidote, huh?"

The man was still quiet. "Maybe he doesn't speak Japanese." Izaya said.

"Ah, gross. He's wearing an actual face as a mask. Nasty. Ugh. That's so disgusting."

"Yeah, well if he knew where the antidote was, then obviously he wouldn't still be here. Unless of course he's enjoying this."

"Hey!" Shizuo said louder. "The antidote. _Antidote_!" He finished in English. Still nothing. "Come on! This is so damn annoying." He passed the man, going further into the building. "Everything is so fucking annoying."

Izaya watched the man on the ground. He had probably fallen unconscious from the force of the trauma. It was hardly the end that he had hoped for, but then again, it could have been much worse.

Shizuo continued to walk. "This is really uncomfortable." Izaya was still over Shizuo's shoulder. "Oi, Neanderthal, do you hear me?"

"Annoying," Shizuo grumbled "can't you walk yet? I bet you can walk, but you're being a lazy pain in the ass."

He hoisted him down to his feet, but the moment the hand supporting most of Izaya's weight left was when uncooperating muscles gave out.

Izaya toppled down. He couldn't land gracefully. He fell so fast he couldn't tell what hit the ground first, but it all hurt on his right side. A wetness soaked into his clothes.

"Sorry, my bad."

He was lifted from the ground by the front of his jacket and he glared up at Shizuo. Definitely part of his hair was sticky wet too.

"You idiot." Izaya clenched his teeth to stop a groan of pain. "Seriously! Do you even think? When you wanted to escape, why didn't you go through the wall? Why were you running towards the locked metal door?"

His cellphone light was mostly downcast, but he could still make out the somewhat annoyed and baffled expression Shizuo was making.

"What are you on about, now? I have one more room to check out, so how about you shut up, all right."

Shizuo swung him onto his back, and he grumbled when he felt the blood on his own skin.

"Told you so," Izaya muttered.

"Yeah, well, it's not like I'm not used to it."

Izaya checked behind him just in case the guy was up, but he had kept to the floor. Shizuo walked ahead. They passed a few more rooms, one which he had been left in. The last one, all the way in the back was the one that Shizuo stepped through.

Immediately Izaya eyed the sign with a red glow that said exit. Under it wasn't a door, but the same oven like door that had been in the last building they had visited. Which meant it probably led to another crematorium.

"So are you going to look inside?" Izaya said, snidely. "The antidote might be there."

Shizuo didn't say anything as he stepped over to the glowing letters and grabbed the bottom of the latch. He took a deep breath before twisting and lifting the handle. It easily opened with a clatter.

Izaya liked being right, but he didn't feel any satisfaction for just how close he had been to the truth. It took some time to actually make out the shapes below them.

With the cellphone light shining tentatively through, as if they had a stream of moonlight in their hands, the mangled and butchered mess appeared as a great mound. All that was missing was the antidote hanging from the ceiling. A cranking noise came above them.

"Point the light up," Izaya said while covering his mouth and nose from the overbearing smell.

He didn't like this at all.

Caught in a twinkle of light above their heads, was a little hanging vial. It was way beyond their reach. It would take a hundred more bodies to touch the level that they stood.

"You've gotta be shitting me," Shizuo cursed.

It was almost as if he was being mocked by someone.

But then again, as he looked at Shizuo and imagined what he could make him do right now, Izaya smirked. It didn't matter if someone was messing with him because he could use this to his advantage.

He opened one of his flick blades and with ease he threw it and the knife cut the chain. The vial fell among the bodies. It stopped against a protruding shoulder.

Even if the smell made his insides want to heave and his eyes water, Izaya grinned from behind his mouth.

"Well," Izaya motioned with his injured hand. "It's not going to retrieve itself, now is it?"


	22. The Face Ripper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Starting from the neck, the blood flows there the prettiest."

The gum was nowhere near enough to cover the stench.

It was borderline unbearable, emitting the fetid scent of death and decay that was heavy, rancid, sweet and nauseating all at once. A bitter taste rose in his mouth.

Izaya was still pointing at the vial and Shizuo could only incredulously stare at the flea's hand, before the smell became too much and he pushed the hatch back into place.

He gulped in a few deep breaths while looking away. There was a lingering taste in his dry throat.

"There's the antidote, Shizu-chan. Just a jump away. A quick three-second fall."

The flea had been unnervingly too right. The man with the chainsaw had been cutting up people and creating a mountain in order to reach the top. Something like this would have been unfathomable for Shizuo, but now he could definitely believe that this was possible. But that didn't make it any less bearable.

This wasn't right.

"It's not supposed to be easy, now is it?" Izaya continued. "But you want to go home, right?"

Of course, he did. Shizuo glared at the red exit sign looming above their heads. It was so close. So fucking close. "Yeah, that's what I've been putting up with you for," Shizuo said bitterly. "But there's only one antidote here."

Izaya chuckled by his ear. "Ah, how observant of you. Imagine if you were right, and here it is. Who knows if there is another, right? Another chance as this."

Shizuo was pissed too that Izaya had already cut down the antidote. He would have broken a piece of the wall and used it as a stepping stone, or he could have probably scaled up the wall by making holes. But now he really didn't have any choice but to jump in there.

Which meant that Izaya had probably done that on purpose too, huh?

It would be better to just jump in there now with the flea on his back. Shizuo had a tight hold of him right now, and it wasn't like Izaya could run away either. But then again...he could probably have some fun with this too.

"Can you lean against a wall or something?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah."

Shizuo made sure that Izaya could reach the floor before he dropped the back of the flea's legs and Izaya lightly stepped down. He didn't make it to a wall though.

"Hey, you remember what else I said?" 

Izaya's expression had a subtle smile that Shizuo hated, tinged slightly red from the sign above them. "Hmm?" Izaya said easily. "You say a lot of idiotic things."

"Well then, maybe this will help you remember." Shizuo opened the hatch once more and pushed Izaya forward so that he was partway in the opening. "Didn't I say I'd throw you into the meat grinder?"

Izaya gagged from the smell and covered his face at the crook of his elbow.

Shizuo pushed him further in, and the arm that he was holding grasped at his own wrist. "Look, you can be with your beloved humans. You love them so much, right?"

Izaya was strangely compliant, but that might have something to do with being partially immobile. If he let go, then Izaya would fall.

"There's a high risk that if you throw me in there, I'll get blood poisoning. The wound in my arm will get worse." He coughed a few times.

"Yeah, so? It won't kill you."

Izaya shifted so that he could look back at him. He was definitely pissed, but so was Shizuo.

Blunt nails were digging into his wrist, but it didn't hurt. "I probably already have it. Yeah, what's a little more going to do, right? Won't matter in a few hours. You'll probably even leave me in here since there's no point looking for another antidote when you already have one."

He hadn't thought of that. He really hadn't even thought that far ahead. "Is that what you think I'll do?"

"It's what most would do."

Shizuo didn't think that most people would be fucked up enough to do that. Being trapped in a pit of decay, for hours and hours till death finally let the body join the rot and waste of a human swamp.

Now, this wasn't nearly as fun as he thought it would be.

"That's sick." He pulled Izaya back up. Izaya's eyes were narrowed and slightly wet, and he still had an arm covering his mouth as he took in deep, shuddering breaths.

"Can't breathe or see shit in here," Shizuo muttered before he walked over to an adjacent wall, and with a swift punch, he cracked the cement. The walls were thicker than he first thought and he punched it again to make a hole roughly the size of a basketball. Immediately he felt a cool breeze and he could hear the soft lulling of waves against sand. The sky had a light dusting of pink in it, though he couldn't see the sun from where he was.

With one last deep breath, as if he were about to go diving under water, he turned and went over to the small hatch-like door in the wall. The red exit sign was a blur as he leaped. It really was only a three-second drop.

His landing was uneven and he realized seconds why it was so, as the blood of all these bodies had settled somewhere below him. He had to lean forward with his hands as the mass under him gave way and slid down. One foot sunk through something and his other foot was ankle deep in a gummy wetness. Body parts undulated around him and Shizuo lifted his hands from a waxy leg.

The way everything had shifted let out the trapped gasses from below, and Shizuo wisely held his breath. He had to wipe the screen of Izaya's phone on his pants. Light shone on bodies that could have been weeks old. He soon realized that the heads had all been severed. They were bloated up faces caving in and some heads had no faces as the skin had been removed. Shizuo was tempted to turn off the light.

Instead, he lifted it high, aimed where he last saw the little vial. The way he had landed made everything shift. He couldn't see where it had gone. Heaviness settled painfully in his stomach.

When he moved too quickly, trying to climb over feet and sopping wet clothes and everything in between that, he ended up dislodging the mass underneath him and threatening the foundation of the mound. Bodies turned towards him as if they came alive—tumbling pieces that only partially resembled limbs and body parts.

He searched for anything that reflected the light. Something caught his eye to the left, and he dragged himself closer. The disgusting skin and blood was slick against his bare chest as he moved all the way to an expensive looking watch hanging from a darkened wrist with peeling skin.

A violent ache was creeping deep in his chest. He would need to get higher.

It would be better. The bodies were fresher there, more sturdy. Where he brought his knee down, the hardened flesh gave way into a compressed spongy cavity. A viscous wetness stuck to his leg. He quickly rose up higher, just as his need to breathe became too much. The moment he sucked in a tiny bit of air was when he could no longer hold it in any longer.

The dead would surely hate him if they knew he was throwing up on their spoiling remains.

Each time he breathed in new, he just wanted to heave it out.

"Fuck," Shizuo seethed and he spat out the acrid taste from his mouth. Through watering eyes, he looked around for the vial. He was closer to the top and still he couldn't see the shitty vial. It had probably moved to the other side of the mound. He held his breath again and began to carefully shift his way around the top. Twice he almost sunk in too low, and his front came in contact with hardened stained clothes and decaying tissue. Izaya's phone was sticky in his hands as Shizuo held it up and he blinked back the stinging in his eyes. He saw the light reflect off a smooth surface.

There was the antidote. It was only a meter away, settled against matted hair. As gently as he could, he shifted closer. Bones gave way from under his feet, and Shizuo held onto a leg deeply embedded in the mound. 

It was so close. Just a hand's width away. He took another step closer and the weight shifted under him. He clasped his hand against a blackened forehead, reaching further for the small glass vial. With a push that was too much for what was below him, he reached for the antidote just as he closed his eyes and the top collapsed around him. Heavy, sticky chunks slid over his back and shoulders.

But both of his hands were full and it didn't matter as he sunk further in, not when the cool cylinder glass was in his palm.

He heard movement from above: a guttural groan and for a second he wondered if someone was still alive here, but then he remembered that, yes, there was someone besides Izaya and him: the face ripper.

Shizuo stuck both the vial and the smartphone in his pants pockets. He took in a quick gulp of sickly air before retracing his steps. He no longer had to be too careful as he slugged his way through.

He could hear Izaya speak in a cool, collected voice, switching between different languages too. Shizuo couldn't hear if the man spoke though.

It was difficult when his feet would break the hardened surface of what was once soft tissue. He didn't give it much thought either when he belatedly realized that he had stepped over heads.

He wasn't close to the wall when he heard a sudden roar. It was an angry noise that he was sure was from pain. Shizuo was almost certain though that it hadn't been Izaya's voice. But he did hear a whoosh of something moving fast and then a clatter of metal.

He reached the wall. The only way he could climb it was by forcing his fists and feet through the sleek metal. The skin at his knuckles broke as he climbed. His head and chest hurt from the lack of air.

Someone was definitely being thrown to the ground, and Shizuo was pretty sure that Izaya wasn't strong enough to lift anyone at the moment. 

His lungs burned. His eyes burned. He shot his arm too far into sleek metal. When he pulled back, through a layer of cement as well, he had made a thumbnail-sized crack and a tiny stream of light passed through. As much as he wanted to stick his head through, and suck in a breath of cleaner air, he forced himself to move higher.

Even his muscles ached as his cells were deprived of enough air. At last his fingers met the ledge and he pulled himself up, sucking in the stale air in quick pants as he did so.

The light from the hole bisected the space between them. He looked towards the floor where Izaya laid face first, pinned with his right arm behind his back. A fist was raised, ready to punch him once more.

A heavily bleeding gash ran all along the masked face from where he had pulled the chain from his many faces. That same chain was embedded in the wall by one of Izaya's knives. Shizuo eyed the Swiss Army knife by the floor, then the profusely bleeding stab wound at the man's chest, and finally he met those dark, heavily dilated eyes.

"You should have just stayed down," Shizuo said in a low, cold voice. The fury came alive within him, a familiar burn that his body knew how to handle once he focused on his next victim. "'Cause you're going to wish that the chainsaw had gone through your head when you had the chance to die peacefully."

He stepped down to the floor, fully aware of the stickiness that clung to him. Making him so fucking sick that washing it down with fresher blood was beginning to sound like a good idea.

He wrenched the small metal door from its hinges and lifted it effortlessly above his head. Though it was an effort to not throw it, Shizuo halted, remembering that Izaya was still being pinned there to the ground. Instead, he took another step forward with the door clenched tight in one of his hands.

That fist lowered to the back of Izaya's neck.

From under cutout eye holes, blood seeped out, as if that dead man's face could still cry, and the man eyed the vial that was poking out of Shizuo's pocket. He slowly lifted Izaya and from his pocket, he took out a long, fat needle and tipped it under the flea's chin.

Izaya didn't look good, but he didn't look terrible either. There was blood all along his front, and Shizuo wasn't sure if it was his or from the floor. Maybe it was both.

" _The antidote._ " It was spoken in heavily accented English that he couldn't identify.

" _What?_ "

" _Give me the antidote_ ," he breathed thick and wetly as if from his teeth. " _Or I'll tear him to pieces_."

Izaya lifted his gaze from the floor. He was indignant to be in this position, but there was that cold look in his eyes like he knew exactly what would happen. As if this was amusing and Shizuo was in on the joke.

He didn't think this was funny at all.

By that look, Izaya was sure that Shizuo would let that door fly and then walk away. The reassuring feel of the antidote inside his pocket was tempting him to do just that. Oh, it would be so fucking _easy_.

Would he put anyone in a meat grinder in order to live? Well, fuck him and his awful meat grinder metaphor, or whatever the hell it was called.

" _Starting from the neck, the blood flows there the prettiest."_

"I don't understand the fuck you're saying."

" _I need a new mask anyway. It'll be nice to look young again."_

Izaya chuckled. " _I'm honored you like my face, but I don't think it'll look as nice when on you._ "

His head was tipped back sharply and the masked man just grinned wider as their eyes met. He really would. That hand was itching to cut in deep.

Shizuo was so incredibly pissed for what he was going to do next.

" _Hey!_ " Shizuo yelled. " _You want?"_ He dropped the door to the ground and pulled the vial from his pocket. That cruel stare was set on him, and that needlepoint was close to dragging across skin. " _Then here you are_."

He tossed the antidote high in the air and took a few steps forward. Immediately, Izaya was thrown at Shizuo. He didn't even think about it when his body reacted on instinct to the moment.

He sent Izaya across the floor with a kick of his leg. He only felt a little bad as the flea's body rolled across cement all the way to a wall.

But that moment cost him. Shizuo didn't reach the masked man in time as the vial was broken between teeth and downed in a single gulp.

"Ah, fuck! Fuck!" Shizuo was ready to punch the man anyway. All of his frustration gathered in his fist, aimed right for the man's chest.

His fist connected and the man flew into the wall behind him. He was lodged there as he began to convulse. Shizuo didn't think he had punched the man hard enough for his chest to open and bleed through.

"Shit..."

The man began to choke, and red spittle and froth bubbled at his hanging mouth. Skin at his throat was warping from the inside out. It looked as if a rat had gotten into his torso and was trying to burrow its way out. He could only gurgle as his vocal cords had been ruined. A few seconds later he was silent.

The light at his raw throat beeped red. " _Game Over_."

Shizuo stared as blood continued to pool steadily at the floor. It reminded him of the sticky, rotten shit caked to his skin. He had gone in there for that? He was so fucking disgusting. The repugnant smell was still all over him.

"Did you know it wasn't really the antidote?" Izaya asked as he leaned his back against the wall where he was sitting.

"I didn't."

The sounds of the ocean waves were never so enticing. He quickly went over to the hole he had made earlier and the wall cracked and broke apart easily when he forced his way through.

Throwing his ruined pack of cigarettes and Izaya's phone on the sand, Shizuo stepped in the waves and when he was far enough he dunked under.

Waves surged around him. But the feel of all those cut up bodies and their noxious fluids and gasses still clung to him as if to mark him with an infectious rotting from deep within. He let the waves carry him further. His fists tingled where the skin had broken.

When his lungs began to ache for air, Shizuo opened his eyes. He turned towards the shore, and deep down below him, where the water edged darker, he saw the corner of the building that he had just been in, and where the bodies were inside.

Above him, the last rays of the setting sun shone through.

It reminded him of something and Shizuo broke through the surface of the water. He slicked back his hair from his forehead. He felt a bit better when he reached the shore and his feet touched the sand. He didn't bother shaking the water from his stained pants. Izaya had managed to pull himself towards the hole in the wall, and he was still covered in blood. A new bruise was forming on his cheek, over the one that had just begun to heal.

Shizuo reached for the phone on the ground. It was still sticky. "Here." He passed it over and Izaya looked at it with a frown before he took it back.

Shizuo stepped into the room and onto pieces of broken cement. The man was still lodged in the cement.

Shit. That could have been him. He didn't really think of himself as lucky though.

"You're taking this all quite well," Izaya said while wiping his phone against the sand. There was a moment of silence as the flea expected an answer that Shizuo didn't have. Maybe he should have been breaking the walls and yelling about how shitty everything was, but right now he was holding onto something that was frail and if he lost it now, then maybe he really would lose everything. "Why are you going back inside?"

The dust floated peacefully in the air. "I don't know. I think I saw something while I was down there."

"You're going back in _there_?"

As if to answer him, Shizuo went over to the small metal door and stuck it back into the wall where the rancid odor was permeating. It only just stayed on.

What he was trying to figure out was why when he was in there he had seen a speck of light. It wasn't from this room, he was sure, but further down. But that shouldn't have been possible. Unless there was a room below them. Maybe he had missed something when he had first gone by these rooms.

Izaya looked annoyed from where he was sitting in the sand, but Shizuo didn't care. "You going to just sit there or what?"

"Depends. You know, if there's another crazy guy hiding somewhere, I might sit this one out."

"Come on." He pulled Izaya up, and the flea had his nose scrunched up by the lingering smell.

"Wow, you reek and not metaphorically."

"Yeah, and whose fault do you think that is?" When he placed Izaya against his back, he could tell that he was leaning as far away as possible.

"Mine." His voice was obviously smug. "But how was I to know it was a fake anitdote?"

"Bastard."

Izay snickered. He was warm against his damp skin. The cell phone lighted their way. "So what are you looking for?"

"Don't know."

There were only four rooms in total. Three had large black billboards with words. The last one Shizuo hadn't bothered to read. He figured he should check that one first.

He walked around a puddle of blood that looked black in the dim light.

The room had a similar setup as the others with a blackboard that had many different languages on it. He stepped closer so that the light could reach the top where the Japanese was.

_Live or die. Make your choice._

There wasn't anything else in here. It wasn't particularly helpful. But what did he expect?

The sign was seriously pissing him off. "Live or die? What kind of choice is that, hah?" His fist went through the center and the metal paneling behind it cracked. "I'll show you what it means to die when I find you!"

He ripped the entire thing off and threw it hard against the opposite wall. The very foundation of the building shook. It became embedded there, blocking their exit.

Izaya gripped him hard at the shoulder. "I always had the feeling you were the type to break billboards you found annoying," Izaya continued with a light chuckle. "But I guess the creators of this game never took that into consideration."

"What?"

Where the blackboard had once concealed was a metal door.

"Good choice, Shizu-chan."

A sheet of metal was nothing to stop Shizuo as he broke the lock and forced his way through. It opened up to a space the size of a small closet. Bolted down in the cement was a metal ladder descending into the darkness. Good or bad, it was hard to tell if this would turn out to be something he could end up living with.

"Yeah, well," Shizuo paused as he carefully got on the ladder. "It's not like we have much of a choice anyway."


	23. The Sometimes Marvelous and Brutish Dip-low-cock-us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's evolving! It's now twice the size

Izaya laughed derisively, it hurt the way the bruises at his cheek moved and felt raw in his throat. Even the sound was raw and bruised, but Izaya laughed because it was better than the bitterness he felt from those words.

"Even monsters have choices, Shizu-chan."

And this monster continued to make the wrong ones.

Shizuo's face pulled as he took careful steps downward, the sound echoed in the confined space.

Izaya held his cellphone in his good hand. He could already see the ground a good drop below them. Under his fingertips, the smooth hard muscles along Shizuo's shoulders were still damp from seawater and gave off the lingering stench that hadn't been able to be washed off.

The choices made said an invaluable amount about an individual's character. Of course, that was one aspect of human nature that Izaya loved to witness. There were so many humans to observe with their infinite amount of possible choices, and Izaya especially loved it when a human evolved beyond his expectations.

Which was why he was annoyed from what Shizuo said because there was always a choice.

But it had been worth it, up to the point Shizuo had made his blunder.

Izaya could easily picture the way Shizuo had come out of that door covered in blood and filth. At that moment, no one would have thought that creature as anything but a monster. Not even the humans delusional about Shizuo's nature, who believed him to be something as laughable as kind or admirable, could deny that it was a beast that had come from the pit of human carnage.

It had almost been perfect. That had been the monster that Izaya knew Shizuo was: violent and disgusting, nothing resembling human.

Izaya had given him the perfect opportunity to accept that, and not as the birth of a monster, but the admission to it.

Shizuo continued to ease his way down the metal ladder, ignorant of the quiet enmity that rested against his back.

The sound of shoes scuffing against cement was louder in the confined space. Izaya held up the phone higher and Shizuo turned to the right where there was a white, heavy-looking door.

"So you want to sit here or come in with me?" Shizuo asked in a low voice, just above a whisper.

"Really now, how very thoughtful of you," Izaya murmured with a frown, now even more annoyed because Shizuo shouldn't even be bothering to ask in the first place. "But considering how every single time you left me behind was when someone decided to come after me, I think it's safe to assume that if you leave me here then a maniac with a flamethrower will come barging through."

"Jeez, you better be wrong 'cause I'm just about done with this island." Shizuo put his hand on the metal doorknob and when it turned and the door wouldn't budge, he put more strength into it and forced it open with a crunch of metal.

The room was dark, but immediately Izaya saw screens across one wall playing back different video feeds, all of which were definitely from the island. The light from the monitors cast a light glow over everything. There was one central screen that was bigger than the others. Currently, it was playing a man running wildly through dense foliage.

This was a control room. While Shizuo took some cautious steps forward, Izaya looked around. There was one chair in front of the screens with a white mug resting atop a fairly simple control board. There were two other doors.

From here he could hear the low hum of the monitors as well as muted screams. If there was someone here, they would be hiding behind one of those doors.

Shizuo walked over to the screens and put Izaya down in the chair. It was heavily padded and reminded him of a dentist's chair, but even though he was somewhat lightly placed down, his body thrummed with pain. He also felt something else. Izaya grinned up at Shizuo.

"Still warm."

"Shit," Shizuo cursed and grimaced. Taking the phone from Izaya without a fuss, he looked back and went towards the nearest door. With only the softest of whooshes, the door opened and Shizuo stepped inside.

He glanced up at the monitors. Would there be video cameras here as well?

There was the quick sound of curtains being drawn and Izaya turned his attention back to where Shizuo had gone. A toilet flushed loudly next, and Izaya lifted one of his eyebrows.

He emerged from the room a second later. "Some asshole didn't flush," he whispered from across the room.

'Go,' Izaya mouthed back at him and pointed to the remaining door to their far left.

From behind him Izaya heard a pained scream. He tilted his head and saw a large man with a wooden spear driving it forward, and the screen switched to a new feed, of a feeble looking man cowering in the mud as a spear rammed into his stomach.

He imagined that somewhere far from this island some men were clapping as they sipped their expensive wines. Maybe someone had won money while downing red liquor as a man drained out from his gut.

Flitting over the other video feeds, Izaya focused on those that were darker and depicted the inside of buildings, where either people were trapped or walking through. And he was right. It was difficult to make out, but there was footage of Shizuo heading towards the other door. Izaya narrowed his eyes as he quickly searched through the other dark screens. There were too many of them.

He almost passed over one that was completely still, except that he could definitely make out two hands holding onto something. The perspective was strange too. He switched to the next dark screen before changing his mind and focusing in on what was in those hands. Just by the way two arms were shown holding something small, it looked suspiciously like how someone would hold a gun. His eyes widened and before he could so much as open his mouth, he heard a loud splitting gunshot, then rounds of gunfire. He spun around in his chair.

Shizuo was on the ground. There were four small holes in the door and one large foot sized hole below the handle.

Izaya gripped the hard padding under his fingers. He leaned forward in his seat as he strained to see if blood was pooling from under Shizuo's body.

Boxes shuffled noisily, but Izaya refrained from checking the screens.

A moment later, from where he lay, Shizuo kicked the door once more and this time the entire frame burst from the hinges and collided into whatever was in its path.

lunging as gracelessly as ever, Shizuo followed the door. If he was shot, he didn't act like it. Another bullet went off.

Izaya couldn't see from here so he turned around. The scene was playing on the biggest screen, and from the angle, it must have been recording somewhere from Shizuo's metal collar as he saw both the hand and gun break as Shizuo crushed the weapon. That hand must have been pretty mangled judging by how hard that cry of pain sounded. 

"You know, you were trying to kill me right?" Izaya heard the threatening low voice from both the sound system behind him and from across the room. The short gasps of pain became louder. "So why are you making such a fuss about your hand, huh? When you were definitely aiming for my head." There was another cry that sounded more like fear. 

The man spoke back in a dialect of Chinese, most likely Mandarin. 

"Oh, fucking great!" The gasps of pain got louder as Shizuo dragged the man from the floor into the main room. He was lying on his stomach, but he lifted his head to glare up at Izaya next. Shizuo stepped on his shoulder, and the man gritted his teeth angrily. The hand had been broken around his gun. Neither gun or hand looked usable.

"So it wasn't a flamethrower," Izaya said as he found his breathing evening out. He took in his features easily like he was categorizing them. The man looked to be in his late thirties with premature thinning hair, eyebrows that were slanted low on his face, a forehead that looked a bit too small, and a jawline that was wide and square. He wore a dark green track suit. He had unusually small feet. He wasn't ugly, but he wasn't good looking either. All in all, he was a nondescript kind of man that Izaya could imagine would be ideal for jobs where he wouldn't be noticed.

He was huddled on the ground with his hand at his chest, looking around with darting eyes.

But his most important feature was the metal device around his neck, the same that was around theirs.

"So what do we do?" Shizuo asked as he straightened up and looked to be coming down from an adrenaline rush.

"I have a translator in my phone, that is, if it's still working."

"Yeah, I got it right here." Shizuo took it from his pants, and Izaya eyed the obvious bullet hole in the grey material by the side of Shizuo's calf. There was blood staining all over his leg, but that could have just been from the pit he had jumped into.

"Did you get shot?" Izaya asked with a small wave. The chair had wheels and his legs protested from the effort of rolling a few yards.

"Don't think so," Shizuo said as he passed over the phone, looked down where Izaya was pointing, and scowled. "Oh."

Izaya was watching the man on the floor and switched his focus on Shizuo who poked the hole and frowned.

"He just got my pants," Shizuo said.

Izaya waited for the intense anger that should have been there after that sentence, but Shizuo just sounded pissed.

"Must have been when I first kicked the door, and did it too hard and lost my balance. I thought the frame was metal."

Izaya opened the app. From under his fingers, the sticky and crusty residue had gotten into the cracks. The battery life was getting critically low. If he used it sparingly, it might last the night.

"Hey. If you can do stuff like that on your phone can't you like email or text someone?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya smirked. "You think I'd still be here if that were possible? I can run this app without data."

"Oh, all right then ask him where the antidote is."

Izaya looked down at dark brown, nearly black, angry eyes. There was an underlying terror that wouldn't take much to surface. Maybe he had watched Shizuo on camera and knew that the foot holding him down could go right through his rib cage.

Izaya grinned. That would be interesting, now wouldn't it?

He began to type.

_[The life will be stomped out of you. Literally. That foot holding you down will go through you. I imagine it will be excruciatingly painful for a few seconds to be crushed like an insect.]_

He pushed the enter button. The text changed including some of the kanji. He angled it down so that it could be read.

A quivering terror bled into angry eyes. He began to speak, and Izaya didn't need to be fluent in Mandarin to understand that the man was bargaining for his life.

Izaya changed the function so that the phone could pick up the Chinese characters and translate it back to Japanese. Each time something new was entered, the previous entry had to be wiped clean.

_[...believe me. I can't tell you where it is. The antidote. They'll kill me if I say. I'm just like you. Victim in their game.]_

The translation wasn't perfect. Izaya leaned in his seat and nodded his head. He lifted a finger to get him to quiet down since he was still babbling.

"So what did he say?" Shizuo asked.

"He knows but won't say," Izaya said as he typed in his response.

"He knows!?"

Izaya nodded his head and brought his phone down again.

_[My aren't you so eager to live. Did I mention anything about the antidote? Frankly, I don't care if you know where the antidote is. I just want to watch you get killed by this monster here.]_

"This fucker who tried to shoot me knows!" Shizuo growled.

"Yes, so why don't you put some pressure on him. It doesn't seem like he understands just how serious we are _."_

The man gritted his crooked teeth in pain and his eyes widened as Shizuo did just that. He was saying more things, but Izaya idly typed on his phone.

"Yeah, so what's he saying now?"

"Hold on a second. Let's see if this will convince him."

The new words got the man trembling with rage and fear.

_[You see, it would make me really happy if you continued to piss this guy off. So by all means, don't tell this monster what you know.]_

The curse words were ignored as Izaya used his phone.

_[I love humans, I love you all so very much. I would have very much have liked to have gotten to know you.]_

Izaya paused to type some more.

_[Though I'll find it hard to mourn for you.]_

_[But when you are killed, I'll remember you fondly.]_

Izaya switched the function to translate for the man.

_[Fuck your ancestors, you Japanese mother fuckers.]_

"I'm surprised that translated so well, here look at this! This app was definitely worth the 700 yen."

"Is it the location?" Shizuo asked as he squinted in the dark. "...Japanese motherfuckers, huh! You want me to mess up more than your hand?"

Shizuo got closer, lifted the guy up before slamming him back down into the tiled floor. "Tell me where it is!"

The man mumbled something in Mandarin.

"Give me the phone, you're probably doing a piss-poor job at playing mediator."

Izaya handed him the phone. "He refuses to say anything. Obviously, you'll have to resort to torture."

It looked like Shizuo was typing furiously enough that the phone would snap. A few moments later he shoved it so close to the man's face, his eyes were going cross eyed to read it.

"How do I change the function so that his words will be translated?"

"It's the blue triangle shape next to the arrows."

Shizuo looked angrily confused till he figured out the function. He brought the phone down again.

He looked angrier by whatever was translated.

"You know," he spoke close to the phone so that it could be translated, "when you shot at me, you were prepared to die. You knew what would happen if you missed, right? That you'd be killed. So you can't complain when I beat you to death, now can you?"

He showed the man the translation before he punched him in the shoulder. Izaya wasn't sure if the cracking noises were the tiles or bones breaking. Shizuo slammed the man into the floor before lifting him up.

"Do you know what it feels like to get multiple fractures in your skull or to have every single bone in your body break at least once?" Shizuo didn't bother translating this bit. "I can tell you from experience that it hurts the first few times. Hurts much worse than colliding into a truck or getting shot."

Shizuo stepped hard on a black shoe, injuring the man's foot.

Izaya smirked as he heard the man cry out in pain. This was it.

"Hurts enough sometimes that you wonder if you're going to die this time."

Another bone snapped in the man's already injured leg. Just a little more. He could hate Shizuo like this. He could despise this monster who only knew how to ruin humans. 

"Then you survive. And afterwards, it just doesn't hurt the same."

Blood soaked through jeans. Izaya's excitement grew.

"But I can remember what's the most painful."

This was a monster. This was what he knew he was right about Heiwajima Shizuo.

A smaller bone splintered off and the man struggled anew, like an insect that twitched after it had been crushed.

"It's living with your broken, fucked up self." Shizuo brought his face closer. "So you going to tell me where it is or what?"

He looked to be barely conscious. There was only fear in those eyes. His mouth was hanging in pain with saliva running down his bottom lip.  The words from his mouth sounded more like a whispered croak.

Izaya was really impressed that the app could pick up anything at all. Shizuo threw the guy against the wall.

"He said that we can go fuck ourselves or go fuck each other. Well, now he just fucked himself over! You can deal with him if he's still alive." Shizuo passed the phone over to Izaya. He was breathing hard, looking like he might just change his mind and throw the guy through the wall.

"All right," Izaya said as he gingerly took his phone back. He grinned as he slowly rolled over to the man who was a mess on the floor, and for a moment Izaya read the hate in those eyes. It just made him grin wider.

He typed on his phone.

_[You're doing great. And even though you're going to die, I'll still slip some bills in your pocket, that way you can imagine you're dying for a fortune. That's not such a bad way to die, now is it? I guess I'm terribly sorry that it had to be you. It's really nothing personal.]_

He hit the translation button and the guy began to curse him, panting and spitting bloody spittle. He spoke for a while. What he could record he showed Shizuo.

[.. _.your times up, there's not a fucking thing you can do, walking dead men. No one's made out alive from this island and when you two dying, it'll be recorded for their amusement. Lives that are worth more die in shit.]_

Shizuo's fingers twitched. He looked like he really wanted to smash that face to bits and pieces.

"If I hit him anymore he's just going to go unconscious and I can't really bust his head open to get the info out."

Just do it, Izaya thought with a quirk of his lips, it'll end your suffering sooner.

"Damn this is annoying!" Shizuo turned to Izaya instead. "Isn't it your job to get information out of people? Why are you such shit at this?"

Izaya shook his head. "It's not exactly my job to get information _out_ of people, well not like this at least, it's to deal in information and to collect information on people. Even you can understand that the more valuable the information, the higher the cost. And some things just don't have a price. Meaning other measures are needed to get to the source."

Shizuo scowled back at him as if whatever he had said meant nothing.

"But I do know," Izaya continued as he made a show of getting comfortable in the thickly padded chair, "that most humans do crack under extreme duress. It's just a matter of time, suffering, and brutalizing," his eyes flicked up to Shizuo's "that will get him to comply. But since we don't have so much time, you better start cracking."

Now Shizuo shook his head, so much like a bull would with a horsefly bothering it.

"Doesn't make sense." He said slow and thickly. "Something smells like shit. Does he really know where it is? If he did why is he still here? Why does he have a collar too?"

Izaya sighed. He hated it when Shizuo got these ideas in his head. This would take forever. "All right then, I'll ask." He leaned down in his chair, stretched his arm out, and examined the man's face as he typed on his phone.

Tears were forming at the corners of his puffy eyes and his nose was running with blood and snot. He cringed when the phone light shone in his eyes.

Izaya had to bring the phone closer to his mouth to pick up his response. It really did take long for a coherent response the phone could pick up.

"He said that he's a maintenance worker. He fixes some of the cameras and does whatever he's instructed to do."

"Yeah, and...?"

Izaya continued to type. He could practically see the visible skin continue to swell and discolor. Half a minute later he had a response. Even a name.

"And he's part of the triads, but not high in the hierarchy. He's done something wrong, which he didn't say, but his punishment is to stay here for three months. But you know, if you betray the Chinese mafia, it's been said that death is by a hundred cuts or by hacking. So maybe he has something greater to fear than you."

"Only a hundred? Seems a bit mild than the shit that goes on here. Well, then why does he have a collar then?"

Izaya gave him a lookーamused mostly.

"It's really not mild at all. Lingchi was a form of torture popular for about a thousand years in China. A thousand cuts is a more accurate translation and death is slow. As for why he has a collar, well he said he was a victim too, but it's probably more accurate to say he's only a pawn, and who's to say that after three months he won't also be injected with poison."

"Well if he's prepared to take a life, then he's prepared to be killed as well. He's not innocent."

He couldn't help himself from asking. "And are you prepared to die, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo stopped glaring at the crumpled up man to stare at Izaya as if he had said something completely idiotic. Izaya rarely had that stare directed at him. "Are you dumb or what? I'm not innocent either."

"Of course." He's not innocent that's for sure, Izaya thought. But he's nowhere near as tarnished as he should be.

Izaya looked back at the man barely holding it together. He wanted this to last. Not to torture him, but for Shizuo.

He typed a new entry.

_[If you're hoping to outlive us, then go ahead. I'll be rooting for you. Stay alive for as long as you can. That way we'll get to know each other so much better. It might even be fun. That's right, it could be good for you, you know considering how being sent here means that you're dispensable. Showing them a good time might let them forgive you, that usually works for everyone. Make it look like you're holding out your honor to the very end. Then again, it won't matter in the slightest. You were never meant to leave this island. You lost all your chances at rising up and you'll be torn to pieces. For their amusement. That's right. Isn't it funny that you're worth less than the shit you despise, right?]_

After reading his message, those eyes turned hateful as they met his own, but there was something more there that usually got him excited. It reminded him of the humans he'd taunted when he exposed then of their fallible nature and just to spite him they wanted to do something, anything, to disprove him. Izaya usually loved this, now he hated it.

The Chinese man was saying something slurred, and Izaya didn't move to translate it.

"What did I say," Shizuo grumbled as he grabbed the phone from Izaya's grasp. "Doing a piss-poor job." The phone was pushed up against a mouth trickling with bloody saliva, and words were miraculously being picked up.

[ _The antidote, yeah I know how to get you off here island. It's close]_ the words trailed a bit as he lifted his head, lulled it to the side, and looked somewhere over their shoulders pointedly. Izaya was half tempted to turn, just as Shizuo was glancing back, but the sheer grudging grin of broken teeth had him uneasy. _[Why don't you look back, Orihara? Not over your shoulder.]_ He chuckled brokenly _. [Digging deep. The antidote likes to burrow deep, like maggots in corpses. it's right over here.]_

He began to lift up his hand, finger pointed out shakily as it lifted to his neck, grazed the metal towards the back of his head that blinked red as his collar flashed.

_"Game over."_

The man was injected with poison. He was looking at Izaya, even as his body became slack, his face quivering with each haggard breath.

Izaya normally would have been intrigued by this man's actions, but right now all he felt was bitter annoyance. Behind him, Shizuo was cursing.

Less than half a minute later the man stilled. There was a mixed smell of rotten eggs and something sickly sweet and Izaya pushed back from it. If the man had been poisoned by something with similar properties to hydrogen sulfide, a whiff of that gas in its highly concentrated form would kill him. Perhaps the needle had pierced his trachea.

Izaya continued to back up. "Get the body out of here."

"He was close to telling us, wasn't he?" Shizuo grumbled as he dragged the limp man by his wrist towards the only exit.

"Yeah," Izaya said. Too damn close. The man had almost pointed out the keyhole in the collar or the key that was probably embedded in his own back. Shizuo didn't say anything else and Izaya watched as they went through the door, the last he saw of the man were his small feet.

"Ah too bad..." That could have been spectacular. He should have just let Shizuo deal with him entirely. That way, he'd kill him in his growing frustration. But he could still work with this.

Izaya looked back at the control board, took the cup from the panel, and swished the brown contents. Feeling the smooth heated surface made him feel both civilized and dirty. He had emptied the water bottle hours ago, and looking at that black coffee reminded him of his thirst. He set the cup down and gazed up.

Playing on the biggest screen was Shizuo dragging the man up the ladder like it was a shopping bag and not a grown man. He opened the door and dropped him in a corner before turning around. The screen switched to a dark-skinned man creeping low in the foliage. His spear was a wicked blood tipped point.

Izaya checked the desk again. Mounted in a black charger was a two-way radio. He plucked it out and turned it on right away, pressing down on the talk button to ask if anyone could hear him. Only static responded. He waited a few seconds and set it back.

He could hear Shizuo coming down the ladder and then as he closed the door behind him, his footsteps were louder than the screams and cries for help being played.

"Think there's a light switch or something?" Shizuo said.

"Check the walls."

Izaya's eyes weren't ready for the too bright light. It hurt more than just his eyes.

He ducked his head at his elbow and felt the crusty hardness of dried blood on his jacket. His head and back ached. He didn't even want to lift up from his arms.

"You okay?" Shizuo asked from somewhere behind him.

He found himself wishing that Namie was here even if she would laugh if she ever saw him like this. Well, he missed the coffee or tea that she sometimes begrudgingly made him.

"Would it be unreasonable to assume that you can fetch me some tea or coffee?"

"...fetch you...you gotta be shiting me." Shizuo walked off with other disapproving noises.

He could hear boxes being pushed aside. Izaya tuned out the other noises from the screens. He propped his head up with his chin resting on his arm. He was still resting like this when a clatter sounded by his head. It was an actual white mug with steam coming from it.

"There's also food packets. Can't really tell what's in them."

The cup was hot, it wasn't just a figment of his imagination.

"...did you...do anything to it? Because it wouldn't be the first time someone offered me poisoned tea."

"Why would I do something as tedious as that when I can just smash the cup in your face?"

Izaya grinned. "Ah, how very true." The words were reassuring enough that he took a timid sip of probably the worst coffee he had ever tasted. It was definitely instant and loaded with sugar and imitation creamers. Did Shizuo not know how to make coffee...or did he make it awful on purpose?

"Is this how you normally make your coffee?"

"Why? You don't like it?"

"I think you added half a cup of sugar too much."

"I didn't put that much in, and if you don't like it, then don't drink it."

"It's fine." He took one more sip of hot coffee before putting it down.

Of course, he shouldn't have expected much out of something that Shizuo had made. Just the fact that he had done something of the like was surreal enough. And definitely not appreciated.

Shizuo was drinking out of a cup as well. The video feed was quiet. "So now what?" Shizuo asked.

"We wait." Izaya leaned back into his chair. "And watch for anyone else to find the antidote, or to spot possible locations. I was right about digging for it. The guy said it was buried deep."

Shizuo set his cup down and Izaya could smell the hot chocolate from where he sat. "You think he was telling the truth about that? He said it was here, right?"

"He was killed because he was revealing the location of the antidote. He knew that would happen, guess it was hopeless to expect him to tell us."

Shizuo didn't say anything and Izaya tilted his head to the side to see if he was paying attention. He was watching the video feeds and Izaya flicked over to the screen Shizuo was focused on and he saw that is was Jakow.

Jakow who was picking at his teeth with a twig. He was very much naked, not even having bothered to cover his very endowed self. "So he's still alive."

"Hmm? Is that longing I hear in your voice? Oh! I think Jakow just said Shizu-chan."

"Shut it."

His chair was violently knocked forward and Izaya grabbed onto the dashboard before he could collide with it. He banged his left hand hard and felt a jarring pain. "Ah, ow-" He gasped.

"Would you quit that? It creeps me out."

He leaned over his arm as the pain radiated up and down.

New blood gushed from his palm. His bandage was filthy; too filthy to be doing him any good. Slowly he peeled the cloth from his hand. It wasn't as much blood as he thought it would be. But as his hand thrummed with searing pain, he felt stabbing needles at his head as well.

"My bad just meant to tap your chair," Shizuo said.

"You didn't happen to see a first aid kit while on your quest for coffee," Izaya said through gritted teeth.

"Don't think so, but I'll check." Shizuo stepped away.

From a speaker above him, someone was screaming for help. Screaming and screaming like he had the lungs of an opera singer. It suddenly stopped as abruptly as it started.

The pain at his head was beginning to subside to something manageable, but as tiredness kept its hold on him, making him feel weak, Izaya figured it was from the combination of blood loss and poison in him.

He hadn't bothered to properly close up the wound at his hand and it wasn't like he had any supplies to do so.

He could probably stand on his own, walk a short distance if he had to, but other than that Izaya had no choice but to hold out for the next ten or so hours stuck sitting it the chair.

Yeah, if he was going to do that, then he had to be clean. His hand needed it too. He finished the rest of the coffee.

Izaya heard things falling to the floor and boxes being pushed aside. This continued for some minutes until Shizuo returned.

"I found a sewing kit and some band-aids."

He had been hoping for more but had expected less. "Great. A sewing kit. Any towels too?"

"Towels? You're bleeding that much?" Shizuo set the items down on the control board. He had found a beat up box of band-aids and a plastic case with some needles and thread.

"No, I'm going to take a shower first. There was a shower in there, right?"

"Yeah. You look hideous, well more than you usually do. Okay, towels."

Izaya didn't mention how thirty minutes ago Shizuo was covered in human filth, and he still had a lingering smell of it too.

Shizuo returned with a white folded up towel and a pair of grey loose shorts that he dropped in Izaya's lap. "All right," Shizuo said, "that's all I can stand helping you with."

"What, you don't want to join me?" Izaya snickered as Shizuo gave him a threatening look. "I'll give your back a thorough cleaning like you wouldn't believe."

"No." Shizuo shook his head. "Someone has to watch the TVs."

"A quickie then? Seven minutes wouldn't make a difference."

"Now that you mention it," Shizuo paused "I wouldn't mind squeezing every last drop of flea blood from your body. Easy cleanup."

"More than just blood, right?"

"I don't think your body fits in the pipes even if you are a skinny ass flea."

If he got punched for this, then it would be so worth it. Izaya tilted his head to the side as he looked up at Shizuo with an easy grin. "I know one thing that fits in the pipelines."

"What? Your dick? Well, aren't you lucky? 'Cause, y'know nothing of mine would fit." Shizuo grinned almost viciously, the vein throbbed noticeably on his forehead. "So get in the shower and enjoy your pipelines!"

His face heated up involuntarily. He was definitely feeling even weaker in his legs now, but he forced himself to stand and gather the shorts and towel in his arm. "Congratulations," Izaya said dryly, " you may have just evolved from a protozoan to a bicellular organism, a diplococcus."

"A dip-low-cock-us?" Shizuo said as he tried to pronounce it. It wasn't quite that pronunciation, but Izaya nodded his head anyway.

"Precisely." It wasn't the exit that he wanted to make, but a slow staggering retreat. He didn't bother looking at Shizuo as he passed him. By the time he made it to the door and closed it behind him, Izaya was breathing hard and feeling the sweat begin to bead at his scalp. There was no lock on the door. He closed his eyes for a few seconds.

"Damn," he said breathlessly. He opened his eyes and looked around. The bathroom was a western style one with the toilet and shower in the same room. There was also an empty rack, a sink, and a washing machine. Izaya lifted the top of the washing machine and saw that there were already still damp clothes inside. He went to the sink next, leaned against the porcelain, and looked up at the mirror. "Shit, I really do look awful."

He had bruises and scrapes all along the right side of his face, he was pale, and it looked like he hadn't slept in days. Freckles of dried up blood were on his face too, but that was probably from when Shizuo had kicked him into the bloody cement floor, which undoubtedly caused bruises at his sides.

A toothbrush teetered close to the edge of the sink and toothpaste rested on the opposite side. Mouthwash was on the floor and Izaya carefully bent down to pick it up. His knees hurt, so he had to rest most of his weight on the sink. He unscrewed the top and poured some directly to his mouth. It burned from somewhere at a cut in his mouth. He spat it out and twisted the faucet. The water looked clean so he took some in his palm and tasted actual water. Not sea water or dirty water, but crisp clean water. After rinsing his mouth he took in a few gulps. 

The sink was situated against the wall in between the shower and toilet. Izaya swished the curtain out of the way. The shower was also western, which didn't surprise him at all, with a low and long tub and a simple nondetachable shower head stuck on the wall. It looked relatively clean, with only a few hairs near the drain. It didn't look like it had been used long based on how shiny everything looked, maybe two months at most.

Izaya turned the knob, seeing first if there was any hot water but no matter which way he twisted it in different directions it was the same lukewarm temperature both ways. He looked down at his clothes and figured that he would feel better if he could get everything cleaned.

Walking over to the washing machine was tiring, but lifting out the heavy wet clothes was taxing. This time he leaned on the machine as he reached in and grabbed three different colored track suits before setting the bundle on the rack. He slipped out of his coat first, took out everything from the pockets, slid his belt completely out from his pants, kicked off his shoes and socks, and then took off both his black pants and boxer briefs. He put his clothes in the machine and then found a big container of laundry detergent, the dry kind that he had to scoop up with a plastic scooper that looked like it was more fit to be in a cat litter box.

Closing the top with a bang, Izaya read the English instructions and just set it to automatic. He was satisfied when the machine chirped in response and started up.

Izaya went back over to the shower and carefully stepped inside where the water was still running. He wished that he could just sit on the ledge and wash up, but the water wouldn't reach him from there. He also didn't particularly want to sit on the floor of the tub because that was probably unsanitary.

His legs could probably hold him up for long enough if he leaned against the wall. The spray of cool water was a shock to his skin, colder than his fingertips had known, but Izaya braced himself and got completely under. It was good. So good as it cooled down his warm body. He slicked back the hair from his eyes and angled his face to meet the spray. At his feet, the water was speckled red. He knew that he had to do something about his left palm. The water hitting his hand actually hurt and Izaya winced as red-tinged water ran down his arm and body. He leaned completely against the wall, feeling dizzy. His vision was blacking out, and Izaya struggled to remain upright, determined not to pass out in the shower.

Fifteen long seconds later the nausea was only a lingering thing. He resumed making sure any foreign debris would wash out. Looking at it now, with dark angry edges and visible ugly veins, Izaya knew that he would have to close it up somehow if he didn't want to suffer from any more blood loss. It was a mistake to try to move it and Izaya felt a wave of physical weakness hit him. He was careful not to let anything touch his left hand any longer.

There was no shampoo, just a simple bar of white soap. It was resting in a corner and Izaya carefully reached for it, mindful not to move too much. With one hand he began to soap himself.

It was while he was reaching behind his back, where he had the most bruises, that the soap slipped from his grasp and skidded by his foot near the drain. Izaya glared at it.

His legs were near his limit and he didn't think that if he sat down to pick it up, that he'd ever be able to get up again. He was careful not to bend his knees as he reached down. If this was prison, then he probably would be out of luck, but thankfully Shizu-

His thoughts stopped immediately as the sharp tug of a curtain sounded behind him. His heart rate spiked in surprise. What! He completely hadn't heard Shizuo coming in. He nearly crumpled to the floor if the sheer humiliation of that didn't stop him. And the soap decided to fall from his grasp again.

"You just had to drop the soap now, didn't you?" Shizuo said in a low voice. Izaya gave up on that cursed soap bar completely.

"Uh," Izaya was still bent over, "coincidence?" He felt all of the sexiness of a bruised banana. A peeled bruised banana. He probably should get up and wrestle the curtain for ownership. "You know, I wasn't serious about you joining me..." Izaya struggled to right himself, feeling even weaker now. But he managed, though probably again very unsexily and un-Izaya like. Now he was beginning to feel pissed. He met Shizuo head on. "There is such a thing called knocking. Or privacy. You know what that is, right?"

"Oh yeah, that's why I'm here," Shizuo said as if he had momentarily forgotten. His fist hit the side of the wall where it met the ceiling. It cracked and shards of tile and wiring crumbled to the floor of the tub. Izaya immediately knew it for what it was, a hidden camera. "You were blocking the screen and it pissed me off. Sorry 'bout that." He then looked away and before Izaya could think to say anything else, Shizuo turned around and left. The water running down his back was cool, but his body was flushed.

Izaya sat down on the ledge of the tub, letting the water drum around his feet as he put his head in his arm and groaned.

The rest of the shower was spent in a silent riot of affliction.

When the washing machine finally banged one last time, and his toes were numb and wrinkly, Izaya finally mustered the will to get up. The faucet screeched when he turned it off. On the sink, where he had left the towel and shorts, Izaya pulled out the towel, causing the shorts to fall, and carelessly dried his chilled body. He tiredly put on the shorts that were much too loose and hung dangerously low on his hips. His hair was relatively dry from just sitting there, so he put the towel around his shoulders and got up.

He left a wet trail as he walked slowly. Passing the washing machine, he paused, then checked to see if there was a drying setting. There was, and Izaya set it for thirty minutes.

When he reached the door, he felt his mustered strength diminish once more, but he figured it didn't matter much when Shizuo would die soon anyway. With that thought in mind, he opened the door and walked out with weak limbs.

Shizuo had found a fold-up chair and propped it a few yards away from Izaya's. He also had managed to find his own towel and clothes. Shizuo looked up when Izaya closed the door, their eyes met for a glance but Shizuo's steady gaze caused Izaya to falter and he watched the screens instead.

An unfamiliar clenching and unease in his chest and stomach, as if his torso was warm, made Izaya want to turn right back and hurl.

When he exhaustively fell into his seat, nothing had been said between them and the silence filled with the background noise of humans in misery on the island.

"Shower's free," he said unnecessarily.

"Hmm." Shizuo got up and Izaya waited for the door to close before he slumped in his seat. The sounds of the island from the speakers were a good distraction. He watched the screens for some time, becoming increasingly annoyed at how pointless everything here was. Most of these men didn't even have a chance against the senseless violence. 

"Human suffering, huh?" Izaya mused quietly before he set out to fix his hand. He would have to sterilize the sewing kit. The thread would be tricky to clean and work with. He picked up the needle and stared in the minuscule hole, twirling it between his fingers as he did so.

When the needle and thread were ready he pierced it into his inflamed skin and passed it through and methodically continued to sew. This kind of pain was easier to deal with.


	24. upon a shooting star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You think I can’t?” Shizuo chuckled dangerously low. “Oh, I’m going to enjoy this. Gonna savor this.”

Water hissed and jetted out from the shower head, and Shizuo let what felt like layers of filth run off his skin.

He stood there for some time just feeling the water hit him. By his feet were shards of broken tiles and black plastic. There was also the bar of soap resting by the drain. He had glared at it the moment that he had drawn the curtain and stepped inside. But otherwise, he hadn't bothered to touch it.

Soon he would need it if he really wanted to get clean. But that reminded him of other things. Of when he had been trying to figure out where the fuck the antidote was and the biggest screen changed to Izaya showering. At first, he had tried to ignore it, but his patience lasted only a full ten seconds before he became distracted and thoroughly annoyed. Once he rationally took into consideration that Izaya couldn't be blocking the screen on purpose, Shizuo knew that it didn't make sense to be so angry at Izaya.

It wasn't like he could go rushing in there after him either.

But he had still been pissed as he pushed random buttons on the control board, hoping that one could block out the screen. He had thought that he was pissed at having to see the flea naked, but as nothing worked he sat back in his chair wondering what was so interesting about someone taking a shower.

Was this really the most interesting thing happening on the island?

Then it had hit him. He was so angry that the people who had put them on this island were now getting off on watching Izaya take a shower.

That had been the time Shizuo got up and went straight to crush the hidden camera without a second thought. But when he had drawn the curtain, he had no way to prepare himself for Izaya's ass. For a bewildered second, like a dumb creature caught in a car's headlights, Shizuo had blanked out on his immediate goal and froze.

Then he had gotten angry at the soap Izaya was still reaching for. But by then it was already too late to fix the curtain in place and get the fuck out.

He was still thinking about it as he reluctantly grabbed the soap from the floor and began to gather foamy bubbles in his hands.

But seriously, why did they have to be watching that? It was the scrawny flea for fuck's sake. Who the fuck cared if he had a nice ass—

Shizuo crushed the soap in his hand.

"Ah fuck," Shizuo growled, thinking that the flea had infected his mind purposely, like the slimy parasite he was. Was there a way to clean his brain too? Maybe he'd just settle with cleaning his eyes out with soap—but no, he knew all too well where that soap had gone!

What a headache! He should stop thinking about it. He doubted that either of them would mention it either. So no point in making a big deal out of nothing. Not when he had been to onsens and seen other people bathe. What was the big deal? It was the flea's fault for reacting like that.

Damn now he was just giving himself an even worse headache.

Cleaning the rest of his body, Shizuo, with an annoyed breath, dried himself off before pulling on a baggy pair of tracksuit pants that ended at his mid-shins and a grey shirt that was too wide. He looked ridiculous, but it was clothes and it was better than going out there naked. He finished towel drying his hair.

As he passed the mirror he glanced at his reflection and figured that he looked semi decent all considering, especially now that he had showered. There was a toothbrush on the sink along with toothpaste and Shizuo deliberated for a second before he picked it up, ran it under the faucet, cleaned it with some soap, then rinsed it once more.

He brushed his teeth and the toothpaste tasted strongly of peppermint. He glanced at the logo of a man smiling and wearing a suit and top hat. He put both items back where he had found them.

The washing machine had twenty minutes remaining. Shizuo wondered if the detergent was the good kind because he didn't go cheap with washing. Well, it probably didn't matter anymore, not with the bullet hole and other tears in his pants.

Lastly, he used a rag by the tub to collect the water by the floor since there hadn't been a bath mat and strangely there wasn't a drain on the floor like in most bathrooms. But this was a western style bathroom so maybe it wasn't strange.

His shoes were still wet and he walked out barefoot. He saw that Izaya was just about finishing sewing up the back of his hand. The needlework was good and the stitches were even. It was much better than what he'd have been able to do.

He sat in the metal chair and looked up at the screen. "Did I miss anything?" He asked after a pause.

"Yes. There is a wannabe samurai who took a guy out like he was playing baseball with his katana. Mura teamed up with another guy and he found a new shirt. Jakow scared a man off just by standing. And there's someone who keeps saying, 'that's a dick in my mouth' and I don't know who. Does that answer your question?"

Shizuo looked at Izaya who was still calmly sewing the last stitch to his hand. As the needle passed through his skin, there was a perceptible flinch and he worried his bottom lip.

"Huh...all that?"

"Yeah." He grabbed a pair of tiny scissors and cut off the extra string. He began to cover the stitches with band-aids that were much darker than his too pale skin. "Why is it that you have a shirt and I don't?" Izaya asked when he finally looked over.

Shizuo scowled. "I don't know, you had your coat on so I didn't think about it. This one is the last clean one but you can have it."

He was about to take it off when Izaya said, "don't bother. My clothes will be done soon."

Shizuo didn't say anything back, instead, he focused on the screens. He just knew it would be a long night. If they were going to stay up the entire night he doubted that hot chocolate and instant coffee would be enough. Now that he thought about it, the last decent meal that he had was about two days ago. As if just realizing this fact, his stomach grumbled painfully. Izaya had eaten even less than he had. "You hungry?"

Izaya looked bored as he watched the screens. "Depends on what's available. I don't want my last meal to be something truly heinous."

"It won't be your last, moron." His chair rocked unsteadily when he stood up. It was made poorly and felt like it was missing a screw.

He had to lift up the broken frame of the door, open some cardboard boxes, and put all the grey satchels of food into one huge box so that he could carry it all. He brought it over, setting it on his chair and reaching inside to pull some grey packages out. He flipped them over to see if he could read it, they all had English letters.

The first one he tried to read. "You want some, eh, _omelet due from age_?"

"Run that by me again," Izaya said with a mocking grin.

"Here you read it." Shizuo shoved it forward.

"No, no, no, it's okay, I don't want that one anyway, something else please."

Shizuo frowned as he looked at the labels and tried to pick ones he could read.

_Crème de broccoli, porc au lait, coq au vin, Frogs' Legs à la Parisienne, sperghetti..._

His brows knitted. "You want some... _spelghetti_?"

Izaya grinned even wider. "You mean spaghetti?"

"That's not what it says!" Shizuo said threateningly, "see!"

Izaya did read it then looked at him from the corner of his eyes with that infuriating grin. "Actually it says _sperghetti_."

"Yeah, that's what I said! You read then!"

Izaya picked up the one that said spelghetti and squeezed the satchel around. "Yep, feels like pasta. I wonder if they made a typo." He then cut open the top with his tiny scissors, and Shizuo's nose was assaulted by something disgusting like kitchen supplies. The inside was white, creamy, and clumpy looking. The noodles had somewhat dissolved and were floating around. "Such...attention to detail. I'm almost impressed."

"Ugh, why did you have to open it? I'm going to flush that."

Izaya made no complaints as he handed it back carefully and Shizuo made it to the toilet to flush the contents down. He wasn't even sure if he was still hungry, but nothing could be worse than that!

But he was wrong.

"So do you want frog legs, escargot, pork in milk sauce, creamy broccoli, honeyed beetles, or cheese omelet," Izaya asked when Shizuo came over.

"Really?! What's with that? That's it?"

"Well, I'm having the chicken in wine sauce."

"Hey! Is there another of those in there?"

"There's just this one."

"Fine, give me the cheese omelet."

Shizuo ripped the top when Izaya handed it to him. The spelghetti smelled better than this shit! He immediately took it to the bathroom.

Shizuo was getting pissed and now the toilet smelled disgusting. He came back grumbling.

"Oh, these are all made in China!" Izaya said, "someone wanted to make what they thought of as fancy French foods, but obviously they didn't know the first thing about French cuisine."

"Made in China? But...," Shizuo really didn't see the point, "why? Why French food?"

Izaya chuckled. "Who knows? Maybe some idiot thought it was a good idea? Or they purposely sent him shit to eat."

Damn, then was anything edible? "The chicken thing too might be awful."

"Yes, probably." It definitely smelled sour when Izaya opened it.

" _That's a dick in my mouth!"_

Shizuo grimaced and looked around the screens, feeling his anger burn. "Who the fuck says that kind of shit! Really? Who's the asshole!"

"There's a ventriloquist on the island," Izaya murmured. "A murdering ventriloquist with a dick in his mouth!"

"Ah, fuck!" Shizuo wrinkled his nose. "You shut up too! Disgusting!"

"And how will you make me shut up?" Izaya asked as if he were genuinely curious and perfectly innocent.

"With my..." Shizuo almost said the first thing that angrily demanded to be said that he would undoubtedly regret if he did. He said the next best thing rather lamely, "...fist." Before Izaya could open his obnoxious mouth, 'cause damn him he already had this pleased look in his eyes, Shizuo cut him off. "I'm going to check again if there's more food. Damn it!"

He stomped to the supply closet.

Rearranging the boxes angrily and turning them over didn't allow any new foods to magically appear. All that was left in the closet Shizuo meticulously went through: laundry goods, rags, plastic plates, heaps of wooden chopsticks, a microwave, toilet paper, instant coffee, a sleeping bag, extra bullets, an electric teapot, maintenance tools, a large jug of hand lotion, and stacks of unopened tissue boxes.

"Fucking flea! Shitty parasite." Shizuo growled lowly as he knocked down the tissue boxes. He accidentally broke the shelf too. The boards collapsed onto a large plastic box tucked in the corner that was quietly humming. He pulled it out and opened the lid. It was a freezer with frozen foods. His first thought was ice cream. But he was disappointed a second later.

It was mostly frozen meat, fish, and microwaveable foods. Most of the contents were gone though and it was nearing the bottom. He pulled out the plug before he lifted it from the shelf and brought it out. "OK, there's this," Shizuo said and he put the icebox down near their chairs. "It's frozen food. There's also a microwave."

Izaya looked through the translucent packages that had frost on them. They all looked fully cooked.

"I suppose the fish will do," Izaya said. "That one." He was pointing to one that looked no better than the others, but Shizuo grabbed it before hoisting the ice box up and bringing it back to the storage closet. He opened the microwave and was about to stick the whole thing in, plastic included when he heard Izaya call out.

"Don't forget to take off the wrapper."

He almost threw the microwave at him! His hands were on both sides ready to do so. But then he saw some clean looking trays and set it up carefully now that he knew Izaya was probably watching.

It took some moments to figure out the defrost function, but he managed and he stood there for some minutes waiting before deciding on what he should eat. He picked the frozen meal with two fried chicken pieces, a side of rice, and vegetables.

The microwave dinged, and Shizuo inspected the fish before flipping it over with chopsticks. The pleasant smell of cooking fish filled the small space and his hunger grew. He waited impatiently for the remaining few minutes.

Once it dinged, Shizuo didn't bother checking it again and he put the fish on a plastic plate and grabbed a new pair of wooden chopsticks. "Here," he said before putting it down in front of Izaya and going back for his own meal.

He only poked holes in the plastic before putting it in, pressing the same function, and waiting for it to ding. It smelled pretty good as well and when it was completely ready, he was beginning to feel better.

He sat down next to Izaya and took a bite out of the fried chicken first. His taste buds had no complaints and Shizuo ate calmly, if not quickly. The inside was cold but he didn't care. Izaya picked at his fish, taking careful bites and watching the screens as he chewed.

Shizuo didn't look so that he could actually enjoy his meal. But he could still hear it all; the usual groans and occasional screams. He did look up when he heard, ' _well, that's a dick in my ass'_ but he angrily scanned the screens so that he could hate this guy. He didn't catch who it was and he ate the rest of his meal in mild annoyance.

" _You now have eight hours remaining. Good luck."_

That had come from his neck and Shizuo put his chopsticks down. Izaya did the same.

"Shit," Shizuo groaned. Eight hours wasn't a lot of time. Looking up at the screens, Shizuo tried to be serious now, determined to seek out the antidote.

Five minutes later, Izaya spoke. "I think my clothes are dry. I'll get it."

Honestly, he had no idea what he was looking for and most of the things he was forced to watch set him in a foul mood. People stuck in chairs, jerking in confines and screaming. Other people walking around the dark with sharpened sticks looking just about ready to piss themselves at the slightest crunch of leaves. Then there were the killers on the island, they were the ones with wicked eyes who moved along silently and efficiently like large stalking animals.

It didn't seem like anyone was looking for an antidote!

Soft padding footsteps behind him were slow going, not graceful as Izaya always was, but he looked more like himself with his ugly coat.

Shizuo decided to throw in his own pants in the washer and he cleared their plates before he did so. He picked up Izaya's empty mug and figured he'd make them both something. This time he didn't add any sugar to Izaya's coffee, realizing that of course, the flea was bitter so he wouldn't want sugar. Not that he himself was sweet since he liked sweet things, but because somehow the logic made sense to him.

The brown liquid sloshed as he handed it to Izaya. "It's good," was all he said, but it was probably a lie since he was sure Izaya had more expensive tastes. Shizuo drank his own cup of hot chocolate.

His pants didn't take long to dry and he heard the thudding stop. They cleaned better than he had expected them to, with staining but they didn't reek. He changed into them and kept the shirt, discarding the track pants on a rack.

A while later on the biggest screen, the black animal on the island stirred awake. It came down from a tree with black agile paws. It had a camera around its own neck. Izaya said that it was probably a black panther, either a jaguar or a leopard and that it was only a melanistic deviation of any _Panthera_ species, but Shizuo stopped listening as Izaya prattled on about it and how fast they ran.

Izaya's collar went off and he soon quieted down.

The island was quieting down as well and many of the screens switched to a green tinge that picked up more details in the dark: night vision cameras that were probably ridiculously expensive.

He drank a few more cups of hot chocolate, but he was beginning to feel a slow sinking irritation urging him to pace around the room like a caged animal. He sat there stiffly with his neck craned up.

It was hard to judge how the time passed, just that at intervals his collar would go off reminding him of the time. At one point, Shizuo watched as the partner Mura-san had teamed up with had collapsed in a stupor and Mura went about finding two rocks, wedged one flat rock behind the fallen man's head and then struck one rock into the other as if he were putting a nail in his neck. Shizuo stopped watching after that.

Izaya was mostly quiet beside him, but sometimes he commented. At other times Shizuo thought that the flea was sleeping since he would put his head down for a while, but then he'd stretch and continue.

Shizuo was just getting more anxious as the hours bled together. He was getting seriously tired of this, but he forced himself to watch for something.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya said suddenly, and he turned his attention away from the screens.

"What?" It came out roughly, but he was getting annoyed anyway.

"What's your type?"

"My type?" Shizuo asked with a frown.

"Yeah, what's your ideal type?" Izaya lifted his head from his arms. He looked tired with dark circles under his eyes.

"Of woman?"

"No," he said dryly. "Of monkey. But sure, what's your type of woman."

Shizuo bristled with anger. "What's it to you?"

"Nothing. Nevermind."

Silence filled the room, actual silence now that no one on the island was screaming. Izaya must have been bored if he was asking personal questions that Shizuo felt no desire to answer.

But he thought about it anyway since there wasn't much to occupy his mind.

"Kind, caring..." Just as he was saying it aloud, Shizuo realized that he shouldn't have. "and gentle..."

There was that stretch of silence again and Izaya grinned at him as their eyes met.

"I thought you'd say something like that. The typical ideal housewife," Izaya hummed in thought before continuing. "Though that innocent type is rare in modern day Ikebukuro, ne? It's too bad too since you'd break that kind of girl." His tone was light and mocking and it pissed Shizuo off.

"I wouldn't!" Shizuo snapped, cracking the cup in his hand. He set it down angrily. "I wouldn't." He spoke marginally calmer, "I know that already, too, so shut up!"

Getting violent would just prove Izaya right, and what Shizuo already knew because deep inside he knew he would end up hurting anyone he got too close to. One way or another he would mess up. It didn't matter anyway since it wouldn't happen. He wasn't going to hope for the impossible.

After that, neither of them spoke as the hours dragged on.

Hours and hours and hours of staring at the screens.

Hours of watching people kill each other.

Hours of feeling that numb sense of dejection grow.

He was tired of this. Being in this stuffy room was making his head foggy. He had a growing suspicion that they were wasting their time here. They were, weren't they?

Shizuo pinched the bridge of his nose.

" _You now have one hour remaining. Good luck._ "

"Fuck." Shizuo ran a hand down his face. He leaned forward in his chair. He had stiff shoulders and his neck hurt from looking up for nearly the entire night.

The flea next to him stretched in his chair. He didn't want to admit it yet, but after staring at this shit, wasting time, he knew it now. He was so tired of this. He couldn't waste his last hour on watching anymore.

"Hey." His voice was strained to his own ears. "Izaya."

"Hmm?"

"We're wasting our time, aren't we?" Shizuo tapped his fingers in agitation.

"Oh? And what gives you that idea?" Izaya sounded intrigued like he knew why but wanted Shizuo to say it.

It kinda pissed him off.

"It's been hours, I don't know, feels like forever, and there's...nothing...there's nothing here." Shizuo stopped tapping, pulling his hands to fists instead. He took a deep breath and let it out slow. "There is no antidote. There never was a fucking antidote."

A moment of silence passed but when Izaya spoke once more, he sounded resigned. Calm. "It took you long enough to figure this out. I've told you that from the start, but you didn't want to believe me."

Shizuo groaned. That's right, Izaya had said that there was no antidote before, but as usual, he had refused to believe him.

He sat back up, but instead of staring at the screens, he looked at the ceiling. Thinking that maybe some asshole was watching him now, he glared.

"The only way you can survive here is by killing someone." Izaya continued in that soft, lazy tone of his. "Everyone who wants to survive has done so by killing. It's a little late for you to start, but knowing you, it shouldn't be a problem to play catch up."

Play catch up? That didn't sit well with him.

Shizuo didn't respond. His eyes flicked down at the bottom screens where he partially saw the flea's reflection. Looking at him directly would only make him feel more like shit.

"We're pretty lucky there is another building what looks like an hour walk away with a few newcomers still stuck inside." Izaya was leaning on the armrest as he spoke. His words were making Shizuo feel wrong and sick. His muscles tensed. "They're only criminals. They're going to die anyway, so why don't you do the humane thing and kill them quickly. You can think about it like you're an executioner, delivering justice. It's not really murder if it's survival."

He wasn't feeling good, his stomach especially. Izaya's voice was sickly soothing, but it grated on his nerves like nothing else could.

"No one will have to know. Not back home. We'll get back, and no one will know. I won't tell anyone either. I've already taken someone's life. It won't be hard for you either. You'll get over it quickly." Izaya paused for a second. Deliberately it seemed. "This way we can get back home."

Home, huh? Yeah, as if.

"That's it," Shizuo said softly. "I'm done."

"...what's that?"

"I'm done. I can't anymore. I'm done. I'm fucking tired and I don't want to do this anymore."

"What? That's..." Izaya paused, "...it? You're just done?" He laughed to himself and it made  Shizuo feel even worse.

Shizuo turned in his chair, his palms were sweaty and he dragged them on his pants. He was so fucking tired. "I can't. I'm sorry. I-" the words were thick in his throat and he swallowed before speaking once more. "I know it sounds like I'm giving up, but I can't do this anymore."

"What about going home? What about your family? Kasu-"

Before he had even realized it, his fists had hit the control board, crunching metal loudly.

"DON'T- Don't say his name. I know. I know, all right! But he wouldn't want me coming home that way. He'd- He'd understand."

"Understand?" Izaya shook his head, mockingly. "He'll never understand because he'll never know what happened to his brother."

"Stop it. I know that. Stop it, fuck. This was a mistake. I shouldn't have dragged you this far." He could tell that Izaya was disappointed, but he didn't care. This had been his dumb idea, and he had been wrong. He had to own up to it now. "I don't know anymore, okay. I'm just done...with this."

"You're giving up." Izaya sounded even more disappointed. "This isn't something you can walk away from. It's a lethal injection designed specifically for you."

"Fuck, fuck, yes, I know. I _know_! I'll rip my collar off before it goes off and take my chances." He realized a second later that there wasn't anything then that he could do for Izaya. He could try the same thing...but the other Italian guy he had tried to break the collar for hadn't worked. It had only made things worse. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have ever agreed to anything with you when it was pointless from the start. What a dumb-as-shit thing to do. You were right."

"Yes, I'm surprised that we made it this far. I wanted to tell you that there was no antidote earlier, but that wasn't what you wanted to hear, now was it? You should be really thanking me. I've been helping you out all this time."

Shizuo looked up from his clenched hands.

"Yeah...thanks."

Shizuo felt his insides curl when Izaya laughed. "Ah, it was fun while it lasted."

He wouldn't call it fun, but then again, this was Izaya. Shizuo got the gut feeling that something wasn't right. He scrutinized that cold grin, and it annoyed him.

"So what are you going to do now?" Shizuo asked.

"Ah, maybe dig a nice grave for myself." Shizuo felt even more like shit. "Or I could go on a killing spree."

"You wouldn't." Not even Izaya's look of pity changed his mind.

"If I was going to, would you stop me before your time ran out?"

Would he? Yeah, he would probably die trying. But Izaya wouldn't. He was pretty sure about that. Not when it would all amount to nothing. "I don't think I would need to, not when you know it wouldn't be worth it. You wouldn't play into their game anyway. You're not a killer."

Izaya chuckled, he spoke as if this was a joke. "Ah, that's where you're wrong. I am a killer."

"Are you trying to pick a fight with me? Are you upset at me or something? Because If you knew there was no antidote, why the fuck would you stick around me for the last two days of your life?"

"Why?" Izaya broke out in laughter. "Are you _really_ asking me that?"

Shizuo knew. It was obvious too. "Of course I know. I know very well why. It's too bad, yeah, I was actually kind of starting to like you." His limbs were cold, but his core body temperature was rising too fast. "Hah, what a joke. Never should have believed in that last percent. This has only been a huge joke for you."

Izaya was sitting with his hands together. He was actually smiling. All the night's fatigue was rapidly becoming something dangerous and ugly.

"Amazing! You actually figured that out! And I thought I wasn't being obvious enough."

Shizuo knew what he was going to do next. He was going to crush Izaya. He'd smash his face into the screens and watch him bleed out. His fingers twitched wanting to do just that. He was about to take a deep breath, to scream Izaya's name when Izaya spoke.

"And you want to know the best part? I figured everything all out thirty minutes after we made our agreement."

Shizuo frowned, not quite understanding and getting even more frustrated. "What...what's that supposed to mean?"

"Yup, I've known just how to take these off from the beginning." Izaya pointed to the collar. "But it was so funny," Izaya smirked, "watching you make an idiot of yourself. That was enjoyable. I never lied now did I? Since there is technically no antidote. Ah, but you don't have anything that I could possibly want to convince me to tell you how—"

"You knew," Shizuo interrupted, his voice was oddly calm. "You knew this whole time?" The sinking feeling couldn't go any further, and the realization hit him surprisingly hard. He was close to snapping. His veins bulged, his muscles tensed as the control over his emotions was becoming too much.

That obnoxious laughter filled the room, and Izaya's shoulders shook as he leaned forward in his chair.

"Of course you did." Shizuo seethed. Why would he expect anything else? "I'm not even surprised. I've always known you're nothing more than a twisted, fucked up bastard." Izaya hated him. He had been trying to ruin his life ever since their first meeting. This was no different. That familiar rage that was incited by Izaya's mere presence reared up inside of him, promising undeniable anguish. "You fucking pest!" Shizuo roared. He was fucking livid. Angry at himself. So this had all been for nothing. Possibly his last two days alive wasted!

Before he could think otherwise, he was already moving. Izaya dodged the punch, and the chair went flying, embedding into the concrete wall. He moved to punch him again, and the flea stepped aside.

So Izaya wanted him to murder someone, well then he'd grant that wish right now.

"You'll regret messing with me when I kill you!" There was nowhere for Izaya to run. He went over to the monitors and pulled one out. The screen went blank instantly, cutting off the man sitting in the chair in another building. He threw it at the flea as hard as he could but missed by centimeters. The crash was loud as the building shook. water streamed from the cracks in the wall. "You said I just had to kill someone, huh, and that's how I can survive, right? Well, I don't mind taking your life!"

Shizuo caught the wide smirk on Izaya's face right before he caught that fur-trimmed coat. He didn't even flinch when the knife went into his chest a few centimeters deep. If he was someone else, he was sure that would have punctured a lung.

But Izaya definitely felt the hold on his bad hand.

He could easily rip out those stitches while he was at it.

"I should have done this yesterday." Shizu put enough pressure that he could hear a satisfying crack. But Izaya still hadn't screamed. Shizuo hadn't ever heard him scream not once since he first met him. That was certainly something he deserved after all of this.

The biggest screen cracked when Shizuo threw Izaya hard there. A couple of others went blank.

Before Izaya could get up, Shizuo punched that grinning face. More of the screens splintered. "I should have killed you yesterday when I woke up. I should have dropped that tree on your head. It would have saved me a lot of trouble!" He lifted him up by the front of his coat.

"Do you feel betrayed?" Voice mocking, and those eyes held malice.

Shizuo answered with a punch that sent him back into broken glass, and finally, he heard him gasp out in pain. But it wasn't enough. Not till he stopped grinning at him. Shizuo lifted his fist high in the air. This one he was sure would hurt. Make him regret all those years Shizuo wasted chasing him.

Can't be betrayed by an enemy. Shizuo had understood that it would most likely come down to this, but that didn't explain why he still felt hurt and stupid. Stupid for letting himself get played when he knew that Izaya would do this. Hurt and he didn't know why.

On second thought, he did. Because he thought maybe...no, what a stupid thing to believe. The flea was only rotten. He had been holding back his punches, but Shizuo's own fist hurt from how hard it was clenched. "I guess now's a good time to say goodbye, right."

"Can you really get rid of me?" Izaya's smirk was bloody and even more fiendish. "You can't, right? I'll haunt you till your last breath."

"You think I can't?" Shizuo laughed dangerously low. "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this. Gonna savor this."

The back of Izaya's head smacked loudly against the splintering screens. Finally, something loud and satisfying came from that vile mouth. Blood gushed out as his lip split at the corner of his lips.

Izaya covered his face and Shizuo easily grabbed that arm and pulled it up and smashed it down onto broken glass. "What's wrong, Izaya? Did you run out of all your knives?"

He didn't feel anything when Izaya tried to kick him in his stomach. It only made the flea drag his back slowly up towards the broken screens. Right up to where Shizuo saw his own face in the recording. Splintered thicker than the strands of a spider's web was his own enraged expression.

There was blood all across his cheek. A second later he realized it came from the screen. He really did look like a killer. Like everyone else on this island. He deserved to be here. He was something cruel, ugly, and loathsome.

The recording from Izaya's collar showed him for what he really was. What others saw him as; Shizuo despised it.

His hand went through the screen before he realized it, but dozens of his own reflection were breathing down angrily at him still. He didn't care that his own hand was cut, not when there already was blood there.

He really could have killed Izaya right then, like what he had always wished for.

The flea, with a twisted grin trickling blood, said, "do it, you monster."

But he didn't feel good anymore. He was sick. And it was all because of this louse. The rage simmered down to a bearable loathing. His fists clenched and hit the screen once more. Regret, that was it, he also felt regret. For the times he let Izaya play him like an idiot.

"All these years, I wasted my time getting angry over you. Letting you get to me." Shizuo leaned closer and Izaya tilted his head, observing him cruelly. "Should have just never given a shit about you. I've already wasted so much of my life on you, and for fucking what!"

Shizuo was breathing hard again, just trying to contain his anger before he snapped once more.

"I was too fucking stupid to just walk away. Too fucking stupid! I'm not making that mistake now. If I die, I want to live my last moments in peace. And I don't give a fuck about whatever you do."

Shizuo straightened up so that he could move away and look down at Izaya in disgust. "Yeah, you were never fucking worth it."

Izaya's eyes narrowed, but he continued to smirk. He strained to speak. "And you've only ever managed to disappoint me."

His whole body struggled not to react violently. But after everything he said, he couldn't give in. He couldn't stand seeing that bastard grin any longer. "Then that's that." Shizuo was already turning around. 

The metal door burst off its hinges when he kicked it. He climbed the ladder that smelled of paint and rust. He didn't bother breaking down the billboard blocking his way. It would only lead him back into the building. Shizuo broke the cement wall instead and he breathed in the cool, salt-tinged air.

It helped settle his raging nerves, and what was left was a hollow emptiness. The night sky was beckoning him forward, with hundreds of pretty stars.

Yes, this was better. This was how it was supposed to be. He chose to walk by the shoreline, needing to get away.

The lull of waves and soft rustling of leaves eased him to thinking that he had made the right decision. He continued on like this for some time, feeling the need to move forward while he still could.

_"You now have thirty minutes remaining. Good luck."_

"Ah, that's about enough time to finish these." Shizuo took out the beat up carton and lighter. He picked a sturdy looking tree with smooth bark to sit against. The light glow of flame showed the blood still caked on his knuckles and he put a pristine white cigarette in his mouth before lighting it.

When the countdown was over he'd pull the metal against his neck off. It really was his only option at this point. He probably should have done that from the beginning.

He blew the smoke from his mouth and watched it dissipate against the Milky Way. It would be nice to see one final sunrise. Ah, but that was impossible now.

He must have been taking too many deep drags since the cigarette was done too soon. He had five more to go.

His next cigarette was menthol flavored. He had kicked off his shoes and socks in order to feel the fine sand at his heels. He'd heard it before that there were more stars in the universe than grains of sand on the earth, but he had never believed it. Looking up now, he thought it possible.

" _You now have twenty minutes remaining. Good luck."_

Since he was a kid, he had been closer to death than most. He should have been killed by a many number of things since he had first gotten his strength. Maybe he had been lucky all of those times. Shizuo lit up another cigarette. No. He had never been lucky.

_"You now have ten minutes remaining. Good luck."_

A shooting star shot across the sky. He wondered why people made wishes on dying stars. Then again, people made wishes on birthday candles. Blowing out that light. Shizuo now blew out a string of smoke. He dug his cigarette in the cool sand next to him, where the other ashes and stubs were building up.

He didn't really believe in luck or wishes. That kind of stuff never really came true, not since he'd been wishing for the same things since he was a kid.

_"You now have five minutes remaining. Good luck."_

Even though he was by the ocean, it was oddly calm and still, only the softest of waves rolling in and out. The wind brushed pleasantly by. He had one remaining cigarette that he decided to save if he lived. Shizuo took a deep breath of fresh air.

It didn't really feel like the end was close. He felt oddly tranquil. Maybe he was just tired and wanted to go home. Back to his small apartment where it was just him and he was fine.

He was so tired of all of this. He closed his eyes and took in a few more deep breaths. His nose twitched. He desperately wanted to hang onto his peace till the very last, but Shizuo never was that lucky.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well shooting stars arn't actually stars but cosmic dust burning as it strikes Earth's atmosphere, but you get the point


	25. A Shot of Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the stretch of quiet there was no peace there.

' _You now have two hours remaining. Good luck.'_

His arms stayed spread out, and his left wrist continued to swell up from what was probably multiple fractures. It was too painful to move his back or his legs dangling over the edge. His head throbbed and he definitely had a concussion.

Yeah, that hadn't been what he wanted at all. It just ended up being a waste of time. No, it was more than a waste of time. A waste of time was something he could get over and live with. This was worse.

He blinked blearily at the ceiling to stay awake. The lines above his head merged and faded. If he closed his eyes too long then he might really fade out of consciousness, and then he'd be giving up like Shizuo, and as easy as falling asleep was the thought of it paralyzed him.

All he had to do was get the key out of his own back and slide it into his collar. Then he would be off the island and far away from here. But his body stayed against the control board listlessly. He knew he was punishing himself by staying. A part of him wanted to see it to the end while another part was determined not to look for Shizuo in the remaining working screens.

How long had passed since then? Probably a while judging by the water beginning to build on the floor. He would have to move if he didn’t want this to be his underwater grave, but his thoughts anchored him down more so than his battered body.

He replayed Shizuo’s fury in his mind. The violent beast directing all of his wrath on him. A fist red with his own blood poised to strike him. Teeth bared and eyes wicked. Izaya had felt the initial thrill, but with that inhuman contact with his bones, when any one of those punches could have killed him, that trill had quickly bled out of him.

Izaya had thought for sure that Shizuo would lose it completely after he revealed that he had known all along how to take off the collars. He also thought that he would have been okay with that painful execution as long as it corrupted Shizuo too.

Except that Shizuo had let him off easy. Seething rage turned to disgust was even more unbearable when Izaya was the only one allowed to feel disgust for that abhorrent creature.

This wasn't what he wanted. It hadn't been worth it. 

He'd been close to casting the final stain to the monster. He'd seen the monster just as it should have been. It should have worked. He didn't understand. It all added up wrong.

How was it that instead of hurting the monster, Izaya had only hurt himself? He'd said it before that the only one capable of breaking Orihara Izaya was himself. Maybe it had been a waste to try to hurt Shizuo because of that.

Lying there, the corner of his mouth pulled painfully as he grinned. His words were a quiet murmur. “Instead of killing each other, we only ever managed to slowly and deeply destroy ourselves.”

But it didn’t matter. Like a pitiful creature estranged from humankind, Shizuo would die without his peace. The poison in his veins would kill him and he’ll fall seething in helpless anguish because there was no way that even he could survive a lethal injection meant for fifty men.  
  
And Izaya will survive this.

He’ll go home and everything will be fine. Business will be better when he won't have to worry about things flying at him in Ikebukuro. The city will be much quieter. Yes, in a city filled with over thirteen million people, one wouldn’t make so much of a difference. His mocking grin turned to a grimace of pain. Ah, what a terrible lie. But he didn't have to ever visit Ikebukuro. There were plenty of other districts with other fascinating humans. When he couldn't muster any excitement of that idea, Izaya felt his frustration grow. He always wished for Shizuo's death. He ought to be celebrating.

There was no elation though, when this hadn’t been a victory. Not when he had been wrong.

_‘You now have thirty minutes remaining. Good luck.’_

The volume from the speaker was soft and Izaya tiredly moved to cover his face.

" _Ah, that's about enough time to finish these._ ”

An unexpected cold rush spread through his veins. The voice was too steady, too calm and resigned. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn't fair at all.

_‘I’ve always known that you're nothing more than a twisted, fucked up bastard.’_

"Don't care. Those words don't mean anything."

He could run away forever, but the past would never let him forget.

Stop.

“I won't let you haunt me. I won't let you be any more of a nuisance to my thoughts than you already are. You’re nothing to me. So leave me alone.”

Just thirty more minutes more and he can be free of him. He can't love the gravely remains of humans. They weren't human anymore. Shizuo will be the same. Just a bad memory. A waste of time.

_‘You were never worth it.’_

“This is pathetic. Now I'm hearing him in my head? Just die already."

‘ _And I don't give a fuck about whatever you do.’_

“You always end up doing whatever you want. So it’s only fair that I can too.”

He was determined to keep Shizuo’s voice from his thoughts.

In the stretch of quiet, there was no peace there. Izaya took deep breaths, trying to calm himself, but feeling lightheaded and cold.

He heard a voice in his mind as rough as it had been the other day.  _“I wasn't wrong about you."_

Had he known how much his words would kill him more than his hands? Shizuo had always been cruel. Cruel with his words and he never cared. “Die. Just die already.”

Shizuo's laugh was bitter in his mind. " _It's too bad, yeah, I was actually kind of starting to like you."_

Why had he said that? Ah, but there was no point in trying to figure it out now, was there? It wouldn't matter. He couldn't change what had happened. Going after him wouldn't be worth it, either. Shizuo would never like him. He had no reason to. Izaya had made sure that there could only be hate between them.

But...

All the years they spent didn’t have to mean nothing.

And either way, he wouldn’t see him ever again. When they will return to Ikebukuro, Izaya will leave Shizuo alone, and he'll make sure their paths never cross again.

“Just this once, I won't let you be right about me.” He moved, muscles protesting and feet nearly giving way. The water reached his heels. “I won’t lose to you.”

Shizuo wasn’t in any of the screens. The biggest one had been splintered with fist-sized craters, but among the cracks of the screen, he saw himself. The control board had dents and blood. Resting against the floor was the black bag, and Izaya grabbed it before plucking the charged two-way radio and putting it in there. He picked up his last remaining folding knife from the wet floor. From what he had added throughout their stay into the black bag, the weight was heavy as he slung it over his shoulder.

Water splashed by his feet as he staggered towards the exit. Whatever Mura had given him yesterday had begun to taper off during the night, but he was still incredibly weak. Reaching the metal ladder, he gripped one of the bars with his one working hand and sagged down to breathe tiredly before straining his muscles as he forced his first steps up.

He rested his head against a bar as he paused. He was shaking too much. If he wasn’t careful he’d fall. Wouldn't it be pathetic if he couldn’t even get out the building? If he didn’t make it in time?

The last thought sent a cold shiver down his back and Izaya pulled himself up along the ladder. When he reached the top, he collapsed to the floor, one leg still over the ledge and his breaths coming in harsh pants. A soft breeze rustled his hair and with it came the smell the ocean. The sweat forming on his back cooled in the night air.

He turned his head and saw the hole Shizuo had made and through that was the ocean and black sky. He could just make out tracks in the sand. His arm slid against grains of sand and cement as he pushed himself up all the way to stand.

He’d run if he had to, but the first uneven step sent him to the ground. A dizziness tilted the world around him and Izaya gripped the sand and dug his hand into it slowly.

Sweat trickled down his hair. He had to close his eyes tightly just to ground himself.

At this rate, he’d just pass out. He hadn’t been able to fully exit the building either. He laid there till he was no longer panting and the world wasn’t spinning. He got up slower this time, more steady. His feet dragged in the sand as he walked, following Shizuo’s footprints one after the other.

Shizuo had taken long strides but it was a punishing pace to match.

As long as Shizuo kept to the beach...as long as he had stopped when he had said that it would be enough time to finish these, these being his cigarettes, then Izaya had a chance to find him. But it was equally possible that Shizuo had just decided to smoke and walk, and if that were the case then it would be impossible to catch up to him.

He checked his phone, slid it from his pocket and allowed the light to wash over his front and make him dizzy once more from the brightness of it. He only had sixteen minutes left.

Izaya pushed himself harder, ignoring the throbbing pain at the back of his head and the way his hand was radiating a searing stabbing all along his left arm.

Every so often he’d check his phone, seeing the time slip away as he knew he was walking too slowly. He really might not make it and he swore under his breath.

“If you die before I get there, I’ll never forgive you." Izaya took a shuddering breath and tasted the blood at the corner of his mouth.

His back ached with each step and Izaya had to concentrate on his breathing or else he’d buckle over and give up. The next time his phone buzzed, reminding him of his critically low battery, Izaya saw that there were only eight minutes left before Shizuo's time would be up. His phone shut off soon after with a soft-sounding swoosh as it died in his hand. He stuffed it in his pocket.

His heart rate sped up. There was an unfamiliar weakness in his movements. The cuts caking against his back and coat reminded him that he was suffering from blood loss. 

The footsteps that he had been following veered to the right suddenly and Izaya looked up trying to see around the trees. Sand turned to dirt, and it was impossible to see further than the scattered trees. Izaya rested against a palm tree, his heartbeats throbbed painfully in his head.

He really wouldn't make it in time. He dropped down to the base of the tree not even caring the way his back hit the bark. The dizziness was overwhelming.

Hearing muffled steps, Izaya lifted his head slowly. Perhaps he was hallucinating as Shizuo stood over him, looking as displeased as ever to see him. Out of habit, he grinned.

“You didn't have enough, did you? You won't stop till I break your legs and fling you into the ocean. Shit, that still wouldn't be enough for you, huh, flea?"

“We had a deal,” Izaya said as he rested his head against the flaking bark. “Even if you don't believe me, I'll still tell you.” He didn't wait for Shizuo to respond, knowing how little time he had. “To open the collar there are keys on the island, the same keys that you found earlier and I said were for opening safes—”

_‘You now have four minutes remaining. Good luck._

Izaya shuddered, licked his cracked lips, and tried to speak quicker.

“It’s in our backs. I just don't know which one works for whom if yours opens mine or yours. You can take mine out first if you want." He closed his eyes tightly. "Chuck it into the ocean if it doesn't fit yours.”

Izaya sat up straighter as he continued to breathe tiredly and he held up his last folding knife in his palm, the blade tucked in the handle.

“You can choose,” Izaya said as he finally met Shizuo's eyes. He couldn't quite read his expression in the dark and for a paralyzingly second he thought that Shizuo would choose to walk away.

“You’re an idiot,” Shizuo muttered before he bent down, squatting so that they were level. “Which do you think is more likely the right one?”

“Both are probable, but what the game makers I think would rather see is a lot of backstabbing. The riddle said look inwards, but that’s not necessarily your own body. Also, that guy said to look back, but not over your shoulder...please just pick something quick.” He took a shallow breath, his vision tilted, and the knife almost dropped to the floor.

“Then you can cut it out of my back first.”

“What?” But Shizuo was already turning around lifting the shirt from his skin in one smooth motion. “But...”

“You said both were probable, and I already hurt your back enough. It's only fair that you do something to me.”

The knife almost fell from his hand. He stared hard at Shizuo’s bare skin as the man waited for Izaya to make the first cut.

_‘You now have three minutes remaining. Good luck.’_

He didn't have time to argue over this when Shizuo had already decided. His knife flicked open and he lifted both his hands, though his left was useless. He felt along his spine, not quite able to see where the thin line of the scar rested. His fingers passed over a line thin enough to be a paper cut. It was parallel to the spine, higher than his mid-back, and embedded in muscle.

He traced the edge of that scar with the blade, and could cut his skin alright, but he couldn't push past muscle as hard as stone. He gripped the knife harder, jabbing it more recklessly.

“Shit,” Izaya whispered as he still couldn't make a deep enough cut. “Relax your back, I can't cut anything!” The blood ran down the open cut thinly. He tried to dig his fingers beneath the skin, but he didn't feel any key.

He was becoming more lightheaded, the smell of salt, dirt, and blood was too strong. Sweat trickled down his hair unnoticed in the humid night.

_‘You now have two minutes remaining. Good luck.’_

He put his weight down on the knife, and now he had the frightening thought that the knife would snap.

“I said to relax!”

“I am! I don't feel a thing you're doing!”

Izaya lifted the knife and drove it down hard. It sunk in a few centimeters down and Shizuo stiffened up. It took some effort to pull it out and once he did, Izaya brought his knife down again. Soon he pushed his thumb inside, digging in deep like a parasite worms its way through flesh.

It was there.

His nail brushed against bone and metal and Izaya fished it out. His hand was shaking as he lifted the thin, flat key slick with blood.

As he brought it to the collar, bumping it around till he found the indent, Shizuo’s collar sounded.

_‘You now have one minute remaining. Good luck.’_

Izaya twisted the key angrily, moving it in both directions but the collar stayed on. He slipped the key out.

“Wrong key,” he said breathlessly before he shed his coat from his shoulders, letting it pool around his waist as he turned to face the tree and let his forehead rest against the bark. He held out the knife for Shizuo and braced himself for the knife tip.

“What am I supposed to be looking for? Your back is littered with bruises and cuts.”

Izaya’s eyes widened and he felt along his skin over the sweeping bruises and cuts that marred his once pristine back.

If he recalled correctly, from two days ago, it should be similar to where he made the cut in Shizuo’s own back.

“There!” He pointed, his finger still covered in Shizuo’s blood as he left a wet trail over where the key was.

_‘You now have thirty seconds remaining. Good luck.’_

The knife dragged through his skin, and Izaya knew right away it wouldn't be deep enough. “Deeper,” Izaya gasped. “You need to cut through muscle.”

“You’re a stick. If I go too far I’m going to break the back of your rib cage.”

_‘You now have twenty seconds remaining. Good luck.’_

It hurt feeling the slow precise knife burrowing into his back. He hissed and shut his eyes. The flow of blood spilled across his skin, and Izaya’s head pounded as he held still.

_‘You now have ten seconds remaining. Good luck.'_

He forced himself not to arch away as fingers dug into him. Shizuo’s other hand, warm and steady, rested at his side, holding him up.

_‘You now have five seconds remaining. Good luck.’_

Shizuo was remarkably gentle when Izaya would have preferred him to just yank the key out.

‘- _Four-’_

 _‘-Three_ -’

He couldn't stop from groaning as Shizuo finally found the edge of the key, easing it out, and with it blood streaming down his back. The countdown played in his ear, drumming down and throbbing like his head.

‘- _Two-_ ’

The slippery key was placed in his hand and Izaya immediately spun around-

 _‘Game over_.’

-jamming it into the metal, and having it slip off center before connecting. Something clicked.

He turned the key and this time felt the lock recognizing the key and the collar came apart. A high pitch hiss of air escaped from it and Izaya threw the collar as far as he could.

He didn't realize how hard he was breathing as Izaya sagged against Shizuo’s back, completely exhausted with the adrenaline coursing through his system. “Shit,” he gasped.

He had almost not made it. As he felt Shizuo’s chest rise and fall, he noticed that he hadn't been the only one breathing shallowly.

“You okay?” Izaya asked.

"Yeah..." His breath and words were in tatters as he spoke. “Just give me a moment.”

He felt like laughing shakily. He lifted his head. “Did any get in you?”

At Shizuo’s neck there was blood welling up from a prickle the size of a needle point. Izaya slowly moved on his knees, going over dirt and roots so that he could face Shizuo.

He looked incredibly tense, the muscles in his neck taut, and his face flushed. He was concentrating on breathing normally. Only ten seconds had passed and he was already like this.

Izaya knew right away that the poison circulating through him now was highly concentrated and lethally potent. If he had waited a second longer... more like he had been a second too late. But that was because the countdown had no final one.

“Shizu-chan, I'm going to get help. We’ll be out of here soon.”

Shizuo lifted heavy eyelids, but he wasn't looking right at him before his head lowered. His breathing was becoming more ragged.

Searching the ground, Izaya spotted the key that was still wet from Shizuo’s blood. He picked it up and reached behind his neck to slot it in. The collar flashed green and opened up instantly.

_‘Congratulations, Orihara Izaya. You have finished the first task. You worked hard. Now to get off this island you will need to collect eight more undamaged collars. There is no time limit. Good luck.’_

He sat there in momentary shock, an ill dread chilling him. “The _first_ task...” He should have known. Shit. He should have _known_ this wouldn't be the end. Such a gross miscalculation...all because he had been so focused on bringing Shizuo down.

Izaya dropped the collar as Shizuo dropped to the ground. Cast in the moonlight that trickled through the leaves, he was slumped over on his side, his chest moving in slow shallow breaths, bare skin alive with color.

The two-way radio was pulled from the black bag, and Izaya pressed down on the talk button.

He hated the way his throat felt like it was closing up. He didn't sound like himself, he had to pause and clear his throat. “I know you can hear me. I know someone's there. I believe we could work out an offer."

Izaya knew it was pointless, he knew what these men wanted, to watch this monster...no to watch this human with impossible strength die. The point of this island was to watch them all die. But Izaya still spoke because words were all he had.

"If it's money, information, or certain goods, then I'm sure we could negotiate something mutually beneficial if you get this man off the island."

He listened for any response and the static played dully.

He closed his eyes tightly before speaking, disgusted as he recalled how a good number of them were perverse bastards. “Or perhaps if money or valuables don't interest you then I'm sure we can agree on something more inclined to your particular interests."

He listened helplessly for any response and none came. They were probably laughing somewhere safe behind their screens, eating this up and entertaining the ideas Izaya had given them and enjoying it more as his desperation grew.

His anger reared up, making him shake as the flat static played. Pissed too because that countdown had been bullshit.

“If you bastards don't come here now I promise that I’ll make you suffer in ways that'll make this island look like a joke.”

He waited one last time for anything other than static. He already wasted enough time on this. He put the device down, still on in case miraculously someone changed their mind.

He drew near Shizuo, not letting the fact of how still the other man was get to him. How unnaturally quiet and subdued he had become, and Izaya touched his shoulder, rolling him so that he lay face up and away from any tree roots.

“Hey...”

His chest was barely moving.

Pressing two fingers against his neck, Izaya counted each time he felt an infrequent pulse. It wasn't enough.

He sat on his knees, perpendicular to Shizuo and keeping his arm straight, he placed the heel of his wrist against his sternum measuring the distance with a quick eye.

He didn't know how effective one hand compressions would be, but he did it anyway.

A hundred beats a minute, right? A steady quick rhythm. He began to press down. He wondered if it was strong enough. His arm tired quickly. After counting to thirty, he paused tilting Shizuo’s damp forehead back and lifting his jaw so that his mouth stayed open.

Izaya hoped that each inhale and exhale would make whatever poisonous gas in him leave his system fastest. It could be any suffocating kind of poison. Maybe carbon monoxide since that was odorless and colorless, an undetectable poison that in high concentrations could make a man go unconscious within two breaths and die in minutes. Or it could be something worse, a combination of many substances that would ensure a painful death.

Izaya pinched Shizuo’s nose before taking in a deep breath and sealing his mouth over his, breathing out slowly and watching his chest rise.

From his lips, he drew back, careful not to breathe too closely or else the poison would affect him too. He breathed into him twice more, his own forceful breaths caused him to go dizzy.

He didn't allow himself to feel anything. He needed to concentrate. He counted the beats in his head and made sure to breathe out slowly and then suck in a deep breath of the clean air tasting of ocean and jungle.

He didn't think about the lingering taste of cigarettes or of the dull static that continued to play a steady flat line.

If he wasn't careful any one of these breaths could knock him out, and then no one could keep Shizuo from death. His arm ached as he continued to do compressions, watching the way Shizuo still looked warm and alive as if he would open his eyes any second.

He didn't let his throat close up with a heavy lump when his arm burned and sweat trailed down his chin and dropped down.

His mouth went over Shizuo’s. He was a breath away from taking the same poison that could kill him. As he flirted with death, he recalled for a second time what murder felt like.

_Your guilt will be your past and that will be your God._

His own words mocked him. Instead of Shizuo killing him and that stigmatizing Shizuo forever, now it would be Izaya's.

He had never been afraid of heights because he had no reason to fear falling. But this weightlessness and sinking felt a lot like he had taken the wrong step from a rooftop, and now he wasn't sure if he'd end up in broken pieces. Because killing felt a lot like he was the one choking. It dug a deep-rooted dread in him when he was sure he could already feel the cracks.

Then he laughed.

“Ah, I never got to say goodbye, now did I?” Even if Shizuo couldn't hear, this might be the last time he could say something to him, even to apologize. He frowned because he couldn't bring himself to say it when he wasn't willing for this to be the end. That just meant he’d continue for as long as he could.

Though his arm became numb from searing pain, Izaya continued pressing into Shizuo, feeling his warm chest and warm mouth under him.

Izaya wouldn't let Shizuo die, even if it’d kill him.  


	26. Numb Skulls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The toughness under cool, ashen skin.

He couldn’t move, that was the first thing he realized when he sluggishly came to.

Everything from his limbs to his eyes felt as if he had been dipped in concrete, a full body cast, like all the times when he was still young and his bones would crack under his own strength and he’d be stuck in a hospital bed for days, hating what he’d done and knowing how much of a problem he was for his family.

He wondered how much longer until his body decided to get up. Or had it finally broken after all of these years? It sure felt like it.

He couldn’t so much as move a finger. Ah...maybe he was buried alive. That would explain it. Being compressed under layers of dirt and unable to escape his own body. Or maybe he was dead, and death was an eternity of...this. If so, then he probably deserved it.

Alone in his thoughts and alone in his head.

A brush of wind met his skin. Ah, so he was alive. The poison hadn't killed him. But his eyes felt too heavy to open, and now that he was waking more, a splitting headache was making itself known. Sleep would be nice.

Yeah, after all the entire island had been nothing more than a nightmare. Sleep would be bliss. Except.

Shit, wait...where was Izaya?

With a lingering intake of air, he smelled the ocean and plant life, and then the flea stench that didn't get on his nerves. 

So they were still on the island, huh.

Another draft of wind picked around him. This time he felt the chill and a warm nudge atop his chest.

It took more effort than it should for his eyes to crack open to the brightness of day. Still, this was better than what he could last recall when his sight turned to shit, with black dots clouding his vision. There was an overhanging of green leaves blurring together as his eyesight swirled and shifted, focusing on a looming black shape. A few seconds later his senses sharpened. It was Izaya sitting next to him, dozing off by the looks of it. His head was hanging forward and it looked like at any moment he would nod to sleep or pass out on top of him.

The warmth on his chest was Izaya’s hand, and Shizuo couldn’t have slapped it away even if he wanted to. It was way too much to process in his foggy head.

He closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.

A sharp series of bird calls awakened him as two birds picked a tree branch to fuss over. There was no longer a warmth over his chest. He opened his eyes, searching, and to his right was Izaya sitting with his knees up and his head resting in his arms.

Something was itchy and he saw a fat beetle crawling over his stomach. Shizuo made to flick it away but his arm lifted before flopping down tiredly. He let the beetle cross his stomach and continue on its way.

Izaya stirred from the movement with a knife in his grasp faster than Shizuo could blink. Izaya scanned their surroundings before settling on Shizuo. Their eyes met. Shizuo had never seen the flea look so tired as his eyes went from sharp to wide before leveling somewhere in the middle.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Izaya held up a hand and Shizuo frowned as he looked at the peace sign Izaya was giving him.

He tried to get a feel for his mouth and now that his tongue moved he could taste something awful.

“Ta-.” His voice was hoarse, but he could say words in between his breathing. “Tas-tes...like...sh-it” He tried to lift a hand to wipe his mouth, but it was too much effort and he gave up with his hand on his chest, where Izaya’s had been when he had first woken up.

That same hand lowered to his shin and poked him.

“Feel that?”

Shizuo could. He wondered why he was so sore.

“Yeah,” he said slowly as Izaya prodded him harder. “Stop.”

“Can you move your leg?” His foot twitched which seemed to be all Izaya was looking for. “Hmm. I thought for sure that your one brain cell would be fried. But lucky you.”

“What...”

“Happened?” Izaya finished for him and watched as Shizuo blinked lazily back at him. “You got a dose of poison in you and blacked out. I took off my collar, but finding the antidote was only the first part of their game. The second is to collect eight more of these collars. Oh, and they can't be damaged.”

Shizuo groaned when Izaya paused. “Fuck.” The syllables were drawn out. “Fucking...bastards.” He’ll kill them. Once he finds those bastards he’ll break their arms and fling them to the ocean.

Izaya was looking at him tiredly and Shizuo realized that he probably stayed up the entire time. “How...long?”

“How long what? How long do we have to find the rest of the collars or how long were you out for? Because the next task has no time limit. And my phone died so I can't say for sure how long you’ve been out for. But I'll say it's afternoon now.”

He was actually surprised that the flea had decided to stick with him through the night into the morning. But he really shouldn't be, not after Izaya had come back for him even after Shizuo had beat him up.

Shizuo looked at the visible purple and red along his face and he felt a tinge of guilt for doing that. Shit, he'd almost killed him. If he had gone through with killing the flea, then he had a feeling that he’d probably have died too. Even if he had ripped off his collar, he wouldn't have made it. He couldn’t remember much after the injection.

Izaya didn't have to come back for him...so why did he?

“Hey,” Shizuo took in a deep breath, “why’d you...come back?”

“I already said that we had a deal.” Izaya looked away towards the trees surrounding them.

Shizuo was definitely unsatisfied with that, but he really didn't want to argue about it and get an even worse headache.

“And now that I’ve done my end of the deal, it’s about time we went our separate ways.”

His heart rate faltered painfully as it sped up. Before he could so much as open his mouth, Izaya was sparing him a bored glance.

“Oh, don't look so surprised. I'm doing you a favor. I won't be of much help for this next task and you have no need to feel obligated to stick around me. If we continue on as we are we’ll have to collect 18 collars. It will be much faster if we split up and frankly I'm tired of babysitting you. It’s for the best really. Even you know that...”

Shizuo frowned and his jaw clenched tightly. Izaya continued on.

“We don't work well together and we almost killed each other, right? I know for a fact you don't really want to be around me. So let’s just make this easier for the both of us and part ways now.”

It seemed rehearsed and Shizuo felt a pang of annoyance. He didn't even need to think that hard about his answer.

“No.”

“This isn't open for discussion.”

Shizuo’s entire body was protesting violently against him as he forced himself to sit up. He ignored it. “You’re tired. You’re not thinking straight.”

Izaya grinned as if what Shizuo said was hilarious. “I guess I was wrong,” Izaya chuckled, “maybe you did fry your only working brain cell.”

“Stop that. Just...stop.” Shizuo clenched his fists and welcomed the burn from his muscles. “What the fuck, flea. If you wanted to leave then why didn't you just leave earlier? Why wait? Just to piss me off, right? Is that it?”

“I thought you would be happy to get rid of me.” Izaya's grin was too sweet to be real. 

Fuck! Maybe it was better that they separate. Izaya obviously wanted to go. So why should he be the only one who cared?

Shizuo dragged a hand through his hair as he felt his headache throb angrily.

He really had no obligation to put up with the flea. What Izaya said made sense, even if it didn't sit well with him. And fuck did he need a break from the pest and his never ending mind games.

But...

But he didn't like this because he had the gut feeling that if Izaya left now then this would be the last time he would ever see him, and that really didn't make him happy as it should. He was frustrated beyond belief.

“No. I won't be happy. I'll be pissed.”

Izaya shook his head pityingly.

“That’s too bad then.”

Izaya stood up and leaned against a tree with his elbow as he looked down at Shizuo.

Shizuo would have stood if he could. But he could barely sit up let alone stand.

“I'm leaving you your collar,” Izaya said as he reached in the black bag and took from it the shiny metal collar and dumped it on the ground. “Don't follow me.” Izaya stepped back from the tree, turned, and took a few slow steps away.

“Stop being a pain!” Shizuo yelled as he put some weight on his arms to get up and just didn't have the strength to do it. Of course, Izaya would go when he couldn't fucking even get up!

He reached into his pocket, pulled out his lighter and last remaining cigarette, and he glared hatefully at Izaya’s retreating form as he flicked his lighter on. That awful taste was still in his mouth and Shizuo couldn't think straight. With the cigarette dangling from his lips he lit the end and breathed in.

He looked back up just as the flea had turned to face him, his expression angry as he stormed back. Shizuo watched dumbly as Izaya came closer and snatched the cigarette from his mouth before throwing it to the ground and crushing it under his heel.

Shizuo was too dumbfounded to even be angry as Izaya gave him a look of absolute anger. “You almost suffocated, you moron! You almost killed yourself by smoking all of those disgusting cigarettes last night, putting carbon monoxide in with your red blood cells and then being injected with more suffocating chemicals. You stopped breathing! You know how long I-”

He stopped suddenly as he was breathing too hard. He swayed, teetered to the side as if he were about to fall, but then he caught himself on a tree.

Shizuo watched all of this in amazement as Izaya tiredly fell back against the tree and sat down in exhaustion. “You...stupid, ungrateful protozoan.”

Stopped breathing? But that didn’t necessarily mean...? Izaya would just watch, right? He wouldn’t bother with... _that?_

Shizuo ran his tongue over the roof of his mouth and there was that taste. He really should have realized earlier. Damn, it was a good thing he was unconscious for that. Shizuo reached over and grabbed one of Izaya’s ankles. Izaya glared at the hand holding him back before he realized what Shizuo was doing. His foot didn't budge as Izaya attempted to draw his leg out.

“Who’s the stupid one now, Izaya?”

Izaya closed his eyes and rested his head back. He was still breathing unevenly, and Shizuo only felt a little bad.

“It’s too bad for you that you didn’t leave earlier, huh.”

Izaya opened his eyes and stared up through the trees. Shizuo watched as he licked his bottom lip that was swelling at the corner. There was a dark line through it as well as spots of dried blood where Izaya had tried to wipe the blood from his face.

Izaya continued to ignore him. He was too pale and too sick.

Shizuo then remembered that Izaya was pretty bad off from their last fight. There had been blood over the screens and from the back of his head. His wrist had cracked. 

“Hey? You all right?”

The response didn't come right away, but when it did it sounded tired.

“You’re not going to let me go, are you?”

Shizuo tsked. “I’ll drag you by your hair, screaming bloody murder if I have to."

“I really hate you,” Izaya muttered, but he must have really been too exhausted since his words were lacking in spite.

“Yeah, so what. Hate me all you want.” Shizuo said. There was a moment of silence and he tried to gauge just how badly Izaya was. “Did you patch yourself up?”

Izaya shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, as if I can sew up my own back.”

“Well, do you still have the sewing kit then?” Shizuo forcibly dragged Izaya closer, and Izaya shot him an annoyed look though he seemed too drained to fight back anymore.

“You want to sew me up?” Izaya scoffed quietly as he reached in his pocket before pulling it out. “How disgusting. Once I have the chance I’ll rip it all out.”

“Good,” Shizuo said in annoyance, “‘cause then that’ll be after we're off this shitty island.”

Izaya paused for a moment as if he would change his mind, but then he got the hand sanitizer from the black bag, opened the kit, cut a decent amount of string with his teeth, and ran the string over carefully with hand sanitizer, though a lot of the clear gel fell off. He dropped the hand sanitizer down and Shizuo picked it up and put some in his own hands. Izaya then handed him the needle.

“Sterilize it first, and try really hard not to make a bigger mess.” He carefully peeled off his coat. The wounds had dried to the material and Izaya hissed as he pulled it from his skin. The blood ran anew.

Shizuo tied one end of the thread then put the string through the needle hole. He wasn’t sure which wound to do first. He picked up his discarded shirt and wiped some of the blood away.

He then began to sew up the cut he made last night digging the key from his back. It seemed to be the ugliest wound. His stitching was nowhere near as clean and tidy as Izaya’s, but it would hold.

Izaya was quiet through most of it, but Shizuo could see just how tense he was. Each time he lightly touched the pale skin with hands or needlepoint, Izaya reacted the same in the barest of flinches.

Besides the main cut parallel to his spine, there were two other wounds that looked like glass cuts. Probably from when he’d thrown him into the screens. The back of his head looked like it had drying blood and when Shizuo lightly touched the tender skin behind blood dried hair, Izaya really did flinch back. There was a nasty bump there.

“Stop jabbing me,” Izaya grumbled as he slipped his coat back on.

Shizuo tore part of his borrowed shirt off into a nice strip. “I'm going to wrap your head, all right?”

Izaya tsked but he didn't move away. Shizuo made sure not to press on anywhere too much. He wrapped the cloth around twice before tying it. All that was left was his wrist...the hand that had been recently sewn up just for Shizuo to fuck up again.

“How’s your left hand?”

“Still attached,” Izaya said dryly. “Though just barely.”

Now Shizuo really felt like crap. “Really?”

He looked down where he could see fingers hidden behind a fur cuff.

“It’s probably a fracture in one or two of the carpal bones. Can't say for sure without X-rays.”

When Izaya turned with his sleeve collected at his elbow, revealing the swelling purple and indigo wrist, Shizuo didn't know if he should feel relieved.

He had been imagining something akin to a crushed pole bent in an awkward direction, instead, there was his dark handprint on a wrist that was a little crooked. Shizuo studied it with a frown. The ring that he’d seen from time to time on Izaya’s finger was gone. Probably to avoid it being stuck from swelling. “Can you, uh, set it back or something?”

“Of course I thought of that,” Izaya mare a face. “But that just might risk it getting worse. I don’t know for sure if anything is crushed or if the fracture is displaced or not. Either way, I won't be able to use it.”

Izaya felt along the tender skin, wincing at certain areas.

Shizuo had fractured a lot of bones in his body, including his wrists, and he really wished that he had paid enough attention when the doctors put him back together and had fixed him up, though every single time the doctors had wrapped up his hand in a cast or bandages they had kept it in a sling. Shizuo picked up the bloodstained shirt and tore it in half first and cut another strip.

“Maybe if it’s kept in a sling and bandaged up, it’ll be enough.”

“As if,” he grumbled, but he didn't move his wrist away when Shizuo lightly wrapped his hand securely and then used the rest of the shirt to hold his arm in a makeshift sling with the ends tied at the back of his neck.

Shizuo thought it looked good all considering, especially now that he couldn't see the purple bruises. “Done,” he finally said and scooted back so that he wasn't too close, but close enough that he could grab Izaya if he decided to run. But Izaya just looked too tired. “You can rest now, you look like you might just drop dead.” He frowned when he realized what he had thoughtlessly said but he didn't bother correcting himself and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Mmhmm.” Izaya met his eyes for a second before he turned away from Shizuo. “Right.” Now that he had the sling there, he was careful as he got down on his side. He placed his switchblade by his hand and fidgeted for a bit before laying still.

Shizuo didn't want to be a creep and watch him sleep so he looked around the trees. The area looked different than at night, and as he looked some more, he got the impression that maybe it was different and the flea had dragged the both of them here. Not too far, just enough to be better under the cover of trees.

His breathing began to even out. Shizuo then rummaged in his pocket and found the small bottle of super glue. His wound hadn’t completely closed and Shizuo made sure the remaining skin fastened together.

Slowly as the hours passed, Shizuo regained more and more of his leg’s mobility.

He became hungry, then thirsty. In the black bag that was resting by the tree, he found the empty plastic bottle and then the last remaining snack, the sesame one that they had never finished. He tried to hold off on not eating that, but after some time he ate it and put the wrapper quietly in the bag.

Izaya would sometimes move in his sleep, snore slightly, or be completely still. Through all of this Shizuo mostly listened to the ocean waves and relaxed as the sun’s rays streamed through the trees, lighting up parts of his skin.

He'd been thinking about Izaya always stirring up shit and running off. He was trying to figure out why, and in his frustration, while the birds moved away and the bugs crawled silently, Shizuo spoke his thoughts aloud.  
  
“Always running away, huh flea. Such a nuisance. Didn't anyone teach you that you can't run away from the messes you make or your problems? Is that it?" He picked apart a dead leaf and it crumbled to pieces. A few moments later he spoke again. "What a pain! Yeah, so what is it? Are you running away from me? Huh? Or is it from yourself? Well, whatever it is, maybe you can't change 'cause that’s what fleas do.”

He sat there longer enjoying the gentle breeze and his musing returned to the flea as he glanced at his back.

“But you want to know what? I don't think you’re the scum of the Earth. Well, you’re still scum, but not the vilest. There are far worse people than you. Maybe when we’re off the island I'll tell you.”

He chuckled lowly.

“Though probably not.”

Hours later with the beginning of the setting sun, Izaya began to stir and it might have been because of Shizuo's stomach making itself known. Izaya looked over, his face still sleepy and grumpy from being woken up, like a disgruntled cat poked from its slumber and completely disbelieving that it woke up at all for such an inconceivable reason. Or maybe that was his normal waking up face?

Shizuo scowled and looked away. He figured that he had mused enough.

Izaya scratched at his leg. “Feels like I got bit by something.” He lifted his pants cuff a bit and at his ankles were a few red marks. “Ugh. I feel itchy all over now.”

“Really? I didn't get bit at all.”

“Of course you didn’t. You have leather for skin. Like an elephant or a rhinoceros.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Shizuo said as he picked himself up, now able to move well enough already. “My skin isn't grey.”

“I'm not saying it's grey. I'm saying it’s tough.”

“Okay, fine, whatever. Can you stand?”

Izaya carefully sat up straight before he got up. He winced just slightly and if Shizuo hadn't been watching then he would have missed it.

He reached down to pick up the black bag. “You all right to walk or what?”

He took a few steps, but it was pretty obvious that it looked like it hurt. Probably pulled on his stitches when he moved or his back muscles were hurt. “I can probably make it to the building we were in yesterday.”

“You want to go back?” Shizuo wasn't all too eager to go back where he had beaten Izaya against the monitors. But then again food was there. And water.

“Yeah, that's where we left the guy, you remember, right.? He has a collar and we should probably get it today before the helicopters come in and do a sweep of the island. They didn't do it last night so maybe they will tonight.”

Shizuo swallowed thickly. This was the part he hadn't wanted to think about. “Oh. Yeah. That makes sense.”

It was a slow pace walking there with Izaya lagging behind and noticeably limping as he walked. Shizuo purposely walked slowly and didn't mention how slow Izaya was.

By the time the small building was in view, the sun was close to dipping into the sea, the last rays just for them.

Their pace picked up slightly and Shizuo kept Izaya in his peripherals as he walked. When they neared the structure they slowed. Their tracks were still there from last night, and Shizuo could see dark blood spots in the sand and areas where it looked like Izaya might have tripped.

“So you know what to do, right? The collar can't be broken.”

Shizuo eyed the hole in the wall which he made last night, with the concrete broken in many places.

He hadn't thought about this at all. They hadn't really talked about it, but of course, Izaya expected him to get this part done. The hours that he sat there enjoying the feel of the sun could have been spent preparing himself for this.

Was he supposed to use a rock? One of the cement pieces on the floor? Did he use his hands?

“Uh...I guess I’ll just go in there?” He was still staring at the rocks on the ground wondering if he'd need them.

“Do you need me to go inside too?”

Yes. No. He wasn't sure. He shook his head.

He stepped in the hole and saw that the ladder descending into the control room was flooding with water.

The man was just where he had left him, slumped against the wall, though now there were a few flies settling around his open mouth. The air was just beginning to turn a little off. Not something too noticeable, but there.

The collar gleamed in the little light and there was the man’s head rolled to the side. It didn't take a genius to figure out that his head needed to be removed in order to get to the collar.

His fingers twitched and he made them curl into a fist. Walking closer till he stood over the man, Shizuo bent down so that he could reach and touch.

The muscles at his neck were stiff, and the toughness under cool, pale skin was jarringly unnatural. Those eyes, waxy and wide, were positioned as he had died staring up at him the other night.

Shizuo moved him so that the corpse was facing the wall, but he didn't think that this was much better when it looked like the man was slumped over in sleep.

Shizuo hovered over the man’s head.

Was this really okay? He was dead so it didn't matter much, right? Was he supposed to do this like a band-aid: slow and carefully or quick and dirty? Neither felt all too welcoming. He hesitated.

They needed to do this. It didn't matter if he didn't want to. He couldn't expect Izaya to be the one to pull this off.

He imagined this to be one of the fuckers who put them on the island. Forcing him to do this now. He let the anger guide his hands. Shizuo placed his fingers under the body’s square jaw. He thought it would be difficult as he then wrenched up. He only managed to lift the body up. He set the corpse down. He would need to twist as well, maybe put his leg on the man’s shoulder and then pull.

All it took was some pressure and then there was a sharp crack. He used too much force as he lifted. It took less strength than bending a street sign or taking out a guardrail. The head swooped up in his hands as it came apart, ripping at the jaw, skin, muscles, and bones. There wasn’t a lot of blood either, only a little managed to get on the collar. The body thudded to the side and dark blood began to seep out. He tried to set the body back upright like he had first found him.

It wasn't until he had the collar off that he looked at the head in his grasp and didn't know what to do with it. He turned the man forward once more and put the head in the man's lap with his stiff arms holding it as if to give it back to him. Like Celty holding her helmet.

That didn't make him feel better at all. He stepped back and ignored Izaya's watchful gaze. He hadn't expected what taking a man’s head from his shoulders would be like. Physically it was almost effortless.

He walked back out to the darkening sky.


	27. Grains of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brains aloof

The hazy edge of the sun setting over the ocean and the colors bleeding through air and water was just enough light for Izaya to observe Shizuo placing the decapitated head, the one just moments ago he'd ripped off, into the body's waiting arms.

There was something childish about it, like a kid who had broken something and tried to put it back together but didn't know how. Yes, it was kind in a terrible and naive and grotesque way.

A lifetime ago he would have poked fun at Shizuo for this, he would have laughed mockingly— gratingly in a loud rapture at such a meaningless and small gesture. But now as Shizuo stepped back, walked out the room completely ignoring him with a withdrawn expression, Izaya could only watch.

Instead of going out there to wash his hands, like he expected him to, Shizuo put the collar in the black bag then stuffed his hands into his pockets and stood facing the sea.

"You're forgetting something," Izaya called out softly, and from what he could see, Shizuo's back became incredibly tense.

That's right. There were plenty more bodies contained in these walls. The man wielding the chainsaw for one, and the sizable mound in the pit. Even from where he stood, he could smell the sour air. Perhaps they could collect these collars a lot quicker than they first thought...if the collars were somewhere waiting to be plucked out from mangled limbs. But most likely they wouldn't be.

Shizuo turned back towards him slowly, his face scrunched up as he realized what Izaya was getting at, the whole pit full of it. He wouldn't want to go in there, and this time, Izaya wouldn't make him.

"When you were down there, you didn't see any collars, did you?" It was hardly fair to expect Shizuo to be able to remember such details, and Izaya wouldn't blame him if he wanted to lie about it, but of course, he wouldn't.

Shizuo frowned darkly. "It was dark...," he paused, looking repulsed as he worked through the images in his mind. "But I don't think I did. There weren't any."

Izaya thought this would have been the case. They probably wouldn't want to waste the collars so they had the man cut the bodies up. But then where would they have him put all of the devices?

The rooms they had searched were mostly bare. Either there was a hatch that was used to drop the collars down to the control room, or—his eyes flicked up— he threw the collars on the roof so that the men in helicopters could retrieve them.

If the collars did go down, then it would be impossible to find them submerged in water. But first Izaya needed to check on something. He carefully pushed himself from the ledge of the crumbling wall and he walked towards the other hole in the wall, where the smell was so much worse. As he braced himself against cement, the throbbing ache from having to do all those one-handed compressions reached every muscle from his hand to his shoulder to his chest. Izaya continued to move. There was just enough light to see inside. Embedded in the wall was the man with the mask of sewn faces. Flies were more active here, crawling around exposed flesh.

Izaya took a second to gauge how the collar looked and saw that where the acid had eaten through the man's throat, so too did it eat through parts of the metal.

"The collar here melted in some places, it's unusable," Izaya said as he took a few steps back. Shizuo didn't say anything as he looked away from the sea towards Izaya. "But considering that there are so many bodies here, it's worth a try to see if maybe some of the collars were relocated, and I think it's a good chance that they were thrown on the roof."

Shizuo looked skeptical. "You want me to climb to the roof?"

"Yeah."

Shizuo took a quick glance at the building before he stepped over and scaled the wall, finding the best places for his long limbs to use as he reached the top in a matter of seconds. Izaya didn't have to wait long before Shizuo jumped down, holding two more collars that looked stained with dried blood, but they looked intact, which was what mattered.

"Great," Izaya said. "Now that makes our count five. We should probably collect as many as we still can before the helicopters do a sweep of the island. Unless of course, you want a break?"

"No. I'm fine. Do you?" Shizuo asked gruffly and he looked down at the sling resting against his chest.

"I'm okay." It wasn't exactly a lie, but Izaya knew he was reaching his limit and now that he was stuck with Shizuo, then he'd continue to push himself. He wouldn't allow himself to look any more weak or vulnerable in front of him.

Shizuo nodded and reached for the black bag in the sand, putting in the two other collars inside. He slung it over his back. "Where to next?"

"Ah, that depends. We could either walk for an hour to the next building then continue on, though we wouldn't know if the people inside are alive or dead, or we could try the forest..." Izaya couldn't see much through the towering trees. They did have some phones with battery life, though none of the batteries were interchangeable with his own.

"I don't know about you, but water would be nice. We should head for a river or a waterfall first," Shizuo said. "I think Mura-san showed us one that was close by."

Izaya was rather parched and as he leaned against the building he grinned even though Shizuo wasn't looking his way. "You know, Mura is most likely on the second task."

There was a moment as Shizuo thought about it and he cursed. "That two-faced bastard knew how to take these things off, huh? He lied to me. He _definitely_ lied to me. That fucker! I should have sent him flying. Should have punched his face in and his jaw out so that he can't ever tell another lie again."

With the anger on his face, Shizuo looked more like himself. Izaya nodded his head. "You could do that...and you could take his collars."

"If he has any," Shizuo grumbled. "He wasn't carrying any on him."

"He has at least two. Remember on the recording, he used that rock to split that guy's neck? The screen went dark after that, but I'm sure he added it to his collection."

Shizuo made a noise from the back of his throat. "That bastard. Should've known he was full of shit. Yeah, this whole island reeks. Makes it hard to tell shit from more shit."

"Hmm." Just like an animal. But Izaya didn't bother saying it aloud. The wind picked up and fluttered his coat gently. Just as the sun dipped down completely, the silhouette of something black on the horizon caught his eye before blending into the indigo sky. It could have been an animal or a boat, but it was too dark to tell now.

Shizuo was already heading into the line of trees and Izaya tiredly followed him. It was considerably darker, and he held his folding blade in his good hand. That pressure alone hurt his hand but he ignored it. "There still should be some working phones in the bag."

The contents clattered loudly in the surrounding quiet as Shizuo shifted through the bag. They still had the lantern, but that was as good as dead. From the cellphone's screen, the light was barely enough for them to see beyond the glow around them. If someone was hiding behind a long narrow tree, they wouldn't know it.

His eyes were first downcast, but he found himself shifting up towards Shizuo's back where it was too dark to make out the new scar there. 

It took too much effort to quicken his strides when his own back was swelling and the stitched up cuts were tugging each time he painfully moved. If someone wanted to kill either of them, they would target him, the one lagging behind. Even in this condition, he was confident that he could dodge anything, but that meant he had to keep himself alert and concentrate when all he wanted to do was rest.

The humidity and heat stuck to his skin, though he wouldn't take off his coat.

Maybe Shizuo noticed his gaze or the fact that their steps were becoming further away since he looked over his shoulder and paused. There was always an intensity to Shizuo's stare, and in the bleak darkness with only the soft light barely reaching his face, his brown eyes looked black and monstrous, void of any of its usual light.

With him watching, Izaya had the staggering impulse to turn around and disappear among the narrow trees. This wasn't out of fear of Shizuo, but as he finally caught up and Shizuo had decided to walk beside him, matching his pace, Izaya realized why he had wanted to turn back.

The closeness was stifling. Unbearably so.

Back in Ikebukuro where their fights were a blur of an upturned city, there had always been the wind ahead of him and Shizuo always closing in on air, never close enough to actually touch.

It was strange to realize this now, after over two days of being in close proximity, but that was of course during the time he had been eager to witness Shizuo's death. It wasn't the same.

He wanted to leave, even more so. He didn't want to be around Shizuo; not if Shizuo was watching him this closely and would be able to see through him and possibly detect all the things Izaya wished weren't there, but they were and they were as undeniable and real as the sore muscles stiff and aching along his arm and back, all of it proof of when he had refused to allow Shizuo to die. He was too tired to fight his own feelings or pretend that he felt nothing.

It made him reluctant to be near Shizuo. Izaya didn't want to have such things to be exposed— it was too damn humiliating, weak, and unspeakable. It was too human.

It was also pointless. Shizuo had made it clear that he was only interested in women. And not only that but women who were completely opposite to Izaya in character. Izaya could easily picture a sweet, caring, and pretty woman doting on Shizuo and together they'd live a simple and modest life, and he'd only become a bad memory.

Izaya already detested this imaginary woman and if such a woman ever did think she could soothe out Shizuo's destructive nature then he would...do nothing. Hopefully, he'd be living far enough away to never know such a thing.

Which meant that he had absolutely no chance and sticking around Shizuo any longer would only end up hurting. And whatever dumb reasons Shizuo had for wanting to stay together would not be enough to keep Izaya close.

Shizuo would either realize his bad choice of judgment, or Izaya would slip away when he could.

It would be harder now though, with the man so much closer than before. So close that if Izaya wanted to, he could lean over and graze his bare arm, make it look like an accident.

He looked towards the ground when Shizuo noticed. There was that heavy and stifling feeling and Izaya felt hot against his neck.

This wouldn't work at all. He might as well piss Shizuo off and get this over with now. At least then Shizuo could forever hate him and things would be more like they should. Whatever comradeship they had built up, Izaya could destroy it with a few parting words.

He licked his bottom lip along where it was swollen and cracked. He really was thirsty. While walking towards the creek, he'd think up something good to hurt Shizuo with.

The sound of flowing water came sooner than he expected. Izaya coils see in the dim light how Shizuo's muscles tensed along his torso and arms and Izaya wisely turned his attention to anyone hiding in the dark. There was no one.

The water, black in the darkness, flowed pleasantly over rocks and lush plants. It was about a meter and a half wide and not very deep with round stones in the bottom. He let go of his folding knife and dipped his hand in the cool water. It flowed soothingly against his fingers.

"Do you smell that?" Shizuo whispered close to him. Izaya breathed in deeply, but of course, there was only the sharp, clean air around them, sweet and thick with plant life and dirt. If anything the dirt smelled too much like copper. Like iron and blood.

"I think someone died close by. It's too quiet as well." Shizuo's voice was low, and Izaya got what he meant. He scanned their surroundings but didn't see anything. The flowing water close by was tantalizing and after going most of the day without water, his body craved it.

Shizuo brought the meager cellphone light close to the surface of the water. The depths looked pristine and the light reflected prettily on the surface. It didn't look like someone had flung a dead man's body in the water.

Shizuo set the phone down before sliding his hands under the surface for a few seconds and scooping up and tasting it. "Tastes clean."

That was as good as safe to him and he reached over to bring a handful of refreshing coolness against his throat and tongue. Immediately he needed more and he took in his fill, not even caring as water spilled down his forearm and collected in his sleeve. He brought the water to his face and neck and that too soaked into his coat.

Izaya listened carefully for anything beyond the passing water and the low sporadic hum of insects.

The black bag crinkled as Shizuo took out that plastic bottle to rinse and fill up. He replaced it in the bag and stood, and from where Shizuo had splashed himself, drops of water trailed all the way down to the edge of his pants.

Izaya took two more gulps before wiping his mouth.

It was obvious that if he started a fight with Shizuo now it would be terribly stupid and he really didn't want to run off, only to smack into a tree or trip over a bush. He wouldn't do it now.

They crossed the creek and Izaya stepped on protruding rocks to avoid getting wet.

Shizuo was leading them towards the smell of blood and this time he walked a little ahead. They saw the splatter of blood first and then they heard the low, guttural rumble of a warning growl closer than was comfortable.

They halted and Shizuo lifted the cell phone light higher. Two glowing eyes reflected in the dark, low to the ground, and still far enough that they could possibly back away slowly. The scent of blood was impossible to ignore and it became obvious that this black panther was still consuming a human meal.

"Never turn your back to a big cat. It will only trigger its instincts to hunt you down." Izaya said quietly.

"The hell. That's what it is? Why does it sound like a dinosaur?"

"A dinosaur?" Izaya snickered. "Really, a dinosaur? You sure you're not confusing it with how you snore?"

"Hah? You think I sound like that? Well..." His voice, like a frustrated growl, was so alike to an animal that Izaya laughed some more. "At least I'm not possessed, y'know, laughing creepily and muttering 'humans' while I sleep!"

Izaya would have been concerned about the sleep talk bit, but he was certain Shizuo was making it up, well, mostly certain. One time Namie had said something similar to him when he had fallen asleep at his desk. "Oh please. I do not laugh creepily."

"And I don't snore. So shut up, I'm trying to do something here." Shizuo said as he took a few steps forward. The growling and spitting became louder, and Izaya could make out the shape of its black body coiled over a mangled exposed belly.

"Are you going for the collar, really?"

"It doesn't look so big," Shizuo said.

"It's eating a grown man."

The animal stepped over a twisted arm as it straightened up, flicking its tail and opening a jaw to reveal four protruding teeth that shined wet.

Shizuo didn't look concerned as he stared the animal down, ignoring the heavy breathing and growling as he continued to step closer. The trees were all too long to just pull up, but he snapped one by the trunk to let it fall closer towards the black panther.

The ground absorbed the shock, and the sleek black creature hesitated. Instinctively understanding that Shizuo was something different, a predator like itself, the big cat blinked, its nostrils flared, and those glowing eyes disappeared as it slinked off and left its kill to the bigger threat.

"See," Shizuo said, "the cat wasn't that big."

"That's because you're lucky the _animal_ was smart enough to know when to back down, funny right?"

"Not at all."

Shizuo headed for the body. The ferns hid the stained red ground and occasional piece of flesh and organ.

Izaya felt even more tired now that the adrenaline was easing off. Stepping over the broken tree, he sat on it as Shizuo surveyed the torn corpse. There were puncture wounds at the juncture at the man's neck and shoulder. The collar was fine, only wet and sticky.

Shizuo's fingers twitched as he brought one hand under the man's jaw and the other at the back of his neck. The cellphone light was somewhere below highlighting his profile. His lip was curled up in distaste and he closed his eyes.

It took a few seconds later for the twist and crack of bones to come and then the pull. Skin and muscles ripped apart sounding wet and quick. There was more blood this time as it gushed from the opening and spilled around his black soles. Shizuo let the head drop in the pooling blood and he slipped off the collar from the stump of the neck.

He didn't say anything as he stepped back and went towards the creek. As he took the light with him, Izaya warily stared through the black expanse of trees and shrubs where the big cat had disappeared. It was almost too dark to see the outline of the corpse and in the quiet night, Izaya shivered as a gust of wind weaved around branches and fanning leaves. He stood up to follow where Shizuo was heading to wash off the blood.

"It's too freaking hot," Shizuo said irritably as he pulled off his pants and shoes, set the phone down, and sat in the water. His hands broke the surface and he splashed himself.

The phone dimmed in warning a few moments before the screen darkened. Izaya could walk over and tap it but as he leaned against a tree and watched the water scintillate, at least now it wouldn't matter where his eyes wandered.

"The water is nice," Shizuo said. "Sure you don't want to cool off?"

"I'm all right." He said calmly. But he wasn't really. He was too exhausted. Izaya just wanted to lean against the tree and stop hurting.

If he did piss off Shizuo, though not too much since his body couldn't handle another beating, then what?

It would be a challenge to collect the collars by himself. His only working arm was already sore, and using his knife to cut through all that tissue, bones, and muscles would just be a long arduous task when Shizuo could do it in seconds. But he wouldn't allow himself to become dependent on Shizuo either.

Ah...then again, it wouldn't really be relying on him if he was using him. Once they had enough collars he could always leave and take them, that way Shizuo could go on despising him the way things should be. How it was supposed to be. And if there were more tasks... then he could go figure everything at his own pace.

He ignored how a migraine was fast forming with his thoughts.

It was Shizuo's fault for making him stay. Shizuo should know better. This would be for the best. Yes, it would be in his best interests to forget about Shizuo.

He's said that before, didn't he? And where did that lead him?

Izaya put a hand to his warm forehead that was damp from when he had washed his face.

This time he wouldn't mess up.

Shizuo stood and slicked his hair back, stepping out and letting gravity drip the water away.

He picked up the phone first before slinging his pants and the black bag over his shoulder and carrying his shoes. "Come on," he said in a low voice and the light settled around them.

Izaya pushed away from the tree, a wry smile on his lips to mask the grimace. "Yes, while the night is still teeming with the dead."

"You better not be enjoying this." Shizuo glared at him, and their eyes met and held him in place.

Izaya let some of what he was feeling show on his face. "Quite the contrary, I can barely stand much more of you."

Shizuo gauged his expression, but the longer Izaya glared, the less annoyed he looked. "Well, isn't that a shame." He said and shrugged. "Are you ever even honest with yourself?"

Izaya grinned, not letting any of the pangs of dread hinder him. "Shizu-chan, truth and knowledge have always been my specialty. I know what I feel because it's my own."

Shizuo's eyes didn't waver. They rarely ever did. "Twisted truth isn't truth at all."

"You're wrong about that. Twisted truth is a form of truth, but manipulated for one's own means. Plus, I have been honest with myself." He sounded confident enough, because yes, this was the truth.

"Half truths aren't truths either."

Izaya did grin for real now. "Well, half a brain isn't a brain either. Oh, I'm sorry, I meant a single cell of a brain."

And as expected, Shizuo took the bait.

"You're annoying, always such a pest."

He was relieved when Shizuo turned away and they began to walk silently: the air around them only slightly tenser. Eventually, the stream filled into a small stagnant pool green with algae.

They walked a little further when the wind picked up and soon became alive with helicopters.

"They came much earlier tonight," Izaya remarked as one sleek black machine passed over their heads, and hovered quite close to the direction they were heading. "Maybe they didn't want us to collect anymore."

"Sounds like something the bastards would do," Shizuo said and turned his gaze away from the sky. Izaya's back was so sore, he probably would have needed to stop soon anyway. "Then we should go somewhere to rest."

"Yeah. No point looking now."

They were close to the side of a mountain and found an area that had recessed into the rocks. Shizuo added more space to it like a real caveman would for a shelter.

It was cooler here with plenty of plants obscuring the view. Shizuo went out to gather some leaves to make the floor more comfortable, and Izaya nodded his head tiredly, passing out before Shizuo returned.


	28. Rushing Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of which he aimed for Izaya's mouth, smearing it a little at the corner but he managed to get most of it in there.

There were so many different types of leaves, that Shizuo didn't know which ones to bring. He carried as much as he could, which was, admittedly, an excessive amount. There were long waxy leaves as long as his torso, some that were fuzzy, and others that smelled like a fusion of peppermint and beer. He passed large mushrooms growing on the sides of trees with different colored spots and he wished that fruits were growing on these trees instead of mushrooms: like mangos, or bananas, or other tropical fruits that should have been there and would have been really nice since his stomach was grumbling like a pissed animal.

He should probably go out looking for food...though it might just waste the battery life on the phone. It only had thirty-nine percent left.

He hefted the long leaves over his shoulder and began to walk back to where he had left Izaya. The leaves touching his skin directly were cool and the wind kept the humidity bearable. The little recess in the rock wall that they had found was small, capable of fitting four large men and one thin man. It wasn't tall enough for them to stand in, but they could sit just fine.

He made sure to listen carefully as he walked. How they had found this little space was really by luck when Izaya had paused near the opening and he had felt the slight temperature difference.

Shizuo let the phone light switch off. He didn't really need it when his other senses could guide him just fine. The crescent moon and stars speckled the night and laid outlines to the contours of trees and bushes. At the entranceway in the wall, slightly darker than the surrounding stone, Shizuo shifted the bundle from his shoulder and he got down so that he wouldn't hit his head, and possibly cause a cave in and crush them to death as Izaya had ungraciously pointed out. Though Shizuo didn't really believe such a thing could be possible. Being rather tall, he had hit his head on door frames numerous times and a couple instances he had broken the wood and plaster, but not once had he ever made a house come down because of it.

"Flea?" He said quietly. There was no response, but that didn't worry him when he could still smell the other's presence. He got the phone on and shined the light on Izaya sitting down, resting against the cave wall in a position that looked uncomfortable. Shizuo dropped the leaves to the floor and tried to distribute it all evenly as he did so. "Hey, Izaya," he said louder this time, but Izaya was sleeping and didn't stir.

Shizuo tsked. Izaya must have been exhausted if he slept just like that, without even his folding knife by his side. He thought about just leaving him in that awkward position- then frowned deeply. Letting Izaya sleep like that wouldn't do him any good, and Shizuo really didn't want to be bothered by such tedious complaints tomorrow.

He reached over and tapped his shoulder, feeling the warmth through the jacket. The tap turned to a nudge, then to a gentle shake and finally, Izaya groaned awake, blinking angrily at the light in Shizuo's hands then at his face.

"Leave me alone," Izaya said meanly and he saw the pile of leaves before resting on them on his side, facing the wall.

"Flea-" Shizuo bit back his irritated retort. Alone? Izaya wanted to be alone? He was still going on about that? If he wanted to be alone and couldn't stand being near him, then why the fuck did he save his life?

His stomach growled, and Shizuo realized it was a waste to be so pissed if it got him even more hungry. He put a hand on his stomach and felt as it rumbled indignantly. The thought of staying up while Izaya was sleeping was too depressing for his stomach. Maybe he could go look for food for a little bit? Just around where they were...

He ran a hand over his face. It would be pointless. He'd just be wasting battery life, and probably his energy too. But still, he didn't want to stay up. If only there was a door attached to the rock wall. Ah! Well, yeah, he could put something too heavy to move as a door. Renewed with temporary energy, Shizuo got back out into the night and thought about what he could use to barricade themselves in. He could stack some trees, but that was probably too obvious. He could use a big enough rock. That sounded good enough to him. He paced around the rock wall, looking for something that he could pull out of the ground.

He had to go further before he found something large enough sticking out of the ground. He stuck the phone in his pants before bending down and finding where to place his hands. He pulled up, and the stone crumbled where he was holding it. It seemed to be attached to the ground, so instead, he kicked the rock where it was close to the base three times before it gave way. It was about the size of half a car and he picked it up and carried it back.

Even though normally he could do something like this while also lifting a car, Shizuo felt his limbs shake from the force, his hunger making him more spent than he first realized. He made it back and eased the boulder down in front of the entrance on one side so that he could first go into their hideout before letting it down as gently as he could.

It covered most of the entranceway, which was good, since he figured they needed air to breathe, anyway. He let the sweat cool from his back before he settled atop the leaves a few feet away from Izaya, closer towards the boulder where the wind could more easily reach him. His legs were too long to stretch out completely. He fell asleep soon after to the sounds of the night.

An angry growl woke him up and a squeezing pain seized his stomach. A second later he realized it wasn't an animal, but his hunger.

Strips of light streamed through, and Shizuo stared up at the wall, reluctant to move and do much of anything when he felt like he hadn't eaten anything in weeks. He took in a deep breath and the taste of bitter peppermint was on his tongue. Those leaves were beginning to smell good enough to eat and his mouth salivated in longing. He turned his head to the side where Izaya was lying down, still facing away.

His stomach clenched in pain and Shizuo turned over so that the sounds could be muffled. He would have to go look for food soon. He wouldn't be able to concentrate on much if he didn't. As he waited for some time, and couldn't go back to sleep, Shizuo sat up, reached in their black bag to take a gulp of water, then as quietly as he could, he pushed aside the boulder with straining muscles. Light immediately spilled around him, too bright that he shielded his eyes. He was ready to go when he heard Izaya sit up. Shizuo looked back. "Sorry if I woke you up."

The bruise along Izaya's cheek looked much better, less like he had just been punched repeatedly in the face. He stretched with one arm up but winced when he pulled something the wrong way. "Your stomach did. Awhile ago."

Now he felt a tad sheepish. "I'm going to go out looking for something to eat now. You can sleep here longer if you want."

"Nah," he said as he maneuvered out of the cave, much more gracefully than someone so injured should have. "Might as well get up now." He squinted as he stepped out, the rays of the sun filtering through an overcast of clouds made everything appear too white.

Though his face was slightly less bruised, the dark circles under his eyes were just as prominent as last night. He shielded his eyes with a hand. "Think you can catch some tuna this time, Shizu-chan?"

"Not in the mood for tuna," Shizuo said rougher than he meant. But really he didn't want to know what kind of trouble Izaya would get into if he left him alone without proper supervision.

"Ah."

They went in the direction that they had headed out the night before. He knew if they continued this way long enough, they would reach the other side of the island where they had started in. But that was also through where the traps were.

He remembered that he couldn't walk so fast, even if he itched to move as fast as possible at the prospect of breakfast, and instead, he matched Izaya's pace and got near enough that they were almost alongside each other.

Shizuo looked around for anything that resembled even remotely edible, obviously ignoring the plethora of colorful mushrooms that grew along their path. It reminded him of candy, but Shizuo wouldn't let himself be fooled.

There were small birds that would occasionally fly over their heads, but they were as small as sparrows, and probably wouldn't be worth eating. Just the thought of it kind of grossed him out. It wouldn't be chicken flavored for sure. His stomach made another pitiful noise and Shizuo groaned.

"I've heard that worms taste like fried bacon." Izaya supplied. "If you're really that hungry."

"You're lying." Shit. He said _bacon_. Even his mouth began to water.

"I'm not." Izaya chuckled and Shizuo watched his hand move aside a low-hanging branch. "Imagine an oily piece of bacon you dropped in the dirt, move it around and get that soil all up in there, and be amazed- fresh bacon!"

Shizuo could imagine it. If he had bacon and dropped it he would definitely still eat it. "Stop saying bacon." He muttered testily.

"Ah, there's bugs too. I've read online that they tend to have a nuttier flavor, especially when roasted. You like peanuts, right? Did you know, some beetles taste like fruit? Apples or melons depending on what kind. Just keep your mouth open and I'm sure something will feed you."

"Gross."

"Insects can be quite delicious and nutritious if you just try them. You'd be surprised how many humans around the world eat insects. It's fascinating, really. Maybe you'll develop a predilection for them."

A large, fat insect crawled along the base of a tree. It's thin legs rubbed together and it made a high pitched noise. "Never. Nope. I'd rather eat anything else. And what do you know about eating insects? Do you eat them? fleas don't eat other insects, just blood, right?"

Izaya scoffed. "Don't be stupid. Of course, I don't."

"Exactly. I bet fleas are the worst things you could possibly eat."

"I wouldn't say the worst, but it _is_ detrimental. Ingesting fleas can give you tapeworms and an array of other unwanted things."

Shizuo frowned and wiped his damp bangs from his eyes. "So parasites host other parasites, huh? Sounds like a tough world."

"On a microscopic level, I suppose so." He then looked up but when their eyes met he flicked his gaze to the trees around them. "And before you ask, I don't have tapeworms."

"Okay? I didn't think you did. I guess there's not enough room for another parasite in you, right?"

"Something like that."

How they went from eating bugs to parasites, Shizuo had no clue. But at least now he had lost a tiny portion of his appetite, which was nice. But that lull of losing his interest in food only lasted the next five minutes when his stomach made itself known.

He swatted some bugs that got too close to his face, and he pushed aside any spider webs that were low enough that he couldn't just duck to avoid. As he looked more and more intently, things began to look oddly familiar to him, which was strange since everything, for the most part, looked like everything else on this damn island.

As they walked through a low overhanging of vines, he began to realize why this felt familiar. Mura-san had shown them this path. There were those white flowers in the same patch that he had stared at. There were those same jutting rocks. Those same trees with dicks and balls.

He glared at the overlarge hanging bundles, but then he remembered how the insides of them tasted, and his mouth began to water and his stomach twisted in hunger. "It's the coconut balls," he said, just as Izaya spoke.

"Heiwajima nuts!"

"Would you quit that?" Shizuo growled, and from the corner of his eye, he just caught Izaya frowning with what could have been disgust.

"Hmm? But Shizu-chan," his hands moved as if in a flourish. "This could be your ticket to fame. Imagine the money you could get for discovering this. Everyone will know your name and speak in wonder of your freakishly large nuts."

"I tell you to quit it and you _still_ do this crap?"

Izaya grinned even wider. "But you _must_ take some responsibility for being the discoverer of those coconuts."

"I didn't discover shit. And you still want me to take some responsibility, huh? Then how 'bout I just name it myself and call it, the _fucking-annoying-and-ugly-as-shit-just-like-Izaya-coconut_ , all right!"

"It's a little wordy..." Izaya said doubtfully. He stepped over a fallen tree. "And not at all creative."

"Deal with it." He said as he dropped the black bag and stepped through a few bushes so that he was standing under one of them. It was too high up to reach.

"You know that more humans are killed by coconuts than by sharks every year?"

"So...?"

"Then it would be such a shame if one of your precious nuts fell on you, right?"

"Yeah, how heartbreaking." He looked on the ground for any that fell, but none were there, and he looked up in the tree instead and grasped the rough bark.

"You're actually going to eat that?" There was that disgust in his voice, but Shizuo didn't really see any problem when his stomach was feeling much more desperate that it would soon get something. He didn't bother to answer as he climbed. He grasped one hairy shell and knocked it to the ground. He let four more drop, hearing the thuds against the roots before he too let go of the branch. The shells hadn't cracked at all from the impact. He managed to hold all of them in his arms before finding a somewhat flat rock to sit on.

"Could you pass me the bag?"

Izaya did so, picked it up from among spiraling plants, and dropped it by Shizuo's feet.

Shizuo loosened the drawstring and reached inside where he shifted around the contents looking for the tiny bottle. The bag was almost full now that it had metal collars. He felt the smooth plastic of something that wasn't the hand sanitizer or the water bottle, and he loosened it to peer inside. There was a bottle of mouthwash. Izaya must have snuck it in, but he didn't think any more of it when he really was hungry. He grasped the hand sanitizer and added a coin sized amount to his palm before quickly rubbing his hands and he kept them there for a second.

"Thanks for the meal."

He knew to be careful now as he split the coconut open. A rich smell hit him. He offered half of it over, but Izaya looked at the halved coconut and he stepped back and found his own rock to sit on.

"Go ahead, Shizu-chan. I'm not really in the mood for that."

"You're not hungry?"

"The taste is too nauseating for me."

Shizuo was ready to tip the coconut to his mouth and drink the sweet liquid. But he paused. "You should eat something." He spotted a large insect against a nearby tree. It was black and plump with more legs than was probably necessary.

Shizuo put one of the coconut halves down before he picked up a twig and took aim, spearing the insect. He offered this to Izaya instead. The white guts of the insect dribbled out like puss.

"Here. You like peanuts, right? I bet if you roast it, you won't know the difference."

"Hah!" Izaya grinned. "So you were listening to me! _And_ you are offering me bugs to eat? How disgustingly sweet of you. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you actually cared."

"I wouldn't have to if you'd stop being an idiot. Eat something, all right. Or the next thing I find I will shove down your throat." He tossed the still twitching insect to the ground.

"Hmm. Then I'll look forward to whatever _it_ is."

"Don't test me, flea, you'll fucking regret it." Finally, he let his distracting hunger win and drank the clear coconut water. The taste was like a more citrusy flavored coconut, crisp and sweet and smooth washing over his tongue. The next layer was soft with a consistency similar to jelly. He scooped a bite to his mouth. It held even more flavor.

"Shit, this is good," Shizuo groaned as the flavor practically melted in his mouth. Underneath the layer of jelly was the tougher white meat of the coconut. As if it were an orange, he peeled back the shell right to the white edge. It was only two centimeters thick, but since the coconut was so large, the amount would eventually fill him up. He broke chunks of it off and chewed on it.

He did the same to the other half of the coconut. When he was done with that as well, he wasn't close to being full. It was while finishing the third coconut that his hunger abated. But he still wasn't really full. The fourth coconut cracked down the middle and he was careful of the sweet liquid it contained. Shizuo then heard a growl, and he looked over at the flea sitting there bored yet watchful.

Izaya must have been equally hungry, if not more so considering his body was recovering from his injuries. He'd only get worse if he didn't have the energy.

"Eat some," Shizuo said as he forced half of a coconut onto Izaya's lap. "You'll feel better."

Izaya glared first at the coconut in his lap then at Shizuo. "I already said it's too sweet for me."

"Yeah well, you ate it before and were fine. Stop being annoying about it now. You need to eat something."

"You're being even more annoying, ever thought of that?"

The coconut in his hand cracked, he was gripping it so hard. "How about you take care of yourself so that I don't have to!"

"No one's making you do anything, Shizu-chan," Izaya said coldly, and he dumped the coconut to the ground. It clattered before resting right side up, most of the liquid gone to waste now.

Shizuo reached for Izaya and gripped the front of his coat. He yanked him forward. He didn't even think about it as he dipped his fingers in his coconut and scooped a handful of jelly. All of which he aimed for Izaya's mouth, smearing it a little at the corner but he managed to get most of it in there.

He kept his hand clamped there till he knew Izaya had swallowed. Shizuo removed his hand.

Izaya coughed and managed to hold his balance. He glared up and he spat the rest of it from his mouth.

Shizuo returned his glare evenly. He thought about doing it again. To get him to eat and shut up.

Izaya licked some of the coconut from his bottom lip. The corner of his mouth was still bruised and swollen and for some inexplicable reason, Shizuo stared.

A second later he realized how suggestive it was. A flush was threatening to heat his cheeks. The flea was even on his knees.

Shizuo reached for the coconut that Izaya had dropped and he shoved it as gently as he could against Izaya's chest. Izaya still winced.

"Eat that yourself, or I'll make you eat it."

Shizuo didn't dare look at the mess surrounding his lips, but he looked at his eyes as Izaya spoke.

"I _hate_ you."

Normally he wouldn't give a fuck about how Izaya felt towards him, but now it got him pissed. He wished that he didn't fucking care.

"Yeah? So you hate me? You want to be alone? Then why the fuck didn't you just let me die?" His voice rose, and the answering silence of the forest was cringeworthy.

After a pause, Izaya spoke with a grin. "Why?" He chuckled. "Because obviously, you haven't suffered enough."

Shizuo honestly couldn't believe it. Looking at Izaya with all of his injuries and all of his stubborn pride, it just didn't make sense. And because he couldn't believe it, he figured it was probably a lie. That was the only reason he held back from cursing a storm.

"Is that so?" Shizuo said slow and thickly. "Then why does it look like you're the only one suffering in _my_ company?"

It seemed like Izaya hadn't predicted this almost calm retort. His eyes were slightly wider than usual, though he looked for the most part just as composed as normal. He smirked, and Shizuo was slightly disturbed as he watched Izaya drag a hand against the glistening substance.

"I was playing around with you for two entire days. Are you really that much of a moron to think that I wouldn't just keep doing it?"

Shizuo's fists clenched, and his eyes narrowed. "Stop that."

Izaya continued as if he didn't notice. "I could be lying to you about the second task and you wouldn't ever know. Maybe I just want to see you do things you hate. Maybe I just want to watch you suffer. Maybe I hate you so much that it will never be enough."

"That's enough." Even though it wasn't a good idea, Shizuo still shoved another handful of coconut in Izaya's mouth to get him to shut up. "I told you to stop it, so stop it. I hate the shit that comes out of your mouth. And though I know it's stupid, I'll take the chance and take some comfort in thinking that it's mostly lies."

Izaya wiped his face. He continued to frown, his anger just beginning to soften. "You'd be surprised at how often I tell the truth."

"Doesn't mean you're honest."

Izaya grinned though that quirk of lips was less sharp than normal. "It would seem like our perceptions differ. Is truth based on the accuracy of facts and knowledge or on honesty and trustworthiness? Interesting, right?"

Shizuo stepped back to his rock. He really didn't want to talk much more of this. He didn't respond.

Whatever coconut was left on Izaya's hand, he rubbed it off on a nearby leaf. "Or maybe not."

Shizuo began to finish his coconut half. Izaya didn't eat any more, and thankfully he didn't speak either.

A strong wind blew over the towering trees, and Shizuo looked up as the leaves and branches swept in the air.

He was glad it wasn't as humid.

Izaya took the bottle of water from the bag and finished all of it. He replaced the empty bottle in the bag and then got out the mouthwash. He swished a capful in his mouth before spitting it to the ground and putting it away.

Shizuo was still chewing on coconut when he asked, "You got that from the control room, right? Did you happen to pack any food?"

"Food? If you were hoping for some sperghetti, then I'm terribly sorry for not packing you some. I just grabbed some things that I thought could be useful before, well...you know, and I didn't really expect that to be on the island longer than a few more hours."

"But you brought mouthwash?"

"Yeah, there are many uses for mouthwash. And I did bring a few instant coffee packets, but I already used them up the other night."

"Oh." He wiped the coconut on a nearby leaf and picked up the last coconut. Izaya eyed it in Shizuo's hands and it seemed like he was about to say something, but thought better of it.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Really? You have nothing to say?"

Izaya shrugged. Then he grinned as if something new came to his mind. "You know, if we run into anyone, I bet you could scare them off with that. It'd make a pretty terrifying weapon. Just imagine it."

Shizuo didn't want to imagine it because the coconut was already gross enough. "Getting killed by a coconut...what an awful way to die."

"Especially by that one." Izaya chuckled.

Shizuo slung the black bag over his shoulder. Thankfully it wasn't so hot that the material would stick to his skin.

"We should probably get more water," Izaya said.

"Yeah, though water isn't a substitute for food."

"Obviously. Then how about you go deep sea fishing then?"

"I have a better idea. How about we build a raft and get the fuck off this island?"

"Shizu-chan, this isn't _Cast Away_. No one's going to happen upon us in the middle of the ocean, and frankly, I don't want to be stuck on a raft for a week or two with you. I think I'd go insane first."

"Oh come on! I'm much more stimulating than a volleyball."

"But more intelligent? Hmm? I'm certain I could have more philosophical conversations with a volleyball."

"You wouldn't even need a ball 'cause you already have those conversations with yourself, and if I had a volleyball at least it'd be quiet and peaceful and wouldn't talk back to me. And it would be much more useful. I could be playing volleyball!"

"Well too bad you don't have a volleyball then. But you could always build a raft and take a pair of these balls," Izaya pointed to the double coconut. "Then when your hunger becomes too much you can eat them."

"I can't do that!"

"Oh? Why not? Do you want me to make you another Willy-san instead?"

"No. And I can't because I'm not leaving here without you."

"Okay, how about I make this easier for you to understand. If we're stuck on a raft for who knows how long, I doubt both of us are going to come out of it alive."

"I wouldn't kill you." But a second later, Shizuo connected the dots. He could make it probably, but Izaya? In his current state? Shit. "All right, fine. I got it. We'll finish this here."

Sure he could make a raft and sail without Izaya and forget about this fucked up island, but he wouldn't feel good about it. He'd hate it.

He picked up the last double coconut and their bag. "Ready?" He asked.

"Yep."

They had to backtrack a bit in order to head towards the creek. The trees they passed were narrow and tall, and the ferns on the ground brushed over their knees. It was definitely cooler as grey and white clouds hid the sun. Though the sky was muted, the colors of the jungle were as rich as ever. Nothing smelled of shit either. His hunger was also satiated. Izaya was quiet.

After twenty minutes of walking, this could actually be considered a pleasant walk. It had been so with his thoughts on nothing in particular. He was just enjoying the changing scenery. He could have even called it peaceful. The birds chirping overhead had an exotic feel. Then the image of Izaya as he had been kneeling in front of him, coconut from his tongue and lips, and the vehemence in his eyes, reared up in his peaceful thoughts.

The abruptness and the degree of this sexual attraction caught him off guard because it was certainly rare for him to find himself attracted to anyone. He couldn't even remember the last time he had and he was certain that it wasn't this strong.

What the fuck? Where the fuck was this coming from?

The longer they walked silently, the more he became aware of his own dick. There was a slight pressure there, and he was absolutely mortified as to why such an image was affecting him at all.

Shizuo tried not to think about Izaya in that way because that was obviously wrong on so many levels. He had never thought about Izaya as attractive, his shitty personality actually making him unbearable to look at without wanting to punch his face in...though he could recall girls following him back when they were in school.

From the corner of his eye, he could glimpse the curve of his neck, then his eyes flitted down to where a zipper was pulled to his mid-chest. It was probably not a smart thing to look at and Shizuo forced his gaze away.

He couldn't understand why. He gripped the coconut in his hands tighter, thinking about lowering it to the front of his pants, but that would have been too obvious not to mention it'd look absolutely ridiculous.

Instead, he tried to concentrate on the ugliness of the hairy nut sack shaped coconut in his hands.

His thoughts became worse. As a recent shower played in his mind, ending with-

_Don't think about anything. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think about anyone's ass. Don't- ah, fuck!_

Just...no.

He couldn't think about it. He shouldn't, really. If he continued on like this, then he might just get hard. Well, harder than he already was. And there was no way he was getting hard from a flea.

He thought of things that would distract him. For instance, the colorful mushrooms on the trees...kind of pissed him off. The white flowers tangled in the rocks...also pissed him off. And the dicks hanging off the trees-

Ok, he just had to think his way out of this. Think of people who disgusted him. It came to no surprise that he thought of Izaya first.

Fine then, think of _other_ people besides Izaya who disgusted him. Jakow did, but Shizuo didn't want to think about him. Okay, then Shinra...in a dress?

Shizuo frowned. Why was this so difficult? Why the heck-

"You all right?" Izaya asked.

Shizuo looked at Izaya with slight alarm, but he wasn't that hard so he shouldn't know, though this _was_ Izaya.

"I'm fine," he managed. "You?"

"Fine. A little warm though." He tugged down the zipper and Shizuo had to resist from reaching over and pulling his jacket zipper all the way up. But then again, he didn't trust his hands to listen to him and it might just end up pulling that jacket down all the way. And how the fuck was he going to explain that? Thankfully the coconut was in his hands, stopping him.

Izaya was still looking at him, and Shizuo realized where his eyes had drifted. He was even more surprised as the adrenaline continued through his system, pumping blood in places that blood had no business being in.

"It's uh, nice weather. Not too hot today so, yeah." Shizuo mumbled. He slouched a little so that he didn't really have to look at Izaya.

 _What the fuck? What the fuck's going on? Just why...!_ Oh! _The fucking coconut_!

He gripped the double coconut in his hands even tighter.

That was the only explanation. But Mura-san wasn't a real botanist, so how could he have been right about the coconut being an aphrodisiac? Arg. Fuck him! If he ever saw Mura again, he'd kill him with a coconut.

But knowing why he was aroused didn't make him feel better when he couldn't understand why he'd even have these thoughts about Izaya in the first place. Was he really that deprived of human companionship that even this flea could turn him on? He certainly wished that he wasn't so pathetic. He figured he didn't have much to worry about once the coconut disappeared from his system and then he could forget about his lapse of judgment.

Had Izaya known about the coconut? He'd only eaten one before, so maybe it hadn't been enough...but then again he was pretty adamant about not eating any. Had the coconut affected him at all?

Shizuo chanced a glance at Izaya. He certainly looked warm with a light flush over his skin. Izaya caught him looking and Shizuo thought of something he could say.

He wanted to reach in his pants to adjust his dick so that it wouldn't rub so much against his pants as he walked. But he didn't think he could. Maybe if he said he was taking a piss, he could adjust it, but it would be strange if he said he was, yet couldn't because of his boner- ah fuck this was just way too complicated. He should just admit to it, even if Izaya wouldn't let him hear the end of it.

It was probably a blessing then that he realized beyond the rush of blood ringing in his ears he could hear the low sound of running water. "The creek," Shizuo spoke as if he choked on the words, and in his own thoughts, he cringed. They stepped through a dense patch of waxy thigh-high leaves and the creek flowed beautifully over stones and weeds.

It seemed like sitting in the cool water might take the edge off his boner...maybe it could lessen up a bit if he was lucky. And if he ended up sitting there with an erection and unable to get out of the water? Well, he could only deal with one thing at a fucking time. Shizuo shed his pants, shoes, and socks before he quickly and discreetly sat in the water.

He rubbed water along his face, feeling the coolness surround him and dampen his bangs.

Izaya was rinsing out the bottle and filling it up and drinking from it.

Shizuo didn't stare at him for too long, knowing that it wouldn't help the situation, especially since his erection was not being dissuaded by cool water and instead was thrumming with a kind of strength different than the normal kind that he could deal with.

He pressed one hand to the front of his boxers; against his hand was a raging boner like he never had before. Shit, this was bad. He gripped himself hard partly desperate to just will his hand to move and partly mortified to do it. He had to say something. At this point, he didn't care anymore if Izaya knew.

"Hey...uh," Shizuo paused, trying to come up with something smarter than 'I'm painfully hard' and 'could you please ignore me as I masturbate', but his thoughts were broken off anyway when foliage moved near them. They both turned as a man stepped by the creek close enough that they could read the surprise on his face.

To Shizuo, he looked like a man who didn't know who he was like he was pretending to be a samurai but thought dressing up as a cowboy pirate could cut it. His hair was long, clumpy, and tied in a ponytail. He wore a bright red scarf that went down to his mid-thighs and leather cowboy boots with gaudy stars. He looked Asian and probably in his early thirties.

An obnoxiously large sword was hanging from his hip.

"Well," he spoke in Japanese, looking them each in turn. "If this isn't two dicks in my mouth, then I don't know what is."

"YOU!" Shizuo roared. And finally, _finally_ , the blood was moving normally again as anger burst through his limbs.


	29. Honey Python

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Ahhhhh!' There was a scream through the air. 'That's a dick in my ass~'

This was a human who intrigued him. His attire was something straight off a billboard sign in Sunshine city, not in terms of style because even the most fashionably impaired could see it was atrocious, but because it was so ridiculously flashy.

Izaya read his features quickly. He had a large mouth with thin lips, hollow cheekbones, a nose that definitely had been broken and healed crookedly, and heavy downcast eyes that looked as if he were perpetually sleepy.

Maybe that was why when Shizuo stood from the water, the man's eyes were stuck lower than they should have been, and they widened considerably.

"YOU CREEPY BASTARD!" Shizuo yelled and he took a thunderous step forward that Izaya felt absorbed through the ground.

"You're—" the man said and he made a motion with his hands in Shizuo's general direction.

"NO!" Shizuo cut him off. "Don't fucking dare say another thing."

"You're—"

"What did I say?" Shizuo stepped out the creek, and since Izaya was kneeling a little ways behind Shizuo, he couldn't see the same view, and although this view had obvious advantages, the guy was still staring down, and it was kind of getting annoying. He decided to get up and take a few steps closer. 

"I know you!" The guy finally looked up at Shizuo's enraged face. If he did really know Shizuo, then he wouldn't be gawking in awe at his dick print. This guy did not know the danger he was in as he grinned and chuckled, and of course, Izaya would have done the same, but for different reasons. To this guy, Shizuo dripping in wet boxers was more hilarious than threatening.

"I know why your face is  _so_ familiar! I'm such a fan! I watch your videos all the time! This is so exciting. I can't believe it. Ah! I can't. I can't even!"

His few meters away from Shizuo were quickly dissipating. Was he confusing Shizuo for his brother? Because if he mentioned Kasuka, then there was no chance for him. But then again, Shizuo didn't look anything like his younger brother.

Shizuo growled lowly and bared his teeth.

"Ah! That's the look." He grabbed the sword by his hip. "Slap a dick in my mouth!" He gushed. "It  _is_ you. You're Honey Python!"

Shizuo was caught off guard. His fist paused. "...what?"

"I'd know that body anywhere. You've been in 148 pornos. Fuck yeah! Meeting you in the flesh. My man, you look even better in person. Did I wake up this morning thinking I'd be seeing Honey Python? Nope! Fucking balls, I'm the luckiest man today."

Izaya shook as he laughed, and pain seized his sides. The arm in the makeshift sling cramped up, and his head throbbed with pain.

"That's it!" Shizuo shouted. He lunged forward and that huge sword came between them.

"You thought that this was just for show, Honey Python?" He chuckled. "Nope. It's not just a decoration. Yeah, all one hundred AND  _sixty-nine_  centimeters of steel that I made myself. They say size doesn't matter, but I beg to differ. Because when I impale someone, oh, they are going to feel it. They most definitely will. But you know that already, you definitely know what I mean."

"SHUT UP! I told you to shut up!" Shizuo knocked the sword away and it clattered to the ground and broke. There was an ear-splitting shriek.

"Can you believe this guy?! Who the fuck is a honey python?" Shizuo yelled and turned so that instead of his ass it was now the front of his boxers that Izaya was looking at.

He quickly looked up and Shizuo's expression was predictably annoyed, and would soon be more so at Izaya's cheeky grin. But as anger flushed his cheeks, he only glowered back like a confused, angry dog before turning away. 

Now the man was brandishing a smartphone out.

"You're lucky you're Honey Python, 'cause otherwise I'd—"

"That's not my name!" Shizuo roared.

"It  _is_  you. I have your entire collection right here!" He scrolled his finger through a series of names. Izaya had to take a few more steps closer to read the list of titles.

 _[..._  
_Honey Python and Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Butt Plug_  
_Honey Python and His Dick; The Musical_  
_Honey Python and the Holy Grail_  
_Honey Python does His Taxes_  
_Honey Python, Father of Twenty?_  
_Honey Python Goes to Church_  
_Honey Python in Magic is Real_  
_Honey Python in the Most Intense Masturbation Scene Ever With a Jar of Honey and an Actual Python; A Three-hour Exclusive_  
_Honey Python's Kama Sutra_  
_Honey Python, Over the Counter_  
_Honey Python Sells His Honey Dildos_  
_Honey Python's Skydiving Foursome_  
_Honey Python Sleeps His Way Through Oxford University; Now an Adjunct Professor_  
_Honey Python: The Mailman and The Milkman_  
_Honey Python: Thirty People in Thirty Minutes_  
_Honey Python vs a Dildo Factory_  
_Pen_   _Pals with Honey Python_  
_...]_

A video was clicked. The screen blackened for a moment as it loaded.

 _'Yer a wizard, Honey Python.'_ A large round man with a beard bigger than his face said.

 _'I'm a WHAT?"_ Came a masculine growl. From a shirtless Shizuo.

"Turn that shit off!" Shizuo lunged, reaching for the smartphone.

"See. You can't make a fool out of me. You're one of the greatest porn stars. You broke Guinness world records."

"What? So he kind of looks like me! It doesn't mean anything."

"Shizu-chan..." Izaya snickered. "He doesn't just kind of look like you. He's your carbon copy. Don't tell me that's how you pay your bills."

"Of course I'd never do that!" Shizuo yelled.

"Really? But think of all you could accomplish if you focused your energy on sex instead of anger. Maybe there  _is_  something you're good at, after all."

"Fuck off!" Shizuo then pointed at the man. "And you better leave quietly or I'm going to beat the shit out of you 'till you forget that stupid name."

Those thin lips pulled back fondly. "You don't have to pretend with me." Shizuo's shoulders shook as his anger grew. The video skipped ahead and something stopped Shizuo from breaking the man's hand and flinging him away. "I won't reveal your real identity if that bothers you. And you too." Izaya found himself being eyed by the man. "Now that I'm looking at you," he pointed, "you look remarkably like the actor who plays Harry Potter, am I right?"

There were two actors now, both in black silk bathrobes which exposed much of their bare chests. One was Honey Python, the other was a dark-haired man with round glasses. His eyes were an astonishing green probably aided by contacts. His hair looked like he'd just had wild sex. A white sperm-shaped scar poked through his bangs.

Izaya stopped grinning immediately. There was something eerily familiar about him and the more Izaya stared, the more he saw it. Suddenly the entire thing lost its luster.

The camera zoomed in as the Shizuo look-alike used his wand to part the Izaya look-alike's robes down to his shoulders.

_'You didn't excavate the cauldron properly.'_

_'But,'_ his voice hitched, ' _I don't see how that has anything to do with anything.'_

_'Such a mouth you have. Do you want to be at my office for the rest of the school year?'_

That wand tip trailed slowly down toned skin all the way to a flimsy belt.

_'It might just end up happening that way. You always seem to know when I'm up to no good, professor.'_

_'Haven't I told you to call me Honey Python?'_ The black bathrobe parted at his legs and thank goodness he was wearing some kind of underwear, even if it was black lace.

Honey Python drew it down slowly.

"Ugh," Izaya murmured. "A lace thong. Really?"

_'Professor Python, I have quiddick practice tomorrow. I'll be too sore to fly.'_

_'Mmm. There's always a spell to fix that.'_

He really didn't want to watch anymore. He would never look or act so utterly asinine.

"Well then," Izaya said and tried to get the attention of the other two from the screen. "You quite proved your point. Right. That's more than enough. And of course, my counterpart was the main role."

"I wouldn't say the main role, considering I don't recall your name and you were his bitch through the entire eight movie series. While Honey Python was an adjunct professor at Fuckwarts teaching all the kinky spells, wand positions, and sex education. And I gotta admit  _Honey Python and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkabang_  has grade A threesomes with some interesting, uh, bondage scenes. But the best sex scenes are from  _Honey Python: the Pleasure Boy of the Yakuza_... Wait a second...is that why you're on this island? 'Cause some of that was definitely not acting."

He winked at Shizuo who wasn't paying attention and was still watching the screen where Honey Python was currently tearing off his own robes. "Wait...is that why  _I'm_  on the island for hacking into the wrong computers? But I wasn't going to clear my bank account and go into debt for one video. Honey Python videos are just way too expensive to get them legally. Not that I don't support you...I'm sorry, I do pay for some. You're totally worth it. I guess it's 'cause you're famous that they didn't put collars on you two, also it's..." He kept on rambling on, but Izaya stopped listening when Shizuo spoke.

"Is that...you, Izaya?"

He glanced at the screen and saw what looked like himself being pounded into by Shizuo over a large wooden desk. His doppelgänger obscenely moaned and sputtered nonsense.

Izaya put a hand on his forehead. "Did we ever dress up as wizards and have sex over a desk? What do you honestly think?"

"No. But it looks like you...and sounds like you...ah, fuck. Can you pass me my pants."

"Sounds like me? As if you know what I sound like during sex. Please don't tell me this is actually doing anything for...you..." His words trailed off as he stepped around Shizuo and saw the hand that was obviously pushing down an impressive erection under his still drenched boxers.  _Oh._  He blinked at it then looked up at Shizuo's heated, glowering face. Izaya grinned. Beamed wickedly.

So he wasn't immune to the coconuts.

He didn't have a chance to say anything when a click went off and they both looked at the phone that had thankfully stopped that awful racket.

"Don't mind me. I'm just the camera man...no, no, no, on second thought, I call first dibs. I'll suck you  _oof_ -"

He never got to finish what he was saying as he was violently lifted and flung away. 'Ahhhhh!' There was a scream through the air. 'Fuck! That's a dick in my ass~'

"Oh, he went far." He turned his attention away from the sky and he carefully watched Shizuo pant in anger, looked at the hard-on that Shizuo resumed trapping himself down by the heel of his palm. Izaya felt a little warm.

"Don't. Don't start with me." Shizuo reached over for his pants and began to pull them on, cursing as the dampness worked its way through the material. A hot fluster hadn't yet left his face. "You think I  _want_  to be turned on by that shit? It's only 'cause the coconut, all right. I wouldn't be like this otherwise."

"Uh-huh." His tone was affected, blasé and unimpressed.

Shizuo managed to get the zipper and button on and he buckled his pants, letting the belt hang askew. There was no hiding the obvious bulge though. "And you knew what those coconuts were and you didn't say a thing!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault that you're like this?" Izaya smirked. "That's rich. I don't remember forcing you to eat four of them?"

"That's not the point."

Izaya shrugged. "But even if I did warn you, you'd have still eaten them, wouldn't you? And did I know you'd even react to them? You heard what Mura said, so you only have yourself to blame."

"Oh  _come_  on. You knew. You fucking knew you ass. You got horny the first time you ate it."

"I did," Izaya said and dropped his gaze down purposely before smirking back at Shizuo. "But not nearly as much as you."

“Whatever." He said and he put on his socks and shoes then picked up the bag. He began to head out with his hands in his pockets, cursing obscenities as he stomped. Probably making his hard-on even worse because he couldn't calm down.

Seeing Shizuo so pissed from a hard-on elicited by aphrodisiacs and awful porn— yes, porn that could have passed as them— was not nearly as glorious as it should be.

Maybe it had something to do with how much crap he felt like, his head and arm were bothering him too much making him feel weak, but the luster to make Shizuo suffer was not as doggedly needy in his mind. And that wasn't okay. 

He wanted to bellow in laughter and in unbridled frustration.

Shizuo was affected by seeing them together. But it was only because of the chemicals influencing him. Izaya wasn't stupid. He didn't want to imagine the possibility of them being together just as much as Shizuo didn't want it either.

Honestly, it would have been better if Shizuo had remained indifferent to it. At least then, Izaya wouldn't be so mad to doubt. To want and then be completely rejected for it.

A tremor went up his arms and he clasped his one hand tightly over his forearm.

He would never give Shizuo the power to actually hurt him. But as Shizuo walked away, like a dog with its tail between its legs, like he could just retreat easily, Izaya couldn't let him go without doing something. Even if it would only piss him off, he needed to say something. He needed Shizuo to realize the cosmic joke of two people who looked just like them doing porn together. He hurt so fucking much, it wasn't fair at all.

"Ah," Izaya moaned exaggeratedly, just like the terrible racket in the video. "Shizu-chan."

Shizuo's response was immediate. He went rigid and stopped, slowly turned around in bafflement and annoyance with the remnants of his obvious arousal making his expression so delicious that Izaya grinned and licked the corner of his lips.

"Need a hand?"

Shizuo's expression twisted further, darker.

Izaya played with the front of his zipper and he teasingly let it go down. Shizuo's face twitched from the effort to not look, but he did anyway and the burn grew hotter at his face and ears.

It was a vicious, triumphant smirk that Izaya moaned softly around. "You seemed to be having a good time watching that video earlier. Did you see something you liked?"

"Shut up," Shizuo growled, affected but annoyed.

"It's nothing to be bothered about, it's a natural reaction that your body responds to. You can't help it if you find me attractive."

There was a moment where it looked like either the anger or his sex drive would win, but it was disgust that Shizuo settled on.

"I'm not going to play your stupid games, you ass." And that was that. Shizuo pulled his hands in his pocket and began walking stiffly away. Of course, he wouldn't get it.

Izaya laughed. Laughed till he felt sick and tired enough like he'd drop to the ground with his arms around his empty stomach and be hurt all over. "You're the revolting dumbass with the boner," he said but Shizuo was too far to respond. Or he just didn't care. Before Shizuo could walk too far ahead, Izaya began to follow. All the mirth turned to disgust and it took him a few minutes to catch up to the other's intentionality slow pace.

Neither of them said anything as they walked and in that entire time, Shizuo's hard-on had yet to go down.

Occasionally the wind picked up around the leaves and branches. "Hm." Shizuo muttered sometime later. His voice sounded calmer. He was walking a little ahead of Izaya. "That reminds me. You were acting so uptight at the beach. Y'know, after Jakow came by and you woke up. “Makes sense now."

So Shizuo did remember that.

"Yeah? So what of it?"

"Nothing. Though..." he paused and Izaya really didn't like this line of thinking. Also, his entire arm was hurting. "You don't get off on setting people on fire, do you?"

He would have snickered, but oddly he didn't feel much of anything besides detached exhaustion. "No, I don't. You still have that boner. Do you get off on being an idiot?"

"No. I'm trying to distract myself."

Izaya scoffed. "By thinking about me? You really are a hopeless idiot."

Shizuo grumbled something that Izaya didn't catch. The wind blew around them harshly as they walked and Izaya stared up into the swaying canopy. The clouds above them were dark and heavy with storm.

"That guy called you mochi. I think a good name for the you in those pornos is Bitter Mochi, right?"

Izaya put a hand over his eyes. "No. You know what?" He asked in exasperation. "It's been twenty minutes at least and it's not going to go away with you thinking about whatever the hell you're thinking. Go behind a tree and take care of it."

"All right. Fine." Shizuo grumbled and slinked off to find a spot far enough away behind some trees.

"Don't take three hours," Izaya called.

"Shut up."

Izaya leaned against a thick tree and kept his knife ready. He scanned the foliage and watched the rustling trees. A soft wind blew tiny drops of rain that fell on his sleeves. From where he was he couldn't hear Shizuo. Now he didn't have to worry about feeling weak in front of him. Izaya gently felt his injured wrist and palm. That gentle touch alone made him feel light-headed. He grasped the stained strip of fabric around his hand and began to unravel it. He pulled at the fabric stuck to his skin, and each time he did so he gritted his teeth as pain spiked through him.

Finally, he exposed it to the air. His nose wrinkled. It even smelled wrong. He had stitched the laceration on either side and the skin around it was an angry red. White and green-yellow pus oozed from around the stitches. His wrist was a deep, violent color and seeing how broken his hand appeared made him ill. He winced as he wiped off the white liquid as best he could. Once he finished, he bandaged his hand back. He rested his head against the bark behind him.

This wasn't good at all.

Izaya closed his eyes for a moment and felt droplets as light as mist against his eyelashes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some extra Honey Python titles:
> 
> Detective Honey Python and the Case of the Missing Cock  
> Detective Honey Python in The Mona Lisa Was Stolen, Again!  
> Honey Python and Harry Potter in the Chamber of Secrets  
> Honey Python and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Cum  
> Honey Python and Harry Potter in the Order of the Penises  
> Honey Python and Harry Potter and the Half-Hard Prince  
> Honey Python and Harry Potter and the Gaping Hallows: Part 1  
> Honey Python and Harry Potter and the Gaping Hallows: Part 2  
> Honey Python Best Cum Shots  
> Honey Python: Gundam Edition  
> Honey Python: I Don't Know What Happened  
> Honey Python: The Only Sexpert in Dickology and Pussology
> 
> If you want to think up your own titles, feel free. I'd love to hear them.


	30. parfum de wet flea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was teasing him with his tongue, with his warm breath, and with his grinning lips.

He unbuckled his belt, unfastened his pants, and pulled out his mostly erect penis. He leaned forward so that his forehead was almost touching the bark of a tree as if he were going to take a piss. Shizuo hoped that going through the motions would be enough, and he tried that—working himself over like he just wanted to get it over with. But as he changed hand positions to get a feel of what best stimulated the head, all it did was make him more frustrated when he was still just as hard.

Shit. When he had been watching that dumb-as-shit video he'd been more in the mood. Like how the guy that looked like Izaya had been propped up on the large wooden desk, his black robes parting at his legs and chest, and his expression so open and bare and unlike anything that he was used to seeing on that face.

His grip tightened. Now that he started he couldn't stop thinking of the video. Whatever was in the coconut was working through his system making him feel alive. Drugged. Heady and insatiable.

Fuck! He could imagine the body under him so vividly.

There had been a twinge of discomfort at the initial intrusion, but the flea look-alike had moaned a ragged breath, his mouth softened, and he gripped the shoulder blades under his hands tightly to pull him closer.

His strokes became faster. Just as the slow and languid pace picked up. Unnaturally too green eyes peered up at him. Not at the camera, but as if he were Honey Python.

He was going rougher.

The desk creaked as if it would break any moment. His hand dragged over skin. All he could hear were those panting moans making him think that he was doing something right. The black robes were in the way and Shizuo wanted to rip the flimsy material apart. That slack, pleasured expression held more than lust. It was too intimate. He wasn't meant to see this. But he couldn't pull away from his own desire. Not when his release was a few strokes away.

It was as if the man under him knew this too. He tilted his head back, let his black damp hair frame his face, and he arched his back and angled his hips so that Shizuo could fill him completely. He came with such a rush he hit his forehead against the tree and nearly broke it in half.

He felt like an idiot. A sated idiot who just had an orgasm that literally had him seeing stars.

"Fuck. I shouldn't have done that..." He seethed. He was still high on whatever chemicals were making him feel ridiculously good, but as his head cleared enough he felt betrayed by his own dick. He glared at the offending member in his hand. It continued to be disobedient as it stayed hard.

_No. No, no, no. Go the fuck down! You had your fun. So stop._

No fucking way.

Shizuo gripped his boner and he hit his head against the tree once more. "You gotta be fucking kidding me," he growled. He closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened them in ten seconds that his boner would be gone like the world's most marvelous magic trick. He opened his eyes and his dick stood proud. Shizuo groaned. He grabbed it once more and began to jerk off. The sensation was painful, too sensitive and not yet ready for round two, but he wasn't going to stand around with his dick in his hand for who knew how long.

He didn't even care at this point as his mind wandered to that guy again. But the initial excitement had worn off. He had no idea either when those green eyes stopped being green and became a reddish brown. There was that smirk on his face that just pissed Shizuo off, but it didn't matter since he was already pissed.

Fucking bastard didn't say anything about the coconuts!

His face scowled. His thoughts darkened.

The images in his mind changed. Izaya was on his knees before him. His coat was hanging from his arms, the fur lining acting like a cape around bare skin. He was teasing him with his tongue, with his warm breath, and with his grinning lips. There was nothing nice about it as Shizuo gripped the back of his head and forced Izaya to take him in deeply.

That sly tongue curved around him, and Izaya let him deep throat him, hollowed his cheeks and opening further so Shizuo could move as he wished. And all the time Izaya stared up at him as if he knew how much this all affected him; knew how little Shizuo could control himself anymore.

There was the edge of teeth sliding delicately over the skin of his shaft, and Shizuo gripped the hair in his fingers tight enough to hurt. Izaya's teeth let up. The inside of his cheeks and his tongue- the heat and saliva- allowed Shizuo to rock forward smoothly.

Fuck. This felt too real. No matter how rough he was, Izaya's eyes never wavered. Not even when he couldn't hold back, coming like he really had gotten something more than his own hand. He sighed in pleasure and his muscles relaxed. He didn't realize the anger had left him until it seized his chest anew.

He wanted to laugh at himself. It was no surprise, really. In his own mind, Izaya spat.

By the time the after-effects of his orgasm left his limbs, finally, Shizuo had the chance to feel utterly disgusted with himself. He stood there for some time trying to make sense of what just happened.

"Of all the dumb as shit things I've done..." Shizuo groaned, "fucking stupid." But he didn't like overthinking things. He didn't want to dwell on it any longer or get even more pissed than he already was at himself.

His hands were still hot and sweaty as he wiped them against a leaf before he remembered he had hand sanitizer. It took him awhile longer to fix his pants and work up the will to head back.

In the span from when he left, Izaya had gone from slightly flushed to noticeably pale. He grinned widely and Shizuo had the sinking, uncomfortable feeling that Izaya knew what had gone on in his mind.

"What?" He said gruffly and defensively.

"You know, it takes a special kind of moron to jerk off and hurt himself while doing so."

Oh, that's right. His head.

Shizuo wiped his forearm against the blood dripping from under his bangs. The stickiness made his skin itch. "Shut it."

Surprisingly, Izaya did. He stood up, readjusted the sling holding his arm, and walked past him. Did Izaya just pass up the perfect opportunity to be a little shit? It seemed so and Shizuo was beyond relieved with the answering quiet. A few minutes later, a fat drop of water fell on his shoulder. The sound of soon approaching rain came just moments before it pelted down.

Even with the long fanning leaves surrounding them, the rain found its way through. In minutes they would be soaked.

It was a cold, slapping rain. "Come on," Shizuo said. They took cover under a nearby tree that had long waxy leaves. Shizuo slicked back the wet bangs from his eyes. He liked the smell of fresh rain on wet earth, and the air was heavy with it. There were no cars with their exhaust or wet garbage or the smell of too many people. Rain dripping on leaves was peaceful to him. He wasn't too upset to be caught in the rain, but standing next to Izaya after having minutes ago been jerking off to him certainly put things in a different perspective.

Another stretch of time, longer than ten minutes, went by. It wasn't exactly a comfortable silence, but thankfully his boner was gone because that would have been awkward. He tried to zone out by watching the rain hit the leaves.

He thought he was doing a good job not thinking about anything in particular, but then his nose wrinkled and he eyed the source next to him. "You know how dogs get wet and they always stink," Shizuo said and didn't wait for Izaya to respond. "I guess fleas are the same. Maybe it's because of the wet fleas that dogs smell."

Izaya took in a deep breath. Everything about him looked wet. Sewer rats came to mind, but nah, that wasn't even close to the truth.

"Actually It's because a dog's fur is a breeding ground for bacteria, yeast, microbes...wait, what's this...protozoans?" He grinned, looking over and Shizuo was reminded of their close proximity. "That's right, single and double celled organisms and that's why when a dog is wet the waste of these organisms release their awful smells." Izaya wiped the side of his face with a wet sleeve. Drops of water fell from fur lining. He leaned back so that he was right against the bark. His shoulder was just centimeters away from his own.

Standing there, waiting for the rain to let up was starting to look like a waste of time. If Shizuo was alone, then he'd just let the rain drench him.

"This might take a while to wait out," Izaya said, matching Shizuo's thoughts.

"Hmm." Shizuo eyed the dark clouds over them. His fingers twitched. Normally he'd smoke, but he didn't have a craving for it yet and it didn't matter anyway since his cigarettes were gone.

The minutes passed by slowly. The drumming of falling rain against leaves did not soothe him at all.

"How about a story to pass the time?" Izaya said suddenly.

"What?"

"A story or a memory. Anything."

He frowned. "You have a story?"

"I do. Many actually."

He paused as he considered Izaya's words. Honestly, it sounded tedious. He wouldn't like it. "Will it be annoying?"

"Depends. Probably to you it will be."

"I already don't like it," Shizuo grumbled.

"It's about a man and his dog. I'll stop if you really want me too."

Shizuo nodded slowly. He figured Izaya would start talking even if he said no, so might as well try to act like a willing participant. Izaya began his story a second later. "A man once came to me asking me to find his dog. He'd had it in his head that I could do that sort of thing for him and he had found my name and office. He offered me the rest of the money he owned. It wasn't much. Just a couple of crinkled up bills that he carefully pulled from his wallet and placed across from me. Though it was pretty clear he had a bill or two rolled up somewhere, he was that kind of man. I wouldn't be surprised if he had secret pockets in his underwear."

Shizuo caught the slight smirk as Izaya spoke.

"But that's not the type of work I do. I don't even like dogs." Izaya made a face. "I told him to contact the local shelters or to put up those posters, but he refused to budge till he told me the rest of his story. I figured that he'd found out about me, so that must have meant he was either desperate or had no clue what he was doing, so I gave him three minutes to convince me otherwise. He obviously wasn't your normal office worker, but he wasn't particularly interesting. You might have even dealt with this guy as well."

Izaya paused, probably for effect and Shizuo saw him from the corner of his eye, widening his smirk. "He owed the wrong sort of people money. From people worse than simple debt collectors. His wife had left him when she'd heard that he'd gambled the rest of their savings. His apartment had been stripped of its valuables. I imagine that he only had the clothes on his back and that he'd go to a different city soon before he was caught, but not without his dog. He thought his wife had it or the people who had taken his things had taken his dog too. His three minutes were up, and I had every reason to turn him away. As I said, I don't take on these types of jobs. I don't usually do charity cases."

"But I was a bit curious to what he was hiding because it just seemed so unreasonable that this man wanted his dog so much. I had all these theories. I thought maybe he'd cut the dog up and hidden his drugs or money in it. Maybe it was his wife's dog and he just wanted to hurt her more by taking it from her. Anyway, I told him to come back tomorrow at the same time and maybe I'd have something for him. Not his dog, but some information. I had his wife's name and also the names of thugs who he still owed money to."

Shizuo already didn't like this story, but he let Izaya continue.

"It wasn't particularly difficult to find out where his wife was. She was in Saitama, staying with an old friend. I didn't contact her, but I heard from gossiping neighbors that she had been beaten by her husband quite frequently, they told me it was because she was unable to conceive a child. One of the neighbors had seen her take the dog, which was surprising since this neighbor swore that the wife didn't like the dog much. But I asked others and they didn't have anything more to say except about how terrible her no good husband was and how he probably beat that poor dog too."

"It was easy to find the dog next. I thought I'd check some shelters and their websites first. And it really was that simple. The same dog was in Kansai, where it would probably be euthanized in a week. It wasn't an old dog, but it wasn't young either. It was a mix between a Shiba Inu and a Shih Tzu. Let's say its name was Shitzuo. You following me?"

"No. Change the name," Shizuo said. Water was slick against his skin and he wiped his arms and tried to flick the cold water away. More just came.

"Heh? I was just checking to see if you were listening. So the next day he comes back, fifteen minutes too early and looking like he'd slept in the park. He right away asked me if I knew where his dog was. It was almost funny. And naturally, I wanted to know how far he'd go for this dog. Because really, this guy lost everything and now he wanted his dog? A dog who he might just abuse. I told him where it was. I knew though that they wouldn't just give him the dog back."

"So I arrived at cafe across the shelter, and when he arrived, they wouldn't give him the dog. And he begged for it. On the ground full bow and sobbing when that didn't work either. I think they threatened to call the police and that scared him since he was out the doors. I then showed up and I told him if he answered my questions correctly, then I'd go and get him the dog."

Izaya began to speak subtly slow like this was the build-up to something, but Shizuo couldn't wait for it to be over. Really, was there even a point to this or was Izaya just going to go on and on? Ah, so annoying.

"I asked, who he loved more, his dog or his wife. He picked his wife. Next, I told him I knew where his wife was and I asked if he wanted to find her. He said yes, because she cleared their accounts and he still needed to pay those people. My last question was if he would beat her for running away with his money and dog. He hesitated and said no. He'd apologize to her. He thought that lying would be better. So I told him if he did all of that, then I'd give him the dog. He turned really red, but he had no choice. Hah, if he'd told the truth, then I'd have said the same. So I gave him 24 hours to do this and he needed to record it too. He had no money, probably another lie, but I still gave him back the initial payment that he had given me."

"I went in the shelter and got that ugly, smelly dog. It didn't have any scars or bruises. It was your normal, happy, mindless dog. I had someone else watch it for me. The next day he came back with the recording. Turned out he did love his dog enough to do everything he'd said. His wife had looked so scared at first, but she sobbed when he'd apologized. She was dumb enough to believe him. I gave him back his dog as promised, even though I was pretty disappointed."

Izaya stopped talking and Shizuo waited a few more seconds before speaking. "Wait, that's it? What the hell kind of story was that?"

"What do you mean?"

"You should have kicked that guy's sorry ass out your door. He was scum. A man who beats his wife obviously doesn't love her. And he loves an animal more than her? That's bullshit. Those people annoy the shit outta me. Should have left him alone."

"Not all of us can beat up those we find annoying."

"Whatever. Just saying he's probably still beating that poor woman."

"Okay then. How about you tell me a story?"

Shizuo frowned, glanced at Izaya who was getting wetter by the minute, and scowled. "I don't particularly want to."

"Come on, you have to. I told you one."

"I don't have to do anything and you told me an awful one, anyway."

"I won't be a harsh critic. If you tell me how you went to the store and bought milk and a hotdog at Circle K, then okay. That's your big story."

"That's annoying. And I don't like Circle K milk, it's too watery. They never have the milk I like in stock and their hotdogs are shit." Shizuo muttered the rest. "I only go there if the rest of the stores are closed."

"Fine." Izaya sighed loudly. "I can't expect you to have anything on the spot, now can I? Later then." Shizuo didn't respond and the rain continued to fall. The sky didn't look like it would clear anytime soon. "We should head back to that cave."

"All right." Shizuo pulled two waxy leaves from the tree. It was surprisingly tough at the stem and he passed one over to Izaya. It was almost pointless. Izaya was more wet than dry, but he took it with his only working hand and balanced it across his head like a floppy hat.

His wet shoes squelched as he walked. His pants were plastered to him. Izaya wasn't doing much better, looking like a drowning rat with a leaf. But it was kind of funny too, except soon he was too pale and his lips were turning blue. It took some time to reach their cave. Shizuo had gone the wrong direction at first and they had to follow the rock wall before spotting the large boulder near the entrance. The rain poured on them through the last stretch.

Izaya ducked inside first. "Go find some wood—not an entire tree. The drier and the more dead the better."

Shizuo didn't complain and he walked around until he found a large fallen tree and kicked it repeatedly. It snapped and he selected a few chunks from inside it. He had to hurry so that the pile he collected wouldn't soak.

Izaya had cleared some space near the entrance of the cave. There were rocks in a circle and some ripped up leaves in the center of that. Shizuo set the tree pieces down and sat across from Izaya. He wiped the rain from his eyes.

"Pass me that wood piece by your foot and the one behind it."

Shizuo did. They were small pieces compared to the others. Izaya propped them up, rifled through the black bag and found Shizuo's lighter. His hand was shaky, and water dripped from his coat sleeve onto the leaves he was sitting on. He flicked the lighter and a tiny flame set the leaves aflame, eating it through quickly and producing peppermint flavored smoke. Shizuo waved the smoke from his face.

The first few attempts didn't work, either. The wood was too wet and the leaves burned too quickly. It took a long time before the ash and embers compiled and the smoke had dried the pieces of wood. It crackled as it held the flame. They had to be careful that the smoke wouldn't become trapped in the small space, and Shizuo found himself with the job of fanning the smoke away.

He probably wouldn't have noticed that Izaya was cold if he still didn't bother to care. But now he did see the slight shakiness in his hand and the odd color to his face. Neither of them said anything about it. He probably shouldn't have been staring anyway.

Izaya sat close to the fire. He squeezed excess water from his sleeves. It was quiet when he noticeably shivered and unzipped his coat and carefully withdrew his arm from the sling. Taking the coat off from his arm looked like a strenuous task. But his coat was off and was crumpled up like a dead animal.

It reminded Shizuo of something.

"I have a story," He said without really thinking about it.

Izaya looked up from the fire with a hint of interest. He almost said nevermind, but it was too late to take it back. "So what is it?"

Shizuo frowned and poked the fire with a stick before he began to speak. "It's not really anything though."

"That's okay," Izaya said.

He poked the fire once more and by accident made some of the wood pieces collapse. He put the stick down. "When I was, I don't know, seven or something, there was this cat—kitten," Shizuo corrected himself. "It was a stray by our home." Now that he said all of this, he was feeling pretty foolish. He didn't even like this memory. He pushed the wet bangs from his eyes and forced himself to keep talking.

"It was a dark cat, black and brown with a pink nose. It had wide eyes, but maybe all kittens have wide eyes, I don't know, they were strangely big. Let's just say it was ugly with an even uglier tail."

Shizuo stared at the flames as he spoke. It helped him think about this calmly.

"It was all messed up. Something had happened to it, like the tail had been run over. The end was a red stubby thing. No one liked it and everyone stayed clear of it. But this kitten didn't notice and it liked people, meowing with this raspy voice for food. I shooed it away a couple of times too 'cause it always went around my feet like it was trying to be stepped on. Maybe that's why it lost its tail? Maybe. Anyway, I shared my milk once when no one was looking. After that, it tried to follow me everywhere. It guilted me to feed it more and I fed it little pieces of fish. I named him Burnt Korokke."

Shizuo began to frown as he recalled the bad memories.

"People noticed that this cat was hanging around and a neighbor complained so I couldn't feed it anymore. Our place didn't allow pets and I didn't have any money to take it to the animal hospital. I thought about taking the cat to a park, and secretly taking care of it, but I knew that it wouldn't work. It was the beginning of fall and it already was getting cold at night. It wouldn't survive winter. So I brought him to the only place I could think of. I was a kid so I didn't know any better about bringing animals to the police station. I could tell they didn't want to deal with me, but they were too nice to just kick me out. They lectured me about playing with sick animals, something about infectious diseases, but I was pretty stubborn and I think they called animal control or whatever they called it."

He paused. The fire grew, and he moved to add another piece of wood to the flickering flames.

"But you know what? I regretted it, years later. I remember someone took him in the blanket but I got a weird feeling about the guy...something about the way he kept repeating 'poor thing'. It pissed me off. And he didn't answer my questions. I couldn't go with the cat. But he was older and I let him take Burnt Korokke."

"I thought about it later that day after I got home and I tried finding where Burnt Korokke went, but a police officer told me he was in another district getting treatment and not to worry since someone would give him a home. I had no choice but to leave. I never found out what happened to that cat. I doubt he ever got a new home. The shelters had plenty of animals to take care of, more adoptable animals who weren't sick or deformed. He probably was put to sleep."

Now that he had finished, he remembered to fan out the smoke. Izaya was regarding him with interest. Chuckling, he asked, "you call that a good story?"

"I never said it was going to be good." Shizuo fanned the smoke a little too hard and part of the fire tumbled to the ground.

"I'm kidding." Izaya waved the smoke away from his face. "Did you regret helping the kitten?"

"Regret?" Shizuo gripped the leaf he was fanning a little too hard. "Shit, I don't know. None of that matters anymore."

"But it did matter when you were a kid."

He really didn't want Izaya to pick this apart. Because it didn't matter anymore. "Whatever, shouldn't have told you anything. Forget what I said."

"Do you even have a good story? One that doesn't involve watching one of your brother's movies."

He stopped fanning and put the leaf down. "Even if I did I wouldn't tell you it. I bet _you_ don't even have one good story."

"I do. It involves an idiot who ate some coconuts."

"Izaya..." He said in warning. Fucking hell! He could tell from the sly expression that Izaya wasn't going to just shut up. Instead of the flames he was fanning, it was Izaya's foul personality.

Izaya laughed. "I think you'll like it a lot. I have another one about a moron, this one's even better, and he's on an island filled with serial killers and he teams up with his worst enemy because this moron is the least logical man ever."

" _Izaya_."

"But his enemy is no better because he couldn't even properly kill him and now he's too mess-"

"Would you shut up?!" Shizuo drowned the rest of Izaya's words. "Fucking be quiet for a fucking minute!"

That terrible mouth was still open, ready to go off again, and Shizuo matched his heated glare. "What do you want me to do, huh? Throw you out in the rain? Beat some sense into you? Because I'm trying really hard not to do that. We just need a few more collars and then we can leave!"

"No one is meant to leave here alive, Shizu-chan. Your best bet it to build a raft and take your chances in the ocean. That's what you should do if you're smart."

"And if I did that, what would you do?"

"I'd collect the collars and if there are still more tasks then I'll," he pointed to the fire and smoke, "stir the island up enough so that it can't be ignored."

It took him a few seconds to get it. He would build a big enough fire that could be seen miles and miles away so that maybe someone could see it.

"Why don't we just do that now then?"

"I thought of it. But I'm sure they have as well. They don't want to be caught so they might have elimination plans."

Elimination plans? With the entire island? "Shit. You really think that I'd let you do that alone? We'll figure something out."

It may have been the light, but his features looked softer, less mean, as he closed his eyes for a few seconds. "You're saying this now, but it's more probable that you'll regret it." Izaya brought his hand closer to the fire.

Shizuo didn't think so, but he didn't want to argue either. "We'll see what happens."

With a light exhale, Shizuo went back to fanning. The fire crackled between them, warmth and bitter smoke easing away the chill. The rain continued to fall. It didn't look like it'd stop anytime soon. They'd have to go back out there, while it was still day. But he couldn't expect Izaya to go out there in the rain either. Maybe some space was what they needed.

He waited for his pants to mostly dry and Izaya looked warm again. "It might rain all day. I think I should go out and look around. You can stay here." He frowned before adding, "I'll put the rock in the entrance so no one can get to you. That good?"

"Yeah," Izaya said. The fire had mostly eaten the three pieces of wood and they put out the rest. "Just leave enough space for me to fit through. As if I'm going to let you trap me in here for who knows how long. You might just conveniently forget about me."

"Like I could do that. It'll only be a few hours." Shizuo grumbled. Stepping out, he was hit by the onslaught of rain. "I'm moving the rock." He rolled it closer and before it came down completely, he fixed Izaya a warning stare. "I'm serious. Don't go anywhere."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it."

Shizuo let the rock down gently.

Izaya's face was swept in darkness.

He waited a few breaths, letting the rain run down his sides wondering if Izaya would bolt the first chance that Shizuo turned his back. But Izaya wasn't in the best condition to go on his own. There was no point in leaving.

Shizuo picked a random direction that they hadn't gone before. He looked over his shoulder, making sure their shelter was inconspicuous enough, though it wouldn't matter since he was the only one who could lift that rock.

His pants, hair, and shoes became soaked in seconds. He swept his hair from his eyes and continued on.

He walked and walked and didn't find anybody living or dead. He found spots that looked like a man had recently died, but there were no collars. Mud had somehow gotten all over the bottom of his pants. His skin was cold, but it didn't bother him. When the trees began to thin out and he could hear waves crashing against the shore, Shizuo stepped onto the coarse, uneven sand.

The waves were stronger now, strong enough to swallow a man and drag him under the current. Endless gray clouds poured rain and the wind made the rain cold. He had never seen the ocean like this. He'd only ever gone to the beach on mild summer days. And yet it was still beautiful.

He turned around and went into the line of trees. Not wanting to stray too far, Shizuo made a new path that would eventually lead him back in the right direction. An hour later, it was purely by chance that he picked up the scent of something sweet.

It wasn't a sweet musky smell like some of the other plants, but something too delicious to be true. The trees were shorter here and the dirt was muddier. Growing on these trees was what he thought were unripe tomatoes, but he was pretty sure tomatoes didn't grow on trees. Nor did they smell like vanilla.

He reached for one of the heavier green fruits and picked it off. The skin was smooth and slippery from the rain and he brought it closer so that he could smell it. He inhaled the sweetness. His mouth watered. But having eaten the double coconuts taught him to be wary.

It split open easily and the smell wafted through the air like the finest perfume. Though he wasn't as hungry as this morning, his stomach rumbled and he brought it closer so that he could taste some of it.

It tasted like pudding. Like the creamy pudding with the dark brown syrup that he sometimes bought in the stores and bakeries. He figured that anything tasting like pudding couldn't possibly be poisonous so he took a bite of the yellow insides.

"Mmm." It was like biting into a persimmon, tougher than he thought but filling in a way that the coconut hadn't been. He ended up finishing the entire fruit, leaving the skin and seeds. Then he picked another. He ate four before he really thought about it. He could eat more too. He probably could sit under that tree all day eating the best thing he had tasted for awhile now.

His stomach felt fine and he eagerly picked another green fruit the size of his fist. He chewed this one slower, savoring the vanilla flavor and letting it rest on his tongue as he slowly let the taste fill his mouth. He gently placed the peels against the base of the tree.

Izaya might like them. He had barely eaten much these last four days. It would make him feel better and less bitter.

Shizuo looked around for a big enough leaf and he used it to put the bigger and ripest-looking fruits inside. He collected ten of them, then thought better of it and picked four more.

His stomach was feeling great and Shizuo ate one more as he walked. He picked up the pace and reached back in less than an hour, feeling good that he found something useful. He could go out and look for bodies again after he brought these back.

The wind and rain hit his shoulders at an angle, feeling stronger than before. He reached the huge boulder in front of the entrance. "I'm back." He said before he pushed the rock aside with one hand. He bent down, holding the fruits close to him, and eased his way in. "I found.." His words trailed off. 

There was no one in the small space. Their black bag was gone. He dropped the fruit to the floor and stepped back out into the rain. "Hey, Izaya!" He yelled and obviously there was no answer.

He couldn't have gone in the direction that he had just got back from, but Shizuo couldn't be sure which way he could have gone. The rock wall towering overhead might let him see better so Shizuo began to climb the cliff side. He was careful of the mud, wind, and slippery rocks that broke away when he put too much weight on. He blinked away the rain from his eyes and he managed to grasp the top before pulling himself over.

He saw the tops of the trees and the ocean, but the canopy was impossible to see through, even with the wind knocking the branches.

He sat there for some time scanning the trees. He wasn't mad that Izaya had taken the collars. He probably should be mad about that, but that wasn't what was bothering him.

"Of course you ran off," Shizuo muttered. "Always just sneaking around."

The wind blew harshly against his face and Shizuo had to grip the ledge he was sitting on. He still looked below him, but he honestly had no idea where Izaya was.

"I should just let you go. That's what you want. That was you saying fuck off, right?"

Izaya could take care of himself. He was the toughest bastard that Shizuo knew. And it wouldn't be right to force him to stick around when he obviously didn't want to.

"Yeah, I get it."

The wind changed course veering to the right, and for a second his nose picked up what he had smelled earlier. The unmistakable smell of wet flea. He went rigid. He couldn't let himself care. It wasn't worth it. The wind blew away and the scent with it.

But he couldn't shut off his emotions. He could never just let Izaya go before. "Fuck you too, Izaya. Pissing me off and running away."

He climbed down the cliff and ran in the direction that Izaya may have gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you QuinnC for suggesting the black sapote, or the chocolate pudding fruit, I changed it to the vanilla pudding fruit since they aren't endemic to the island (I'm so original, hahaa).


	31. Fire in my veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It never stopped being cold

He'd read enough about the Colombian necktie. It was a type of execution in which the neck was slit deep enough for the tongue to be pulled out from the open wound. Then that person would die from asphyxiation or blood loss. Of course, it wouldn't be possible to actually pull the tongue that far down. Not when the tongue wasn't nearly long enough.

But the fact that the Colombian necktie was impossible didn't make it any less comforting. What mattered was when that knife tip dug into fragile skin and some man was threatening to rip a tongue through it, then yes, for torture measures, people would be shitting themselves in fear.

As Izaya gripped his knife tight enough to stop the slight shake that worked its way up his arm and through his body, he cut a line parallel to the metal collar and dragged his knife through delicate skin.

The man was dead. He wouldn't know that someone was cutting his throat. He had already been executed. His body was taut. Agony was still apparent in the deep wrinkles of his face.

Maybe instead of the trachea, for the Colombian necktie to work, the soft underside of the jaw could be cut. Straying not too far from the chin, the tongue could be pulled out and hang there. What would that be called instead? The hanging chin? The plugged waterfall?

Izaya guided his knife against exposed cartilage and forced the knife through an indent into the trachea. He got up, placed the heel of his foot against the slim metal, and used his weight to sink the knife down. There was a crack and the blade slid in an inch deep.

It was the name of the execution that also interested him, because when such a thing sounded sophisticated and unassuming then it made it even more frightening and inconceivable. Such a thing had always been part of what he loved about his humans.

He slid the blade free and worked around thick muscles of the man’s neck. His knife was sharp, but since the rigor mortis had seized the corpse, the muscles and tendons were tougher than he had anticipated.

Izaya ignored how his own throat was closing up as he tried to saw in deeper. It annoyed him.

It wasn't a big deal.

Rain fell. Droplets freezing too pale skin. The dead man's navy suit was heavy with water.

The knife in Izaya's hand shook as it burrowed through tendons. The cold was making his grasp on the handle hurt, and the rain made his work messy. But he needed this collar. He could do this himself.

He listened carefully and looked up as frequently as he could. The ferns around him were a good cover, but anyone could walk in on him. His knife worked around the back where thick wet curls made cold, red trails against his hand. Blood spilled from the veins and carotid arteries. The ground was muddy with it.

What was left surrounded the spinal cord. He found two rocks larger than his fist, wedged one under the neck and the other one into the broken trachea, and stepped on the rock. He had to do this a couple of times and rearranged the rocks and let the bones crunch until he hit the rock on the other side.

Red and angry-looking connecting strands came apart easily when he pulled, like a scarecrow whose head tumbled off after a storm. The head was rolled to the side and became muddy with blood and rain, resting so it still faced him. Izaya eased the metal from the stump with numb fingers.

He didn't linger. He walked away wiping the blood from the collar and put it in his bag. The rain continued to pour. It never stopped being cold. Only chilling him more as the wind forced its way through the trees. He brought his arms closer to his body.

Only two more collars. He could probably find one or two more before night. If he was lucky. He’d traveled far enough away. It’d been hours and it was possible that Shizuo still didn't know that he had left.

A loud crack that could only come from splitting wood sounded close from somewhere behind him. Izaya stopped and listened intently. Strong gusts of wind continued to wrack the trees. The tree breaking could've been caused by the wind. He seriously doubted that Shizuo could even find him in this weather. Maybe he’d be pissed enough to try after realizing that Izaya had taken all of their things, but to actually track him down?

Izaya shook his head with a quiet laugh. That would be impossible.

A moment later he frowned and began to walk faster, changing his course just in case. He would go at this pace until he got tired.

He needed to find two more dead bodies while he still had what energy he had left. If he could do it before night fell, then maybe he could figure out how to deal with those controlling this game. Get right to the source.

Izaya looked over his shoulder, sensing more than hearing something was coming his way. He glanced around for somewhere he could hide, and not finding anything but trees and ferns, Izaya got around a thick tree, set down the bag, and pulled out his folding knife.

Whoever it was wasn't trying to be quiet as their footsteps were thudding and wet, but slowed as they got closer. He couldn't risk checking who it was. Realizing that his own footsteps would be leading him in the wet earth, he looked down and saw the faint outline of his own tracks.

 _Shit_.

He reached for the bag and ran. The man following took off after him and Izaya glanced back right in time to see the spear aimed for his body. He dodged it, and his muscles ached from the sudden movement. The spear embedded itself in tree bark behind him.

While he could still run, he didn't. He lifted his blade higher and faced the man who had the appearance of someone who lived on the edge of nature, leather-clad, and stance cautious but confident. A black hunting knife was out and ready. His face was thick with hair and his bangs were wet and covered his eyes. A metal collar was around his neck.

Izaya thought he could be of Slavic origin. Possibly Russian.

 _“If you're expecting to increase your time by killing me, it won't work,_ ” Izaya said in Russian. He pointed to his neck. He was about to say the same thing in English when the man spoke back in Russian.

_“I’ve killed men without the metal devices. It gives me four days instead of two hours.”_

_“Hmm. But wouldn't you rather know where the antidote is?”_

The man laughed with all of his teeth showing. “ _I know how to take this off! I’ve known for weeks. And I rip out the flesh of every man I find, but no key matches. The person I’m looking for has already died. It could have been my brother, but I killed him weeks ago.”_

 _“How interesting_ ,” Izaya said. “ _Then maybe one of these will help. Some are weeks old._ ” He had to unzipper part of his coat with numb fingers. From an inside pocket, he took out six sleek keys, two which had opened their own collars, three from the man who had tried to steal their clothes, and the last one from the Italian man he had cut out from. He tossed them over and when the man reached over to catch them, Izaya fled.  
  
It would buy him at least a minute if not more. He would try the keys out first, he was sure. And when they didn't fit, he’d come to enjoy the hunt.

If Izaya could still parkour then he would be able to lose him in the trees. But he did recall a bunch of boulders and flat rock surfaces a little ways back. His tracks would be harder to follow from there.

He changed directions. From this angle, the rain fell right against his face. He blinked the water from his eyes. He was breathing hard and cold rain entered his mouth. His sore legs were too cold to be burning, but they were close to collapsing. 

He paused to catch his breath and listen. The rain and wind were loud in his ears, drumming hard like his heart. Izaya gripped the handle of his knife harder and continued to move, quieter now.

After years of being chased and successfully running away, Izaya thought he was pretty stealthy, but this silent kind of chase set him on edge as if he were actually being hunted.

How far was the man behind him?

He looked back. It wasn't easy to see around all the trees. He shivered. The hairs on the back of his neck stood. It was the unmistakable feeling of being watched. The man was near.

He continued to run. The scenery blurred around him as he went while the rain made it hard to see. He wasn’t scared. He was just getting winded from running. But that didn’t mean he had anything to fear.

He could take this man on. He didn’t need any help.

He would have to fight close range because this was his last knife. Without it, he would be as good as dead.

The foliage parted near him and Izaya swiped immediately. His wrist was caught mid-air.

“Found you.” Part of Shizuo’s side was covered in mud. He was grinning and Izaya felt just how tight his wrist was being squeezed.

“Shizu-chan!” Izaya gasped, his breaths hard from running. He tried to wrench his hand free. If he injured that wrist too then he was screwed. “Let go of me! Now’s not a good time.” He tried to pull harder. His hand wouldn’t budge. “I’m busy with something.”

“What? Busy with being a pain in the ass?”

Even though he knew Shizuo was the bigger threat, knew that it was a bad idea to piss him off, Izaya couldn’t help it. Seeing Shizuo here was the worst thing he could imagine. What were all of his efforts for then?

“Ridiculous. You’re calling me a pain in the ass? When you can’t even tell when you're not wanted or needed?” He sneered, letting the words comfort him as they built an impenetrable wall between them. “I don't need you. I collected my own collar. Oh, that’s right.”

Shizuo continued to stare coldly. The skin at his wrist burned.

“Yeah, I took the collars. That’s why you're here. If I give half of them back you’ll let me go, right?”

He pulled at his wrist once more. Shizuo’s cool glare was pissing him off even more.

His other arm was still in its sling, useless.

“Don’t care about the collars.”

“What?” The words came out as a breathless gasp. “Then why are you here? Do you still not get it? I don't need you. I never needed a dumb brute like you.”

Izaya didn't bother to lower his voice. His entire body was shaking with the effort to pull away. “I told you to let me go!”

“I will,” Shizuo said calmer than Izaya thought possible. His tone seized Izaya with unease. “But let’s make this interesting. If you actually manage to run away, I won't go looking for you and you can keep everything you took. But if I catch you,” he grinned, harshly, “then you can’t complain about what happens next.”

“That’s-” Izaya stopped as he heard the light crack of someone’s approaching footsteps. This might actually work. He grinned, meeting Shizuo’s eyes that were as dark as the grey sky. “All right. Deal.”

Izaya reacted immediately when the hand holding him slackened. He pulled away and began to run. It was perfect timing too when he could hear splintering wood and Shizuo curse loudly.

“Arg! What the hell. You were aiming for my head!”

“Serves you right,” Izaya muttered, not chancing a glance. Let Shizuo deal with him. A tree snapped loudly in half and knocked into several other trees. There was a loud yell that was definitely not Shizuo’s. The fight ended as the man was blasted through the air. It ended too quickly.

But it was okay. He’d managed to outrun and escape from Shizuo a hundred times. Shizuo had never caught him in one of their chases. As long as he paced himself, looked out for anywhere he could hide, then he could get away.

Izaya ran and continued to run, ignoring the pain in his muscles that grew and grew the longer he forced himself to keep moving. He ignored the cold, the rain, the wind. He didn't think he had ever run so hard in his life, but it wasn't nearly fast enough as the noise of footsteps followed him. Gaining on him. Like an animal at his heels. No, it was much worse than that.

He was beginning to think whatever Shizuo was planning for him would actually kill him. He ran like he was running for his life, but only going slower and slower. He was panting too fast without getting the oxygen he needed,  swallowing the rain that managed to get in his mouth and nearly choking to keep breathing. Getting the air he needed, but drowning all the same.

The world began to spin around him. When he was sprawled on the ground, dazed, he realized that he had slipped in mud. It clung to him as he rolled over. He picked himself up and leaned against a tree. Still, his vision swam and Izaya tried to blink it away.

He could do this. It was getting dark. It was almost night and he’d be able to hide. Shizuo wouldn’t be able to find him in the dark. He realized a second later that Shizuo’s footsteps had stopped. He turned to see him standing there, watching. Coming deliberately easy and steady.

Izaya forced himself to keep going, but he knew his harsh panting and slow steps would get him nowhere fast enough.

Ah. So this was what Shizuo wanted. To humiliate him. Make him look as pathetic as possible, knowing that neither of them would ever let the other win.

But this time he just didn't have the endurance to match Shizuo’s. He picked up the pace anyway. Forced his shaking muscles to keep going. When his breathing was too ragged coming out almost wet sounding, Izaya dropped the bag and took out his knife to face Shizuo.

He grinned even through his panting lips.

Shizuo was bleeding from somewhere along his arm, but the rain had washed most of the blood away. His breathing was normal.

Izaya lifted his knife higher.

“You’re wrong, you know that,” Shizuo said and he continued to step closer. “You do need my help, but you can’t stand that, right?”

Izaya's stomach clenched painfully. “Don't even pretend that you know anything. Need you? Ugh. Disgusting. Even if I did need your help, I still wouldn’t want it.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Their distance lessened step by step as Shizuo came forward. “I didn't want your help either at first.” But before Izaya could point out the obvious, Shizuo continued. “But you did help me. You—"

“Then consider us even and done.” Izaya interrupted.

“No.”

“No?” 

“Nothing's changed. Remember when you made me say that I need you when we first agreed to whatever this was? Yeah, you remember. That didn’t change either.”

“Hah! Do you know how idiotic you sound?” Izaya lowered his knife. “I can’t stand you and I would have been fine if you weren't here. In fact, I would have been much better off. I _hate_ you.”

Shizuo was an arm’s length away when he stopped. He looked pissed, ready to snap. “You hate me. Fine, whatever. Maybe you’re right that it's stupid for us to work together if we’re enemies, but you’re not. We’re not. Not anymore.” He paused, his face losing some of its anger. “I don't hate you. You may be a parasite, but you’re not nearly as shitty as I first thought.”

It ached to hear that. Hurt in a way that drained him. Made it harder to keep fighting against him. It was inconceivably unfair. Being kicked in the gut would have been better than this. Playing with his emotions when he didn't even know it.

It was cruel.

“That’s so sweet of you, Shizu-chan. Next, you’ll be saying we’re best friends.”

“So you won’t run off again, right?” His stare was fixed and Izaya had trouble meeting it.

Even if he wanted to, Izaya wouldn’t have been able to. Not now. “I can’t complain about whatever happens next, now can I?”

“Good. I’ll take that as a no, you won’t. Then if you're done, let's go back.” Izaya watched carefully when Shizuo took the remaining few steps and grabbed onto his sleeve to pull him along. They began to walk, but it became apparent that Izaya was lagging behind. He’d used up too much energy running. “Hurry up. It’s going to be dark soon and then we’ll never find our way back.” Shizuo looked back and Izaya met his stare defiantly. Clicking his tongue, he stepped closer. “Get on my back.”

Izaya frowned as Shizuo lowered himself with his back to him. The scar there was nearly fully healed. “I’d rather not."

“Just do it.”

Izaya hesitated before he did. He lightly touched the wet skin of Shizuo’s bare shoulder before he leaned closer, allowing his weight to be carried as Shizuo straightened up. He felt hands on the back of his thighs.

“You’re freezing.”

But it was Shizuo who was inhumanly burning.

The rain continued to fall. They didn’t say anything more. There were chills down his back, and Izaya soaked in the heat that emanated from Shizuo. He continued to listen to the sounds of the wilderness.

The grey sky was turning the color of charcoal by the time they reached the large boulder covering the entranceway to the cave. Shizuo pushed it aside and from the muscles of his shoulders and back, Izaya felt the subtle power there. Shizuo lowered him to his feet and he stepped off.

His legs were unsteady at first and he leaned against the rock wall.

“Hold on a sec,” Shizuo said and he went through and appeared to be moving things from the entrance. “All right.”

Izaya slowly sat down, his back dragging against the rock wall. It was too dark to see well. The bag rustled as Shizuo rummaged through it. He found the lighter and flicked it on. The small light from the flame barely reached his face.

It was easier for the flames to catch this time now that the wood was dry. Izaya inched closer, bringing his hand near. His clothes were wet and cold and after being drenched for hours, his fingers shook as he took off his coat. He hung it on the wall.

“Here,” Shizuo said. Around the fire, he passed him something round and smooth. Izaya took it. At first, he thought it was an unripe tomato, but it felt heavier and harder. “I found these earlier today. Tastes like pudding.”

“Pudding?” Izaya brought it close to his nose. It did smell like vanilla. “And it doesn’t give you massive boners?”

“No.” He said unamused. “I had like half a dozen and I'm fine.”

“That’s hardly reassuring.”

Shizuo passed him one that he had broken in half. The peel had a tough layer. With something in his hand, his fingers didn't noticeably shake, and he steadied his arm over his leg. Izaya took a tentative bite.

The sweetness wasn’t agreeable to his tongue but he finished it anyway because he was famished at the sight of food. With careful bites, he managed to eat one while Shizuo ate one after the other. The whole cave smelled of smoke and sweetness. There was a lot on Izaya’s mind, but he kept quiet. Shizuo too watched the fire crackle between them.

Izaya was still cold but he was slowly warming up. When his pants finally dried and his sore body was demanding sleep, the helicopters came. The cold draft against his skin kept the rising burn in his veins at bay. He fell asleep some time after that.

The rain didn't stop that night.


	32. Rising Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the fire grew and more light spilled around their small space, a trail of sweat just below his neck caught the light.
> 
> He moved closer.

Shizuo added wood to the fire, watching it burn as he did so. The coals glowed with raw heat that spread through the blackening logs as it destroyed them. The flames crackled and sparks flit high into the air, forcing his hand back.

Izaya shifted in his sleep. Shizuo looked up from the flames between them. He had the fire going through the night thinking that Izaya needed it. He could still recall the shock of too cold skin against his back that didn't feel alive if not for a pulse.

Izaya grimaced. The fire must have been too hot because his face looked flushed. But Shizuo didn't think it would be a good idea to put it out completely when a cool draft kept blowing in.

He went to study the fire once more. He brought a hand closer towards the heat of the flames. Watching his hand with the fire in the background, it illuminated with color and he wondered how much it would hurt to burn. Shizuo dropped his hand to his side.

He closed his eyes to rest for a little while. He didn't realize he dozed off until the fire broke apart loudly and he awoke with a start. The flames were small and he quickly added leaves and another piece of wood.

There was less light now, just a light glow surrounding them. Izaya was facing away and the bruises along his back had yellow and green edges of healing. The stitches were nearly black where he had cut into his back. As the fire grew and more light spilled around their small space, a trail of sweat just below his neck caught the light.

He moved closer.

Izaya's face was in the shadows. When Shizuo gently rolled him onto his back, he saw how flushed he was and feel the heat of his forehead against his palm. A fever was settling in.

"Shit," Shizuo cursed. It wasn't just his head that was hot, but his torso as well. Izaya furrowed his brows, but he didn't wake. With the draft coming in and the fire so close, he would have to be moved.

Shizuo grabbed his pile of leaves and set them in the back. The large leaf Izaya was atop of broke when he tried to drag him over with it. Shizuo frowned. It was hot at the flea's back and through his pants when Shizuo lifted him.

Izaya groaned and his eyelashes slowly cracked open. "What're you doing?" He murmured.

Shizuo set him down. "Moving you, sorry."

With a grimace that Izaya probably wasn't fully aware of, he brought his arms around his sides and closed his eyes tightly. "Don't," Izaya spoke in a tired whisper. "It's too hot."

It occurred to him that Izaya would need plenty of water. He reached across the floor for the water bottle. "Hey, you want anything to drink?"

Izaya shifted away. "Some iced tea."

"I have water."

"Not thirsty," Izaya said.

Shizuo wondered if he'd have to force Izaya to drink, but then Izaya's breaths evened out in sleep.

Shizuo just had to hope that he'd get better in the morning after resting. He drank some water and placed the empty bottle out to catch the rain. Before he dozed off again, he added another piece of wood to the fire.

The fire had gone out when Shizuo woke up to birds chirping. It wasn't something he was used to, having lived in apartment buildings where the closest trees were a block over. It was the early moments just before dawn. He looked over at Izaya who was curled up on his side.

It was too dark to see much. Shizuo stretched his arms over his head, cracking bones and grazing the ceiling with his hands. He rolled his shoulders and repositioned his legs.

The rain had become a quiet drizzle. The wind too had died down, but there was a lingering mist.

From the corner of his eye, he saw the shiver that rattled the flea's shoulder. Shizuo felt around in the dark for his lighter and found it against one of the rocks. Immediately he went about starting the fire once more. As he balanced pieces of wood over coals and ash, the fire crackled as it ate up the leaves first, and Shizuo finally had enough light to really look at Izaya.

Shizuo knew right away that Izaya hadn't miraculously gotten better over the night. A rosy flush was adorning his skin and little beads of sweat were scattered over him.

Shizuo felt his forehead and it was hotter than before. He cursed thickly. How did he get so sick so soon? Why couldn't he have just listened the first time instead of going out in the rain?

Pissed, he was shaking Izaya awake before he could rationalize if this was okay or not.

Izaya slowly came to. "What?" He slurred. His eyes making obvious effort to focus.

"You're sick." Shizuo's tone was accusing, even though he knew Izaya couldn't help it. But Shizuo knew he couldn't help Izaya either. "You caught a fever, you moron."

Izaya tried to wipe away the wetness from his forehead with the crook of his elbow. When he looked up at Shizuo, it became obvious that the deep purple under his eyes weren't just shadows. "You're sick," Shizuo repeated since Izaya still hadn't said anything.

A gust of wind managed to reach them and Izaya's body shivered from the cold chill. He muttered something that sounded like cold, but it took him a few seconds to realize the word was actually coat.

His coat was hanging against the wall, and Shizuo grabbed it, feeling the mostly dry fabric cool to his touch, and he drapped it over Izaya's body.

"You need to eat and drink something," Shizuo said as he was already grabbing the water. When he turned back, Izaya was pulling his hood over his face. "You're not going back to sleep." Shizuo grabbed his coat and pushed it off.

Izaya glared. "I'm tired." His voice, raw and low, grated on Shizuo's nerves.

"Just drink a little." Shizuo forced him to sit up and he brought the water to Izaya's lips and tilted it. Izaya grabbed the plastic bottle in his hand and Shizuo let go when he felt Izaya's insistent warm fingers.

Izaya lowered it immediately and took in a few gasping breaths. "You...were going to...make me choke."

Shizuo scowled, sat back down, and gave him some room. "Then do it yourself."

Tearing a plump, green pudding fruit in half, Shizuo passed a piece over and waited until Izaya took it. Izaya looked at it balefully before taking a small bite and grimacing. Shizuo bit into his own, but he couldn't enjoy the sweet fruit.

With only one bite, Izaya let his hand fall and he slumped back. "Can't." He said simply. "Makes me nauseous."

The bite that Izaya took was small—flea-sized. He didn't make Izaya eat any more and soon Izaya slumped to the floor, keeping his arms close to his chest in what Shizuo realized was probably pain.

"Fuck," he whispered, unsure of what to do. The only thing he could think of doing was finding the remaining collars and hoping that was enough to end this.

He looked in their bag and pulled out the collars. There were seven of them in total. How many did they need per person? Eight? Nine? Shizuo was pretty sure it was nine. That meant two more. He could do that before night, especially if he started out as early as possible.

"Hey, Izaya."

Izaya stirred at his name.

"I'm going out to look for more collars. There's water here and some more fruit. I'll be back soon. Do you need anything else?"

Izaya turned his head slightly, but Shizuo couldn't see any of his face. "No."

Shizuo put out the rest of the fire. He waited for the smoke to die out. He didn't think he needed to say it, but this was Izaya and he could never be sure. "Don't leave."

Shizuo waited for Izaya to respond. Finally, he did. "I won't."

Shizuo stepped out and pushed the boulder to cover the entrance. This time he made sure that there wasn't enough space for Izaya to crawl out from. The rain had largely ended, but the air was thick with early morning mist and the clouds hadn't yet drifted off.

He looked around, thinking about which direction to go before he picked one and broke out in a swift run. The buildings were a good bet to start.

He ran for a good forty minutes before he reached the beachside. In that time he hadn't seen any dead bodies. To mark this area, Shizuo tipped over a tree and left it in the sand. The last building they had been to, the one with the chainsaw maniac, was to their left. Shizuo went right.

His feet kicked up sand as he ran. Occasionally, he would hear the wild bird calls around him and the island would become the tropical paradise that he could see, just amidst a storm. A cool sweat was working down his back. As a building came into sight, Shizuo broke out in a demanding run.

Waves crashed along the shore and nearly touched his feet. He was panting by the time he reached the building. It was the smallest one yet, looking more like a cement shack or a cabin. He pushed the door open and his nose and eyes burned as he was assaulted by the stagnant air gone wrong from the body left there to rot.

He thought that he would have gotten used to the smell, at least be able to stomach it, but obviously, that was impossible. It was too dark to see in the windowless building but he was sure something was sitting in a chair all the way in the back. The door locked when he stepped inside.

But still it was much too dark and he kicked a wall a few times until he had light and some fresh air. When a streak of pale light hit the body's chest, he noticed something off. Like his head had been kicked back in an impossible angle.

When he got closer, he saw that it wasn't kicked back but gone entirely. Then he understood why. Stained on the wall were bits and pieces of the man's head, and the rest was a pile on the floor. The collar was missing.

Shizuo broke apart the concrete wall and left. Back on the shore, he began to run towards the next building. He hoped that it would be different.

After running for over half an hour straight, the next building came into view. This one was slightly bigger, looking like it held two rooms instead of one. He went right for the metal door and opened it without needing to exert any force.

The air was musty but otherwise breathable. There was a broken window with crooked iron bars hanging off. It was just enough light to see the empty chair. Shizuo listened for any sounds of life. There were none.

Another door was left ajar at the opposite end of the room. Shizuo let the door go, and he was unsurprised that the door locked behind him. He guessed it made sense. Make it hard for the people inside to escape and easy for others to come inside.

He walked towards the other door. His shoes scuffed against the sand and concrete. The door was locked from this side and he easily forced it open.

The room was equally deserted. Confused, Shizuo stepped back thinking that he missed something. But there wasn't anything to miss when the building was completely empty. He didn't get it.

He slowly stepped out of the building.

Izaya would know. He would probably know why there were no bodies and he'd be able to figure out where to go next.

"Shit," Shizuo cursed and kicked the sand up by his feet. After running non-stop and sweating, his throat was raw and he cursed again because of course it was now that the rain ended.

He walked under the trees and checked if any of the waxy leaves had collected pockets of rainwater. He took a palm full and drank what he could. He wiped his face, needing to focus.

It was only two bodies. They had gotten six that first night.

It shouldn't be this hard.

If he sprinted to the next building and found two more collars, then maybe Izaya could leave tonight. He knew that he was a little too hopeful, but honestly, it seemed pointless to keep Izaya in the game if he was just going to be lying in the cave the entire time.

_No one's meant to leave this island, Shizu-chan._

Shizuo scowled at the voice in his head. "You can't know that for sure." He said thinly. But there was that speck of doubt that Shizuo couldn't so easily force aside. But he had to.

The fast pace he went made him feel like he was doing something. Running eased his thoughts. Eventually, he saw the grey concrete in the distance. He was panting as he made the remaining stretch, pulling open the door and letting it break off its hinges.

His eyes adjusted to the dark room and he stood there breathing hard. There were darker stains along the walls and floors, but there wasn't a living or dead body anywhere. He sent the broken door flying into a wall. It broke through, clattering loudly and sweeping up sand and dust.

"You think this is funny?" He yelled. "Making us look for an antidote that doesn't exist! Pulling off the heads of the dead? And now making everyone disappear? What the fuck is wrong with all of you?"

He collapsed down onto his back, panting hard, because otherwise he'd just take out his anger on the building. "You...assholes."

His energy felt sapped as he stared up into the grey sky. His hunger had returned, eating him up inside, but he didn't want to deal with that. Couldn't.

He rolled over to his side and sat up. He had wasted the morning chasing empty buildings. He'd make his way towards Izaya by going through the trees. With that settled, Shizuo got up and began to run.

It took hours, probably half the day, to zigzag his way back. He'd gotten off track. Frustrated, he'd somehow misjudged the distance, and Shizuo wasted even more time making it all the way to the shore to find the toppled tree in order to head in the right direction again. And in that entire time, there hadn't been a single whiff of blood or shit.

The only thing holding him back from slipping into a fit of rage was Izaya. Well, as long as the flea was sitting put. The boulder was just as he left it and Shizuo rolled it over.

"Hey, Izaya," he said and quickly dropped to his knees. He was actually relieved when the other was there, on his side, resting like he was supposed to. He almost said good.

Izaya didn't wake up as Shizuo crept near. He was curled over, looking sweaty and cramped. Shizuo was about to leave him be- go out once more to try his luck- when his nose wrinkled.

There was the faint iron smell of blood, peppermint, and something gone bad. No...not bad: foul. He leaned closer, hoping that it wasn't what he thought it was, but somehow knowing that it was much worse than that. "Izaya," he said, his voice thick and tense. "Come on, wake up."

He touched his shoulder, just a light graze, and Izaya cringed, seething in pain. His face was scrunched in tight, lips biting, and eyes squeezed tight. When Shizuo said his name once more, Izaya slowly opened his eyes.

He flinched them closed again as Shizuo placed a hand over his hot and sweaty forehead. He was burning up. "Let me see your hand."

That seemed to wake Izaya up, as he carefully drew his arms closer to his chest. He groaned, and it sounded like 'no'. The bandaged had come loose and Izaya half attempted to cover it up. "Izaya." He said in warning.

Shizuo was forced to find the cell phone in the bag, the one that was almost dead, and he turned it on waiting impatiently for the screen to light up. Aiming the hazy light down, Shizuo didn't have to move the dirty cloth to know that it was swelling badly.

"I'm going to undo the bandage."

Izaya made a pained noise as the material unraveled.

The light shined on angry, wet inflammation that was swelling so much the stitches were pulling across his skin. The unpleasant smell was coming from there, and yellow pus leaked from the wound. Sticky blood had dried down his wrist, and Shizuo let the bandage slip off completely from his palm to rest along his darkly bruised wrist.

He could only stare. Having not expected something of that magnitude, it took dragging seconds for the horror of what he was seeing to make sense in his brain.

Izaya bit his bottom lip. His brows furrowed.

"How long..." His voice was a low growl, and he swallowed to clear his voice. "Izaya, how long has it been this bad?" Shit, when was the last time he'd even _seen_ the wound?

Izaya licked his lips, and it occurred to Shizuo he might be thirsty. The plastic bottle was almost empty, and he picked it up from against the wall. "Here, drink some water."

Dark eyes peered up at him, red at the corners, and managing to focus before closing again. Shizuo gently lifted his head before placing the rim of the bottle against his mouth and tipping it. Some water trailed from his lips but most of it went down. With care, he eased him back down.

He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. He didn't have anything to wipe the sweat from Izaya's face. Next to Izaya was both the hand sanitizer and the mouthwash. They were left open.

The silence that Izaya was treating him was unnerving and he would rather hear anything, even his caustic insults. Those he knew how to deal with.

"Izaya," Shizuo said. "Do you want me to get you more water?" He waited a moment for a response. "Do you need help with your hand?"

That finally got his attention, but instead of saying anything, Izaya turned away. His shoulder bared from where his coat had shrugged off.

"Shit, you know I couldn't freaking find any collars. Not in the buildings and I searched through three of them. I didn't find anyone in the forest either. I don't know what happened. I don't. But I'm going to go back. I'm going to find two more collars. So can you just say something? Anything? You're really starting to piss me off." The last part was an obvious lie because the truth was so much worse.

"It..." Izaya began and then gritted his teeth.

Shizuo waited.

"...hurts."

Izaya's entire body shivered, sagged a little on itself, and Shizuo didn't have the slightest clue what to do or say to that.

"Okay," Shizuo said. "Okay. Can you hold on for a little longer? I'll be back before it's night. I'll bring back two collars. You'll..." He swallowed thickly. Thinking of something not stupid and pointless, and not coming with anything smart, he spoke what he hoped sounded convincing, "...be out of here soon."

Izaya noticeably tensed. He looked over his shoulder and their eyes met. From the fur lining of his coat, his one working hand gripped the leaves under him.

"I don't..." He took a breath and the pain was clear as it rattled his voice. "I don't want to die."

There was fear in his eyes. For the first time, he'd seen fear in those ever confident eyes. It caught Shizuo off guard because it was completely honest. Probably the most honest and vulnerable that the flea had ever been. And if he was actually scared of dying then he was probably in a lot more pain than he was letting on.

"What are you saying?" Shizuo started roughly, but then he understood how Izaya had taken his words. You'll be out of here. Shizuo cursed in his head. Of course instead of comforting him, he'd said the worst possible thing like an idiot. But he couldn't match Izaya's honesty with a lie. He spoke with a confidence that wasn't his own, though he meant the words completely. "You're not going to die, dumbass. You're not thinking straight. Something like this...can't possibly kill you."

However Izaya took this, Shizuo didn't know. Not when Izaya closed his eyes tightly and put an arm over his face.

There was something incredibly unsettling in his gut, twisting wrongly in a way he had no control over. 

Shizuo hesitated before speaking once more. "I'll be back before it gets dark." He waited for a response that didn't come. He grabbed the empty plastic bottle before he left. The boulder thudded in place.


	33. Flickering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not like this

Someone's kneeling beside him, and it takes Izaya a few still waking moments to realize who it is. He blinks away the blurriness because it's impossible that Shinra is there, looming over him.

Shinra beams at him. "Ah, Orihara-kun, you're awake. You know, when I got here, I thought I was going to have to dig a grave, not that I would have actually done that," he laughs with a shrug, "but you had a pulse. Though...it would have been better that you didn't wake up. Considering that there isn't anything here on the island to ease the pain. Not even a single painkiller. It's too bad I didn't have my emergency kit when they swarmed me. I guess you'll just have to do without."

Shinra pokes the fire and feeds another piece of wood to the flames. The heat makes him shudder.

It's still impossible that he's here. He can't get over that. He has to work around the dryness of his mouth to speak and when he does, his voice is shot. "Shinra? You're not really here."

Shinra hums. He's still smiling but there something dark in the shadows and it almost looks like pity. "I am. Was it that you were expecting Celty? To send you off? Sorry, but she's most definitely frantic with worry for me! I wish I could be there to see it. She's so cute when she's worried. I bet when she sees me again she'll run into my arms. Ah, wouldn't that be great? Maybe if I tell her how hard I tried to save your life, she'll be moved. But it's too bad that it's you and not someone else. It won't nearly impress her as much, but really, it's good to see you. I was wondering where you went. Never imagined that I'd find you on an island!"

Shinra sighs loudly and he reaches for Izaya's arm. The pain has him biting his lip and trying not to make a noise. "Yep, I better get started on this right away. I'd wonder if Shizuo-kun did this to you, since he's missing from Ikebukuro and must be somewhere here, but then again it's not nearly bad enough to be his doing. Not to say that it isn't bad."

There is a rope being tied around his forearm, and from where he's lying on his back, he has to crane his neck to see what's going on. The binding is tight and his pulse is throbbing there.

"You're more than welcome to watch. It's unfortunate that you'll be down one arm, but it's not like that will be able to stop you."

Down one arm?

"Shinra...you're not..." His voice trails off when he sees the sleek saw in Shinra's hand.

"I was wondering why they gave me this, but it makes sense now."

Izaya tries to pull his arm away. "Wait, hold on." His free hand grabs Shinra's white sleeve desperately but it's strange how he can barely hold on. "I don't agree to this. Stop it. I'm serious, Shinra, stop it."

"Sorry, it's the only way for you to live." The teeth of the saw drag along his skin, biting and splitting. His screams echo in the small cave.

"I'll have to burn it closed, but you'll probably pass out before then."

His arm was on fire. He woke up alight in agony. He checked his side, expecting a stub or the angry glow of flames engulfing his skin since it hurt so much, but it was dark, almost completely so. The only angry burn was the infection slowly killing him.

"It's still," Izaya gasped, "there." It was a dream. Shinra wasn't there. His arm was the same. He had to repeat that in his mind until he calmed down. He curled around his wounded arm, his muscles tight in an effort to keep still.

He had nothing to abate the pain. His fingers dug into the skin at his forearm and he squeezed down, trying to stop the impossible pain. It only made it throb harder. He had passed out when he had tried to clean the wound. In his desperation, he had hoped that the mouthwash and hand sanitizer would work, that it would do more good than damage, but he had immediately regretted it. Then Shizuo had wakened him and left again. How long ago was that? Minutes? Hours?

Izaya closed his eyes. He lowered the zipper from his hot chest, grazing damp fabric.

There wasn't much to do but rest. Try to ignore the infection that was corrupting his system, spreading through his veins, preying on him.

Sleep eventually came fretfully to him. In waves of awareness and unconsciousness as the burn would bring him back. When the light seeping through the cracks from the rock door diminished, Izaya crawled closer, needing to see if it was night or day. He couldn't fit his body through the small space as he had done before.

This was it, Shizuo had left him here to die. This was his tomb. 

All the air left his lungs. He tried harder to push against the rock and give him space to breathe. It was impossible. A part of him knew that Shizuo would come back, believed that he would when it was stupid to rely and hope on the other. The bigger part of him was shutting down. Knew very clearly that he was going to die here regardless if Shizuo decided to show or not.

He slumped to his side, too tired to push his way out when only someone as strong as Shizuo could move the rock.

Not like this. He couldn't let it end like this, with something as trivial as an infection. 

With what remained of his resolve, he unbuckled his belt, slid it from around his pants to around his forearm, and tightened it. The throb in his arm grew and pounded. He felt along for the lighter and found it near the fire pit. It took a few tries to get the flame going, and it was even harder to level it to the blade of his knife. It wouldn't be hot enough to burn. He would need a stronger flame for that but without the proper ventilation, he couldn't start a fire. In the complete dark, he brought the knife edge to his wrist and left it there, unable to go further with the unsteady shake in his hand. 

It was burning. It was better removed from his body. There still could be a chance if he'd use his own knife. If he could cut through a man's neck, he could do it to his arm, even if it meant he'd first have to break the bones in his wrist further. The blood loss would probably kill him, but that was still better than the certainty of dying from infection. It was the only way because he couldn't wait any longer for Shizuo. 

And yet, he could barely hold the knife in his grasp steady enough. He couldn't stop the shake in his arms. He couldn't do it and he dropped the knife and loosened the belt. 

As sleep threatened him, bore down on his weary body, Izaya forced his eyes open. He was terrified that if he fell asleep that he'd never wake up again.

His head hurt as he stared blankly at the black walls around him.

It was better alone. No one would be witness to this. He was sure that there were many who would be happy to see him dying.

It was better that they wouldn't know he died from something as boring and pathetic as an infection. They'd make interesting stories about his disappearance.

Izaya smiled thinking about them. But he also knew that after a few weeks, they would largely forget about him. From the minds of his beloved humans, he'd be forgotten. His existence would disappear.

He dug his fingers in the stone ground. He did the only thing he was still capable of. As long as he stayed awake then he was alive. Even if he was in pain, he could endure it as long as he kept his eyes open. Dazed, with his eyes inching shut, Izaya repeated in his mind that he wanted to live, but it soon became a string of nonsense.

As long as he could turned out to be a frighteningly short amount of time.


	34. Equalizer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this was fear. The unbearable weight of losing someone.

Beyond the canopy, a hazy pink rimmed the grey and white clouds, and streaming through were rays of light that lit up patches of the sea. The wind had softened. Crashing waves returned to a calm lull. There was a freshness to the air as the passing storm completely lifted from the island.

All of this was largely unnoticed by Shizuo as he shot through the underbrush. His breathing was harsh to his own ears. He'd spent years building up an endurance from chasing Izaya. It was the reason why he could go for so long now, even when he was exhausted and pushed to his own limits.

There was a complete lack of corpses here. Not a single mangled limb. It was as if a large part of this island had been cleared. Possibly by that chainsaw wielding man who had made an entire mound of the dead. Or it could have even been the helicopters that came last night.

Or...

He leaned against a tall tree to catch his breath. Tightly, he shut his eyes.

Maybe it wasn't just that he had the world's worst luck, but maybe this was meant to happen. This was the universe shitting on his good intentions. Like everything in his life, what if he did everything he could and it just wasn't enough? What if he was wasting his time. On someone whom he didn't even really know if he liked or not. What if Izaya was supposed to die?

The tree he was resting against cracked as he unintentionally pushed too hard against it.

"Fuck. Fucking hell," Shizuo brushed back his wet bangs. His hands lightly shook. "What the fuck am I doing? He's not dead yet." He cringed from his own words. _Yet_ _._

He didn't know if he was dead right now. "He's not," Shizuo said loudly to himself. Izaya was alive because this was the flea who got back up no matter how hard he was hit.

' _I don't want to die.'_ But what Izaya said was heavy on his mind. Making him believe otherwise.

A world without Orihara Izaya? If he heard that a week ago, he'd probably have taken off work and celebrated the entire day and mark it on his calendar as one of the greatest days ever. He'd have celebrated its anniversaries, too.

But now he knew that was sick and twisted. If Izaya died...

His body recoiled as he was overwhelmed with something at first incomprehensible. His chest was impossibly too tight. Too heavy while also being weightless. His breathing was shallow. Heat flushed his face and torso.

So this was fear; the unbearable weight of losing someone. All at once, this fear ignited to anger. To something he could manage. He was so fucking pissed at the island, at the bastards who put them here.

Shizuo began to move once more. Stalking through the trees, his anger grew. He was pissed at Izaya too, for being an ass and playing around when they could have gotten through this so much quicker... But then again, that first day when they woke up on the island, he left Izaya there, even when Izaya had said they could work together. Sure, Shizuo was absolutely positive that Izaya would have fucked him over, but he still left him chained there. He still beat the shit out of him when Izaya had gone too far. But in reality, it had always been him who had gone too far.

He was more responsible for Izaya's condition than he would like to admit. He was already feeling like shit for what was happening to Izaya. He had to do everything he could, he owed that much considering Izaya had done the same for him.

Shizuo picked up the sound of a stream trickling by and followed the noise. He looked up briefly, noticing the rich colors of the clouds. Too soon was the sun setting.

He'd get water first, then continue his search. If the sun set then he still had a couple of hours before the helicopters came. He was close enough to the smell of wet earth from the stream when a shriek broke the tranquility. Shizuo reacted immediately.

Just as suddenly as the shrieking came did it end. Shizuo followed the same direction desperately, and within a minute came across the gurgling mess. Pinned to a tree was a man bleeding profusely and choking on his own blood. A thick spear was jutting from his lower back. There were other open holes in his body. One in his calf. Another in his left bicep.

"Shit," he said under his breath as tear-filled eyes turned towards him and widened. He stepped closer. Something snapped, like a branch, and his head jerked forward making his teeth click together and he bit the inside of his cheek. A wetness was running through his hair, and Shizuo turned, saw the hairy man who was holding the broken tree branch, and moved before his still jumbled brain could become fully aware.

"You asshole!" He grabbed the man by the front of his shirt and pushed him close enough to see who this fucker was. His features were like nothing Shizuo could recall ever seeing in Tokyo, even with the influx of foreigners. He stank so much, that Shizuo lifted him high in the air. "You know, you took your sweet time killing that other guy. Were you hoping to do the same to me? Because the way I see it, it probably means you'll really enjoy what I'll do to you!" The crash the man made as he flew into a tree was heard from kilometers around the island.

"You can't fucking complain when I kill you!" He stomped over to the wreckage of the tree and man. "Not when you tried to kill me first!" The man gaped at him in fear, but he was unable to move as one of his legs was twisted and the bone was protruding from it. His other arm was caught somewhere behind him. His yells were all unintelligible.

Shizuo was so wired, so pissed from the stress, and finally seeing a collar that he spent the entire day searching for, that he moved without hesitation. He put his foot down hard on the panting chest and grabbed the man's head, right near his neck at his erratic pulse point and spiky damp hair. The twist came a second later. And Shizuo watched the absolute fear in the man's eyes as his neck was forcibly broken and then his head was torn—wet sounding and crackling—from his neck. 

Blood sprayed hot against his skin and pants. He continued to glare into the now dead eyes, but his own eyes widened as his actions caught up with his mind and he promptly dropped the man's head. It plopped into the pooling blood, and Shizuo backed away.

"Fuck, oh fuck," Shizuo whispered. His fingers twitched. They were covered in the blood, and Shizuo could only dumbly stare. "Fuck." He hadn't meant to...to do _that_ while the man was alive. "Shit."

He still felt the after-effects of the blow to his head, and Shizuo closed his eyes for ten long seconds, trying to breathe deeply. "It's okay," he said. He avoided the blood seeping into the dirt, reached for the collar, and slipped it off.

"It's okay," he repeated when he turned to the man pinned to the tree. More blood was spilling down his sides and the man squirmed as Shizuo approached. He couldn't understand the garbled up words, but he could guess what the man was sputtering as blood spewed from his mouth. ' _Stay back...please...stop, stop, stop.'_

He could have pulled out the spear, let the blood spill out of him faster so that he'd die, but Shizuo didn't have it in him to cause the man any more pain, so he stepped back and sat behind a tree and waited. He wiped his hands against the dirt, but it didn't make them any cleaner. The metallic scent of blood was heavy in the air.

He killed a man. Violently—no, barbarically—with his bare hands.

Izaya was right about him all along. He really was a monster.

By the time dusk had passed, and the trees and shapes became obscure, Shizuo got up and went to see if the man was dead. The man's forehead pressed against the wood and his arms were slack; he didn't stir when touched.

Shizuo tried to make this less messy, but that wasn't really possible. The skin was warm when he dropped the head to the ground. He placed the collar at the crook of his elbow where the other was, and then remembered the plastic bottle that he had dropped earlier and picked that up.

He walked at a brisk pace. First to the stream that he had heard earlier. After refilling the plastic container and stepping into the water to do a quick rinse, Shizuo began to head back towards the cave. It was too dark to run now that the sun had set, and Shizuo cursed his stupidity as he had to make his way in the dark of the forest.

He didn't even have his lighter, so he couldn't start a fire and walk around with a torch. The only thing not making it so that he ran into every tree in his path was that the trees weren't too close together, and if he went with his arms outstretched, then he could avoid walking into them. It took a painstakingly long time, and more than half the time he was worried if he was going in the right direction.

When the clouds drifted away from the crescent moon, Shizuo had enough visible light that he could go in a light jog. Eventually, the scenery was beginning to look more familiar than a bunch of endless trees, and he saw the black looming shape of the cliffside. Then the jutting rock.

He gently rolled the boulder out of the entrance. "I'm back," he said, "Izaya?" Unable to see inside, he held his breath as he stopped to listen. There were the faintest sounds of breathing.

Not expecting Izaya to be so close to the entrance, he nearly crawled completely over him, but it didn't seem like Izaya was awake enough to notice. He was careful as he felt around the ground. The lighter brushed against his hand, and Shizuo quickly flicked it. He threw some leaves amongst the coals, set them ablaze, and added a few pieces of wood. Once the fire was strong enough to see by, Shizuo checked on Izaya.

It was obvious that Izaya wasn't any better. His skin was flushed, still damp, though not as sweaty looking. The bandages were covering the infection, so he couldn't tell how his arm looked. Shizuo went to check his temperature, but stopped and hesitated seeing his hand reaching for Izaya's head. He pulled back. Instead, he lightly touched his shoulder.

"Hey, Izaya," he said and tried to shake him awake. "I got the last two collars and I have some water for you, too. Sorry, I took so long." Shizuo nudged him again. "Hey, wake up, Izaya. We have nine collars."

Shizuo ran a hand through his hair, it was crusty at the back from the blow he had gotten earlier. He thought maybe Izaya needed some water, but then he wasn't sure if that was a bad idea or not if he could choke on it. When Izaya still wouldn't wake up, Shizuo searched in the bag for the other collars, stacked them next to Izaya, and waited for something to happen.

Nothing did. He counted them once more. There were nine in total. "I got all of the nine collars, now what?" What else had Izaya said about them? They had to be undamaged? Shizuo brought each one to the light of the fire and checked the smooth metal for dents. All were undamaged as he could perceive. Were they supposed to be touching Izaya?

He laid them on Izaya's chest and expected something to happen. Still nothing. "Okay? What the hell? What kind of bullshit is this? I got the collars, what more do you want from me?...Hey?"

What the fuck? What the fuck was he supposed to do? He ripped off heads. He killed a man. What the fuck more did they want?

He picked up one of the collars and glared at it. "We did what you wanted. Izaya's alive all right, he's alive." He was close to slamming the device down into the ground, but that would just mean he'd have to go out and look for more. "So get your ass in a helicopter and take him off this island. Does anyone fucking hear me? He's still alive. These are his collars alright, not mine, so get him out of here. I said, these are Izaya's collars. You hear-"

' _Congratulations, Orihara Izaya.'_

The collar flashed. ' _You have finished the second task._ _You have lived half your life playing games with other people. Convincing others to take the fall from your own deceit. But you have proven yourself willing to look inward, rather than outward. To give up the one thing you rely on in order to go on living. You have won the game and the right to live. We will come to retrieve you soon.'_

Shizuo put the collar he was holding down. It glowed green before fading out. "It worked." He breathed in quietly. "It fucking worked." He did it. Someone was going to get Izaya out of here. "See, you weren't right. You can leave here alive. You're going to be fine." He took a deep breath and leaned against the wall of the cave.

All he had to do was wait, sit patiently. Even though he had been moving for most of the day, the heavy anxiety hadn't left him. It was in his limbs, making him feel both jittery and lethargic.

The flames were dim by the time the sounds of helicopters were approaching. Shizuo lifted Izaya in his arms, mindful of his bad hand, and stepped out into the dark of the night. A bright light, blinding in its intensity, shone down on them. He squinted his eyes.

Men in black descended from ropes. Six of them in total had black shiny helmets and long rifles. The helicopter hovered overhead, and the tree branches swayed from the wind. When their feet touched the ground, their guns pointed his way, and Shizuo instinctively brought Izaya closer to his chest.

"Heiwajima-san," one of the men behind the helmets yelled. "Put Orihara-san down, lift your hands behind your head, and take five steps back. We will fire if you make any sudden moves."

"What the hell? I'm not going to do anything!" Shizuo yelled back, but that seemed to be the wrong thing to do when a few of the guns were cocked and aimed higher for his head. They were obviously wary, for good reason. But Shizuo didn't like it.

"Put him down and take five steps back."

"Yeah, I heard you. But I'm going with him."

"There are only enough collars to allow one person to leave. Either you or him. Make your choice."

"I'll return to the island once I know that you guys put him in a hospital."

He could hear the distant sound of blades whirling as other helicopters came to clear the dead from the island.

"He'll be given medical care. But you can't come with us."

He looked down at Izaya who still hadn't woken up at all. In the blaze of the white light, he was as pale as the ashen dead. Maybe if Izaya was awake he would know what to do, could reason with them, but he wasn't and Shizuo only had his gut feeling with him that knew something was off. And the longer he focused on that terrible feeling, the more he knew with his entire being that he couldn't let Izaya go.

It was almost too easy. Too clean that it could only be anything but.

Because what the hell was he doing giving Izaya to these people? To the bastards who put them here. Who wanted them dead.

"You think I'm stupid?" Shizuo yelled. It was only because he was trying his hardest to contain his anger that he was still coherent. "You think I don't know what you're going to do? You're just going to kill him!" His voice broke out in a yell and his shoulders shook. "He's alive, and you bastards are going to..."

_Oh...oh, fuck._

His eyes closed, as he could clearly imagine what they would do. Exactly like what they were going to do to all of the bodies they were gathering they would do the same to Izaya. Fly over to the furnace and drop him in. Let him burn alive.

"You're going to cremate him." He said this softly to himself, then repeated it in a yell. "You fuckers are going to cremate him!" The only thing stopping him from going into a fit of rage was that he was holding Izaya. He would have to put him down, quickly before he lost himself completely in his consuming rage. While he had this chance, he might be able to take a few of them down. Kill a couple of them before he was littered with holes. He slowly lowered Izaya to the ground.

"Heiwajima-san." His name was repeated a few more times and Shizuo looked up sharply, ready to just beat the fuckers up. "How about we make a different trade? One that will be suited to your liking."

"Hah?" He was losing his patience fast. Already more than done with all of this bullshit.

"The nine collars for this?" A metal briefcase was opened. Inside were white packages, bandages, bottles: basically a complete set of medical supplies. It was crisp and sterile and caught the light. He examined it hard, trying to see the hidden snake or vial of poison there. It looked real enough.

"Deal," he said thickly. "I'll get them." The collar devices were in the cave and Shizuo had Izaya, like a dead weight, against his chest. He put him a little ways into the cave, grabbed the collars, walked towards the black-clad men, and tossed the collars to the ground. With his hands in his pockets, he backed up. The man holding the silver suitcase came forward, and when he collected the collars, he left the suitcase sitting on the ground. Shizuo waited for them to leave and for the light to move elsewhere before he grabbed and carried it back with him to the cave.

Shizuo set it up next to the fire and it easily clicked open. Everything was neatly inserted in black foam. There were multiple vials, packages with clear fluid, syringe needles, bandages, wipes, tubes, a bottle of saline solution, pill cases, medical tape, scissors, and gloves. He stared at it all blankly. There had to be instructions somewhere. He lifted some of the supplies then the back padding and found the folded square of paper taped to the case.

Easing it off, it opened like a pamphlet and a tiny piece of paper fell out. He turned it and read the neat penmanship.

_Not everyone is betting against you._

It wasn't exactly encouraging, but Shizuo did feel a little better about the medical supplies. There wasn't a name and he flipped it around before putting it down. The pamphlet had different sections. The first one was about injections, the doses, method, and antibiotics that were unpronounceable in English. There were sections on IVs, emergency blood transfusions, and pills. Some had tiny pictures, but most of the directions Shizuo doubted he could follow.

The shots seemed straightforward enough and he cleaned his hands with hand sanitizer. Izaya's coat was in the way, so he unzipped the jacket and maneuvered Izaya's limp arm that wasn't injured out of the sleeve. Cleaning the area of skin with a wipe was easy as well. He triple checked the bottle name before taking out a syringe needle from a clear package. He opened the cap and fit the needle through the opening.

"Okay, five milliliters," Shizuo read aloud. When the liquid was at the right mark in the needle, Shizuo went to Izaya's shoulder, lifted the deltoid muscle, pushed the needle in cleanly and deposited the liquid. He pulled it out. "shit, I forgot to tap the needle." He did the other doses right this time.

Next on his list was the drip IV, and Shizuo read the directions and squinted at the minuscule pictures five times over before putting the pamphlet down in frustration. He paused.

 _The fuck?_ There was no way he could follow all of those complicated directions!

He could remember the numerous times he had been to the hospital and had IVs inserted in his arm when his skin was still capable of being pierced by needles. But that was over ten years ago, and he hadn't really been paying attention when the nurses hooked him up.

But Izaya needed the fluid in him. He figured that if he did it step by step and as slowly as he needed to, then maybe it was possible. The first thing he needed to do was hook the bag up, and he did so by finding a groove in the rock wall. Sterilizing the skin was next, and Shizuo cleaned his own hands again, then remembered that he had gloves and put on a pair. He then got the supplies out and ready, since it mentioned that part of the time he would only be able to use one hand. Just getting the bag set up properly took a frustratingly long time, especially figuring out how to get rid of the air bubbles from the long tube, but he eventually managed it and it looked like the picture.

Inserting the needle was the difficult aspect. He tied an elastic around Izaya's forearm, then examined his pale skin at the back of his hand for a vein. He poked around at the different veins, completely unsure which one to choose. "Fuck it," he muttered and picked one that looked big enough. Positioning the needle the right way, with the bevel upward as the picture instructed, he eased the needle into his skin at a shallow angle.

Blood began to fill in the plastic, and Shizuo paused, reading the instructions some more, and pushing the plastic piece along the needle without pushing the needle in further. When it was far enough in, he removed the tie from Izaya's forearm and then slowly took out the metal needle. The plastic piece stayed on and Shizuo breathed in relief. He had to hook it with something that would test that the fluid was going through it and it worked. He was able to screw the ends of the tubes attaching it to the IV bag and he set the dial at the 1000 mark. Lastly, he placed a transparent dressing over Izaya's hand.

Shizuo sat back, half expecting the bag to burst or for his arm to swell, neither of which happened. The fire was becoming dim once more and he put in another piece of wood.

What was next was cleaning Izaya's wound, and he was extra careful as he removed the rest of the black coat off. The once white bandage was stained red and brown. It was loose around his arm, and as Shizuo unraveled it and peeled the last layer away, the smell became stronger.

It was worse than this morning. It looked darker too like the bruise was spreading or a deep purplish rash was beginning around the most swollen areas.

Shizuo picked up the white square bottle of saline solution and broke the seal. He had to make sure that he didn't touch his wrist as he lifted his arm and doused both sides of the injury with a generous amount of clear liquid. He placed the container back in the case and then searched for something more to apply to the wound like a topical gel.

A yellow tube, similar to a small tube of toothpaste, rested in the corner. Shizuo examined the English words, reading _antibiotic_ and _infection prevention_ and translating that to what he thought was equivalent in Japanese. He applied it to both sides then added a gauze. All that was left was to wrap new badges to his hand and Shizuo counted that there were enough in the briefcase to change the wounds frequently. He evenly rolled the pristine white material around his hand to his forearm and secured it.

He remembered the cut and stitches in Izaya's back. Lifting him up, Shizuo applied the same saline solution and topical cream before putting a large gauze over it and medical tape around the edges. He settled Izaya back down, checked that the IV was still working, and then rearranged Izaya so that he looked moderately comfortable. Including using his coat as a pillow.

He thought that was everything he could do, at least until Izaya woke up. Well, if he did wake up. An hour or so passed and Shizuo had anxiously watched Izaya sleep. He wasn't sure if any one of his breaths would be his last.

Seeing him resting, as if he only had a bad case of a fever, Shizuo imagined that he'd wake up at any moment. Maybe with a gentle shake.

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Hey, Izaya."

Of course, he didn't expect a response, but he continued to speak anyway, hoping that Izaya would wake up. "Today was really shitty." His head leaned against the solid wall and his shoulders slumped in exhaustion. He spread out his long legs in front of him. "I think it was the shittiest day of my life. Even worse than when I jumped in that heap of dead bodies or the day I got shot twice." humorlessly, he laughed. "Or the day I met you."

Crackling, the fire popped and embers danced.

"I killed someone today." He paused and looked away from the fire. "I was searching all day for those damn collars, and two men came running my way. One was already going to die, but the other pissed me off and my body reacted like it normally would, except this time I was staring at the guy's detached head in my arms. I didn't mean to do it, and you know, I do regret it. But I'd still do the same thing over again...I guess that does really make me an idiot, huh." Izaya remained the same.

Shizuo ran a hand down his face and tipped his head down. He was incredibly tired. He had little to eat the entire day, but oddly he wasn't hungry. His stomach was clenched tight as if he was too sick to eat.

He forced himself to stay awake and occasionally he'd take small sips of water and check up on Izaya. Feel for his pulse, or watch the slow drips of the IV. He'd have to replace the bag soon.

The longer Izaya remained looking no better, the more he began to think that maybe he did something wrong. Put in the wrong dose, didn't administer the shots correctly, or just did a shit job in general. Like he fucked up entirely.

He didn't know if Izaya losing the flush to his skin was a good thing or meant that he was dying.

When the birds began their shrill chirps, Shizuo had the urge to pace around, especially after sitting the entire night, but leaving wasn't an option. He stretched to relax the stiffness of his muscles.

The black of the night began to soften and it was still dark that when Izaya's hand stirred, he almost missed it. He would have too if he had blinked. He moved closer to see if he would wake up. He didn't. After a few watchful minutes, Shizuo wasn't too sure if he'd just made it up in his head.

Morning passed. The heat of the day began to pick up. It was still cool in their small space and Shizuo let the fire die out.

The water bottle had been empty for a while, and Shizuo deliberated for some time about refilling it. He figured that if he ran, he would return within thirty minutes. Checking to make sure everything was as it should be with Izaya, he moved to the entrance and said, "I'll be back soon."

The run helped ease his mind. The cold water running through his hands and over his head was soothing as it washed off some of his fatigue.

Nothing had changed when Shizuo returned, and he sat down heavily with his arms on his knees. After a few minutes, he couldn't help but feel the need to sleep. If he wasn't careful, he might just nod off and Shizuo pinched the skin on his forearm to stay up.

"Ah," he muttered suddenly, as it just occurred to him, "I forgot the shots." Izaya was supposed to be injected with two of the medications three times a day and he supposed now was a good time.

He got a new needle ready with the correct dosage, pushed it into the muscle of Izaya's shoulder, and used his thumb to inject it. Izaya grimaced.

All of his focus became more aware. "Izaya?" Shizuo pulled the needle out immediately. He moved closer. "Izaya, you're awake? Hey?"

His expression smoothed out, but Shizuo was too much on edge to just leave Izaya be. "C'mon." He got another needle ready and jabbed it slightly harder in Izaya's shoulder. He pulled it out and a bead of blood formed there.

There was a groan this time. Izaya's body shifted away and the sweep of his eyelashes moved, then slowly blinked open. "Shi-"

He hadn't realized how close he was until he was propping him up, his arms around his back pulled him in close. The skin against him was warm. Not burning up. Shizuo felt the sharp intake of breath that Izaya took. Feel it as close as if it were his own.

He was alive and it was fucking amazing.

"Shizu-chan?"


	35. The peaceful island and the madness it contains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Depends, you going to hold my dick, too?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's certainly been some time
> 
> I am super excited to share with you all that I have my first ever fan art by Charamaffle [here! It's so freaking amazing](http://charamaffle.tumblr.com/image/150491382499%20)
> 
> Thank you, everyone, you all make me so happy to write more!

Something was jabbing him in the shoulder. His head was stuffy– heavy and sluggish like he was fighting his way out of a dream. No, not a dream, but a nightmare that wanted to take him in his sleep. He shouldn't be aware or be able to feel something sharp prick his skin. Had Shizuo...? His tongue was thick as he tried to speak.

He struggled to keep his eyes open and focused on the black shapes around him. It was harder as his body was moved. Arms wrapped around him and a chest press against his own.

He breathed in what had become familiar to him these recent days: skin that smelled of smoke (so unlike the cigarettes that had clung to him while in the city but of fire) and sweat and blood.

His body began to relax. He was alive when he should be dead. The warmth against him was real.

But it shouldn't be.

His brain was too lethargic to process the missing information. He’d been burning in pain but now even that had dulled. But the most incomprehensible thing was why Shizuo was embracing him too gently that made it all the more unreal.

“Shizu-chan?” The words sounded off and unlike him. It was a pain to swallow and clear his throat. Whatever expression Shizuo was making was lost somewhere past his shoulder. It was the relief of being alive that caused Izaya to allow this. 

“You shitty flea...almost dying on me.” Shizuo’s voice was low and rough, spoken directly into his hair. 

His eyes began to better adjust to the dark of the cave. A sliver of light bisected the ground, right over his legs; the warmth through the fabric was real. Where his arms were, somewhere between them on his lap, he could tell Shizuo wasn’t putting any pressure there, but they still felt too stiff to move. He didn’t want to think about his hand, not when he could pretend for a little longer that it was fine. 

Just as he was shifting his weight towards Shizuo, he was suddenly let go. Izaya would have fallen back if Shizuo's hands weren't already at his back lowering him. He groaned as his head swam with dizziness. He waited for the moment to pass and closed his eyes tightly.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” Shizuo spoke quickly, and Izaya didn’t really get it. He’d actually been feeling good for once and now that he was becoming more aware of his body, Izaya realized just how stiff and sore he was. Also, his bladder was impossible to ignore.

His mind was foggy when he finally opened his eyes and stared up at Shizuo. He looked worried and Izaya would have laughed for the sheer absurdity of the situation. Did Shizuo even know the stupid face he was making? Or maybe he was seeing things in the dark. He squinted to see if maybe it was all in his head; this at least wasn’t.

“You okay, Izaya?” Shizuo asked.

Something was weird with both of his arms, and Izaya had to crane his head to see what was going on. He couldn’t see the state of the wound or the swelling infection in his hand because there was a clean white bandage there. His other hand had a tube coming out of it, and Izaya stared at it blankly before looking back at Shizuo.

He licked his dry lips before speaking. “Was Shinra here?" 

Shizuo frowned. “No. Why would he be here? I did that.” 

“Really?” Izaya mumbled. “I think I had a dream about Shinra.” It took obvious effort to sit up when his body was beyond exhausted, and instead, he tried to find a more comfortable position. The leaves crinkled under him as he shifted and Izaya found his coat on the ground where it had been bunched up as a pillow. He didn't bother putting it on when the tube was still in the back of his right hand and made his entire arm odd to move. That might have something to do with the placement of the IV, but considering Shizuo had done this, he should just be grateful it wasn't stuck somewhere else like his kneecap. 

“Where’d all this come from?” Izaya asked.

Shizuo studied the coals in the fireplace. His response came a pause later: “From them. I traded the nine collars for the medical supplies.” 

Izaya waited for him to elaborate and he continued when Shizuo didn't. “And they just gave it to you?”

“No.” He said it bitterly and Izaya saw how tired he really looked. He rubbed the back of his neck and took a stick to poke at the scorched wood. “I got the nine collars and they said congratulations to you and that you won." The stick snapped in his hands and he dropped the end. "They were going to get you and some other crap. A helicopter came and men came down and I got a bad feeling about it...I thought they were going to,” Shizuo made a face, a cross between a frown and a scowl, and then he looked down at his fists. “Kill you or something. Burn you alive in their crematory. Shit, I got pretty pissed and I’m surprised they didn't just shoot me because they were shouting at me. I wasn't just going to give you to them and before shit really got bad they offered another deal. The collars for their supplies, and I agreed.”

The quiet after his words was heavy. If this was about anyone else, Izaya could play this off with bored interest, but as it was about him, a cold, tingling dread traveled all the way to his fingertips. If Shizuo hadn't realized what they were planning then they really could have dropped him in the crematorium or had done anything they wanted to him. 

Shizuo could have given him up unknowingly or even knowingly but he hadn't. The gratitude that Izaya felt was expressed in a softness that was rare from him.

"Thanks,” Izaya said and meant it.

“Yeah,” His voice was exhausted, his face too. “So you’re okay?”

“Of course,” Izaya grinned. His tone was light enough to be playful, but it wasn't. “You did take such good care of me, Shizu-chan. Never thought I’d ever say that, right?”

 Shizuo tsked. “Yeah, well, we’re even then.”

Izaya wouldn't exactly call it that, but if Shizuo wanted to think that, then he’d let him. As he took in a deep breath, it stretched across his skin, over the edge of bones where his ribs were beginning to show. He knew his body was starving for nourishment and now he was feeling it deeply. There was still that pressing thought running through his head. He waited till Shizuo met his eyes once more to speak. “And what was that hug for?”

"Oh, ah...sorry, I wasn't really thinking. I kind of just reacted.” Shizuo's hands tightened minutely against the fabric of his tailored pants.

If Izaya had been sitting up, he would have shrugged. Instead, he closed his eyes. “Of course. I kind of expected something like that.”

Shizuo made a low noise from his throat. Neither of them had anything to add to that and as the calming sounds of nature stretched in their silence, Izaya almost settled back to sleep.

 “Do you want some water?” Shizuo asked, and Izaya didn't miss how unusually subdued he sounded.

From his teeth to the inside of his bottom lip, Izaya swept his tongue. He was thirsty, undeniably so. He took the offered water bottle that Shizuo had already uncapped, and he painfully sat up. The plastic crinkled loudly to his own ears as he tipped it to his mouth. Half the water remained when Izaya passed it back. He was also reminded of his already full bladder. “Ah. I really have to take a leak.”

There was just enough room at the entrance of the cave that he could slip through, but as he moved and put some of his weight on his right hand, he remembered the IV. Shizuo did too as he took it down from where it was against the cave wall. The bag looked like it had a quarter left.

He was mildly surprised when Shizuo didn't just drop it in his lap but carried it with him as he shifted the boulder to make more room. “You coming or what?”

“Depends, you going to hold my dick, too?” He muttered.

“What was that?”

Izaya was tempted to repeat himself, but it wasn't really worth pissing him off. Especially with Shizuo holding the bag, he could easily rip the tube from his hand. “Nothing.”

Shizuo gave him a look which he ignored.

His muscles were sore as he went out and he shielded his eyes from the bright light. It was quiet with the soft buzz of insects. The sun was positioned somewhere at afternoon. Now in the light, it became apparent the fluid in the IV was slightly tinted.  

Izaya was unsteady on his feet at first, but even if he was a little slow he could walk on his own. He would feel more like himself soon once he ate and washed off the sweat that had dried on his skin. But right now he didn't care how gross he felt. He just really wanted to take a piss, and when he did it felt like the longest in his life: possibly Guinness world record status, if not that then a close contender.

Shizuo was still watching the area when Izaya finished. His hands were in his pants pockets and maybe it was because he was tired that he was slouching. It was hard to imagine that this was the same man who less than a week ago used to howl in rage the moment they crossed paths. His bartender uniform was down to his ruined pants while his sunglasses were missing. He was definitely dirty and rugged with soot smudging areas of his skin.

“What?” Shizuo said lowly, though it didn't have the usual bite.

“Ah,” Izaya thought quickly. “Just thinking how long that took.”

“What?” He repeated with a frown.

“To relieve myself.”

“Oh,” Shizuo said. “I don't know. 38.26 seconds.”

“What? 38.26 seconds? It was _much_ longer than that. And why would you add the point 26? Were you actually counting?”

“No.” Shizuo looked offended. “Who the hell keeps count of that? I just thought you wanted a specific number.”

“Yeah, okay, maybe if you were a stopwatch I would, which you're not.”

“Whatever.” Shizuo muttered. “You're the one who asked.” He turned away to walk back and Izaya had to follow or else risk the tube connected to pull.

He wasn't exactly glad to be back in the small enclosed space, but sitting down let him catch his breath. The bottle of hand sanitizer was next to the briefcase and he used some on his hand. He still had to look at how his wound was faring. It was painful, but this was nothing to how it had been before. 

While he was examining the snug bandages along his hand and wrist, the smell of vanilla came from where Shizuo had cut open one of the fruits. An all-consuming, intense hunger cut through him. He’d been hungry before, but never had he been stricken with the absolute need to eat.

The seeds came out looking like peanuts, and the inside was the color of a bitten apple. “Here,” Shizuo said and passed half of it over.

The peel was wet and sticky as it rested in his palm. He said his thanks and immediately put it to his mouth. It might have been because he was starving, but that first bite of pudding flavored fruit was the best thing he had ever tasted. It was better than when he had tried it before. He ate the entire piece in less than a minute all the way to the peel. He ran his tongue up where the juices had dripped down his arm, tasting the salt and bitterness of his own skin.

“Don’t start eating your own arm, too.” 

Izaya looked up. He shrugged with a grin as he licked the tips of his fingers. “But it’s delicious,” he said before he took another. He had three pieces total before his already shrunken stomach filled. He had to force himself to stop or else risk being sick.   

Shizuo had a couple more than he did. There were also five of them left. Enough to last them the rest of the day and possibly the morning, but after that, they’d need to find more. But even more pressing was what they were going to do next. He had some ideas, but Izaya couldn't fix his thoughts yet until he was sure he had all the information that he could get from Shizuo. But this relied on Shizuo's memory.

Once Shizuo had finished eating, Izaya asked, “hey, after you made the trade did they tell you anything else?” 

“Huh, like what?” 

“Like if we had to collect all of the collars again, or if we just needed eight more? Was there a third task that they gave me?” 

“I don’t know. We just made the trade and they left.” 

“So you didn’t ask?” Izaya asked calmly so that Shizuo wouldn't get annoyed. 

“No. I was preoccupied.” Shizuo said. “With keeping you alive.” 

“Yes, and you did a great job. But was there anything else? Before then?” 

“I don’t know. It was annoying as hell. Took them freaking forever to respond to the collars. I thought maybe it didn't work at first. But yeah, that's the important stuff. Oh. Oh, wait. I got a note that came with the medical supplies.” He riffled through the contents of the metal briefcase. Though Izaya hadn't had the opportunity to check for hidden cameras or recording devices, he was positive that they were being watched now. “Shit, where did it go?” Shizuo lifted the case and the contents clattered as he dropped it all back down. A piece of paper fluttered onto the leaves. “Ah, found it.”

It was the size of a post-it note. The handwriting looked quick and sloppy at the edges. It wasn’t anyone's he could recognize. “Not everyone is betting against you.” Izaya read aloud. “So it was after you refused to hand me over that they offered the trade?” Shizuo nodded. 

That made things interesting. So they had the medical supplies ready beforehand. They couldn’t have known how Shizuo would react, but they had a briefcase ready if he hadn’t taken the bait. It meant that there were certain fixed rules: one being that everyone started with finding the antidote. But there were also unknown rules. The most obvious was that each person killed could have their remaining time added to the killer’s. 

“The first and second tasks are the same for everyone, find the antidote then collect the collars.” Izaya mused aloud while knowing he had more than one audience. “Mura was collecting the collars, but I doubt after he collects his nine collars that they will send him a helicopter. Maybe he will have his own trap, maybe not. Now this all could mean multiple things. Maybe for each task there is an unknown rule that we have to figure out based on the options we pick. Just like in the first task when told to find an antidote, what we were really looking for were keys. Or possibly this means that the further we go along the tasks, the more they diverge and become specific to each individual.”

When Shizuo didn't respond, Izaya continued.

“It would make sense that the next task would be to kill certain individuals, you know like hunting someone down, but even then there could be an unknown rule. For now, it will inevitably be a waste to collect collars when we could be searching for something else. Or doing something differently.”

If only it was so simple as to play on the viewers’ wants. They already were having their fill of violence, but that couldn't be enough to satisfy everyone. Izaya could infer from the note that these individuals had other wants. They wanted other outcomes and wanted to bet on the right one.

If Izaya manipulated the game then he could more easily determine his own path. He knew one easy way too. The viewers of the game had watched him take a shower. The cowboy samurai said that he was probably on the island because of accessing the yakuza tapes with Honey Python. He could tell Shizuo that the reason that they were on the island was because of the Honey Python videos and that their last task could be something along the lines of sex. If Izaya presented that idea, and let it brew in all of the viewers' minds, then that possibility could very well happen.

Except it was a terrible idea and he could already imagine just where that conversation with Shizuo would go and it wasn't pretty. It would only serve to piss Shizuo off, and he also didn't want to be hated even more by him.

And whatever they wanted would be sick. They wanted to see the worst brought out in each person. If they had been betting from the very beginning, then from that moment that he had been chained to the wall and pinned down, he was sure that they had been hoping for something else.

“Hey,” Shizuo said suddenly. Izaya hadn't realized that he had been quiet for so long. “I'm sure they haven't put as much thought into this as you just did.”

Izaya grinned. “Oh, that’s precisely what I'm hoping for because tomorrow we’re going out to look for people.”

Shizuo looked away with a scowl. “What do you want to do that for?”

“Let’s just say that I want to deal information.” Though he couldn't manipulate the people off the island, that didn't mean he couldn't manipulate the people on the island. Make them his own pawns. Because he was already confident that he had the strongest player in his hand.  

It was obvious that Shizuo wasn’t convinced, but he wasn’t voicing his disagreements either. Izaya leaned back and grazed the bandages over his hand. The swelling had gone down considerably. It still hurt, but it was tolerable. He’d have to check his hand and see the damage for himself.

The bandages weren't too tight that he couldn’t unravel it himself. With each layer removed, it stung just a bit more. His skin was red at his palm and tender looking. He couldn’t so much as move a finger without his entire hand throbbing in pain. The good thing was that it didn’t smell so bad and the inflammation was down. The wound was wet and there was some pus between the stitches.

“Were you able to drain the pus out?”

Shizuo lifted his head from where he was resting on his arms. “Drain it? I didn’t see that in the instructions.” He reached over for said instructions and passed over the matted pamphlet. It was crumpled at the edges and some of the ink had smudged at the bottom.

“It probably doesn’t matter anymore. It’s cleaning up nicely.” He skimmed over the leaflet. The instructions were simple with little pictures, which was probably why Shizuo had been able to understand any of it. Izaya was impressed though. These instructions wouldn't have been easy for a regular human to follow.

He used the hand sanitizer to clean his good hand before handling the supplies. Izaya read each container, scrutinized the ingredients, and picked the ones he would need now. He cleaned his hand with saline solution before wiping both sides to remove the pus. His hand shook the entire time no matter how gently he touched it. The antibacterial ointment soothed his skin.

He couldn’t properly re-bandage his palm and wrist with only one working hand, but he didn’t need to ask Shizuo for help because he was already getting the gauze ready.

Shizuo layered the dressing over his hand without once actually touching him. He was rather good at evenly applying everything, just as good as Shinra if not more gentle. With all of Shizuo’s concentration directed at his arm, Izaya observed Shizuo’s movements. This close and he was reminded of how he had woken up.

At the final knot, Izaya flinched just a bit. Shizuo stepped back to the opposite side of the wall, and his demeanor was unusually withdrawn. Izaya couldn’t understand him, and it frustrated him to not know things. But asking these things frustrated him even more. He had the impulse to ask why? But there were too many ‘why’ questions, and he couldn’t stomach just settling on one when they all sounded awful in his own mind. He doubted that Shizuo even knew why; he always did things without reason.

“I should get more water,” Shizuo said. The bottle wasn’t even empty.

“Actually I want to go wash up. Do you mind waiting for the IV to empty?” 

Shizuo looked out the entrance of their cave, where there was enough space to see the span of a few trees. “You think it’s a good idea to walk that far?” 

“I’ll probably feel better.” 

“Hmm.” Shizuo rested as he waited, looking cramped in the small space. Izaya sat in silence. When the fluid in the bag finally ran out, Shizuo took out the tube and plastic and covered the small prick with a band-aid. The sting left quickly.

It would still be light for a few hours. More than enough time to make the trip. By now Shizuo knew the fastest way to get there. There were many rocks and boulders jutting out of the ground, and pretty spiraling plants with large, yellow cone-shaped leaves. It was as if the island was only just a regular island, at peace with the ocean and existing unaware of the madness it contained.

Izaya breathed the clean air easily. His breaths came short but steady. He had his coat on and he had a knife ready in his sleeve. He realized that maybe he had overestimated his own ability when he found himself leaning against tree after tree. Shizuo stared back at him clearly annoyed but he didn't say anything, and with gritting teeth, Izaya forced himself to move, though he didn’t have to go much further when the sounds of a stream became louder.

Leaving his coat, shoes, socks, and pants on a rock, Izaya stepped into the running water. It wasn’t too cold to be uncomfortable, and Izaya hissed quietly as he lowered himself until he sat with the water at his mid back. “I miss my bathtub,” he said with a sigh. “I recently had it installed with a jacuzzi function.” He scooped up some water and splashed it against his chest. It was disappointing that some of his muscle mass had diminished. He must have lost a few kilograms. “Is there anything you miss?”

The response wasn't immediate as Shizuo shed his pants. “My cigarettes.”

“Hmm?” Izaya washed his arms while being careful of the bandages. “That’s it?”

Shizuo didn't respond. He sat a meter away in the water with his legs crossed.

“What about anyone?” Izaya continued. “From work...family?”

Shizuo dragged his hands over his face and repeated the action. Maybe he was going through nicotine withdrawal. But Izaya wasn't discouraged in the least. “What do you normally do in your free time, Shizu-chan?”

This seemed to get some of Shizuo's attention as he frowned back. “What? What's with the questions?”

“I just want to know. It's something you do while bathing: talking.” Shizuo stared back at him blankly for a few seconds, and Izaya shrugged. “We're bonding. Think of it as a team-building exercise.”

“What the hell’s with that?” Shizuo mumbled. “You want to know what I do in my free time? Well, I clean my apartment. Go on walks. Sometimes I sit in the park. I watch movies if something’s good on. What do you do?”

Izaya didn't comment on what he thought of Shizuo’s life choices. “I surf the web and frequent chat rooms. I visit cat cafés and walk around the city. I like to read a lot.”

“When you put it like that you sound normal. And visit cat cafés? Like hell you do."

"Okay, you got me there." Izaya grinned. “But you sound normal too. Though...maybe a bit too normal. You forgot to mention the part where you terrorize the city.”

Shizuo flicked some water in his direction. “So do you.”

“Oh, we have _so_ much in common. See, team building.”

There was half a grin on Shizuo’s face. “Dumbass, we don't have anything in common.”

“What? You're obviously oversimplifying this. You got to look at the bigger picture. See, look here. We both went to the same school.” He used his fingers to count. “We kinda know the same people. We both go on walks and runs through the city. We’re both on this island. Hmm. This _is_ kind of difficult. Well...I watch movies too, you know. So that’s five things.” He held out a hand. “An entire handful of things we have in common.”

“Hah, now look who's oversimplifying things. But whatever. I guess we might have some...qualities that could be in common.”

“That's the team spirit.”

“Ok. I'm done.” Shizuo ducked his head under the water for a few seconds before re-emerging and standing. The water trailed his form and clung to his boxers. And as always Shizuo didn't have a clue to what he was doing.

But Izaya would be sure to fix that.


	36. four hundred and thirty-eight cows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His muscles became tense as he held back from moving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have another fan art this one by amberle-db (it's a surprise dick pick, it's amazing. Just trust me) [here](http://amberle-db.tumblr.com/post/152306920811)

Similarities, huh?

Shizuo sat on a rock and watched the stream pass. Water dripped from his hair and fingertips. He was listening intently, but mostly the sound of flowing water soothed him to a false calm; his thoughts, though, were not. As the water slowly trailed down his hands, his skin tingled coldly.

Yeah, there were a whole fucking handful of similarities. The most obvious one now being that they were both killers. But then again, most people on this island already were, so he sure had a lot in common with everyone now.

The water was disrupted and some flecks landed on his drying arm. He looked over as Izaya reemerged and stepped out of the slow current. He kicked up some water before he claimed his own rock to dry against. Shizuo went back to staring into the water.

He was mostly dry when he realized that the sun would soon begin to set, and any longer that they stayed here meant that they would be walking in the dark. He got up and found his pants where he had hung them on a branch. "We should go," Shizuo said.

"I was just about to suggest that," Izaya spoke with a small yawn and as he stretched, Shizuo noticed that he was thinner where the skin dipped around his bones. The bruises didn't look as dark now as they took the colors of healing.

He must have been staring because Izaya turned towards him as he struggled with his pants. "What is it?"

"You look thinner."

There was a wry grin on his face as he shook his head. "That's because I am. Not all of us can maintain their weight while stranded on an island. And not just any regular tropical island either, but a death-themed one."

"Yeah? That's because you don't eat enough."

"I'll be sure to eat, all right?" Izaya carefully slipped into his coat, wincing when he moved his left arm through the sleeve.

They drank their fill of water before they left. Izaya's pace was slow going. Each step and Shizuo felt his irritation prickle. The sky was darkening and they would be walking back blind. Shizuo knew that Izaya hadn't been ready to go out. It wasn't even a long trip back, but he was making it so.

"That's it," Shizuo said when he had enough. "Should have done this earlier." He crouched down. "I'm carrying you."

Izaya was leaning against a tree, his breaths uneven as he took his time to answer. He put a hand on his forehead and wiped damp bangs from his eyes. Then he nodded. "I suppose it's getting dark."

The moment Shizuo felt Izaya's weight lean against him, he reached back and lifted Izaya like he weighed no more than a very large flea. The fur lining of his sleeves and his hair were wet, and Shizuo felt as Izaya's breaths smoothed back to normal.

It was quiet all around them and neither of them thought it fit to disturb the low buzzing of insects. They returned before twilight made their path impossible to see.

As Shizuo rolled the boulder and put Izaya down on his feet, part of his tension eased. Though this small space was by no means appealing—with it being cramped, cold and littered with wayward rocks that jabbed his ass—it was still something they could return to. It was a small barrier away from the craziness around them. He just needed to add more leaves to freshen the place.

"Hold on a sec'," Shizuo said as Izaya leaned against the rock wall.

He stripped some large leaves off the nearby trees. There were enough to layer the floor of the cave twice and Shizuo did so haphazardly as it was too dark to see. He was just careful not to cover anything important.

"It's best to forget about a fire for tonight. The smoke will only attract attention." Izaya said.

"Huh? I thought that's what you wanted, to meet people."

"They might be the wrong sort I'm thinking of."

They ducked inside and Shizuo moved the boulder back in place leaving half a hand's width of space open. It was way too dark to see beyond black shapes against other black shapes.

"Battery's dead," Izaya said quietly as he rustled through the bag and checked the phone.

"Died last night." A click sounded, and a deep amber light appeared for just a second before fading once more and flickering on and off. It was the lantern, but it would die any second.

"Do you mind holding out your lighter for a moment?" Izaya asked. Shizuo found it where it had been against the fire pit. With the tiny flame, Izaya searched the briefcase and found the bottles he needed. It took a little longer than a minute for him to give himself his own shots. "Thanks," Izaya said when he was finished. The light disappeared.

From the sound of it, Izaya was getting comfortable in the back of the cave, and Shizuo did the same, close to the entrance. He took off his shoes, and his legs touched the wall when he laid back, so he shifted a bit, bur no matter how he positioned his legs, he couldn't get comfortable. His foot hit something that was definitely not solid rock. "Sorry," he said.

"It's fine. I'm cramped too."

There wasn't exactly enough room for both of them to lie down with space between them. Before he had opted to sleep while sitting up or sleeping at an angle, but he really didn't feel like doing that now. Shizuo contemplated adding another room to this cave. He could also make the ceiling higher so that he wouldn't hit his head.

Izaya moved. He was no longer against the back of the wall, but somehow next to him. Shizuo couldn't tell the exact span of space between them, but judging how small this cave was, it couldn't have been much.

"There, now we both have room," Izaya said away from him. "And I can't have you kicking me in your sleep."

Ah, so his back was to him. After giving the other so many piggy back rides, he shouldn't be thinking much of this. "Hmm." It unnerved him, but Shizuo slowly began to ignore it.

"Good night," he said after too much time had passed.

"Night."

He turned his head but could only see a black lump beside him. He closed his eyes and expected sleep to come to him quickly after such an exhausting two days. Muted hums of insects and the rustling of leaves slipped through the cracks, but there was a quietness inside the cave that Shizuo didn't think he liked. He stared at the black walls around him when closing his eyes only frustrated him.

Shizuo couldn't sleep and he didn't know what to do with himself. It was also frustrating him even more that he was getting frustrated that he couldn't sleep.

"Hey, Izaya..." He whispered.

At first, he thought Izaya had fallen asleep, but then he sighed and said, "what?"

"You awake?"

"No."

"Oh, sorry."

"Okay. What is it? Are you seriously checking to see if I'm asleep or not?"

"No...sorry, it's nothing."

 Izaya shifted so that he was facing him. "Is something bothering you?"

"I don't know. Can't sleep."

"Well, I can. It's only been like three minutes. You're obviously not trying very hard."

Only three minutes? It definitely felt longer than that. "Yeah. Sorry."

"Count sheep or cows or whatever farm animal you like. Just do it silently."

"That doesn't actually work."

"Then stop thinking so hard about it and maybe it will."

Shizuo frowned as he thought that that didn't work because then he would be thinking too hard about not thinking too hard. Ugh, this was just frustrating him. Whatever. "Yeah, okay. Good night."

"Hmm." Izaya hummed softly. Soon it became apparent that he fell asleep, leaving Shizuo to himself. Not that he could blame him for that.

Shizuo shifted, quietly stretched, and repositioned his sleeping posture. The air was chilly, but it wasn't enough to make him uncomfortable. He wished that he could be watching and listening to the crackle of burning wood.

He wondered if by now his folks knew that he was missing. He hadn't listed any of his family members on his emergency contact list for work, but if they thought it was serious then surely they'd contact the police and then his family. How many days would it take for anyone to think that maybe something had happened to him? How many days had it been? Five? A week? Shit, it felt like months if he didn't know any better.

If everyone knew he was gone, it would be better if they thought he had run away. Yeah, taken a break or some kind of shit.

Shizuo rubbed his tired eyes.

Ikebukuro was probably more peaceful in his absence. If he was back home he'd be sending some asshole airborne...putting punks in the hospital. Maybe he'd even be sitting behind bars for going too far.

He went on his stomach and used his arm as a pillow.

It was probably better that he was here. He wasn't missing home anyway, and besides, no one was missing him.

The silence was getting to him as it dragged. It was too fucking quiet. Why was it so quiet? Did the insects outside go to sleep? Do insects sleep? Why was Izaya so quiet? Was the flea even breathing?

He was turning on his side, facing Izaya. He shifted closer and listened. Izaya was breathing fine. He could hear the insects, too. Even his own heartbeat was loud in his ears.

He had the sudden impulse to reach his hand out to feel him, to be sure that he was all right, just to know that he was there. He stopped his hand halfway and brought it clenched tight to his side.

Shizuo closed his eyes. It was all in his mind. He was tired and everything was simply as it should be.

But it wasn't. He didn't feel okay. He felt sick and anxious and it was too quiet but his ears were ringing. He covered his eyes. He took in deep breaths. He was feeling like shit because of what he'd done, huh? All right, then he deserved it.

All he had to do was stop thinking: count farm animals. He imagined black and white cows, brown cows, and creamy tan cows. He was up to three hundred and forty-eight when he heard footsteps approaching their cave.

Shizuo quietly sat up. Judging by the sound, the man was walking stealthily, practically tiptoeing to be careful. The footsteps stopped in front of the rock, scuffling back and forth. Shizuo could imagine hands feeling around the edges where the boulder and cave connected.

His muscles became tense as he held back from moving. The need to crush something grew and he gripped the leaves harshly. There was no way any regular man was capable of moving that boulder. The person tried anyway, quietly putting their weight into moving it.

Shizuo kept his fists to his sides. Izaya was still passed out in sleep, and Shizuo didn't think it was worth it to start a fight in the dark when all he had to do was wait it out.

Three hundred and forty-nine, he counted. Three hundred and fifty.

The tugging eventually stopped, though the counting didn't. He passed out some time through the night, and he woke up so groggy he at first forgot where he was.

To his left was Izaya underneath a few long leaves. Sunlight was seeping through the rock door, but inside were only layered shadows. He spotted the outline of the water bottle and took a deep swig from it. The mouthwash was on his other side and he tiredly grabbed it. Feeling the slight sting in his mouth as he swished it woke him up more. He figured since the cave already smelled like peppermint that it didn't matter where he'd spit it out. Stretching as best as he could while sitting, with his hands brushing against the ceiling, Shizuo felt, at last, more than half awake.

Izaya was beginning to stir from the noise, and he pulled the leaves closer to his body while curling in on himself. His hood was up, covering most of his face.

Shizuo attempted to be quieter. He had no idea how long he had slept, or what time it was. As he sat there, blinking slowly and trying to clear his thoughts, he was beginning to remember the strange dream he had. He couldn't remember how it started or ended, but he could distinctly remember that it wasn't a good dream.

Izaya shifted once more. His hand minutely flexed atop the leaves and then drew closer towards his chest. His last few moments before waking were reluctant, but once he realized it was morning, he quickly became aware. He sat up, groaning softly as he put a hand over his face.

"Ah, I have a terrible headache," he muttered.

"Oh," Shizuo said. "Want to sleep longer?"

Izaya stopped rubbing his forehead and he took a deep breath. "No. It feels like all I've been doing recently is resting."

"Hmm."

"What a pain. I just want to cancel all of my plans and take a day off at the beach."

At the thought of sunny shores and mind-numbing waves, Shizuo easily agreed to that idea. Doing nothing appealed to him strongly. "Maybe we should."

Izaya grinned wryly as he straightened up. "You want to go on a mini vacation, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo frowned. He wouldn't consider it a mini vacation at all.

"Don't you want to return home faster?"

Shizuo still didn't answer. He was sick of this place and all of the bullshit, but there was nothing waiting for him back home. He was tired of all of this, and he didn't know how to say what he was thinking without sounding dumb or irritated at himself. "Yeah," he said lamely.

"Well," Izaya continued, "I was thinking that we better walk along the shore checking the buildings. Maybe we can enjoy the view as we walk, right?"

"All right. Can you even walk that far?" Shizuo asked testily.

"I can. With breaks." Izaya said as he stretched.

The rest of their morning was spent finishing the last of the pudding flavored fruits and treating Izaya's hand. They took stock of their remaining supplies. What was essential, they kept in the briefcase, and everything else was piled in the back. There was a chance that they wouldn't return here for the night and Shizuo sealed the cave. He didn't turn away from it for a few seconds and when he did his steps were slow. The sudden emptiness he felt wasn't real but imagined.

"Hey, Shizu-chan."

"Huh?" He looked up from the ground.

"I asked you a question."

"Sorry, I wasn't listening."

"I said, do you remember where you got those fruits?"

He scanned the trees around them, thinking about the last time he had stumbled upon the fruit. He wasn't certain of the exact location, but he kind of recalled the direction.

"It's probably that way," he pointed to their right. "But shouldn't we get water first?"

"Yeah, that's what I said before. Go get water then find those fruits."

"Oh."

Shizuo tried to pay more attention now that they were in the open. There was a soft wind passing through, and it wasn't yet humid. The shades of green, brown, and gold were either vibrant or dull, and occasionally a patch of yellow or white flowers took his attention. They were walking side by side with Shizuo walking a step ahead more often than not, and while Izaya was moving at a faster pace, it was still apparent that he was recovering; though, the worst of the infection in his hand had passed.

Shizuo hadn't realized how close they were to the creek until it was by their feet.

While searching for the fruits, they wasted so much time circling around the trees that they ended up giving up and they headed for the shore. Shizuo stared at the ground as he walked. Eventually, the ferns thinned out and pebbly sand replaced dirt.

A soft gust of salt-tinged air and mist hit him as he looked up and saw the ocean. Waves tinted jade lapped against the sand, and Shizuo took in a deep breath of cool air.

"We'll rest here for a bit," Izaya said. He found a tree with fraying bark to lean against.

Shizuo put the briefcase down next to him. He hesitated, wondering if he should sit down or lean against a tree. He chose the warmth of the sand.

"So, did you sleep well after I did?" Izaya asked.

Shizuo looked over at Izaya who was making lazy patterns in the sand. "Hmm." Shizuo thought his color was looking better. "Some asshole came snooping by, trying to get in."

"Really? Did you growl and scare him away?"

"What do you think?" Shizuo crossed his arms and looked back out into the ocean.

He chuckled. "Oh. So you're telling me that you didn't throw him across the island?"

Shizuo didn't respond.

"I see...you should get some kind of reward for that. Good for you. And did anything else happen? Interesting dreams?"

Shizuo dug the toes of his shoes into the sand. He glowered as he thought of his dream. From what he could remember, he had won the lottery and spent it all on cows. He'd became a farmer, but what he thought would have been a peaceful lifestyle turned to shit when he had to butcher his cows for meat. It was a shit dream and he didn't feel like sharing it.

"No," he said and as an afterthought, he added, "You?"

"Ah, I was out like a rock. I just fell asleep and woke up." Izaya shrugged and leaned back. His lean shoulders and the way he looked to the side stirred something in Shizuo's thoughts. Before his shitty cow dream, he was almost positive that he had dreamed something else.

"I think...you were in my dream."

"What?" Izaya's eyebrows raised and he was staring. Shizuo realized just what he said and he scowled. It was kind of a dumb thing to say. "Care to elaborate?"

Ah, shit. Now he'd just be poking fun at him. "I forgot."

"Really? Sounds like you're lying to me."

"I really can't remember anything. I don't even know if it was you."

"Hey, that's not fair. You're just being stingy. You do remember, but you're too embarrassed to say anything."

"As if."

Izaya was scrutinizing him with pursed lips.

Shizuo wanted to tell him off, but then he seemed to drop it all on his own. It was almost peaceful again and he found himself relaxing once more. Sometime later, Izaya got up.

"We better move on. Did you happen to check out any of the buildings in the area?"

Shizuo got up too and picked up the briefcase. "I did, about four of them. They were all empty though."

"They could be filled in now."

"...you're serious about finding these people?"

"Yeah," Izaya said easily.

"Then what?"

"We'll just have a chat, okay."

It sounded completely pointless to him. "Just a chat?"

"That's right."

Shizuo didn't like it. But he didn't know what else they could do. "Fine."

They walked along the shore, closer towards the waves than the trees. That way, as Izaya had pointed out, their footprints would be washed away. They kept going until the first building came to view. It was small, only a single room, and Shizuo was beginning to remember what he had found last time: the rotting body and a head smashed against the wall.

The hole that he had made was still there and bits of concrete were scattered across the sand. When they came up to the crack in the wall, they shared a brief look. Izaya looked as confident as Shizuo had always known him.

"Hello? Anyone here?" He called.

Chains shifted quietly against the floor and Shizuo felt unwell. Izaya was going in and Shizuo stepped in front of him. He shook his head and motioned to wait.

Stale, sour air assaulted his nose, but it wasn't as terrible as he remembered. There was definitely someone alive in the back of the room. He squinted at the dark shapes against the far wall. A man dressed in navy striped pajamas was trying to hide behind the wooden chair.

He could have a weapon, so Shizuo walked forward slowly. "Hey," he said. It came out rough, and Shizuo cleared his throat. He tried again. "Hey, uh...you can get off the floor now." From behind the wooden armrest, two wide eyes peered up at him. "I won't hurt you or anything. See, no weapons." Shizuo held up his hands.

The man mumbled something that Shizuo couldn't understand at all.

"What?" Shizuo asked. Then he realized that it wasn't Japanese, but some kind of dialect of Chinese or something. "Just great." He walked over and grabbed the chair before pulling it out from the floor. The wood broke before the bolts did. He threw it to the side. The man was still chained to the wall, saying more things that Shizuo couldn't understand. There were no weapons in his hands.

Izaya's footsteps scuffed quietly over the concrete.

" _Do you speak any English?_ " Izaya asked smoothly in English.

There was a pause as the man crouching on the floor sized them up. " _No."_

" _Well, That's good enough for me. Did you find a message on your phone?"_

" _What?"_

The bloodstains hadn't fully disappeared from the last victim, and the man could even be sitting in dried up pieces of brain matter.

" _Your smartphone,"_ Izaya pointed to the man's phone. " _Was there a message?"_

The man was staring blankly at him, but then he understood and he nodded slowly. It looked like his hair had been recently shaved. It was hard to see his face clearly, but he had thin and round features. He unlocked his phone and played the message out loud. Shizuo didn't understand a single thing, so he continued to keep watch. When it stopped playing, the phone shook in his hands. He pointed at the collar around his neck and then at Izaya's bare neck.

" _Help me, please."_ The man said.

" _I need your phone,"_ Izaya said. He walked over and the man gave it to him. The phone's light washed over Izaya as he touched the screen.

"He doesn't have a translating app. He barely has anything on here. Only games." Izaya passed back the phone.

" _There is no antidote, but there is a key to open the collar,"_ Izaya said slowly while pointing and making simple gestures. " _The key is in someone's back."_ He motioned for Shizuo to come closer.

With his back to both of them, he felt as Izaya's fingers grazed the skin by the healed wound. " _You have to find a match. Understand?"_

The man's eyes were wide and dark. His brows furrowed as he put everything together, and then he nodded.

" _Okay, then he will let you out."_ Izaya pointed to the chains and then motioned like he would break them. "Shizu-chan. Slowly if you can."

Shizuo thought it was a bad idea, but he did it anyway. He walked over and tugged the chain loose from the wall in one easy motion. Concrete crumbled to the floor and the man gasped and said more things that Shizuo couldn't understand.

" _Hand,"_ Shizuo said. Shaking hands extended towards him, and Shizuo broke the chains at the cuffs. He then pointed at the man's feet which had slippers—actual fucking slippers. He reached over and broke the chains around the man's ankles.

" _Thank you."_ The man said, and Shizuo stepped away quickly. He still didn't get the point to all of this.

"Now what?" he asked Izaya.

"Hold on," Izaya said and then turned to the man, " _Look for me when you have that off. Pass this information along. Try to stay alive."_

"All right, let's go."

Izaya was heading for the exit, and Shizuo looked back at the man who was on the ground, looking like he was trying to wrap his mind around what just happened. He wasn't the only one.

They were out of the building and on their way towards the next building. "What was the point of that?"

There was a yell and more things Shizuo couldn't understand, but he knew one word. " _Stop!"_

Shizuo turned and the man was rushing towards them. He was tripping in the sand and he took off his slippers to catch up to them.

" _Please."_ He said out of breath. " _Please."_ He collapsed by their feet and the word ' _please'_ was gasped into the sand.

" _No_ ," Izaya said. " _We helped you enough."_

He continued to beg and rock in the sand, pleading as if Izaya could save him.

"He's just going to follow us." Izaya sighed, but he didn't look bothered at all. It was obvious he had expected this and shrugged. " _Okay_ ," Izaya switches to English. " _You can come_."

The man looked up from the sand, the uncertainty was clear there as if he was frightened to believe that he could join them. He grinned widely and reached for Izaya's leg.

Shizuo immediately got in between them with his back to the prostrating man. "What do you mean 'okay'?" He was about to grab Izaya by the front of his coat but stopped his hand. "You said we'd just talk. Not...not whatever this is! You don't know anything about him. He's a criminal! You can't just let him come with us."

Izaya didn't look at all fazed. "It'll be fine," he said easily. "Just look at him. What's he going to do? Strangle us with his pajama bottoms? Hit us with his slipper? You want to leave him here? Do you—"

"Yes!" Shizuo cut him off. "It's not like you actually give a shit about him."

Izaya didn't so much as blink no matter how close Shizuo leaned towards him. "We've both dealt with far worse men, Shizu-chan, and right now we might as well be his God. Let me deal with him for now."

"Izaya..." Shizuo started. He put a hand over his face as if that would quell his growing annoyance. "Don't fuck around. You know better than anyone what _humans_ are capable of."

"Yes," he continued to use that same easy tone. "Which is why I'm saying he's fine. I'm not messing around, okay?"

The flea was being serious. His eyes were steady enough, and Shizuo didn't think outstaring him would work. He cursed under his breath and turned to the man on the ground.

"If you try anything," Shizuo stuck his fist out, "I'll kill you, got it!"

The man may not have understood his words, but he knew he was being threatened and he sunk into the sand.

It disgusted Shizuo, but he was more sickened by how dead serious his threat was. He forced his hands in his pockets to smooth out his fists. "Get up! We're going."

He didn't care when Izaya asked for the man's name. He didn't care to listen at all to whatever was said between them. Shizuo only watched them both carefully. The next building came way too soon, and there wasn't a thing he could do when they found another man chained to the wall. Those wide eyes, just like the last man's, were glued to Izaya, and Shizuo didn't like it one bit.


	37. a shit that took a shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's all in the hips

When the noon sun became too much, they continued on in the cover of trees. The shrubs and ferns were scattered along their path, and the loose dirt was easier to tread over. They had been going at a steady pace since the last building, and Izaya was getting uncomfortably warm under his jacket. He was just feeling the warmth around his neck when Shizuo, to his left, said, "we're stopping."

It was probably a good thing none of the men understood Japanese because Izaya didn't want Shizuo calling the shots. He also didn't want to be seen as weak. "It's either that or I'm carrying you."

A small grin worked its way through, and Izaya stopped it from spreading. "Ah. That won't be necessary," Izaya said. He switched to English. " _Stop. We're taking a short break._ " He said the same thing in Russian. Izaya settled against a tree and then watched what everyone else did.

Wang Lei was massaging his feet. His white slippers were stained brown and green. From his earlier conversation, there wasn't much Izaya could gather from the man. All he managed to get out of him was where he lived and why he was on the island—which was unclear but definitely had something to do with a money dispute.

Henri Vespucci, the man they encountered in the second building, was fanning himself with a leaf. He was from Napoli and all the questions that Izaya had asked him were answered with well-practiced lies. He was as much of a wooden craftsman as Izaya was. His hands didn't have the signs for it, nor did his forearms that were scrawny. He apparently also had no idea why he was on the island, but out of all of them he looked dressed for it with cargo shorts, a green polo shirt, and cheetah print rimmed shades.

The most recent of the buildings they left had contained two men: a Russian man by the name of Kirill Gannibal and another Chinese man, Tan Boon. Kirill was wispy, pale, and gangly with eyes that were so dark, it was as if his pupils were larger than normal. Apparently, he had excellent aim with firearms and hunted game frequently, but none of that mattered when he didn't have any of his rifles with him—and it was, to Izaya's understanding, a sizable collection. He was sharpening the end of the wooden spear he had fixed.

Tan Boon was young, possibly in his early twenties, and looked like he was more fit behind a desk with a tricolored pen and a notebook than anywhere else. He spoke hesitantly and didn't maintain direct eye contact for too long. When they had found him, he had been hugging his legs and sobbing. He naturally gravitated towards Wang Lei and he was standing awkwardly above the man.

There was one other man that they had found, but Shizuo had refused to free him. It must have been something to do with the hard look the guy had, testing and vicious. But Izaya had been in agreement of Shizuo's judgment and let it pass.

These men they found were fodder for the game, easy and dispensable numbers, and none of them would survive the first two days. They looked like they didn't have much experience fighting beyond that of a back alley scuffle. But that was the point. What mattered was that their fear made them predictable. They were desperate and in need for someone to lead them out of this hell, and it made them easy to manipulate.

Izaya knew very well that there was a high probability that they would betray him, later when it suited their interests. There were consequences for his interference, and he speculated how the game creators would try to stop him. Already he was changing the outcome. If he could convince enough players to refuse to go by their rules, or better yet, sabotage their game, then he would be the one in control.

And even if that didn't work, if all these men turned on him, then Izaya could still work with that. It would mean that he'd ruined the viewer's fun and thus they too would become predictable and distracted from what he really wanted to do.

He'd also be better then. He could outmaneuver any of these men even now in his current state. He doubted anyone would really be dumb enough to try to take on Shizuo. Maybe they'd try in numbers then be tripping over themselves to run away.

Shizuo might even start lashing out at them early, judging by how increasingly irritated he appeared whenever anyone got too close to either of them. Maybe this was what it was like to be Tanaka Tom and have a bodyguard like Shizuo.

His eyes trailed over to Shizuo; Izaya grinned slightly and hid it behind his mouth. Ah, what would everyone back home say if they knew this? They'd probably think that he had blackmailed or tricked Shizuo. But here he was doing this in the hopes that it would give Shizuo a reason to like him.

Izaya knew very well that none of the conventional methods to get Shizuo to like him would work. Flattery would piss him off. His looks probably meant little. Money didn't matter here and even if it did, Shizuo wouldn't want it. And Shizuo sure as hell didn't give a damn about his wit, intelligence, or his charming personality.

Which left Izaya with not a lot to work with, but if he could get Shizuo off this island, then it had to count for something.

Except that there was always a big chance that Shizuo would just end up hating him even more. Especially since they had to babysit these men and it might just be more trouble than it was worth.

They better start becoming useful then. " _Kirill, we'll need your knife soon. May I see it?"_ Izaya said in Russian.

Kirill stopped carving and he nodded. The handle was warm when Kirill handed him the utility knife. It was obviously not meant for throwing, and the blade wasn't as sharp as his own, though it would be good enough to cut skin. He handed it back. He went and got the Swiss army knife and the lighter.

" _We'll take out the keys now,"_ Izaya said first in English then in Russian. " _Maybe you'll be lucky, or maybe not. I have a sewing kit when you're done."_

He passed over the lighter and the knife to Tan Boon, who looked at the tools with worried lips and wrinkled, thin brows. He inclined his head then turned to Wang Lei.

Henri had his own lighter and he was sterilizing Kirill's utility knife. It was rather dull watching as they peeled off their shirts and took turns working the knife in each other's backs. They used their clothing to staunch the bleeding. They tried the keys but there was no match between any of them, not even Kirill or Tan Boon who had been in the same building.

While the men sewed up their cuts, Izaya thought about what would have happened if his and Shizuo's keys hadn't matched up. If at those last seconds as he put the key in Shizuo's collar, and nothing had happened. Even just thinking about it made his throat tight and his hands weak. There was no mistake that a full dose of poison would have killed Shizuo. Izaya doubted that he'd have tried to find a key with only an hour left to live. They would have died. All because he had wanted to take Shizuo down for petty reasons.

And then it'd been stupid afterward to try to run from the emotions that he refused to deal with. It had only made the infection worse to the point where death had been his own harsh breaths growing faint in his ears as his mind fought to stay awake. He wouldn't make the same mistake.

Why Shizuo still even bothered with him after all that had happened was something Izaya had yet to fully understand. Shizuo didn't owe him anything and he could leave the island whenever he wanted. It was hard to believe that he was willingly staying here just for him, but that was what it seemed, and even so, Izaya wouldn't fool himself into thinking that Shizuo was keeping him company because he was actually interested in him— not while his body language said otherwise. Whatever his reasons were, it probably wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, and it'd most likely be a mix of a misguided sense of loyalty and stupidity.

Izaya put a hand on his forehead. He still had that headache since the morning and it was getting annoying to ignore. He put his hand down as one of the men approached him. The knife that Tan Boon gave back to him was sweaty. He didn't say anything and just stood there.

" _Yes_?" Izaya asked.

" _What's in the case? Wang Lei wants to know."_ He looked increasingly uncomfortable while being stared at. " _Sorry, if you don't mind me asking."_ He said in a rush so that Izaya had to think for a moment if he heard him right.

 _"Ah, that?"_ Izaya pointed at the metal briefcase by Shizuo's feet. " _Just a gift I got from someone watching us._ " He grinned. " _Maybe I'll show you later._ "

" _Okay_ ," he said slowly and nodded. " _Later then, thank you."_ The wound on his back was thinly trailing blood, and Izaya for sure didn't care enough about any of them to offer his medical supplies.

When Henri was finished sewing up Kirill's back, Izaya figured that their break turned out long enough. They needed to get water soon as the plastic bottle was already empty. Finding a water source though wouldn't be easy. They weren't familiar with these parts. It would be easier to split up.

" _We will need to find water so we'll have to split up in groups,_ " Izaya said in English. Their faces didn't look all too pleased as they looked around.

" _Water_?" Henri said loudly. _"Why don't we just find some coconuts on our way?"_

Izaya sighed and put a hand on his forehead. " _Don't pick any coconuts if you find any. It's mostly only shell and it's really not worth the effort. So, Wang and Tan, I want you two to go search for water in that direction."_ Izaya pointed to their left. " _Kirill and Henri go in that direction."_ He next pointed further into the forest. " _If you all walk for forty minutes and don't find anything, come back. If you find anyone, tell them about the collars. Got it? Shizu-chan and I will wait here."_

They knew safety of numbers, but splitting up had them looking uncomfortable. Just to be clear, he spoke to Kirill in Russian. Kirill was the easiest to handle. He didn't question and he didn't bullshit around. He and Henri left first.

Tan Boon waited for Wang Lei to stand before they got closer. Both of them tried not to look at Shizuo who was glaring them down.

" _You won't leave, right?"_ Tan looked uneasy as he asked. He gripped the spear in his hands tightly and brought it closer to his chest.

" _We'll be waiting. The killers out there won't hesitate."_ Izaya warned. " _So look tough._ "

If anything Tan looked even more uncertain as he craned his head in the direction that Izaya had pointed and looked like he'd much rather sit here.

" _Take this."_ Izaya handed Wang a utility knife. The man took it and worked the small blade out and ready. He nodded before heading out and Tan looked gingerly through the trees. They spoke together quietly and soon their voices faded out.

"See they can be useful," Izaya grinned. Shizuo tsked, grabbed the case, and stepped closer.

"Let's go," Shizuo said curtly. "Before they come back."

"What? Shizu-chan? We're not leaving. I've got this under control."

"I don't like any of them at all. I don't trust them. So let's just go."

Izaya frowned. "This is important, okay. I need to get them to pass on information for me. They won't be with us for long."

Shizuo ground his teeth. He looked down at his fists then away. "They give me a bad feeling."

Izaya shook his head. "But Shizu-chan, I give you a bad feeling, too."

This got Shizuo's attention. He frowned and lifted his eyes. He looked annoyed and tired, but oddly Izaya could tell that he wasn't the source of it.

This close, he tried to guess the color. He'd always just thought Shizuo's eyes as brown, but they were darker than that, somewhere between brown and grey, taupe like his kitchen counter.

"No. You don't." Shizuo said with complete seriousness. It was his tone and not the words that Izaya was more surprised about. "Not since coming here."

Izaya stopped his musings. "Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah." The word was slow and drawn out, deep like an exhale from a cigarette.

"Hmm? And why's that?"

His response wasn't immediate as he grimaced. "Because," he began. "Shit happened."

"Ah." Izaya looked up. It wasn't the answer he wanted and the small genuine smile that had been threatening to show stopped. "That's true."

As Shizuo had nothing else to say, a disappointment took Izaya quietly, and he wanted to believe that it was unwarranted and thus unnecessary. The clouds that passed overhead cast them in shade momentarily.

"And I already told you," Shizuo said abruptly. "You're not nearly as bad as I thought you were. Yeah, sorry about calling you a bastard, or whatever I called you the other day."

"Hah! But, I did deserve that! You know I'm the same as I was before all this. Possibly even worse."

"You're not worse, but then again, I was wrong about you before."

"You're wrong about a lot of things, Shizu-chan." Izaya picked at the dirt on his cuffs. His words weren't harsh at all. "And then you're spot on when I'd least expect it. I think it's a frightening ability you have there."

"Hmm." He sounded skeptical, and Izaya grinned as his mood had much improved.

"It'll only be a few more days until we leave. Try not to beat the men too badly. I need them alive."

Shizuo didn't respond, but his shoulders tensed and the annoyance was clear on his expression. The tree that he was leaning against creaked as he shifted.

Since they were alone, it would be best to clean his wound now. When Izaya peeled the bandages off from his hand and examined the stitches and raw looking skin, he thought that it was looking better. From the briefcase, he used the saline solution to douse the inflamed area, the ointment to apply a thick layer over it next, and then sterile bandages to cover it once more which Shizuo silently offered his help in.

He eased his jacket from off his shoulder and there were small purple bruises where the shots had gone. Injecting it by himself before had hurt a lot more than it should have. The needle was by his shoulder when Shizuo took it from him.

"You're going to hurt yourself like that. Let me do it."

He could have been stubborn about this as well, but Izaya inclined his head and allowed Shizuo to lightly pick up the muscle in his shoulder. He barely even felt it, but the warmth was there. He watched carefully as the needle pricked through his skin and the clear liquid went into his arm. There was no blood when Shizuo withdrew the needle and gave him another shot.

"Thanks," he said when Shizuo let go. "Do we have anything for headache relief in there?"

"You still have one from this morning?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah." He put a hand on the side of his head that hurt the most.

"Huh. I don't think there is any. Maybe we should wrap your head again?"

It was better not to. He didn't want to wear that. He was probably just dehydrated and he said as much, though he knew a large part of his current pain had been from all of the beatings he had gotten. Shizuo didn't look convinced but he dropped it as well.

In the shade of the trees with the soft ferns to sit against, they waited. Izaya flicked away the bugs that crawled over his pants. It was close to peaceful and while he could have struck up a conversation, Shizuo's posture had begun to relax. The tension in his own body was losing its hold on him as well.

He was discreet as he watched Shizuo, only looking his way when his focus was obviously distracted. Shizuo looked to be in thought, and occasionally something annoying would cross his expression, but it went away quickly. The sunlight flitting through the trees moved in lazy patterns over their skin. Watching him calm down like this while they shared the same space made him feel good and more at ease. His headache was beginning to lessen. He seriously considered for them to leave these men to fend for themselves. Ah, but he couldn't do that. Not yet, at least.

He was quietly stretching his legs for the third time when two sets of footsteps approached. Shizuo immediately stiffened and he focused on where the noise was coming from. It was Kirill and Henri who walked briskly their way.

" _We found water,"_ Kirill sounded pleased. " _Not a thirty-minute walk from here."_

 _"Good work,"_ Izaya said back. They sat close by to where Izaya was. Their hair and clothes were damp. Henri fanned himself while Kirill continued to speak about what they had seen. As the two got comfortable and relaxed, they had no idea just how close they were to getting beat up.

Henri noticed Shizuo's death glare first. He kicked Kirill's foot to get his attention and to get him to shut up. When Kirill saw Shizuo, he clammed up immediately, apologized, and readjusted his clothes nervously. They probably could both remember how Shizuo had broken their chains with his hands and yelled at them in a language they couldn't understand. They had successfully been avoiding him so far, as any man would be in a presence of a frightening thing, and they periodically glanced back at Izaya to assure their safety. It was good they knew not to cross Shizuo, and better yet, that there was someone who Shizuo listened to.

They were watching with sidelong glances when Izaya got up and sat closer to Shizuo.

"Are you hungry, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo grumbled something that sounded like not really, and he finally stopped glaring to actually look back at him. Izaya tipped his head and smiled.

"What? I still can't convince you to catch a tuna for me?"

His face first looked unamused, then his lips pulled tight together. He looked away for a moment in annoyance, but there was a tiny half smile that he struggled to contain.

"You never give up, do you?"

"I was close before. You were in the ocean and picked up a shark."

The pissed off look was almost completely gone. "I bet you don't even want the tuna, right? You just want me to get it for you."

"What!" Izaya gasped. "I don't want the tuna? You know I still have that 50,000 in my wallet just for you. Don't tempt me to triple the offer, because I won't take no for an answer!"

"Tough luck then, and I still don't believe you." Shizuo further relaxed against the tree.

"Heh. I guess you know me pretty well then." His grin was more sly now. "How will I ever get you to catch me a tuna now?"

Shizuo tsked and picked at the leaves near him. Izaya didn't expect Shizuo to say anything else, but the other did half a minute later.

"Russia Sushi," Shizuo mumbled like he was regretting what he said even as he said it. "We'll go there when we get home, only once though," Shizuo grumbled a low curse and became even more uncomfortable. "And you're paying."

Izaya was floored. He hadn't expected this outcome and a giddy feeling squeezed him with anticipation. He should pester Shizuo more often. "But I want to see you catch a tuna. We'll have to go to the beach then. Make it a day trip. Maybe a weekend just to be sure."

Shizuo snorted. "I can't just go to the beach and catch a tuna. People will stare. And don't you need a boat and a fishing pole or I don't know a net? I've never fished before."

"No, it's with your hands, silly. That's the only way. Or you know what? If you don't want to go fishing, I could settle for something else. But it has to be good."

"Hah? Why does it feel like I've somehow agreed to something else entirely?" Shizuo muttered. "All I said was Russia Sushi."

"Okay, all right," Izaya said quickly so that Shizuo couldn't take it back. "That's also acceptable for now."

Shizuo frowned as he was probably considering what he had gotten himself into.

Izaya figured he shouldn't let Shizuo think so hard about it. "Anyway, it's about time that Tan and Wang came back."

"Who?"

Izaya shook his head. "You know who I'm talking about. At least try to remember their names."

"Whatever."

Izaya was about to say something more when he heard the hushed tones of the two men. He couldn't hear what they were saying, though he knew it was about Shizuo and him. He wasn't imaging the conspiratory way they were talking either. When they too realized they were being watched, they quickly turned their attention to the oddly shaped rock to their right. But that wasn't fooling anyone.

It wasn't like he had forgotten that they were there, just that he had been talking to Shizuo and...

He frowned, leaned away, and ignored the flush of warmth that he attributed to the sun. It took awhile for a new set of footsteps to head their way. He was turning when Shizuo saw them first.

"No _fucking_ way."

There, pushing back a large fern and wiping the sweat from his forehead with his long red scarf, was the same man who they had encountered before.

His eyes widened in delight. "That's a motherfuckering dick in my mouth!"

"No, you fucking don't!" Shizuo yelled. He stood up and immediately tore down a slim tree by snapping it at the base.

"Hold up, hold up, stop! STOP! Honey Python-sama, please stop!"

Shizuo's words were probably heard a mile away. "That's not my name!"

"Please hear me out! I must apologize for my previous lack of respect! You just mean so much to me, I got a little excited. I had to find you again." By mere centimeters, his head missed being clobbered in with a tree. It became apparent he was rather good at sidestepping hurtling trees.

Tan and Wang were cowering behind a tree. Izaya felt his headache throb, and Shizuo continued to try to take down the man.

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya called. Shizuo was getting reckless with his swings, and the trees were tumbling like dominoes. He'd kill someone for sure. "Hey, Shizu-chan!" Shizuo was ignoring his name. The ground shook and splinters fell like prickly raindrops. Finally, Izaya managed to get in Shizuo's line of sight as he dodged the tree as skillfully as he could any hurtling object. "Shizuo!"

Shizuo was breathing hard and he lowered his weapon. "Are you crazy?! I could have hit you!"

"Shizu-chan, would it kill you to ask questions before you start hurtling things? Jeez."

Thankfully the tree fell down. "I don't want to ask any fucking questions!" Shizuo pointed at the man in the pirate costume with cowboy boots. "Say dick one more time, really just try me, 'cause then it'll be your dick in your fucking mouth!"

"Of course! Censorship is good, too. It evokes a sense of mystery. My favorite scene in—"

"You're this close," Shizuo said as he put his fingers together with just a smidgen of space. "This close to knowing the meaning of a loose dick."

"All right. I do need that very much, thank you. Now as I was saying. I lost my cellphone and I was in a big mess of tears. And I just had to do something. I knew that if I found you two, then we could team up, not as a threesome, of course, y'know unless—no, I mean not like that! But I could offer my expert assistance to you. I'll literally do anything you say and I mean literally."

"How about you literally fuck off somewhere else, huh?"

"Shizu-chan, just let me deal with this, okay."

Shizuo complained a bit but finally relented. The others began to come out of hiding now that they knew Shizuo had calmed enough to not start swinging things.

"So what's your name?" Izaya asked.

He smiled as he spoke. "It's AC."

"AC?" Izaya said blandly. "What's that? An air conditioner?"

"Well, actually it's Eishi, but AC sounds cooler."

"And so you'll do whatever we ask of you?"

"Of course, and I really don't shy from anything."

Yeah, that wouldn't be hard to believe. He thought he could work with this. "Okay. Then I need you to spread a message to as many people as you can, specifically to the newcomers still in the buildings. Think you can do that?"

"I'll make my way through the island faster than a dick–tionary with legs."

"Okay..." Izaya said as he glanced back at Shizuo who was trying real hard not to throw a tree at the guy. "Then I want you to tell them there is no antidote, but there are keys in everyone's back to open someone's collar. But if the guy is obviously a murderer, trying to kill you or what not, then maybe it's best to not tell him. He might just go on an even worse rampage. So can you do that?"

He touched his own collar then felt along his back to his billowing white shirt. "There's a key in me?"

"Yes. So can you spread this around? Also, if there are others who want to join me, they can help by passing along this information or trying to find me. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I got it. Look for newcomers and tell them there's a key in their back. Ask them to tell others. Anything else?"

"Sure. Tell them the next tasks are a joke and I'm working on a way to end this game. That should be all."

"Wow, I didn't expect this. My sharpened instincts are never wrong. What would be the chance that I'd find my all-time hero!?"

Shizuo grumbled something and Izaya didn't think his resistance would last.

"You better leave quick, because Shizu-chan is very serious about his threats."

"Shizu-chan?" He turned to Shizuo. "You mean Honey Python-sama?"

"Never call him by that name again. It'll only piss him off."

"Oh. Okay, I think I understand where you're getting at. Secret identities and all. Awesome. Though I have one small condition!"

He was really was pushing his luck. Depending on where this went, AC could very well die. "What is it?"

"His autograph please." He rolled up the cuff to his pants and from a slim belt attached to his calf, he pulled out a black pen. "It's really important to me. I always carry a pen just for an opportunity like this."

Izaya looked over at Shizuo who was crossing his arms. The vein throbbing at his vein couldn't possibly get any bigger or else it'd erupt.

"So," Izaya asked coaxingly. "Think you could sign his arm?"

"I'm not touching him!"

"You'd be touching his pen."

"Yeah, that just made me feel a lot better, thanks." Shizuo snapped.

"Just do it!"

Shizuo grumbled as he went over and waited as AC rolled up his sleeve. "Great! I want you to write: To AC, my biggest fan, it's all in the hips. Love, Honey Python."

"I'm not writing that shit. Give me the pen." With it in his hand, he nearly stabbed AC's forearm. He wrote:

_Go fuck yourself. S_

"There done." Shizuo capped the pen and tossed it back. AC hurriedly checked his arm and read the message.

"Wait...is this your new signature? That's just a drawing of a snake."

"Close enough. Now leave."

AC bowed deeply, thanked Shizuo profusely, and finally left grinning wide. Shizuo wiped his hand on a leaf.

"I hope we never see that ecchi bastard again." He cursed a few more times. "That guy reeks worse than a shit that took a shit."

Izaya agreed on the first account. "Well, good thing he lost his phone this time." If he had his phone, Shizuo might have tried to kill him for real. The others were still hanging back, wondering if it was safe.

" _All right. We're going. And Wang and Tan, next time don't let suspicious individuals follow you. That includes giant naked men."_

" _What was that all about?"_ Henri asked as he ventured out first.

" _He was someone we met earlier, but you don't need to concern yourself with it."_

 _"He seemed...what's the word? Ugh! It's right there on my tongue...strange? No, that's not it. Crazy?"_ Henri frowned as he scratched his chin.

" _The less you know the better,"_ Izaya said. " _Let's go before he decides to come back, right?"_

They went in the direction of the water. Kirill and Henri were at the front, with Wang Lei and Tan Boon following them closely. Shizuo took it upon himself to walk a little behind Izaya. No one said much, though Henri tried to engage with Kirill in simple English. The ground became softer the closer they got to the source of water.

" _It's here."_ Kirill motioned with his hand as he spoke to Izaya. It was a wide creek with shallow water and large rocks. The water was clear as it flowed lazily by.

Izaya took a handful and washed his face and neck. It was pleasantly cool as droplets rolled down his skin and collected in his sleeves.

An idea came to him, which he realized that he should have done earlier. They could fill up the empty IV bags with water. He stepped over to Shizuo who was scooping water over his shoulders.

"Hey, do we still have those IV bags?"

Shizuo frowned as he clicked the briefcase open. They weren't there. "I think we left them in the cave."

"Oh, okay, thanks."

Shizuo closed it. "We don't have to go back, right?"

"Oh, no it's fine. It doesn't matter really." They could follow the creek here as far as it would go inland, all the way to the source.

Shizuo nodded his head. They both looked to their right at the sound of a lighter. Henri had a long cigarette between his fingers and he took an easy drag from it. Shizuo abruptly stood and stalked over.

"Your cigarettes," Shizuo said, and Izaya found himself catching up. Shizuo was pointing at the carton in Henri's hand. "Give me them."

Henri smiled as he tapped the carton and a single white stick poked out.

"I said all of them."

A sudden apprehension seized Izaya. Seeing Shizuo ready to snatch the entire carton, and most likely smoke an entire pack, sent a cold swell of unease through him. He quickly got in front of Shizuo. " _No. Don't give him any."_ Izaya said curtly to Henri. "Shizu-chan, you don't need it. The poisonous gas could still be circulating in your veins."

"I feel fine," Shizuo grumbled. "Now hand them over."

"It's not good for you. You're better off without them."

"I'll feel better with them," Shizuo said lowly. " _Give them."_

 _"Don't. Don't give him any_." Henri looked between them, wondering who to listen to. He then shrugged and was about to hand them over to Izaya, but Shizuo roughly snatched them before the carton could be confiscated. Henri backed away with his arms up.

"You don't need them, Shizu-chan," Izaya repeated. "Don't smoke."

Shizuo raised his voice. "I said I was fine."

"Is that really fair? When all the time you're hounding and telling me what's good or not for my health? Now you won't listen when I tell you the same?"

"Shut the fuck up, flea!" Shizuo was livid in his anger with his teeth mashed together, a vein throbbing at his forehead, and his eyes livid just as Izaya had witnessed so often on the streets of Tokyo when he pissed him off. It had been some time since he had seen Shizuo give him that look. "I need this!"

It hurt in a way that Izaya had never experienced before.

"Then do what you want." Izaya turned and put his hands in his pockets, schooling his features and not allowing anything to show on his face. He bit his bottom lip and ignored how the other men were watching intently. His neck was hot at his collar and the headache pounded at his temple. It was true that the cigarettes wouldn't harm him, it was just the memory that made his limbs weak and his heart beat faster.

Shizuo cursed loudly and a second later a tree cracked and shuddered violently. Izaya looked back in time to easily dodge broken fragments from hitting him.

The entire carton of cigarettes was smashed in the bark and the force had the tree snapping. Shizuo stood there breathing hard.


	38. You had me at 'Hallo'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crunching bone and muscle like a rabid creature.
> 
> Izaya shouldn't be touching him at all if he knew what he'd done.

The crack and crash of wood resounded deep within him, and yet he felt numb from it. There was a slight tremor working its way up and down his arms. He tried to keep his fists flat at his sides, but even that was difficult.

... _shit_.

The moment he saw those cigarettes, a great need filled him- a sudden emptiness. He wanted that initial inhale badly, feel the smoke pass deep along his throat and expand his lungs full and long before spilling out. That kind of normalcy he craved. It would relax him. He only wanted to be calm again.

But now those cigarettes were crushed and embedded in the bark, and he couldn't take it back. He felt unstable. He _was_ unstable as his body refused to calm down. He stared at the crumpled carton and craved them with every breath. Anger fought for his control, and he had no one to be angry at but himself.

He could have smoked those cigarettes easily—fuck, he still wanted to fish them out of the bark— but having watched Izaya turn away made him so fucking pissed he couldn't have smoked them without being sick and disgusted.

His fists wouldn't unclench, they were tempted to force their way through more bark. Something light, a graze of fingertips, touched his upper arm, and Shizuo recoiled back violently. Expecting judgment and disappointment, like he had seen so often in his life, Shizuo at first didn't realize that wasn't Izaya's intention at all.

When Izaya touched his arm, lower this time, Shizuo didn't step away. How could he look... _calm_? Unaffected, like he had no idea how easy it would be for Shizuo to lose his slipping control: crunching bone and muscle like a rabid creature. Izaya shouldn't be touching him at all if he knew what he'd done.

"You got a splinter," Izaya said and pulled a piece of wood from the back of his hand. "See." He brought it close enough to his face that he had to cross his eyes to see the tiny shard no wider than a hair.

What? Who the fuck cared about a fricken... _oh._

Finally, his fists came undone and he breathed in and out.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

Izaya flicked the splinter away. "It's fine. You should probably apologize to Henri though. Those were his."

He hadn't been sorry about that and Shizuo frowned, though he didn't know what else to do. When he reached down and pried the cigarettes out, he crushed the box even more. Henri had backed up considerably, and Shizuo found him sitting on a rock.

" _Here. Thanks."_ He tossed them over to his lap, pieces of wood included. The box came undone and the cigarettes were ruined and spilling tobacco.

" _No problem,"_ Henri said and Shizuo didn't miss the nervous way he handled the spilling pieces.

There were eyes watching him as he went back to the river and rinsed his face. It annoyed him, except he didn't want to get pissed so soon after taking the edge off his temper. He closed his eyes as more water passed over his face. Sunlight delved to the pebbly creek floor, illuminating the clear water and dancing on the surface as the creek flowed pleasantly by.

Around them, the forest was a buzz of insects, the sashay of branches, and an occasional stirring of birds. No one tried to bring out a conversation at first. It was while they were setting out once more alongside the creek, that Henri began to speak in hushed tones to the Russian guy. Shizuo was about to yell at them to shut up, but at the last moment, he held his tongue. Being pissed off at them would only piss him off more. He narrowed his eyes as he made sure that everyone was in his line of sight, Izaya especially.

Tree branches rattled noisily in the distance as if an animal was swinging from a branch. They slowed.

Izaya said something in Russian. The other guy responded before slinking through the trees. It took him half a minute before he came back and told Izaya what he found.

" _A man is caught in a net?"_ Izaya said in English. "Hmm. Okay. _Then let's check it out._ Hey, Shizu-chan."

"Yeah, I heard."

"Okay...I'm surprised that you actually remember some English from school. I would have thought you'd forget it all."

"Don't be annoying. I understood about half of what you said."

"Half, huh? That's pretty good."

He was beginning to comprehend the shimmer of annoyance through him- that Izaya had said what was ahead, in English, to everyone else before him. Shizuo frowned but didn't respond. It wasn't helping him calm down.

The net was reasonably high over their heads, and it was impossible not to be reminded of the time he and Izaya had been stuck in a net and Izaya had been annoying as hell and struggling against him.

Izaya was looking at the ground, and yeah, Shizuo remembered those shitty spears as well.

The swaying stopped as the man stilled when he saw them. He gripped the net hard, fingers and nails obviously dirty.

" _Hallo..."_

Was that even English?

" _Können Sie mich bitte herunter lassen? Ich möchte Ihnen keine Probleme bereiten. Ach...sorry. Can you please help me? I think I'm stuck in this tree."_

" _Are you sure you want to come down?"_ Izaya asked. " _It might be an unpleasant landing."_

Izaya reached for a stick before jabbing it into the ground and letting the earth crumble to reveal those sharp shit stained sticks. The vines stilled as the man peered down through the net.

" _You're not one of those men from the boat, right?"_

" _The boat?"_

" _Ja, boat. They hit me and sent me here. Hey! You don't have a collar. And you!"_ The man pointed at Izaya first then him.

" _That's right. And if you behave, I'll tell you how to take yours off as well. So we'll help you get down now."_

Shizuo really didn't feel like helping this man down. If it were up to him, he'd leave him there, 'cause it wasn't his problem. But he knew that wasn't whatever Izaya's plan was so Shizuo got the man down in one heavily bruised piece by kicking and breaking the tree.

He fell in a loud heap and groaned loudly. " _Oh_ _mein Gott!"_

"Thank you, Shizu-chan."

"Hnn."

He was still struggling within the vines, trying to break them apart without any real success. Shizuo tore the biggest one in half and the man was able to weasel out. Standing now, half slouched in pain, he looked years older and very much breakable. He carefully sat atop the fallen tree and wiped along his neck and face with a yellow towel.

" _Thank you, you're very strong."_ He had a hard cased canteen with him, green like a turtle shell, that he unscrewed and brought to his thin lips. He took generous gulps and sighed loudly when he detached it from his mouth.

" _So, this boat. Could you tell me more about it?"_ Izaya asked.

" _I can."_ Again he wiped his sweaty face. The back of his hair was dark and oily with crusted ends, and it became obvious that it was from dried blood. " _You see...I'm a journalist, well ah, I write articles and there was some talk about a cursed island. Things like 'travelers disappearing', boats sinking, angry ghosts. So I thought I would make a good story. And I went pretty far on my motor boat when I see a boat with a helicopter. It wasn't so big. Maybe the same size of a yacht. I tried to go around, but it went close to me and stopped me like this–"_

He put his hands together and raised his voice in a command. "' _Turn around now. No trespassing on private waters.' It got me thinking that these people knew what was happening here and I asked. I probably should have realized something because they came after me quickly and knocked me out. Woke up on the shore with this."_ He pointed to his neck. " _Almost got a heart attack."_

Shizuo didn't bother listening all too closely because following the conversation was giving him a headache. All he understood was that the guy was on vacation and for some reason was here now.

He had a goofy smile and Shizuo didn't like his grinning. His pockets looked full and each time he ran his hand over his arm, Shizuo thought it was getting closer to whatever was in that pocket. He had a bag of some kind, too.

"Hey!" He interrupted whatever Izaya was saying. "What's in your pockets?"

The man stared at him blankly before Izaya translated for him. " _He asked you what you have with you."_

As if just realizing that he had pockets and things, he cursed and checked the square shaped bag that he had over his shoulder. " _My camera!"_

It was one of those black expensive ones with the huge attachable lens. " _Ah, the screen cracked."_ He fiddled with it and snapped a quick photo before checking it with dirt-creased hands.

" _Do you have a picture of the boat?"_

It was such a soft noise he didn't think anything of it.

" _I did, but it was missing when—"_

Izaya jerked back suddenly and where he had stood, a spinning blade went by and embedded in the calf of the man they had first found. He doubled over in agony, the blood spilling down his pajama pants.

Partially concealed by a cluster of ferns and rocks was a man with a crude wooden mask and a curved machete. His clothes were a mess covered in caking mud and ferns. He posed to strike once more.

Shizuo reacted without a second thought. He didn't have the time to feel the anger as it washed over him and fueled his reckless movements. A machete was thrown at his chest and he blocked it with the metal case in his hands. He threw the case hard enough to break bones.

"YOU ASSHOLE!"

A strangled scream came from behind him. He looked back, and the same masked man with mud and blades was atop a rock, throwing curved knives with effortless ease. Already the man who had been caught in the net was on his side. A black handle at home in his chest.

How the fuck did that man get there so fast?

Where he had thrown the case was where the man slumped on the ground, mask askew and jaw hanging loose. Served him right.

Shizuo reached for a young looking tree and quickly yanked it free, roots included. The second masked man had gotten down from the rock and was fighting Izaya. The knife would come close to cutting skin, but Izaya was quicker as he dodged the blades from both hands.

The man jumped back and threw a long knife at someone else, but Izaya threw his own knife and set the projectile off course. But now that this man was a few feet from Izaya, Shizuo launched the tree.

The man escaped as he jumped over a boulder and disappeared behind the foliage. That anger hadn't left him. It had only grown into something ugly. If Izaya hadn't moved when he had...

Shizuo got on that rock in one leap. The rock crumbled under his fingers.

That fucker was going to die.

He was just about ready to follow that guy through the trees when he thought he heard his name. He jumped down anyway, far too angry to think about anything more.

" _Don't!"_

The words were oddly muted.

He breathed in deeply and it tasted like shit. Run, run, run. That asshole could run as much as he wanted, but it would not save him.

He was so sick to his stomach he could vomit if he wasn't empty.

"Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo was already running when he slowed. The guy couldn't have gone far.

"Get back here, you idiot!"

With fleeting clarity, he stopped and looked over his shoulder. Where he had climbed was surprisingly far.

That had been Izaya.

He was livid with anger, but leaving to chase an idiot through the forest was probably the worst thing he could do. If he left Izaya alone with those fuckers...ah, _fuck._

The boulder was under his hands in seconds and he dropped down.

Izaya saw him and he was fine. The others were trying to stop the blood from one of the Chinese men whose name he couldn't remember. The other man was already dead, the knife not yet extracted from his chest. Blood continued to seep from his front.

Shizuo wasn't sure if the first asshole who attacked them was dead or not. He found him lying on his side shallowly breathing. His jaw had indeed disconnected and was at an odd angle. He could have kicked him across the island or thrown him far enough into the sea. Hell, he should do any number of worse things, but it wouldn't mean anything if the man was already unconscious.

Shizuo took the knife and now dented metal case. He checked the contents inside and luckily the foam had kept the vials from breaking.

Krillin, or whatever the guy's name was, sewed the bloody skin flaps together while Henri lifted the man's leg. Cloth was tied tight below the knee to staunch the flow of blood.

There were pain filled gasps and words he could not understand but were probably curses in Mandarin. His skin was blanched where it wasn't slick with blood. But then again, all the men looked pale– that other Chinese guy especially as he sat with his head to his knees against a tree.

Jeez, it didn't look that bad.

Shizuo walked closer to Izaya who was keeping watch and scanning the trees. There was a chance that the masked man had circled around and was coming back for the other guy.

"There aren't so many supplies in there." It wasn't a question so Shizuo didn't bother answering. "A day's worth left if it's stretched. Can you open the case for me?"

Shizuo did. When Izaya took out a single sterile roll and the plastic container of saline solution, Shizuo didn't think it was worth it to hand over that dressing or let the liquid pass over the wound and tip closer to empty as it sloshed back closed. He didn't say anything because he didn't trust himself not to snap.

But Izaya seemed to read him by his posture. "A day more is all we need. We've already overstayed our welcome."

He ended up snappish anyway. "Our welcome?"

"Yeah," Izaya grinned like there was something humorous when really there wasn't anything fucking funny. "They'll realize it soon enough."

Izaya went over to the other body and reached for the beige bag that was seeping with blood. He maneuvered it free from the knife and heavy arm before slipping it over his own neck. The color was a close match to his sleeves and just as unfashionable. He took out the expensive sleek camera, looked through the lens, and adjusted it. A long crack was visible through the lens.

He brought it down and they both noticed a piece of plastic dangling from the strap. It was a small plastic name tag attached to it.

"Huppen Ziegler." Izaya read aloud and snapped a picture of the dead man before checking the image on the cracked screen and putting the camera away. He seemed to be thinking. "Oh, yeah." He nodded, " _Entschuldigung_."

Izaya grasped the handle and pulled. Blood gushed out, splattering. He cleaned the blade as he said, "it's really too bad that he died. He seemed nice, precisely the kind of nice that would have gotten him killed here quickly. He probably knew more, too..."

There was that gleam in his eyes, the same that Shizuo had seen so often it could turn his mood sour and angry in an instant. He used to hate that look. Despise it with a crushing intensity. But now as Izaya turned and looked from over his shoulder with that same cunning gleam and grin, Shizuo didn't feel any hate at all. He almost didn't catch what Izaya said.

"But he told us well enough."


	39. Coincidence?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a butt plug. Where did he think it’d go?

So Mura hadn't been lying about the boats.

He knew how they operated. Izaya could only assume before but now he knew, and that piece of information changed things. He had a means now. There was something out there floating near, bobbing up and down and so unsuspecting to what could happen to it. Even now, if Shizuo swam out there and managed to make holes in metal, trash the entire thing, become a sea monster extracting vengeance on the hapless humans before submerging into the murky waters, then...ah, it could never be that simple or easy, now could it?

Izaya’s thoughts paused as a few meters ahead of him, Wang stumbled with a moan of pain. Those laborious steps became heavier as the injured man put more and more weight across Tan’s helping shoulder. The bottom of his pajama pants was soaked. His slippers, too, were an ugly red that squished and bubbled at each limping step. They weren't going anywhere fast enough.

Though...after that last fight, what remained of his preserved energy had been swallowed up, leaving him weak-limbed and aching with hunger. Occasionally the sounds would come alive as his stomach clenched around nothing.

Thinking moved him forward in a way that his tired body was struggling with, so he thought of the men on those boats. The henchmen, making sure the island ran smoothly, cleaning up the mess of bodies, sipping their drinks as they watched what happened from the safety of their deck chairs, thought themselves safe and comfortable, but they had no idea that the monsters they were creating wouldn't fear their guns. It wouldn't take much convincing to get bloodthirsty killers to go after them if it came to that. Now that would be some quality entertainment right there.

Izaya grinned to himself.

Ah, but it wasn’t entertainment that would get them off the island. No, Izaya still needed to do more to stir up the structure of the game. He needed more people. Ideally, he needed the ones who were capable of fighting, who moved the game forward through their sheer will to survive, but those were also the players who enjoyed this game and flourished with each kill. Realistically, he wouldn’t have the time to pick and choose. Even the men with him now would die in less than two days. He couldn’t send them out when they wouldn’t survive. It would be so simple if there was a way to gather everyone on the island in one place without it becoming a bloodbath.

His headache throbbed and he put a hand over his bangs where it seemed to pound the most. A shot of anxiety had him cold and light-headed. Across his chest was the camera bag and Izaya had his injured arm resting over it like it was a sling. The weight of it was beginning to dig into his shoulder and set him off balance.

Shit, he needed to think properly.

As he took a heavy step, the trees along his vision slanted. He realized he was swaying right before he leaned into a tree. His coat was becoming stiff from dirt and drying sweat, and he felt the prickly uneven bark against his shoulder. Maybe he would have slid down further if something hadn't snagged his hood. He looked to his side and saw the grip that was keeping him up.

Shizuo didn't let him go when he pushed off the tree to stand straighter. “Ah. Got a bit dizzy for a second,” Izaya said easily. None of his fatigue showed and he was grateful for that. “Must be the heat.”

“You don't look okay,” Shizuo said gruffly as he scrutinized his face.

Izaya closed his eyes tightly to stop the black dots threatening to swarm his vision. It cleared and he was able to see Shizuo properly. “As I said must be from the heat.”

“Izaya–”

“All right. Yeah, we were going to stop soon anyway.”

With one last assessing look, Shizuo let go and Izaya found his balance precariously. The others hadn't quite noticed that brief interlude and Izaya got their attention.

“ _We're going to stop for a bit.”_

He told Kirill and Henri to look for food for the next half hour while Wang rested his leg. He doubted that they would be able to find something, but they looked confident as they headed out, spears poised ahead.

He observed them quietly. Wang wasn’t looking so good as his wound had bled past the dressings. Every so often the man would seeth with his teeth tight and his eyes squinted in pain. Tan kept watch on the rock he sat on. With each exhale, the curved knife he held quivered in a too tight hold.

Shizuo stood with his arms crossed. There was a smudge of dirt that began at his side and continued over his pants. Every so often his fingers would tighten or move like he wanted to do something with them. Definitely, if he had those cigarettes he’d be smoking one after the other or two at a time; the ash would flutter as it’d break off and the smoke would sour the air between them. Yes, Izaya was very glad Shizuo had ruined the pack.

Shizuo looked down where Izaya was sitting, probably noticing the too long stare that Izaya hadn’t quite realized himself. “What?”

“Nothing,” Izaya said and thought of something quick. “You have some dirt there.”

Izaya pointed and Shizuo swiped a palm against his skin only able to smear it. As Shizuo turned to examine the dirt, Izaya saw that it trailed along his back.

“Here too,” Izaya said as he pointed to his own back over his shoulder. Then on the other side where there wasn't any dirt, but Shizuo wouldn't know that. Izaya kept a straight face as he tried to get the spot and just spread more dirt over his skin.

“Did I get it?”

“Almost, but there’s a spot right here too.” Izaya pointed to his cheek.

Shizuo was about to wipe his face but then paused, seeming to realize the grin that Izaya wasn't doing a good job keeping down.

“Let me guess, there is also something here, here, and here,” Shizuo said as he pointed at random spots over him.

“What? No, of course not. The dirt is everywhere! It’s very distracting, Shizu-chan. Especially on your face.”

“Sure.” He said with a shrug.

“See, I’ll take a photo.” He worked the camera out from the bag and turned it on. Shizuo gave him a pointed look that Izaya saw through the tiny square viewfinder. “Come on, smile.” Shizuo just looked even more annoyed and the shutter was loud as the picture was taken.

Izaya put it down to see the displayed image. The quality was excellent, the pissed off look was in high resolution. “Huh...the lighting isn't so good. Maybe you should step in the sunlight.”

“Really?” Shizuo’s tone didn't believe him for a second but he still humored him by stepping into the sunlight.

“Smile,” Izaya said and Shizuo did the opposite.

When Izaya took the photo, he frowned in apparent thought. It was another perfect quality picture. “Too bright this time. I think you need to be standing half in sunlight and half in shade. No...stand against that fern. No, the other fern. Yeah, that’s great. Stay right there. You know how lighting is really important, right? Say cheese.”

“...Flea.”

Izaya grinned as he took another photo. In this one, Shizuo wasn’t pissed off or frowning. He wasn’t smiling of course, but his mouth was slightly open and it was probably as close to a smile as it would ever get.

“That’s funny...” Izaya muttered as he examined the zoomed in photo of Shizuo’s face for any imperfections and found none. “The dirt fell off. Must have been when you smiled and frightened the speck away.”

“Yeah, of course. And I didn't smile.”

Izaya took a picture of his own face and examined it. “Shizu-chan...!”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me how messy my hair is? Or how terrible the bruises are. Not to mention the dirt on _my_ face!”

“Well, I did say that you didn't look so good.”

“So mean,” Izaya said as he used his sleeve to scrub over his cheekbones. “And after I went through all that effort to get the dirt off from you? Unbelievable.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Izaya tried to flatten his hair where it had a mind of its own. The texture wasn’t smooth like it normally was. He couldn’t do anything about the bags under his eyes. Feeling the fatigue heavy on his lids, Izaya shut his eyes, turned away, and rested.

He was just about nodding off when footsteps began to approach. Immediately, he straightened and got his knife out. It wasn’t Kirill or Henri. It was a man they had never seen, still wet from a recent swim. There was mud all along his cargo pants and his vest was heavily stained brown, yellow and green. Too much sun had browned him, his fair hair had matted and looked more like the stringy roots of a plant.

Lifting dark hands with wide splayed fingers, he approached. There wasn’t a weapon that Izaya could see, but that didn’t mean anything. “ _I’ve been looking for you.”_ His accent was heavy and his voice deep.

Those eyes were looking at him but flicked over to Shizuo who was already hefting a torso sized rock from the ground. “ _I want to join your group. I saw how you fought off those two fighters. It was very impressive.”_

Shizuo didn’t hesitate or listen. He threw the rock and the man dodged it with light feet.

“You bastard!”  Shizuo yelled. “Think you could wash off the shit, huh? That I wouldn't notice you without all that shit?”

He threw another rock. By now Tan and Wang were scrambling back in the cover of ferns. The birds were shrieking as they flew off.

“You think he’s from that fight before?” Izaya called over.

The man took out a blade from under his shirt and Izaya saw it was of the same curved designed. He threw it, and Izaya easily allowed it pass by him. The wind brushed his hair and the knife thudded loudly in wood behind him.

A new rock was wrenched free and Shizuo dashed forward as he swung the massive weight forward.

The second sword the man pulled from his vest was useless against the force of Shizuo’s strength. The sword broke on impact. At the sixth punch, the man went flying, but not before there was the crisp snap of bones breaking. He flew like a punted football. He wouldn’t be standing after that crash, if not ever again.

The sounds surrounding them were hushed as if in awe. Izaya flicked his knife closed and put it away. Shizuo was still breathing hard, his body rigid and his fists clenching and unclenching. Tan stepped over a branch, and Shizuo turned towards him as an animal would zero in on its next prey, all-consuming and foul. The poor man fell to his back with his hands wild and his legs kicking up dirt like an upturned beetle. It was obvious he was most afraid of Shizuo than anyone else at this point.

Shizuo tsked and scanned the trees around them. Whatever danger was lurking was subdued by his display of violence.

Izaya then cursed in his mind. “You don’t think that he found Henri and Kirill first?”

That jagged breathing subsided, though his anger hadn’t fully left his system. He looked very much like what the humans feared when they thought of Heiwajima Shizuo. Maybe even worse since in his stained and ripped clothes there was an added layer of belligerence. Everything about him was screaming back off.

Izaya stepped around him. If Shizuo was paying any attention to him, he wasn't acting on it. It was probably the worst time that Henri decided to show up because Shizuo almost didn’t recognize the cheetah print sunglasses or the still clean polo shirt. The tree was in his hands before he got a good look at the guy and by then, Izaya was already coming forward and in Shizuo’s direct line of sight.

 _“Ah, Henri,”_ Izaya said. “ _You had me worried for a second. Where is Kirill?”_

 _“Actually...”_ Henri scratched his head as he thought of the right words to report. “ _He found someone he knows and he’s with him now. Sorry. We didn't find any food.”_

“ _An acquaintance? The man..._ ” Izaya had an odd feeling about this. “ _Was he Russian?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Huge?”_

_“Uh, yeah. Pretty big fellow I’d say.”_

Izaya asked the most important question next. “ _Was he naked?”_

Henri frowned. “ _I wouldn't say naked. He was wearing...”_ He gestured to his legs, _“a skirt.”_

 _“A skirt_?” Izaya pictured it in his mind and it wasn't pretty. He made a face like he tasted something too salty. But it was an improvement from the image of the man naked and flying through the air. Hadn’t he said not to talk with suspicious individuals? Shouldn't the giant naked man wearing a skirt be a red flag? He shook his head, but then realized how this could turn in his favor.

“ _All right, we’re going. Henri, could you carry the knives?”_

As they followed Henri, Izaya watched Shizuo’s body language. It was understandable as to why Shizuo was so angry, sheesh, it would be weird if he was calm, but working with a short-tempered Shizuo while also trying to get them out of this situation was like flying a hot air balloon with one too many holes, a faulty burner and no clear landing in sight. Now Izaya was beginning to suspect that it wasn’t so much of a lucky guess that Shizuo had pegged that man as one of the masked fellows, but that he had used it as an excuse for what he did. Then again, Shizuo’s instincts were often scarily on point.

Those tight forearms and veins smoothed out. His face lost most of its ire, but that grudging look never seemed to go away completely. If Shizuo did come in contact with Jakow it could turn ugly.

Izaya matched Shizuo’s steps. He didn't think there were any words that could make Shizuo see this his way without making a fuss, but it was the only way for it to work. “Kirill is with an acquaintance now. I believe it’s best that I go alone with Henri. Just so that it goes smoother.” Shizuo’s eyes narrowed. “I'm not going to run off if that’s what you’re worried about. I need this person’s cooperation.”

“Hah? What’s with this? What, you think I’ll get in the way or something?”

“No, but I do think if we all go together as a group it will only...scare the person off.” More like be thrown across the island as had happened twice before. The last time had stripped his clothes off in the process, and hadn't that been an obvious mistake on Shizuo’s part?

“And if this guy turns out to be a heavily armed murderer, like every other guy on this island, what then?”

“It’s a friend of Kirill's. It’ll be fine.”

“Sounds suspicious. That’s the Russian guy, right? What if his friend is Jakow?” At the name, Shizuo’s face pulled like he’d swallowed a fat bug. Izaya continued on before Shizuo stopped listening and acted without reason and decided that they better just leave Kirill and forget about this.

“I said it will be fine. And if anything happens I’ll come back quickly.”

“You’re joking, right? It’s too dangerous. What if it’s a trap or there’s an ambush?” His voice was rising and Izaya sighed loudly. His headache wasn't doing much better.

“Shizu-chan, unless you could promise to behave, then you can come. But that means no throwing. Do you think you could do that?”

Shizuo scowled. “It is Jakow, isn't it? Has to be.”

“Yes, it’s most likely him, but I think he could be useful. He—”

“What the fuck do you need him for anyway? He’s tried to kill us, or did you already forget that? You think he’ll just listen to you? You think he won't just try to kill you again?”

Shizuo stopped walking. The rest of the group looked back at them and Izaya put a hand on his forehead. “Shizu-chan, look, all right. I said it would be fine. If it's just me and him then I can handle the situation. You know I can. If you come with us, then it’ll only turn into a fight. He won't be joining us if that’s what’s bothering you.”

“That's not what's bothering me.” For a moment there wasn’t just anger in his expression. If Izaya didn't know any better, he’d think that there was a wild sense of fear. But it was gone in the wake of a crackle of fire, his expression solid with blazing eyes.

Izaya waited for Shizuo to elaborate but became impatient. “Oh, really? Then what is?”

“I don’t like it.” He said plain and simple.

Izaya should have been annoyed. He would have facepalmed if his hand wasn't already on his head. He let his hand drop to his side instead. “It’s not a matter of whether you like it or not. It’s about necessity. This needs to be done. Give me fifteen minutes and stay put. Don’t do anything reckless. This isn't negotiable.”

“I wouldn’t trust him. The guy is dangerous, flea, and you want to go alone?”

“Henri will be with me.” Shizuo’s expression showed exactly what he thought of Henri. “And I’ve dealt with far more deadly people than him. This is nothing. It will go smoothly and I’ll be careful. Remember? I'm an informant. It’s just like back home.”

Shizuo didn’t look like he would acquiesce anytime soon, but he cursed under his breath and actually listened.

“This is nothing like home. Ten minutes. And don't _you_ do anything reckless.”

Ten minutes? He was already being lenient with fifteen. It wasn't enough time, but he would have to make it enough. “Fine.”

Henri said they were close when they saw a lazy plume of smoke above the trees far off, and together they left alone. Shizuo didn't say anything when they walked off, but he was tense and obviously unhappy.

There was no longer a heavy weariness shackling his tired body. Izaya was determined to make this work. It had to. He couldn't afford to wait for the right people.

Something was cooking. The smell wafted through the air, making him weak in need and salivate. It also made him sharp.

The man did indeed turn out to be Jakow. He was talking in an easy manner, his voice almost jovial. Jakow had said that this island was a paradise. It made Izaya second guess whether Jakow really would be able to help.

When he and Henri were close enough to be heard, Jakow spoke. “ _Ah, friend. It’s nice to see you alive. Kirill has said many good things about you. Where is Shizu-chan? I was looking forward to seeing him again.”_ He wore a grass skirt like the ones that he’d expect from an indigenous tribe. But on Jakow it looked ridiculous like a flared out tutu, and hardly covered the essentials. How Kirill could talk with him with a straight face, Izaya had no idea.

Over the fire was a large snake cooking. Its skin was peeled away, the body cut in half, and the head was burning in the pit. It looked to be close to finished.

_“Hello, Jakow. Unfortunately, Shizu-chan won’t join us today. I actually don't have a lot of time. So I’ll have to make this quick.”_

_“I see. Well, that’s a shame. There was something I wanted to ask him, but I do believe you will do. But first, take a seat. You too, Henri.”_

They sat on a broken tree. His knife was in his sleeve ready at any moment. Kirill nodded to him.

“ _Did you know that this guy here has one of the best shots?”_ Jakow asked while motioning to Kirill, _“I’ve bought some guns from him too. You should see his taxidermy work. It goes for good price. I'd say museum quality. He makes excellent bird statues. Hey, did you ever sell that family of snowcocks?”_

_“Yeah, I sold them years ago. And don’t boast about me when you are the one with the best furs.”_

_“That’s all very nice, but I need to get to the point. Kirill, did you tell him about the collars?”_

_“I did. I was about to take the key out of his back before you arrived.”_

_“Good.”_

Drops from the cooking meat fell into the fire, making it pop and sizzle. Jakow flipped the snake over.

 _“Thank you for telling me how to remove this pesky collar. It’s beginning to give me a terrible itch. Can’t reach it because my fingers are too big.”_ He picked up a piece of wood and used it to scratch his skin under the collar.

_“You might still have trouble finding a match for your key, though. What I actually have in mind is to put an end to this game entirely. You see, it doesn't end when the collar comes off.”_

_“Shizu-chan was your match then. Makes sense. So you and him, huh? Bah! Should have told me! Well, now that message on the sand makes some sense. You know I found something very interesting that fell from the sky.”_ He pulled out a smartphone from somewhere under his skirt. Izaya deliberately didn’t look. “ _It died last night right before the climax of the movie. Which is why I’m really glad to see you.”_

It was more than a good guess. Call it a premonition, because Izaya didn’t know how he recognized that phone after seeing it only once, but he was sure that wide screen and sleek, red case was familiar. It sent an unpleasant chill through him. And then he knew where he had seen it: in AC’s hand.

_“It’s the one where you two do magic with the black bathrobes and the- oh that’s right, vibrating wands. So I was at end of movie where you and Shizu-chan are standing in front of big mirror in the philosopher’s bedchamber looking for the butt plug that grants eternal youth and virility as long as you wear it. Now I must know, did you two find it? And where was it hiding?”_

His face had gone more and more hot in mortification. “...”  It was a butt plug. Where did he think it’d go? _“My memory is a little hazy. Probably...it was in one of our...pockets...”_ He managed to finish with a straight face.

“ _You two are actors?”_ Kirill asked. Henri, the lucky bastard, had no idea what was going on. _“No,”_ Kirill looked for confirmation. _“Not exactly actors...?”_ His eyebrows went up and he looked over at Henri who was oblivious.

“ _It’s...complicated.”_ It would take too long to explain the truth and Izaya hadn’t the faintest clue how to explain the videos on the phone without looking like a complete liar.

_“So you do find it? Good, good. Because the evil guy, Lord Hornymort, was looking for it too."_

_“Uh, about the collars—”_

_“And in the one film, it was...ah, it was..‘I Don’t Know What Happened’. Well, I watched that twice and still don’t know what happened? It was like watching art that made no sense and yet it was most definitely the most stimulating thing I’ve ever seen. And in the Mona Lisa Was Stolen, Again! I never thought I’d cry, but the art thief, who was you, was only after Shizu-chan the entire time. Again! It was very touching.”_

Izaya wanted to throw up a little in his mouth at how terrible it sounded. It must have been minutes of lost time, and if Shizuo did come and Jakow asked him these inane things, there was no way Jakow would be left breathing. _“Ah, yes, I suppose it was a tear jerker. But really, I only have a few minutes left. Maybe we can chat about this another day, right?”_

_“Ah, that’s too bad. Make it promise then. So you’re saying that you want to end this game? That’s quite bold of you.”_

_“Yes, and I believe you could help. It’s the only way to get off this island completely.”_

_“And what would you have me do?”_

_“Two things. First, spread the word about the collars and how pointless the game is. There are boats with helicopters surrounding the island. It’s pointless to attack them directly when the men there are heavily armed. Which means that I need as many people to set this island on fire with as much smoke to get enough attention. Think you could set the island on fire?”_

Jakow rubbed his silver beard as he thought. _“And then after it’s on fire, what then?”_

_“They won’t be able to continue this game if it gets out of hand. They won't risk exposure. It’ll force them to either wrap it up or change the game completely. Most likely you’ll be taken home.”_

It wasn’t exactly true. But Izaya didn't care as much what would happen to him. Maybe they would punish Jakow for assisting, but most likely they wouldn’t kill him because of all the men he killed, they'd sooner hire him than kill him.

_“I see. And what signal will you give?”_

_“I’ll set this side of the island on fire. When you see a large amount of smoke, then you start on your end. And if not tomorrow then the next day start the fire without me. Will you do this for me?”_

Jakow’s dark eyes and black furrowed brows showed that at least he was taking this seriously. Suddenly he grinned. _“You know what? I like you a lot, my friend. You and Shizu-chan make an interesting pair, you’re very smart and he’s very strong and good in bed. I’ll help. It’s too bad he’s not here right now. I didn’t get to finish showing him what a banya is. How about you take some of this as gift, for you and Shizu-chan?”_ The snake was lifted and Jakow took out a knife.

_“Is that a python?”_

“ _Python? This one could be. It was quite large. Pythons are nonvenomous, no?”_

_“They are.”_

Jakow cut the snake in half and offered it wrapped around a stick. _“Do not worry. It’s very delicious fresh. Many bones, but bones give it texture. You should take it as thanks and payment for the shark. And tell Shizu-chan that I’d really like to buy him drink. Maybe we can see who can hold their liquor best, wouldn't that be fun?”_

He took the stick with the long meter snake meat. “ _Sure. I’ll let him know, thanks.”_

_“I’ll travel to the other side of the island then. Kirill, you are coming with me, yes?”_

Kirill looked over at him and Izaya nodded.

“ _I will.”_

Izaya then looked at Henri who was lost to most of the conversation. _“Henri, do you want to go with them? They will travel to the other side of the island.”_ He said in English.

Henri probably hadn’t thought that they would end up separating. It was an obvious choice for him. Safer too.

_“I’ll go. Thanks, Izaya.”_

Izaya stood up. Surely ten minutes had passed and Shizuo would soon be upon them. There was no telling how displeased he’d be seeing the skirt-clad man. _“Good, then it’s settled. I’m counting on you, Jakow. When this is all over I hope you’ll be well.”_

Jakow nodded his head. _“Good luck, friend.”_

It was most likely the last time he would see the three of them. He was tempted to take a picture but thought better of it. Quickly he left.

It was all for the best. Now the game creators thought they knew what he was planning to do. It would be good if they tried their hardest to stop the fire, though more likely they would find a way to stop him before that could happen, but how they would Izaya was still anticipating.

Shizuo must have seen him first. The sound of his running alerted Izaya. How many times had he seen Shizuo with a street sign, a vending machine or a trash can as he was chased through the streets? Enough that he knew the sound of his steps from any other’s. It was probably the first time those steps weren’t heading his way with anger. The ingrained impulse to flee wasn’t there and yet he still felt a rush of lightness. He let himself imagine that Shizuo had actually worried about him and fretted while waiting.

When Shizuo caught up, Izaya grinned.

“So how did it go?” Shizuo asked first. “He didn't do anything, right?”

“No, of course not. It went fine.” He was met with skepticism. “Really, it did. Better than I thought it would go.”

“If you say so.” Whatever terrible and unfounded thoughts Shizuo had entertained himself with were leaving, as did the strain in his posture and the wary glare in his eyes. “What’s that?” He pointed to the snake and Izaya handed it over.

“A present from Jakow. He says hello.”

“Huh?” He turned the stick over in his hands. The smell of food was gnawing on him. “Seems pretty mild from what I’d expect from him.”

“Ah, yeah. Didn’t I say before that he was a charming fellow? He also said that one day he’d like to buy you a drink.”

“Tch. You turned him down for me, right?”

“Yeah, don't worry. I made it very clear that you weren't interested in anything short or long term. I think he got the message. I hope.”

“Is that even edible?” Their focus was on the snake again as Shizuo lifted it higher. He must be really starving if even this was making him salivate.

“Jakow’s going to eat the other half.”

“Yeah, but he also ate that contaminated shark.”

“Well, it’s protein and far better than those pink mushrooms that smell like unripe bananas.” He said as he pointed to the small cluster growing on the side of a tree.

“Hmm.”

Maybe that lightness he felt had a bit to do with how his planning was beginning to take shape and that there was food that looked passable to eat.

They returned to where Tan and Wang were waiting and broke off pieces of the cooked meat. The snake wasn’t at all unpleasant. It had a distinct flavor all of its own, a cross of fish and chicken, but tougher with too many bones.

Izaya felt more like himself after eating. He could keep going. That lightness was felt in his feet and in his easy steps. He didn't quite understand it, but he clung to it like it could keep him afloat and suspend him over the island where he could oversee it all.


	40. Feasting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had been sent to this island because they knew what he was and what he was capable of. He’d always known it too, because how could he not when that uncontrollable rage sent blood and bones erupting: his and anyone’s close by. He was a creature of violence, and on this island he could only be a monster.

If he didn’t think too hard about it, it was like eating something he just ordered by mistake that was also put together with the wrong ingredients, like a chicken burger made out of fish or pork with too many thin bones and no buns. It was good, delicious even, as he took large bites while not caring if he accidentally swallowed down something hard.

He looked over as Izaya worked the bones with his tongue before sticking the pieces from his mouth and then wiping it away with the back of his hand. Shizuo doubted he’d ever seen Izaya eat like this, not exactly messy, but not delicate either—kind of amusing, really. Shizuo was just glad that he didn’t have to see Izaya any skinnier than he already was.

He didn't as much mind the other two men who were eating quietly with much less enthusiasm.

“That was good,” Shizuo said when he finished his portion. He really wished that there was some way that he could eat it again, this time slower. He’d also gotten the biggest piece too, so it wasn’t like he could complain or anything.

“Mmhmm.”

Izaya was nearly halfway through his meal when he held it out for Shizuo. “Want half? I don’t think I can finish it.”

“Really?” It was tempting, very tempting, but he didn't want to take away his food. “You should finish it.”

“Actually, since my stomach shrunk it wouldn’t be good to eat too much or I’ll end up sick. Take half,” he then brought it closer to himself, as if realizing something. “Unless you don’t want to, of course.”

Shizuo looked at the cooked meat in Izaya’s hand. He doubted there’d be another chance to eat meat for awhile, and though Izaya couldn't eat so much, he sure could. “Okay, sure, then half.” He reached over from where he was sitting and took the cooked meat before tearing it in half, a bit of juice running over his fingers as he did so, and passing the rest back to Izaya.

This time he tried to savor it for longer. The flavor was good enough for him to not be grossed out about what the animal had once been. He didn’t care that Izaya’s mouth had been on it either. He dug out the bones first, nibbling on them when they had little flakes of meat.

His mood improved at the feeling of filling his stomach. It helped that he didn’t have to worry about those other two who left them. Now it was just these Chinese men, one who was injured, and the other who looked like he couldn’t fight a dead snake, let alone a dead man. Shizuo turned his head to watch as they whispered together, and every so often the hurt one would wince or whine.

He looked away and watched as Izaya now more carefully ate. Those eyes lifted to his, no longer so heavy or tired. If Shizuo was to guess, he’d think Izaya looked pleased.

They were too absorbed with eating to say much and when Shizuo finished, he picked between his teeth with a thin flat bone, but then remember the mouthwash and rinsed his mouth. He felt too full and content to move when it was time to get up, and they moved at an unhurried pace to an unknown destination.

As he walked, small beads of sweat ran down his back. It had been a cool morning, but now as the afternoon sun raged on, the humidity was a blanket over the island, pocketing the heat under the trees. He thought by now the weather would be cooling down, but it only threatened to be hotter. Passing through towering trees, Shizuo pictured home.

If he were home, what would he be doing? He could picture his empty apartment bare and dark. Though he didn't know what time it would be back home, huh? He might not be in his apartment but at work walking the streets of his city, passing through the familiar streets alongside Tom-san and Vorona. He definitely didn’t want to deal with the deadbeats, but they were still better than the men here. Even in his thoughts, a flare of a coat didn't go unnoticed. Maybe he would be chasing Izaya around, throwing shit to get him to stop. If none of this fucked-up island shit had happened, he would think nothing of it. That felt a lifetime ago. How long had it been, anyway?

“How long has it been? Since we came here?” Shizuo asked suddenly. The terrain was rockier, and sometimes they had to climb up steep rocks to continue their path. Now they had a view of the ocean. He was the only one who wasn’t breathing so hard, but he was sweating a lot.

“It’s been a week. 7 days exactly.”

“Hmm. Only a week.” It felt much longer than that. “Do you think someone would have been able to find us by now?”

Izaya took out the camera from the bag and looked out towards the ocean. While twisting the lens, he spoke. “Someone? If you're imagining Shinra and Celty somehow tracking us down, then don't. Shinra is probably enjoying this odd peaceful week with Celty.”

“I wasn't talking about Shinra.”

“Then unless your brother has a tracking device or a chip implanted in you that you don't know about, then that’s pretty much everyone out of the picture.”

“Well, what about you? Don’t you have all of those gangs and the Yakuza to do your bidding?”

He looked in a new direction. “Really, Shizu-chan, I may on occasion do business, but I freelance to those who interest me, and while I could pay some people to do what I want, it becomes rather difficult to do that now with communication being cut. The action plans that I do have for the improbable case that I ever go missing aren't enough to help us now. It is possible, though very unlikely, that I’ve been tracked here, and even less likely for anyone to come and retrieve us. That would take a real mission and much more money than what has been arranged. And anyway, no one is meant to cross the boats.”

When Izaya finally stopped talking, Shizuo spoke. “Business, huh?”

“Is that all you heard? Is that when you stopped listening?”

“No. I heard enough.”

“Oh, did you now? Then let’s just be clear about this, business isn't possible from the outside, but it’s not completely cut off from here. You may not like these guys, I get it, but just bear with them for a while longer. Let me handle them.”

Shizuo didn’t like that at all, he still didn’t think it was a good idea, and he didn't like anyone so far on this island. In a couple of hours it would become dark, and then what? Izaya didn’t actually plan to sleep near these guys, right?

“What about tonight? You’re gonna let them sleep near us?”

“We can take turns keeping watch.”

He made a low disapproving noise that went ignored. The camera went back in the bag.

“And besides,” Izaya continued. “They don't know about the other rule so they aren't even thinking about trying to kill us to gain more time. Not that they could, anyway.”

Looking back at them now, the other two guys didn’t look like they’d make it through another hour. Their faces were sweaty and gross. Just seeing that and he felt sweaty all over again. Fuck!

“Shit, it’s too hot. C’mon, let’s cool down in the stream.”

“Yeah,” Izaya said as he pushed back his damp bangs. “That would be good.” They had been walking almost parallel to the water source, so it only took a few minutes to hear the steady flow of water.

“ _Everyone keep watch,”_ Izaya said. The current was slow going and not so deep. At some points there were more weeds and rocks than water. In the shade of one boulder, the water pooled deep enough to sit comfortably, and it was there that Shizuo began to strip.

With the way his pants were sticking to his skin, Shizuo figured that he’d let them wash. There was a tinge of guilt he felt for the state of his once perfect outfit that now had holes, tears, stains, and was stiff and lost that satiny feel. He let his beloved pants drift in the running water before shaking, ringing, and hanging them where they were a short grab away.

Shizuo washed his body quickly. The sweat that had been running down his torso was replaced with cool water. With his hair dripping, Shizuo eased back against the cool stone. From here, he had a good view of the stream in both directions including where the other two men were sitting and cooling off.

The tree creaked as Izaya hung his wet jacket. He was tugging off his black pants and they were down to his knees when Shizuo thought to look away.

There were many places to choose from, yet Izaya came closer and Shizuo made room enough by shifting over. Izaya sat next to him with a short sigh and knees drawn up, poking out of the water. The flush of heat hadn’t quite left his face as he splashed water over himself. Izaya spent some time repeating the motion over his neck with only one hand.

A small rock was jabbing against his thigh and Shizuo reached down for it. It was small and smooth on one side, and needing something simple to occupy his hands, he tossed it in the air before catching it. He did this a few times before it was knocked off course by another stone and plopped and was swallowed by the water. He retrieved it with his foot.

“Hey, how about throwing it a bit further?”

He glanced over at Izaya who was equally waist deep in water. Another rock was in his hand. Shizuo, understanding now, nodded, and when he threw this rock, it went further and was about to sail in a perfect arc before it was struck by a blur and sent flying off course into a patch of ferns.

“Hmm.”

With a tinge of satisfaction, Izaya grinned. “You can throw harder than that, Shizu-chan.”

“Obviously.”

“Come on, make it a challenge.”

Shizuo tsked before reaching below him and feeling for a new rock. The one he found was flat and jagged. “Ready?”

“Yeah.”

He aimed upstream this time, higher too, so that it wouldn't be stopped by any obstructions. It was while the rock was descending that a flash of grey nicked it, though it wasn't enough to change its course. The rocks dropped into the stream.

“Close. If that had been my other hand I would have gotten it. Ah, oh well.”

“I think you got it,” Shizuo said. “How is your arm? The other one?”

“This?” Izaya lifted it, and without the coat, the white layers of bandage covering his wrist and hand were visible. “Not so bad.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Shizuo didn’t believe him. Remembering who had messed up his wrist rankled him, made him sick with guilt. It wasn’t right that he could feel normal or even content when he deserved nothing of the sort. 

“It’s about time for the medication," Izaya said.

“Okay, I’ll get it.”

“Wait, you don’t have to do it now.” But Shizuo was already up and heading where he had put down the metal case next to a palm tree. The handle was warm from the sun. He returned and set the case on a flat rock before opening it and applying hand sanitizer.

“Show me your shoulder.”

“I can do it myself,” Izaya mumbled but bared his shoulder all the same. There were light purple marks where the needle had pierced the skin. One, in particular, was a raised purple bump and Shizuo realized that it was probably from that time when he pushed the needle into him harder than necessary. Shizuo was focused as he wiped the skin, choosing a spot below the purple pinpricks and lifting the muscle underneath with his thumb and index finger. He carefully slid the needle in and administered the shot.

Izaya didn't move or flinch as the needle retracted and was replaced again. Shizuo was so focused, he hadn't realized how close he had gotten. His gaze flicked up and Izaya was watching him lazily. Shizuo, feeling dumb for no reason besides that he felt dumb, stepped back.

“How’s your hand now?”

“All good. I think you are getting better at this. Maybe I should be seeing you instead of Shinra, right? Half the time it feels like he’s  shooing me out the door once he’s done. The other half of the time you can guess what he’s going off about.”

“Hmm. Does it hurt?”

“It's nowhere near as bad as it was. Thanks.” Izaya’s hand dipped through the water and he resumed washing his upper body.

“I see.” And yet, he couldn’t believe it. The vials in the metal case were reaching their end. There was only one remaining sterile roll of bandages left. The medical supplies were nearly gone, and Shizuo could not imagine retrieving nine more collars and going through with—

—his hands gripping the flesh of a living man and snapping and tearing that life away.

Those same hands went under the current bunched up into fists.

Of course, he didn’t deserve a moment of peace. To forget for even a second and he could lose control and...

“-right?” Izaya said something and Shizuo met his eyes.

“What?”

“I asked if you are all right?”

“I’m fine.” He said low and strained. He needed to stop thinking. Closing his eyes didn't help any. What if... _shit_. What if he did it again? Back home, if someone really pissed him off and—

Little flecks of water landed against his cheek. “Are you even listening?” Izaya asked.

“What were you saying again?”

“I think it’s getting dark soon. We only have an hour or so left of sunlight. We should be thinking of making camp and where to sleep.”

Tilting his head up, there above them was a lovely blue. “So where were you thinking of sleeping around, huh?”

“Oh,” Izaya’s face broke into an easy, teasing grin. “I'm so glad you asked. Now, where would be a good place to sleep around, hmm? I've never slept with anyone next to a stream before. Maybe we should go further in that way, deeper, where no one can see us." Izaya pointed in a random direction behind his head, and Shizuo was sure he heard those same words a long time ago. It sounded familiar. "Though...my backside is going to take quite a beating. The ground can get a little bumpy. Hey, are you paying attention?”

Then he remebered the first day they were here and had the same conversation. “Jeez, c’mon, it wasn’t even funny the first time. How do you even remember that shit?”

“Shit?” Izaya scoffed. “How rude! I was giving you a straight answer.”

“Nope. Not this time. Not doing this again.”

“Doing this again? Aw. You were supposed to say ‘you’re doing it again’. So close! Not even for old times sake?”

He shook his head. Then he did remember something. It was on the tip of his tongue. “Ugh. What was that again? The biggest...”

“That’s right! The biggest innuendo you’ve ever seen!”

“Yeah, then we’re done. We went through the entire thing by now, right?”

“The entire _thing_? Hah! See you _can_ do it! Of course, it wasn’t the entire thing! It was just the tip of the iceberg!”

“I wasn’t...ah dammit!”

Izaya grinned that sly grin of his. “You’re not going to chase me around the island again this time, right?”

“Hmm.” Shizuo grumbled. “I’m thinking about it.”

“So mean! You wouldn't seriously think about a high-speed chase practically naked! Think about your pants. Someone might steal them.”

There were crazy bastards out there for sure, but Shizuo doubted that they were out for his pants. Not in the state they were in now. “Nope, still thinking about it. You know, for old times sake.”

“What? Shizu-chan! How scandalous!”

“I hate that word.”

“Scandalous?”

“Yeah, it’s annoying.”

“Okay then...” Izaya made a face. “Obscene?”

“Hmm. Still annoying.”

“Lascivious?”

“I hate big words.”

“Fine, lewd?”

“Are you kidding me?” Shizuo growled.

“How could you possibly hate a word?”

“If it's annoying, it's annoying.”

“Oh, all right, indecent. There can't possibly be something wrong with that. No, you know what, you’re missing the point.”

“Am I? Got you off track, didn’t I?”

“What! Sheesh. I can’t believe you sometimes.”

“Says the one who’s suggesting to run around practically naked.”

“I wasn’t suggesting it,” Izaya said as if he could fool himself.

“Sure sounded like that to me.”

“I wasn’t in favor for it, you were the one who was actually considering it.”

“Pfffttt. As if.”

“Hmmph. Must be nice having a selective memory.” Izaya said as he splashed water over the back of his neck. His bangs were now wet and little drops were falling at the ends down to his shoulders.

Selective memory, what the hell was with that? His memory was fine. Maybe it wasn’t freakishly good, but fuck would it be nice if he could just forget some things. But no, that wasn’t right either. He could never be that lucky.

As they left the creek with clothes damp at the cuffs, Shizuo’s thoughts continued to churn.

It wasn’t okay that at certain moments when he was blissfully unaware or distracted, he could forget. It was a glimpse of normalcy that he no longer had the right to, and shit did it make him feel.

It was because of Izaya that he could almost forget, he knew this and yet he didn't understand because Izaya sure as hell reminded him at any chance that he was a monster. Not that he needed the reminder at this point, fuck, was he any more of an idiot? The reminder was there, walking next to him, unaware of what he did. Izaya would be so elated knowing that he was right all along.

It was only a miracle that he had never killed anyone back in Tokyo, with all of those idiots dumb enough to test him; assholes who had no idea that they could be flattened like insects. They would still bother him even if they knew their head could come off as if it were a plastic doll’s. Good then. Why should he get peace? If he couldn't get it his entire life, it was obvious that he wasn’t meant for it. And fuck all those morons who couldn't see what they were dealing with. Pissing him off and pissing him off some more. They didn't give a fuck! They never apologized for what they did to him. So what did it matter if he didn't too?

Shizuo unintentionally broke a tree branch, snapping the thick branch, and it only served to remind him what he was.

The clouds overhead became rich with gold and orange tones, while trees were stretching dark silhouettes. Every so often, long dead leaves and sticks would crinkle and snap noisily. They could just barely hear the slow current of the stream. Around them, the temperature cooled.

The only thing that Shizuo felt right about was if he could get Izaya out of here safely. If he could manage that, then maybe it wouldn't be for nothing. Maybe he could figure out what to do next. And then with what he had done to Izaya, almost killing him, then maybe he could let that go. Bury it if that were ever possible.

The figure walking beside him was becoming difficult to discern in the fading light. They were quiet in the hush of dusk slipping through the leaves and settling over the insects. A terrible feeling sunk its claws in Shizuo and his nose wrinkled as something foul approached.

They would have been lucky if they’d only stumbled upon a dead body, but the men who approached them were alive, and Shizuo would have rather that they were dead. There were four of them, a group as big as their own, with obvious blades in their hands.

Shizuo took a heavy step forward and Izaya was quicker as he grabbed onto his wrist. “Hold on a second.” He could have ignored that warning tone and scared off those men. Instead, he watched with narrowed eyes as they came. Fuck! He would think that they had crawled out of a dumpster, smelling like such shit and the dead, that Shizuo could hardly believe they weren’t literal shit. He didn’t like the look of them either. He knew the type. Even in the low light, he could make out jaws tight and ready for a fight, eyes keen and dogged, sweat that was sour and would usually be covered in piss-smelling cologne. Yeah, there was nothing good about any of them, because these men were a product of the island.

One man spoke first in Japanese. “Are you the ones who plan to end this game?”

“News travels fast,” Izaya said next to him. That hand was still holding him back. “That's what we plan to do.”

There were thick black bands against their necks.

“A man called AC told us about the keys and to find you if we wished. We’ve come to offer our help. Most of us don't have enough time left anyway to hope to find the proper keys.”

“And what are your names?”

“I am Oogami Sakai. I’m the only one who speaks Japanese in our group.”

When the others were introduced, Shizuo hadn’t bothered trying to remember their names. One man was dark-skinned and spoke in a heavy accent that he couldn't understand. The other two didn’t say anything, and Shizuo didn’t know what they spoke or where they were from.

But when Izaya let go of his wrist, he stood frozen. “Then you can join us.”

“Izaya.” His tone was coarse and prickly. “Not these people.”

“Shizu-chan, we don't have time to be picky. Remember what we talked about?”

Honestly, he had no idea what Izaya was talking about. “What?”

“They’ll only be with us for a short time. I’ll deal with them, okay. I need their cooperation.”

“Izaya...”

“Yes?”

There was no way that he could explain the vile wrongness in the pit of his stomach. “Don’t.” But Izaya’s expression remained unwavering. Shizuo had half a mind to throw him over his shoulder and run. Forget about whatever shitty plan he was playing at.

“This will come to an end soon.”

He didn’t like it. It frustrated him that he couldn't get Izaya to understand.

The hour passed, night submerged the island in almost complete blackness. The moon was only as thin as a pencil shaving. They had stopped in a tight clearing of trees and were now resting along slabs of granite and the scattered roots of trees. If Izaya was bothered that Shizuo was as close as a second shadow, he didn't say anything about it. Atop smooth stone and long leaves, he made himself comfortable, while Shizuo sat on the ground, and it was close enough to feel the warmth and on occasion a brush against his shoulder.

 _"You now have 11 hours remaining. Good luck.”_ A red light blinked and the English recording ended.

Someone shifted, coughed, and dragged a heavy leg through the foliage. The silence was unnerving as if many eyes were peering at them now. Someone was supposed to be keeping watch for the next few hours, but he didn’t know who. But it didn't matter because he wasn't going to sleep anyway. A light came on from a smartphone, illuminating a scraggly beard and a haggard face.

The temperature subtly decreased by the hours. It was after the light changed hands and the watch switched, that the others began to drift to sleep. He wondered who the hell could be snoring at a time like this, but someone else kicked the guy to wake him up. Soon Izaya’s breathing changed too. Above them, the clusters of stars twinkled prettily and Shizuo stared up at the Milky Way.

 _“You now have 9 hours remaining. Good luck.”_ It could have been the same or a different collar.

It was impossible to gauge how much time passed, but Shizuo continued to stare in the void around them, ready for any moment that one of the men decided it was time to whip out his knife. Maybe they were waiting for him to sleep, because Shizuo made sure whoever was up to let them know he was watching. If he had his cigarettes, he would have been smoking them the entire night. He occasionally cracked his knuckles or peeled away the roots by his feet.

It must have been a few hours later that the helicopters came. It was a low sound at first, and the others began to shift as the leaves swayed as if from a storm. Lights from screens came on. Drawn out groans and stretches went around. Someone’s back cracked as they stretched. The warmth of Izaya’s leg left as he sat up and moved.

They all looked up as a black helicopter passed overhead, blotting out the stars as it hovered over them for a long three seconds before passing. Through the trees, something was falling and gently gliding as it weaved its way down. There were many things fluttering. Lights flashed up, and it became apparent that it was all paper.

Izaya caught one first, and while the others had a light and were looking over their own papers, Shizuo and Izaya only had the light from his lighter that they pressed closely to the paper. He saw the black and white pictures first. One was of him, unflattering in his rage. He had no idea from where they had gotten it, but it reminded him of that night he had beat Izaya close to death in the control room and had seen himself in the video feed. The photo in the middle was of Izaya, also black and white, poised with a knife and a cutting grin. Jakow was on the other end, an ax held across his shoulder.

“Ah,” Izaya said softly above him.

He found the writing in Japanese, running vertically from the right side of the page. It read: kill any of these men and you beat the game.

At the first sudden move—a blade coming at them in the dark—Shizuo let loose, held nothing back as he lunged. Something sharp hit his arm and it was the last thing he felt as he ripped it free and threw it.

The darkness laid cover for each thrashing limb. Momentary flashes of light spied an arm or a face and Shizuo would be upon it in seconds, arms outstretched and hands seizing whatever he could grasp and molding that into pulp between his fingers. What he could not see, he heard, and each staggering step turned to a crisp crack as he descended and maimed. Pulling forward and back till it gave way and wet warmth sprayed across his arms. Something hit him hard and it only fueled his rage as he lashed out and crushed whatever his fingers touched whether it be trees, rocks, or bodies. Hair was caught under his fingers before he brought a head into the ground.

Shizuo, leaving nothing untouched, became slick with blood and sweat. The evidence of his rampage cloaked him in hot wet streaks that caught the dim light. Roars for fighting became hoarse with terror. Crunching, hissing, gnashing: they became like skewered bugs. All around him, the forest quivered as the leaves shook and the earth vibrated after each blow.

The only sound was Shizuo’s deep-belly breaths. In the darkness, he could not see what he had done, but the damage was clinging to him, howling in his veins, pounding in his ears as if the silence was in screaming agony. Shizuo looked up as he took a deep breath and he wanted to roar back at the night.

He thought he could hear stifled moaning but it was in the back of his mind as he circled around twice, squinting in the dark and looking for fur lining.

Every broken limb looked so terribly fragile and slender, like dead broken branches that would snap if he stepped over them. Pain caught in his throat as he tried to pick the bodies apart and the blood of many bodies ran freely down his arms as if from open wounds. The silence was testament to what he’d done, with each sinking breath the growing dread, still slow and terrified to process his surroundings, festered and feasted.

“ _Game over.”_


	41. No longer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sounds only became worse, inhuman and beastly

At first, the sounds of smacking and punching were something he'd expect and Izaya didn't think much of it as he waited behind a rock for the fight to end. He couldn't see anything and the paper still in his hand crumpled and turned damp from his sweaty hold.

A crack, different than the split of a tree, preceded a soft crunch. Amidst a series of thuds, like a slab of meat being tossed around, the ground trembled. Wisely, he stepped further away. It was a good thing too when the rock he had been near broke and small pebbles scattered.

Maybe these men were beginning to understand how useless this was because he heard the footsteps of some individuals smart enough to get away. The trees fell and crashed to the floor. The longer the fight continued, the more able Izaya was to feel each crisp snap of bone and the more Izaya had the urge to stop Shizuo. But getting in his way would only prove fatal. He kept quiet not out of fear or self-preservation, he kept quiet because this was no fight between men. If the others didn't realize it before, they had to now as their bodies bent and contorted to Shizuo's rage.

He knew this wasn't Shizuo's complete fault either. There had been a brief moment when he caught the fluttering paper that he could have talked his way out of this. He could have convinced Shizuo to run with him, but that moment had been swallowed up in his throat as one of the idiots, eager to seize victory, drew his blade. That was all it took for Shizuo to act. Quicker than words or reason were Shizuo's fists.

The sounds only became worse, inhuman and beastly; as if all the island's wronged dead had sprung from the obscurity of pitch blackness and blind derangement, the night became a thing that consumed.

It was good then it was unseeable. Izaya didn't want to know. But he knew from the noise that someone would be dead, and he could do nothing. This was equally his fault because he let it happen. He should stop it now.

He couldn't move. Sick to his stomach, Izaya couldn't stop this from happening. He couldn't control Shizuo. Not when he was like this. Logically he knew going in the thick of Shizuo's rage would only get himself killed. But the longer this continued the more Izaya detested his own inactivity. It was a mistake on his own part that he hadn't gotten to Shizuo first, but there was no way he would have been able to handle Shizuo in his rage while simultaneously fighting the men.

Hearing the death-like silence afterwards, Izaya regretted ever wishing for Shizuo to become this. He waited longer for that crazed anger to disappear. A collar went off and the groaning stopped too. Izaya hoped that the rest of the men, if they were alive, were playing dead so that Shizuo wouldn't be tempted to finish the job.

It became quiet with the faraway noise of the helicopters. It was over, but the tension in the air was just as thick.

"Izaya...?" His own name sounded so unsure and small, pained and unnatural. It was aberrant after such chaos.

Izaya stepped near. Beyond the cracked rock, there was a tiny stream of light from a cell phone screen. It illuminated only the span of a meter, not enough to see where Shizuo was.

"Yeah, I'm here," Izaya said. He slowly stepped closer to the source of the light and caught his step over a lump that he didn't want to think about. Shizuo didn't respond.

When he reached for the light, he shined it on himself first, just in case so that Shizuo wouldn't think he was someone else. It was a cruel temptation to want to point the light down to examine the carnage, and he purposely didn't, though he could still see deep red areas. He saw the metal case and picked it up while still pointing the light ahead. A figure stood with hunched shoulders and a bowed head. Izaya went closer to Shizuo. He didn't know what exactly to say, but he spoke anyway, thinking that it would help.

"Shizu-chan...I'm coming towards you." There was no knowing if Shizuo had even heard him, as he hadn't moved from his position, but the blood shining in the light spoke volumes. "We need to leave here, all right? We don't know if more people will be looking for us... Shizu-chan?"

He wasn't tense like Izaya expected, instead, his arms were loose by his side and his head was hung. It was obvious that Shizuo was going through intense emotional shock, though how badly, Izaya didn't know. They had to get out of here fast because staying here would be the worse thing for him.

"Come on, we have to go...I'm going to touch you." With his good hand, Izaya nudged a spot where there wasn't any blood on his arm. Shizuo didn't flinch back, and he took it as a good sign as he looped his elbow with Shizuo's arm. But when he stepped forward, Shizuo wouldn't budge. Putting a bit of force was like trying to pull a truck. Impossible if he even had two working hands.

He turned around, and only then did he realize that he hadn't gotten a good look at his face. His expression was one of complete dejection. He was looking down, and even Izaya didn't want to see the blood at their feet. "Shizu-chan, we can talk about this if you want, but here isn't a good place. We have to go." It took some more coaxing and pushing for Shizuo to finally take a step forward. The stream was close by and if Shizuo could wash off the blood, maybe he'd come to his senses.

But when they got there and Shizuo stood there without any intention to go in, Izaya endured that ill feeling inside of him. He went in the water first, not bothering to take off his shoes. The phone was propped on a rock. "You better wash off."

Izaya didn't think that Shizuo was willing to say anything as he cupped one hand and dipped it into the cool water before drawing it closer; however, he did.

"I thought," Shizuo started with that same strange, raw tone. He swallowed as he struggled with whatever he needed to say while Izaya waited. "I thought I killed you."

Izaya blinked at him. So this was what Shizuo was worried about?

The laughter came out before he knew how terrible it was of him.

"It's not funny!" Shizuo snapped, and Izaya thought it was good; this sounded more like him.

"No," he amended. "It's not. You didn't do anything to me. You didn't hurt me at all. See." He spread out his arms as he moved to face Shizuo. "Not a scratch on me."

"Izaya. I thought I killed you." Shizuo repeated as if he hadn't heard. "I thought...you were dead."

"Nope. I'm very much alive."

"That's not...you don't get it. I could have killed you. I would have. I killed them—fuck. Fuck! I-"

"You did what you had to. They attacked us first. It was self-defense."

"That...wasn't self-defense. Don't even try to pull that shit on me."

"It was! They would have killed us. They were going to!" Izaya emptied his palm over Shizuo's shoulder, and the water streamed down without seeming to make a difference. Just as he was getting another handful, Shizuo moved back. His face was that strange mixture like he was in pain. Izaya had never seen him in pain.

"Don't—Izaya, I killed them with my hands!" He brought those same hands, wet with water and diluted blood like it was fresh, forward. "I ripped them apart. I crushed their bones. I bashed their heads. I did that. And I thought that I did the same to you."

"But you didn't. And maybe just one person died, the others could have run off." The blood as dark as ink was dripping from his hands, and Izaya noticed the wound on his bicep. "You're bleeding." Shizuo didn't bother to look where Izaya was pointing and where blood flowed freely. "Rinse it off." When Shizuo still would not move, Izaya tacked on a quiet "please." Shizuo finally relented, sat in the water, and began to wash himself fully.

From the metal case, Izaya retrieved the small bottle of saline first. He had a bit of trouble uncapping it but managed.

"Don't waste your supplies."

"I'll only use a little then."

"I said don't waste it." He raised his voice.

Izaya ignored him as he poured a small amount over the wound. He went and got the white gauze next and this time Shizuo did turn his arm away. "I don't need it."

"It's deeper than you think it is."

"I don't care. That's the last one, right?"

"I think there's another roll."

"Don't," Taut and exhausted with a hint of teeth, Shizuo spoke. "Don't lie to me."

"Okay, fine. Sorry. Just this much then." It took some work, but he cut the gauze just a hand's width apart. He placed it against Shizuo's arm and the blood seeped through like it was biting into skin. He wanted to put more on, but he doubted Shizuo would be okay with it.

A piece of paper floated down the water, and Izaya didn't need to look to see that it was the same as the ones that fell from the sky. Now the entire island would be after them. "We should go." Except that there were very little places that they could go. He wasn't entirely sure where that cave was anymore either, but he knew the general direction.

It was time to get rid of the metal briefcase that in all probability had a hidden camera, and since the case was mostly empty, Izaya put the remaining supplies with the camera strapped around his neck.

This time Izaya didn't have to link arms with Shizuo as he followed silently. Their path was soundless besides their soft wet steps. With the help of the screen light, they could move quickly, and they didn't cross paths with anyone searching for them in the dark of night. Maybe it was lucky because Izaya wasn't sure how Shizuo would fare lashing out again this night. Or any time after this.

It was mostly just trees surrounding them, but soon, if he focused hard, there was the outline of a cliff side. Shizuo began to go towards the left and as the rock wall extended on either side of them and they walked alongside it. A boulder came to view. Izaya scrutinized the familiar entranceway for any traps that they could have been implanted, but from what he could discern, it remained as it had when they left that morning. "Careful, someone could have tampered with it."

Shizuo made a noise from the back of his throat then put his hands against the solid rock. "Step back."

Izaya did, and nothing happened as the boulder rolled on its side. The light revealed nothing but the plentiful leaves on the ground, the charcoal ashes of the firepit, and the supplies they had left. Izaya ducked inside first, the smell of bitter peppermint and smoke was familiar. This was where he had almost died. That didn't stop him from taking comfort as he shifted into the cramped space. A dark lump took the corner, and when he shined the light on it, he found it was the double coconut that Shizuo had left here, forgotten and out of place. His shoes were wet and he placed them against the cave wall to dry.

The rock door shut out the outside. Shizuo leaned against the opposite wall and while there was enough room for both of them to stretch out their legs, and while Izaya did, Shizuo did not. The phone's battery was nearing its end, and Izaya set an alarm for four hours time before he put it down. "I'll have to turn the light off if we want it to last."

Across from him, Shizuo had his knees drawn and his arms resting on them. His head was down. It was too dark to read his expression, but Izaya could guess what it was. Everything became viciously dark as the light was turned off. It was the last, stark image of him he saw.

"How can you stand being near me?" Shizuo said suddenly, his tone as deprecating as what he was saying.

"Hmm?"

"I could kill you. And you're fine sitting here essentially trapped."

"Well, are you going to kill me?"

He tsked. "I could by accident. You were right about me, y'know that. I am a monster."

"Shizu-chan—"

"If you had been standing close enough, I would have grabbed you too. I would have snapped your bones and crushed you to death. And you know what? I wouldn't have known the fucking difference between you and them. So how could you possibly be okay with being anywhere near me?"

"Of course you wouldn't have known the difference. It was dark and you couldn't see what you were doing. We were being attacked and you were defending."

"No," he said as if rejecting the words completely. "Defending is not tearing people apart. It's not bashing their skulls in or ripping their heads off!"

"It is if they attacked first. Don't you always say that if someone is trying to kill you then they should be prepared to be killed in turn? They took that risk, that's on them." There was a noise like crinkling, Shizuo must have grabbed the leaves on the ground. "And you're forgetting something important. I'm not in danger of you if that's what you're worried about. You used to try to kill me all the time, but you never managed to—"

"What the hell are you talking about? I _did_ almost kill you! I nearly beat you to death. I was going to. I cracked the bones in your wrist. I almost crushed them completely. I— _fuck—_ I threw you into a wall of screens and I was punching you, and you couldn't even walk or fight back. I feel so bad thinking about it. Why the fuck did you even go after me? I didn't deserve that."

"You're getting this all wrong." His headache reared up, and Izaya put a hand over where it throbbed. "That wasn't your fault."

"It was. And you don't even know what happened while you were dying from that infection. I killed a man to get his collar. I threw him into a tree and broke his body, but he pissed me off so much that I...I tore his head off. He was alive. He was still alive. Don't you see?"

Izaya closed his eyes tightly. That actually explained a lot of Shizuo's behavior. Little things that Izaya had thought was just fatigue, anger and nicotine withdrawal were actually the stress from this. It made sense, and yet it changed nothing. In fact, he knew he shouldn't, but he was moved that Shizuo had cared enough. He must have been struggling with this for some time. "Did he attack you first?"

"What! Does that even matter? I tell you I ripped a man's head from his body and you ask me if he attacked me first?"

"Yes, so did he?"

"It doesn't matter if he did or not."

"I already know he attacked first. That's because you aren't a monster. Shizu-chan, I spent a long time hoping that you'd get yourself thrown in jail for murder. Even when you chased me around, I thought for sure that someone would be crushed because of your blind anger. It made me hate you all the more for hurting someone, but then there was the fact that you never did and that bothered me too. I'm sorry about all of that, even if it's late coming."

And this was late coming too, he realized.

"But anyway, you always surprise me. I wanted everyone to know how much of a monster you were. I framed you for murder, which I'm also now apologizing for," Izaya chuckled without any real mirth. "But even when I goaded you to become that terrible creature, you didn't. Because you aren't. And look how unpredictable you are, killing someone _for_ me. I know it's wrong, but I can't help but think it's bittersweet that you made that sacrifice. It's incredibly noble and the lesser man wouldn't have been able to. No one has ever given up so much for me. I don't think anyone else would."

"You're wrong. How could you even think like that? What I did wasn't noble." Shizuo cursed under his breath. "I murdered people. With these hands." Those same hands slammed down on the cave floor. The floor shook and flecks of stones rained down on them.

Izaya shifted from where he was sitting and leaned closer. "And that's okay; We're the same."

"No. You weren't there. I—" he paused on his own words before charging forward. "I can't stop myself. I ripped his head off because I was angry. I could kill you, now. I could rip off your limbs. That's not—that's not..."

"Shizuo, you wouldn't hurt me."

"Of course I would! I have! What the hell are you saying? Look at your wrist! I did that!"

"I goaded you. I wanted you to hurt me. I could hardly blame you for something I was asking for, now can I?"

"That doesn't change the fact that I did and that I can."

"And I know what you did and that you can, and _that_ doesn't change the fact that it doesn't matter to me. You don't scare me."

"Izaya," Shizuo paused and the crinkling continued. "You saw what I did. To all of those people. I killed some of them! What do you mean you aren't scared, hah? I'm fucking terrified! I hate it! I _hate_ it! I can't stop myself! I hate that I can't get a fucking grip! I'm terrified that I'll hurt you! I thought I killed you!"

"Now we're going in circles. Listen to me. I'm not scared because that's furthest from what I feel."

"No. No, you don't get it!"

Izaya waited for Shizuo to calm after his outburst, listening to his shallow breaths. "Don't tell me what I don't get, okay. Just listen, because I'm only going to say this once. Will you hear me out, please?"

"What's the point?" Shizuo groaned. "There's nothing for me to do. How can I even go home? What if someone pisses me off, because you know they will, they always do, and then I lose control? And then I can't stop myself. I'll hurt them. That's all I'm capable of!"

"I thought that way about you too, and I hated you for that. But I was wrong. I was wrong, okay."

Shizuo's ragged breaths continued and Izaya thought that maybe Shizuo wasn't going to hear him. And even if it was that worst thing he could do, he could convince himself that this was for the best. He could be safe in knowing that he tried, but even so, his chest constricted.

Izaya knew that he had to try for Shizuo. Not for himself, because saying more would be revealing too much that he didn't want in the open, but because Shizuo needed to hear it even if he didn't want to, because whether Shizuo realized it or not, he wanted to be called a monster and Izaya wasn't going to let that happen.

As the words he so very needed to say were forming on his lips, terror seized his voice. Swallowing it down only made it feel like he was choking, suffocating on those words. How could he say anything when he couldn't admit it to himself or hadn't been able to acknowledge it for what it was.

He had to do this, but actually saying this aloud? He couldn’t. It was impossible. If Shizuo knew, if this was out in the open—

As if ice had bled into his veins, Izaya was immobilized. He couldn't so much as put a hand over his chest to suppress the nauseating dread away and force the words out. He had to say it, if he didn't then he might lose Shizuo for good this time, and that was incomparably worse than what he was feeling now.

Izaya took comfort in the dark. "You know...I throw the word 'love' around very easily." Izaya started slowly, but as the words trailed off like they would get nowhere further, he had to go faster or else lose his nerve. "The word can fill my lungs and I can tell it to everyone that I love humans. And it's true, that I do. I love them because they fascinate me. I love them, and I love them, and I love them so much that sometimes I'm so completely sick of the feeling, but I still can't stop. It's impossible to and I love it all the more."

The dizziness came back, but he had to finish this.

"And it's strange because I came to realize that you are every bit human too. You're painfully human. Even with how illogical you are. Ah, but try as I might, I can't include you with the love I have with humans. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't feel the same. I can't  fool myself into thinking that it doesn't mean anything because then it's painful." That same hurt, an unease that he couldn't fool himself to rationalize away, squeezed at his chest. He had to keep going. "I can never love any one human personally...it goes against everything about who I am. Then how does this explain how I feel? Ah! I can't say it properly when it's so easy for me to say to everyone, but this time I can't and that's because this isn't the same love."

He was so glad that the darkness around them could swallow up how absolutely terrified he was.

In those unbearable few seconds that Shizuo didn't say anything, the silence grew and the anxiety inside of him did as well. His heart that had been beating too loud, too quick, felt like it was sinking in quicksand. He had to say everything before he just let his nerve slip away.

These last few days had been hell because what he felt had been constantly at the edge of his awareness, at the corner of his eyes, waiting to be greeted. It was there in the dark. It had followed him through everything and had only gotten stronger. Izaya felt it now and it scared him for what it could do to him. This had been the monster he had no control over and couldn't run from.

"It goes deeper." Izaya forced the words out. "It takes up everything in me. It consumes even all the love I have for humanity and it's here! It's too much and it's painful, so painful, and I hate it because sometimes it feels like I could choke from it! And believe me, if I'm not careful this thing inside of me could destroy me. It..." He swallowed hard, "paralyzes me. But...you don't. You never have. And I'm not lying if that's what you're thinking. I wouldn't lie about this."

"...I don't understand. I did terrible things to you."

"Just as I did as terrible things to you. And besides, I can accept it all. Everything that you hate about yourself, even when you are at your most hideous, I can take it."

"No." His voice was flat. "You can't."

"I can, everything and anything."

"Don't talk shit with me. You'll regret it the moment I tear you apart."

"But you won't because you couldn't possibly hurt me unless I allowed you to. What you did back there was to save us. It wasn't your fault because I put us in that situation. You can stop blaming yourself and I won't blame you if you wanted to hate me for what happened. Because I made all this, everything, more difficult than it needed to be for you."

Shizuo wouldn't listen because he couldn't believe these words. They had always communicated far better through their actions. Through knives and road signs, cuts and bruises and broken bones. It spoke through the destruction and ruined city surrounding them. Their words had never been enough to contain how much they hated each other. Of course, Shizuo wouldn't believe him now.

With a confidence that could be blown back at any second, Izaya risked hurting them both even more. He moved his arms slow and the first touch of contact was met with tense muscles as solid as the rock surrounding them. Any wrong move and this could be his grave.

He leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around Shizuo and he didn't stop until he felt Shizuo's chest against his own. On the outsides of his legs, where their legs touched, it was damp with drying fabric. The faint smell of blood, cloying in a way that should have turned his nose, did not bother him.

"Or if you wanted to hurt me, do it now. Come on, you keep saying you're a monster, then prove it." Resting with his head bowed against his shoulder, Izaya told himself he could endure whatever fate Shizuo was willing to accept.

Because Shizuo wouldn't hurt him and that was the point. He would have to realize this.

"Always trying to push me to my limits, huh. But how could you even feel like-" his words cut off before coming out harsh. " _this_ , for me?"

"Because I do. I know it doesn't make much sense to me so how could it make any sense to you, you idiot?"

The stiff, rigid muscles loosened just a bit. Tentative hands grazed his back, but in the hesitance there, Izaya felt the full weight of the meaning.

"If I'm always pushing you to your limits, then it's only fair that you can push mine too."

"Izaya," he said in warning, but Izaya was never one to listen to warnings. The rest of the words were lost in both of their mouths. This would be the fastest way for Shizuo to understand. It didn't go further than the softness of lips and Izaya pulled back before he was tempted to go further. But there was a difference of how those hands were resting against his back and Shizuo had yet to push him away. "You idiot. I could accidently..."

"Shizu-chan, you used to try to kill me before. You must think pretty highly of yourself if you think you could do it now when you don't even want to."

"Hmm." As his chest was still so close, Izaya felt the soft vibration pass over to him. "I didn't hurt you, huh."

Izaya didn't expect those hands idle against his lower back to pull him any closer or for Shizuo to nudge his head against his.

"Good," Shizuo said.

The warmth at his chest expanded, and Shizuo didn't let go for some time.


	42. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're not wearing any pants." 
> 
> It wasn't a question.

His hands stung with the terrible things they had done; things no human should even be capable of. They itched as if the half-dried blood was still sticking to him. He had no right to feel comfort from Izaya. Yet, he took it. He clung to that breakable body. Maybe it was wrong to harbor this feeling. He knew he should let go, but he didn't want to. Not when he could feel and know Izaya was there.

Relief hushed that drowning sick feeling and abated his guilt, it was knowing that in his worst moment of blind rage, he hadn't made that mistake again. He hadn't hurt the one he had been trying to protect, and that let him breathe easier. Still deeper than the relief was gratitude.

Izaya didn't run away. Not even at his worst. Everything he had left was because of Izaya: the good and the bad—Izaya was willing to take that all. No one else would be crazy enough to, or go that far for him after he nearly killed them, or call him human, after all of this. But Izaya did, and none of it made sense. And as if this entire island wasn't confusing enough, Izaya said he loved him. He did, didn't he? That was what he was saying, right? It wasn't completely clear, but Shizuo knew what he was saying had been honest. Izaya had no reason to do what he did unless it was the truth. There was no ulterior motive or trap. He actually meant it. When he should have been terrified of him, he was willing to go so far as touch.

At any moment he could make the wrong movement and accidentally hurt him. Izaya had said he couldn't hurt him, but Shizuo couldn't trust himself not to.

Izaya shifted, adding a little more weight to the hug, and Shizuo realized that it must have been an uncomfortable position. He didn't even know how long it had been because he'd gotten caught up in how relieved and good it felt.

"Thanks," Shizuo said and didn't know what to do so he let his hands drop back to his sides.

Izaya sighed lightly and withdrew completely. Instead of sitting across from him, he sat next to him.

It was impossible to see, so he had no idea if Izaya wanted something from him, like an answer to his confession. He had absolutely zero experience with this kind of thing, but he imagined that he'd have to give it serious thought. Just as he was about to mention it, Izaya spoke.

"I'm guessing that you didn't sleep at all?"

"Huh? No, I didn't. About what you said earlier..."

"You should sleep. We're gonna have to move again before the sun comes up."

"Why? What are you planning?"

"It's time that we really stirred up this island, right? For what they are doing to us. But this time no one else will get involved."

At the mention that no one else would be involved, the sudden tension left him. "Yeah, okay. Could you maybe tell me exactly what you're planning?"

"It's better if I don't, just in case there are sound recorders."

"Oh." That made sense. "But about what you said before–"

"You don't have to do anything about it. I didn't say all of that because I was actually expecting something from you. Really, you don't need to mention it again, I didn't even want you to know in the first place, so think of it as something that you don't have to think too hard about. That should make things easier for you, right?"

"What are you talking about? I'll give you a serious answer, just not right now."

"You don't have to."

"I will."

Was it because Izaya thought he'd only be rejected that he didn't want an answer or was it that he didn't want anything further at all? Well, of course, Izaya would be confusing as hell.

"Don't stay up all night thinking." The leaves crinkled as Izaya moved to lie down. Shizuo carefully felt around until he found a big enough space for himself. So maybe Izaya was on his side and facing away, but Shizuo figured that he just didn't want to talk more.

"Good night," Shizuo said to Izaya's back.

"Good night." He returned, exhausted.

As the silence stretched, Shizuo didn't think he could sleep at all after what happened. His damp pants were uncomfortable and chilled him. Under his legs, the dead leaves absorbed the droplets of water. It was too distracting and he quietly took them off.

He put an arm over his head. As if his mind was set out to torture him, the darkness hid spare body parts: the limbs he had torn off. He flipped over onto his stomach and buried his head into his arms. He missed his apartment with the futon next to the sliding windows, and through the thin curtains, he saw the ever-present cast of streetlights and the shifting lights as cars passed. He missed that simple life.

But that life no longer existed. He hadn't been able to control himself. He was responsible for his own body and his own actions. He went too far this time. The thing he could remember best as he let loose was that malicious anger fueling him. For all those times he thought he had been prepared to take a life, none of it prepared him for how he could live with himself after it.

He clenched his eyes closed and gritted his teeth. A murderer had no right to a peaceful life. Then he remembered something important. He recalled Izaya waiting to be killed by his hands after he had killed that man. Then Shizuo hadn't believed that Izaya deserved any sort of peace for what he'd done, but now he did. Izaya had been suffering that entire time, and Shizuo then hadn't given it a second thought or offered him any kind of sympathy. He felt bad for how much of an ass he had been. He hadn't treated Izaya right for most of the time they had been on the island, and yet Izaya liked him? Loved him even? Fuck, how was anyone supposed to take that?

Shizuo wasn't deserving of love. Didn't Izaya know that there wasn't anything worthy in him for that? That there was nothing good in him to give back? He couldn't imagine anyone actually being happy with him, especially if they knew what he'd done. Then what did Izaya want? Was he not expecting anything because he thought they couldn't get off the island? What if Izaya pissed these people off even more, and they decided to do something worse to them? Shit! When the medicine ran out, and he got sick again, what the fuck would they do?

His chest constricted painfully. If Izaya got sick again...there would be no second miracle. Even if they gathered nine more collars, those bastards wouldn't lift a finger to help them. Shizuo would inevitably watch him die.

The dread grew. It made his lungs feel wrong and short of breath. He couldn't do that again. If Izaya died, there wouldn't be anything left of this island. He'd bring down each of those helicopters even if he didn't stand a chance. His anger was twisting inside of him, threatening to burst, as he imagined the crunch and burn of metal. He stopped short, the fear chilling his veins if he let his uncontrollable rage go unchecked.

He had no right to take any more from Izaya, but he did as he shifted closer and reached over, needing to know that Izaya was still there. He was supposed to stop before Izaya's coat, but he misjudged the space between them. Immediately he pulled back and hoped that Izaya was already asleep to bother with that.

Shizuo cringed as the leaves crinkled.

"You can't sleep?" Izaya asked.

He didn't respond, not when his jaw felt like it was wired shut.

There was a soft sound. The floor of leaves shifted, and Shizuo closed his eyes tightly. By his arm came a tentative touch that trailed along his shoulder blade and didn't stop till he felt a light touch on his head. Izaya patted his head twice before scooching closer.

"We'll leave here tomorrow, so relax." He sounded so confident and sure and Shizuo wanted to believe him. "Just a little more."

He began to relax. There was still space between them, and Shizuo closed the distance without thinking too much of it. He was careful not to squeeze too hard, in case Izaya's hand was in the way, but he did put his arm over and around him so that he could feel his back.

"You're not wearing any pants." It wasn't a question.

"Sorry." He managed to say.

"That's quite all right. But you are wearing boxers." There was that quick, slithery hand that moved to his hip. "Yup, you are. Now that won't do."

Without being able to help himself, Shizuo snorted.

"Haha, just kidding," Izaya said breezily, and the ends of his hair tickled at his neck.

"Is this okay? For your hand?"

"It's fine. Lend me your arm, though." It was more like Izaya took his arm from between them and laid it out so that he could rest his head against, like a pillow. "Hmm. Your arm is a little hard. Not at all comfortable. You should think about lifting less."

"As if I lift on purpose." Feeling the slight strain at his own neck, he changed from his side to his back.

"True. I guess it would look funny if you had flabby arms. Can you imagine?" Izaya snickered.

"Why would I want to?"

"Because it's funny." Izaya turned his head. "Think you can go to sleep now?"

"Maybe. If you stop talking about my arm, that is."

"Okay, deal." Izaya shifted so that he too was more comfortable. "This time you better get some rest."

"Yeah, all right. Good night."

It was easier to relax and now the darkness around them was normal without any tricks. He let the body heat between them calm him down further. As the minutes passed peacefully and he began to feel the fatigue, it occurred to him that he might accidentally kick, roll, or so much as move and it'd wake Izaya up, but it didn't seem like he had to worry about it much since once Izaya drifted off, he moved as he pleased. Which was why he found one leg over his own.

He didn't expect to actually sleep, but he realized he had when he awoke startled to the sound of beeping. Izaya groaned next to him and reached for the phone. A hazy light appeared when he flipped it open. After a few tries, he pressed the right button to shut it off.

It must have been still dark out because there was no light streaming through the cracks.

He stayed down for a few more moments, just blinking around and not yet awake enough to decide to get up. Then he remembered what had happened the previous day and all he wanted to do was turn back in and sleep. He didn't feel at all rested. Izaya though had other ideas, and Shizuo found a hand at his shoulder, lightly nudging him.

"All right, rise and shine."

Shizuo wanted to say that it wasn't 'rise and shine' since it was still night, but that required actual talking. But he did sit up and dragged a hand over his face.

The light of the phone illuminated the cave and Shizuo lazily watched as Izaya went through their things, moving and putting them in his coat. "We're going to have to travel light," he explained. Izaya drank from the plastic bottle of water before passing it over.

The water going down his throat helped wake him up. Using mouthwash did the rest.

Izaya checked his wounded hand, carefully unraveling the bandage and wiping away any pus. He winced as he went over the stitches, and Shizuo couldn't tell in the dark if it looked any better. While Izaya was applying ointment, Shizuo cleaned his hands with hand sanitizer.

Once Izaya was done with both sides of his palm, Shizuo got the last white dressing out and starting at his bruised and swollen wrist, he rebandaged it. All that was left of the medical supplies were the glass vials.

Izaya slid his coat zipper halfway down before letting the sleeve pool at his elbow and freeing his shoulder. Shizuo gave his shoulder the same gentle handling while he administered the shots. Izaya thanked him.

They were almost ready to leave. Pushed to the side of the cave were all the things they were leaving. Izaya was doing something with the firewood and then turned towards him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Izaya asked, and Shizuo noticed what was wrong only after Izaya pointed. "Not that I mind, really."

"Oh," Shizuo said, now aware of how little he was wearing.

"Do you ever leave your home forgetting to put on pants?"

"No, of course not." He grumbled. His face turned warm as he looked for them. "I would have noticed."

They were tossed in a corner and disgusting to touch– damp and hard, nothing like what they had once been. The blood hadn't completely washed off, and Shizuo endured the disgust as he pulled his pants back on and fastened his belt. After sitting in them, he thought about going without them entirely, but it was one of the remaining few things he had that was still his even if it was ruined.

"Move the rock out of the way," Izaya said. "We're leaving."

Shizuo placed both of his hands against the boulder and pushed. It rolled a few meters.  Shizuo listened to the sounds of the night as it was too dark to see. If anyone was out there, they were equally as still as the trees. His stomach embarrassed him, growling in hunger, demanding attention.

Izaya came next to him with the illuminated phone screen. The hazy light was just enough to see his features. "Give me that," Shizuo whispered. "Don't need you broadcasting yourself for the entire island."

"You mean if they see my face? They know who you are too." Shizuo took the phone anyway. Maybe they would have to wear masks, or mud, or something. Shizuo didn't like the idea. Once they both stepped out, Shizuo blocked the entrance of the cave. "Besides," Izaya continued. "That won't matter. There will be light soon and they'd have to be crazy to follow us."

Except there were people crazy enough to follow them– do more than just follow.

"I was hoping that we would have help with this, but that's no longer possible." In his hand was a stick about an arm's length. The other end was wrapped in something white. "Here hold this." Izaya passed over the stick. The contents of the camera bag were stuffed tight, but Izaya managed to fish out the lighter.

The flame caught the dirty bandages right before the fire spread. Izaya watched the stick alight and then set fire to his own torch with a keen grin.

 


	43. red set in black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As fast as Izaya was, sometimes he wasn't fast enough.

A sea of smoke blended with the starry sky, coiling in agitated waves. The waxy leaves burned and ignited in slow bursts, more smoke than fire as it spread. Flaking bark caught like paper, puffed up as if with breath, and crumpled to ashes. Though the wood did not so easily catch, it was only because of the sheer amount of flames that the fire took hold of the trees. But still, it was too slow. There was no soft breeze to pass the embers; only their torches licked the ends of leaves and urged the creeping fire.

The helicopters had yet to come and Izaya listened intently for the rotor blades. They moved heading out towards the shore, crisscrossing their path in random directions as to not lead anyone their way. Though the smoke was large, the fire was not, and Izaya worried that the fire would die out before it could properly spread the distance. More people would have solved that, and with only two people, they could only move faster to make up for the loss of manpower. It was impossible to gauge just how much smoke and progress they were actually making.

Heat billowed with the smoke making his clothes hot and crusted with drying sweat. A short few meters ahead of him, stark against the surrounding black, Shizuo looked no better. Each time Shizuo turned back, his expression was made wild with the flickering flames and smoke, eyes strained without the heat of anger, and hair disheveled from sweat drying before it could roll past his neck. It was then they would communicate without the necessity of words, Izaya either conveying that he was fine or that they needed to change directions.

They veered off to the side where they had to cross a clearing to reach more trees. The tall grass and ferns swept their feet and hid the edges of boulders. What little light they held and what came from above, allowed just enough to make out the shapes around them. Shizuo had already crossed to the other side, and Izaya was just about to when he heard a soft whistle of air. It was only because of years dodging projectiles that he was able to move so quickly. The air swished by and something dark shot right by his shoulder. It would have struck his back if he hadn't moved and it thwacked against a tree.

"Watch out," Izaya warned as he ducked low and went for the cover of a tree, the bark dug into his back as he leaned against it. Shizuo's profile was twisted in anger as he tore the arrow and cracked in half. It was obvious what he meant to do.

"Don't go out there!" But it was too late. Shizuo had already stepped out into the clearing and became a clear standing target. The idiot! Izaya had to drop his torch against a tree so that he could pull out a knife. By the time he heard the second arrow, he was so focused on Shizuo moving that Izaya only jerked away at the last second. Searing pain flared up his arm. His knife clattered to the ground. It had been stupid to not think that he wouldn't be a target for a second time. The arrow had grazed his left bicep a few centimeters in, just missing the bone. He had no time to staunch the bleeding as he dropped close to the ground and picked up his fallen knife. With a quick jump, he found a bigger tree to hide behind.

"Izaya!?" Shizuo yelled.

"I'm okay, but don't you dare go charging out there." But of course, Shizuo was unable to listen. A tree splintered in half and Shizuo hefted it over his shoulders before throwing it across the clearing where it toppled through a line of trees. Like an animal scattering through the bushes, their attacker changed positions and hid. "Shizuo, you're going to be shot at!"

So as not to be shot at again, Izaya too moved and found a niche along a protruding boulder. A rustling came from ahead of him, swift as weeds blowing from the wind came a figure leaping through the air, crossbow poised and arrow released. It hit granite as Izaya leaped over the rock and jumped back. The dark figure followed, and their knives struck as Izaya was pushed back. It became apparent who was their intended target.

The ground was uneven with rocks jutting out and tall grass up to his knees. This guy was fast, probably as fast as he was. In each hand, he wielded a long curved knife. The crossbow was slung over his shoulder. He crouched low on a rock before springing forward. His path was met with a flung tree that he dodged with ease, it didn't slow him down as he came striking like a two-headed snake.

Izaya stumbled as he misjudged his footing from a loose rock. He was able to twist his body away from a swift knife point and deflect the second knife with his own. His shoulder took the impact of the ground and for a moment as he forced eyes open, Izaya saw the stars blinking through tendrils of smoke.

He rolled to the side and sprang up, steeling himself for the ache in his hand as he parried two quick blows. Izaya couldn't turn and flee or else risk the possibility of a knife thrown into his back, but as he continued being forcibly pushed back, he'd be heading into the burning trees behind him.

A new shape in the darkness came forward. Shizuo with all the power of a freight train wielded a boulder like it was made out of paper mache and plowed forward with it. The man jumped away and Shizuo threw it where he would land, just managing to knock him back before he flipped to his feet.

"Fuck, this crazy, fast bastard," Shizuo grumbled. But as if having realized that Izaya was the one targeted, Shizuo stood in front of him. "Hey, you!" Shizuo shouted. "Get lost or your insides will be scattered all over the island!"

There was no verbal response or acknowledgment that he even understood. The way the figure stood was hunched, like a crooked scarecrow. One shoulder was raised and something perched on it peered at them, like cat's eyes reflecting in the dark. He was clad in all dark and his face was obscured and covered with something dark. The crossbow was pointed at them in a quick motion, an arrow already set to let loose.

Maybe if Izaya wasn't behind him then Shizuo would easily dodge it, maybe he would try to catch it like an idiot and end up with an arrow in his hand, or maybe Shizuo would stand there and take it, but either way, Izaya wasn't going to let that happen. He knew this before the arrow was even shot and he only had a moment to step around Shizuo and slash the flying arrow before it could hit his chest. Wooden shards bounced against his shoulder and something sharp pierced through his coat and grazed his skin.

"Don't just stand there, idiot!" Izaya yelled just as Shizuo shouted.

"Hey, you could have been hurt!"

They glared at one another with matching expressions of annoyance, but of course, their assailant chose this moment to hurtle for them. Izaya got into position, knife ready when his vision spun as something –Shizuo's hand– grabbed the hood of his jacket and yanked him back.

"Let me handle this," Shizuo said gruffly, his fists meeting air all the while long thin lines began to appear where he was getting cut. Izaya knew that Shizuo wouldn't be fast enough to land a punch; He could dodge the worst of the attacks, but each wide swing left him open for a new slash.

Fire spread from both ends of the clearing, illuminating the area. The man's blades reflected light and blood. There was no metal collar around his neck and his facial features were impossible to read as they were covered with a mask that concealed his entire head. He didn't resemble a human.

They needed to end this quick. Before the sun rose. Izaya moved to get closer, to distract the man so that Shizuo could land a punch. His wrist ached as his blade clashed, he was at a clear disadvantage down one arm and already feeling his body tire out. The adrenaline could only help him so far. A jab cut through his coat and dragged against the delicate layer of skin over his collarbone.

"I said that I–" Shizuo's words cut off as a knifepoint barely missed his ear. "–got this!"

"It's two against one."

Shizuo would have to accept that logic. He tsked as once again his kick didn't connect.

The weariness was draining Izaya fast. He had only been blocking so far, and as much as he used his knives in a fight, drawing blood had never been a simple matter. But when he saw a chance, when the man had attacked Shizuo and left his body angled away from Izaya, as if dismissing him as a treat, Izaya struck hard, aiming at the outside of the man's arm above his elbow. Except he struck a layer of metal that was probably covering every inch of him. The metal body suit gave him a jarring impression that he wasn't completely human.

That arm lined with metal lashed outward, backhanded with the handle of the knife across Izaya's chest. Staggering and gasping for a full breath, Izaya fell backward and nearly missed the second uppercut swiped for his neck and chin. A second later he realized why. Shizuo had caught the man's other hand and twisted it back. It took a few drawn out seconds as Shizuo struggled with the metal, but then came the crushing force and the arm might as well have been a toy as it crunched.

There was no scream, not even an audible inhale. At this distance his eyes were indeed human, glossy and black, the fire in them reflected cruelly. The thing on his shoulder jumped. It opened up like it had wings, though, by the shape, it wasn't either bird or bat. Shizuo grabbed it from his face and there was no way he could see what would happen.

The man flipped his knife between deft fingers and he was going to ram it in Shizuo's throat.

As fast as Izaya was, sometimes he wasn't fast enough. He tried anyway and cried out, "Shizuo!" While still on the ground, he kicked to trip the man. His shin hit a plate of metal and pain wracked through his leg.

The man didn't so much as budge and already he had swung.

Terror seized his windpipe. Shizuo's bones and muscles may be strong as steel, but that didn't mean the same for the cartilage or the thin layer of muscle of his neck.

Something snapped. He forced himself to look and while expecting the worst –a waterfall of blood– and while there was blood dripping from his mouth, Izaya hadn't at all factored in Shizuo's complete unpredictability.

The knife was there but in-between Shizuo's teeth where he had caught it. Not only that, but it had broken in half. He spat out the pieces, lifted the man higher in the air, and punched him straight in the face, breaking the metal mask he wore and sending him flying. He spat the blood from his mouth once more and wiped the back of his hand against his bloodied lips. "You okay?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya hadn't moved from where he was on his back. It was doubtful that the man would still be capable of standing and fighting, and Izaya was too overwhelmed to do more than just listen to his own ragged breaths and hear the crackle of fire. The ferns around them had bent back and fire was creeping closer to them, catching all around. He had no wish to get up, his breathing wasn't right at all. Something was wrong with his eyes too, and he threw an arm over his face. He would have laughed if that were even possible, if that wouldn't choke him. It was the smoke, Izaya told himself, making him this way. Even so, he knew the reason and knew the relief pulling on him.

Shizuo crouched next to him. "We better get out of here."

After struggling to swallow, he could only manage a strangled, "yeah." He wiped the stinging from his eyes and was glad it was too dark to see if they were bloodshot or not.

"You sure you're okay?" Shizuo asked again. "Your arm?"

This time Izaya nodded and took the hand Shizuo was offering him. "It's fine." He put a hand over his bleeding arm, but there wasn't anything they could do for it but press against it with his sleeve. His left shin stung with the onset of a wicked contusion but it wasn't so bad as to hinder his movements. Smoke was beginning to reach them and though their time was limited, he still had to know for sure if the guy was staying down.

The crumpled figure hadn't gotten up from where he was against a boulder. Smoke was swirling around his form and blanketing him. The mask had fallen and pieces were stuck to a bloodied face. His nose was broken and his eyes were made indistinguishable by swollen skin. There was no way to tell what he looked like before. His chest moved in shallow breaths and the creature had returned to his shoulder. It was a tiny thing, the flying squirrel.

Shizuo walked over and stopped next to the crumpled man. The arm he had crushed was a mangled mess. By the tattered black shirt, Shizuo lifted, spun, and threw him further off.

"Being burned alive is a shitty way to go. Even if he deserved it," was what he said in explanation. It stirred unpleasant memories, but he understood what Shizuo was getting at. "Let's go."

They both turned and ran. That last fight had taken more out of him than what he had left. Now that the adrenaline was gone, there was an uncomfortable weakness in his limbs as he forced himself further.

New sticks alight with fire replaced the other torches and they resumed setting the trees in their path on fire. They were closer to the shore, not much further.

That small stretch seemed the size of the entire island.

His insides churned, but there wasn't anything in his stomach to puke. Air filled him, but none of it seemed to go in the right places. He could go further. He knew he could. Black spots impeded his sight. He was beyond exhausted.

The shore wasn't in sight, but he could have sworn that they were close. His limbs burned and keeping up was more than his body could stand. A rush, like waves crashing, flooded his ears and swept him from his feet. The torch in his hand came unbearably close to his ear.

Another rush hit him, this time calmer as he was flipped to his side. He closed his eyes from the vertigo and his bangs were pushed back. The intense heat dissipated and cool, still air filled his lungs.

_"Shit–"_

They were in the water, right? They were at the shore? That's where they were heading...

_"Izaya, hey, stop that."_

What? Stop what?

_"Don't just lie there–"_

But that wasn't sand against his arm, and his hand clenched around dirt and leaves. They weren't... No, this wasn't it.

Izaya forced his eyes open and he couldn't see anything. It took a few panicked seconds before Shizuo's face came into focus, his expression too blurry and dark to read. The flickering light only made him appear worried.

That's not Shizuo's usual expression. Izaya grinned, finding it funny.

"Izaya, ah, shit, shit, you there? C'mon. Say something!"

The night sky was beginning to take on a lighter hue, a pretty indigo. The smoke was black as it moved. He pointed up and Shizuo looked too, confused. There was a lot of smoke that couldn't be ignored. But they needed to be on the shore. Izaya heard it now, the powerful churning of the helicopters far away.

Izaya's eyes focused. Shit! They needed to reach the shore! "Shizu-chan." he grabbed Shizuo's arm. "We have to go now!" His muscles shook, ill and uncooperative.

"The hell you even thinking, hah? Running like that till you almost passed out? Next time just tell me instead of dropping to the ground!"

"Yeah, next time," Izaya said, tone flippant and more like himself as he grabbed onto Shizuo's shoulder and heaved himself onto unsteady legs. "Let's go."

"No you don't," Shizuo snapped, pissed.

A step later his feet don't touch the ground and Izaya thought he was falling except he was being lifted and hefted over Shizuo's shoulder. He expected pain, but Shizuo maneuvered him without putting any pressure on his arm. It was similar to a fireman's lift, but as Shizuo began to run, one torch still in his hand to light their way and passing by trees, Izaya considered appropriately changing the name to the caveman's lift.

"Shizu-chan!?" He squirmed with heavy limbs.

"As if you can complain for fainting!"

"I didn't faint!"

But Izaya grudgingly knew this way went faster so he held on through the jarring steps. The dark shapes of the trees blurred with amber tips. Across Shizuo's chest, Izaya's arm rested over quick, powerful heartbeats. He wouldn't complain this time. He held on tighter, closing his eyes to abate the dizziness of their surroundings and pressed his forehead down.

The pounding footsteps softened as dirt gave way to sand. Black waves lapped against the shore. But they shouldn't go all the way or else risk the helicopters prematurely spotting them. "Stop, stop, stop!" He yelled.

The sand scattered as he halted. Izaya was let down against a tree. Immediately, he searched the sky. A helicopter was approaching their way from the right. He didn't have to tell Shizuo to get back.

"So what do you want to do?" Shizuo had to raise his voice as the noise became louder. "Knock it out of the sky?"

Izaya had thought of that, but if Shizuo missed it would create more of a problem if they decided to go after them instead of the fire. From the bag going over his chest, Izaya pulled out the sleek camera. There was a bigger crack in the lens, but as he looked through it, the zoom still worked. He gauged the direction that the helicopter had come from then searched the sea for any shape.

It was too dark in the sea of black, he looked for any kind of reflection.

"I think I see something over there," Shizuo said.

Izaya looked to where he was pointing and tried to find what Shizuo had spotted. It was subtle, but there was a slight elongated gleam that had nothing to do with the scintillating waves. He checked it in the zoom and there on the water was a boat he was looking for. It was almost completely black against the already black ocean.

Izaya showed it to him. The distance was far, but it wasn't as far as he feared. It must have crept closer throughout the night as if anticipating what would happen.

The helicopter neared. They pressed against the swaying trees, but it passed without hovering over them. It was quite possible that they didn't know where they were, but Izaya was glad that no one was shooting at them. It went further inland and then a dark cloud dispersed from underneath the helicopter.

"What is that?" Shizuo yelled.

It was impossible to see what it was in the dark, but Izaya had an idea. "It's a fire retardant. It's used to put out fires." Hopefully, Jakow and the others had already started making fires of their own, well, if they weren't after their lives now because of the posters.

"You saw where that boat was, right?"

Shizuo nodded. The helicopter was moving away and now Izaya didn't have to shout so much. "Well, we're going to pay it a visit."

"What!?"

"We'll swim out there."

Shizuo was giving him a look like he couldn't believe what he just heard. "What are you talking about? There's no way you can swim that far!"

"Yeah, but you can."

Shizuo's eyes were dark and bore into his own with complete attention and disbelief like he couldn't wrap his head around what was just said. The corner of his mouth had welled with blood and Izaya had the crazy impulse to lick it away. There was half a chance that he could get away with it too, not to mention the face Shizuo would make. "That's your plan?"

"Yes. Unless you have a better idea."

Shizuo looked back out into the ocean then at the helicopters moving further out.

"But we have to do this now before it gets any brighter."

Making up his mind, Shizuo took off his shoes. "Seriously, tell me right away if something is wrong."

"Yeah, I will." Izaya agreed, but as he followed Shizuo to the black, imperceivable water, the uncertainty and lurking dangers were there. Izaya had already factored in all the ways this could backfire completely, and yet it remained the only real feasible way to leave here. Cold water surged up to his ankles and continued to rise till he was standing waist deep. "I don't plan on drowning."

Shizuo looked pained, which was weird because he rarely ever did. As if he were struggling to say something. He tsked and settled with that familiar annoyed expression. "'Course not! Fleas can't drown, anyway. They float or some shit."

A wave soaked his chest, stinging the wounds in his arms and chilling him. He was putting more than his trust in Shizuo and that no longer was a frightening thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, moving stresses me out so I couldn't focus on this story! But now I can :3 
> 
> And who are we kidding? We all knew Shizuo was the Swiss Army Man (thank goodness he's not really a gaseous, bloated corpse and thank you to whoever suggested the movie to me months and months ago)
> 
> But for real, I can't believe how close this is getting to the end. It's really all thanks to you all (especially for all of your encouragement. Thank you so much!)


	44. Going Under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They would pay. If what they thought from the video feeds of the island was bad, then they were would really enjoy what he'd do to them.

Shizuo was bit with sudden coldness. It was a shock after the burn of smoke and heat, and for a moment, he welcomed it, relished the slick relief that they were off the island. Except this was nothing like the glassy water of a pool. There was nothing he could make out below or in front of him; the night sky was only just beginning to turn with dawn, as sunlight had yet to peak over the horizon, and the water he forced his hands through was an endless black murkiness that numbed all of his senses, encasing him, and he struggled as he swam blind.

But there was an all present weight against his back, an anchor holding his resolve and keeping him steady. He couldn't afford to be flailing in the water when Izaya needed him to focus and head out in the right direction. He worked out a rhythm and swam in measured strokes, remaining level with the surface and not pushing too hard in consideration to Izaya who held on as close as he could. It was difficult, the waves making it uneven and sometimes dragging them off course, but Shizuo powered through the current and the further he went the more manageable it became.

With each breath, he had a second before his vision swam and his hands pushed forward and out. Each kick propelled him ahead and while doing the breaststroke was slow going, he was assured that Izaya was secure as long as he held on.

Shizuo chased what he thought was a black shape cut out from the ocean. It was still a long swim and the sky changed slowly, then all at once in muted colors: a faded orange that bled into a stretched deep blue.

If he concentrated he could hear the faraway noise of the helicopters. There was no way to tell how long he had been swimming and he could only hope that the helicopters would not return and find them in the water. There would be nothing to throw nor be used as a shield. At the thought of bullets raining down on them, Shizuo kicked harder.

A tap against his chest caught his attention. He took a breath and turned his head. "Sh-"

He slowed down, not quite hearing. The tap turned more persistent, and Shizuo halted. "Wha-"

"Shark!" It came from the corner of his eye, a pale streak almost as dark as the surrounding black emerged and became a gaping mouth. By then it was too close, its jaw opened wider in anticipation for the chunk it was sure to take.

His arm was already extended forward and Shizuo brought it back and felt his elbow hit something solid and sharp. The force though had him tipping to his side, breathless and completely submerged, but he twisted back to face the creature before it could fully bite him. He wrenched his arm from the Shark's mouth and punched the stunned creature, sending it back through the water where it disappeared.

Izaya had let go only a few moments before, and he broke through the water next to him. That knife was out in his hand as he treaded. Shizuo opened his mouth to make sure he was okay, but Izaya spoke first. "Don't—" he dipped below and treaded harder. Saltwater slipped through his words and glistened against his bloody lip. "—Don't look away from it!" He moved closer and it seemed like he was being weighed down by the bag still at his shoulder. "There could be others." Izaya was too pale with too dark lips. "We should be back to back."

Still, Shizuo wasn't just going to leave his back to Izaya, and he looked over his shoulder but didn't see anything in the murky water. Blood was flowing freely from his arm and numerous shark teeth were stuck in his skin, though all he felt was a slight sting. He couldn't tell if Izaya had gotten hit, and he wasn't doing such a good job swimming one handed.

"Hey, you didn't get chewed up, right?"

Izaya was facing away. "No, I'm fine. Make sure to watch below as well."

Shizuo frowned but looked down and couldn't make out anything beyond his waist. The waves had yet to reveal the creature. It could be anywhere.

Far in the distance, the island was somewhere between two to three kilometers away. Smoke continued to billow out and it seemed like the helicopters had moved further inland.

"I think it's gone," Izaya said. He turned and noticed the teeth and blood on Shizuo's arm. It looked worse than what it was, black like the ocean.

"It's fine. I'll worry about it later." It wasn't like they could do anything about it anyway. Izaya pressed against his back and drew an arm over his shoulder. Those legs were secured at his waist. "Ready?" He asked and eyed the boat that was closer than he thought.

"Yeah," he said by his ear and eased up higher.

There was a definite reluctance in his right bicep as he forced his hurt arm forward. But they had to move on, the boat was in his sight. Finally, he could make those bastards pay.

Only once more did they stop as another large shark came close, went around them, and swam off. But as he continued, he thought he felt something pass around his legs, like the pressure of water from something swimming close by. He kicked outward and got the satisfaction of hitting whatever it was.

It was only when they were nearing the boat that Shizuo realized it wasn't small like he'd first imagined it to be. Well, of course it couldn't be since it had to have room for a helicopter. It must have been smaller than the full length of his old high school's basketball court and tall like a three story building. The boat was sitting in the water, undisturbed and void of any lights. By now, the first rays of light were highlighting the contours of the sleek metal and Shizuo was looking above to see if anyone was there.

Aware of his deep breathing in the quiet, he calmed down and swam slower without disturbing the water. It came to no surprise that there was no ladder, but what he was looking for were grooves of metal and bolts that he could use to climb. Izaya was one step ahead of him and was pointing to an area on the far side of the boat. He swam nearer and in the uncomfortably quiet he got a bad feeling in his gut. It could be that they really weren't expecting anyone or that most of the men were out in the helicopter. 

They reached the side and Shizuo grabbed a bolt that only had room enough for two fingers. The weight against his back shifted and Izaya held on tighter. Right as he was lifting out of the water a blinding light surrounded them. Unable to look up and see where he could go next, he pushed off and careened backwards with Izaya under him as they hit the water. A shot rang through the air and as he was going under, a force like a punch hit his chest. All the air rushed from his lungs as something sharp split deep into his muscles and opened up.

He couldn't see well. A light as bright as the sun continued to blind him. _Fuck_. Sticking out of his torso was a black spear the size of a crowbar. He had been hit by a harpoon used for fishing.

It hadn't gone through his ribs, but as he grabbed onto it and pulled, it resisted. He had to rip the spear out. They resurfaced just for a moment, but before he could begin swimming in another direction, another shot was fired, burrowing deep into his side like the bite of an animal before something dropped on top of them. It tightened and squeezed around them before dragging them under the surface. He realized quickly that there were heavy weights attached to the net and it was enough to send them rapidly down. The net pushed against the second harpoon, forcing it to scrape against his ribs. His arms were pinned to his sides and he used his strength to move and wrench the spear out as he did before, uncaring how it did more damage coming out as it did coming in.

At first, he thrashed against the force of the net, but as they continued to descend through the depths, Shizuo worked his fingers and legs against the metal to try to break it. The further they went, the darker and more desperate he used his strength to break the metal. It was bending between his fingers but not breaking. Izaya's blunt nails were digging into his shoulder. His own lungs were suffocating for his next breath. The pressure in his ears made his head fuzzy. His body felt like it was being compressed.

Realizing that he wouldn't be fast enough to break the metal, he began to use his hands and feet to pull up on the net, lifting and lifting till he thought that maybe this net was too big, but then he grasped the end of the weight and maneuvered it over them. It dropped below, and Shizuo kicked up.

Above them dark shapes moved, agitated by the smell of blood and activity. Shizuo pushed aside any that got too curious. He headed away from the light, towards what he hoped was the other side of the boat.

Through the terrible ache in his lungs and burn of his muscles, Shizuo swam. It was strange how slow everything felt, the weight of his own body against him, and his limbs were cumbersome to move. He forced himself through the water, livid, but unable to do anything then kick and slap the water. His hands itched to seize metal. If he had breath he would have been spitting out curses but as it was, his teeth were grit together and his jaw locked. It helped him focus. They would pay. If what they thought from the video feeds of the island was bad, then they were would really enjoy what he'd do to them.

The surface was approaching with the promise of air. When it became too much, he lost what he was holding in his lungs. He registered it belatedly, with sluggish thoughts as the hold on his chest and waist tightened, scrambling with weakened limbs, and a second later it slackened and slipped through like the water passing over him. Shizuo stopped. Everything was squeezing too tight, too much it could burst. The heartbeat pounding in his ears was too loud. That surface was so fucking close.

But Shizuo turned and expected Izaya to be there, floating behind him, but he couldn't even see his own arms in front of him, let alone Izaya. Shizuo, ignoring the instincts to resurface and the agony of suffocation, groped for the space that Izaya had occupied and grasped blindly at the water between them. He lunged with his entire arm's width through black water, feeling with his legs as well at nothing. All his previous anger sunk into something sick and wrong and powerless.

Where? _Where_ the fuck was Izaya?

Shizuo didn't get it. He was right there! Not a few seconds ago he'd been right against his back. They had been so fucking close to the surface. They would have made it, so why did he let go?

No. He would drag Izaya out. Izaya, damn him to hell, for not fucking saying anything!

He ignored the exploding burn of his chest as he descended once more and chased after Izaya. He felt a slight current against his body and instead of fighting it, he followed. Fuck, if he could just see! If it wasn't so dark then he could see something. But fuck, they were probably both going to end up dead as fish food.

As if to mock him, a shark slipped by, startling his hand, and sized him up before passing. It veered to the right, it's curiosity moving and Shizuo realized in his growing dejection that here was a creature that had eyes to see in the dark. In his last moments, before he too would fill his screaming lungs with screaming thoughts, he moved in the direction that the shark had twisted towards.

His hand brushed fabric and he bunched it in his hands to draw it close. With sheer determination and desire to live and get them both to the surface, Shizuo swam with all of his failing awareness.

He broke through and took what felt like the biggest breath of his life. Izaya was out of the water too and as Shizuo righted him, secured him against his shoulder, there was not a single response. His chest did not move at all against his own panting one. His open mouth glistened with saltwater and saliva.

Not breathing. Not breathing.

"Izaya!" He said, shuddering between gasping breaths. "Hey, Izaya." He touched his face, tapping to get some kind of reaction. He shook him and gripped Izaya's shoulders tightly. He brought him close and placed him partially over his shoulder before thumping his hand on his back, against wet and unmoving fabric. "Fuck. Izaya, _Izaya,_ we're out of the water, okay? Fucking hell...I'm going to be really pissed if you don't wake up. All right? You listening to me? Hey, flea?"

He pulled him back so that he could look at him again—at a slack face that was unconscious and not fucking breathing.

"Oh, fuck. Fuck. Breathe, you ass, please just fucking breathe. Izaya!" No, no, no. _Fuck_. He was slumped on his side, his neck leaning without any support. "Don't do this. Don't. Please fucking stop it. It's not funny."

Shizuo placed two fingers at the crook of his neck, no longer able to prolong checking for a pulse. Thinking the worse, the slow but definite pulse wasn't at all what he expected. He pulled his arm back in surprise. 

He didn't even know how to perform CPR. He didn't know what to do. Didn't know where to start. He couldn't even remember the mandatory lessons they had at school for these emergency situations because he had skipped those days, in a cruel irony while chasing this flea around the building.

But he remembered in the occasional movies he'd watched and in them they usually laid the person on the ground. But this was the ocean! Shizuo improvised and went on his back instead and pulled Izaya on top of him, face up over his own body. They were barely keeping afloat, but Shizuo needed to do something to help. He moved those limp arms out of the way before putting his hands one over the other on top of his chest and pressed down, extra careful not to go too hard. he hoped to squeeze the water out of him if he could.

But it didn't seem to be working and he lifted Izaya further up so that he could tilt his head back. He'd force him to breathe. If Izaya wouldn't then Shizuo would make him.

Turning that limp head and pinching his nose, Shizuo took a deep breath and fitted his mouth over cool, wet lips. He breathed three times into Izaya's mouth. Shizuo pulled back, expecting something but still, his chest did not move on its own. He must have been doing it wrong.

The taste of salt of the ocean and bitter blood of death was on his tongue. He looked upward at the boat and swam carefully till he was closer, making sure Izaya's head was above the water. His heart was beating loudly as he grabbed onto a bolt and half expected that same bright light to flash on them.

Nothing happened. He put Izaya over his shoulders as he did not an hour before, though this time the complaints were lacking. Overhead was a long window, and Shizuo climbed with such care as to not make a sound. The quiet that had made him anxious before was not the same, and there was the low murmur of faraway voices. They probably thought they were dead. Izaya may just be.

The rage was swirling in him, comforting in a way that he knew how to act. He may lose control, but it would mask this current helplessness. No, he'd take care of them soon, after he did everything that he could for Izaya.

The windows were either tinted or the room was pitch black and Shizuo hesitated before putting a hand over the glass and trying to slide it open. It would not budge and while it would have been easier to break the glass, Shizuo thought it would be too loud. He grabbed the ledge above the window and pressed into the metal. It dented with more force, so much that his fist went through with only a dull protest. With that, he could tear off chunks of metal, pushing it inward and through plaster before making enough room for the both of them.

It opened into a bedroom, empty and dark with an unmade bed and a simple table. Shizuo set Izaya on the floor, away from the broken pieces, before making his way in the dark to lock the door. Izaya appeared just as listless and Shizuo bent close to him to check his breathing then his pulse.

"C'mon, what would Shinra do?"

Stay calm, right? Maybe crack an awful joke? Then fix the problem. Yeah, not helpful.

Shizuo tried the breaths firsts, giving two that made Izaya's chest rise deceptively. He felt for his pulse again and this time it was slower. He didn't want to do chest compressions because he feared messing up and hearing the crack of cartilage and bones crunching. His own arms and legs prickled strangely.

He tried rolling him on his side and water trickled out of his mouth. If his heart was beating, that meant he didn't need to do compressions right? Then why wasn't he breathing? Did he pass out or something?

"Izaya!" He spoke directly into his ear. "I-za-ya." He stressed each syllable. He turned him on his back, still unsure, but determined. By tilting his head, closing his nose, and angling his mouth, Shizuo exhaled as deeply as he could. He watched from the corner of his eye the way that Izaya's chest moved, and as Shizuo shifted to feel the breath against his cheek, the exhale changed and turned to sharp coughs. Shizuo leaned back to give him room, his own heart rate doubled and warmth flooded the anxiety in his tense and numb limbs.

Groaning, Izaya went to his side and covered his mouth before shuddering as he violently coughed. Water came up between his fingers and it looked like he simultaneously wanted to throw up and cough and was struggling to do both at the same time. He lifted up on his knees but kept his head down and continued that shuddering breathing on his own.

Shizuo hesitated before standing up and grabbing the silky comforter and draping it over Izaya's sopping wet body.

It took some time to recover enough to wipe his face, leave his hand against his head in apparent pain, and fall to his side, but even then he looked slippery wet. His eyes were watery and glassy, going around the dark room before finally settling on Shizuo.

Shizuo was too relieved and exhausted to say anything, but he got down, feeling the cool wet material of Izaya's pants against his knees. The smell of the ocean mixed with a hint of stomach acids didn't bother him in the slightest. Those eyes were assessing him, collected in a way that only Izaya could be after nearly drowning and maybe a bit wider than normal, but normal. _Normal_. And Shizuo, still struggling with not losing it when that was as easy to lose as the water slipping down his body, could barely hope to accept and believe when thinking otherwise was as suffocating as drowning.

"You're bleeding." Izaya sounded raw and hardly audible. "A lot."

He hadn't noticed it, but now that he did it was disgustingly obvious. There was the shark bite he had sustained earlier, then a few centimeters from his collarbone was a deep gash that was trickling blood, and lastly, a similar wound was on the side of him, muscle deep but raw looking.

"You almost drowned," Shizuo grumbled though he was too emotionally wrung tight to put any real annoyance in his tone. "I'm really pissed."

Izaya coughed softly and cleared his throat, his breathing was no longer so wet sounding. "You don't look too angry."

"I'm incredibly angry."

Izaya chuckled and wiped his mouth with a wet sleeve. He was trying to get up and when he made it enough to slump against the bed— not even leaning against it in a way that was comfortable— he still had the energy to look like he was fine when he wasn't. "Did someone give me the kiss of life? How sweet."

"Yeah," Shizuo lowered his gaze to those same lips that had been cold and unresponsive under his own. Even smirking with contempt or any of the expressions Shizuo had been so quick to despise was a better look than the one he had so ardently wished a lifetime ago: listless and on the verge of death. "If you could stop dying on me that'd be great."

Izaya's eyes were amused but genuine. "I'll be sure not to make it into a new hobby of mine, Shizu-chan, even if it could be entertaining if it wasn't at my own expense."

"Good. Then you're staying here while I take out the trash."

Izaya made a face. "What? You think you can take them all out on your own?"

"I do. You're hardly fit to be left alone on your own but now you want to be running around gunfire? Not happening."

"I'll be fine in a—"

"You nearly drowned!" He would have yelled but his throat was tight and more importantly, he didn't want to be caught. "Not fucking two minutes ago you weren't breathing! No. We did things your way on the island, but now you listen to me. You're staying right here."

Shizuo didn't like the glower that Izaya was giving him, being a pain and not getting it. He stood up and looked around the room for something to wrap his wounds with. In a small closet, he found folded up sheets and ripped one into three long pieces. He had to pick out the shark teeth from his arm before binding it. The other two wounds, on his side and chest, were awkward to tie around but the cloth held and stuck to his clotting blood.

Izaya was struggling to lift himself up and he managed to sit on the bed. Shizuo would have been relieved that he could move except Izaya was only doing it to prove a dumbass point. The camera bag was gone from his shoulder and he was taking off his wet coat. He winced when he slipped his arm through the sleeve, but Shizuo noticed. Without the coat, the gash on his bicep bled steadily. Now they would have mirroring scars. He ripped up another long piece of the bedsheet without looking away from him.

"You're going to stay here, right?" Shizuo said rough and low, more threat than question.

"Yeah, yeah," Izaya said in that infuriating easy manner as he examined his open wound.

"I mean it." Shizuo walked over to him. "Don't make me tie you to the bed."

"Really, Shizu-chan?" He scoffed. "That is your idea of a good plan? Nice leadership skills. This is why, as you so nicely put it, we do things my way. You leave me tied to the bed and then what if someone—"

Shizuo pushed him back so that he was lying down. He hadn't been serious about his threat but now he was actually considering it, frustration getting the better of him. He held the fabric tight in his hand, but got a hold of himself and ran it over the open wound. "Shut up," Shizuo said as he worked on securing the cloth neater than the bandages across his own chest. "I already told you I'm angry. We don't have time for this shit."

Once it was tied, Izaya was struggling to knock away the hand against his shoulder, making this even more difficult when he was already too weak to fight back and couldn't fucking see that. It only took one arm without any force to hold him down. The mattress was soaking up the dripping water and the foam under his knees molded around his legs. He hadn't felt something this soft in over a week.

"I won't get in the way." Izaya snapped, the heat behind his gaze challenged him, and Shizuo was reminded just how irrationally crazed it could make him. "You need the backup too."

Something down the hall was approaching— chatting voices, and Shizuo put a free hand over Izaya's mouth, effectively silencing him. Funny how just a few minutes ago he'd been clasping his mouth to get him to breathe.

Izaya was glaring up at him in indignation and Shizuo frowned back. He flicked his gaze towards the door, heard the voices, and stilled.

He leaned in closer to his ear and whispered, "You trust me, right?" After a pause, there was a slight tilt as Izaya couldn't actually speak, but he had to have been listening. "Then promise me you'll lock the door and stay here." He moved so that he could see him respond.

Izaya glared for a few seconds, and maybe he was thinking about arguing some more, though he closed his eyes and grudgingly nodded.

His palm was warm against his mouth, and it reminded him of when he'd felt cold, when Shizuo had thought he might actually die this time. It was why he needed to go alone. He might lose control completely and irrevocably hurt Izaya.

He let go and quietly approached the table along the wall. There was only a lamp on it which he placed on the floor. It wasn't so big that it wouldn't fit through the door. Shizuo gave Izaya a pointed look as he passed the bed. The voices had moved beyond their door and Shizuo didn't waste a second longer, the burn of his frustration was quick to unleash as he unlocked the door and stepped out into the bright hall. The two men didn't have the thought to react, their surprise and horror so great, as Shizuo smashed the table against them. Both collided into the wall, fear and pain etched in their bleeding faces once the table was removed, and Shizuo made sure they stayed down.

He didn't feel the least bit bad while livid and unleashing his pent-up anger. He made sure to dislocate their arms all the while they cried for help and suddenly they stopped screaming as their heads were smacked against the floor. Around their side pockets were bulges revealing black pistols. Shizuo broke one and grabbed the other.

It was probably a stupid thing but he went back to the room Izaya was in. He put the gun on the bed. "Here. In case anyone tries to get in you shoot them."

Izaya eyed the black pistol with distaste, from the looks of it, he hadn't moved at all from where he was sprawled on the bed. He wasn't glowering anymore, so Shizuo took it that he was going to listen. "Maybe you should consider using it yourself." 

"I'll be fine with a door or something," Shizuo said and went to leave before he got the temptation to tie Izaya to the bedpost so that he wouldn't go sneaking around. "Don't leave." He closed the door and ran down the hall in the direction opposite to where the men had gone, his footsteps were quiet as his feet were bare. He did rip off a metal door at the end of the hall.

Through the ceiling, heavy footsteps could be heard and Shizuo went up a staircase. He listened intently, looked over the rail and saw it was empty. At the top of the stairs, he heard a shot before it hit the door and went through, missing him by centimeters. Well so much for a shield.

The stairway had opened up to a lounge and bar and without hesitation, Shizuo threw the door and charged towards the furniture. His movements were too unpredictable for the bullets to hit and Shizuo went behind a leather sofa before getting behind it and kicking it where the guy wearing all black was. The man barely jumped out of the way and the boat shook on impact, but Shizuo already had a new sofa flying forward and this one hit.

The man was sent back, arms flailing and gun firing at the ceiling. His body had dented the plaster and Shizuo grabbed onto him before slamming him back into the wall. A new shot was fired and hit the sofa next to them. Shizuo peeled the unconscious man from the plaster and a bullet hit the man as Shizuo held him up. He moved forward and another bullet pelted the body he held. The attacker probably didn't care that they were shooting one of their own.

"You'd still kill him even if he were alive, huh?"

The man shooting at them was trembling, his helmet was off and his eyes were wide with the whites showing. He yelled something that Shizuo didn't understand, but whatever it was cut off short as Shizuo punched him in the face. Each rapid fire bullet struck the body between them. The man was dazed and spitting blood as he crumpled to the floor after one punch. Shizuo broke the tinted window with the butt of the man's gun and sent them both off the boat. He threw the guns out the window after them and he didn't care to check if the waves ate them up.

Through the lounge was an entertainment room with pool tables, dart boards, cards, and a huge TV that was currently off. Sweet and stale smoke hung in the air. There were still drinks set up on the tables, half drunk with condensation on the sides and pieces of ice not yet melted.

He continued forward with a pool table he had broken in half. The air was salt-tinged and the open passage had a covering to block the sun and rain. Through a set of glass doors, a fancy dining area was in sight. There were two bathrooms on either side, doors fixed open, and Shizuo stalked closer to the one on his left. It stunk of piss and in one stall some bastard hadn't bothered to flush. Shizuo would have used his foot to flush it except that he was barefoot. The other restroom smelled no better but there wasn't anyone hiding inside.

The dining hall was dark and Shizuo was glad that each table was made out of glass and wood so he didn't have to waste any time kicking them over to look for anyone. In the adjacent kitchen, the air held remnants of cooked meat and dishes, and it reminded him of his own long-suppressed hunger. He hit the switch and gleaming metal showed on all the surfaces. He checked around the main counter before returning to the dining hall and continuing to the deck where a miniature pool glistened prettily with the colors of the rising sun. 

But there was nowhere after the deck. Shizuo, confused but still alert, looked around and spotted an outdoor stairway. It must have lead to the controls of the ship. Someone had to be there controlling the boat.

He jumped the stairs, kicked open the door, and expected a gun in his face or a man sitting in a large comfortable chair, but the entire place was vacated. There wasn't anywhere to hide either. The walls were lined with windows and in the distance, the island was still puffing out smoke as some patches of flames hadn't yet been extinguished and beyond the mountain peak, smoke was coming from behind. Whether that was put out yet or not, Shizuo didn't know.

The boat had many switches and monitors and the steering wheel had a cup of coffee next to it with steam coiling above the rim. A radio went off, the message was in English, even if it was too fast and accented for him to understand, he did pick up the words 'returning' and 'over'. It could have meant they were returning here and Shizuo knew he had to be absolutely sure that the entire boat was clear. He also had no idea how to drive this thing. There were more buttons and levers than he had the patience for.

He ran out the room and was down the stairs in one leap. This time he was more careful to check dark areas as he went and luckily in a shadowy corner, he was able to find a door that led into a slim stairway. The metal protested as he went down three at a time and the railing bent at the bottom curve.

He cursed his own stupidity for not having thoroughly searched the bottom floor where he had left Izaya. Shit, that door had better have been locked, but he couldn't be sure since Izaya had barely been able to sit up on a bed.

It was quiet as he examined the main hall, the two men were as he had left them. When he opened the room Izaya was in, there was no resistance. "Izaya?"

The hall light struck across a bed that was wet and empty with stray blood peppering white, crisp sheets. The metal of the door crumpled.

He went to the nearest door and kicked it open, breaking it and sending it flying. It was an empty bedroom.

He did the same for the other bedrooms, the bathrooms, the sauna rooms and an exercise room where the door shattered against a full-length mirror. One of the last remaining rooms was at the end, marked different by words in English that he didn't bother reading. It opened to complicated machinery and glinting metal in the barely visible darkness. He had found the engine room and in the dark, Shizuo searched for a light switch. His nostrils flared at the smell of burnt rubber and chemicals.

Though there was a light hum of working machinery, Shizuo got the impression that he wasn't alone. He was still feeling the wall when he heard a soft drag like scraping boots. The switch came on and the lights buzzed overhead, flickering before slowly brightening in too much intensity.

Whoever was in here was hiding. The machinery took up the bulk of the space, a huge mass at the center and sides, with many hiding places. Shizuo didn't have any time to waste. The door was hanging off its hinges and he snapped it off.

He didn't so much as flinch at an unexpected loud buzzer and movement of machinery by his head. The growing hum became louder. Sweat rolled down his bangs, as the room was noticeably hotter. The confined space was just enough to fit the door, and past the corner, the area was frustratingly empty. Another machine fired off loudly and in the space between two humming machines, a black-clad man was hiding with his gun poised. The boat jerked forward, kicking to life and the gun that had been pointing at his face fired above his head in quick succession.

The boat rocked heavily before moving forward and Shizuo grabbed the gun before it could aim in his direction. It snapped between his hands and as the man began to plead with him in a language that he didn't understand, giving up without a fight, the floor became wet with blood as he wrenched the body out of hiding and forced it hard into the metal floor with crackling and shifting bones.

The machinery continued to hum around him. His footprints trailed blood as he headed for the bridge of the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boat is a luxury yacht and I'm not going to go too deep into the mechanics of it or how to drive it. Unless you are a yacht fanatic then feel free to say whatever you want.
> 
> As for Izaya, he experienced apnea blackout which may be explained later (if it's not then I will add it to the next chapter notes). But let's just say if Izaya had panicked and asphyxiated by filling his lungs with water, he would have died without proper medical intervention. So lucky him! And you know how many drowning videos I watched? Pfff, probably as many human decomposing videos. Gosh, I wish that wasn't true.


	45. short of breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya would have laughed if his pants weren't currently halfway down his legs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, sorry for the long wait, this chapter gave me a lot of trouble. Also -possible trigger warnings- mentions of bombs and depictions of drowning (both somewhat graphic)

What did Shizuo expect, really? For Izaya to listen and sit patiently while he risked his life for them both?

Izaya rolled his eyes. Yeah, as if.

The moment Shizuo had closed the door and took off, Izaya struggled up. It didn't matter that his arms and legs felt like he'd been sprinting nonstop for days, or that a splitting headache was making it difficult for him to concentrate. This was simply something he had to do.

He looked at the handgun Shizuo had left and while he would rather not bother with the firearm, he reached for where it was on the bed. The grip was warm and sticky. Izaya examined the semi-automatic weapon, first checking that there was a manual safety switch on the upper left portion of the grip, which there was, but even so, he had no way of knowing if the gun was already cocked with a bullet loaded and ready, and while the fastest way to find out would be firing it, Shizuo was probably close enough to hear it and would undoubtedly come right back. Yeah, and that would go down really well, now wouldn't it?

The magazine release was on the same side as the safety, and he pressed the button, careful that the magazine wouldn't come out too fast or else fall out. He set it down next to him before working on the challenging part: pushing back on the slide of the gun one-handed. While not pointing at anything that could do him any harm, he put it between his knees and tried to slide it back. It wouldn't budge.

He'd educated himself on the mechanics of guns, but handling one wasn't the same and he couldn't be completely sure if it could fire now without the magazine inside. It took him a second to realize it wouldn't slide because the safety was on. After switching it off, he was able to slide the top and a bullet popped out. He picked it from the floor, added it to the magazine, and guided it all in place before cocking the handgun and switching on the safety. Aiming at the hole in the wall, he tried the trigger and just as he hoped, it didn't go off.

Izaya, with a shaky exhale, pushed off from the bed and found that he could stand. Though, at his first step a gun fired and soon multiple rounds went off, loud and crisp, and so did the image of bullet after bullet striking a body tough as steel.

Shizuo didn't fear death. He was a bull that only knew how to charge at whatever came in his path, meeting whatever weapon that was pulled against him head on without batting an eyelash.

Izaya was unable to take a step. He caught himself against the wall as his legs locked up as if with ice, sick from the image his aching head produced. "Shit," he hissed in pain. "Come on."

He took a heavy step and once he was by the door, he rested his damp forehead against the wood. Several more shots were fired and the floor swayed as the yacht rocked. He leaned more heavily on the door to keep himself steady. This ... wasn't good at all. Even standing hurt; his legs threatened to buckle any moment. He was a lot worse than he realized.

 _Just a few more seconds_ , he thought. And then he'd be ready.

He gripped the gun in his hand and waited for the dizzy spell to pass. With the sudden cease of gunfire, the thought to return to the bed crossed his mind, but he knew as long as he could stand and had the breath to fight then he wouldn't allow himself the pleasure. He kept his thumb near the safety switch, steeled his resolve which was laced with pain, and opened the door to a jarring bright light. To his left were two men supine and littered with broken pieces of the wooden wall and plaster. Shizuo had gone in the other direction and Izaya decided to follow that path.

His footsteps were wet sounding over the black, marble patterned floors. It became quiet around him. Without any shots firing, Izaya moved quicker, imagining the worst and ignoring the sore pain in his body.

At the end of the hall was a staircase leading up. Izaya eased the gun a bit higher as he went up the flight of stairs to the next floor. Bullet holes were embedded in the wooden panels.

The path of Shizuo's violence was marked by the broken pieces of furniture stuck in the wall and the ruined bar. A cool draft came through a broken window and he avoided stepping over the biggest pieces of broken glass and droplets of blood.

Wooden doors opened up to a saloon. A huge monitor hooked to the wall was where they undoubtedly watched the video feeds. Half of a pool table was in the center of the room and billiard balls were scattered on the wooden floors. The room smelled of sweat and stale cigar smoke, it was raw and disgusting against his sore throat. Stretching across the wall was a cabinet filled with empty crystal bottles. Broken glasses littered a corner of the room. He craved something for his own thirst and he had to look away from the amber and clear bottles. Along his teeth the taste of salt was heavy, and he licked his bottom lip, the texture gone tender and rough.

He had a moment of fresh air, the night and ocean on either side of him before he continued through glass doors which opened and closed with a smooth click. The room was fairly large with fancy wooden and glass tables strewn all around with matching chairs. Their most recent meal lingered in the air, a concoction of meats, spices, and stale smoke. A few plates had been left out with remaining pieces of crumbs.

Izaya listened intently as he moved forward, gun pointed out and heavy in his hand.

There was a faint noise, a slamming door, and Izaya paused as he heard it once more, this time being able to locate that it came from below where the sleeping quarters were. He hoped that wasn't more men deciding to investigate now that the noise had died down.

Izaya quickened his pace, exited the dining hall to the deck and gave the pool and deck chairs a glance before he looked up to what had to be the control room. He was out of breath by the top of the stairs and drew back the wet bangs from his forehead. Black dots were threatening the corner of his sight and he had to lean heavily against the railing.

It was only a little more. The island was in sight but soon they'd be putting real distance from there. He fumbled with the door before entering the empty room. A haze of light came from the long windows. He fell into the padded white chair stationed in front of the wheel and placed the gun next to a mug filled with coffee.

With a hand over the worst part of his aching head, Izaya studied the monitors, switches, buttons, and the dual throttle. It was difficult to focus, painful even, and Izaya took the mug that was nearly full and took a sip of warm liquid before deeming it drinkable and downing the rest. Though he only had coffee when he really needed it, the taste was to his liking, rich and not heavy with creamer or sugar. As he set the cup down with a clack, the room wasn't spinning as much.

The yacht wasn't the type to need keys, but Izaya had to figure out how to get it to work and as he tried the switches and buttons, he found it not as simple as he first imagined it to be. There was no obvious switch or button labeled start.

Shit, what if they came all this way and he couldn't even start the damn thing?

"It can't be _that_ hard," he muttered as he re-examined the dashboard. A stack of papers sat against the window and Izaya brought them close. The pages that were useless dropped to the floor by his feet. One of the few remaining papers was a booklet stained with dark rings warping the front page, and skimming through it, Izaya found that it was a maintenance guide for the engine as well as emergency procedures. It was in multiple languages and while there wasn't anything in the index about starting the yacht, someone had left a post-it note sticking out of a page which depicted a diagram in smeared ink with numbers and arrows to what he hoped was how to start it.

Following the crude notes and seeing the lights come on, he moved one side of the dual lever throttle making the boat jerk forward. He did it again, thinking he missed a step when a gun fired and two more rounds came and after it became eerily silent.

Izaya hurried and soon the yacht was rocking unsteadily, then crawling along and gradually increasing in speed. There were other noises too: distant helicopters, the radio going off, and rapid approaching steps. Izaya grabbed the gun, his thumb positioned near the safety switch.

He hadn't fully turned in his chair before the door burst forward with a splitting sound. The noise had him cringing, his head pounding, but Izaya wasn't so alarmed as the door hinges had come loose, and where the door had once been, Shizuo stood. The gun went back on the dashboard and he put his hand on his forehead.

It didn't appear that Shizuo had any new wounds from the front, though his most recent ones were trailing blood and sweat, thin lines as dark as black veins.

" _You_ -" Shizuo started and faltered, his chest moved with each deep breath, the light caught the sheen of sweat there. "You're...you're okay?" He covered his eyes and cursed. "What the hell? Dammit, Izaya! What are you doing here?"

It was too dark to make out his exact expression, but Izaya was sure that Shizuo was mad. He was prepared for it too. "Oops," Izaya said, in what he knew was a poor attempt to relieve the situation, "I must have lost my way somewhere between the bed and locking the door."

That snapped Shizuo out of his stupor and he came closer, steps deceivingly quiet as he was barefoot.

 _He must be really angry._ Izaya thought. A small grin he couldn't help lifted his lips. _Ah, I've really done it this time._

Just as he was about to say a half-hearted apology—half-hearted because he wasn't the least bit sorry—he saw Shizuo's expression looking down at him, the light from the window now reaching his face. The piercing ire that he had been expecting was not there. There was no mistaking the wild-eyed disbelief; it was impossible to think of it as anything else as Shizuo searched him for invisible wounds, convinced that _something_ was wrong, believed it with feverish foolishness. There was no mistaking the relief that came soft as a shuddering exhale.

' _Unauthorized movement detected on base 6.'_ The message in English played. ' _What is the situation, over?'_

"You could have died."

"Yeah?" Izaya matched his unnaturally soft tone. "And so could have you."

' _Base 6—"_

Shizuo's hand went through the radio before he could think to stop him. Izaya would have observed the damage except Shizuo's eyes were stopping him. "You're all right?" Shizuo asked.

"Of course. What did you expect?"

Shizuo grumbled something and turned his attention to the window that was facing the island. It was hard to make out, but approaching their way was a black helicopter. If they were unlucky then more would follow.

"Bastards." Shizuo rolled his right shoulder, testing his arm which had previously been bitten and was now seeping blood anew. "Since you won't listen to me anyway, just do what you want. Making me worry for nothing."

"Hey, someone had to drive this, and it's not so easy to start up. I'm guessing you'd have broken the controls long before even figuring out how to start the engine."

Shizuo ignored him. He went towards the door and picked it up. The last hinge broke apart with only a tug.

"Where are you going? Hey, Shizu-chan! Wait." But Shizuo was already jumping down the stairs.

Maybe an apology _would_ have been better, but Izaya hadn't been wrong about this. He frowned as the beginnings of something making him feel worse had him second guessing himself but he brushed it aside to deal with more important things.

A crack was running along the glossy panels and some screens were cracked but otherwise, it seemed like everything but the main radio was working. Through the window was an endless sea, brightening as the sun continued to rise. He'd have to study the navigation system, but getting as far away was the priority for now. Behind them, the helicopter was coming closer, the noise loud enough to be a concern.

Knowing Shizuo, he was probably gathering things to throw at the approaching helicopter. It was too bad about the radio because maybe there was a chance to negotiate with the people on the helicopter who more likely than not, had no desire to fight Shizuo and were only doing what was ordered of them.

Over by the end of the dashboard was something that resembled a radio and Izaya gripped the arm of the chair, ready to stand and look when one of the monitor screens flickered and dimmed.

' _While congratulations are certainly due, Orihara Izaya.'_

Izaya groaned. This was precisely what he had most wanted to avoid, especially now while he felt like shit.

' _This is not the means to beat the game. Stop the yacht and we will retrieve you shortly and return you to the island._ _Failure to comply will result in immediate elimination. You have one chance to make your choice. Stop now and no further harm will come your way.'_

"No further harm?" Izaya scoffed as he guided the throttle forward and the boat picked up the maximum speed. They weren't going to go back. Going back was a more sure death sentence. It made his body go cold. And what about Shizuo? Or were they purposely leaving him out? "Haven't I already won and Shizuo already lost? So technically we're no longer playing your game, right?"

When the voice didn't respond right away, not that he was expecting it to, Izaya became tense, now imagining that this was what they wanted.

' _Surrender is no longer an option. You have one minute remaining before detonation.'_

The screen changed to a countdown from sixty.

' _Game over.'_

By fifty-seven, Izaya got over his initial shock and irritation. He was sick and tired hearing those words. Stopping the yacht didn't make the numbers go away. Izaya, with a hand over his forehead, immediately calculated all of the most probable locations of a detonating device and the size of it and judged all of the options for each scenario.

Without knowing what type of bomb or it's location, the lack of information had him thinking the worst, and while he did know quite enough about bombs, it was all against their favor.

A close enough explosion could mean any number of things: the initial contact of a shock wave would have a force similar to being hit by an invisible truck or belly-flopping into a body of water from a tower (while Shizuo could survive that the regular human would suffer irreparable damage), but it would get worse as the force would continue, traveling in waves as the energy would be absorbed and then rupture blood vessels and burst and liquefy internal organs – it was especially disgusting imaging what that entailed for the eyes, lungs and brain – then the heat would fry the body, the hot shrapnel could shred a person, and if the explosion contained any chemicals, the entire place would be a hazard. At that point, there would be little to distinguish whose blood and mutilated pieces were whose.

That was what they wanted, right? Entertainment and a good show to enjoy.

Forty-eight.

 _Shit_. First thing he would have to do was go to the deck and get Shizuo. He heard something outside and a moment later there was a rumble and crunching of metal from above.

Forty-four.

The multiple screens blinked and became blank. The countdown had stopped. Izaya stumbled out of the chair and went towards the open door. Against the railing, he peered up just as Shizuo hefted a massive structure over his shoulder.

He trailed a circular shape and Izaya began to realize that Shizuo had taken down the spinning radar of the yacht, which was a collision avoidance system enclosed in a dome shape, and the communications tower with whatever antennas were attached to it.

"Do you know what that _is_ you've just destroyed?" Izaya yelled over the noise of the helicopter.

Shizuo jumped down to the opposite side where the helicopter pad was.

Izaya grimaced and went over the rail to follow Shizuo, landing on unsteady feet that had him stumbling and pitching forward. Even though the timer was out, Izaya doubted that it meant the bomb was as well. He picked himself up, the burn in his limbs even more evident now that he was rushing.

The deck had pieces of furniture strewn about that was intended to be thrown at the helicopter, which by now was at a near enough distance that they could be shot at. Perhaps there was no bomb on the boat, but they merely meant to shoot them with something big enough from the helicopter.

"They're planning on blowing us up," Izaya yelled.

"What?" Shizuo shouted after he threw the dome-shaped object. Then he threw a sofa chair.

"We don't have any time! There's an explosive weapon." Izaya leaned onto an antique styled loveseat which was facing away from the helicopter. He had to turn to witness just as the sofa missed and plummeted into the sea. The countdown must have been close.

Shizuo stepped back to the edge of the helicopter pad. He ran and threw the communication tower and before he could pick something else up (what was left was the seat he was currently on), Izaya reached forward as Shizuo was grasping the armrest and ignoring him.

"Stop, there's a—"

The rest of his words drowned in the wake of an explosion. As he was facing away, he did not see it, but he felt the sudden gust that sent his seat careening forward. Izaya hit the deck hard, his injured wrist trapped below him and jarring him with sudden mind-numbing pain. The yacht rocked violently as if a wave had crashed into it. Izaya remained half under the loveseat, but the weight disappeared and he found himself propped up without having moved a muscle.

Izaya became more aware. Shizuo's face came to focus. There was a slight ringing in his ear, nothing that altered his hearing, but his head certainly didn't appreciate it. But— _but_ he could feel it. They were alive.

On the surface of the ocean, the helicopter, well what remained of the helicopter, was scattered and bobbing.

The sudden quiet was harsh. "Did...you do that?" Izaya asked.

Shizuo didn't respond right away, he had moved to the very edge of the helicopter pad and was gripping the rails. "I don't know," he said in thought. "I'm sure I missed. The thing I threw was falling so how could it have hit?"

Izaya felt along his too warm wrist alight with throbbing pain. He blinked slowly as he pictured the men in the helicopter blowing themselves up, or better yet, Shizuo unwittingly throwing the bomb at them.

Of all the crazy, infinite possibilities, Shizuo had found the bomb and threw it at the helicopter. Of course! No one but Shizuo would have been able to do that. Everyone who had been watching had probably been petrified and shitting their pants.

Izaya laughed. He grasped his stomach as he moved forward. Oh, how their plan backfired so spectacularly.

"What's so funny?"

He laughed harder, enjoyed this type of ache and breathlessness. "Everything," Izaya said when he could regain his composure. "Can you believe you threw their bomb back at them?"

"What!?" Shizuo came around the chair. "Was that what you were saying? That they have a bomb or something."

"Yes." He slumped further and against his bare skin the plush, smooth surface was incredible. Izaya was glad Shizuo hadn't thrown the chair because otherwise he'd be sprawled on the helicopter pad.

"Shit. _Shit._ They were trying to... _fucking_ hell." Shizuo sat down next to him with his elbows on his knees and leaning forward. The muscles were tense all the way down his back. "That's it then, right? It's over."

For a little longer he relaxed with deep breaths. "For now." He said dryly. "Unless they follow us to finish the job." And either way, it wouldn't be over until Izaya made it so.

"Fuck." Shizuo groaned, leaned back, and knocked into Izaya's left shoulder. "Sorry."

Izaya shook his head. His body sunk bonelessly and leaned into the warmth next to him. "How spectacular. Of course, they wouldn't have been expecting you to do that. Ah, can you imagine how angry and flabbergasted they must be? Their expressions must have been hilarious. That was amazing." Izaya turned to face him. "Shizu-chan, you're a—"

Shizuo stiffened, and Izaya realized his mistake.

"—your arm; It's uncomfortable."

Shizuo tsked and got up. "You said they might follow us?" He balled his hands and shoved them into his pockets. "Then let's go. Before more helicopters come closer."

That moment of comfort was gone and Izaya wished he hadn't said anything. "Ah, I suppose." The island was behind them and Izaya didn't look back as he walked away.

The captain's chair was too thick and too fancy to be particularly easy on his back. After tinkering around with the remaining working controls, he did manage to get the autopilot on, though without the navigation system, Izaya wasn't sure which direction would get them to land the fastest. For all he knew, they could be heading for more open water, but right now he just wanted to move forward.

Down below from his seat, Izaya watched as an inflatable raft was brought to the deck. Moments later Shizuo disappeared only to return with three bodies that he dropped into the raft. Two of the men were recovered but had no means to fight with the limp way their arms dangled, the other man was out cold, maybe for good judging by how broken his face appeared. They were kicked off the boat, literally, and Shizuo threw something after them. He went inside and didn't come out again.

A cold touch at Izaya's shoulder and the word "hey" had him jolting awake, as he had no recollection of nodding off.

It was a water bottle that Shizuo tapped him with; no, not just any water but fancy mineral water in a blue glass bottle. He poured it into a glass and handed it over. "Here. I found some painkillers too if you want some."

Shizuo was wearing a black shirt and a new pair of white pants that were a little bit too sort at the cuffs. Not only that, he was impeccably clean with damp hair.

The water was soothing and Izaya drank most of it in one go. He read the plastic container that Shizuo handed to him and sure enough, Shizuo was right. He popped two in his mouth. "Thanks," he said a little breathlessly after taking another swig and from the rim of his cup, he saw the folded up clothes and a clear first aid kit.

"You want to shower or bathe first? There's hot water."

Izaya blinked slowly. Hot water? It was tempting, but he didn't think he had the energy to get up and walk to the bottom floor when all he wanted to do was sleep. Except what he should be doing was keeping watch. "No, I'll keep watch and drive the boat."

"Keep watch?" Shizuo scoffed. "With your eyes closed?"

"I was only resting my eyes."

"Sure you were. So you going to get cleaned up or what? We'll need to change your bandages anyway and you shouldn't sleep in wet clothes."

"My pants are dry enough."

Shizuo touched his knee, the warmth of his palm went through the chill of his damp pants.

" _Izaya_."

"I'm tired. I'll do it later."

Instead of being hauled out of the seat, as he half-expected, Shizuo only offered him his hand. "C'mon."

"What?" He snapped. Izaya really didn't want to do this now, he was so exhausted. "Are you going to join me in the shower too?"

"If that's what it takes," Shizuo said close to a growl.

His expression became tense. "Really?" Izaya said with the tired, ill taste of his own bitter humor. "You'd do that for me?" He took Shizuo's hand, warm and without a hint of his strength, and got up. It was a good thing Shizuo had a hold on him because the suddenness of standing had him lightheaded and unsteady. "Never mind." He was already trying to sit back down when Shizuo wasn't allowing him to retreat. "I don't care, I don't feel so good."

Shizuo tsked but he relented and Izaya shakily fell back into the chair. "At least change into new clothes, all right?" Shizuo pushed the clothes against his chest. "I'm going to get some stuff."

Izaya was left as he was hunched over the dashboard, trying to keep his head from swimming. Once the black dots were gone from his vision, Izaya lifted the stack of clothes and tiredly pulled on a thin white shirt. It was many sizes too big for him with an overbearing smell of artificial flowers, but as he came in contact with his own cool skin, he could no longer complain.

Wiggling out of his wet pants and boxer briefs was a whole other challenge one-handed, and they were down his thighs when Shizuo returned with a too big mattress that he was trying to fit through a too small door frame. The bed was only so flexible and Shizuo ended up breaking the door frame to get it to fit. Izaya shook his head and wondered if during one of Shizuo's part time jobs if he had ever gotten fired from a moving company.

The bed took up half of the space. "There," Shizuo said, satisfied. "Now this time don't lose your way from the bed and end up where you shouldn't."

"Great," Izaya teased. "If I need any more room service I'll be sure to ring a bell."

"Yeah?" Shizuo straightened up. "The only room service you'll be getting is a trip to the hospital."

Izaya would have laughed if his pants weren't currently halfway down his legs. Instead, he grinned. How clever.

Shizuo looked unimpressed. "Hold on a sec'," he said and left once more, and finally, Izaya managed to kick off his wet clothes before pulling on black shorts that were again too big. They were drawstring and tied with a loose knot. Resting back in the chair, with a sigh, he drank more water and remained idle with his eyes closed.

Shizuo reappeared with fresh bed sheets, blankets, and pillows and diligently made the bed.

Izaya didn't wait for him to be finished before he sunk onto the bed and his body weight molded into the foam mattress. This was so much better than the chair.

"Hey...we still need to clean your wounds."

Izaya groaned from where he had dived under the covers, but he stuck out his arm so Shizuo wouldn't make it his business to bother him further. Though he wasn't watching, he felt the still wet bandages being removed from his arm that hurt more in the open air, and Izaya held back his pain as he waited and shuddered and the area was cleaned and dressed. His upper arm, the one that had been shot with the arrow, ached as Shizuo worked on it painstakingly slow. It took all of his energy to hold still as the wound closed. Before it was finished, Izaya passed out.

It must have been a while when the need to take a piss roused him from sleep. A slight chill had him shivering as he lifted the blanket from his head. It was brighter now and he squinted his eyes in the light. Shizuo sat in the captain's chair and turned when he heard the rustle of blankets.

"How long have I been out for?" His voice was a touch hoarse.

"I don't know, half the day?"

There was a familiar strange feeling in his arm and when he moved his right hand, something was attached to it. He lifted it and saw the clear tube of an IV that was attached to a fold-up chair. It was nearly empty.

"Can you take this out? I need to take the second longest piss of my life." There was only a slight pain as it was removed and Shizuo didn't let him go before he put on a new bandaid over it.

"Do you need help?"

Izaya was about to say something snappish because hell he wasn't joking about this being the second largest piss of his life, but instead changed his mind, "just throw me my shoes."

His shoes were wet as he slid into them sockless. They made squishing noises as he went down the stairs, but he was walking more steady and Shizuo stopped trailing him when he didn't collapse down the stairs.

"There's a bathroom through the dining room," Shizuo said.

The bathroom stung his nose and it was worse as he closed the stall. He felt definitely better now that his bladder wasn't threatening him and when he went to the sinks to wash his hands, he marveled at his own reflection.

How could Shizuo stand to look at him? Well, not that he could stand looking at him before the island, but this was an all-time low for him. Sickly wouldn't even begin to cover it. It looked like his yellow-green-purple bruises were sporting even uglier yellow-green-purple bruises while the rest of his skin was either too pale or dark; his bottom lip was healing from when it had busted. He ran his tongue over the crack and swelling along his lip. He tasted salt and blood.

He looked like he had been brought back from the dead. He wanted to see what he looked like while smiling. "Not bad," he mused aloud. "If you're into zombies." He washed his hands then splashed cool water over his face. 

Though his body was cold, his face was radiating warmth. When he opened the glass doors to the dining area, he heard a noise in the adjacent kitchen.

"Shizu-chan?" he called through the door.

There was a pause then a low, 'what'.

Izaya pushed the door open and Shizuo was making something in a mug. His shoulders were hunched forward as he mixed a drink. He didn't look up as Izaya passed.

It was quiet at first and Izaya was about to ask what Shizuo was making when he said, "I was beginning to think maybe that _was_ the longest piss on record since you were taking so long."

"Heh. What you got an exact number this time?" Izaya asked.

Shizuo was pulling a bag out from a high shelf. "Yeah, three minutes and forty-nine point twelve seconds."

"Nice try. Is that tea?"

"No, but there is some tea here somewhere. Want some?"

"Yeah, thanks." Izaya went around the kitchen island, leaned against the sleek metal before he eased up onto the counter so he could sit. He watched as Shizuo prepared a tea bag from a metal tin and put it in a white mug and added water from an electric water dispenser.

"Let me guess, no sugar." Shizuo set the cup next to where Izaya sat. In all that time, Shizuo had only given him a slight glance.

"Good guess," Izaya said as he observed whatever concoction Shizuo was making.

The liquid in his own cup began to seep brown before Shizuo spoke again. "I made myself something to eat earlier. There are a lot of canned goods and instant foods, but I did find some dried fruit, cereal, and bars if you want something easy. There's a rice cooker too if you want to wait for rice."

Izaya was undeniably hungry and he decided on the easiest thing. "The dried fruits and bars then."

Shizuo moved to where there was a pantry stocked with packaged food. He took down a big plastic satchel as well as two other colorful boxes.

The mug was hot at the handle, and Izaya blew over it when he brought it closer. It was barley tea and too hot to drink so Izaya set it down again.

The plastic pouch had pictures of mangoes, berries, apricots and pineapples, and Shizuo opened the bag before pouring it into a bowl and placing it down next to the tea. The bars were made out of grains and nuts and Shizuo put two on the counter. It was while he was opening a box of cookies that he finally noticed that he was being observed. "Want some?" He asked as he carefully got the cookie wrapper open.

"I'm good."

"Really? I found the whipped cream though."

There was a box fridge and from it, he held out an aerosol can.

"Definitely not." Izaya made a face before he picked at the bowl next to him. He ate slowly, but it was difficult when actual good tasting food went past his lips.

Shizuo meticulously slathered layers of artificial cream over each of the cookies he ate. He made whipped cream sandwiches, whipped cream towers, and whipped cream pyramids.

It was the first time Izaya had seen anyone attempt to eat an entire can of whipped cream.

"For real, how can you eat all that?" Izaya asked. "It tastes like sweetened chemicals."

"Nah, this is the good kind of whipped cream. Here, try some." He broke in half his most recent abomination: a chocolate chip cookie topped with a turd-sized pile of whipped cream. Just to humor him, Izaya took it delicately and licked the very tip of the top. It was a shock of sweetness, too overpowering to his own liking to taste nothing but a puff of artificial sweetener. "Good, right?"

"Not at all." He stuck out his tongue.

"Alright, open your mouth."

Izaya grimaced. "No, absolutely not."

"What, you've never eaten it directly from the can? That's the best way."

"Of course not and If I didn't like a tiny bit of it, why would I like a whole mouthful?"

"Duh, because it's whipped cream. The more the better. See." Shizuo shook the can before emptying a cringe-worthy amount into his mouth and swallowing it down. "Delicious."

Izaya wasn't at all convinced. He shook his head. "I'll pass this time." Unless he was eating it out of Shizuo's mouth directly, it wasn't worth the suffering. Hah! As if that were going to happen anyway.

"Suit yourself." He turned away and started a new stack of tiny cream topped cookies.

"What," Izaya sighed. "Not going to use your keen persuasion techniques to try to convince me?"

"No?" Shizuo paused, "unless...you want some?"

"Of course not."

"Okay."

" _Shizu_ -chan."

"All right! You want it or not?"

" _Fine,"_ Izaya said. "But not too much. I don't need you filling my lungs with that crap."

He opened his mouth and leaned forward on the counter. Shizuo put down his own cookies and came closer. With a hiss of air, a mound of whipped cream assaulted his tongue.

"So?" His expression was expectant.

Izaya worked it around his mouth. He grinned. "Yeah, it's awful. _Truly_ heinous." And it was, though maybe he was over exaggerating a tiny biy.

Shizuo rolled his eyes.

"I'll have another." Izaya grinned and enjoyed the way it got Shizuo's attention—a steady gaze that flitted from his eyes down to his mouth. Izaya opened his mouth a tad more suggestively than warranted.

 _That's right, Shizu-chan._ Izaya gripped the edge of the cold table, he didn't look away and neither did Shizuo. The tip of his tongue traced his bottom teeth. _Forget about everything else._

Three long seconds. That was how long the hiss of spray went for. Was Shizuo trying to kill him? Izaya began to feel real regret as the fluffy, artificial cream became too much for him to force down. His face scrunched and he grimaced as it melted and mixed with his saliva.

Disgusting. How was this even edible? This was the devil's sugary piss in a can.

He heard a noise and Izaya opened his eyes and settled on the real way Shizuo was grinning, even if it was slight. "Cute."

Maybe it was worth it after all.

But first he had to clean his mouth. The barley tea helped rinse out the awful aftertaste and Izaya felt a renewal of energy as he finished his food. It was enough to want to take a shower.

Since every single door on the bottom floor had been kicked open by someone strong enough to break them (and some doors had holes just the right size of a foot), it meant there was an unnerving lack of privacy. Shizuo hadn't spared any of the bathroom doors from his rage and of course, the shower walls were made out of glass. Then Izaya whistled; in a connected back room, nestled in the floor, was a circular hot tub. The door to this room had found itself in the wall, but that didn't take away any of its beauty. One set of switches had lights dancing along to mimic flowing water. The walls and floors were made out of white stone.

He rinsed off the sides of the tub before turning on the knobs and testing the temperature to something not too hot but still relaxing. While the tub filled, Izaya went to the adjoining room; at the sink, he rummaged through the drawers before he found an unopened toothbrush. He relished each slow brush and ended up brushing his teeth twice.

Stacks of fluffy towels, hastily folded, were in a closet and he put one next to the tub. He stripped off his clothes and had a quick shower, all the while careful not to get his left arm wet. Sleek bottles lined the shelf and Izaya used everything as finally he began to feel completely clean with the warm, soapy water cascaded down his body.

Izaya turned off the faucet and let the water trail on the floor as he made his way to the tub. It was nearly full and the lights made the steam appear gold and blue. He stepped in and sat on a raised seat with his arm resting out of the water. He knew in his current state that he couldn't stay too long, but he enjoyed every minute fiddling with the buttons on the side, testing the water jets and massage options.

He sighed, but not in contentment as everything was too strong for him to use, even on the lowest setting. The water continued to churn around him, dazzling and wild, and his thoughts drifted as he watched the idyllic pattern of lights flowing against the floor. The ocean depths were nothing like that—it was a black, suffocating squeeze.

The beginning of dizziness swarmed his head. He was out of the water against the ledge. For a terrifying second, the steam would not let him breathe.

He grabbed the towel and made it to the adjoining room only to drop to his knees in front of the sink. He coughed and shuddered. His body remembered the terror of drowning and his mind knew it better. It had taken everything in him, fighting his natural desperation, to not breathe in the water while his lungs starved for air; his eyes, wide and unseeing, drifting closed—black, black water coaxing him down, pulling at his numb legs when he only had the burn in his arms and no strength to hold on to the only thing keeping him up.

He knew if he had been forced to breathe and his last desperate effort to live would be to gulp in water, then a spasm of his vocal folds would have reflexively blocked any flow in and out of his lungs. The cerebral hypoxia would worsen, his brain starving for oxygen would inevitably cause the laryngospasm to end within a minute and his vocal folds would open up, allowing water passage into his lungs. This process would continue, a spasm of asphyxiation that shortened with each breath of water. Gulping more water reflexivity while his brain shut down, filling his body with seawater, killing him slowly; only the fear of that allowed him to go on as long as he did, go beyond his own limits and pass out without exhaling or inhaling. His body remembered. Though his mind knew he was no longer in the ocean.

His body remembered. Though his mind knew he was no longer in the ocean.

Izaya opened his eyes and the white bathroom tiles were blurry in his vision. He stayed as he was, forehead resting against cool tiles, as his breaths came rough and his heartbeat pulsed loudly. The water collected on the floor and Izaya felt each drop gather and trail down his skin. He shivered and forced himself upright. His clothes were thankfully resting on the counter and Izaya reached up for them and let the bundle fall into his lap.

Shit. Since when was putting on clothes so painful? His hands trembled as he worked through the tight sleeves, his legs were slow to move and the shorts refused to slide along without dragging in agitation against his skin.

When at last he was fully clothed, he was sitting against the wall too tired to move and the flush from his bath had long left. It took considerable effort to stand but he couldn't rest here. The mirror showed nothing about what transpired except that his face was pallid and his eyes a touch glassy. Izaya made his way through the boat leaning heavily against the walls.

On the way to the control room, he found Shizuo on the deck, sunbathing. An empty chair was set up by him and Izaya made the easy choice and sat into with movements purposely slow. The chair squeaked. Izaya hissed.

"You okay?" Shizuo asked.

"Oh yeah. I was a little too adventurous with the hot tub. Did you see it? It's pretty nice."

Shizuo tsked. Before Izaya could get lectured, judging by the deepening furrow of his brows, he returned the question. "And you? Holding up alright?"

Shizuo didn't say anything right away and Izaya shifted in the seat. "You know, If you want to talk to me about anything I'll listen, or if you want me to shut up I can as well." Izaya waited once more. Enough time had passed that he wondered if Shizuo had even been listening, but then he heard a mumbled thanks, and though Shizuo didn't elaborate, Izaya let it be.

He slipped off his shoes and stretched, cracked his back and loosened his joints. The sun struck him mid-chest down and while normally he'd cover himself up or put sunscreen on, Izaya didn't have either of those options and the sun was invitingly warm.

The ocean passed by steadily along, the current wasn't too fast, and from here they could see anything ahead of the boat. Well, not that Shizuo was looking as he had an arm over his eyes. It wasn't in sleep or comfort either as his arms would get tense or he'd move roughly, the chair creaking each time.

Izaya held his tongue. For now, he'd give Shizuo his quiet, but if he withdrew away any further, Izaya wouldn't let him. His thoughts went to how he could bring Shizuo to a better place. Soon after he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, if you want more information on what happened to Izaya, here ya go:
> 
> [After being in the water for an extended period of time, apnea blackout, or freediving blackout, is a loss of consciousness during an ascent to the surface after holding one's breath too long and this is a reaction to the loss of oxygen for the brain (cerebral hypoxia). Once a person passes out their body has lost voluntary bodily control and will begin to drown but one protective reflex that protects the airway is laryngospasm, which is an involuntary muscular contraction that closes the larynx and prevents water from entering the lungs. But this doesn't last and will relax once more and open as the brain begins to die, thus if still underwater, drowning will continue as the lungs fills up with water and laryngospasm continues once more though it is shorter (survival is very unlikely at this stage) but if resurfaced before that point of drowning- when the larynx relaxes, air can pass through and possibly revive the person.]
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	46. Conjured up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lower. Lower. Much lower. Yeah...that's good. Really good."

It was hotter than he realized with the sun beating down directly on his body and sweat beading at his back, trapping in heat under his black shirt when normally this would be pleasant. The lounge chair creaked when he went onto his stomach, but he forgot the wounds along his torso that flared with a dull pain. It reminded him that he hadn't done such a good job fixing himself up. He switched to his side, resting his head on his arm and now felt the wind.

This angle allowed him to see beyond the railings, but the ocean continued seemingly endlessly. Water for miles and miles. The surface of the pool by their feet was blinding and he wished he still had his sunglasses. When or where he had lost them he had no idea.

Though he was undoubtedly tired, Shizuo was restless. It wasn't that he thought it still unsafe, that if he closed his eyes for too long they may miss whatever destination was their way, or that there could be boats following them, this restlessness was something he had no control over, it was there crawling along his bones, hidden and fractious, a monster in his veins.

Shizuo turned once more and when he stared out, next to him was Izaya, his even exhales soft in sleep. The dampness of his bangs from his shower had almost completely dried and were pushed back from the continuous breeze. He was at ease. With his bruises no longer so abysmal, he looked healthier, brighter. The sunlight on his skin made him look alive and flushed, any hotter and his skin would be complaining of sunburn if he didn't move.

Not wanting to disturb his sleep, Shizuo went looking for one of those large sun-blocking umbrellas. He had already found a walk-in storage shed for outdoor equipment, though at that time he'd only peered inside for a second. This time as he entered, he saw the harpoons and nets. The metal door bent before he realized it, and Shizuo's mood soured. Hooked on the wall were blue and white parasols, and stacked on a lower shelf were life jackets and inflatable rafts. All along one wall displayed fishing rods and gear.

It took a few attempts to find exactly where to fix the umbrella since he hadn't known to look at the wooden floor directly, but once he figured it out and had shade for Izaya, Shizuo couldn't remain sitting any longer. It was uncomfortable for his limbs and impossible to ignore the stagnant yet tense feeling. He hoped it would be possible to distract himself.

He returned to the shed that was stocked with everything that he could imagine he'd need for what he had in mind. He picked the sturdiest and simplest fishing rod. A wire fishing line was already ready, a fake purple lure in the shape of a fish was attached with thin streamers that hid the hook.

It was probably good enough, not that he could be completely sure considering it had been a long time since he had last fished. The few summers that his parents had taken him and Kasuka out of the city, before his strength had become an issue, came back to him. Shizuo had almost forgotten the memory of showing Kasuka how to cast, tie the hook, or move the line. He remembered the anticipation of catching something, the sweaty grip in his hand, the strain in his arms to keep still, and then the mind-numbing impatience after half an hour of nothing and turning to see Kasuka, silent and looking up at him as if he expected something, then presenting the fish he'd caught. He remembered getting annoyed and jumping into the river to play and turning up stones for any crayfish.

Shizuo watched the line where it met the water. This one was slightly different as it had weights and the line had sunk further than he could see. The boat was moving along at a steady pace, gliding, which didn't greatly disturb the water to an extent. He didn't know if that meant it would scare any fish away. He waited for some time, first calmly then in agitation.

Shit. What was he doing?

Back then he didn't have the patience to fish. It didn't look like he grew so much to do it now either. So much for trying in the first place for something that was impossible. As if he could catch a fucking tuna.

Shizuo, with a long inhale, dropped the fishing rod into a rod holder on the side of the boat. He stepped back, paced, sat down on his chair. It was too hot to be standing in the sun. Next to him was a cooler that was somehow in operation and filled with water bottles and cans of beer. He downed most of a water bottle before pouring the rest over his head.

He shut the lid a bit harder than he meant to. Izaya's hand twitched at the noise, his face pulled before smoothing out. He didn't wake up.

Shizuo leaned back, keeping one foot on the lounge chair and the other off. Both his arms were loose by his sides. Since the shade was mostly on Izaya, the sunlight was hot on his left side, and Shizuo moved his chair closer into the shade. He was careful not to drag it along the deck.

He tried to close his eyes for an extended period and found it impossible. Without much to look at, he turned his head. He couldn't see the bandages that covered Izaya's wrist and palm. And no matter how often he treated it, it still got him thinking of what he'd done. He had been close to crushing that wrist like it was a street sign. But somehow he had stopped. Shit, if that had been him back in Ikebukuro before all of this, he probably wouldn't have stopped. He would have used any reason, any excuse, anything, and ended up killing him.

A sick dread—disgust eating him from the inside, had his jaw tight and his arms and legs strange as if the blood circulation was all wrong. "Shit, shit...ah, shit." He put his hand over his mouth and he had to force down a swallow because it was oddly dry and wet like he'd throw up any moment.

There was no doubt. Given good enough reason and he would have killed Izaya. There was always that part of him that was on the cusp of going too far. Not giving a shit while his anger thought for him. Being on the island only proved it.

Fuck, he needed to stop. Shizuo turned away and carelessly got his right arm trapped under him again, it stung where he'd been bitten and he sat up and got on his back.

The men that he threw out the boat, maybe he hadn't killed them directly, but he mangled them in ways that they would never be the same. And if they never were found or rescued in the ocean then that wasn't his problem. At least he had given them supplies, hadn't chained them, or put poison around their necks.

Fuck them. Fuck them for making him do that to them. They could float along the ocean for days and be blown over by a wave for all he cared. Let the sharks have a taste of them. Let them fight over the last remaining supplies. Let them kill each other to survive.

Shizuo grumbled and didn't feel at all consoled. Fuck, fuck, fuck, stop. Stop thinking. His mind had other ideas, cycling merrily along through the shit he didn't want to think about. Yeah, it was his fault. Yeah, he did what he needed to. So what? If it meant Izaya was alive because of what he'd done, then so be it. The alternative was worse. The alternative was inconceivable. He would have done much worse things to keep the alternative away.

The only other person he could go through such lengths for was his brother, and that was a laugh because Izaya was _nothing_ like his brother. How had Izaya managed to become that important? How could Shizuo care that much for someone that a week ago he hated with everything he had? He'd been neglecting thinking too hard about it. He just let it happen.

That hate which once consumed him on sight, practically screaming for his attention, had left subtlety out the back without saying a word. He couldn't pin the moment it had left, either, or what caused it to go. And while he would have expected there to be a roaring chasm where the hate once had been, an echo of something nasty and scathing, there wasn't and he didn't miss it.

But then...what _did_ he feel?

It was while he was thinking this through that a whistling noise cut through his thoughts and Shizuo turned toward the fishing rod with the line moving out of control. He shot out of his chair and grabbed the pole before it could be yanked out of the holder. The force had the pole bending, but Shizuo reeled it in as easy as if it were a jack-in-the-box, and out from the water popped a big fish.

"The hell...?" It was the ugliest fish he had ever seen with overlarge disks for eyes and a gaping mouth. It was bigger than he expected it to be. He brought it over the rail where it flopped in the air. Shizuo carefully took out the hook lodged in its mouth and held it firmly in his hands. It had to be roughly 140 centimeters at least.

He frowned as he wasn't quite sure what to do with it since he didn't think it was the right kind of fish. But the thought that maybe Izaya would like it still (he loved fish, right?) had him hauling it over by the tail and bringing it close to where Izaya was. "Hey, Izaya."

Izaya frowned at his name. "Hey! I caught you something."

Izaya, stirring awake, groaned, and seeing the fish head by his own head, leapt in his seat and scrambled back. He made the funniest noise Shizuo had ever heard from him. It wasn't exactly a screech, but it was close enough. "What _is_ that _?_ Get that _thing_ out of my face."

"Thing? It's a fish." The fish pathetically gaped and wiggled in his hand. With flat, wide eyes, it pleaded and that made it even more ugly, but no matter how it struggled, Shizuo had a firm grasp on the base of its tail.

"Yeah, I can see that since it's staring right at me. You caught one. Sheesh, of all the tuna species it _had_ to be the mebachi."

"So it is a tuna?" Shizuo brought it back and gave Izaya some room.

"Yes, a bigeye tuna." So Shizuo wasn't imagining that the fish did have oversized, vapid eyes. "Ah-ah, why am I not surprised to wake up to that?" Izaya mumbled.

Shizuo frowned. "You wanted this, right, to eat?" Izaya put a hand over his eyes and his shoulders shook. Soon he began to laugh. "What?"

"Shizu-chan," Izaya said with his hand still covering his face. "How were you thinking of eating that exactly?"

"I don't know. You cut it up into little pieces?"

He let down his hand and there was a slight grin on his face. "I was joking."

"Huh?"

"About the tuna." Izaya looked genuinely pleased as he continued though each time his gaze flickered to this fish, he frowned. "I can't believe you actually caught one. No, I can believe it. That makes it all the better. Can you just turn it around though? Its eyes might pop out if they bulge any further." Izaya made a face and turned his head. "Ugh."

"So you won't eat it?" The fish flopped side to side as if it could hear that it might just be on the menu.

"I want to, but it's not so easy preparing raw fish. I don't think even I could do it correctly." He looked over again and though he was obviously trying not to see the fish, he ended up seeing it all the same. "Look, normally when a tuna is caught, it's flash frozen—to keep it fresh and to kill parasites. And not only that, you'd have to bleed the tuna, which is messy business, lots of blood, and then it would need to be gutted properly. It's a lot of work, you know, and unless you worked as a sushi chef or a fisherman, you run the risk of getting it wrong. I appreciate the effort, really I do. Can't say anyone has ever caught a tuna for me before," Izaya grinned and Shizuo could tell he meant it to an extent, even if for some reason he was repulsed. "You really set the bar high, it's almost unfair."

The fish was getting tired as it floundered uselessly, and Shizuo looked down at the pathetic, ugly thing. He wasn't too surprised that Izaya didn't want it. It didn't look the least bit appetizing. But then again... "Well, I did get something out of it." He went over to the rail and tossed the tuna back into the ocean. Shizuo wiped his wet hands on his pants.

"Yeah, and what's that?"

"The face you made. Yeah, completely worth it. Admit it, you were scared shitless for a second."

"Was not." Izaya huffed. " And you'd be pretty surprised waking up to something that hideous."

"Hey, I woke up next to you this morning."

"Hah-hah." He said dryly but his lips quirked. "Though I probably deserved that."

"What, not going to say it?"

"Hmm?"

"I thought I was the hideous one?"

Izaya gave him a pointed look that went from his face then down and back up again. "Nah." He said with an easy shrug. "Though I will get back at you for that crude wake-up call." Izaya stretched languidly. His shirt rose and settled back down, leaving an inch bare and impossible to stop from noticing.

Not knowing what to say or where to look, Shizuo sat back in the seat.

"Well now that I'm awake, let's do something fun."

Shizuo frowned. How could a word that was meant to be good sound so awful? Oh, right. Izaya said it. The only thing dangerous about him now was the playful and elusive look in his eyes.

"When's the next chance you'll get to be on a private yacht?"

"Hopefully never," Shizuo muttered.

"My point exactly. We should do something to make it worth this one time. I don't want to lie down the entire time we're on a yacht. What a waste that would be. There must be something we could do." His face brightened as he thought of something. "Plus there's air conditioning inside. Shizu-chan, _air conditioning!_ Mmm, cool air. I bet you're missing that after a week, right?"

Shizuo enjoyed sunbathing, but Izaya did have a point about the air-con. He was about to point out that if they were inside then there was no way that they could spot land, but then he remembered there were windows inside.

"Come on, I'm burning out here." Izaya urged and was already getting up with a hand on the umbrella pole to steady himself.

Shizuo wordlessly followed. He had found a pair of flimsy striped slippers earlier in a closet, ones that were in likeness of the slippers the guy on the island had. It was good that he had because though he brushed aside any pieces of glass, he hadn't bothered with the blood. It stank, but the wind kept the worst of it away.

They stopped in the room with the giant monitor that miraculously had remained intact, though a lot of the other furniture hadn't been lucky. Tables and sofas were in different stages of destroyed. Some had lost legs, others had bullet holes, and frames were cracked. Izaya worked with the thermostat on the wall and soon delicious cool air blew from the vents. Shizuo upturned a leather couch and other pieces of furniture that were toppled over. Lodged in the wall were chairs and if he looked closely at the wooden walls, he could make out the imprints of blood.

"Ah-hah. There is a pool table you didn't break!" Shizuo turned away from the wall to Izaya who was leaning against a table in the back. "Ever play?"

He had, but he remembered being shit at it. Growing up, he'd also broken a few tables and those things didn't come cheap. Though most people let him go when he threatened them with the table. "A long time ago."

Behind the pool table, Izaya checked some of the shelves. "What's this? There are games here, shogi, chess, cards, poker chips...twister?" He held up a box with colorful circles. "Heh. It's opened too. What a bunch of idiots."

"Yeah, we're not doing any of that." More importantly, he didn't want to do anything that required thinking or sounded tedious.

Izaya examined the cue sticks propped along the wall and scrutinized them till he found what he liked and returned to the table. "So how about a short round?"

Of all the things Izaya could suggest, pool did seem pretty mild, though even if Izaya did look better than before, that didn't mean he was.

"I don't know. Shouldn't you be resting?"

"I feel much better. I've been resting _all_ day. Just one game then we can do what you want."

"Really? One game and then we do what I want?"

"Yes."

Shizuo frowned, not quite believing anything could ever be that simple with Izaya. "Can you even play with one hand?"

"You really asking me that?" Izaya grinned. "How about we play and see?" He knew that grin meant he'd be eating his own words. Fuck. Shizuo wouldn't be surprised if Izaya could play with his eyes closed.

Shizuo picked a random stick. The triangular rack that held the balls was already set up and he carefully lifted it from the table. "You wanna break the shot?" He asked just to be nice. There was that one time when he had broken the shot and then also broken the cue stick over a man for some comment he'd forgotten.

Izaya was getting his cue chalked up. Was he serious? "No, you can go ahead."

Shizuo took a deep breath. He aimed for the center and the cue ball struck hard and scattered the other solid and striped balls. It came to no surprise that nothing got knocked into any of the pockets. Some were close though. Shizuo straightened up.

"My turn." If Shizuo had so much as blinked, he would have missed the sudden movement, but he heard the sharp clack of the cue ball striking and rolling then a thud as a ball landed in a side pocket and rolled to where it would be collected. "Guess that means I'm solid and you're striped. Though," Izaya continued as he sidled up on the ledge, "something tells me we'll need a practice round. How about we take turns getting an object ball in till we're done? Then we can play."

He used the tip of the stick to scratch his calf. "A practice round isn't going to make much of a difference, but if it takes a practice round to show you that, then whatever." Shizuo stiffly leaned into the table and brought the tip of the stick shy of touching the cue ball.

"You're not going to hit anything in with that angle," Izaya remarked blandly. "Are you even aiming?"

"Who says I'm aiming for the ball?" Shizuo muttered and Izaya, with a short laugh, got more comfortable on the ledge.

"True, you never called the shot. But even if you aimed for me, I bet you'd miss."

"Yeah, well, I may accidentally hit you, so get your ass off the table."

Izaya grinned as he tilted his head and followed with his eyes the game in front of him. "I'll take my chances."

Shizuo tsked and decided on a yellow striped ball on his left. It was a clear shot and his best bet. He knew the moment that he made the shot that he hadn't put enough force into it. The ball made it close to the end pocket and in a dramatic letdown, stopped short. If Shizuo glared any harder, it was bound to roll the rest of the way in. Shit, if only. He'd be a champion at billiard sports then.

"That wasn't too bad actually, but your form is way off."

"Will you be giving commentary for each shot or will you let me concentrate?"

Izaya made a motion like he'd shut up and Shizuo returned to missing the next three shots until he was losing patience and the ball had mercy on him by going in.

"The last shot wasn't too bad." Izaya stepped down and moved around the table so that he was now in profile. "But your form is all over the place. And I think I see the problem. You're not low enough to the table. Here, watch me. You see number three, the red one?"

Shizuo did and nodded.

White shirt pooling under him and one arm out in front, Izaya continued to bend forward and align the cue. "Obviously this wouldn't be how I used my other hand, but you get the point." The bandaged arm was laid out on the table and the slight pressure of the stick over the bandages didn't seem to be too much of a bother. Izaya lifted the stick. "Come around to the other side."

"It's not going to make a difference even if you show me." But he moved anyway, going around the table so that he could get this over with. Now that he was on the other side, he saw Izaya's footing better and how he displaced his weight. Shizuo was no expert, and maybe he never paid attention to these things, but looking didn't seem like the best idea now.

"You're watching, right?" Izaya turned his head to check.

"Yeah..." He was, except it probably wasn't where he was _supposed_ to be watching. With black shorts that loose and low on narrow hips, they looked like they'd drop any moment. _And_ he was bent over.

"Okay. Your grasp can't be too tight. And it's best to pull back like this." Izaya's arm moved back then forward, the cue stick glided forward and stopped short. He did the motion a few times more, which distracted Shizuo for other reasons— _not what he should be thinking about—_ and struck the cue ball. Unsurprisingly, it went in and Izaya _finally_ straightened up. "Knowing the correct form is the easy part. The rest is skill and your basic knowledge of physics and geometry. You were paying attention in class, right?"

He was having trouble paying attention now. "What do you think?"

"I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. Need me to demonstrate for you again?"

"I'll do it," Shizuo said a little too forcefully. He tried to stand the way Izaya had with his left foot in front and his knees slightly bent. He bent down.

"Lower. Lower. Much lower. Yeah...that's good. Really good."

He halted. He had to stop from looking over at Izaya and instead took aim. A striped purple ball and the cue ball went in.

"Ahh, a scratch, but it was much better."

When Izaya leaned forward for his own turn, maybe Shizuo was imagining it, but his next shot seemed less fluid like there was a slow deliberateness to his movements that would be hard to catch unless he hadn't been watching so intently. Izaya was leaning his weight on the table in an obvious show of strain. The ball went in, but he didn't get all the way up as he gathered himself onto his elbows on the raised edge of the table.

"Had enough?" Shizuo asked and observed Izaya's face for any sign that something was wrong.

Only the weight of fatigue and that grin that held too much interest was ever apparent. "No. I'm just warming up."

Shizuo frowned but he didn't want to push it. This was Izaya after all. He thought of triangles and angles for his next shot, though none of that helped him any and nothing went in.

"Shizu-chan, you need to get in there, _lower_. You need to be almost parallel to the table."

He already was! Shizuo was pretty sure Izaya hadn't been this bent over on his turn. "Would you shut up? I'm trying to concentrate!" Shizuo snapped. He took aim once more and leaned further in, chin nearly touching the cue stick.

"I love how you concentrate on those balls." Shizuo hit the ball with so much force that the stick cracked, the striped blue ball he was aiming for crashed into the ceiling, and the cue ball somehow ended up in the edge of the table. A Fucking hand's width distance from where Izaya was still leaning against.

" _Izaya!"_

But Izaya was too busy sniggering to listen. "Shizu-chan, it's not much of a game if you can't even get one in the hole."

Didn't he get it? Just how close that'd been?

"You want one to go in, is that it? Then fine!" He grabbed the table and lifted it slowly in warning. Izaya immediately jumped back. All the balls rolled down and entered the pockets. "How's that?" When he dropped the table back to the floor, one of the legs snapped and it tottered on its side.

"I'm pretty sure the eight ball didn't go in last. But hey, close enough. We'll just do something else you don't need any practice for."

Shizuo was still pretty pissed that he'd almost hit Izaya. "No more."

"Oh, come on. What's wrong now? I promise I'll keep my thoughts to myself this time. No surprises." The only thing missing from that sentence was the rolled eyes.

"That's not the point. I told you to get off the table. I told you, you might get accidentally hit by something."

Izaya shrugged. "So? I was watching and it wouldn't have hit me."

The ball from the ceiling fell and smacked against the broken table before rolling down into a side pocket and disappearing.

Shizuo tried to calm down, he spoke calmer than what he felt. "If you can't even stand, then you're in no condition to be playing around."

"I can stand just fine. When has a game of darts ever hurt anyone?"

"You're kidding. Darts?" Shizuo could already see the disaster that would become. "I thought you said I got to pick what we did next."

"Yes. _After_ we played a game, which we never finished." A dartboard was fixed to the wall and Izaya walked over and pulled a dart sticking from it. He twirled it between his fingers. "It'll be like old times, except we'll be aiming for a board. Nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Plus you have the advantage here."

"As if." The broken table was still annoying him so he pushed it to the wall.

"I'm playing with my right hand, so you may just win."

"So?"

"Shizu-chan," he sighed in exasperation. "I'm left-handed."

 _What?_ He turned away from the window so fast it felt like a blood vessel burst. "Huh? Since when were you left-handed?"

"Since I was born."

But that couldn't be right. He tried to remember if this was true. After chasing Izaya for years and going to the same high school, Shizuo hadn't paid that close enough attention or had never cared for the details. Did he really not notice this entire time? Shit, he could have crushed his hand completely. He looked at Izaya's left hand that was covered in bandages. Fuck, what was wrong with him? What if he broke his wrist and it was never the same? What if he could never use it again?

"Shit." Shizuo hadn't known and it felt like a big deal. It somehow made him feel worse. "Look, I'm sorry about what I did, before."

"—It's fine," Izaya spoke over him and brushed it aside. "It's nothing I can't handle."

But it wasn't fine because he still felt like shit about it. "But I made it worse."

Izaya sighed and he looked up from the dart he was spinning in his hand. "I bet I can win."

"Hah?"

Izaya's eyes were gauging him as if to anticipate his next move. It was so very familiar. "I can beat you still. That way you don't have to feel so bad. Because the truth is I'm already over it. I've already gone over the possibility that my hand won't be the same and it's a small price to pay for my life. I'm not at all upset." There was that crafty grin, a remnant of what and who Izaya would always be. "And you know, I'm pretty sure that I've done a lot worse things to you in the past, so you really don't have to be sorry for anything."

He tsked. "Yeah, how could I forget?" Shizuo could recall some rather bad memories caused by the person in front of him, in exact detail too, but the anger and hate were no longer there in those memories. Maybe that's what Izaya meant. "Give me one of those, would you? Who says I can't beat you."

Izaya's expression turned pleased and he handed the darts over. "Let's make this interesting then. We'll start from the middle of the room and each time you hit the bullseye you take a step back."

The metal in his hand was smooth, the grip was good. This would be easy. "Perfect. I'm better at long distance anyway."

Shizuo had to kick over a sofa that was in his way. The room was quite large, the span of two classrooms. He could barely see the red dot of the board from where he was standing. Izaya moved out of the way and sat in a chair.

He pulled back his arm and threw the dart fast and hard. It hit the wall with a crack, about a meter away from the target. He shifted his legs to get in a more comfortable position. The next dart nearly hit the board. He was getting a better feel for the weight of the dart and how to throw it.

The third dart hit the top corner inside the circle. If he just angled his hand a bit, he would surely hit the bullseye. It was the sixth shot that he got it in. He took a step back, missed once more by centimeters, but the next one hit the center and once again he stepped back. Of the remaining three, all hit the board but only one more was a direct hit.

"Not bad," Izaya said and went over and attempted to take out the darts. "Wow. You went through the board." Shizuo marked his place with a broken chair leg and went over to pull the pieces out.

"So that's three," Izaya said. "Maybe I should let you go another round to even the score."

Shizuo frowned. "How about you just go?"

"Alright, but remember that I did give you a chance." He went over to the same spot and put the other darts in his pocket before holding one. When he looked at it, he frowned. "Shizu-chan, you bent these!"

"That's your fault for letting me go first." He got clear out of the way.

"Don't tell me you did it on purpose just so you could win."

"Who am I, you? Of course I wouldn't do that. Just throw it already."

"Sheesh." The first dart smacked against the board just shy of the bullseye.

"Nope, didn't get it."

"Yeah, I can see that." The next one was even more off, though it hit the board and was close to the middle. The third one hit the center and Izaya stepped back. The next two were both only a centimeter off and Shizuo was beginning to think he actually had a chance at winning.

Except the next two darts hit the bullseye perfectly and then they were tied. Of his remaining three throws, one more got in while the other two just missed.

"Now we go to the bonus round. Clear the board for me please."

Shizuo stopped leaning against the wall and retrieved all the darts from the board. Izaya was at the back of the other side of the room and Shizuo saw the knife in his hand a moment before he flung it. Shizuo wasn't in the way, and after years of dodging knives, he knew this one wasn't close enough to him, but still, a warning would have been appreciated.

"Hey, watch it!"

The knife was indeed in the center of the board. Shizuo pulled it out and it took a little time to figure out how to close it.

"Your turn. Pick anything to throw from the back of the room."

"The hell kind of bonus round is this?" Shizuo grumbled as he picked up a stool.

"Sudden death. If you miss you lose."

Shizuo got to the end of the wall next to Izaya and gave him back the knife. "I guess that means," he began as he lifted the metal stool. "That if I break it—" The dartboard never stood a chance. He let the stool loose and it completely smashed the dartboard while also forcing the stool into the wall. "I win."

Izaya shook his head and slipped the knife back into his shorts. "I guess that's the _only_ way you can win. With your special brand of logic. Okay now that we've played one game, what do you want to do next?"

He surveyed the room. Besides the board games, none of which held any interest to him, the monitor was the only thing left. Zoning out in front of a big screen didn't seem that bad. "Maybe there's something worth watching," he said.

The couch directly in front of the screen was made of a soft, beige leather. When he sat down, the smell of stale tobacco became stronger. There was a copper tinted ashtray set on the side table, buds of cigarettes and leftovers of cigars littered the tray.

If he looked around the area, he could probably find something to smoke. He hadn't been anxious to have one, but now at the possibility that he could, he suddenly needed to. He spotted a carton underneath the glass of the table. His fingers itched to reach over for them and to fill his lungs.

Except—he looked over at Izaya who was bringing over a water bottle and two bottles. The last time he had tried to smoke he lost control over himself. And though he knew he himself was better, if Izaya had nearly drowned, it probably wasn't good for him.

Shizuo pushed the table to the side so it wouldn't be in his sight. A remote was resting on an overstuffed throw pillow and Shizuo grabbed it. The screen blipped and a blue menu with icons on the left side appeared.

He picked the icon of the movie and it was annoying that most of them were in different languages.

Izaya sat down next to him and passed him a glass.

"Anything good?"

"Hell if I know." It was all alphabetical, and Shizuo had trouble reading the names.

"Didn't your brother make that new movie recently? I saw a poster for it and he was, if I'm not mistaken, riding a dragon?"

"Yeah. Though it just came out in theaters so I doubt they have it." Then again, these people had ways to do those illegal things. The film was called _Ice Wings_ , and Shizuo scrolled down towards the movies that began with the letter I.

He paused though when he saw something in Japanese. The remote nearly cracked in his hand. He couldn't scroll down fast enough because he was individually clicking down. Any harder that he pressed the button, the remote would surely crack. Fucking hell, not this shit again.

[Honey Python and the Knights of Cum-alot]  
[Honey Python and the Big Bang Theory]  
[Honey Python and the Desperate Housewives and their even more Desperate Husbands]  
[Honey Python, the Local "Gynecologist"]  
[Naked and Afraid, Island Adventure: " _I Already Lost My Pants."]_  
[An Interview with Honey Python: " _It's none of your fucking business!"]_

Holy fuck there were a million titles.

"Wow," Izaya said, though whether he was actually impressed was another matter entirely.

[Honey Python; First Encounters Limited Collector's Edition]  
[Honey Python at the Farm: Cocks Everywhere]  
[Honey Python Halloween Frightfest: " _I only go naked."]_  
[Honey Python Playing as Abraham Lincoln in 'Abraham Lincoln: Vampire _Slayer']_  
[Honey Python, How to Win: It's All In The Hips]  
[Honey Python: " _Someone's gonna get their dick hole smashed."]_

"We could make it a drinking game. Every time someone cums you take a shot." Izaya poured himself a glass of water.

"What the hell? No! That's disgusting."

"Or anytime you make a face or curse we take a shot."

"No. We're not watching this shit _and_ we're not drinking."

"Haha, true. Who knows what we'll see."

Fuck, and there were still more titles? Shizuo clicked the down button as rapidly as he could to get through the rest. He tried not to read any, really he did, but they weren't moving fast enough out of his glaring sight.

[Honey Python and 50 Shades of Can You Fucking Not]  
[Honey Python, Math Genius?]  
[Honey Python does his Taxes again, IRS _Stops_ By]  
[Honey Python Re-populates Mars]   
[Honey Python and the Lord of the Cock Rings; nine-hour trilogy set, now including The Fellowship of the Cock Ring, The Two Cock Towers, and The Return of the Cock King!]

It was at this point that the remote cracked in half, setting off one movie to be selected and begin to play.

"Why'd you press on one of them?"

"I didn't mean to."

"Ugh. Turn it off."

"I can't, the remote broke!"

Just as his detestable double appeared in some kind of tacky spacesuit with some kind of planet in the background, the title [Honey Python and the Probing] flashed across the screen and Shizuo had enough. He rose from his seat, went over to the monitor, ripped it from the wall, and dropped the screen to the floor.

He fell back into his seat and a moment of shared silence passed. When Shizuo stopped gripping the armrest so hard, he said, "I was kind of hoping it wasn't real. Y'know, like it was somehow made up."

"Yeah, no kidding. Though...," Izaya was obviously holding in a laugh and Shizuo, on instinct, frowned. "You gotta admit it was pretty funny when you came back after jerking off and your head was bleeding."

"Uhh, don't remind me. That wasn't funny at all."

Izaya still was holding back his laughter but it wasn't derisive, and for that Shizuo could only watch without getting annoyed. "Looking back it is. Say, what did you do to get a busted head, anyway?"

Warmth spread over his face and he looked away. "That's...not any of your business," he muttered. If he said anything more, Izaya would never let him forget it.

"Ahh, that's no fun. I'm sure it'll make a good laugh."

"Maybe for you."

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean?"

Shit, that came out wrong. Way to go there. "It doesn't mean nothing. It's nothing. I just jerked off, and a tree," he frowned, not really sure how he could blame a tree. "Uh, there was a low branch that I didn't see and I walked into it."

"Heh. Was that it? You seem pretty uptight for something that was nothing."

Shizuo's eyes shifted and he wisely looked away.

"Then how about I tell you something you don't know?"

Shizuo would almost rather play pool again. With the broken table. "I don't want to know."

"Nonsense, you'll love it. Remember that time you threw that shark at Jakow and afterwards I wrote a message in the sand?"

Shizuo groaned and Izaya took it as encouragement.

"I wrote, Shizu-chan bites harder," Izaya began and had that glint in his eyes. That glint that was every bit challenging as it was amused. "And—"

"—All right! I get the point."

Izaya grinned and leaned into the back of the couch. "Well, what about this. On that first night, you know, on the mountaintop and I was on watch. You remember that?"

"Yeah...what?" Oh, jeez, what did he do?

"Actually I fell asleep. The entire time I was supposed to be on watch."

"Hah. I thought as much."

"Yeah. But it was pretty funny at the time." Izaya grinned wider. "What a load off my chest! I feel so much lighter."

Shizuo rubbed his arm and picked off a scab. "You have an awful sense of humor."

"Maybe. And you didn't find anything funny on the island? Because you know I have an entire list."

"An entire list? How could you possibly have an entire list? Nothing was funny, you ass." He kicked off his slippers and stretched his legs. He was beginning to feel restless again. He didn't want to think about it.

"Then let me remind you. Did you forget about that time you picked all of those oh-so-fascinating nuts and ate four coconuts that ended up being aphrodisiacs? You got to admit, that was hilarious. Or that time we went into the death trap building with the chainsaw guy? And you kicked me...No? Not doing it for you? Then remember when you hit Jakow out of the water and his pants and underwear flew off?" This time he paused and looked expectantly back at him.

"...I remember but I wish I could un-remember."

"Well, I swear I saw a fragment of a rainbow for just a second. Did you see that too?"

"Seriously?" How was any of that funny? "Well, I do remember one thing that was fucking hilarious. Yeah, when you got poisoned. You didn't see that coming, now did you?"

"Oh really." Izaya grinned. "And you say I have an awful sense of humor?"

Shizuo turned in the seat, one leg up so that he was facing him fully. "Then how about this? Remember when I found out you were ticklish and I almost threw you into the ocean?" He didn't miss the way Izaya straightened up hearing that and slipped his hands to his lap. "Yeah, now that was funny. Or how about that time you dropped the soap in the shower." Right after he said that he realized that he probably shouldn't have and he shut his mouth.

Izaya made a noise, close to a startled scoff, but then he smiled a little too sweetly, and Shizuo wondered how much trouble that meant. "Well... _someone_ sure took their time getting in there, didn't they?"

"That– that wasn't. It's not at all what you're thinking."

"Oh, it isn't?"

"Yeah..." Instead of answering he tried to avoid the question entirely. "You know that first day? When you made Willy-san, that was maybe a little funny."

"So you did like Willy-san, hmm." He tilted his head and his bangs lowered to a corner of his eye. "Then too bad you popped him, considering he was your first boyfriend after all."

Shizuo shook his head, only part in annoyance. "I'd almost forgotten that. Thanks a lot for reminding me."

"Okay, okay, then this time for real. Remember in the cave?" Izaya paused, his eyes dropped to his hands before returning to his own. "Last night." At the corner of his mouth, partly over where a dark line bisected his bottom lip, he took it lightly between his teeth.

Izaya must have been waiting for a response, but Shizuo was only half listening. Last night a lot had happened, mostly bad, but there was an impression of tenderness in that darkness, stark and vivid.

"Hey." Izaya continued, unprompted. "Remember that time we had sex in the cave?"

"Yeah." Then the words caught up with him. "Wait, _what!?"_

"Shizu-chan, you forgot?" He narrowed his eyes. Shizuo's widened.

"What are you talking about? That didn't happen. I don't remember _that_!"

"How convenient for you to forget," Izaya pursed his lips. "Does during the middle of the night the coconut bursting ring any bells? You got in a trance and you... don't remember at all?"

"Woah woah woah, slow down. What?" He was gripping the back of the chair a little too hard and had to let go. 

"I just told you," he made to move his hands but stopped. "In the middle of the night, the coconut burst open and got everywhere. You must have kicked it open on accident, or gotten hungry, or maybe it just cracked, but then you woke me up by... _yeah_ , and I thought you were awake, but you were actually asleep. Funny, right?"

Shit, he vaguely remebered having a dream about Izaya that night, or at least he thought he did. He tried to recall the dream, but came up blank. That couldn't have been real, right?

Ah, there it was: that subtle glint. Shizuo shook his head and turned away. He should be pissed off, but holy shit Izaya had almost gotten him. The laughter surprised him because he didn't expect it at all.

"You shithead."

Izaya joined in snickering. "It almost worked. I told you I'd get you back for earlier."

"Nah." Shizuo leaned further into the couch, confident as if he hadn't been affected at all. "I didn't believe you for a second."

"You're saying that now, but you did, didn't you?"

"Not at all. And for the record, you're the worst."

"I've been told that." Izaya shrugged. "It's practically a compliment at this point."

"You really are the worst."

"And you're the sweetest, thank you."

Shizuo shifted on the couch till he felt the warmth of Izaya's side. "Ahh, the absolute worst," he took in a deep breath of stale, cigarette imbued air. It was familiar, a secondhand taste of home, and yet it should have been out of place. "Though," he continued, "you aren't that bad either."

A small smile, slow and disarming, appeared and Izaya didn't say anything, instead, he shook his head.

Shizuo let his arms loose to his side. The tension in them was for the moment gone, the restlessness prowling in his limbs mitigated. He found a nudge against his arm and he didn't have to look or think to take that hand. This was a type of peace he had never known.

It was growing dark when they returned to the deck, having finished eating a meal of vegetables, rice, and meat, that only needed to be heated up and spiced. They still had to figure out how to work the lights out here.

Shizuo put away the umbrella. The sunset was nearly over and the breeze came with the cool of night. "You sure you want to stay out here? There are comfortable mattresses."

It was too confined in the control room, with the single mattress taking nearly all the room. "Yeah. You can go inside if you want." Shizuo couldn't make out his exact expression in the dark, but Izaya didn't look too thrilled.

Izaya turned and went along the walls. "Ah, found it." A moment later the contours of the pool were illuminated blue and green. It lit up the entirety of the shallow depths and cast effulgent patterns over the floor that mimicked flowing water. It had an ethereal quality, a sense of misaligned reality. "It's not exactly what I had in mind..." His last word trailed and Izaya was regarding the pool, his face made pale and blank in the light.

"You're not thinking of swimming, right?" Shizuo asked, in a tone that said exactly what he thought of that. The response was immediate as Izaya forced his gaze away and stepped back in the same motion, then made his way purposely towards the chair next to him. It creaked as he sat and reclined.

He stared up into the sky as he spoke. "No, I've had enough excitement in the water for one day." The soft glow made patterns across his skin as if he were touched by water.

"For an entire lifetime," Shizuo said and Izaya made a noise of agreement.

A long span of silence later, Izaya said, "You haven't gotten a proper amount of sleep this entire time, right? I can keep watch."

"With your eyes closed? Sure."

Izaya moved into a more comfortable position so that he was now facing him. "That was only once or twice. It won't happen this time, I promise."

Though he believed him—well, he believed that he meant what he said though not necessarily that he could go through with it— it didn't change his mind. "I'm fine," Shizuo said. "Not really tired yet. How about I wake you up in an hour or two."

"I'm not really tired yet either, but tell me when you are." Izaya stretched fully. But what he said mustn't have been completely true because not a half hour later he had dozed off.

In order to keep his mind busy, Shizuo watched the ocean ahead, and anytime he felt tense, he stretched, and when that didn't work, he studied the soft glow around him which unfailingly strayed to Izaya though he didn't mean to.

Eventually, he stepped up to the railing.

There was no moon visible that night. The ocean held the illusion of being endless, the point where water and sky met was impossible to differentiate. There existed a sense of timelessness, floating yet moving as if in a vacuum, and it was enforced by the unchanging scenery.

It was alien and yet achingly familiar when the blinking of an airplane shifted over the night sky. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but in his growing anticipation, he went up to the control room to alter their course to chase the direction it headed. The blinking disappeared when he returned to the deck, and Shizuo was left with the sense of his own foolishness.

With growing disquiet, he began to walk the length of the deck. His eyes had passed over the same stretch of ocean. It wasn't anything noticeable at first. But in the distance, he was beginning to make out black figures cut out from the ocean. His first thought had been to turn the boat, but he paused, unsure of what he was seeing, and he continued to try to understand.

The closer they got, the more apparent it became. A foreign glow seemed to alter the atmosphere. Speckled light above mirrored that in the distance. The illusion of endless had broken with the unbelievable apparition of a slumbering city nestled in a mountainous and large island, and Shizuo called Izaya's name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus titles:
> 
> [Honey Python's Cooking Show: a beginner's guide to the perfect creampie]  
> [Honey Python, Fireman Edition: "A must have"]  
> [Pythons on a Plane]  
> [Honey Python at the Bazar: Dicks OUT]  
> [Honey Python at the Sperm Bank: Cum Everywhere]  
> [Honey Python at the Cat Petting Party: Kittens Everywhere]  
> [Honey Python: No Orgy Too Big]  
> [Honey Python and the return of the sadist: a Halloween special ]  
> [Honey Python, Father of Thousands?]  
> [Honey Python and the Thong Prince]  
> [Honey Python: Doppelgangbanger]  
> [Honey Python : Fistful of Doctors]  
> [Honey Python, Fully Glazed]
> 
> Honey Python contribution list: So most of these are from me and my SO (who is particularly good at this) the last three titles -at the end bonus section - are from the help of a good friend (I'll just call him L) The Lord of the Rings idea and the return of the sadist came from Kristy_Senju (who also inspired me to write more of these titles). Thank you for your ideas!
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Kanra_chan <3 Happy *Second* Honey Python's 4th of July Special!


	47. I see London, I see France

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo's hands halted at the edge of his shorts, drawing in more attention as thumbs slipped between the layers and began to draw the wet material down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possibly warning: depictions of drowning again...and reliving them.

Izaya first saw the waves skim over the white sand, barely visible and blurry through the camera lens, and then further where large rocks scattered throughout, jutting from both the sea and sand. Following the path of shifting shadows, he came across couples lit up by lanterns from a raised boardwalk and others who ate at a bar serving on the beach. The figures were hedged by candlelight and tiki torches. Izaya guided the lens. Though the camera was water damaged and severely cracked along the screen, the viewfinder was manually functioning to an extent.

Beyond that were tall buildings and trees similar to the ones they had so recently left. He adjusted the lens, trying to see further, but it was impossible to see beyond the fuzzy and obstructed view.

"It's a resort," Izaya said, cool and collected, and it was what he thought it was before he tried to have a better look with the camera. He passed over the camera so that Shizuo could have a look. They had already turned off the light from the pool after Shizuo had awakened. Now the yacht sat quietly at sea and merged with the surroundings, indistinguishable against the backdrop of the night. Whatever material was used for its construction ensured it. Izaya patted the cool, non-reflective metal of the railing before gripping it.

No warm welcome then. Good. It had been on his mind that the yacht could be tracked and intercepted, that someone would be waiting for their arrival before they even stepped foot on land because that would be the best time to finish 'cleaning up'. But that didn't appear to be the case.

And while he had always thought the ones pulling the strings had never left their own headquarters, one thing he was unsure on was how far their dealings went. If it extended to the neighboring islands, a price may already be up for their heads. Of course, that was only the worst scenario and not the most likely; right now those in charge would be trying to contain the situation and possibly be suspending the entire project, and as long as he and Shizuo were out of their radar and laid low, they would be in relative safety.

"So what do you want to do?" Shizuo asked as he let down the camera.

"We'll cover our tracks and try our luck here." Which meant they had to blend in better to not attract too much attention. He observed the obvious bandages over Shizuo's right bicep and the indoor slippers already dirty from tracking dried blood. He pushed away from the railing. "It might be better if you can find a long sleeve shirt and proper footwear. And while down there, open a few of the smaller windows, please. Then we're going to need something to make our way to the shore. You found the rafts before?"

"Yeah. I'll set one up." Giving their new destination one last hard look, Shizuo nodded and fixed his gaze for just a moment on him. His eyes may have been obscured by the dark, but still, Izaya had always known the single-minded intensity there. What he had never gotten to know before all of this were the other emotions besides his anger. He had never been good at understanding Shizuo's thoughts or reasons either, having dismissed them so readily, but he now knew better.

Shizuo turned for the outdoor storage room while Izaya took the stairs for the control room.

Maneuvering the yacht was still tricky, and it would be impossible to dock without drawing attention, but that didn't matter because Izaya wanted to remain far out in the sea. He circled back and away, his sights were for a darker area of the island where the rocks were more plentiful. When he saw the raft ready, Izaya stopped the boat completely. He deemed the distance to be far enough away from the island that the discovery of the yacht would hopefully not be anytime soon.

Izaya looked out through the window and took a deep breath. The headaches he'd been having had slowly gotten better, but right now as his mind conceived every small detail, every possible outcome, it began to hurt again. He rubbed where the pain was the worst as he went down the steps. He focused on what needed to be done.

It was his turn to change his clothes. Izaya knew that he would stick out more, looking battered. The motley contusions would draw stares, while his left arm that had been without proper treatment would raise questions. Plausible stories flitted through his thoughts as he went to the laundry room.

He had been preparing things on the side. Opening the dryer, his coat had long since been done, no longer warm when he pulled it out. The fur lining of his coat had regrettably matted and clumped, but he still pulled it on over the white shirt he wore. He hadn't bothered with the pants as the shorts were more suited for the climate, but he had cleaned his boxer briefs and socks and Izaya changed into them.

He had been planning to do this earlier and more, but he had become too tired. Earlier he had rifled through the things downstairs, searching for anything useful and finding money and bits and pieces of intelligence. Of what he planned to keep, he kept in the camera bag in clear bags. While passing the kitchens, he stopped and decided to grab some prepackaged food and water, then he went out to the deck where the raft had finished self-inflating.

The material was taut as he pressed it, and Izaya lifted the white raft and found the hard capsule it had once been contained in. There were pieces that could be added and slotted inside the raft, including lightweight, rigid panels for the floor, three slim foldable paddles, and a length of rope. A flap was folded up on one side that could be extended as a temporary roof. He heard Shizuo returning to the deck.

"Hey." Shizuo had found a long-sleeved shirt. It was of thin material, tight, and navy blue, and what could have passed as exercise wear. The thin layers of bandages showed only in slight ridges. He'd found sandals that were a little too big. All in all, it would pass nicely.

"Good. Then the only thing left we need to do is close all the doors here. Lock them if possible."

He frowned but didn't question it. There weren't that many doors and it took only a few minutes to walk across the length of the boat and back. "So what do you want to lock the doors for?" Shizuo asked once they were back on the deck.

"To decrease the chance of the furniture from escaping," he answered and to Shizuo's look of not understanding, he continued. "Because we'll be sinking the yacht. It's a shame to destroy it, but we can't risk anyone tracking it to us."

"All right. Anything else, or are we good?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Nope," Shizuo said. "This time you're forgetting something. Like hell we're leaving without you wearing this." He held out a life jacket and Izaya made a noise of indignation, but he couldn't refuse it either as Shizuo brought it closer and he allowed his arms to slide through. It was a tight squeeze with it fastened and the straps tightened.

"Where's yours?" Izaya asked, not wanting to be the only one.

"I'll be fine."

"Yeah, of course you will be," Izaya said, "but just in case you should have one too."

"Alright." Shizuo sighed. "Then I'll bring one along, and use it if I need to." He retrieved one from the storage room and tossed it into the raft. Then he picked up the rope and tied one end to the raft and the other end to the rail, tugging it hard just to be sure. Shizuo plopped the raft down and it smacked loudly against the surface. "Come on." He crouched by the railing.

It was more difficult with the padding of the life jacket between them and since he had to hold on himself, it put more strain on his legs and arm. Izaya instinctively held on tighter when Shizuo went over the railing. His inner thighs pressed tightly around Shizuo's waist, and an arm snaked over to his chest. While Shizuo climbed the length of the rope smoothly and quickly, it was beginning to hurt and Izaya propped up his left arm over Shizuo's shoulder and endured the dull pain in his arm. There was little room to breathe fully in the life jacket, and they stopped at to the surface of the water to pull in the raft that had drifted away. The last few seconds were the worst.

Once Shizuo touched the raft, Izaya carefully slid down and immediately sat, and after a few constricting breaths, he loosened the side straps before he felt any worse or lightheaded. The raft wobbled as Shizuo moved.

"You okay?" Shizuo asked.

"Yes, I'm fine." Izaya took in a few calming breaths. "It was longer than I thought it would take."

"It was only fifteen seconds."

"Fifteen seconds? It was much longer than that," Izaya shook his arm out. His head hurt more and there was a slight tremor in his limbs. "I think your sense of time is way off."

"So you want me to make a hole or something?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah, make sure it goes below the level of the water and that it's not too big."

Shizuo took a folded metal paddle and struck the boat with a crunch.

Before he could warn Shizuo of what he was about to do, he had already pulled the paddle free and was wrenching the metal apart, creating a fissure that went under the water. It was too deep and strong. The next moment water began pouring inwards. The raft drifted dangerously closer, threatening to be sucked in where the water was flowing.

"Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo took the paddle once more and this time pushed them away. Except the rope was still tied from the raft to the yacht. If his head hadn't been hurting, or if he had been concentrating, he would have told Shizuo explicitly what he wanted. He delved in his pocket and got his knife and cut the rope in three slashes. A sudden jerk had him lose his balance and he fell on his stomach and dropped his knife. Shizuo had begun to paddle away.

"Shit, sorry about that," Shizuo said as he continued to paddle.

Izaya straightened up. "It's fine." That had been close. Way too close. His head hurt, throbbing with each loud heartbeat, but now that there was some growing distance between them and the yacht, Izaya let himself lean into the ledge, completely exhausted.

His eyes widened. There was the unmistakable sound of air escaping and Izaya saw the nick in the raft from when he had fallen and the knife, the culprit, was next to the cut. "There's a hole in the raft."

"What?!"

"Shizuo...please tell me there's another raft on the yacht."

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know!"

"I wasn't counting them, all right? Maybe there is,  _shit_."

The raft rocked as Shizuo jumped out of it and began to swim back for the yacht. Already the sides of the raft had begun to depress. All of a sudden, Izaya was very glad Shizuo made him wear a life jacket, even if this was mostly Shizuo's fault. He pressed a hand over the slit in the raft. Air escaped between his fingers. He tried to pinch the ends together, but it was impossible. He looked over his shoulder where Shizuo was swimming and nearing the yacht.

He didn't want to be in the ocean again. The raft tilted and sagged as if with a slow, continuous exhale. Izaya grabbed the knife, put it in his pocket, and went to the other end of the raft that held more air. It didn't help so much. His own weight was forcing it below the surface and the life jacket was once again too tight, too constricting; his breathing was shallow and quick.

_Not now. Not now. Not now. Please, not now._

Izaya struggled with the straps at his sides that refused to slacken. His fingers were slow and cumbersome and wet. A shock of cold trickled underneath him. He brought up his legs and clenched his eyes closed.

_Stay calm. It's only a bit of water. Nothing to worry about._

The raft was beginning to give way to the ocean as water pooled inside, making it more precarious by the second and caging around him. His clothes were wet down the front, heavy and terribly cold as it had been before. He grabbed onto the ledge and it sunk below his touch. He needed to get out of the raft now that the ocean was swallowing it down. He told himself it wasn't the same. There were no nets or weights to drag him down, no way for him to drown. No Shizuo either.

The edges of the raft were shapeless. Water freely passed inside and it rose around him. His legs seemed to lock up, unable to feel anything but water once more. A sick dizziness grew as he was unable to see anything but the black water in front of him. He forced his hand forward to reach and feel for something to hold on to.

He was going to sink again. He was convinced of it, life jacket or not.

Something brushed against his elbow, and Izaya jerked away until he blearily realized it was the life jacket that Shizuo had left and that was floating near him. Izaya desperately reached for it. He grabbed it, but the raft pushed further down and nothing but water was below him. A splash came to his right and a pop followed it. He was scrambling for a way to stay above the surface, but salty water met his neck and face. He had managed to get the second life jacket under him, and that alone had exhausted him completely. The life jacket he wore was riding up and pushing against his chest. There was little to do but stare with wide eyes at the nearly completely black ocean.

It took him a few seconds to hear his own name or to turn his head and see Shizuo swimming towards him with a new life raft that he tugged along by a rope.

Izaya didn't have to do anything as Shizuo came closer, reeling the raft the rest of the way and grabbing it one-handed before he reached for the thick padding. Izaya felt himself being lifted out of the water and tumbling into the raft. He remained in the same position as he had fallen in, with the second life jacket clutched in his weak grasp that he refused to give up. The raft dipped as another weight came on it.

Heavy and weary, Izaya's breathing was uneven and he couldn't seem to stop even though he was out of the water. He knew the pressure around his ribs couldn't be this bad, and yet, to him, it was there like a vise. He turned over so that Shizuo wouldn't be able to see him like this, overcome with tremors and struggling to breathe properly. The floor of the raft shifted as Shizuo neared. He didn't want Shizuo looking at him now. He didn't want him to know.

Words were failing him, he was drawing blanks on how he could brush this off. He cleared his throat, but he doubted that would be enough to sound normal. A hand touched his shoulder and he was no longer staring into the side of the raft but up at Shizuo's face.

"Hey."

He hadn't noticed how hard he was gripping the life jacket in his hand until he felt Shizuo's hand there.

"Izaya?"

"It's—"  _nothing. It's fine. It's only a little shock from the water._ "—hard to breathe." He settled on the truth. A small part of the truth because his chest hurt and shivered with each strained inhale.

Shizuo effortlessly undid the three clasps at his front. Immediately, he breathed in harshly, and he stayed like that for awhile until he finally let go of the life jacket and threw a wet arm over his eyes. He was too spent, caught up in the adrenaline and pain to feel any kind of relief.

They were unbearably close to the invisible finish line and for something so stupid and trivial, a mistake that could have easily been avoided, to almost thwart them, it was unbelievable and Izaya absolutely detested it and his own too human reactions.

A light touch at his forearm got his attention. It stopped by his elbow and Izaya didn't fight it as his arm was tipped back and left his face uncovered. He stubbornly kept his eyes closed.

"It's okay, I get it." The weight of his arm hadn't left. "I was scared too," Shizuo admitted.

Izaya looked now. In the dark, his eyes met Shizuo's. If only what he felt was something as simple as being scared, then he could laugh it off. This was more ingrained than a semblance of fear. He tried to pull off a bland look, but Shizuo, it seemed, saw through it at once.

"Not being able to find you underneath the water was the most terrifying moment in my life. Fuck. I really thought," Shizuo paused and his hand stilled and pulled away. Izaya felt the warmth through his wet bangs leave. "I really thought I lost you down there. Then when I found you I thought you had drowned. Shit, it's been happening over and over again, dammit, too many times. And it's because of me that it happens. Because I can't control myself and it terrifies me that I'll do something. I told you already it's too dangerous to be near me. What if next time's it and there is no over again?"

Izaya didn't want to do this now, it was hard enough to calm himself. But he forced himself to sit up and lean against the edge of the raft. The life jacket opened up on either side of him. So Shizuo was still thinking this. Well, there was no helping it. Izaya already knew Shizuo wasn't one to listen to reason or logic so readily so he needed certain things repeated until he got it. "Then we live or die by the choices we make. Isn't that one thing we learned from all of this?" He attempted a weak grin. "Not even I can predict everything." Izaya continued to grin because he had thought he had known what to do, and Shizuo had changed everything. The same still applied. "I can't pretend to know what happens when it comes to you." Even if there was no over again then that'd still better than wherever Shizuo's thoughts were taking him away. "But I won't blame you," Izaya continued, "for what you want to do, so how about you stop blaming yourself and give me a little credit where it's due."

"Credit for what?" There was still an edge to his voice, but his posture wasn't so closed off.

Izaya breathed out slowly and let himself lean back with his legs stretched out. Talking had distracted him enough to feel more like himself. "You already know best of all. It's going to take a lot to take me down, same as you. So you don't have to worry about hurting me and I don't believe you will either."

He'd said it before, and the truth hadn't changed. Hopefully, Shizuo would have to recognize it as the truth. Whatever further arguments that Shizuo had were abated, at least for now, and he seemed to empty them with loosened fists. "Thanks...I was supposed to be the one making sure you were okay."

Izaya shook his head. "Which you did. Sometimes going the other way around works too."

"Good, then can you wear the life jacket properly again? You're making me nervous just looking at you."

Izaya laughed breathlessly and without his usual vigor.

"I'm being serious."

"I know, I know. I'll wear it properly, give me a few more minutes." Izaya pushed one thickly padded side off from his arm and carefully did the same for the other side. "We should stick around to make sure the yacht sinks for real. Preferably at a distance this time."

Shizuo tsked. "Yeah."

A soft breeze brushed over them, but otherwise, the humidity kept the wet clothes from being too cold. If they were waiting, then he might as well try to wring his wet clothes. The material stuck to him. He unfastened the front of his coat and rolled his shoulders to help it slide down. Once both sides were at his elbows, he delicately peeled the coat off. His fingers were shaky and cold at the tips.

His shirt was tucked into his pants and he was about to pull it free to get it to unstick to him when he saw what he was wearing, or more precisely, what happened to his shirt. He was sporting the classic wet white T-shirt look, wet drapery at its finest. A second later, he recalled someone else who was wearing white.

With a sidelong glance, Izaya sought out the slight lighter shade of clothes. It was a little too far away and dark. Izaya slipped out the knife from his coat pocket.

"Hey, do you mind squeezing the water from my coat?"

Shizuo turned his head and lifted an arm. "Alright. Pass it over."

Izaya, instead, carefully slid and scooted the distance between them. "Don't twist too hard." He held out the coat carefully and grinned.

Already, from his peripherals, he saw the white pants that were wet, plastered to Shizuo's stretched out legs, and partially translucent. It was while Shizuo turned and wrung the coat over the water that Izaya really looked.

Ah. If only those pants were a  _tad_  bit thinner or if there was a bit more light, dammit, then he'd really have something to look at.

As Shizuo turned to face him once more, Izaya was already observing the sinking yacht with an impeccably bored expression.

"Anything else?"

Izaya blinked and for a second he wondered if he heard right, but Shizuo had lowered his eyes to the wet clothes stuck on him and Izaya did too as if noticing for the first time he was still wet. The white shirt certainly was more semi-transparent than the pants.

Wait...was this _actually_  working? "Yeah," he tasted the saltiness from his bottom lip. "Yeah, that might be good."

He started with a palm over his navel, fingers lightly pricking the material, sliding it up so it would untuck from under the waistband. It was something about timing that Izaya was going for. Make it slow and drawn out, but as if he did it because of his injuries. He brought up the material with elegant ease as if he always took off his shirt when wet, and since he only had one try to do this right, he discretely stretched and arched his back against the inflated ledge behind him. From the view of lowered lashes, it was hard to tell if Shizuo was paying attention. When the material was bunched up below his armpits, he acted as if he were stuck, reaching back overhead and less discreetly, again for good measure, he stretched fully.

_Not even you can be oblivious to this, right?—Right?_

Izaya finally pulled the shirt off a little breathlessly, and Shizuo was watching the yacht. Izaya dropped the shirt and dropped his arms. Was watching a boat sink really that more interesting? Than him? He looked down at his bare torso. Or was too skinny not all that attractive? He had lost some weight and his ribs were starting to show, especially when he stretched. Now he wished he hadn't gone ahead with the second or first stretch.

"Here." He picked up the white shirt and held it out. Shizuo didn't move, not at first. "Shizu-chan," he said, pointedly and tired of being ignored.

Shizuo shifted, nearly starting as if caught off guard. When he turned and reached for the shirt, their eyes met for a fleeting moment before Shizuo averted his gaze.

Izaya went back to scrutinizing Shizuo (well the front of his almost see-through pants) while Shizuo squeezed the life out of the shirt. It was almost as if Shizuo was embarrassed, and if it wasn't so dark, possibly blushing—that couldn't be wishful thinking, could it?

But anyway, he would soon find out. He got on his knees and slightly tugged his shorts and the boxer briefs lower on his hips then stopped. "I can't get the knot off," Izaya said as he tightened the knot and fruitlessly toyed with the tied drawstring holding up his shorts. "Hey, can you lend me a hand?" Shizuo was still squeezing that shirt, but he halted stiffly. "I think it's stuck."

"You don't have to do that," Shizuo muttered and faced him. The rolled up shirt dropped on top of his coat.

His hand stopped. "Do what?" He asked in feigned innocence.

"You know exactly what, and you don't need to do that to get my attention. Come here."

Because he couldn't see clearly, not Shizuo's exact expression, or be able to anticipate what would happen, Izaya hesitated. But he was too curious to pass this up. His knees lightly dragged over the tough fabric. Since Shizuo had yet to reposition his legs, Izaya didn't know where exactly to go, and he wasn't just going to climb over his legs or sit in his lap. He opted for the side. "Now what?"

The lightest graze slipped by his elbows and touched either side of his bare skin, and the imprint of hands trailed lower down his waist, the surprise of it making his muscles move in its wake. Shizuo's hands halted at the edge of his shorts, drawing in more attention as thumbs slipped between the layers and began to draw the wet material down.

Catching himself from a sudden unsteadiness, Izaya leaned forward and rested an arm on Shizuo's shoulder. The scattered drops of salt water moving down his skin and the cool breeze had him even more aware as Shizuo continued to undress him. While the shorts were loose, the tied drawstring wasn't as he had made sure of, and he felt each tug and slide press against his skin and threatening to take his boxer briefs along for the ride. Hell, he probably wouldn't mind it at this point.

This—well, he hadn't been expecting this. Or the sudden interest as the tight squeeze crossed over a more sensitive part of him. Any more of this and it'd be showing. He closed his eyes and tried regaining control over himself. Right as the edge of the shorts made it past his ass and he felt the slight indent of Shizuo's fingers there, Izaya shifted his hips forward and realized he was fucked.

"Ah." He moved back, unable to keep up his composure, and losing his balance because the traitorous shorts got in the way of his sudden retreat. He would have fallen back in an uncoordinated—and half hard—pile, if Shizuo hadn't already been close enough and ready to catch him, and it was no surprise that his hands just happened to be nearest to his ass because that was what he grabbed. Izaya still fell back, though it didn't hurt (except for his pride) and he remained still.

Shizuo had gotten up and was kneeling now. He'd moved his hands to his hips. "Sorry, was that too much?"

If Shizuo was looking down then maybe he could see for himself that it had been too much. Thank goodness it was dark and he still had his boxer briefs on... Izaya looked to check if he did in fact still have them on, and with a short exhale, he saw that he did though they were dangerously low.

"No, just lost my balance," Izaya said and tried to free his legs.

Shizuo noticed and lifted his legs for him, sliding the shorts off the remaining way before settling him down. He wrung the shorts over the ledge, squeezing the excess water out of them.

Izaya slid back a little to make some room and now that he was resting on his back and the evidence of what just happened was waning, he let himself be. The shorts were dropped on his other clothes, and he made no effort to retrieve them. "What, not going all the way?" Izaya said when Shizuo remained quiet and the raft only rocked by the soft waves.

Shizuo got closer and Izaya blinked more aware as a hand brushed over his forehead. "You're not too warm. That's good." Except Izaya did feel warm along his face and where Shizuo had touched him. "We can do your underwear too if you want."

"The funny thing is," Izaya began with a short chuckle. "I think you already squeezed the water out when you grabbed my ass."

"Hah, lucky you then," Shizuo said. "Now you going to put your clothes back on yourself or you going to make me do it?"

Izaya lifted his hand and caught the bundled up clothes Shizuo passed him.

"The yacht is definitely sinking," Shizuo said as Izaya tiredly sat up and put on his shirt. It was still damp, the material cool, but it was much better than it had been.

Izaya turned his head. Sometime during the span he had gotten down to his boxer briefs, they had missed most of the yacht going under. It had rolled over in the water and continued to sink at an angle.

But Izaya wasn't all that interested in the sinking vessel. As he shimmied into his shorts, he watched Shizuo. The lingering touch, the phantom fingers replaying in his own mind, kept him occupied.

What, he wondered, did he need to do to get Shizuo's attention if a striptease wasn't it? Then again, back home all he had to do was show up in Ikebukuro or for something bad to happen to get Shizuo's undivided attention, which certainly no longer helped him. For a man that appeared so simple, Shizuo was pretty difficult to figure out.

He left his coat out the longest until the yacht was completely consumed by the ocean. Only the agitated waves hinted at where it once was, but that too calmed.

With his coat in place and zipped up, Izaya slipped an arm through one side of the life jacket. He reached over for the other side and the clips were difficult to do single-handedly. Shizuo wordlessly kneeled next to him and fastened the three clips. He shook the padding just to be sure.

"It's okay?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah, it's good."

Shizuo continued to gauge if it that were true, but Izaya did feel better: the life jacket wasn't a noticeable pressure on him, he was exhausted, yes, but they were closer than they had ever been to finishing this and Shizuo was okay with touching him of his own volition, even if it was very lightly.

Shizuo then picked up a metal paddle. "Good," he said and moved to one end and sat. The raft lurched forward and Izaya grabbed onto the thick ledge. Though there was only one person rowing, Shizuo made up for it in power, each smooth movement pushed the raft forward steadily as he alternated sides.

The approaching segment of land was a side of the island that held more rocks and trees than sand. There were no buildings noticeable and for the most part, it looked dark without the haze of a city. It was peaceful with the soft lull of waves and swaying leaves. Shizuo maneuvered around boulders and found a wide enough space for the raft to fit through. The paddle struck sand before the raft slid up onto the shore. Shizuo stepped out into the soft rolling waves and quietly asked, "what do you want to do with the raft?"

"We'll find someplace to store it as it is." A boulder hosting what looked like shells had a flat enough surface. Izaya sat on it, dropped the life jacket to the sand, and watched their surroundings. He had packed a flashlight, but as he retrieved it, he found the metal and plastic wet. He wiped it on his shirt, unscrewed it, and tried to dry the batteries.

Shizuo had found space between two boulders and was fitting the raft snuggly inside, with just a part of it sticking out. He got the life jacket and pulled some ferns and large leaves scattered near the trees before concealing everything as best as he could.

It turned out the flashlight would not work. They stepped into the thick of foliage where there was no trodden path and already the air had a heavy, sweet scent from the trees and flowering plants. It was significantly darker and impossible to make out anything, only overhead was a different shade than their surroundings, but it was either that or scaling their way along a cliff side.

They moved slowly through the ferns and bushes. The trees were dispersed wide apart, but their roots made the ground uneven. His shoes squished with each step even though he had already emptied them of water while on the raft. The direction they headed towards gradually slanted upwards. It became a steep and uneven, beetling cliffside. A familiar noise came further off and headlights flashed briefly. A road was beyond this.

"This way then?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah." It was hard to tell, but the distance was about that of a two-story building.

Shizuo crouched. "Get on then."

The leaves crinkled as he stepped forward and felt with his hand first the span of his shoulder. The fabric there was damp and warm, and as he draped an arm over his shoulder and put his weight down on Shizuo's back, the warmth radiated through the thin layers between them. Izaya wrapped his legs around him in a way that wouldn't get in the way. Shizuo moved not with grace, but with sheer power. Each movement of his muscles was smooth and tireless, and Izaya felt it all along his front. Not being able to see clearly, Shizuo grabbed what he could and pulled them up.

It was probably more difficult for Izaya to hang on than for Shizuo to climb, and after the initial strain in his own sore muscles, he began to worry. His hold tightened, the cloth between his fingers twisted.

Shizuo seemed to get the hint as he moved quicker and grasped the ledge. In one motion he lifted up and swung over the guardrail onto the paved road. He reached back and held onto the back of his knees, carrying his full weight.

Izaya expected to be let down, but Shizuo didn't stop and just continued walking by the side of the road. "You can let me down now," Izaya said.

"I will just take it easy for now." He began to walk and propped up Izaya.

"But I can walk." Shizuo didn't change his brisk pace or respond. Izaya leaned further in and sighed. "Fine, but only for a little while."

At every sudden and sharp turn along the road, a lamppost was stationed. At the fifth light, the road serpentined at a decline. The further in they went, the more light pollution sent a haze in the midst of the night sky. Shizuo walked quickly, though he was careful not to jostle his steps.

It took some time later before the road evened out and widened. There were rustic homes with overgrown yards which turned nicer the further they went. Most of the houses were small and dark, but occasionally beyond the thick of curtains, light spilled through. It all looked normal in a foreign way.

One particular two-story building was set apart, with a gated yard and a lit up, flowering garden. A sign caught his attention with the words  _Oceanview Lodge_  sprawled in vermilion.

Izaya tapped Shizuo's shoulder. "Let me down." Once his feet touched the ground, a sharp sting went through his legs but it abated as he walked closer. Through the glass doors were more lights and someone was behind a counter. There was no sign indicating that it was closed or not, and as tried the knob, it opened.

The receptionist straightened up, but he didn't put down the book he was reading. He was young, possibly in his late teens and looked like he was of mixed race. The light behind him illuminated him in a full golden tone. A nameplate was clipped to his white shirt. Emmanuel, Izaya read.

" _Hello, do you speak English?_ " Izaya asked. Shizuo stepped in behind him.

Emmanuel rolled his eyes and then pointedly stared at the tip jar on the edge of the counter before returning to his book. The jar was nearly empty besides the few coins on the bottom.

From the camera bag slung around his back, Izaya fished out a sodden bill. He had found quite a lot of money in different currencies while going through the belongings on the yacht, and he still had his own wallet and the cash he had. He slipped one wet, orange-yellow bill into the jar.

Emmanuel snapped the book closed and smiled widely. " _How can I help you tonight? It's unfortunate that all the rooms are unavailable, but maybe there is something else I can assist you with."_ His English was smooth and warm, spoken in an accent that Izaya was able to understand.

" _Emmanuel, could you possibly call a taxi for us?"_ Izaya asked.

" _It_ is  _quite late to be calling for a taxi but you are lucky. I know just the right man for the job. Hold on a second, let me call him."_

Emmanuel pulled out a phone and Izaya looked around the lobby for details of where they were. He took a brochure from a table. The cover was a lagoon-like beach with hammocks. Main Islands, it advertised. Nothing closer to paradise: Mahé, Praslin, and La Digue.

Izaya slipped it into his coat as he heard a new language that he first thought was French, but as he listened closer, he thought it was more of a creolized form of French.

He paused on the phone, " _sorry he seems to be mad that I woke him up. He's asking how much."_

Izaya took out three more wet bills, now seeing that they were all 50 Euros.

Emmanuel talked on the phone and a moment later he hung up. " _He'll be here in ten minutes."_ He smiled and pointed to the plush chairs behind them against the wall. " _Feel free to take a seat. There's candy in the bowl too."_ He shook a bowl on the counter.

" _Thank you,"_ Izaya said, took a seat facing the window, and again began reading the brochure. Shizuo sat down across from him. He opened it and examined the map of a large island and surrounding islands, with popular sights, restaurants, and tourist destinations.

He got up and went over to Emmanuel who had returned to his book. " _We got lost on our way back,"_ Izaya said and put the map out on the desk. " _Could you point out where we are?"_

Emmanuel raised an eyebrow, and without barely a second glance, he flipped to another page to a different island on the map and pointed.

" _Thanks."_ Izaya returned to his seat and Shizuo stared at the cover of the brochure.

"So where are we?" He asked.

"Nothing closer to paradise."

"What?"

"An island of the Seychelles." Izaya showed him the map with the same words. Shizuo frowned as he tried to understand it before dismissing the map and turning over the pages to look at the beaches and colorful foods.

A car went over gravel before halting. The engine was a loud purr that could be heard from inside.

" _Here's your ride,"_ Emmanuel said and stood, but otherwise he didn't leave the vicinity of the desk.

The car was as old as it sounded and looked like it was in need of some serious repairs. Another young looking teen was waiting for him, in his pajamas and wearing a huge, easy smile. He was black and as tall as Shizuo though not as slim. The door was already opened for them. Even the seats looked like they needed to be replaced, but Izaya stepped forward and grinned back.

" _Thank you for picking us up on such short notice."_

" _Oh, it's nothing."_ He responded in English. " _I was having a terribly boring dream anyway. You did me a favor."_

Izaya got in the back and beckoned for Shizuo to follow, who looked suspiciously at the car that didn't look at all like a taxi then at the driver who didn't look like a taxi driver. "Shizu-chan."

Shizuo grumbled and got in the back as well.

"Aren't you too young to be driving?" Shizuo said in Japanese so of course, their driver couldn't understand.

" _Pardon?"_

" _He asked if you are really a taxi driver."_

He pretended to wince but chuckled all the same. " _Actually, I'm saving up for a new car. But any day you'll be seeing me with a Mercedes-Benz I guarantee it. So where do you need to go?"_

" _The best hospital on the island please,"_ Izaya said.

" _Well, the main hospital is towards the other side of the island..."_

Izaya took out a few more bills. " _Which I'm willing to pay you well for."_

" _Then I'm glad I filled her up yesterday."_ He started the car and smiled. " _Seat belts please_."

The ride was long and without traffic. It was impossible to see much out of the window except for the silhouette of palm trees, the illuminated hotels, and empty streets. By the time they turned from the road and stopped, the sky was beginning to lighten and the clothes he wore were completely dry. Izaya gave him more bills than even the most generous tourist. " _Thanks for the ride, keep the change_."

He looked surprised at all of the money and a little hesitant. " _You sure. That's more than enough."_

" _Yeah, have a good rest of the night."_

" _Here's a business card if you need any more help."_ From the dashboard of his car, he took out a piece of paper. Izaya read his name and nodded, already knowing he'd call him soon. He pocketed the paper before stepping out, and as the early morning birds began to waken, they entered the main doors of the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess what the rest of the title is? 100 points if you can~


	48. Picture Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What? Of course I'm wearing underwear, dumbass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It's been quite a while, but here is a super long chapter that hopefully makes up for that. I just had no energy or motivation for months. Ok, on to business.
> 
> The answer to last chapters title was: I see London, I see France, I see Shizu-chan's see-through pants. You all had really good answers, some really close, and I loved them all (better than mine to be honest) some of my favs:  
> kitchensinkandall, "i see london, i see france, i see the boner in your underpants"  
> blueberry137, "I see London, I see France, I see through your damn white pants" (Now featured on Izaya's new album "I Fucking Wish")  
> luvthe_gazette, "I see London, I see France, i see a dick in your ass" by Honey Python
> 
> And from voissane, here is some really awesome and lovely [fanart!!!!](http://voissane.tumblr.com/post/168075963971/ive-wanted-to-draw-for-spoontastis-a-cheap) Thank you! Was not expecting it!
> 
> Special thanks to my sister for telling me where I could improve and the hilarious feedback like, "why don't you end on a cliffhanger and never finish". And to KariHigada for hearing my thoughts out on the chapter and for all the suggestions like having the terrible vacation shirt and inspiring me to write about whipped cream on pizza.

The thing was, hospitals were one of his least favorite places. The waiting room's smell prickled at Shizuo's nose; the sterile air held an unpleasantness that he had never liked.

His wounds had been cleaned and it was lucky he didn't need sutures. Somehow, where the harpoons had struck him and the shark had bitten him, the marred skin was holding together, red and ugly, but otherwise healing.

Izaya though, they were being thorough with him. When it came to getting his scans and what not, Shizuo wasn't allowed. It wasn't till Izaya told him it'd be fine and that they were lucky today since the orthopedic doctor only came in the morning on certain days so they shouldn't blow this chance that Shizuo finally listened, reluctantly and without causing problems for the staff.

So now he was waiting for Izaya, stiffly in the chair with his feet having to consciously stop from bouncing. There were reasons why Shizuo stopped going to hospitals and it wasn't just because going to Shinra was easier on his wallet. There were too many bad memories. He'd spent a lot of his childhood on those hospital beds, itching to move, but held in casts. His thoughts had never gone anywhere good.

He looked at the clock frequently. Two and a half hours had passed since he first got in this chair. What the hell was taking so long? Shizuo knew he shouldn't have listened when they told him to get out, but there wasn't anything he could have done about it when Izaya needed the care.

Someone sneezed and blew their nose loudly. An old man with skinny, tanned legs kept picking at his skin. Dark fingernails paved white and red trails.

The need to move became too much. Shizuo stood and headed for the restroom to wash his face. The edge of unrest was beginning to show dark under his eyes. Hours had dragged on his mind worse than any hook. Should he get up and go looking for him? What if they were only making him wait here while Izaya was neglected or shipped off to those island bastards?

His hands balled up into fists. The sink under his hands creaked. It would be incredibly stupid if he got impatient, searched for Izaya, and got thrown out of here by security. Then he'd be in an even worse state than now.

Two hours more and a nurse came to get him, several times having to repeat a fake name before Shizuo remembered that Izaya hadn't given them their real names. By then the wood of the armchair had become like pulp under his hands. Shizuo wordlessly followed.

" _The effects of the anesthesia are still wearing off. But he's been cleared from the recovery room_."

Unable to understand all the words in English, Shizuo only nodded. She didn't sound apologetic so it couldn't have been bad. The room they entered was large and lined with curtained off beds. They went to the furthest one. Light from the window slanted over the thin blanket he was under. A tube went from under Izaya's nose to wrap behind his ears and converged over his chest. An IV was hooked at his forearm.

The nurse said a few more things while checking everything but Shizuo wasn't paying attention. He managed to mumble a thanks when she brought a fold-up chair for him before leaving.

The metal legs of the chair screeched as he dropped down onto it. He leaned forward in complete mind-numbing exhaustion. All of his worst worries had been for nothing it seemed. The relief let him think clearer. Of course Izaya would be okay; he was knocked out so it was unlikely for him to be making enemies so soon in the hospital.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya's voice was a touch slurred as if from waking. Heavy eyelids opened and blinked before appearing to see him. "You finally came."

"Well, yeah," Shizuo mumbled. "They had me in the waiting room."

"I was waiting all night."

Yeah, that was how long it felt like he was waiting. "No, you weren't. We got here this morning."

"That's weird," Izaya paused. His brows knit and his smile turned into a tiny frown. "Isn't it my birthday today?"

Shizuo looked around the room for answers. Was he high? Or had the doctors messed with his brain? "I don't have a clue what day it is. It's sometime in the late summer."

Izaya looked confused. He went to move his newly casted arm but stopped to stare down at it where it was resting in a sling. He pushed back the blankets to just about where his hospital gown ended. He picked at the hem, pulling it up from the bottom, and it was up his bare thighs when Shizuo reached over to stop him.

Not wanting to grab his arm, Shizuo touched the fabric, his fingers just grazing his thigh. "Shit, the hell you thinking?"

Izaya laughed. "So forward, Shizu-chan, already going for second base when we're in a hospital?"

"Says the one trying to flash himself." Shizuo tried to put the blanket back in place, but Izaya took his hand.

"And warm," Izaya murmured and further held his hand hostage to examine it. "You never came last time, so rude. I waited all night. You were supposed to visit, you know."

"Last time?" Shizuo asked, not at all following, while also trying to put the blanket back.

"You know," His words trailed off. He frowned and lowered their hands so that now it was resting at the side of his stomach. "It was all over Daioh TV. What? Do you live under a rock or something?" He then laughed and Shizuo had no idea why. "Oh, c'mon. I was stabbed. Don't you remember?"

"You were stabbed?"

"Yeah, it was in the news. I almost died. Turn on the TV if you don't believe me."

There wasn't a TV in the room, unless Izaya was seeing things too. Shizuo sighed. "I think you're confused. Maybe you should sleep or something."

Izaya blinked a few times. "I guess I'm seeing things. But you feel pretty real to me." There were soft caresses over his hand while Izaya stared across the room. "Can we get Russia Sushi after this? You promised."

Even high and Izaya brought up the weirdest things. "Yeah. Go to sleep, Izaya."

"Not tired. And you won't be here when I wake up."

"Say's who?" Shizuo said with a small frown, "I'm staying even if they try to kick me out."

Izaya and was now shoving the blanket away and Shizuo watched him wearily. "You won't last that long. How about we go now?"

"It's not open now."

He looked out the window. "But it's daytime."

"They ran out of all the tuna, so...they only have rice and ham, corn and, uh, mayo."

"Oh, that's too bad. I don't want their specials."

"So later."

"Yeah, a later date." Izaya nodded and a few more minutes of shifting on the bed and muttering things that made less and less sense, he dozed off. When It seemed like he was sleeping for real, Shizuo took back his hand. His brows twitched as if he were going to wake up, but he didn't.

Shizuo's hand was warm on his lap. Did Izaya really get stabbed before or was that the drugs talking? Shizuo made a mental note to ask him later. He was even more tired now than before. The warmth of the sun through the curtain was nice. He rested his eyes, but whenever he heard anyone approach, he made sure to watch them.

Shizuo didn't know how many hours blurred together, the only changes made were the intervals when he stretched his legs or the shifting light behind him. He must have had his eyes closed for too long because when he heard a click, metal against metal, he suddenly woke up without any recollection of having fallen asleep.

Izaya was getting back into bed. He'd retrieved his shorts but still wore the faded hospital gown. The awareness was evident in his eyes as they met.

Shizuo's muted confusion must have shown because Izaya grinned.

"I was hoping you'd wake up soon. It's boring just lying here." The color in his face was better than earlier. The tube under his nose was gone. Something crinkled. "Here, I got you this. You'd think they'd have healthier options in the vending machines, but it's all candy and sugary drinks. What message are they trying to send, really?" It was a chocolate bar that was passed over. Izaya had gotten himself animal shaped crackers.

"You okay?" He must have been staring because Izaya stopped trying to open the bag by himself.

"I mean my head feels stuffy, but yeah." He frowned as if catching on, eyes narrowing. "Why?"

"You were pretty out of it," Shizuo said. "Earlier."

"I don't remember." He then winced. "I didn't do anything, right?"

"Besides trying to take off all your clothes?" Izaya made a face that was pretty funny, a flicker of an unpleasant wince. "But I stopped you before you got anywhere." Shizuo then recalled one particular thing that he had thought odd. "Though you kept mentioning you got stabbed and that you were waiting for me. What was that about?"

Izaya closed his eyes for a few seconds. "It seems like I was keen on making a spectacle of myself. Is there any chance for you to forget what I may have said or done?"

"I don't know. Maybe if you tell me what it was then I won't have to think about it."

Izaya sighed. "If you had access to a computer you could figure it out yourself. Here, open this." It was the bag of animal crackers.

Shizuo, having not eaten anything the entire stay, now felt the hunger. He opened the bag, passed it over, then ripped the candy wrapper and took a bite of chocolate coated almonds and cookie.

"I was stabbed and went to the hospital." He said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah." The words were spoken between his munching. "I could have figured that out myself."

The tail was missing from the crocodile Izaya picked up. "You didn't know?"

"No." It was obvious that Izaya didn't quite believe that. He was about to ask why someone would stab him but that was a stupid question. "So who stabbed you?"

"I have many enemies, Shizu-chan."

"Yeah, but you're you so you know who it was."

Izaya grinned. "Perhaps. So what would you have done if you knew?"

"Probably given flowers to your stabber." Izaya hummed as if he thought as much. "Yeah, as if I'd waste the money. But I wouldn't have visited you. Not unless you gave me a reason to."

"I was in Ikebukuro. Wasn't that usually reason enough? You could have easily finished the job."

"Jeez. Can we talk about something else, please?"

"You're the one who asked." The cat he picked out of the bag had a missing leg. "Heh. I should have known better. You wouldn't have come let alone have tried to have killed me even if you knew."

Shizuo wasn't so sure about that and he didn't want to continue thinking about these things.

Izaya sighed. "If it makes you feel any better, you never once managed to put me in the hospital."

"You're in here now."

"Ah, but it is thanks to you that I'm getting help, and where would I be without, right?"

Another thing Shizuo didn't want to think about.

"Isn't the chair uncomfortable?" Izaya patted the bed he was on. "There's space here if you want to join me." Which was true since Izaya was a beanpole. If he scooted to the edge, there was more than enough room for another, but Shizuo didn't think the staff would appreciate it. They weren't the only ones in the room either. The constant snoring a few beds over was a good reminder.

"I'm fine."

"So you say. It's nearly four in the morning, you going to spend the rest of the night on that?"

It was more important that Izaya got proper rest, and Shizuo didn't want to break hospital rules and get them kicked out. They were already allowing him to stay when he was acting more like a waiting visitor rather than a patient. They probably just didn't know how to deal with him. "Another few hours isn't going to kill me."

Izaya shrugged and settled more comfortably on the pillow as if it was the most comfortable thing he'd slept on, and considering they had been sleeping on the ground and atop rocks, it wasn't hard to imagine.

Morning didn't come quickly enough. In the four hours that passed, Izaya had fallen asleep, a nurse came by and silently left after quietly checking on everyone in the room, a faint morning glow softened the curtains behind him, and then came the bustle of the hospital once more. A little after Izaya woke up, the same doctor evaluated him and though Shizuo was unable to understand everything, it seemed like they were both okay to go. That or Izaya said something to convince them to discharge them early.

With their visit paid in cash, the last forms sorted, and a new prescription picked up, they stepped outside.

"So what did the doctor say?" Shizuo asked. He slung the camera bag more comfortably on his shoulder. It was the only thing they had besides the small paper bag filled with medication.

"Nothing much. The orthopedic doctor wasn't here today, but it seems like they did what they could. I just need rest and to take some pills. Go back if anything happens." Shizuo didn't have time to say anything when Izaya continued. "We still have thirty minutes before Julien gets here."

"Who?"

"Remember our taxi driver the other night?"

Shizuo did, if you could call that kid a taxi driver. "Yeah?"

"I told him to meet us here at nine." When the hell had he managed that? "Oh, that looks nice." Across the road, tucked between a flower shop and a laundry mat, was a shop with a tiled terrace lined with metal tables and a wide window displaying baked goods. A sign read 'Best Bagels'. Izaya was already heading for it.

Shizuo was frowning the entire walk across the street. Through the lightly tinted window, it was obvious the shop was unnervingly busy with the morning rush.

Cognitively, he knew that they were regular people who only wanted to stuff their faces with mouthwatering baked goods, but that didn't mean he was prepared for so many people congested in one spot. If it came down to it, if someone so much as looked at them funny and reached into their coat or, hell, into a damn paper bag, Shizuo wouldn't hesitate. He'd send them through the window or the pretty dessert display. And once he started there was no telling when he'd stop or how far he'd go.

"It looks busy," Shizuo said thickly, and before Izaya got the chance to open the door, he smacked a palm against it, shutting it completely. The scent of freshly baked goods wafted in the air and cut off.

"It's fine." Izaya looked over his shoulder. "If you want to wait out here you can."

Except that was worse. "No."

"Then let's go in."

He hadn't dropped his hand, and he knew that it was stupid standing there and unable to say anything more.

" _Excuse me,"_ a dark-skinned woman in a yellow dress stood behind him. " _Are you going in?"_

What did she say?

" _Yes, we are,"_ Izaya responded in English.

This time the door opened with no resistance and the weight of Izaya's hand at his wrist led him further inside. Shizuo stared dumbly where Izaya so casually gripped him and then snapped out of it. He pulled his arm away to his side.

"Nothing is going to happen so long as we don't draw attention to ourselves," Izaya hissed.

Shizuo was about to argue back, maybe haul him out of here if he had to, but Izaya had a point. Drawing any unnecessary attention was the opposite of what he wanted.

Shizuo was tense the whole wait for their food. He picked it up on a tray when it was ready and there were a few free tables inside and a couple out. He placed the tray on the rickety table Izaya had chosen, the most secluded he could find. His croissants were in a clear plastic bag, six in total and each a different flavor. "Are these all mine?"

Izaya had a sesame bagel with cream cheese which he carefully unraveled from the paper wrapper one-handed. "Yeah, you can save it for later if it's too much."

Well, considering he hadn't eaten much the previous day, what he had now would only tide him over for a few hours.

The first croissant was sprinkled with thinly sliced almonds and glazed with a sugary frosting. It was warm and fluffy, sweet and fresh as if they were just made. It was so light, he must have eaten two in less than a minute. It also had him forget everyone besides Izaya in the small enclosed space.

He tried to slow down by taking a sip of the drink in front of him, but the rich taste of hot chocolate milk was short of piping which meant he was in danger of finishing that in five gulps.

Not able to hold himself back, Shizuo picked the buttered croissant next. But it didn't seem like it mattered too much how engrossed he was with his food because Izaya was just as much. That would explain the soft noise he heard across the table. Shizuo looked up from his croissant.

Izaya's expression was relaxed and clearly enjoying what he was eating. He did it again: a low, nearly undetectable moan. Shizuo glanced around to see if anyone had heard, but they were far from anyone else.

With his eyes now open, he grinned. "I didn't know bagels could taste so good."

Shizuo nodded. "These are really good too."

"Want some?" Izaya offered the half he hadn't touched yet. "It really is the best bagel I've ever had."

"You sure?"

"About it being the best? I wouldn't say it unless it were true. Here, try some."

Shizuo didn't think Izaya was lying if moments ago the bagel had been good enough to moan about, but that wasn't what Shizuo had meant. Though if Izaya wanted him to try it, then he figured a small bite wouldn't matter. A bit of cream cheese spilled over the sides as he broke a piece off.

"They also have interesting cream cheese flavors, like blueberry, tomato and basil, or shredded smoked salmon, and toppings like avocado, fresh fruits, or honey. I wouldn't be surprised if they had tuna too. It'd have to be cooked, of course. Ah, but that would be ruining it, right?"

Shizuo nodded his head, though he was only half listening. The bagel piece had been toasted and was indeed good with just the right amount of cream cheese.

"So do you like it?"

"Mhmm."

"See. It's good." Izaya took another bite and looked pleased.

Shizuo then tried to eat the rest of his croissant slower, but it was nearly impossible. The buttery layers were as light as air and he ate it as quick as an inhale. With only one more left, Shizuo made more effort to slow down. It was difficult though. This one was dipped in chocolate which made it extra delicious. The last bite he made sure to savor.

He wasn't exactly full, but he was satisfied, especially as he sipped the rest of his hot chocolate. Izaya took his time with his lidded drink, but there was no rush and his initial worry had pretty much disappeared. Shizuo took in the freshly baked smell of the shop. He cleared the table when Izaya was done.

A sweet smelling mist blew their way as they passed rows of bright and large flowers. "Still got a tiny bit of time. We can wait in the shade over there," Izaya said and headed for a bench. The people they passed on the sidewalk didn't spare them much of a glance, but Shizuo still watched their easy paced movements warily. Izaya watched the people too as they sat on the bench, but it was obvious it was out of curiosity and sometimes amusement.

Ten minutes later, a familiar shit-car came by. Surprisingly, it looked worse in the daylight with all the rust showing than it did at night.

"You call that a taxi?" Shizuo muttered. Izaya just smiled.

Julien stepped out. He no longer had pajamas but wore a white collared shirt and beige shorts. " _Good morning, Izaya right?_ " He stepped closer and smiled wide.

" _That's right. And Julien, this is Shizuo_."

He had been close to correcting Izaya out of habit, and Izaya grinned as if he knew.

" _Good morning, Shizuo_." He grouped the first syllable wrong.

" _Morning_." That was as much English as he was comfortable with so early in the morning.

Julien opened the door for them. The back of the car had seats that had been patched up with slabs of tape. Once Izaya was in, he shut the door carefully, but that didn't stop the awful creaking in the hinges. It did smell fresher this time or maybe he hadn't noticed the other night. A bulldog shaped air freshener hung under the rear mirror.

" _I found a really nice place. One of the best and more secluded hotels. I was even able to get a good deal. It's a little bit of a drive."_

" _Thank you, I'm sure it's great."_

Shizuo didn't bother listening to anymore and stared out the window. When they passed the more busy streets, hoards of tourists and locals were walking along. There were also school children in uniforms waiting for the bus. Gradually they left the main city roads and went on a highway that forced the car to work harder. Shizuo made sure to hold onto the rattling door because he didn't trust it not to fall off. After the highway, they went by windy roads that took them through a quaint town.

It was while they were along a secluded road overgrown with trees that Shizuo began to suspect that this was the kid's purpose all along. To get them far from civilization and then rob them or try to. Hell, he could be driving them to a drop off to be ambushed. Izaya didn't know who this kid was.

He looked over at Izaya who had been having an on and off conversation with the kid.

" _Only a few more minutes. This place even has its own private beach. And the view! I've heard the best about it. Many newlyweds come here. Maybe I should start saving for my own big celebration, huh? You can tell me how it looks from the inside. Oh, that's right! I almost forgot the most important thing. Here, I used the name you wanted."_

He passed over a slip of paper.

" _Great."_

" _Ah, I think I see it now."_

All at once the trees that had been blocking their view dispersed. What they were pulling into wasn't at all what Shizuo would consider a hotel and it was only now that he was beginning to grasp what a luxury resort was. They stopped next to a marble fountain with turtle statues and wave engravings. The main building had open walls, wide columns, and a high ceiling with a brilliant chandelier.

"Can you even afford this?" Shizuo whispered, even though he knew the kid couldn't understand them. A man at the counter openly stared as they stepped out of a car that looked like it belonged in a junkyard. Shizuo was almost reluctant to step out of the decrepit car where he felt more comfortable.

"Of course. Who do you think you're talking to?"

Julien waited outside while Izaya greeted the receptionist and took out the piece of paper and two cards and slid them forward. Shizuo waited by the entrance, half-expecting whatever the flea was trying to pull wouldn't work. Didn't they need passports or something? Apparently, it didn't matter as everything was processed and two key cards and a brochure were handed to Izaya. They went back out to where Julien was waiting by his car.

" _Everything looks good so far. You really did pick a nice place."_

Julien smiled at whatever Izaya said. " _Glad to be of service."_ Again Izaya paid him well by the looks of it. " _I'll be sure to find what you're looking for by tonight."_

" _Great, see you then, Julien."_

The kid waved as he got in his old vehicle and drove off with a plume of black exhaust trailing his way. Izaya had the brochure out and was ready to head for their room.

"Hey, what the hell is this?"

"Our stay. And before you ask, I didn't pick it, Julien did."

"The kid picked this?" Shizuo didn't bother withholding his disbelief.

"Yeah, why? What were you expecting?" There were paths leading to thatched roofed structures.

From the looks of the kid's car, not this. He frowned as they went on a path arranged with flowering bushes. "I don't know, a hut and a goat."

"Hah. Well, it's better than a hut. Julien called around for me and found a canceled reservation. He probably picked the most expensive thing he could find to impress me."

Shizuo continued to frown as they passed a few more exotic looking buildings before Izaya stopped at one. The card key fit in a slot, just like in a normal hotel room. Except this wasn't a normal hotel room at all. It was all open space, open walls with intricate wooden architecture, and cozy furniture perfect for lounging in. There was an unbelievable view of the ocean and a private pool on the sun deck. It positively reeked of money.

Fuck, he doubted a week's worth of salary would begin to cover something like this. Shizuo took off his sandals by the door and stepped onto the polished wooden flooring.

Izaya found a light and the room glowed with hanging lanterns. His entire apartment was literally the span from the door to the main entrance room. From there it opened to a kitchen and dining area and then further in was the lounge with a huge screen TV. An indoor jacuzzi was set in a corner where there were two more wall length windows with the view of the tops of palm trees and the ocean.

Shizuo set the camera bag down on a table. He sat in one of the many lounge chairs and couldn't help but think that he had stepped into a different universe or dimension as if this was a picture perfect paradise that he had no place being in. Izaya though walked around, checking any doors that opened as if this was his second home and not an alien universe.

He whistled, seeing the bathroom. "And I thought I had a nice setup."

Shizuo didn't say anything.

"Want to take a shower first, or can I?"

"Go ahead," he said, his voice somehow dry. He realized he would also need a shower since the last one he had was two days before on the boat.

He checked the refrigerator, an actual sized refrigerator and not a mini. It was stocked with water, alcohol, milk, fruit juices, and coconut water. Fucking coconut water. All of it was brand new too.

He poured himself some milk and took the drink with him on his way to the window. The private pool went right to the edge of the deck where there were no railings and it ended as if it were floating in space. There were deck chairs and more curtained off lounges.

Shizuo set down his glass and opened one of the bedrooms. He first saw the impeccably made bed with its puffed pillows and pressed blankets. The decor was driftwood mounted on the wall but the main focal point was the view of the ocean through the huge window.

The only other room was the second bedroom on the other side. It had the same setup with an enormous bed overlooking the beachside. He tried the bed. It must have been some kind of foam and cloud technology because it molded perfectly to him.

He stayed like that for some minutes till a ringing of a telephone blared unnervingly loud through the rooms. With unease, he got up, but it wasn't like anyone knew where they were unless they had somehow been followed. Shizuo stepped out and found where the noise was coming from on a table next to a couch.

The sounds of the shower turned off. Izaya yelled something that sounded like pick it up, so Shizuo reached for the phone and got it before the call could end. He listened first because he sure wasn't going to be saying anything in another language besides his own, but when he didn't hear anything he spoke. "Alright, who is it?"

There was a sharp inhale of breath and Shizuo was sure it sounded annoyed. "Oh, this is great." It was a woman's voice. "I should have known this would happen one day. Unbelievable. Where is Izaya?"

"Yeah, and who's asking?"

"His secretary." She spat it out with clear contempt. "Now, Heiwajima-san, how about you give the phone to Izaya. I know he's there. I've been trying to reach him for nearly two weeks and I'm not going to waste another second longer on this pointless search so you better get him now."

Shizuo grimaced. "He's in the shower."

"Then drag him  _out_ of the shower. I'm sure that won't be a problem for you." The implication wasn't lost on him.

The door opened and Izaya came out wet with a towel hastily wrapped around his waist and held in place by a hand.

" _Shit_ —oh, sorry he's, uh, coming now."

Shizuo didn't wait to hear a response from her as he stood and held out the phone, unable to bring it over when it was connected by line. But that was a stupid thing to do when Izaya's only hand was occupied holding a towel. He was at a loss for a second until Izaya crossed the distance and once he sat on the couch, he let go of the towel and picked up the phone.

"Ah, Namie, you called earlier than I expected. Were you perhaps worried about me?" The bruises that Shizuo could remember were less dark, and overall his complexion looked better. The towel over his hips shifted as he crossed his legs. Shizuo deliberated then took a few steps back.

"Worried?" Her voice was crisp and scathing. It traveled far enough for him to hear. Shizuo retreated even more. "You're kidding, right? When that man went missing too I should have suspected this. Enjoying the honeymoon?"

Shizuo frowned. Deciding that he'd rather not hear the rest of the conversation, he went to get another glass of milk.

"Oh, is that jealousy I hear?" Izaya snickered. "Is that what you think I've been up to? You know me better than that." He paused at whatever she said. "The imagination you have is amusing, really, but you're mistaken."

The second glass of milk helped some of his nerves. From here, Izaya's profile was visible as he suddenly flopped back on the couch. His voice was lower now, less playful.

Shizuo rinsed the cup and set it on the counter. He wiped his face and felt the fatigue. He was ready to shut down for awhile if he could. The lounge chairs looked comfortable enough and at least he could lie down in it.

The bathroom's decor was ocean-themed. It was lit up naturally from a full-length window. Shizuo tsked. It wasn't so much a bathroom if it was the size of his bedroom. The separate glass shower stall and a large shell shaped bathtub could easily fit multiple people and it was all a bit excessive. He stepped over the wet trail Izaya had left over the porcelain tiles.

Everything he expected to find in a hotel was placed on the white marble counter, but it all looked fancy and expensive. One toothbrush was already open and standing in a dish. Shizuo opened up a new toothbrush and brushed his teeth. There was a bit of steam on the too large mirror and he wiped it off with a hand.

He was nearly done when he heard a knock at the door. "You going to be long? I wasn't quite finished."

That was fast. Shizuo rinsed his mouth and wiped his hands on a hanging towel engraved with tortoises.

He opened the door, having not bothered locking it in the first place, and nearly knocked into Izaya since he opened it so fast. "Yeah, it's yours."

Izaya did look a tiny bit relieved by whatever he spoke about on the phone, except it was obvious he was also a bit irritated. "It's best to ignore whatever Namie-san says if she said anything to you. Her opinions are often obscured by her disdain for all that isn't her brother. It's what gives her a special charm."

Izaya had mentioned her once. "She cooks for you?"

"You remember that?" He grinned. Shizuo tried not to look at the towel at the side of his hip which seemed precariously low. "Well, if I bother her enough to, though by then I have to be wary what she'll do to it, like adding too much salt which means she's most definitely in a salty mood. Or if there's too much sugar then she's being particularly spiteful." Water dripped from his hair, trailing downwards. He'd get a cold if he stood out for any longer. "The best part is when I tell her it's delicious."

"Hmm. Can't blame her." Shizuo made more room for Izaya to pass. Their eyes briefly meet. An abrupt thought occurred to him. Unguarded and open, with his back to him, it wouldn't be difficult to slip a hand along the healing bruises, or to dip lower— Shizuo nearly ripped the door handle off in his haste to leave. Thankfully he didn't and the door clicked shut. He went to a lounge chair where the ocean view was in sight. He must have been more tired than he realized.

Izaya came out once more, this time in a robe, which made Shizuo wonder why he didn't do that in the first place. Fucking hell.

Shizuo was only half aware of what he was doing as he showered and the only reason he didn't completely ruin the bandages on his chest was because it was a detachable shower head. He probably stood under the cool spray for a good few minutes before realizing he was done. Stacked prettily on a shelf were the fluffy white towels arranged in size. Above that were the navy robes. Shizuo dried off and put one on, not giving a shit how he looked as he tied the belt. His nose picked up something faint and fruity and it took him a second to realize it was coming from him. The soap or shampoo must have been a tropical coconut scented. Great, now he smelled like a freaking Piña colada.

"You think they can find us here?" Shizuo asked as he stepped out and sat in one of the many comfortable chairs. Izaya had the sling on once more and was massaging his calf muscles when he looked up.

"They would have to be doggedly persistent and have eyes all over the Indian Ocean islands. As long as we avoid the major cities and don't get our names in the systems then we should be fine."

He would have asked how his secretary found him but it probably had to do with the cards he used to pay with. "Hmm. So how long will we stay?"

"Just a few days. Namie's preparing things as we speak. For now just relax. You didn't sleep much, right?"

"I'm fine."

Izaya stared harder, probably scrutinizing the stiffness in his muscles, the hanging slope of his posture, the dark under his eyes. "I don't believe it. We'll both sleep. The doctor said I need it but I think you need it more. All right, get up. Pick a room."

Shizuo frowned, but there was no reason to deny what Izaya was saying. "Fine," he said and stood. He went to the closest room and shut the door softly behind him. He left the curtain open and didn't bother getting into the covers as he dropped down on the bed.

Though he trusted Izaya and what he said, he didn't quite believe that they were completely safe. Who knows, those crazy fuckers may actually enjoy hunting them down. They probably wanted some kind of payback for ruining their game.

His eyes hurt from staring out the bright window for too long, and Shizuo turned on his side and faced the wall. An alarm clock blared bright red numbers, 10:26. Wasn't it too early to sleep? He went on his back and put an arm over his eyes.

It was quiet but it wasn't a good quiet. The peaceful scenery wasn't enough to put him at ease. He turned his head as he heard something. A light knock came at his door.

"It's unlocked," Shizuo said and lifted up at his elbows.

Izaya peered in and seeing something that didn't quite match up to his expectations, he stepped in. "Something tells me that you won't actually sleep," he began as he walked into the room and went by the curtains, "unless I stay up longer than you to make sure you do."

"Are you seriously checking up on me?"

"Yes, I am. Nice view by the way," Izaya said, but he wasn't looking outside but at him as he tugged the curtains closed. The room became dark and Shizuo's frown with it.

"You're not even under the covers. I believe I made my point."

"It's too warm for blankets."

Izaya picked up the remote and the air con turned on. "Any other complaints?"

Shizuo huffed but got under the covers. He probably should have more complaints but he couldn't think of the right ones. "No."

"Good." The bed was big enough that there was plenty of room on either side for both of them, except Izaya went straight for the middle. He picked the pillow he liked and knocked the others away. One leg touched Shizuo's own as he stretched and got comfortable. Considering he was so thin, he sure knew how to take up space.

"Why are you taking up the entire bed?"

"It's not all of the bed, Shizu-chan, I left you the edge. See, I'm making the most of our stay. You should too."

Shizuo wasn't annoyed about his bed being usurped. It wasn't like he would make a fuss when he had let Izaya stay in the first place. "Whatever."

"And don't just pretend to sleep. I know the difference."

"Who the hell pretends to sleep?" Shizuo grumbled and got more comfortable on his back. It wasn't completely dark that he wasn't able to see anything, but he could gauge the distance between them and make out some of his features.

"My sisters. I used to put them to bed when they were younger but they liked to stay up. All the time I'd hear them whispering late in the night and each time I went by their door, they'd go silent. Sometimes I'd have to stand there for awhile. If that didn't work I'd bribe them."

"Hmm, no wonder they are always trying to get me to give them Kasuka's photos or autographs or number. They learned it from you."

"I would tell them to stop, though they won't listen to me."

"It's okay. They don't bother me much."

"Careful. Don't tell them that, or they'll never stop."

"Yeah," Shizuo said with a short exhale. "Just like their brother."

Izaya paused and turned. "Oh, what's this? Are you saying that I don't bother you? Or did you mean something else?"

Shizuo hadn't really meant all that much about what he said, but it was true that Izaya didn't bother him and wouldn't even if he never stopped either.

"Hey, Shizu-chan, what did I just say about fake sleeping?" Izaya got closer and touched his arm.

"Go to sleep," Shizuo said.

"Fine." The sheets rustled. "But you first."

Izaya didn't move back from his claimed space, which was no matter because all of the fatigue that Shizuo had been fighting won.

The curtains were drawn with sparse lighting creeping from the corners. In the midst of being half asleep, Shizuo rolled to his side and for some reason, his pillow became harder.

His arm twitched as he felt a soft rise and fall of movement, and slowly he pulled closer. It took him a few seconds as his thoughts had yet to form coherently, but he reveled in this peace and didn't want to wake up when being awake was so complicated. He breathed in deeply and nearly dozed back to sleep.

His first waking thought was,  _smells like Izaya_ : his second,  _that's because it is._

Where his arm was thrown over, he felt the even rise and fall of undisturbed sleep. And while he could have easily fallen back asleep in comfort, because it had been awhile since he had woken up without a single worry, he became tense, all rigid muscles, as he was caught off guard. He jerked back suddenly, nearly tipping over the edge of the bed if it weren't for the sheet caught under him.

It didn't matter if it felt good or right, it wasn't something he had the right to.

Izaya groaned and stretched languidly. He lifted up to peer at the clock on the nightstand over Shizuo and with heavy eyelashes blinked more awake, finally noticing that he wasn't the only one awake.

"Morning," Izaya said. "So the slumbering log finally wakes up. See, I knew you were tired." Izaya yawned and covered his mouth. "Been awake for long?"

Shizuo blinked. The tenseness was slow to unwind. "What?"

"Still waking up I see. It's been roughly 21 hours that you've been asleep. Hmm, that's impressive. Were you recharging?"

The glaring red numbers on the clock read 7:38. If it was morning, it meant that it was too early for this. No wonder his head felt as if it were stuffed with cotton. Shizuo rolled onto his stomach and groaned into his pillow. Another 21 hours of sleep sounded like a fucking fantastic idea.

"I know what will wake you up." There was a sharp click of the lamp.

Shizuo turned his head to see Izaya reaching over his side of the bed for the phone and a leatherback folder. The front of his robe had loosened as he sat against the headboard.

"Want the breakfast set with French toast, pancakes, granola, or waffles?"

"Mmm." He groaned into the pillow.

"So which one?"

They all sounded amazing. "Don't care," he said, but the syllables were all slurred together.

Izaya began to call and Shizuo really did feel like a log as he rolled and lumbered all the way to the curtains. The brightness of early morning blinded him for a moment. He didn't feel at all well rested as he rubbed his eyes. Not even the first or second glass of milk woke him up fully. His body was stiff all over and his joints cracked loudly.

Izaya came out of the room and sat at a table with a laptop that he opened. Shizuo frowned, wondering if that was here before, but unsure if he could remember that.

Under the shower's spray, the heated water relaxed his muscles and he could think properly again. There was something about being clean that was more than being clean, and Shizuo welcomed as the hot water coaxed the sleep out of him.

He had nothing to change into but a new set of navy robes and he was towel drying his hair when he heard the chime of the doorbell. By the sound of it, Izaya was already answering the door. Shizuo went out, towel draped over his shoulders and robes disheveled, to see a trolley with a metal covering being pushed into the entrance by a man in a white uniform. He was talking to Izaya in English in a friendly manner, and seeing that it wasn't exactly a threat, Shizuo slowed down and stopped eyeing the closest furniture.

"You sure it's safe to eat?" Shizuo asked once the man left.

"Yeah, I already ordered something last night." He lifted the lid and underneath was an assortment of delicious breakfast foods. "Want to eat outside? The weather is nice."

Shizuo made a noise of not caring where they ate and lifted both trays carefully, leaving the cart. There was a glass table with a parasol that he set the metal trays onto. His breakfast set included scrambled eggs, an assortment of jams and syrups for his French toast, cut up fruit, yogurt, and most importantly bacon. A small coffee was included as well. Izaya's meal was similar though instead of French toast he had gone with a bowl of granola.

Since this place was nicer than anywhere else Shizuo had ever stayed, not that he'd had much chance to go on vacations, it made sense then that the food they delivered would promise to be out of this world, and after the first tentative bites, Shizuo found himself enjoying it immensely. Something this good definitely couldn't be poisoned. The breakfasts that he usually made tended to be on the simple side (leftovers, toast, cereal, miso soup, or a bowl of rice with furikake and egg if he woke up early enough) and Shizuo enjoyed western style breakfast foods a lot, so eating this was not only rare but incredibly delicious.

He took his time savoring the crisp and oily strips of bacon. He barely took notice of the scenery around them, though the waves and bird noises occasionally got his attention as did another plate of bacon.

"Want it?" Izaya offered.

"Huh, oh yeah," Shizuo took the plate. "Thanks." Shizuo, being fair, held out the coffee. "Want this?"

"Since it's not yet ruined with sugar, sure."

Once Shizuo put the trays back on the trolley and someone was called to pick it up, Izaya went on his laptop. It was even more clear that he already had an entire setup with complicated looking devices and that he had been working on this a lot in the last 21 hours.

"What are you doing?" Shizuo asked from where he was sitting on the plush couch. A few magazines were splayed on the table in front of him with water sports and nature scenes on the cover.

"Gathering information," Izaya said as he continued to type with one hand.

"About the island?"

He looked up. "Yes and the ones in charge."

Shizuo sat up a bit more upright. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"It's safer to know who your enemies are. It's the only way to be a few steps ahead of them."

Shizuo knew there was no stopping Izaya with that calculating look in his eyes, but it still made him uneasy.

He found the remote on a coffee table and it took a few seconds before finding the on switch.

"Try not to break the TV if you accidentally click on porn again."

Shizuo grimaced. "I wasn't going to." There was an endless stream of channels on the TV. Most of it was in English or another language he wasn't familiar with. He played the volume low so that it wouldn't bother Izaya. None of the news, sports, dramas, or documentaries held any interest to him but after about 300 or so channels, an old martial arts film was on that he was sure he had seen before. He wasn't watching it with much attention but it helped his mind stop thinking about anything and shut down for awhile.

The doorbell rang once more and Shizuo hadn't heard that Izaya had ordered anything. It was a platter of local fruits slit up and carved with the names of each fruit on laminated cards. Some things he recognized, like the mango, papaya, and guava (not that he had ever tried the latter two) the rest of the fruits were completely foreign, like the starfruit, jackfruit, and two types of apples. But he did end up liking the breadfruit with the ugly outside with a stringy and sweet custard-like inside.

It wasn't till the weather cooled, after he had wasted the day keeping his mind occupied, that he went outside. He sat at the edge of the pool with his heels in the water. The darker it became, the more the pretty scenery took the appearance of another island. His fists tightened and an unease stiffened his muscles.

Shizuo got up and returned inside, locking the door for good measure. Izaya looked up from the screen of his laptop. Though it wasn't so noticeable, the hazy light from the screen caught the fatigue in his keen eyes. Figured, since he was staring at the screen for most of the day.

"I'm going to sleep," Shizuo muttered.

"Without dinner?"

Shizuo went into the room without responding and left the door ajar. He wasn't tired but he didn't want to be awake either. Almost two hours had passed when the shadows against the wall shifted. This time Izaya didn't wait to be invited. The mattress barely shifted, not even the sheets that he was atop of rustled.

"Hey, what you're doing on that computer." It had been what he'd been thinking about on and off.

"Ah, so you are awake."

"It's not going to get you in serious trouble, right?"

"Any more trouble than we've already been through?" His laugh was light but derisive. "Not at all. If anything I'm making sure nothing more will happen. Think of it as insurance that will make us untouchable."

Shizuo doubted that. "But it's going to piss them off. You're making yourself a bigger target for them, just like you did while we were there."

"I'll try not to step on too many toes then."

Izaya had been stabbed before back home and no one had bothered to mention it. What if it happened again and he never found out? Shizuo turned away from the wall. Much of what he could make out had been leached by the darkness, but that didn't hinder him from seeking Izaya's eyes. "Yeah, and what if that gets you stabbed or shot or worse?"

Izaya was propped up with one hand and his expression was so obviously nonplused, if not amused, that it got Shizuo gripping the sheets hard. "More like if I don't do this that is a likely scenario."

"Fucking hell, is any of this ever going to be over?"

"That's precisely what I'm aiming for."

Shizuo still didn't like it, but it wasn't like they could indefinitely stay holed up somewhere. Even with whatever money Izaya had, that just wasn't realistic.

Izaya sighed. "I'll play it safe, all right. We've already gotten through the hard part, what's left will be a cinch." It must have been more complicated than that, but this was what Izaya was good at so it made a tiny bit of sense, well, to Izaya at least. Izaya did appear to be relaxed as he settled into the bed completely at ease.

"Alright." He dropped an arm over his face and glowered.

The curtains rustled with a soft breeze. Izaya shifted and pulled a sheet free. The occasional barely there sounds outside filled the stretch of silence. "Night, Shizu-chan."

He lifted his arm from over his eyes. "Good night." Shizuo didn't mean to stay up, but after Izaya had fallen asleep, he spent a good amount of time staring up at the blank ceiling and then through the window. It was late morning when he turned in a groggy daze and was alone.

Though he was relieved that they stayed inside with no real plans for the following days, it still wasn't easy. Two more days passed in a similar manner: inside without much to do with Izaya busy on his computer and nothing worth watching on the numerous channels. After surviving through that hell, relaxing and doing nothing should have been things he'd want, but he didn't know what to do with himself.

Maybe because it wasn't over he couldn't relax, or more likely he just wouldn't allow himself to relax because a part of him didn't believe that it could ever truly be over. Either way, thinking about it wasn't helping him any so he watched whatever played on the TV and flipped the channels without any real focus.

The more he did nothing, the heavier it became on his mind—a numb feeling that he attributed to being restless inside.

"What are you watching?"

It was the first thing Izaya had commented in a while. Shizuo blinked. He'd been facing the TV but hadn't been paying any attention to it. It was an English program so hell if he knew. A guy was taking a shower.

"A soap commercial?" Shizuo said and was about to flip the channel.

Another guy joined him in the shower.

" _Those are some dirty,_ dirty  _nipples you got there."_

"Really?" Izaya snickered. "Those are some dirty, pfff,  _dirty_  soap commercials, huh?"

What the hell? Shizuo turned it off. "Yeah, that's enough TV for one day." He went for the books lined on a shelf, but none were in Japanese so he ended up just as bored.

Shizuo woke up the next morning sick, not physically sick, but shaky and sweaty. Impressions flitted across his still waking mind, the worst of it was a sharp sense of absence that was only made more severe when he realized he was alone in bed. It hadn't quite left after he stumbled out of the room, tangled up sheets nearly tripping him, and he found Izaya working on his computer. Shizuo had no real explanation for his sudden appearance besides a quick good morning and retreat to the refrigerator. Of course he had finished the milk the day before.

Shizuo didn't say anything when he went out to the beach. The waves were calm and colored like shifting blue and green glass. A constant breeze kept the heat of the sun pleasant. He sat on a naturally raised dune to take it in, aware of and yet ignoring the things that bothered him.

Behind him, the sand was untouched except by his own feet. It was by chance that he had happened to be looking back that he saw Izaya leaning against the rail, drink in hand. It was almost by instinct that when Izaya stepped back and disappeared that Shizuo got up and returned the way he came. It must have been a while, possibly hours, that he had been out there.

Izaya was at his computer just as he had been tirelessly spending his free time, but he stretched and closed the screen when Shizuo approached. "We should do something. It's about time we went out, don't you think?"

Shizuo sat on the long couch, taking nearly the entirety of it with his long legs. He hadn't thought they would be going out at all unless it was directly to the airport. "You want to go sightseeing?" The incredulity and reluctance were heavy in his voice. Similar to the magazine covers on the coffee table with the watersports and nature scenery, Shizuo imagined them spending the day scuba diving and taking a hike and it wasn't a pretty picture. They had enough of that.

"Not necessarily. Just to the nearest town. We can pick up some clothes while we're at it. Think about it, wouldn't it be nice to be wearing underwear again?"

"What? Of course I'm wearing underwear, dumbass."

"The very same ones you've been wearing for weeks, Shizu-chan?"

"Like you're one to talk. You're acting like you haven't been doing the same."

Izaya shrugged with a grin, his expression a questionable 'have I'. He pushed back from his chair and lifted a leg onto the desk so the robe parted at his legs. "Too bad for you," Izaya laughed. "I just did laundry." He was wearing his boxer briefs.

"The hell...?" Shizuo glowered and it took him a few seconds to regain his composure and will away the sudden spike in his blood pressure. "You could have told me you were doing laundry."

Izaya pointed to a stack of folded up clothes. "I washed what I could find of your things. So you going to tell me you don't want clean underwear now?"

He groaned loudly. "Jeez, alright. We'll go into town." His shirt and pants were warm and he took the bundle with him to his room to change into. He had to roll up the cuffs of his pants since they were noticeably too short and then find his missing belt so the pants would stay on. He had no problem with the shirt, though it was tighter than what he normally wore. Maybe getting clothes that actually fit him was a good idea.

Izaya was wearing his coat that he must have gotten dry cleaned because it looked slightly less hideous than the last time he had been wearing it. Stranger still was that Shizuo was glad to see it. Some things made no sense.

"Ready?" Izaya asked. "The shuttle bus leaves in ten minutes."

"Yeah."

It became more obvious in the sun that the bruises had faded and the only real remnant that Izaya had been so injured was the cast around his wrist that poked out from his fur-lined sleeve. There was even that light, happy step in his walk that Shizuo had always assumed was a direct result from his plotting and scheming.

"So you made progress with whatever you're doing?"

Izaya hadn't been expecting the question. "Several good leads actually. It'll be quite some time before they realize there's been a security breach." He then grinned. "I did hire the best intelligence hackers. So there's nothing to worry about."

"Hmm." Shizuo didn't know much about any of it, but it sounded as shady as he imagined it to be.

A green and white bus with gold lettering was already waiting by the front of the main entrance. The bus driver nodded at them and closed the doors once they were through to keep the cold inside. Izaya took a window seat by the front, and though Shizuo preferred the back he didn't say anything as he took the aisle seat. Only one other person got on the bus, a worker who chatted with the driver and filled most of the silence.

The view was all cliffside obscured by nature, but once the road stopped winding there were a few single story houses and eventually they began to see people walking or riding along the road and shops. Soon the ocean became visible and traffic slowed. There was an influx of people outside, too many to possibly keep track of.

This wasn't any small town, but a tourist destination.

Shizuo tensed as the bus stopped at a curb and the driver announced something.

"Alright, this is our stop," Izaya said.

He was in the aisle seat so technically if he just didn't move, Izaya wouldn't be able to get out.

"Shizu-chan, are you listening? It's our stop," Izaya stood from his seat and when the driver said something else, he responded, but Shizuo didn't know what. It was hard enough to concentrate on staying calm.

"Izaya..." he couldn't exactly ignore Izaya now that he was standing. "Let's not. I don't care about buying underwear anymore."

"Oh, come on. We're already here, might as well check it out."

His tongue was heavy and he swallowed with difficulty. He should have never agreed to this and it would be near impossible to convince Izaya otherwise now. "Someone could be looking for us. We can sightsee from the bus."

"There are a lot of tourists. We'll blend in fine. Besides, the bus will sit here for another fifteen minutes before returning back." Izaya said as he maneuvered over the barricade that was Shizuo's legs. Except Shizuo grasped onto the back of his coat before he could make it to the other side. This only halted him for a second as Izaya next shrugged out of his coat and was nearly free when Shizuo got an arm around him and as gently as he could forced him back down, which then happened to be on his lap.

"Perfect, that should be enough time for you to look out the window."

"Now you're being ridiculous." He was unable to move the arm from around his waist. "Will you let go? I'm not forcing you to come with me If you really don't want to. I'll meet you in a couple of hours back at the hotel."

"You know I won't agree to that. Neither of us are going." His tone was final.

"You do realize how embarrassing this looks?" Izaya hissed.

"As if you really care about that." Shizuo ignored Izaya's snort. "Does that mean you'll sit in the chair if I let you go?"

Izaya paused and leaned towards the aisle so that he could look back. "This could get a lot more embarrassing for you if you don't let go." Instead of trying to get away as he had been doing prior, he pressed closer, making clear his threat.

Shizuo didn't mean to, but his arm slackened and in that moment Izaya slipped clear from him and was making it for the door.

It was only a few seconds head start, three footsteps at most, and Shizuo almost had the edge of that coat, but as always that was more than enough time for Izaya to spring free.

A metal railing on the bus bent and the door creaked as he forced his way through it. He spotted Izaya just ahead and as he ran after him, the many people blurred together. One thing was glaringly clear: Izaya's health had greatly recovered, which was a relief but it also meant he was once again an impossible flea to outrun.

They dodged the clueless pedestrians, Izaya with grace and Shizuo at the last moment. Each yelp of surprise or outraged word was ignored and the only reason Shizuo refrained from yelling out Izaya's name was to not draw any more attention, but the greater the distance grew between them, the more anxious he became.

He nearly barreled through a small crowd for the sole reason that they were between him and Izaya, but he stopped at the last moment before he could knock them aside. He moved around them and scanned where he had last seen Izaya only to not find him missing.

Shizuo stopped short, his breaths coming hard and the heat of the tropical weather making his shirt stick to him. Beads of sweat were trailing down his neck and he wiped it away with the heel of his hand.

This wasn't an unusual occurrence, Izaya being able to disappear as if from air, but as Shizuo turned, expecting a thin alleyway, a ladder, or an answer to his whereabouts and finding none, a slow emerging, horrible terror bled ice through his veins.

Where did he go? Where the fuck did he go?

The air left little trace of Izaya, as other stronger smells distracted him. He examined the surroundings more diligently and went by anything Izaya could hide behind. There were too many people, hoards of them, and they kept getting in the way. Agonizingly long seconds passed by.

His steps were no longer sure and he became rooted where he stood.

What if Izaya was gone?

In the grip of his worst irrational thoughts, a tremor worked through his muscles, sporadic and unmanning, threatening to take over his actions.

There was no other explanation for what happened. The people of the island had already found them and had targeted Izaya first. They would dispose of him. Make an example of it. That was the only logical end to their games after Izaya had made an enemy of them all.

His dejection grew. The horrible feeling was threatening to take him down deep and ugly depths.

Those around him were giving him curious looks as they passed, but to Shizuo they were only part of the muted scenery as he kept on searching for Izaya, for their enemies, or for a reason not to decimate his surroundings.

"Why'd you stop?" It was him. His voice made breathless from the run.

Shizuo lifted his gaze and there was Izaya with his hair tousled and color bright on his face. Shizuo stared openly, too many overwhelming emotions conflicting him. "I thought...I thought something bad happened."

"Oh?" He had half a grin which only set Shizuo off.

"Don't  _do_  that! Running off like that— _fuck_." He was angry, yes, nearly viciously angry, but so was he relieved and so completely unsettled his next words were having trouble leaving the tightness of his throat. The tremor had lessened, and now he was stuck between stepping closer, pulling Izaya into an inescapable hug or keeping his distance.

"But you see nothing happened. Did you think I would let us go out if I thought it unsafe? They aren't looking for us as far as I can tell. No one has gone after our families either." Shizuo's thoughts spun. At the mention of his family, he realized he hadn't given much thought to them, not having once made contact. "As I keep saying, there's no reason to worry. Nothing will happen. So if you want to return, go ahead. I'll be on my way." As Izaya took a step back, as if he would do the very thing he had just been told not to do, Shizuo quickly reached for him.

Once the material of the coat was between his fingers, he gripped it tight and used both arms this time so that there was no chance of escape. He was gentle, he made sure of that. Leaving little space just to be on the safe side, Shizuo held Izaya. A few long seconds passed and Shizuo felt himself calm.

"We're in the middle of the boardwalk," Izaya said by his shoulder.

"So?" It didn't matter that they were in the midst of an ever moving crowd. Fuck them. Fuck them all. He was closer than he had ever gotten to another person and he was trying his hardest not to squeeze too tight.

"Of course you have no sense of propriety."

Shizuo had only a vague sense of the word, but he didn't let that bother him. "Something tells me you don't either."

Shizuo felt the small laugh from Izaya along with a hand on his back. "So you coming with me or what?"

"Fine," Shizuo said with obvious reluctance since he was still a little mad, but that was better than risk chasing after Izaya a second time. "But only a few stores."

"Great." When Izaya withdrew his arm, it was probably his cue to as well, even if he'd rather not. There was a warmth of color on Izaya's face, which could have been from the run. "I'll make it worth your time then. There's an ice cream parlor up ahead."

He walked with little mind to the ocean docked with boats, to the stretch of identical red-roofed shopping complexes. His main focus was anyone suspicious and keeping Izaya close.

They stopped at an ice cream shop called Eden. Izaya ordered a vanilla milkshake topped with whipped cream, drizzled caramel, cookie crumbs, and a cherry for him while getting freshly squeezed fruit juice for himself. With no place to eat inside, they went towards the part of the boardwalk that had benches and shaded tables.

Izaya watched the people passing by or sprawled out on the beach while Shizuo didn't care so much for the view, not when he took a large sip and was in milkshake heaven. The milkshake did help wash down the rest of his ire. It helped too that it was arguably the best milkshake he had ever had. Regrettably, like all milkshakes, it was gone too soon. He was at the bottom of his cup, attempting to vacuum the very last drops with his straw. They stayed there till Izaya finished his drink.

"This will probably do," Izaya said when they were later in front of a surf shop. It had a laid-back atmosphere with a foreign pop song playing in the background. Shizuo followed Izaya to where the clothes were displayed. The first row contained wetsuits and bathing suits. The clothing was all casual and most of it was too colorful for his taste. It was impossible to tell from the price tags if the price was high or not.

"What do you think of this?" Izaya pulled out a bright orange Hawaiian shirt.

"It's orange." He had always known that Izaya had zero fashion sense. "And ugly."

"It's great, right?"

"You actually want to wear that?"

"No, of course not." He grinned. "It's for you."

"Yeah, I'll pick out my own clothes, thanks."

Izaya followed him around the other row of clothes with the shirt. "But Shizu-chan, It's the perfect obligatory vacation shirt. You'll blend right in. There won't be any bartender uniforms here so you might as well wear this."

"If it's so perfect how about you get it?"

"You want to wear matching shirts?"

The only thing worse than seeing it on himself would be having to see it constantly on Izaya and knowing he looked just as stupid. "No."

"Fine, then you can pick out a shirt for me to wear. That's fair, right?"

How in any universe besides Izaya's own was that fair? Well if he picked out something so terrible, Izaya would be forced to forget about the orange shirt. "Alright."

"Let's make this interesting. We'll pick out an entire outfit."

Shizuo frowned, wondering if he'd regret this, but he was sure that he could find the absolute worst outfit. "Fine."

There wasn't anything terrible enough so he wandered into the women's section.

" _Do you need any help?"_ The storekeeper asked in English and it was a miracle he could understand.

 _Yeah, you could leave me the fuck alone._ " _No_ ," he managed to say.

The storekeeper raised his brow and thankfully went away.

Since Izaya always wore black, this should be easy. Shizuo found something obnoxious enough to what he had in mind. He brought them over behind his back. Izaya had found a blue pair of shorts as well that he draped over his arm. "Ready?" Izaya asked.

"Yeah."

Izaya held out the orange shirt with regular blue shorts while Shizuo did the same. He brought forward a light jacket that had pink stripes with bright pink material on the inside and black micro shorts that he was positive Izaya couldn't fit in. He'd also found a pink see-through tank top for good measure.

"Huh," Izaya didn't look all too surprised but amused. "That's an...interesting choice. Looks like something Kururi would like. But I guess I'm stuck with it."

"You'd actually wear this?"

"Well yeah, I said I would. I'm just glad it's not a skirt."

A skirt...? Shizuo shook his head from that mental image. "Forget it. I'll choose something else."

"No, it's okay, I kind of like it, I mean you did pick it out just for me." Izaya felt the fabric and saw that it stretched. "Yeah, it'll work."

It wasn't until after buying all this shit and proper footwear that Shizuo realized he still hadn't gotten any underwear. But the next store had some. Unfortunately, their next destination was a changing room.

He had to admit, the orange shirt wasn't too terrible and the dark blue shorts were his size so all in all, it was fine especially since he now wore clean underwear. He threw out the old ones in a garbage bin when he stepped out. Izaya took a bit longer to change. Shizuo felt a bit bad for purposely finding a shitty outfit, but he did give Izaya the option of not wearing it. Maybe those shorts weren't going to fit after all. "You don't really have to wear that, you know." He said aloud.

"Almost got it, wait." Half a minute later Izaya stepped out. "Ta-da." He was wearing the outfit all right, down to those ridiculous black micro shorts that should have been impossible to fit in. He had zippered up the jacket all the way and was adjusting the hood. "Looking good, Shizu-chan. And don't be shy, I accept compliments too." If there was an outfit worse than Izaya's normal getup, he had just found it. And he only had himself to blame.

"How the hell did you manage to fit into those?" He pointed to the shorts that surely weren't allowing any breathing room.

Izaya grinned as if proud. "It was quite difficult, I did have to parkour into them."

"Huh? You did what?"

"You know, parkour, freerunning," he made a motion with his hands then shook his head and chuckled, "nothing, forget about it."

They were out on the boardwalk once more with Shizuo carrying their things. "See, now we blend in."

Shizuo disagreed. If anything Izaya stood out even more. But the funny thing was, they weren't the worst dressed either. There were plenty of tourists wearing clothes as tight and distracting as Izaya but who couldn't pull it off. Shizuo realized that maybe Izaya had a point and maybe his outfit wasn't that bad. He did have nice legs.

"At least no one here knows us," Shizuo finally said. It wasn't like they were walking around Ikebukuro like this.

Izaya stopped abruptly at one store. Inside were rows and rows of fancy and probably overpriced sunglasses. "Oh, of course. I knew I was forgetting something." He walked around the first counter carefully. "Hey, the sunglasses that you normally wear, did you pick them out?"

"Yeah," Shizuo said and since Izaya still hadn't returned to examining the display of sunglasses and looked to be thinking hard, Shizuo frowned and asked, "what?"

"It's a stretch," he picked up a pair and held it in his palm, "but I think this one would look good." They had large rims that were more fits for a bug's face. He knew before trying it that it wouldn't work.

"I think you have zero fashion sense," Shizuo said as looked in the mirror that he had to duck to see before taking them off. Yeah, it was a good thing sunglasses weren't made with fur lining because he had a feeling Izaya would be the only one to wear them.

"You sure?" Izaya snickered as he slipped on large pink shades that matched the pink of his clothes and for some inexplicable reason looked good. Izaya's smile widened when he hadn't responded fast enough.

"Fine, 0.0000987 percent fashion sense," Shizuo shrugged. "Which is still zero."

"I'm flattered," Izaya switched the sunglasses for a cheetah print frame with dark shades. "Then shall we finish completing each other's outfit?"

"Yeah, not happening." He wasn't going to be fooled a second time.

"Oh, but I'll let you have the final say this time." Izaya was already reaching for iridescent, bug-eyed shades.

"Still not happening."

"Alright, you got me. I just wanted to make you wear the most ridiculous things I could find. Go ahead and pick whatever generic and boring sunglasses you want." Izaya turned to the next row where sleek looking shades were.

"Okay, one," Shizuo said before he could think better of it. "I'll try one more so you better make it count."

He was favored with a calculating grin. "I have just the one in mind."

It ended up being gold framed with yellow-green tinted lenses. He tried it on without looking in the mirror.

"Ah, it's too bad I don't have a camera on me," Izaya sighed.

"Well, you won't need one."

Izaya paused as he caught the meaning. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, before I change my mind." It was only fair after the terrible outfit he had picked for him.

"Then I'll get these," Izaya picked up the pink ones he had tried on earlier, "since you liked them so much."

"What? No, I didn't—" He stopped, taking in the bright laughter and felt a sudden warmth. "Hey, stop that you idiot." Shizuo was never going to allow Izaya to pick out sunglasses again, though he couldn't bring himself to hate it completely. He hadn't even noticed the young salesman behind the cashier, sporting large orange sunglasses.

" _Good choices_ ," he said with a grin.

The world outside was now tinted yellow and Shizuo was still reluctant to see himself in the passing windows, which was why he almost walked past Izaya who had stopped at a store. It was a novelty shop filled to the walls with all sorts of junk and gag gifts.

"Why are we here?"

Izaya was going along the shelves and stopping every so often. "For souvenirs. If my sisters found out I was overseas they would be annoyed if I didn't get them anything. It's what they are used to."

"You're going to tell them?"

Izaya tipped his head up at all the masks and hats along the wall. "No, and they won't ask either way. This should be good enough." He picked up two sets of mittens, one black and one white, that had cat paw prints where the palms were. His eyes then lit up. "Hey, look at that." Izaya pointed to a package with an animal floaty. It was either goose or swan-shaped with a head and neck extended from the tube body. "I always wanted one of those."

"Figures. Only you would be in something so terrible."

"It's called blending in." Izaya placed it in a basket. "We're next to the beach."

"How the heck are you going to not draw attention while wearing something so, so," he stumbled for the right word while staring at the abomination. "Hideous?"

Izaya laughed. "What? Have something against swans?"

Shizuo tsked. "Yeah, when you wear it."

"You should get one too. This one has a penguin on it."

It's selling points were apparently the dangling orange feet and beak. Could anything be more embarrassing?

"Oh, this is much better!" Izaya pulled out a package with a flamingo. It was painfully similar to the swan but pink. "We have to get this. It'll be the perfect disguise."

Shizuo snagged the package and put it back on the hook before Izaya could add it to the swan. "I don't want to disguise myself as a nut case or a flamingo. You're only making the excuse of blending in so that you can buy the damn thing. If you want it then get it."

"Hmm." Izaya stared at a giant inflatable orca whale as if he were seriously considering it. "Yup, you're right I just want to buy it." He put it in the basket. "If there is anything you want don't hesitate, it's not like all of this is my money."

Which meant that it was probably all illegally acquired money and he wasn't going to use it to buy souvenirs for anyone he cared about.

Izaya also found boxers with printed designs like roosters, sea animals in the shape of bananas, and bacon strips (the most annoying one had the words 'party in my pants' but that was mostly because Izaya was trying to convince him to get it) and by then Shizuo was beginning to get a headache from too much shopping. Thankfully the store wasn't too big and they stepped out with the items stuffed into a newly bought backpack.

The sun was close to setting and many of the people with their children came from the beach to eat alongside the food stands. It smelled of fish and street food. Both locals and tourists crowded the marketplace. Lines of vendors displayed fruits or handmade crafts.

Izaya talked about the people's mixed ancestry and culture, but Shizuo had a hard time following with the overwhelming sounds and sights. It reminded him of back home, of a summer festival with the crowd and brightly colored displays, except nothing sounded or looked right. He hadn't really thought of Ikebukuro or missing home. Shizuo was just glad that they didn't go further along the vendors.

"Shall we get something to eat before we go?" Izaya asked.

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, sure."

Izaya chose a restaurant overlooking the ocean. They were seated outdoors with lit tiki torches bordering the area. It wasn't as fancy as that one restaurant his brother had once taken him to, but it sure was nicer than anywhere Shizuo normally ate out at.

The menu was English. It was a simple one with only two sides, squiggle font, and no pictures. Shizuo skimmed for any familiar words and stopped at pizza. He barely spared the waiter a glance, only noticing that she had heavily tanned, bronze skin and her uniform was a yellow top.

"You ready?" Izaya asked him.

"Yeah," he responded first in Japanese, then turned the menu over and pointed. " _This, please,"_ he said in English. She read off the order and he nodded at whatever else she said.

Izaya spoke comfortably without any noticeable hesitation, his posture relaxed. He helped her retrieve the menu and there was a genuine smile on her face when she left.

It got him thinking of before. Don't be fooled by him, he would have warned anyone. But this was another thing he had gotten wrong about Izaya, what Shizuo always thought of as only an ability to deceive. Maybe sometimes, yes, though not always, and not any time recently.

"I ordered some drinks too, nothing strong." Izaya picked his glass of water. The ice swirled around the rim as he took a sip. He was wearing that ring again, the plain silver one.

"Hmm."

The last brilliant colors of sunset had dulled to grey. Lights flicked on the boats still out at sea. Soon it would be scattered lights in the night. The background noises, all the foreign sounding chatter, the soft music, and the clatter of cutlery blended together and didn't matter.

Shizuo looked away from the ocean. He expected Izaya to be watching the other tables, maybe listening in on their conversations, whatever language that happened to be, but instead his focus had not strayed as Shizuo found himself being watched.

 _What?_  He nearly said aloud on impulse. A bread basket was placed between them, following a plate of oil. He took one bread roll and dipped it. It was good, nothing special. He preferred it with a lighter texture.

Izaya hadn't touched any and again their eyes met when Shizuo bothered to look. He wasn't good at these sort of things. He rarely ate out with others and was hardly fit company to be around. Was there something on his face? There was only a white linen napkin and he used that.

"So is this nothing closer to paradise?" Izaya asked.

Shizuo stared blankly.

"This is your first time abroad, right? Well, of course it is, officially." He didn't wait for Shizuo to respond. "It's undeniably a beautiful place, I'm sure most of humanity would envision paradise to look something like this. Of course there are those who would describe something abstract. Or unattainable. Or simple. Like happiness or a place after death. So, Shizu-chan, what does your vision of paradise look like?"

"What?" Shizuo picked apart a new bread roll. "What are you going on about this for? Paradise? As if that would matter to someone like me."

The worst thing was that if he'd have to give it serious thought, if anyone had dared ask him this before, the answer would have been simple: a punch to the face. Paradise was a place without violence and obviously somewhere he'd never belong.

Izaya nodded as if he understood. "Yeah, that's right. Maybe this is someone else's paradise, but not really for us."

Thank goodness the pizza came and it was an end to that. The pizza pie was big, the portion size could feed two. It had chunks of mozzarella cheese, leaves, and a good slathering of tomato paste. A seafood platter with a side of yellow rice was placed in front of Izaya. Their drinks came as well, a creamy cocktail with a flower placed on top was set by his water and Izaya had a glass of wine.

Shizuo took out the flower and swirled the contents of the drink.

"It's a mudslide." Izaya laughed at the look Shizuo gave him. "It's much better than how it sounds. I figured it would be right up your alley."

Maybe if he'd actually gotten far enough in his bartending days, he'd actually know what it was. He took a sip and instantly fell in love. It was mostly sweet and the taste of alcohol wasn't too strong. "What is that? Ice cream?"

Izaya tipped his head as he took a sip of his own glass.

The pizza was different than what he was used to but better. "Wow, this must be the best pizza ever."

"That's nice," Izaya said. He seemed to be struggling with the crab and shrimp, not quite able to get the shells off with one hand.

"Maybe you should have gone with pizza too."

A small frown worked its way like he was concentrating. "And pass off on the authentic local cuisine? No way." He carefully jabbed at the oyster, then brought it to his mouth with the shell. When he tried to slurp it, he stopped and probably regretted it but ate it anyway. Schooling his features, he said, "delicious."

"'Course you got the fancy stuff you can't even eat."

"I can," Izaya matched his even tone. "It only reminded me of something. I'm not much of a fan for the taste of the ocean recently."

"Alright, give me your plate. I'll fix that." Shizuo didn't wait as he shifted his seat closer, not quite next to him since it was a small round table, but close enough in reach. The shells practically slipped off as Shizuo worked the meat out, and Izaya stopped complaining once he saw that. It wasn't till Shizuo put the crab and shrimp pieces on the pizza that Izaya began making a fuss again.

He didn't bother with the oysters, not being a fan of them himself. "Here, now you can enjoy the authentic food and pizza at the same time. It's a win-win." He placed the plate back in front of him. The seafood was now at home with a generous slice of pizza.

Izaya looked down at it with disdain. "I don't think you understand what authenticity means."

"You can eat it now at least. Just try it."

"I'm sure you just offended the cook." Izaya lifted the slice and took a tentative bite.

"Yeah, well, the cook can suck a bucket of oysters."

Izaya stifled a laugh, and the bits of seafood almost fell off the pizza.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing." He took another bite. "It's not bad." Which pretty much translated to good in Shizuo's mind.

"See."

"I guess I should count myself lucky. You didn't have anything like whipped cream so the damage was contained."

"Whipped cream..." Oh.  _Oh._ The drink containing ice cream tasted good with the pizza. It was only natural that whipped cream would too. "You really are a genius. I never thought of that. Think they have any?"

Izaya slowly put down his slice of pizza. Disbelief, appall, and a number of other things crossed his face. He shook his head slowly and sighed. "You know, why not?" He soon got the waiter's attention. The small smile hadn't left his face even as he spoke.

Shizuo understood the gist of the conversation, and it seemed like their waiter was more than happy to comply even though she looked puzzled. While trying to preserve the rest of the pizza, Shizuo took deep sips of his drink. Though the alcohol wouldn't be enough to get him buzzed, let alone drunk, he felt a soothing warmth.

It took him a full minute to realize he was genuinely content, his mood at peace. In that moment there were no terrible things. So rare was he to experience this that he paused, eyes closed. He nearly missed the arrival of the small bowl, but he managed to say a quick thank you to the waiter. He tried only a spoonful first, a dollop on the edge of a slice. "It's like I've been missing out." He said after one eye-opening bite and took several more.

Izaya continued with his own pizza slice. "Hmm. And I'm still deciding if I made a terrible mistake."

"Thanks." Inside, the warmth only grew, heightened at the sight of Izaya's own contained grin that in the next moment was hidden behind a wine glass. The guileless eyes, the little things that Shizuo didn't quite understand because he never felt before, for whatever reason, hit him hard. But what he did understand was the source of the good feeling: Izaya, who turned his attention as if he knew, aware as he always was.

Shizuo was drawn—body moving without thought. Leaning over, his lips were made sweet from the drink, and Shizuo made the mistake of kissing him out of want. It was brief, less than a second before he realized where they were and more importantly what he had just done.

He was at a loss, mind a mess and thoughts blank like a complete moron unable to say anything. Even meeting Izaya's gaze when he heard his name was too much and he stared at the empty bread basket.

Izaya was already up and putting down a few bills. "Come on."

He followed, growing more unnerved, knowing he'd have to explain himself but not knowing how.

It was a relief then that Izaya had led them somewhere dark. He didn't want the distraction of others. It'd be easier to apologize if he didn't have to see him clearly. But the moment he started with the first few syllables, he was cut off, his mouth caught as if frozen but warming at the impossibly soft kiss.

He brought his hands up and gripped the stupid outfit Izaya wore. He needed to push away, fast, but the closeness got to him, and Shizuo was only making it worse by not stepping back when he so easily could.

It was difficult to resist when he wanted it more, as it became more of a need than a want, a terrible urge.  _Shit_ , when it felt this good.

Shizuo responded once he felt the first trace of tongue along his bottom lip. He couldn't help it then. His grip tightened further into the material before slacking and being able to actually feel beneath it. Still, he was careful at the dip of collarbones and he moved lower.

Tentatively he kissed back. Fully, the more he got the hang of it, as he stopped thinking and let himself feel. Again, just as it appeared while in the restaurant, that elusive warmth washed over him and he wanted to lose himself to it.

The tranquility almost let him forget. Izaya's hand going along his side and his body reacting sent an irritating sense of urgency in his mind. It turned to an aching dread as his thoughts crept further, as his senses returned. What if he can't control himself? If he loses himself for even a moment?

He started to freeze. He broke away, his mouth still hot but his hands going cold. He was only more of a fool for never being able to control himself. "We should stop," he finally managed. His heart rate was too erratic like he'd been running.

"Yeah, let's go back to the hotel."

"No, I mean..."

It may have been dark, but there was no misreading the want there, a suggestion for more that was a temptation all of its own, but Shizuo knew he couldn't go further. He didn't trust himself and never did he hate himself more.

He stepped back, the guilt tripping him up now, and no longer sure what to do with his hands.

And Izaya was still waiting for him to continue, too eerily quiet.

So many thoughts went through his head. He'd never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone until he was sure he could completely control himself. And he didn't think he could. But it was more than that. It was confusing because he didn't know what he wanted, but he knew he didn't want to hurt Izaya. "We shouldn't. I could accidentally—" he stopped, suddenly sick imagining it. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I couldn't help myself, I-I moved without thinking." He finished lamely, well aware of the too fast pulse of his heart rushing in his ears.

Shizuo didn't want to look at Izaya, but he made himself. His expression was calm and impassive as the ocean behind him. If Shizuo could put back that carefree grin, he would but that would be taking back his words. He made a resigned noise, a soft exhale, and forced a small grin. "As I said we should go back to the hotel."

The entire walk back to the bus was miserable. Shizuo wanted to knock himself over the head because he didn't know what to do or say. The bus ride was even worse. Izaya sat near the front, looking out the window at the people still out enjoying their night. Shizuo deliberated before sitting down next to him.

The hum of the bus got louder as it started.

"Hey Izaya," Shizuo began, not able to stand this any longer, but Izaya cut him off before he could most definitely make this even worse.

"It's okay," Izaya said, "there's nothing to apologize for if that's what you are thinking."

That made Shizuo feel like even worse shit.

He spent the night alone, on a bed that was too big and empty. The typing on the laptop went through the hours. Shizuo knew, he was listening to it intently. When Izaya did come to the door, with only half his face visible in the early morning light, it was to tell him they were leaving in thirty minutes. They had a plane to catch.

Shizuo tugged on his clothes. He only had a plastic bag which he kept some clothes and the sunglasses in. Izaya was in the shower and came out looking more refreshed than anyone should for pulling an all-nighter. "Julien will be here any moment." He said and went to finish packing his computer.

It was a tense silence, filled with all the things left unsaid and unheard. It grated on his nerves. He didn't know how to reverse this when there wasn't anything to reverse. He had made a mistake, but it had been for the better. If only he could believe it then he'd be set.

Julien came in his beat-up car. He was cheerful, even though as he talked to Izaya, he must have seen the scowl Shizuo was making the entire ride in the rearview mirror.

They said goodbye at a ferry line. Well, Izaya said goodbye, and Shizuo nodded his head at the kid who kept on waving even after they boarded.

"He's already picked out the Mercedes. He knows a guy who'll give him a good price. It's used and needs a little fixing, but it's in good condition."

Shizuo didn't say anything.

They took another bus ride to the airport. Izaya picked up a package waiting for him at a service counter. Inside were passports. Izaya checked them before passing one to him. "Try not to damage it," he warned.

Shizuo warily opened it. The picture was him, alright, a younger shot from his time in high school. He had no idea how Izaya had gotten it. The name wasn't his. He took one look at Sakamoto Kentaro and stifled a heavy frown. Both at the name and at doing something so obviously illegal.

"Fake passports," Shizuo said under his breath when they were at the checking machine. Izaya scanned his passport, which was also fake. The machine printed out the ticket.

"Of course. Makes it all the more difficult to track us."

He tsked, but otherwise didn't voice his concerns. Izaya had a point. Probably thought it all out too. That didn't stop him from expecting something to go wrong the entire time they went through security. The staff checking his passport barely spared him a glance, and the fake passport scanned without a problem. His tickets indicated it wasn't a direct flight, and it wasn't until they were boarding that he realized that they weren't sitting together.

Izaya explained that it was because these were last-minute flights, the only seats available were these. Shizuo had heard this, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. It may have been only a few rows apart, but when they were seated it was impossible to see him. He didn't care that this was his first flight, he already wasn't enjoying it. He had an aisle seat so at least one on his legs wasn't completely cramped. He ignored the couple next to him. There was a screen available to play movies, but nothing interested him and he listened to calming music the entire time.

The next flight was worse. It was over nine hours to himself. This time he had the window seat, so at least he had something to look at. Part of the way he tried to work out his emotions, but there was no easy solution when it came to Izaya.

The most interesting part of the entire flight was the view right before they landed. He was surprised to actually feel a pang at the sight of Tokyo. A part of him hadn't quite caught up that they would be returning, that he'd be home soon. It almost seemed like a wild impossibility.

He didn't get up right away once the seatbelt sign turned off. He waited for the stream of people to get their bags and for Izaya to stand. When the crowd dwindled and he hadn't yet seen Izaya, he began to worry. Shizuo stood, his joints popping at the sudden move, and spotted Izaya right away in his seat. He went over, now able to cross the row of unoccupied chairs to get there.

"Wow, I slept the entire flight," Izaya said and stretched. "What did you do?"

"Nothing much, looked out the window." Shizuo got the backpack for him. It was oddly shaped with the computer. An itch to go was tight in his muscles.

"See anything nice?"

"No, it was mostly dark out."

"Ah."

It took a while with the line of people ahead of them to go through customs. Again, when they checked his passport, Shizuo was on edge, but it all went smoothly. Shizuo was a little impatient to leave at this point, but Izaya said he needed something before they left. He bought two smartphones along with prepaid SIM cards at one of the special vending machines. He got them set up on the train ride heading for Ikebukuro. It was still too early in the morning, so it wasn't heavily crowded.

When the speaker announced their arrival, Shizuo's anticipation grew.

"Alright, I have something to give you. Here." Izaya said while on the platform. He hadn't taken that many steps away from the doors.

Shizuo stared blankly at the phone. Other passengers dodged them on their way inside.

"Since you don't have one. I already programmed a number you can reach me by. I'll be pretty busy these next few days, but call me if something's important." He took a half a step back, turning just a bit. Then he paused and smirked. "Oh, and when you go out, try not to wear that bartender uniform. I already took care of the necessary things here but watch your back."

Wait what?

It was only as Izaya was stepping back that Shizuo realized he meant to leave. The doors warned that they were closing. As Shizuo moved, Izaya tossed something black and it thudded against his chest before he caught it.

"See you around, Shizu-chan." Izaya waved just as the doors closed.

He still could have ripped the doors off, but he was numb, taken by surprise. Of course returning meant they would go their separate ways. What else was he expecting?

Certainly not this. Like watching the train leave was a huge mistake. His chest stung like he'd been stabbed.

He looked at whatever Izaya threw at him, fully expecting a knife, but in his hands was his well-used leather wallet, the one which he had thought he'd lost on the island and somehow Izaya had carried with him.

Shizuo stayed there, rooted to the spot, thinking of doing something completely stupid like try to outrun a train. The instinct to chase after him was doggedly strong, just as it had always been. When the train was out of sight, he thought of taking the next one, but there was no telling where Izaya would go, whether back to his apartment or go where he couldn't be found. But what did it matter? It wasn't like he had a right to follow him.


	49. Vacation’s Over You Miserable Bastards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! I hope you didn't wait too long
> 
> First, I got more fan art!!! Ahhh <3
> 
> From thefriedpeachcollection I have this spectacular drawing <3 : [here](https://thefriedpeachcollection.tumblr.com/post/168971564827/a-really-cringy-doodle-omg-inspired-by-the-book)
> 
> And from tere-gg I have four super amazing drawings that one day (once I figure out how) I want to add to the chapters!  
> [Izaya selfie ](https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/46/f9/8b/46f98b92c0fa349514179752eb022b3d.jpg)  
> [Izaya and the jungle](https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/f7/6a/ca/f76aca08f4bc6c74575fa6d636c61d91.jpg)  
> [helicopter](https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/6e/20/35/6e203596de846fef68b3adb2b38eb5a5.jpg)  
> [helicopter yacht](https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/e7/c4/2a/e7c42af3ec8e940d6b35a5b357ce92ed.jpg)
> 
> Thank you so much both of you; it's more than amazing and I love them!

Izaya let his grin turn a little wider, an edge more eager now that it wouldn’t matter if he were seen or not. It had been difficult containing it whenever he saw the ever growing affliction on Shizuo's face, but he had to be careful since Shizuo’s instincts were much too aware when something didn't quite add up.

The other night went far better than he could have imagined.

Sure he didn't exactly get what he wanted, but it had been close, closer than he’d expected, and now he had something he could use to his advantage. Being nice could only get him so far. It had consistent results, of course, but it wasn't enough. But then Shizuo had kissed him and that changed everything. His calculations hadn't factored that so soon. It meant that more was possible with the right amount of work. With a little push in the right direction.

Shizuo's guilt was just an added bonus.

Shizuo would be thinking of him constantly, Izaya was sure. It sent a bubbling glee through him. Of course, he’d rather have his affection, but he’d take guilt too. At least for now.

Maybe it had been partly his fault, tempting how far Shizuo would go. Looking back, he shouldn’t have. He'd keep it in mind then, not to push or take too much too soon. So much for his excellent patience deciding it would rather taste the cake than eat it.

But this just meant he had more to work with, he could try something else. This would also help with his other dilemma: with the sheer amount of information he needed to go through these next few days, Izaya couldn't exactly split his focus, and as entertaining as it was watching Shizuo, it wasn't fair nor productive if Shizuo was uncomfortable and growing increasingly tense staying indoors all day without anything to do. Going out proved that Shizuo could handle himself well enough on his own.

Which was why this time away was so important. It gave Shizuo his space and the time to work his own thoughts out. And whatever conclusion he came to, if he came to one, Izaya was willing to accept. Distancing himself may have multiple outcomes, both in and out of his favor, but this would be interesting, and Izaya was safe knowing that Shizuo could never truly reject him. Not after everything they’d gone through.

Fascinating too was that Shizuo would rather reject himself than him. But that was something that would need addressing later—when Shizuo was ready.

For now, Izaya needed to focus on stopping the island and to work as quickly as possible while there were still loose ends. He could only hope that Shizuo would call if he needed him. If anything happened. More likely though, he would not.

Mejiro station was a stop away from Ikebukuro station. He’d reserved a hotel room a few blocks away. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it still was better than a typical single room. There was a row of taxis waiting for passengers out on the street, but he chose to walk. He had been too long away from his city. He knew this area well, having run down these same roads while being chased. It wasn’t too crowded at this time of day, and Izaya unhurriedly matched his pace to those around him. He breathed in the familiar air and savored the taste of home.

No one so much as spared him a second glance the entire way to the sleek hotel building. It was sparsely furnished with black leather couches surrounding the windows and bamboo decorations. In an adjacent room to the lobby was the dining area, where people were talking and eating. Two receptionists greeted him warmly as Izaya checked in.

He really did owe Namie. He’d expected that she would have seen his absence as a paid vacation, possibly not at all showing after the third consecutive day he’d gone missing, but she hadn’t. Because of her, the clients who had called his office directly had no idea he was missing. All his appointments had been rescheduled or postponed, the projects he had finished had been sent on time, and everything was organized for his return. Namie had the rest of the week off, as she insisted after the ungodly hours she claimed to have spent managing everything in his absence. A box would be arriving for him at the hotel. It was the last thing he had asked of her.

The hotel room was rather disappointing after the luxury resort he had just left, but it had a clean bed and a desk near a window and the air wasn't stuffy. Izaya placed the backpack containing his laptop next to the desk. He checked his recently bought smartphone. Still no new messages. He put it down within reach and got started right away.

Work was slow with one hand and a persisting headache. But that was to be expected. His concussion, while bad, hadn’t been severe enough to show signs of cerebral contusions or otherwise any long term effects, but if he worked too many consecutives hours it would pound and throb as if it could escape his skull. The mild pain relievers helped with the worst of the migraine. If that didn’t work, he rested. He should be resting more, as that had been the doctor’s orders, but time didn’t allow it. He swallowed two painkillers with a glass of water, barely noticing the bitter, cherry flavor.

When he checked online for any missed calls or texts from his personal phone that had been with him on the island, he was pleasantly surprised that he had gotten two texts from Shinra, which only turned out to be him asking if he knew Shizuo’s whereabouts since his ‘beloved’ was getting worried and thus ‘the terrible pain’ it caused him that her attention was on another man. Izaya read the long winded text and put it down halfway through. His missed called history showed that besides Shinra, the only person who had tried to reach him had been Namie.

Izaya didn’t let it weigh on him that no one else had called for him. He was sure the chat room had felt the loss of his absence and once he had more time, he could return to them. Right now he needed to focus, compile pictures that he could salvage from his SIM card, and sort through the information coming his way. He already had made a good start these past few days.

A yakuza subgroup in Ginza, run by a relatively new and rising clan head, had been responsible for involving Shizuo and him on the island. Izaya had never made direct contact with them and there were no known altercations which connected them to Shizuo. He had considered that they were paid by those higher up or even by someone closer to home, but as of yet there were no concrete leads.

That had been the first thing that Izaya had uncovered. There were so many groups involved, it would have taken too long to gather everything he needed, which was why he hired those who could do most of the work for him. It helped that the videos and evidence were rather carelessly spread. Hacking it hadn’t been nearly as difficult as Izaya had first supposed.

His list grew as the days passed. From what information was leaked, Izaya knew whatever was left of the island was being cleaned up. Shizuo’s and his escape had set off a final trial, a free-for-all, and any survivor was shipped back with their freedom the only reward.

Why the game had ended, Izaya had his theories. He entertained the idea that they had gotten nervous—realized the sloppy trails they had left and only now wiping their own asses and discovering not gold in their hands but shit. The full effect would hit them soon once Izaya was done. It was what kept him working so long through the headaches.

The entire time the phone on the corner of his desk remained silent. It was on and charged, and any time his concentration wavered, he would stare at it absently before realizing. He checked the dollars forum for any new information regarding Shizuo. There was none. Not a single sighting. It might be that Shizuo was out there in clothes other than his bartender outfitter, and thus hadn't yet been recognized. There was one thread, posted a week ago, wondering where he went, and Izaya quickly read the first few amusing speculations, but there was nothing to gain by reading them.

In the chat room, Izaya took a few minutes announcing his return, or more precisely Kanra’s return. They had wondered where Kanra had gone, and he gushed about a cruise trip and the fun ‘Kanra’ had at a tropical island resort. He further explained that he had no wifi on the boat and thus could only tell them about it now. They were envious, except for Bakyura as Kida-kun who told him it was a shame he hadn't fallen off the boat and drowned. The courier asked if he went alone, and Izaya was about to write ‘with my boyfriend ;)’ as a joke before deleting it and inserting a heart and ‘it's a secret’. Mikado privately messaged him he was glad that he was back. His sisters though hadn't known he was gone and were predictably annoyed by the news. In private chat mode, they pestered him until Izaya told them he had gotten them something and that he was busy.

He was tempted to ask what he had missed, but he was too busy and instead said goodbye and left the chatroom.

It was nearly a full week since his return in Japan, when he woke up with an itch at his injured hand. He didn’t want to take any chances. He texted Shinra the address and a few details. The response was that he’d be there right away. Izaya showered and after waited in the lobby, sitting further away against the wall.

“Oh, so you are alive,” Shinra greeted with a disarming smile.

He’d heard those words before, Izaya thought blandly. Not those exact same but something uncannily familiar. “Nice to see you as well, Shinra,” Izaya said dryly. An early morning headache was well on its way. He stood up so they could do this in his room. Shinra continued to talk all the way up the elevator ride.

“I’m joking, joking. Of course you would be fine. Or mostly fine, since you did ask me to come over. But you would be skeptical too if you heard the things I did. I mean it’s hard to believe. I didn't at first. I thought Shizuo was making it up or at least parts of it. Let's face it, the likelihood of you surviving through an infection and Shizuo administering proper and complicated medical aid is far-fetched at best. I thought you’d died and he was making up the rest out of grief to survive. And then there's the fact you never returned my texts for weeks, and you wanted to meet here and it wasn't the usual number you use. So you see, I didn't know what to expect when someone claiming to be you texted me.” Shinra was about to continue, when Izaya stopped him.

“You saw Shizuo?”

“Ah-huh,” Shinra nodded, his stare knowing. Izaya took out his hotel key and slotted it into the door. Shinra went ahead through. “Yesterday actually. So is it all true? Were you two really on an island?”

Izaya waited for the door chains to slide in before facing Shinra. “Why would you believe anything I said when you already heard what you needed from Shizuo and didn’t believe him anyway?”

“Ah, but you know how he is. He only says so much,” Shinra said while washing his hands at the sink.

"Which I’m sure was more than you deserved.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. You two finally worked things out after all of these years. Of course I’d want to hear all about it. I’ve been waiting for this day since I first introduced you two. You see, I was right. You could come to like him.”

More than that. Izaya sighed pointedly. “I asked you to come to see my hand, not talk my ear off.” He sat at his desk and held out his arm.

“Ah, so you don’t deny it.”

“Will you quit that already? I don't have all day.”

Shinra sighed and dropped his emergency kit on the bed. He was putting on his surgical gloves. “Fine, but I’m not giving up.”

The bandages unraveled from his palm and Izaya kept from showing his discomfort. He knew he should have been cleaning it better, but he had relied on the antibiotics to do the work for him.

“So it’s your left hand. I bet that made things pretty difficult. Oh, you really did a number on it. I’m surprised you still even have a hand. Lucky you.”

“Yes, it’s very ugly.” Izaya said while looking at the wall above Shinra's head. He’d seen enough of it.

“Hmm,” Shinra hummed as he cleaned it. “Can you even move your fingers?”

“I haven't tried with the fractures in my wrist.”

Shinra turned his hand around and dabbed something cold along the healing skin. “Did Shizuo do this?”

Izaya winced as the cotton ran over the injury sight. “If I paid you double the usual amount will you do this silently?”

“I have to know what happened, if not as your friend but as your doctor.”

Izaya looked down at Shinra’s grinning face, then frowned and stared at the wall again. “Then I’ll tell you what I told the other doctor. I got it fighting off pirates who hijacked our boat and left us stranded on a raft out on seas for days. Is that exciting enough for you?”

“Pirates, huh? And they believed you?”

“I can be very convincing. Plus they have a problem with modern piracy in the Indian Ocean. It’s more believable than what I could have said.”

“Which is?”

Izaya smirked, shaking his head. “That I brought it upon myself.”

“What are you saying? That’s completely believable. And what else?”

“And that’s it. Are you done yet? I think you are getting rusty if it takes you this long to change a bandage.”

“I am finished. But you better keep an eye on it, if you want to be able to use it again. Need anything else?”

“No, not that you can help with.” Izaya brought back his hand and inspected the snug and even bandages. His next words were mild, as if disinterested. “Oh, but when you saw Shizuo, how was he?”

“Well, physically he was fine, if not then more tired than normal. I’d say though he seemed, hmm, he seemed not so good. Like he had a lot on his mind. Well, back then I did think he was making up that you were alive, so I thought he looked miserable because of that. But looks like I was wrong there.”

“I see.” Izaya let slip a tiny grin. Miserable, huh?

“Ah, no wait.” Shinra waved his hand. “He actually kind of reminded me of you. Perhaps he spent too much time with the wrong company.”

Izaya shook his head and flipped his laptop screen open. “Thanks Shinra.”

“Yeah, it was good to see you Izaya-kun. Let me know when you are done hiding out here and want to really talk.”

He didn’t bother telling him he wasn’t really hiding, just playing it safe. He waved his good hand. “I’ll call if I need you.” With the door closed and Shinra no longer there to see, Izaya dropped his head against the cool wood of the desk and put a hand where his headache was the worst.

It would only be a little longer. He knew he was close and the reward would definitely be worth it. He repeated it a few times before sitting up and resuming his work on the laptop.

It took two more days, and the entire time Izaya could hardly rest properly, but it was done.

From atop his desk he picked up a simple custom made mask. It had a painted white face with red-rimmed eye holes that flared out like fox eyes. Where a mouth would have been was only a thinly painted black line that extended all the way from both ends. The inside was black as charcoal. He spun it in his hand and it became a black and white blur, yin and yang, which should have meant harmony, but only reminded him of a decapitated head.

He lifted the black side towards his face and tied it on. A digital camera stacked atop books sat across from him. The lights were off in the small room and only the nightlife streamed in from the window. He pushed a button and when the camera blinked twice, he began to speak.

“I must congratulate you on a wonderful job with that island. It was certainly—” Izaya smiled though it could not be seen from behind the mask, “—eye opening. So much so that it has inspired me to contact you now. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” He paused before lifting up the mask. “But I find it...somewhat distasteful. To take credit for work that isn’t your own.” Izaya chuckled, well aware of the irony of what he had just quoted. “Sound familiar?”

“I have thought up many ways to improve your game that I know you would very much appreciate, and what better way to compliment you than by letting you experience it first hand. But I am getting ahead of myself. While I could send you all to the same hell, I have decided I much prefer to do things my own way.”

He picked up a small black memory stick.

“Don’t worry the rules are simple. In my hand is a compilation of your involvement for these games and whatever information I could find on you. It would be quite amusing then if I hid it somewhere, oh let's say somewhere in your country, and you had a time limit of two days to find it. Easy, right? I’ll give you a hint. Look inwards.” Izaya winked.

“And if you don't, then it will be sent to some very interested people. But you see, I'll give you a choice. You can play this game or you can offer me something that is a fitting amount for the trouble you caused me. You know, I am an informant. I can make a deal regarding your information if the price warrants impunity. Of course if you try to break the rules and do something to me or someone else, it's game over.”

“The choice is yours,” Izaya stressed.

He shut off the recording and leaned back. Predictably, they would send money or whatever they had to offer. Now he just had to wait two days. In that time he could contact anyone who had survived and had helped him, send them payment for it too. The money that he was expecting, he would have given a large sum to Shizuo, but Shizuo wouldn't want it.

While he could have spent his life making them pay, Izaya just wanted it to be over, more so for Shizuo than for himself. It was the last definite thing he could offer, and Izaya couldn’t wait to send Shizuo the text that it was all finally done. It was wishful thinking, he knew, when what happened on the island would never truly leave them, but this was the first step of many to putting it behind them.

There was no more island that could drag them back; no monsters there but the ones that had sunk their teeth and left their marks, but neither of them had been eaten.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the lines that Izaya quoted in the recording were taken from the Saw V film directly (the imitation part)
> 
> Special thanks to my sister for looking it over and whose great suggestion this time is to say—I wrote two endings, if you can figure out this riddle, I will post the happy one: what do I have in my pocket?
> 
> Till next time and thank you for all your thoughts :D


	50. fuck it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd just have to bury his disappointment, even if that meant never seeing Izaya again except in passing on the streets...if he was allowed that. The only thing he could do was let Izaya go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day.
> 
> I enjoyed all of your answers to the riddle! What was in my pocket was the Philosopher's butt plug which grants immortality to those who wear it. Though a ring or nothing or lint sufficed.

It was busiest near the station with the first signs of the early morning rush hour, and Shizuo took the route home that he knew would be less crowded. When he could, he slinked through narrow alleyways and went by the back of stores and restaurants. Each step home nagged at him in a way that made it impossible to appreciate walking down the streets that he hadn't seen for what felt like years. No one recognized him without his normal attire.

The sight of his old apartment building stirred very little in him. He collected the mail on his way up the stairs. Most of it was bills and advertisements. A spare key was tucked underneath a slim sheet of metal by the window ledge. He peeled the metal back and fished it out.

He noticed the slight stagnant smell of cigarette smoke, warm and dragging like an unwelcome itch, mixing with whatever odor was left in the bins under his sink—the rinsed out milk bottles, other recyclables, and garbage that had been left to stew in his hot apartment. He frowned as he took off his sandals and stepped inside. The lights flicked and hummed softly.

Shizuo tossed the mail on the kitchen table and opened the window above the sink. He walked the short span to his living room and opened that wall-length window too. Hanging on a dry rack was some undershirts that would need to be rewashed.

The phone was still in his pocket. Izaya said he could call, but Shizuo wouldn't, no matter how much he wanted to. Not twenty minutes had passed since he'd last seen him, and what would he say? If he could call and say nothing—hear only the typing keys or light catches of breath, at least it would be something, an artificial silence made in the comfort of another. Except...except Shizuo would be expected to say something and his jaw was clenched with the weight of not knowing what to say. No, he couldn't call. He'd only be making a nuisance of himself.

He should be calling Tom-san or his family, but Shizuo wasn't calm enough and instead, he took a shower. Afterwards, he rolled out his futon and dropped onto the flat padding. He stared at the phone for a few seconds before turning away and drawing up the covers.

It wasn't better when Shizuo woke up suddenly, late at night to the sounds of traffic. His eyes darted around the shadows along his walls, finally settling on the shiny black shape of the cell phone. Slowly his awareness returned. He checked to see if maybe Izaya had called, but his phone had no new notifications.

He knew by the racing pulse in his ears and the rigidity of his limbs that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. He stumbled out of bed to the kitchen, the phone clasped tight in his hand, and wary that he'd break it, Shizuo stuffed it into his sweatpants.

He got an empty glass. His nose scrunched as he opened the carton and smelled the milk that had gone off. All of his food in the fridge had gone bad. Shizuo dumped everything that looked or smelled spoiled into the garbage.

He drank water from the sink all the while aware of the shape of the phone in his pants. The cup in his hand was in danger of shattering. He set it down and grabbed his phone, sliding it on in one motion. There was indeed only one contact, Izaya's.

He could message, but did this phone even have messaging? He checked and it did. His relief was corrupted by a surge of frustration; he couldn't text a single thing because this was what he wanted, right? This way he couldn't fuck things up.

He scowled. That uneasy feeling was weighing him down and he needed to do something.

A list of numbers and business cards were in a pocket-sized notebook. It had all of his contacts, just a handful of names since he kept on breaking his phones. Tom-san's name was highlighted.

The line rang five times before a click and answer came. " _Hello_?" In the background came sounds of traffic. Shizuo hadn't even thought of the time and saw from the clock on his wall that it was nine at night.

"Hey, Tom-san, it's me. Sorry, it's late."

" _Shizuo_!" The voice that was normally so calm changed instantly. " _It's been weeks. What happened? Hey, are you okay? Are you safe?"_

Shizuo bowed his head, feeling awkward even through the phone. "Sorry. I'm fine now. I, uh," he hadn't really thought about what he was going to say. "I was in some trouble, but I'm okay now. But I don't think I can go to work yet." Then he winced for never thinking things through. Did he still have a job? "That is if you didn't already find a replacement."

" _No, no, of course not. Everyone's been worried and looking out for you. You had me listed as your emergency contact so we didn't contact your family until the third day you were gone. We weren't sure if we should get the police involved in a missing person report. Your parents figured you just needed some time alone, but they decided to file that you were missing last Thursday. It's good to hear from you._   _But do you need any help with anything? You know, if you're in any trouble, tell me right away. I'll see what I can do."_

Shizuo was more than relieved yet there was no way he was going to put Tom-senpai in any danger. "I actually only need a little more time off if that's alright. It's getting resolved now. But I don't think it's safe to return to work. Not yet, it's...it's complicated. Sorry, I can't tell you more."

" _Yeah, that's okay. You have a lot of sick days stacked up and I knew there was a good reason why you would suddenly disappear. I'm glad you are coming back. Hey, I'm near the station now. Do you want me to go ahead and have them cancel the missing person's report?"_

Shizuo was about to say yeah, but then he caught himself. "Not yet. I'll do it myself."

" _Can I tell the office? Vorona?"_

"Vorona's okay."

" _Alright. So you're home now?"_

Shizuo wasn't sure if he should disclose even this, but he couldn't lie to him. "Yeah."

" _Good, let me know if there is anything you need and take as long off as necessary. But I hope you come back soon, yeah? It's not the same without you."_

Shizuo didn't deserve such kindness. "Thanks. I will." He then said a quiet goodbye and hung up. If Tom-san knew the things he had done, the bodies Shizuo had crushed, there was no way that things could be the same. The thought of returning to work and seeing Tom-san's easy smile suddenly made him unnerved. Was returning to work even possible? What if someone pissed him off and he lost it and went too far?

Shizuo put a hand over his face and exhaled slowly. It would have been better to not have called that way he had the option of leaving quietly. But he still had to contact his family.

Shizuo thought of a story before he called. He decided to tell them that he needed time away from the city. He was grateful that neither of his parents pushed his story too hard. Having raised him with all of his many shortcomings, they knew when not to ask too many questions and accept what he had to say. They were just elated to hear of his return. It made Shizuo realize that he couldn't leave a second time without worrying them sick. He didn't want to talk too long, saying that he needed to call Kasuka.

He almost hoped that Kasuka was busy with work when Shizuo dialed his number, but the quiet click and steady voice of his brother answered him. " _Hello?"_

"Hey, Kasuka."

The phone picked up the soft exhale, then Kasuka referred to him as brother as calm as ever. Hearing that even tone had him loosening. Kasuka had been witness to so many of his uncontrollable acts of violence and not once had he shown any signs of judgement. Shizuo had always appreciated that. He decided not to lie completely.

" _So you've returned?"_ Kasuka asked unfazed when Shizuo let the silence extend too long.

"Yeah, I told mom and dad that I needed time away, but I didn't want them to worry. I was actually kidnapped and put on an island. I just got back."

The line was quiet for a few seconds as if Kasuka was waiting for him to elaborate. " _Hmm, I see. Are you okay?"_

"Yeah," Shizuo sighed. "Just fine."

" _That's good."_  In the background Shizuo heard a meow. " _I had a feeling something was keeping you away, but I knew you would come back. So the people who did that to you, they won't bother you anymore?"_

"I'm getting some help on that, but yeah."

" _Good. I'm glad you're okay."_

He wondered if he should say more, but there was no way that he wanted Kasuka to know that his older brother was a murderer. There was only so much that his actions could be forgiven or left without judgment. "And everything is alright with you?" Shizuo asked, his throat tight.

" _Yes. My current project is going well_."

Shizuo listened for some minutes as Kasuka told him briefly about his new role in an upcoming movie about a boxer turned robot action movie. Shizuo wished him luck and they said goodnight.

Shizuo put down the phone on the table and leaned back in his seat. A few minutes later, his stomach grumbled pathetically. There was a pack of frozen fried rice in the freezer which he warmed on the stove and added ketchup and mayonnaise to. It wasn't particularly appetizing, but Shizuo hadn't eaten much, only having picked at the airplane food. His last decent meal had been the dinner he had with Izaya. It made him feel a twinge of guilt and Shizuo only took a few bites of food before losing his appetite.

He spent the rest of his night on his narrow couch, resting for only short intervals. It was only just brightening, the sun hidden behind taller buildings, when Shizuo decided to get up. With nothing to do, he spent a few hours cleaning his apartment, careful not to be too loud for his neighbors. Not that they would do anything to his face, but they would complain to the landlord.

It didn't take long, considering the size of his place. He even took the time to wipe down his now empty fridge. He entertained the idea of changing and going out to buy some food, but he figured he still had some packets of ramen, rice, and other instant foods so he didn't really need anything. Not even the thought of milk roused him to leave.

It wasn't that he feared being found out by the people who got him on the island—hell, if he found them he'd make sure they'd regret what they did. The reason why he didn't want to leave was because he didn't want to deal with people in general. Which was why he spent the next few days inside, essentially trying to distract himself. He had an old laptop that he used to play movies. He watched a few of his favorites, mostly Kasuka's earlier roles, but not even that lifted his mood and after a while he could no longer focus, his glazed eyes staring blankly at the screen.

Normally, he'd spend the majority of his days outside. If he wasn't working with Tom-san, then he would go to any of the local parks or walk to one of his many favorite cafes. But until he heard from Izaya, Shizuo decided he wouldn't make any unnecessary trouble by going out and drawing attention to himself.

Except he never hated his previous solitary lifestyle now more than ever when the real problem was keeping his own company, and this was made more obvious after he spent two solid weeks with another. It didn't help that he'd already pushed away the only person he did want to spend time with. He only had himself there to blame, which he did, each time his thoughts drifted to what Izaya was doing. If he was eating regularly. If he was getting better.

But why would Izaya want to spend time with him now? When it was obvious that Shizuo couldn't do anything right, when his hands were made to hurt others. Enough of Izaya's blood had already been spilled from his knuckles, the thought of any more sent him sick to his stomach. Keeping his distance was doing him a favor.

And yet, that didn't stop Shizuo from feeling like he'd made a mistake: that something was wrong and he had no control over what he was supposed to do. It only frustrated him further that he couldn't do anything about it.

The need for food finally drove him out of his apartment, four days later after he exhausted the instant junk in his cabinets. A local FamilyMart was at the corner of his block. He purposely chose a later time when there would be fewer people. The clothes he wore were plain, nondescript, and on the edge of well-worn from too many washings. When he entered the brightly lit convenience store, Shizuo did his best to avoid the people lurking and milling about in the aisles.

He grabbed a grey basket and headed to the back where the refrigerated drinks were kept. He got three cartons of milk, then headed over to the premade foods and grabbed a few ham and egg sandwiches. He picked a roll of bread, some more instant foods, and calorie bars before heading towards the front of the store where the sleeping pills were kept. He didn't know how strong they were if they would work at all on him, but Shizuo hated the thought of another long night.

His palms were sweaty holding the basket as he became more aware of the people on line with him. Shizuo scratched his arm absently while waiting.

An old lady ahead of him picked the coins from her purse as the friendly cashier waited for her change. On the other line, a businessman had put his basket on the counter and was asking for a pack of cigarettes behind the glass. Shizuo thought of doing the same. Maybe then the bad associations that were stopping him from smoking would leave if he started again.

Something prickled, sharp and instinctual. His back became tense as someone stepped too close behind him. He reacted without thinking, imagining the worst and turning around to send the fucker right to hell—only to see a kid half his size staring wide-eyed at him and rapidly backing up into the display rack as if Shizuo has shoved him into it. The boy's food clattered to the ground, a bag of potato chips, a bottle of orange soda, and a bun rolled across the floor. "Sorry," the boy said between trembling lips and stumbled a bit more as he tried to grab his things but his hands were too unsteady. He scrambled back and ducked around the corner.

It became grossly quiet. The items stopped ringing up, footsteps halted, and no one moved as if they were holding their breath, watching. Watching him with poorly concealed fear. Both cashiers shared a glance between themselves, silently questioning what to do if there was a problem. Shizuo looked down at a corner of the counter where the tiles were a little off. It took all of his resolve to hold still. His face burned and he waited as the noises slowly came back. The old lady shook her head as she hobbled out.

Shizuo didn't look up as he put his things on the counter. In a way, he was glad it was a man at this register, at least then he wouldn't have to feel even worse than he already did. He put two 1000 yen bills on the counter. He didn't bother asking for a carton of cigarettes. His tongue might as well be his own foot in his mouth.

Shizuo didn't miss the slight tremor in the hand that returned the money to him or the strained way he spoke. Without a second glance at the scene he had made, he went straight home and dropped his purchase on the table. The complete fear in the kid's face had followed him and showed no sign of leaving anytime soon.

He was about to text Izaya but stopped. Instead, he messaged Celty.

[ _hey Celty are you free to meet up?_ ] Then he remembered she didn't have this new contact info.  _[its Shizuo_ ] He was too anxious to sit and wait for her response. His legs were itching to move and pacing his small apartment like a caged animal wouldn't help. It was late out when Shizuo stepped out on his way to Shinra's and Celty's apartment. His phone vibrated while on the way.

[ _Shizuo!_ ] [ _What happened? You disappeared!_ ] When he didn't respond for a full minute, Celty continued. [ _Do you need me to pick you up or should we meet up at the park by your place?_ ]

[ _actually I'm a block away. I'll go to you_ ]

[ _okay_ ]

Five minutes later he was riding the elevator up. Celty was waiting for him outside the door, and the black smoke billowed from underneath her helmet when she saw him. She stepped closer with her phone in hand.

[ _Shizuo! Where have you been? Is everything alright?_ ]

She then noticed how tense he was, the slight forward hunch of his shoulders, and the distracted look that he got when something was bothering him. She stepped aside to make room for him inside her home. She typed a new message on her phone. [ _I made some tea. Would you like any?_ ]

"Yeah, thanks," he muttered.

"Shizuo-kun, is that you?" Shinra called from the living room. He must have come straight from the shower because instead of his white coat, he was wearing leisure wear and a towel drawn over his shoulders. "So what have you been up to?"

Shizuo hadn't come to talk about what happened, but of course he would be expected to say something. "I've been away."

"Well,  _yeah_! Without telling anyone. Hey, you made Celty worry, and while it was fun to comfort her, it wasn't fair that you took up so much of her attention! I kept telling her there's no point worrying, it's Shizuo! Shizuo! But she was beginning to think you were abducted by aliens. Isn't that so sweet of her? Maybe I should get abducted by aliens too and Celty will be overcome with worry. Then when I return it'll be the most touching reunion. Imagine it, she'll never want to let go of me again."

Shizuo flopped down onto the couch. He wasn't at all bothered by the rambling, it almost made him feel something close to normal.

"Oh, your arm is bleeding. Want me to take a look at it?"

Celty rushed in with a tray and a set of metal cups. She showed Shinra her phone and he frowned at what he read. "I was only seeing if his arm is okay? What's the big deal?"

Celty typed a new message which she showed to Shizuo. [ _If Shinra's bothering you, I can send him to another room_.]

Shinra managed to see part of it, though she was trying to keep him back. "Eh?" Shinra whined, "but I want to know what happened." He then turned to Shizuo. "I'll clean your arm quietly, just pretend I'm not here."

Shizuo hadn't noticed in the slightest what Shinra was saying about his arm. Where the bandages had been since he'd last replaced them was only bare skin. Pink trails ran across his arm and uneven scabs had opened up. He must have been picking at it without realizing.

"Hmm? What did this? It almost looks like a chainsaw did it?" Shinra mused as he set up his supplies.

Shizuo looked down at his arm where the jagged triangular lines ran in an arch along his bicep. How long had he been walking around with a bleeding arm? He tsked. "A shark bit me."

"Huh, shark?" Shinra's hand halted. "A shark did this!?"

"Yeah, weren't you listening? A shark tried to bite me and I elbowed it in the mouth. Though I did almost lose an arm from someone chasing me with a chainsaw."

Shinra and Celty shared a bewildered look—well, Shinra looked bewildered, whereas the smoke under Celty's helmet puffed. Celty typed on her phone and Shinra resumed cleaning his arm. [ _What!? Why was someone chasing you with a chainsaw? What happened?_ ]

Shizuo was beginning to think it had been a bad idea to come. "I don't know. Why does anyone chase someone with a chainsaw if not to kill them?"

"It sounds like you had an eventful two weeks. Mind starting from the beginning?" Shinra asked.

Shizuo grimaced and picked up a cup of tea. "Actually, I thought maybe you could tell me how you two have been?" He looked awkwardly away, feeling foolish for even asking. "Did I miss anything?"

They turned towards each other once again before facing him.

"We've been as much in love as always, actually even more in love since we both had fewer clients so each day was spent in unimaginable bliss together. If you were expecting a secret wedding then I'm sorry to disappoint, that's next week."

Celty tried to jab him in the stomach for that.

[ _Don't pay him any mind._ ] [ _Things have been pretty calm recently._ ] [ _It seems like a certain troublemaker hasn't been around recently either so you don't have to worry about anyone making a mess of the city in your absence_.]

It took Shizuo a few seconds to realize who she was referring to. "Well of course Izaya hasn't been around. He was with me the entire time."

Celty's smoke spiked and Shinra nearly fell back off the couch. Whatever was in the clear bottle splashed across his shirt.

"Huh! Izaya was with you?"

"You didn't know he was gone?" Shizuo said with the roughness of a growl. "What kind of friend are you?"

"It's not my fault Izaya comes and goes as he pleases." Shinra took out a new bandage, clearly without notice to the growing anger he was invoking. "He didn't tell me he moved out of Ikebukuro until three months after. And more importantly, what do you mean he was with you? Is he even still alive?"

The metal cup crumpled in Shizuo's hand and hot tea gushed between his fingers. He dropped it in favor of reaching over and grabbing the front of Shinra's T-shirt. It was that flippant attitude disregarding Izaya's life that reminded him of who he had once been. Shizuo brought him close, their eyes leveled, fists ready to make their mark across Shinra's face, but before he could regret doing anything, he let go. He hadn't noticed Celty's shadows wrapping around his wrists either.

Shinra landed back on the couch with a loud gasp. "Sorry. Sorry, shouldn't have mentioned him," he prattled and was about to continue but stopped, finally catching that something was off.

There was that same harrowing beast, the uncontrollable rage that sometimes hit like a wave crashing over him. It was impossible to push back, it blurred his vision, soaked his fists, and yanked on his ankles like it wanted to topple him so till he'd drown from it. Holding back from his anger was even harder, his fists shook from the effort, and eventually the wave receded without taking hold of him.

Shizuo could barely look at either of them. “No, I’m sorry. And I’ll get you a new cup. I should...I should probably go.” It was stupid to come. Talking wouldn’t help. All he’d wanted was a semblance of normalcy, of familiarity, but never before had he felt so detached from them. They wouldn’t understand even if he told them.  
  
Celty chose her words carefully. [ _It’s okay. Don't mind the cup_.] [ _Is something bothering you, Shizuo? We can talk alone if you want?_ ]

"At least let me finish bandaging you up," Shinra said with his hands up in surrender. "And I promise not to say another word."

Shizuo took a few deliberating seconds, glancing at them then looking at the door. Finally, he sat back down, slowly. He reminded himself that these were his friends and even if they couldn't understand, they could listen. He may not want to think about what happened on the island, at least not the worst parts, but not everything had been bad.

"If you can manage to be quiet, Shinra, then I'll say a little about where I've been."

Shinra made a motion that he'd be silent. Only his fingers moved as he wrapped the bandages back.

What Shizuo ended up telling them was very little and some parts were out of order since a lot happened the first two days. At the part in the control room, specifically leading up to when Izaya was nearly beaten to death, he began to sweat, his limbs prickling numbly at the memory of it.

Whether Celty or Shinra noticed any discomfort that Shizuo felt, they didn't say. They did seem to be more surprised that Izaya came back and they got the keys out. When Shinra tried to intrude, Celty stuck a band of black smoke over his mouth to muffle his question. He didn't seem to mind the treatment though.

Shizuo mentioned very little about the others they met on the island, only saying there was a naked Russian man and a pervert with a long red scarf and cowboy boots. At the part that Izaya got sick, he completely skipped the next few days after that and resumed once more when they burned the island and swam to the yacht. After which he said in passing that they were on another island then went home.

It didn't take so long to say all of this, but Shizuo was incredibly tired by the end. These last few nights he hadn't been sleeping well and now he was feeling it. Perhaps that was why he didn't feel better for revealing what little he did.

They took a moment to absorb the story. Shinra still had a strip over his mouth, but his expression was oddly serious, thoughtful even.

Celty texted at last. [ _It's amazing what you both went through_.] [ _I suppose that means that Izaya and you are now getting along?_ ]

This had Shizuo swallowing hard, his guilt surfacing. He nodded minutely. Of course, Shizuo hadn't mentioned just how close Izaya and he got along, nor the part where he was now, not even sure what little there was after his last fuck up. He missed Izaya and that only had him feeling worse.

"I'd better go now. It's getting late." Shizuo managed to say. It was almost midnight.

[ _You sure you don't want to stay over?_ ]

Shizuo was already standing, backing away.

[ _Or I can take you home?_ ]

"No, I'll be fine, thanks."

Shinra had the shadow closing his mouth, so he said some muffled things and then waved goodnight.

Celty waited with him by the elevator, but Shizuo was too drained to say much more. She seemed to notice and didn't type much but a friendly goodnight.

Shizuo walked briskly with his hands in his pockets, gaze downwards, and he avoided the people who were still out in the summer night looking for a fun time.

He took three pills with a glass of warmed up milk when he got home. The sleeping pills must have been crap because he stared up at his ceiling for a good part of the night.

Legs twisted in the sheets, body too warm with sweat, he was half aware when he lifted his hands and the shadows were like blood on his hands. The wetness on his hands felt too real. He ripped the sheets on his way to get the lights. There was no blood, and yet his hands continued to shake no matter how hard he clenched them. He drove a hand into the nightstand. Wood exploded. The lamp and books clattered to the ground.

Now there was only his own blood across his knuckles. Slowly, as if he were waking up, Shizuo came to. He went to the kitchen to run his hand under the faucet. The scrapes were nearly closed up as Shizuo applied several band-aids.

He'd forgotten the phone and with a start, he realized that he'd left it on the nightstand he'd just broken. It was still in one piece on the floor. There were no cracks but a piece of plastic had chipped. Shizuo treated it as if it could break any second. It worked. He checked the buttons, clicked on his contacts, and hovered over Izaya's name.

He could call to see if he was sleeping. But what if he woke him up? It was 4:49. He put the phone down before he impulsively called, but then he got another idea. A text wouldn't be too bothersome.

Shizuo scowled and placed the phone just within reach.

Was he going to want to call every time he got like this—any time he woke up from a nightmare, looking in the dark for something missing.

He knew it wasn't just a phone call that he wanted, and that was part of the problem. Shizuo kicked at his covers, angry at himself. He flopped down onto his futon and took a few deep breaths.

It would be fine. Izaya will message him soon and then Shizuo wouldn't have to worry anymore. It was an easy solution and yet damningly unsatisfying because there was nothing more after. Shizuo would return to work, and Izaya would do whatever he wanted.

Shizuo recalled that promise they'd made, that Izaya could come into Ikebukuro whenever he wanted. It had seemed like a necessary inconvenience back then, but now Shizuo would be glad if he did. Except it wasn't like Izaya had any reason to stop by to see him, not with the way they parted indicated.

Fuck, if he knew it was going to be this annoying, he should have broken down that damn train door and gone with Izaya to wherever. It was much better than this not knowing. But there was no way Shizuo could have done anything different. He'd just have to bury his disappointment, even if that meant never seeing Izaya again except in passing on the streets...if he was allowed that. The only thing he could do was let Izaya go.

The very thought had him gripping his sheets hard, the fabric tearing like streams of paper, but it was as if something was ripping further inside where the seams were already drawn too tight.

Shizuo lurched out of bed, but he had nowhere to go but the confines of his own dark room. His steps were surely traveling down to the apartment below though he didn't care in the slightest. He had too much unchecked energy. A run around the block or having something to hit would have helped, but Shizuo wasn't sure if he stepped outside that he could stop himself from making trouble. He did a series of one-armed push-ups until he felt the burn as deep in his bones.

Tired at last, he took a cold shower and was able to think clearer. If this was what he was experiencing, then he couldn't imagine what Izaya was feeling. Admittedly, he hadn't really thought too hard about how to respond to Izaya's confession. Perhaps if he had, he wouldn't be in this mess.

Back in the caves it had seemed more of an impossibility that Izaya could actually feel that way about him when for the most part only violence had been directed his way. Shizuo hadn't wanted to fully accept those words because it seemed too unreal. It didn't add up to what he envisioned love to be. Then again, Izaya had always been inconceivable to the point of being impossible to understand—never responding normally to whatever Shizuo threw at him. Maybe that's why he could breathe words of love when anyone else would have been rightly appalled after witnessing a bloodbath.

Shizuo had no idea what to make of it all since he'd never been in love before. He knew though that he'd never want to hurt the person he was with and if he was going to be with someone he wanted to do it properly, or as properly as someone like him could offer. While it was obvious that he no longer wished to hurt Izaya, and that he still felt terrible for almost killing him, that didn't mean more...

He frowned, retracing his thoughts. Sure, he cared but he cared about all of the people he considered important to him. Though not to this awareness like he did with Izaya.

"Am I seriously considering that I love him?" Shizuo mumbled to himself and turned off the taps as he had enough of his shower. "I must be dead tired."

The thought didn't slip away as easily as the water down the drain; it lingered. As he towel dried his hair, changed into sweats, and got a glass of milk, his thoughts continued to prod at the edge of his awareness each time he wondered about Izaya.

It was only because he felt guilty and missed Izaya that he was thinking such things. These words he repeated in his mind in hopes of drowning anything else. The last thing he needed was to be in love. He wasn't fit for it. He'd sooner tear out his own heart than risk destroying the one he loved.

He'd once thought that the most painful thing was living with his broken, fucked up self, but that might as well have been said by a completely different person. It was as if he'd been gutted in the chest and sent hurtling into the depths of the ocean. Yeah, he knew that pain and the reason for it; the one thing worse than living with himself was losing someone whose life meant more than his own.

He was pushing away the only person he felt anything real for and it hurt more than he could have imagined.

_Shit, shit, shit._

He cursed a string of words and dropped down onto the living room couch. "Shit, shit, ah, fuck, I do, I do."

He always did the one thing he wasn't supposed to. There was no running from something inside him, no escape from himself, he could only accept it and accept the parts he despised because someone else had already accepted it for him. "I do love him."

He raked a hand over his face, wishing that he didn't.

The change from night to morning was slow, withdrawn. Above him was the shape of the round ceiling fixture and Shizuo stared at it for hours, only blinking when absolutely necessary.

The sounds of his neighbors waking traveled through the thin walls: steps from above, an alarm clock left to vibrate for minutes, muted talking below. It went on like this till one by one they left, and after that there was only outside traffic in its place. Through it all, Shizuo rarely stirred. It was better listening to this—less to think about. These noises were nothing and filled the emptiness around him, but it was impossible to fool his own loneliness. He was too tired to keep up with his thoughts, preferring to shut down instead.

It didn't matter if he was being a coward because it was only to himself and that was the point. As if he'd drag another person down with him.

His food slowly ran out. He lost track of how many days it had been, but every hour he'd check his phone and charge it when necessary. He was forced to go out for groceries once more and he went further to a different convenience store. He barely noticed the people this time, his gaze was lowered to his feet. He probably looked like shit since that was how he felt.

On the way back to his apartment, he picked up the mail.

Again it was mostly advertisements. A single piece of paper slipped from the bundle and he picked up a postcard in a foreign language. The front image had a cartoon bear with a bottle of beer visiting some royal looking palace. The back had a bunch of words he couldn't read. The postage though indicated that it was from Russia. Shizuo got a bad feeling about it.

He did have Vorona's number and could always send a photo of it. He typed her a quick hey and asked if she could translate something if she wasn't busy.

[ _So it is true you have returned, Shizuo-senpai._   _This news is most welcome. Tom-san's safety was kept in your absence. I am free now. What do you need assistance with?_ ]

[ _i got this postcard and I think its in Russian. Do you mind translating it?_ ]

[ _That would be no problem._ ]

Shizuo took a picture and sent the photo.

[ _The postcard says 'To Shizu-chan and friend, I've returned to my home safely and have acquired a great deal of money. Let me come over and we can celebrate with drink. I would like to have drinking contest and know who is the strongest between us. I have good friend who lives where you are. He told me where I could try the best sushi and drink expensive alcohol, all Russian favorites. It will be my treat. I will visit soon, Jakow Rokossovsky'. What a coincidence, if this is the same man who smells of pigs feet then I know him. Is it that you two are engaged in friendship?_ ]

It was a miracle Shizuo didn't break his phone. It took him several tries to type something coherent. [ _Thanks Vorona. No, he and I aren't friends. Did it say when he was coming?_ ]

[ _No, only that it would be soon_.] [ _If he is not friend, is he then enemy?_ ]

[ _I_   _don't like him. I'll avoid him when he comes_ ] Shizuo would be sure to get as far away from that man as possible. How the hell did he get his contact info?

[ _When do you plan to return? Shizuo-senpai's presence is missed.]_  Vorona texted.

[ _i'll come back soon. Thanks for taking care of things_ ]

[ _No problem. I look forward to the day you return_.]

Fifteen minutes later, while testily eating cereal, his phone vibrated once more and he hadn't expected her to text him again. He slid it on and saw it was a message from Izaya.

He immediately clicked it and dropped his spoon into his bowl.

[ _It's done._ ]

The text came with a surge of relief. His previous anger dissolved. Shizuo felt it to his bones, overwhelming in the best of ways. So Izaya was okay. He wanted to see him and pull him into a careful hug. His first instinct was to call.

He left his bowl on the kitchen table where the corn flakes were left to sog. Shizuo texted as he went out the door. The message was a simple 'where are you'. His steps were lighter than they had been all week. Izaya responded that he was in his apartment in Shinjuku.

Shizuo took public transportation, and he was halfway there before he saw himself in the reflection of the glass window. He looked nearly as wild as he did when on the island. The major difference here was that he had a plain white shirt.

He ran a hand through his hair to tame it. He'd washed recently, the night before, and suddenly he was glad for that. All the time spent away only made him more restless.

He'd only take a look, he told himself. He'd see for himself that Izaya was okay and then he could feel better again. He could leave and step quietly out of Izaya's life. Shizuo didn't let his emotions twist because he was seeing Izaya and he didn't want to ruin it by going with a foul mood.

He was at the apartment building and Shizuo took the stairs, suddenly anxious. He was half worried that somehow he'd do something stupid. He didn't tell Izaya anything in the last text, only that he was coming.

He double checked the number on the door. His hesitation lasted the span of the furious beating of his heart that had nothing to do with the stairs he'd just walked. He rung the doorbell.

There was a definite noise beyond the door, and Shizuo waited some tense seconds. He swept the hair out of his eyes, not having noticed the humidity of the city's late summer day until it was sticking to him. He wiped his sweaty palms against his pants.

Izaya unlocked the door. A cool breeze came through, the aircon was as strong as a department building. Izaya looked exactly as he always did, impeccable, healthy, and maddingly perfect. His slight grin always hinted that he knew more than what was going on.

Shizuo didn't care that he was staring. He had to stop the impulse to step inside and hug him.

Izaya grinned wider, satisfied as if he knew. The door opened further as he spread his arms. "Why don't you come inside, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo nodded and dumbly followed. A week's worth of questions were floating in his brain, things like how he'd been, was he getting proper rest, was it really over, but Shizuo couldn't articulate any of that when he could barely swallow past the knowledge that this would inevitably end in goodbye. The past few days had prepared him for nothing.

Animal slippers were set out for him. He stared at them for a second and Izaya laughed. "Gifts from my sisters," he explained. A matching set was on Izaya and it was endearing in ways that broke him.

"Oh."

Shizuo went further inside. Izaya's place was spacious, expensive, and spoke of great tastes. It was the exact opposite of his own apartment. A tea set was prepared on the coffee table and Izaya was already pouring two cups.

Shizuo had only come to see Izaya, but here he was on Izaya's leather sofa with a cup of barley tea.

"So how have you been?" Izaya asked, probably bored of Shizuo staring into his cup. It was easier than making eye contact.

He looked up long enough for his desires to conflict. Shizuo shrugged, his hands going sweaty from nerves. "As good as I'll ever be."

Izaya hummed and swirled the contents of his tea. "And does that include getting at least one decent night's rest?"

Shizuo frowned. "Yeah." He did, that first night home. Well, he did sleep, just not at night. "What about you?"

"Just as well." Izaya took a sip of his hot drink. Steam glided over his lips, swirling over keen eyes.

Shizuo should never have kissed Izaya. It was the one thing he'd repeated in his mind. He wished he hadn't. He wished he didn't know. Knowing was dangerous.

"As I said in the text, there is nothing more to worry about. They won't be bothering us anymore. I made sure they paid the right amount."

Shizuo didn't know what that entailed, he was only partly listening, but as long as it meant that they wouldn't go after Izaya, then that was what mattered. "Good."

Izaya set his cup down. Shizuo saw him in the reflection of the big flat screen TV attached to the wall. "So tell me, what did you come all of this way for?"

This got his full attention. Shizuo could hardly say that he'd come impulsively, or that he'd missed him, but he also couldn't say something untrue. His brain was coming up short. "To see you..." He said it as it was. "I had to be sure you were okay."

"Yes, well that would be more believable if you'd actually look at me for longer than five seconds." Shizuo hadn't realized that. He turned now, his thoughts more uneasy, a jumbled mess inside him. "And now that you've seen me, will you be on your way? Perhaps I should have sent a photo and spared you the trip."

For reasons he was now aware of, his unease hurtled into something painful, jarring. Only three minutes here and Shizuo had already messed up. "Should I go?" It was the opposite of what he wanted. But he didn't know what was wanted of him.

Izaya sighed. "I'm not kicking you out. You know I spent nearly every waking moment since arriving working. I've only just got back. I just don't know how much good company I'll make now."

Shizuo shouldn't be relieved to hear this but he was. "I can come back another time then?"

Izaya crossed his legs and made a show of getting more comfortable. "No, no. It's fine, really." He poured himself another cup. Shizuo had yet to touch his own. "So what have you been up to?"

"Not much," Shizuo said, his thoughts scrambled for whatever productive things he'd done. There wasn't much. "Stayed home mostly. Cleaned."

"I see. Well, Shinra visited me. He said he saw you and that you were miserable. Is that true?"

Damnit Shinra! "What? I didn't say that at all!"

"My mistake. He said that you seemed miserable," Izaya amended, but it wasn't much better.

"That's because half the time he ends up pissing me off. Whatever, he's a pain in the ass to deal with."

"So then you were fine?"

Shizuo was about to mutter a gruff yes, but this was Izaya who would best understand him. "What do you think?"

Izaya hummed, toyed with the cup as if examining it, before giving him a sidelong glance. "Remember what I said? That suffering ceases to be suffering once you find meaning in it. Right, you do. Then you remember what you said to that."

Shizuo did remember. "Yeah, so what?"

"Suffering ceases to be suffering when you say 'fuck it', not so easy to do, huh? That's because you feel guilty. And this guilt has nowhere to go because you won't forgive yourself for what you had no real control over."

Shizuo nearly bit his tongue with the force he snapped his teeth together.

"And because you had no control over the situation, you believe you have no control over yourself. Is that right?"

Shizuo didn't respond. He would have done something with his hands if he could steady them.

Izaya continued, his tone without a trace of mockery, and it was for this reason that Shizuo remained seated. "Did you know that I no longer feel so guilty for what I did, not that it's completely gone, but I can survive it. I took someone's life. I was wrong to think out of both of us, you should have been the one to do it, and thus I tried fixing it by bringing you down to the same level. But that wasn't the way to make things right. You did have enough control to stop when I didn't."

A self-deprecating smile disappeared as quickly as it came. Izaya shook his head. "It was when I went back for you...the night that your collar was meant to go off, that was when I let go of what I'd done. It's when I did that, believe it or not, that I was in a sense saved and able to let go. So thank you for not turning me away then even though you had every right to."

"Of course there will always be a bit of suffering and a bit of guilt for the worst we ever made ourselves out to be, but that's also what makes us human. That's why we aren't the monsters no matter what our thoughts say otherwise. You didn't do anything wrong, Shizu-chan. Maybe one day you can find your reason to let go of your hatred for yourself."

"Or maybe you will just end up saying fuck it." Izaya shrugged. "That would be just as fitting an end."

As clearly as he'd ever gotten some sense knocked into him, and thankfully without the need for a bat against the back of his skull, Shizuo was beginning to see the possibility that he'd feared to accept. He did want more and he didn't have to listen to the coward in his thoughts that said it was impossible for someone like him.

He picked up the cup and drained it in one go. The hot tea further loosened the ache of having ground his teeth together. Keeping away now was the worst things he could do to either of them; he saw that now. It didn't have to be how things ended.

"Thanks," Shizuo said. "I needed that."

Izaya inclined his head and offered more tea.

The problem with someone becoming more important than even yourself is that you can no longer live without them. And Shizuo wouldn't let anyone take him away, not even himself.

A sense of peace came to him. It was the closest he had come to relaxing in a long time.

He'd do this as Izaya deserved, properly.

"So, Izaya, you in the mood for tuna?"

"I haven't had lunch yet if that's what you're asking." His eyes belied that he already knew. The hint of a grin was only just forming.

Shizuo felt all the nerves as one would asking someone on a first date, and for him that meant it felt right. Meaningful. He didn't ask because he promised, he did it because he wanted to.

"Then how about that date to Russia Sushi?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so very happy to finish this and thank you for sticking around and for your support. It has been a journey to write and share. I'll be busy for some time so I don't know how active I'll be posting here. But I will always love Shizuo and Izaya.


End file.
